i watched this for like 20 minutes

Aisles  [M]

Aisle One

Summary: Jungkook was your best friend. You held onto his secrets. And he knew all of yours. Except for one. One that would change your friendship forever. You were in love with him.

Pairing: Reader x Jungkook

Genre: bestfriend!au, college!au, angst, smut

Word Count: 7,458

Originally posted by sugutie

Aisle One Aisle Two Aisle Three

“What toothpaste brand do you like?” you asked as you walked down the aisle. You were  too busy staring at the different brands of toothpaste in your hands to notice the person you were talking to wasn’t Hoseok.

“I like the one in your left hand” a strange voice responded.


Your head snapped up to look at the owner of the voice that didn’t belong Hoseok. As you took in his frame, he was definitely the complete opposite of the person you had mistaken him for.The boy in front of you was tall, muscular. His messy dark hair hidden beneath a beanie. He smiled at you and for a second you forgot how words worked, incapable of processing anything else that he was saying.


“I’m sorry, I thought you were my roommate” you nervously spat out as soon as you regained the ability to speak.


He laughed as the two of you stood awkwardly across from each other, “Don’t worry about it”


“Marco!” you heard Hoseok’s voice ring out through the otherwise quiet pharmacy.


“Polo” you responded as your cheeks flushed a million different shades of red as the boy’s face lit up even more. But you couldn’t get the nerve to look at him, avoiding eye contact by returning one of the tubes of toothpaste back onto the shelf you had taken it from. The sound of your rescue, Hoseok’s footsteps, got louder and louder as they filled the growing awkward silence between the two of you.


“Y/N, where have you been? I thought you got swallowed by a toothpaste monster or something” Hoseok teased as he walked up to the two of you.

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dad and i watch captain america: the winter soldier
  • dad: oh god it's starting shut up i've been waiting for this for months
  • (movie starts)
  • dad: THESE ARE THE BICEPS OF FREEDOM
  • dad: i don't know what's happening but the french guy fighting cap looks like french macklemore
  • me: how do you even know who macklemore is?
  • dad: i'm hip. i'm cool
  • me: don't you do it
  • dad: i'm gonna pop some tags, only got 20 baguettes in my pocket
  • (five minutes later)
  • dad: is that the Falcon? that's totally the Falcon
  • me: how do you know?
  • dad: i used to read the comic books trust me on this i'm an expert. his superpower was that he could talk to birds
  • me: birds?
  • dad: i mean in hindsight it probably wasn't the most useful thing ever
  • dad: if this winter soldier is supposedly a ghost in the machine that nobody's ever seen, and nobody will ever catch, you would think showing up in broad daylight and blowing up cars would not be his modus operandi
  • dad: how the heck did he laser through concrete??
  • me: idk dad it's nick fury he can probably do whatever he wants
  • dad: i'm sorry attractive nurse who just so happens to live next door, my heart belongs to a seventy year russian dude with a bionic arm
  • me: what
  • dad:
  • dad: nick fury isn't dead. justice never dies. he probably has a billion clones in some top secret storage facility, just waiting for their organ harvest.
  • me: ew dad gross no
  • dad: i really relate to that apple store employee
  • me: we all do dad
  • dad: oh that's that guy from the first movie! i remember him! he was my favorite, his eyes were so blue, and he loved steve so much. i wanted them to get together
  • me: dad good god
  • dad: he was a little less marilyn manson at that point though
  • dad: not that guyliner isn't a good look for this guy
  • dad: when a deadly russian assassin wears eyeliner, it's 'he's so dreamy' and 'wow what a badass'
  • dad: but when i do it it's 'you're too old' and 'bald guys can't pull off make-up'
  • me: dad it was halloween and it was one time you need to let this go
  • dad: so bucky barnes, aka cute cocky guy who died in the first movie, aka steve roger's best friend/boyfriend, is a top secret super scary brainwashed hydra agent?
  • me: mmm-hm
  • dad: called it
  • dad: do you think single handedly destroying jets is just a common, everyday thing for cap? punch a few tanks, feed a few pigeons, take out a plane, help old ladies cross the street...
  • dad: captain america is like your grandad minus the booze and the cussing
  • dad: in all honesty that was a little anti-climactic
  • dad: i was 100% sure nick fury was gonna descend majestically from the heavens, 'All I do is Win' blaring in the background, and single-handedly save everyone's ass
  • dad: scarjo and chris evans are two of the most beautiful people in the world and they are both in this movie and i don't know how to feel about it i have butterflies in my stomach i'm a schoolboy again
  • me: you know on second thought we should have brought mom
  • dad: where's hawkeye? where's bruce? where's tony? where's thor? WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER AVENGERS AS THE ENTIRETY OF SHIELD IS COMPROMISED AND NICK FURY DIES
  • me: maybe they figured steve could handle it
  • dad: maybe they're all lazy assholes
youtube

This is the most gripping shit I have ever seen. This dude is so into ants that every moment of moving his ants to a new terrarium is like the invasion of the fucking white walkers. There is terror. There is uncertainty. There is adversity and triumph. I have never been so invested in anything so fast as I was while watching this 20 minute long video about a guy trying to solve a mite problem for his pet ants. Subscribe to his channel. They’re all like this. Now that Game of Thrones is over you need something with this kind of drama. These kinds of stakes. This ant guy is all I care about now. 

“Well that’s disgusting,
I feel bad for that poor kid”

“How are we supposed to protect our baby from hate?”

some tips from your local depressed college student
  • cheap paper towels + hydrogen peroxide = acne treatment (just be careful not to bleach your eyebrows unless you’re into that idk)
  • use the acne face soap on your chest, upper back, and shoulders instead, since it doesn’t do shit for your face (or at least not mine)
  • no one is stopping you from bushing your teeth in the shower except yourself (just eliminating that extra step of going to the sink makes it so much easier for me)
  • did you know you’re actually supposed to put on stick deodorant at night??? It has time to absorb while u sleep or stare at the ceiling in dispair whichever works best for u
  • carrots and/or apples dipped in peanut butter = dinner (or just plain peanut butter but it helps to get a lil something extra if you can manage it)
  • if you give yourself an allowance of skip days (i’m talking like 3 or 4 max) then it can be easier to go to class if you remind yourself “i only have 2 skip days left, I’m gonna save them until I REALLY need them” (think of skip days like non-essential items in a video game - you could use them now, but what if you really need them during the final boss battle later on??)
  • the velveeta microwave dinners aren’t great but they’re cheap and better than some other options out there. the mac n cheese w/ meat ones can smell a bit like dog food but they still taste pretty good
  • if you like peppermint hot chocolate - save the after dinner mints you get at places like Chik Fil A and italian restaurants and such and then drop a couple in your mug before you put it in the microwave. boom. 
  • if you’ve got a sore throat, just take a spoonful of honey (or squirt it directly from the bottle to your mouth if you’re a heathen like me) and go find a hot drink
  • for essays - highlight/number/circle/whatever you want to do to make ‘em stand out the quotes you want to use in your paper, then go take a shower or get something to eat or just watch like a 15-20 minute video on YouTube and then come back to your paper, pop those fuckin’ quotes in the right order, and write in the smart bullshit around them
  • okay actually the one thing that I will spend a little extra money on is cough drops bc i get a sore throat all the damn time and the only kind i will buy anymore is Halls Breezers they taste like candy instead of koala shit my personal favorite is cool berry but the orange creme ones are good too honestly these cough drops have saved my life at least six times now
  • coffee is gr9 but don’t forget to have some water every day too dehydration is NOT FUN (speaking from very painful personal experience)
I googled the cabbie’s number

Image from here.

771126 looked like a date to me, but backwards.

77/11/26 or 26th November 1977. I googled it and the very first hit was something called the Southern Television Broadcast Interruption that happened on that date. This is it:

This video is titled “alien broadcast” or something, but it’s actually real footage of a real thing that happened on 26th November 1977 (a real hoax, done by people, not aliens). It was a broadcast interruption through the Hannington transmitter of the Independent Broadcasting Authority in the UK on 26th Nov, 1977. The interruption is generally considered to be a hoax, and the hijaker remains unknown. The interruption lasted 6 minutes, and took over the sound, leaving the video signal unaltered aside from some picture distortion. The speaker claimed to be a representative of the “Intergalactic Association”. It interrupted the news, then transmission returned to normal shortly after. Southern Television later apologised for a “breakthrough in sound”.

An explanation is given for how this security breach could have happened:  “At that time, the Hannington UHF television transmitter was unusual in being one of the few transmitters which rebroadcast an off-air signal received from another transmitter (Southern Television’s Rowridge transmitter on the Isle of Wight), rather than being fed directly by a landline. As a consequence it was open to this kind of signal intrusion, as even a relatively low-powered transmission very close to the receiver could overwhelm its reception of the intended signal, resulting in the unauthorised transmission being amplified and rebroadcast across a far wider area. The IBA stated that to carry out a hoax would take “a considerable amount of technical know-how" and a spokesman for Southern Television confirmed that "A hoaxer jammed our transmitter in the wilds of North Hampshire by taking another transmitter very close to it.” However, like the Max Headroom broadcast signal intrusion a decade later, the identity of the intruder was never confirmed.



** Which means they had planned the HLV broadcast signal interruption story line before they even made the props for ASiP **


After all that I went on to casually start reading about Max Headroom (a weird thing I actually watched on TV in the 80s when I was little and the satire and subtext of it were beyond me) and found the British made pilot, titled “20 minutes into the future”. Weirdly, it’s very very relevant, and I don’t know if this cabbie number clue was meant to point me towards this, but it did anyway. I pointed out shortly after TLD aired that “20 minutes” had been said quite a few times in TLD, and that it was probably important (also see this and this). Also, mentions of 20 minutes in TLD and elsewhere are almost without fail a reference to something that’s going to happen in 20 minutes time, that is, 20 minutes in the future, as if it’s a countdown to something. Culverton’s life will change in exactly 20 minutes. John asks Sherlock if he will be okay by himself for 20 minutes.

To tell you the short version for now… the movie “Max Headroom: 20 minutes into the future” is about an evil television network hiding a dangerous truth from it’s viewers. People are dying because of this secret, in a most violent and terrifying way. A journalist is working to uncover the truth, and while doing so has an accident and is “brain dead” at one point before resurrecting himself from a morgue and coming back to complete his mission - *spoiler* the hero (the journalist) finally uncovers the truth! And reveals it to all via a live television transmission. 

I also like this parallel …The evil television network had taken the face of a dead man (the journalist) and used circa 1985 computer technology to animate his face so that he could continue to appear on camera in order to convince the public that he was still alive. Essentially, they turned him into a puppet.

The fact that we only see Moriarty’s head, and the unusual choice of backdrop for this shot of dummy!Jim which looks like it might possibly have been inspired by the amazing Max Headroom animation grid background..

…is all hopefully just a reference to the fact that someone was using Jim’s image to trick the public into thinking he was still alive when he wasn’t (even though in the movie he was actually still alive). Basically, the movie is about the media as a villain, hiding truths from viewers and brainwashing them, and a small band of rebel journalists (from within the evil media) who go on a mission to reveal this truth to the public. And they do reveal it, and the rebels win :) You can watch the movie here.

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How High?
  • “I didn’t have any money for food, so I searched ‘pizza slideshows’ on YouTube & watched videos of pizza until I fell asleep." 
  • "I searched for 20 minutes to find the burger I’d been eating, so I walked 7 blocks to McDonald’s to get another one before realizing it was in my hand the entire time. I had eaten half of it on the way there." 
  • "My friend and I were playing Mario Cart Racing in Nintendo 64. We finished the race & both got excited because we placed 1st. Turns out, I was watching her screen the whole time & my character on my screen was stuck banging into a wall." 
  • "I cuddled with my warm laundry for 20 minutes." 
  • "I smoked a bowl and began to drive home - an hour away. I developed an intimate bond with the truck in front of me. I felt like it was my mama elephant & I was its baby holding onto its tail. I nearly cried when the truck changed lanes." 
  • "The ticket said, 'Found in a tree; attempted assault on officers; tried to pass as a monkey.’" 
  • "I went to my communications class. The teacher asked me to do a quick introduction speech, so I said 'hi, my name is’, laughed for 2 minutes, apologized, walked out, & immediately dropped the class." 
  • "I asked my mom why she would accuse me of smoking in her house, & she said 'because you’re holding a joint.’" 
  • "I was dancing around in my room to the most upbeat song ever, only to realize it was actually the wind. After deciding Lady Gaga ain’t got shit on the wind, a bird started chirping & I started smiling at the idea of a bird coming in, yelling out "REMIX” & joining in on the song.“ 
  • "I watched a bug snapper for an hour by myself, & I screamed "MAN DOWN” whenever a mosquito flew into it.“ 
  • "I just held up my headphone to an ant I found because I was listening to techno & thought he might want to rave." 
  • "I got in the shower & realized my socks were still on. Instead of taking them off, I made up a song about having socks on in the shower. It was awesome." 
  • "I was playing a video game where I was riding around on a horse, my friend turned to me & said, 'this is the greatest movie I’ve ever seen.’" 
  • "Our dad came in to check on us. I was sitting on my bed laughing at nothing & when he looked at me, I tried to hide behind my slice of pizza." 

POPULAR TEXT POSTS + ASK MEME  (  PART 3  )

❛ i need a reasonable paying job, something like $2,000 an hour. nothing too wild. ❜
❛ idc (i do care) ❜
❛ ‘are you taken?’ yes bitch, taken for granted ❜
❛ half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half is, well, an asshole ❜
❛ you’re yelling? at ME? the one person who has never done anything wrong ever?????? ❜
❛ you will find your home, you will find your place. you will find your people. give it a little bit of time but it will happen. ❜
❛ in order lead a happy life i’m gonna have to disappoint my parents a bit. ❜
❛ any body else here not good at anything??? ❜
❛ you can’t force people to appreciate you. ❜
❛ *puts on baseball cap* i am the dad now… ❜
❛ i fake smart.. like i’m honestly a dumbass idk shit but i know how to seem like i do.. i’m smart-passing.. ❜
❛ every straight woman who ever called her platonic friend her ‘girlfriend’ owes me $50 ❜
❛ i am a professional at misreading tones and overreacting to problems that most likely don’t exist ❜
❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life, i will be impressed with myself ❜
❛ you can’t cure sadnesses with a shower but honestly there is no purer place to suffer ❜
❛ patiently waiting for a kind soul to come along and make everything a little softer, brighter. ❜
❛ honestly i don’t even play an active role in my life, shit just happens and i’m like oh this is what we’re doing now? ok ❜
❛ no offense but if i die and no one uses a ouija board to keep me updated on memes i will literally haunt you all ❜
❛ imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 an hour ❜
❛ i have finally reached the age of most young adult protagonists yet my life is still uneventful??? where is my cool story??? my cool talents??? @ universe i’m pissed ❜
❛ hello, police? i accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested ❜
❛ *tries to watch 45 minute episode in 20 minutes ❜
❛ please don’t just come in my life, take my heart and leave. please don’t do that. ❜
❛ concept: me, 10 years from now, living in a pretty house with my love, sipping a hot cappuccino on a rainy autumn afternoon. our dog curls up next to me in the window bench while our cat snoozes on the bed. i’m financially stable and i’m never tired anymore. the bees are safe. ❜
❛ i can’t believe what walkie talkies are called ❜
❛ the gorilla could have died and been done with in like a week but none of you know how to be normal ❜
❛ me: *is bitter but is also right* ❜
❛ just saw a girl in high heels long boarding to class. godspeed, my queen. ❜
❛ i’ve never belonged anywhere, i’m always just in between ❜
❛ too young for unnecessary stress, i gotta live ❜
❛ i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information ❜
❛ i’m like always sleepy. i feel like i should be used to this by now and stop complaining about being sleepy but i can’t. always, i’m sleepy. ❜
❛ lmao no offense… but what’s the point of being mean to people for no reason ❜
❛ drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious, and most importantly, drunk ❜
❛ “alcohol isn’t supposed to taste good” buddy watch me drink the fruitiest/sweetest shit i can find and enjoy it because i don’t hate myself enough to even begin to consider drinking like.. beer ❜
❛ tfw you’re already fully aware of the unnecessary self destructive bullshit you’re doing but you can’t bring yourself to do anything to stop it ❜
❛ hey sorry for not replying i didn’t want to ❜
❛ honestly how am i gonna make it in the world???? i get a little teary eyed any time someone compliments my personality ❜
❛ true bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing ❜
❛ *touches your hand and looks seriously into your eyes* i am a piece of shit ❜
❛ lets play ‘how rude can i be until you realize i don’t like you’ ❜
❛ i love drunk me but i don’t trust her ❜
❛ hate when i am wearing makeup and still look shitty like what else am i supposed to do? get enough sleep? eat right and exercise??? as if ❜
❛ i’m not on a high horse. i’m not even on a horse. i’m face down in a ditch on the road of life ❜
❛ i hate when people ask me what i would do in their situation because 9 times out of 10 i would literally never be in that situation in the first place ❜
❛ i barely remember the last 6 months honestly like am i even alive ❜
❛ you had me at ‘hello’ and lost me at ‘i think your friend is cute’ ❜
❛ i’m pretty sure by now ‘tired’ is just a part of my personality description ❜
❛ wow i really liked that song now i think i’ll listen to it another seventy times in a row ❜
❛ ‘shit it’s 2 a.m.’ i say every day at 2 a.m. as if i’m surprised ❜
❛ i’ve been stressed out since like the third day of second grade ❜
❛ telling other girls they look pretty is like cracking a glow stick full of positivity and female friendship ❜
❛ i want to be sun kissed and also people kissed ❜
❛ about me: glowing, eating peaches, drinking wine in lingerie, not texting your desperate ass back  ❜
❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜
❛ due to unfortunate circumstances, i am awake ❜
❛ i’m gonna solve mysteries so fucking good ❜
❛ what did people even wear in 2008 ❜
❛ i’ll just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  my way through life ❜
❛ you know what sucks? everything bye ❜
❛ me? overreacting? probably ❜
❛ people asking me what kind of music i like is such a stressful experience ❜
❛ honestly if i survive the next 3 years of my life i will be impressed with myself ❜
❛ if you listen carefully you can hear me whisper ‘shut the fuck up’ at least once every five minutes ❜
❛ any time you like a boy just know you played yourself. always keep that stored in your mind for later ❜
❛ hopeless romantic with trust issues and a sex drive out the roof ❜
❛ what i lack in personality i make up for in…….. nothing ❜
❛ me? cancelled ❜
❛ an app that tells you how raven something is ❜
❛ be with someone who will take care of you. not materialistically but takes care of your soul, your well being, your heart, and everything that’s you ❜
❛ i love the infinite multiverse theory because that means there’s a universe where i’ve pulled every single fire alarm i’ve ever seen ❜
❛ name a more iconic duo than the lengths i’ll go to both get attention and to avoid it… i’ll wait ❜
❛ i just want to be treated very gently and smell like vanilla and wear only matte dusty rose lipstick ❜
❛ 2017 is going to be a very healing year because it’s going to force us to accept that 2007 was ten years ago not three and i think that’s the root of our collective issues ❜
❛ i just wanna do cute things with you like crush the patriarchy, fight for gender equality, and help to destroy racism ❜
❛ i may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented… i forgot where i was going with this ❜
❛ how is 2016 already almost over?? like this bitch came in, fucked us up, then left like she gave us a gift ❜
❛ supercalifragilisticextentialcrisis ❜
❛ stop breaking your own motherfucking heart ❜
❛ co-napping is a beautiful thing. knock out with me so i know it’s real ❜
❛ *on the verge of tears* ok not that i care, but ❜
❛ it’s not you…. it’s your zodiac sign ❜
❛ i want to be loved so bad it’s pathetic and embarrassing ❜
❛ my heart is filled with hate and swag ❜
❛ ‘i don’t care’ i say, caringly, as i care deeply ❜
❛ i highly recommend never having feelings ❜
❛ we all ugly to somebody, don’t trip ❜
❛ do i have a crush or am i just idolizing this person for being vaguely nice to me? ❜
❛ my parents were arguing today and my mom said that justin timberlake wouldn’t treat her like this ❜
❛ kissing is hella rad but no one is kissing me so that makes me hella sad ❜
❛ everyone’s having their mid-life crisis at like 19 ❜
❛ there are just people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine ❜
❛ dermatologists HATE me… everyone hates me. i’m so alone ❜
❛ you know when you realize and you just… realize ❜
❛ a girl can respect herself and still take booty pics wtf y’all talkin about ❜
❛ i’m not badass i’m sadass i cry about everything ❜
❛ inspired by animal crossing, i’ve started doing this thing where i mail my best friends a framed picture of myself and then never speak to them again ❜
❛ i didn’t know double texting was such a big deal?? i have a lot to say ❜
❛ can someone please just be proud of me like fuck i’m trying ❜
❛ cosmo sex tip #367: when you’re in the mood, tell you partner ‘my spidey senses are tingling’ ❜

(  you can find the other popular text posts memes on my old blog: 1, 2 )

My thoughts on SPN episode 12x10:

  • Oooo two angel blades… it’s like Darth Maul’s double ended lightsaber, so we know this eye patch chick is evil.
  • Aw Dean and Cas are in a fight. Adorable. This is like every fanfic I’ve ever read. 
  • Sarcastic Cas gives me life.
  • Oh a Balthazar shoutout! Yaaasssss miss him. 
  • OMG Sam calling Dean on his impatience and then Dean storming in after Cas. I love it. 
  • OMG THAT BOOTH SHOT WITH DEAN CROWDING CAS WITH THAT SMUG ASS LOOK. I CANNOT.
  • The Winchesters going to defend Cas MY HEART.
  • Dean saying, “Why would you let him talk to you like that?” is all I’ve ever needed. 
  • Ooooo fem!Cas… still got those blue eyes.
  • This is an episode about an angel who fell in love with a human? IS THIS A DREAM????
  • Castiel has canonically been referred to as “gooey” - this is a good day. 
  • Dean calling Cas family is always a great thing. 
  • I am really pissed off that Castiel used some of his grace to heal this son of a bitch evil angel. 
  • The tidbit about Enochian magic burning away a part of your soul is hella. AND a reference to soulless!sam… this ep has EVERYTHING.
  • This redhead has been around for like 20 minutes and already understands that Sam will do anything to save Dean. She is on point. 
  • DEAN BEING IDENTIFIED AS CAS’ WEAKNESS. DEAN BEING WORRIED ABOUT HURTING CAS. THIS EP IS EVERYTHING. 
  • This Winchester pep talk to Cas is like five years too late buuuuut okay I’ll take it. 

In conclusion: This episode reminded me why I fell in love with SPN. 

Summer Anime 2016

This summer we have so many anime with an all-male cast, I was so happy I decided to to a rec/ranking/review/summary. Note: I only watch anime with mostly males I’m sorry it’s just what I like lol so this list may not match yours. (I cannot stand female leads - except maybe Gintama? - because they will escalate into romantic relationships and they annoy me to no end. It’s like the only purpose of females is romance and I hate that.) And a warning is that I’m kind of shallow so I normally look at the guys’ looks and then their character. But good character and relationship developments are definitely essential to me too.

1. Fukigen na Mononokean

I’ve rec it so many times I feel like I’m part of the official publicity comm but it’s really good :) My favourite character is Abeno cause he’s really adorable and tsundere (?) haha. If you like youkai, friendship and touching moments, do try this out!! It’s a little similar to Natsume Yuujinchou too.

2. Servamp

It looks really interesting so I watched it and when I saw the OP I screamed cause all-male cast! Compared to Spring 2016 this season does look more appealing to me. And I’ve ran out of anime with all bromance (other than sports anime) and no romance. So anyway for Servamp, Kuro was a really cute cat, and the setting seems interesting enough for me to chase. I feel like I might not like the main character as much though but we’ll see. 

3. Fudanshi Kokou Seikatsu

Ahh this is really cute I can relate so much to the main character as a Fujoshi myself :D and I can hardly find friends who can fangirl with me. It’s really sad to be embarrassed for liking gay ships ;n; The only bad thing about the series is that it’s too short each episode haha.

4. D.Gray-man Hallow

I’ve read the manga but didn’t understand most of it. Still, it’s likeable and I like Allen and Kanda. I felt like this season they beautified all the characters and Kanda definitely looks better with his new hairstyle/fringe :DD I hope they can animate most of the manga and I hope we can finally understand what is going on with the 14th.

5. Handa-kun

I just watched the 1st episode today and all I can is that it’s really good and hilarious omg. Only it’s too short with the first 9min trying to break the fourth wall and I couldn’t understand the humor at all. Still, the rest of the episode was worth it! Can’t wait for the rest!

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Beefy Bucky

(Bucky x Reader)

Thank you @narsissisticcracker for the request! (Sorry for how long it took!)

Summary: Beefy Bucky! One day he catches you staring at him and makes you tell him why, but you’re embarrassed because his beefiness turns you on.

Warnings: Makeout sesh, language a little bit.

                You walked into the gym for your morning workout session, when you saw your boyfriend lifting weights in front of the mirrors. He grunted softly as he curled his huge biceps. You walked up behind him and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, giving him a quick kiss on his neck.

                “Hey Doll, why are you here so early?” Bucky asked, removing his headphones and turning to face you.

                “I woke up early and couldn’t fall back asleep.” You replied before making your way over to the tread mill.

                Lucky for you, the treadmill was positioned so you had the perfect view of Bucky. Man, he was so beefy. His muscles were enormous, he had always been strong, but something was different. He had been working out more than usual lately, causing him to look huge and you couldn’t stop staring at him. Every now and then he’d glance over at you and smirk, and you’d look away pretending you hadn’t been staring at him all along. After 20 minutes you moved to an even better ‘Bucky watching’ location, the chin up bar. At this point, he very obviously knew something was up with you. He put down his weights and walked over to you. This didn’t stop you from continuing with your exercise, until he grabbed you by the waist and lifted you off the chin up bar.

                “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” You yelled as he effortlessly placed you on the ground, despite your squirming.

                “You like what you see, huh?” He grinned slyly.

                “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said pretending to be clueless, trying to return to your workout.

                “You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Bucky grabbed your wrist, spinning you around to face him.

                “Buck-“ You whispered, your faces just inches apart.

                “Tell me why you keep staring at me.” He growled seductively, both intimidating you, and turning you on.

                “You’re just so muscular, and beefy.” You ran your hands along his shoulders and down his back.

                “I’m beefy?” He questioned, sounding surprised.

                “Yeah, y’know, you’re just, I don’t know.” You buried your face in his chest in embarrassment.

                “Am I making you blush Y/n?” He laughed brushing your hair off your neck.

                You felt his warm lips make contact with your skin, causing chills to run down your spine. He knew all your sweet spots, and exactly how to make you collapse into him.

                “Do I turn you on Y/n?” He whispered into your ear.

                “Y-yes.” You answered breathily.

He pushed you against the wall and placed his huge metal hand under your ass, lifting you up, forcing you to wrap your legs around his bulky core. His lips never left yours. This kiss was needy, sloppy, but still passionate. Your hands grasped his hair, and he moved his lips to your jawline leaving airy pecks. He pulled away brushing his nose against yours, releasing your legs.

“Maybe I should work out in the morning more often.” You smirked, biting your lower lip.

“I am pretty hot I guess.” He laughed walking away, purposefully flexing just to tease you.

Lost

Pairings: Steve x f!Reader

Request:

A Captain America x Reader one where the Avengers go camping and they get lost?


Pietro has created a chatroom.

Pietro has added Y/N, Thor, Bucky, Natasha, Tony, Bruce.

Pietro: Y/N. Whyyyyyyyyyy, whyyyyyyy did your boyfriend decide camping would be a good idea?!

Natasha: It was actually mine, Thor and Bucky’s idea.

Pietro: Whyyyyyyy Nat?! WHYYYYYYY BARNES?! THOR I TRUSTED YOU.

Bruce: No one forced you to come, Pietro. So stop complaining.

Tony: Actually I forced him to come because I know how much he hates camping.

Pietro: Are you telling me the rest of you actually accepted to camping of your own free will?! Whyyyyyyy Tony?

Tony: I knew his suffering would be entertaining.

Natasha: Damn, Stark. I never knew you had it in you.

Tony: Gotta make up for the lack of tech somehow.

Y/N: Pietro, you’ll enjoy this trip. Trust me. It’s going to be a lot of fun!

Pietro: We have been walking for hours and we still haven’t reached the campsite yet.

Thor: We have seen an abundance of cute animals, there is much deserved fresh air after many days spent on the jet after Clint consumed bad tacos, we are getting exercise in this trek - my pecs look impeccable, and we are in good company!

Pietro: 1. The only good thing out of this is the animals. 2. This isn’t my type of exercise ;) 3. Tony basically kidnapped me. He is not good company.

Bucky: Pietro is right, we have been walking for hours. We should be by the campsite by now.

Bruce: Question, why are we using our phones to communicate if we’re together?

Y/N: Because Steve is just… so happy. Look at him. He’s enjoying this so much.

Pietro: I may be bitter about this trip but my complaining would ruin it for Steve and he deserves a break.

Bruce: Ummm… Y/N?

Y/N: Yeah, Bruce?

Bruce: There’s a very large, angry looking bug on you. Don’t move.

Y/N: YOU CANT JUST TELL ME THAT BRUCE AND THEN EXPECT ME NOT TO MOVE GET IT OFF GET IT OFF BRUCE BRUCE DO SOMETHING BRUCE BRUCE OH GOD NATASHA SAVE ME

Natasha: It’s gone! Calm down. You’re okay, you’re okay. I promise not to let any bug near you. Since the boys are pretty much cowards, I’ll take on the role of bug destroyer.

Bucky: …it was so big nat… so terrifying… you are our hero.

Y/N: Where did it go though…?

Bruce: Oh it’s entangled in Thor’s hair now.

Thor: LADY NATASHA, RESCUE ME FROM THIS FOUL DEMON. I DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS TORTURE, AWAY WITH IT! IT’S HISSING! ODIN HELP ME.

Tony: THOR DON’T SUMMON LIGHTNING!

Thor: I WILL SMITE THEE, DEMON! THIS LECHEROUS THING THINKS IT CAN ATTACK ME. I MAY BE SCARED BUT I AM STILL MIGHTY!

Keep reading

Vow

*swamped with homework and feelings and managed to shell this out a month late…I’m a mess™*

Request:  Hii can i have a drabble thingy game with jimin?TY😙😉 12,23 by  rebelliousjvmin

Word Count: 8.6k

Originally posted by bwipsul

He’s a literal angel


You were immersed in a deep sleep, tired from working on a large project that was worth half your grade. In you attempt to disconnect from the world around and sleep peacefully, you blocked out the sounds and all touch with reality. The sudden dip in your bed didn’t bother you, the presence of another body and an arm haphazardly wrapping around you, these were things you were blocking out. Until you felt a finger on your cheek.

“Hey, roomie.”

“I hate you.”

“You know you love me.”

“Kiss my ass, Jimin.” You used to think you were lucky to be paired up with your best friend in the dorms of your university. Until you realized he was a clingy, sassy and messy guy that never failed to annoy you. His leisure attitude towards school was opposite to your dedication to reading every word of your textbook. He was a jock, baseball being the reason he was here in your room and cheekily smiling at you.  

“I wouldn’t mind doing that.” You whacked him in the face with your pillow, wanting him to leave your room but he instead pulled you closer against his chest.

“Let go of me, you pervert.”

“You told me to kiss your ass, now…”

“I swear to god, Jimin, I’ll suffocate you in your sleep.”

“Kinky. I always wanted to test out breath play.”

Keep reading

Just a movie, babe (S.M. smut)

A/N: Okay i actually got myself aroused while writing oh my gawd! its smutty as fuck. ENJOY!


Shawn’s P.O.V.

I unlock the door and open it, and before I can even get a foot in the door I hear Y/n’s voice yelling.

“Shawn! oh thank god” not a second later i see her running towards the door…towards me terror on her face. I drop my jacket and keys so she can run into my arms. “WHAT! Whats the matter babe!?” I ask, panic in my voice. She wraps her arms around my neck and hold her tighter than i’ve ever held anything in my life. 

“I just watched that movie with that psycho hockey player!” she cried out….her face is still hidden my neck but I let go of her waist. My facial expression instantly changes from anxious to blank. 

“Friday the 13th” I correct her. 

“yeaaah. oh my god i’m so glad you’re home Shawnie i was so scared here alone” she whimpers. “get off of me” I chuckle, backing away from her and picking up the items I dropped a second ago. 

“what? nooo you’re suppose to protect me!” she gasped. “From…Netflix? its just a movie babe” I shake my head and make my way the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. “for a second there i thought you were a good boyfriend” she pouts while locking the door and walking into the kitchen after me. I look down at her and she rolls her eyes, taking the water bottle from my hands and drinking a sip. “For a second there i thought you were actually in danger. And would a bad boyfriend let you steal their water?” I smirk before taking the bottle back. I take a sip but almost spill some on myself when pokes me in the side.

“jerk! id like to see you sit through a scary movie without feeling the least bit paranoid” she challenged.

“Let’s watch one tonight then”

“Hell no! i’m already freake-”

“I’m here now so I wont let a hockey player or anyone else get my girl” I know she loves it when I call her that. I see her fighting back the smile it always causes. “okay fine but i swear to god if you try to scare me later on i’m going to strangle you” she squints her eyes to try and intimidate me but all it does is make it even harder for me to take her serious. She so short and doe eyed, its really hard for me to be scared of her. 

45 minutes later

“Shawn you’re supposed to be watching this” she giggled pushing my hand away from her thigh. “Id rather be doing this though” I smirk, moving my hand back to her leg and leaving a wet kiss on her collarbone. She sighs with a smile and crosses her arms. “i shouldn’t let you even sit on the same couch as me considering you told me to get off of you earlier” she teased

“haha y/n” I started “but remember what happened before that?”

“You were holding me?” she guessed, looking over at me.

“Yeah. I thought something was wrong and that-….I don’t know” I ran a hand through my hair, reliving that moment when my heart felt like it was going to explode from how fast it was beating.

What would you have done if there was a real killer in here?” she questioned. 

“I usually say violence isn’t the answer but I guess i’d have to kill him” I laugh. I see her eyes turn a bit darker and she took a deep breath. “….did that turn you on or something?” I joke. She doesn’t verbally answer but she guides my hand back to her thigh, and then further up to one of my favorite places on her body. I start rubbing her thought her pajama shorts and judging by how soft she feels right now, i’m one hundred percent positive she isn’t wearing panties. 

She bites her lip and whimpers while pressing my hand harder into her. With her other hand she pulls her shorts to the side and waits for me to do the rest. I rub for a few more seconds to make sure she’s absolutely dripping for me.

I finally have her where I want her and by now she’s almost at her peak. I take two of my fingers and wet them in my mouth before sliding them inside her. Her mouth is hanging open, a look of disbelief on her face. “sh- shawaann” she gasped. I shake my head “I know I know, that was really dirty” I chuckle, still pumping in and out of her.

 “mmm baby you..you’ve never done that…that was h-hot” she struggled through her moans. “fuck” I grunt before pulling away from her and undoing my belt and zipper quicker than I ever have before. Without me having to tell her, she swung a leg over me and pulled her shorts to the side once again. She pulls my hard-on out of my boxers and runs her thumb over the head of it. 

“aahh baby..fuck ride me” I groan

She sinks down on me, the material of her shorts are out of the way but still add some friction every time she comes back down. Her hands find my hair and I can feel my climax building with every stroke. My hands grip her ass and i help move her up and down. “nnh shawnie right there..” she whimpers. I guide her face to my neck and she begins nibbling at my jaw line. She picks up the pace for a second before pulling me out almost all the way. She’s teasing me

“ don’t you fucking stop y/n” I growl in her ear. She starts to grind again but this time, she starts to lose her rhythm. She’s close, so am I.

“i’m almost there baby oooh fuck…yes” she nods at me and i’m assuming she feels the same. Just when I feel her clench around me, I lose it. I throw my head back and squeeze her ass just enough to make her really feel it.

  I’m moaning out her name along with a list of profanities, she’s riding out her high and when I glance down I can see her biting on her finger. I could cum again just watching her. My breathing evens out and even though we’ve both finished, she’s still slowly grinding on me. She leans forward and kisses me with so much passion, it makes me smile. 

I just love her so much.

I grab her waist to stop her movements because my dick is way too sensitive right now. “another go?” she chirps. “give me like 20 minutes babe”

We laugh and she pulls herself off of me, shifting her attention to the tv to catch the last scene of that damn movie.