i watch it way too many times

The beginning - Part 3

J a c k
 W o u l d  H a v e
    K n o w n 


One thing I really wanted was to see adventurers and I knew exactly where to go in order to watch them. The only problem was that I didn’t know how to find the place where I needed to go… for some reason taverns and inns all look like houses and shops. At least make an effort not to build everything the same! I had to search through many villages along the shore, feeling more impatient and irritated that I didn’t find what I was looking for and Jibbs was not helping at all. She was reluctant to fly most of the time and preferred hopping on the grass and taking way too many naps a day for way too long. She was driving me crazy and I was doing the same to her, forced as I was to steal her pebble if I wanted her large feathery butt to go anywhere. You’d think sleeping from sunset to sunrise would have been enough, but no. I think I understand now why Siisa and Moltai were so angry at me when I ran away from my daily chores. Someone who refuses to do what you want them to when it’s important that they do it is infuriating.

So as I was saying, following weeks of walking more than flying (my feet were oh so sore) I finally learned that the difference between common housing and shops were in their sign. Unlike the shops, houses have small letters on the mailbox or the fence to know which is which (except for the ones that do have big signs and I was very confused then). After making my way into more than a few wrong places, finally I found an inn which I entered through a small hole in the gutter. Jibbs was too large to fit and waited outside. Which was fortunate because the hole gave right into the kitchen, of all things. It was perfect for me, with plenty of places to hide. The door to the dining room was cut in half, too, so it was easy to fly there when nobody was looking.

I don’t understand though what use there is for only half a door.

It took many days, and at some point I stopped counting, before an adventurer walked in. I still remember. He had hair the colour of wheat and he carried with him the smell of sea salt. His clothes were dripping with water, too, but it was not raining. He was talking a lot, and laughing a lot, but what struck me the most was the color of his eyes. I had never seen a human with eyes of gold and I still haven’t seen another one of those afterwards. I heard him say he was waiting for his crew, and he stayed a few days. Every evening he sat with what I can only guess were strangers to him, and he talked with them for hours. I loved listening to his adventures, and I’d always find a spot to sit as near to him as possible. The ceiling beams were very useful to run across the whole dining area. He, too, seemed to be one of those people who ate maps for breakfast; he sounded like he knew the whole world like the back of his hand. Oh, and he had a bird too. A ginormous white pelican who sometimes stuck its head through the dining room’s window looking for him. It took two or three men to push his large, dumb looking face out of the inn and the adventurer kept saying the bird was not with him but clearly, it was. It followed him everywhere whenever he went looking for his crew (I watched them from where I sat on the rooftops with Jibbs). I didn’t know there were pelicans big enough for a human to sit on their back.

He told stories better than Jack, like he was born to do that and I decided I’d tell stories better than him. Sadly, his crew joined him the next week and he left with them the day after. I never saw him again. Maybe the pelican ate him…

That very same night, a group of young men with a similar gait came into the inn.

I couldn’t help but to wonder what was hidden in their hip bags. They were much bigger than what I had seen on any other people I watched. Maybe they were what they call nobles, I thought. Maybe they were rich. They carried weapons with them and what better need would there be than to protect their goods? Luck was on my side: they put silver coins on the counter and asked to stay for the night. I followed them across the dining room, sticking near the ceiling. In the hallway I was in the open but humans rarely pay attention to what is above their eye level. I took a chance. The door closed right in front of me.

“Owl farts!” I cussed and I think they heard me because the door opened immediately and they nearly caught sight of me. The head that popped out of the room looked right and left. When they closed the door again, I approached to eavesdrop. They sounded excited about something. I just had to see what it was about.

I waited for the innkeeper to announce mealtime. In the evening, there often was one or two musicians trading a few drops of ale and a plate of whatever food was left for entertainment. That should give me all the time I wanted in the nobles’ room to look through their things and satisfy my curiosity. They would stuff their faces with strange fish and drink themselves under the table while I’d do what I do best.

Crawling under the door was in itself quite the adventure. Old wood tend to make splinters and those splinters snagged my clothes. I had to be more careful than I had ever been so not to hurt myself. You know how mice and rats squish themselves to fit in tight spaces? Yeah well fairies can’t do that. Once or twice I thought I would never see the end of it, especially when large splinters tugged at my shirt and pants at the same time.

‘At this rate, once I get out from under here I’ll be naked.’ Is what I thought.

On the other side, surprisingly with all my clothes still on, the floor was littered with weapons of all sizes, smelly wet socks and leather coats. I avoided the socks and walked on the coats alongside a well-worn lance. One of them had so many pockets inside and out I stopped counting after the tenth one. Just how many spaces did a noble need to put things in? Besides, some of those things could have easily been left back home. Like those round shiny iron beads and what I thought was a bizarre kind of pepper. The money I understood was necessary to keep, though I didn’t get why they had to divide it into so many pockets. Same about the armfuls of white pearls I found. There were a few papers as well, on which something was written but I couldn’t read it. I did however understand the numbers at the end of each line (numbers may be the only thing we have in common). I thought at first it might be for keeping track of what they owned and they had to be rich, because those were big numbers. They possessed many things in many exemplars.

I know what you’re thinking: I was completely wrong about this.

They were as far from what I understood was a noble as could be. But I heard from Jack about nobles before, you know. Nobles, they fancy nice clothes, colours and point lace but he also told me they sometimes wore simpler clothes that blend in the masses. So it’s only when I found holes on all of their coats that I thought… a noble would have bought a new one, yes? That’s when I realized for myself that they were thieves. Because they were still rich. See, the adventurer I had seen the days before was not carrying anything more than a bottle of ink, a moleskin notebook and a handful of money in his sash. Adventurers are poor by definition.

“My very first encounter with thieves!” I smiled, remembering more of comrade’s stories and playing with a huge diamond ring that would easily fit on my head like a crown. In the same pocket I had found a jewel necklace large enough for me to wear like a dress. Leaving these two treasures behind, my interest quickly switched to something that was left on the nightstand. A little round contraption that started moving as soon as I touched it. I thought it was metal at first, but it bended and danced and morphed and when it stopped, I heard a voice inside my head.

Clean.

“What, you want me to polish you or something?” I asked dumbfounded. I had heard about artifacts but I didn’t know they could speak to you like they were people. The object started moving again, even faster than it was before. If it wanted to be cleaned, it would have to stop doing that. I searched around for something to rub it with and came back with a pure white satin glove.

Cursed.

 

The door opened and I jumped in surprise, dropped the glove and knocked the object off the nightstand. I didn’t hear it land: the thieves, back way sooner than I expected, expressed their shock in a loud and unanimous voice. As I told you before, humans don’t like the fairies. It’s out of fear, according to Jack, and they either run or fight. I tried to make them run. The magic object I was playing with the moment before had given me an idea.

“I will curse you!” I aimed to look as menacing as possible and stretched my wings wide, trying to get a ray of sun to shine on them. It normally makes a predator think twice before approaching.

“Tough luck, I’m already cursed! If anything ya gonna make it better!”

One more bad idea to add to the list of all the bad ideas I ever had before. Like that time when I fed an injured blueberry kiwi bird a handful of fresh peppers… You know how they already burst if they so little as catch the rising sun before reaching their nest? Imagine feeding them something hot. It took me two days to dig my way out of its blasted hole and it took it three weeks to grow back its feathers and its beak.

Back to the story: The thief who answered to my threats, the cursed one, walked in first. He was shorter than his friends and he looked cleaner as well. He didn’t seem cursed at all, from the outside. For a human, he looked good. Or maybe I just like red heads no matter the species… The three others followed and closed the door behind them before I could do anything to get out. They cracked their fingers. I did the same.

Cursed.

“So what’s it gonna be? A twenty feet long beard? Or maybe a biting plant in your pants? I can also call a thousand crows on your sorry heads and you’ll never hear the end of it.” My threats still didn’t look like they gave them anything to worry for. Where was the ‘humans are afraid of fairies’ I heard so much about?

Were they really scared of me, they wouldn’t have tried to catch me like an insect. I flew up and stuck to the ceiling, trying to remain out of reach, but it was too low to give me safety. They trapped me like a bird, except that they traded the net for a coat and I dropped to the floor like a rock. Swift, I crawled under the heavy leather, fingers crossed that they wouldn’t step on me with their big stupid feet and hoping to find refuge under the beds. The small man grabbed me by the waist the moment I popped out from under the coat. I bit him and tried for the window: it was locked. I spun on my feet to face the thieves, backing against the cold glass and I raised both hands like I was about to do a complicated magic trick.

We don’t even need to do that for the magic to work but I thought it worked well to intimidate someone. Except it didn’t.

“Enough! I am done playing with you!” I should have asked Jack what threats he came up with to get rid of people like them.

Cursed.

“Who’s playing with who? I believe, my sweet little lady, that you are the toy here.”

“And we been bored long enough trying to find a bloody cure to the boss’s curse,” smiled the tallest of them three putting the magic trinket back on the nightstand “that we might as well have a bit of fun wit’cha.”

 

He had a thin pointy face and small, mean eyes. If he wasn’t afraid of me, I on the other hand was very much afraid of him. His clothes made him look even longer than he really was. Like a tower. A pointy, mean looking tower.

“Don’t meet a damn fairy every day, after all.”

“And see, the thing with fairies like you…” I heard the small man’s voice right behind me as I ran along the window ledge “… is that you are quite fragile.”

Dearest Jane Fans –

I want to begin this letter by telling you about the magic of Brett Dier.  He took a character – built from the beginning with secrets and moral lapses – and made him so likable, so funny, so sincere in all the right ways, that most of our writers’ room became #teammichael by the end of the first season.  And I honestly don’t think I’ll ever love a moment on our show as much as I loved Michael’s vows to Jane…  Which is to say, this was a devastating episode for us to write.

It was also a decision made very early on, when I thought about our story as a whole.  And even in season one, I knew it would be a hard thing to actually do, which is why there was a line (which many of you noticed) about how Michael would never stop loving Jane.  And the Narrator confirmed, “For as long as Michael lived, until he drew his very last breath, he never did.”  Honestly, I put that line into the script at the last minute to hold our feet to the fire, to make sure we went through with it.  Because even back then, the writers could all see the magic of Jane and Michael together.  Not to mention Rogelio and Michael!    

The other reason I put that line in the script was to prepare you… a little.  If the writers and actors loved Michael so much, then I knew it would be devastating for the fans.  So then, the only surprise we had left, was when…

And again – that goes back to the magic of Brett Dier.  Originally, I thought Michael would die earlier.  But Brett is such an incredible actor – he gave us such great comedy and drama and first-rate exposition delivery (!), often all in one scene.  And he and Gina… well, there’s that word again – magic.  So, we changed some things in the writers’ room.  Jane and Michael got married.  They had sex. They moved into their first home. And I’m so glad we did that and I’m so glad all those firsts for Jane were with Michael.  But this is a telenovela, as we so frequently remind you.  And we are only at our midpoint.

You’ll recall, back in the pilot, Jane was on a path.  Things were mapped out.  And then she was accidentally artificially inseminated and everything changed.  Well now, everything is changing again.  How does our romance-loving hero move on, how does she get back the light and the hope…?

Well, it’s certainly not quick.  And that’s why we’re now three years later in our story.  We’ll be flashing back to those three years and filling in gaps, but mining emotions realistically is something we work hard on and we knew the immediate pain of that loss would overwhelm our storytelling.  After talking to grief counselors, this felt like the right time to reenter Jane’s journey.  She’ll always feel Michael’s absence (and trust me, we will too), but it opens up our storytelling in new and exciting ways, while allowing for the light and bright Jane world that we love to write.  

Which brings me to something I feel really badly about.  The timing.  I’ve had so many tweets lately about how Jane is a bright spot these days. And I know you just watched a gut punch of an episode.  So, I just wanted to reassure you that Jane’s optimism will rise up.

Thank you guys so much for watching the show, for caring so passionately, and for going on our journey. And thank you so much to Brett. For his talent.  His passion.  His humor on set.  Michael will be missed in Jane’s world, just as Brett is already missed in ours.  

With love,

Jennie Urman

Yuri on Ice 2017/02/11 all night event report

I’m back from the event and I’ll write a report before going to sleep, mostly because I’m sure I will not be able to decipher my scribbles when I wake up… It’s not the full talk show since you can’t record it and also I couldn’t possibly write down everything, but I tried to take note of most things, especially stuff that has never been mentioned elsewhere. In the end it became quite long so I guess I was able to get most of the stuff down…

Needless to say it’s my notes, so other people might write about parts I omitted, etc. To be honest quite a few of the things they said especially in the beginning, like what the seiyuu think about their characters, is something I’ve read so many times in interviews that I could almost answer in their place, lol… I was a bit disappointed that one of the questions that was answered is the one about Chris’ mysterious acquaintance, because actually Kubo answered that in Pash already (it’s in the Q&A part I’ll be translating later), and I hoped they would feature questions about stuff that hasn’t been explained yet. Well I guess not everybody reads interviews, but still…

Due to the format of the report you can find my comments here and there, mostly in brackets.
Under the cut because it’s long.

I forgot to mention something important: the ones participating in the talk show were Mitsurou Kubo, Toshiyuki Toyonaga (Yuuri), Junichi Suwabe (Victor), Kouki Uchiyama (Yurio).

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so i saw sing the other day and it was so good and pure ?! the characters are relatable and all so lovable ,, i’d really recommend seeing it ! (i cried way too many times)

anywAY i had these human design things stuck in my head after watching

Hormones

Hiyaaaaaaaaaaaaa… I did it! Finally managed to finish this one! Thank you for everyone who enjoyed the preview, I really hope you buys enjoy the full thing. Please let me know what you thought of it! Lots of love, B xx

***

Originally posted by grabiajulia

Hormones.

They’re funny little things. 

Sometimes they take over your body and make you do things that you wouldn’t ever do if it weren’t for the obscene amount of hormones coursing through your bloodstream - you’d never eat a plate full of pasta and a whole chocolate bar right after or cry at the butter commercial cause that family looks just so damn happy that they have their butter and each other… And you would not, under any circumstances, be thinking about how much you want your friend to fuck you into oblivion if it weren’t for the hormones.

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Far too young to die

Request by @mr-robot-x : How would Jeff react when the reader dies in the accident instead of him. Clay and Justin support him.

A/N: I really enjoyed writing this, i listened to soooo many sad songs while writing this and idek how many times i watched my baby Jeff’s death scene and cried. Two of my friends read this and they cried. WE NEED TO PROTECT MY BABY, HE IS TOO PURE FOR THIS CRUEL WORLD

PLAYLIST

  • Saturn - Sleeping at last
  • If I die young - The band perry (iconic song in my opinion)
  • My immortal - Evanescence
  • People help the people - Birdy
  • Moments - One Direction 
  • The whole playlist for 13rw


Jeff’s POV

It was never supposed to happen this way. It should have been me! If that stupid stop sign wasn’t down and if I wasn’t drunk maybe things wouldn’t have ended this way.

*flashback* Y/N POV

As you got ready for the first party of the year, settling on a black romper and flats, you get a text from Jeff.

”be there by 20:30 x”

As you finished doing your hair, you heard your parents and who you presumed to be Jeff. As you walked into the kitchen it was as if he could sense your presence because he turned to you and flashed you a smile that was reserved only for you. You stood next to him and he wrapped his arm around your waist and pressed a loving kiss on your forehead. The drive to Jessica’s house was in a comfortable silence, with you humming to the tune of whatever song was on the radio and Jeff focusing on the road and having his hand resting on your leg.

You both stayed together for the duration of the party, as usual. You decided it was best that you not drink seeing that Jeff decided to play beer pong and someone will have to be the designated driver. You saw Clay and Hannah together and it looked like things were going well. Anyone could see that they liked each other if you paid enough attention. It seemed like the two were just waiting for the other to make the first move. Jeff was really doing a good deed by helping Clay, and from what you’ve heard, Hannah deserves happiness after everything the people at this school has put her through.

It was getting late, so you decided it be best that you and Jeff leave before he gets too drunk, knowing that he will regret it tomorrow morning. As you drove, Jeff filled the silence, “We should go for breakfast tomorrow”, he spoke. You smiled at him, “How about lunch? I don’t think your hangover is going to let you leave bed before 10″, you looked at him and laughed. But you were cut short by the sound of screeching tyres and crash, and everything suddenly went black.

You could hear a voice scream your name, no wait two voices. “y/n wake up, baby please just move, open your eyes. Do something so i know you’re okay please.” Jeff. “Jeff we have to get you out!” said the second voice. “NO! She needs to be okay Clay!” Clay, it’s Clay. You tried, you really tried to move but it was like you were stuck in cement. You wanted to just wrap your arms around Jeff and tell him that everything was going to be okay. That’s when you heard the sirens, the ambulance, Jeff still calling out your name. It pained you to hear him call and you not being able to do anything. It all sounded so distant, it sounded like it was happening miles away from the place you were. But what you heard next didn’t feel distant, it felt like it was being screamed into your ear. “Driver, female, late teens, time of death: 00:26.″

*present* Jeff’s POV

It’s been three days. Three days since I lost her. As I walk into school, everyone looks at me with sympathy and there’s road safety posters plastered everywhere. Are you fucking kidding me? “follow the rules of the road”, “road safety isn’t a joke.” Maybe if the fucking stop sign was up she would still be here. 

“Jeff, wait up”

“Clay, uh-hi”

“I’m not gonna ask how you’re holding up, but you’re my friend and I need to know if you’re gonna be okay at school.”

“I don’t know anymore, there was this part of me hoping she would be there waiting at my locker like she usually does, standing there with open arms ready to tell me it was all a nightmare and that she wouldn’t leave me.”

“Hey listen, everything becomes too much, just tell me and we can put our lessons on hold.”

“No, no don’t do that. She believed in me Clay, she always believed I would would get my grades up and play again and I can at least do that for her.”

“Jeff you know I’m always gonna be here okay? Just don’t do anything you’ll regret, just talk to me okay?”

“yeah thanks Clay”

*2 months later*

She would be proud, y/n would be proud. I got my grades up and coach is going to let me play again. I just wish she was her to see this. “And now stepping up to the plate, Liberty High’s golden boy has returned, Jeff Atkins!”

As I walked onto the field I felt like everything was coming together. I took my position, ready to use all my built up anger and frustration and hit the ball. That’s when I heard it, I looked into the crowd to see where that voice came from but no one was there. I shook it off and got into position again, then there she was, the biggest smile and cheering me on from “her spot” in the crowd and i froze, the bat falling to my feet as i stood there staring at the place she would always stand during my games.

“Jeff! hey man what happened? you good?” someone said as they placed their hand on my shoulder, forcing me to move my gaze from the crowd. “She was there, I heard her voice and I thought I saw her Justin.” “Jeff she’s not there, I’m sorry.” “She was always at my games, she wouldn’t miss any of them. She was my lucky charm.” “Jeff there’s something you need to know about the night of the accident. I-uh Hannah said something after she died, but I can’t say anything. Sheri is the only one who can tell you what really happened that night….”


TAGS: @mr-robot-x @fandoms-allovertheplace @beckybadgirl @loisfrost @homicidal-lemon @interstellarirwin @lowkeyprincipessa @mouray7

interviewer asked if i thought mario was handsome. he had a mustache so i had to say yes. right? i had to say yes. saying yes was calculated. saying yes was the smart move. 

“hell yeah,” i said. the room was spinning. 
“i’d fuck the shit out of mario. i’d let him do things to me that weren’t even legal.”
i was overdoing it now but i couldn’t stop. although my mouth was forming words that were coherent, albeit a bit vulgar, the inside of my head was screaming. my mouth was so dry. i needed to stop now.

“i want the pipe.” 

he tried to interrupt then. he’d clearly had enough, but i knew that, at that point, i had to keep going. continuing was calculated. continuing was the smart move. 

“i want mario to rip me apart. i want him to blend both of my livers and make me drink it. i want him to freeze his semen into an icicle and stab me thousands and thousands of times.”

he told me to stop then. he didn’t so much say it as yell it, which i personally thought was incredibly rude. you don’t yell during an interview. none of the interview youtube videos i’d watched had mentioned any yelling. i wanted to point it out but he seemed a bit agitated, so i made a mental note to send him a polite email after i’d gotten the job. 

“that’s quite enough.”
at least he was using his inside voice now. 

“peach who?” i said, my voice barely above a whisper. my mouth felt as if it were on fire. i needed water. 

“excuse me?”

“peach who” i croaked. 
“that’s what mario’s going to say after i–”
suddenly i began coughing. maybe even dry heaving a little, but he didn’t have to know that.
“–after i fuck his brains out.” i finished. 

turns out mario was his son. i must’ve glanced at the family beach photo on his desk one too many times, but only because i was trying to figure out how one man could be so bald. he must have waxed his head. he had to. no human head reflected direct sunlight with such boldness. 

he began to talk about how there currently wasn’t a position open. i’d watched enough videos to know that was interview talk. it meant i wasn’t getting hired. i had to think fast. maybe there was still a way i could spin this. if i couldn’t attack from outside, maybe i could still infiltrate from within.

“that’s too bad. but maybe you could tell mario to give me a call sometime?”

he called security.

excuses ive heard from people who did not want to watch the get down
  • idk, the plot looks boring –> it’s about ambitious young people who try to find a place in the society they were thrown into and i think anyone can relate to it
  • i watch too many shows! –> bruh, the first part of the season is only 6 episodes. i’m sure you can plan it in you schedule
  • i don’t know about hip hop or disco! –> me neither and it did not stop me from understanding the plot!
  • i don’t like musicals! –> it’s not Les Misérables, there is only like 4 major scenes where the characters sing/rap and it’s not corny in any way - it makes sense and the songs are hella catchy and amazing

so time to wake up y’all! part 2 is dropping on April 7th! just give it a try, i swear you’re gonna love it 

there are so many things I hate about the reasonings that are usually given for why Kara wouldn’t tell Lena she’s supergirl which are mostly just “I wanted to protect you!”
actual reasons I’d prefer:

- I was scared you’d think I was trying to trick you or watch you, and by the time we were close enough it felt too late to tell you.

-at this point everyone I’m close to knows me as Supergirl, and they look at me differently because of it. I’m terrified of you seeing me differently.

-no one has ever looked at me as Kara the way you do. People only look that way at Supergirl, but not you. You think I’m worthwhile without the cape on.

-I don’t want to lose you, I’m so scared of losing you.

I have just finished binge watching “13 Reasons Why” and if you have no idea what I am talking about, this post might not make much sense to you. So, if you have not, I highly recommend you stop everything that you are doing and go watch the series for yourself. 

If you have, then here we are. We have both witnessed what was waiting at the end of tape number thirteen. Some of you may not agree with or like the outcome that the show brought, and some of you will. I am not here to dispute any of your feelings.

I am here to say this: Hannah Baker is so important. Not because she is the main character of the show. No, it’s something much deeper than that. Unless you have been placed in the same pair of treacherous shoes that you are forced to walk day in and day out, you might not understand where I am coming from.

I am not here to talk about the tapes, and I am not here to discuss whether her actions were right or wrong. I am here to talk about Hannah Baker’s last day on earth. 

As I watched “Tape 7, Side A” I could feel my stomach churn with every flashback of her final moments in Crestmont. I could feel my heart break with her vocalized hope of “giving life one more chance,” even though it was still causing her pain on the inside.

When she sought out the one person who was supposed to be able to provide answers, pushing through the torture of speaking the honest truth and praying for that person to take the reins and bring everything to a pause only for them to make her feel worse than she did going into the conversation. How she stood outside the door, hoping that someone would come after her and take control of the situation but they never did.

How she straightens up her room so she is no longer an inconvenience to her family whom she does not want to upset anymore. When looking in the mirror for the last time and not being about to cry because her body is exhausted from fighting against the storm, having no reaction or attachment to the image staring back. Holding the razor blade in between her fingertips and knowing what she is doing is wrong, but having it be the only option left because every other cry for help has been silenced or overlooked.

And last but not least, the silence that she has been desperately longing for but hating at the same time, filling the room once she has made the deep cuts to her veins.

This episode isn’t fiction. You should consider it a biography. While the people go about their lives living just another day, I have experienced this side of Hannah’s tape far too many times to keep count. Feeling completely numb inside because you already prepared yourself for no one to do a goddamn thing to truly help you, all while mentally scolding yourself for even entertaining the idea of a “chance” in the first place.

Hannah Baker is important because she is just like me. She’s the girl who’s place I’ve stood several times in my life. She’s the girl that I identify with way too much still to this day. When I first watched this scene, I couldn’t breathe. I was nauseous and wanted to skip ahead, but something in my head told me no. That I couldn’t because this was what the twelve episodes before had led up to.

For someone who has previously attempted suicide, I think the show did an incredible job of capturing the final moments of someone’s life and bringing awareness. It’s almost refreshing because, for a very long time, there has been nothing that deals with suicide, rape, etc. blow up in such a “trending” way. The show does not make the situation more light-hearted by having the person be rescued five seconds after making their final decision.  

It was raw.  It was real.

I once publicly posted about my decision to check myself into a mental hospital to seek help for my high-depression after almost driving myself off the interstate and nearly slitting my wrist open all in one night. And I desperately wish I could say it was a success story and I’ve never thought about harming myself again. The truth is, the people who worked at the facility never followed up, and when I personally called seeking more information and help, they never returned my phone calls. The truth is there is not a day that goes by that I do not think about it once. I don’t think it’s something that ever really goes away. 

But I think the worst part about the situation was that many people in my close circle knew from gossiping lips and had the “bless her heart” effect. No one wanted to talk about it. No one asked questions. They just accepted the fact that I wanted to end my life and went on about their business. It seemed like these people in my circle truly believed that talking about suicide would make it happen. And that they were here for me, but only at arms’ length.

This post is not meant to scare you away from viewing the show. It’s not meant for you to have negative thoughts about it either. The show has many layers, Hannah’s suicide just being one of them. There are backstories and evolving characters that guide you through an eye-opening journey through discovering the truth. A real life look into some of the issues throughout schools across the world, and how little things can still have a tremendous effect on someone.

The show is meant to educate. To call for action before something like this happens again. To stop the only efforts for change being posters that say “don’t kill yourself” and start an actual and purposeful conversation. Suicide is such a taboo subject, yet it is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. Every day, approximately 105 people take their own life. Every thirteen minutes, someone chooses Hannah Baker’s ending.

Over the past few days since the release of the series, there have been many posts in the media claiming that “13 Reasons Why” romanticized suicide and that Hannah Baker is a selfish, self-centered teenager. And sure, people have every right to think that. But through my countless hours scrolling through the tags on social media platforms, it’s comforting knowing that I am not the only mentally-ill person who gives this show a thumbs up.

I guess my plea here is simple. Do not go into the show with preconceived notions that this show is “messed up” and unrealistic. Be aware of trigger warnings at the beginning of episodes and make a judgment call on whether or not you personally can handle a scene. Please keep in mind this scene is how it sometimes goes for some people and is important to some. 

And the last thing on my soapbox, there are so many Hannah Baker’s in the world who need your compassion more than your urgency to get finished with the conversation so that you are able to move on. Don’t be afraid to talk about suicide. You never know who is needing you to speak up the most. 

anonymous asked:

ok so this is probably stupid but: how do i avoid confusion (with pronouns and stuff) when writing a scene with two characters of the same gender? i'm trying to write a romantic bit with two girls and it's always "she said" "she replied" "she smiled" etc and it gets confusing even for me lol. thanks a lot!!!💖

Not stupid at all! This is a problem I have too because I don’t want to keep using their names!

The trick, I’ve found is variety. There are three main ways to establish who’s talking to who!

1. Body Language/direction! The lovely thing about writing two characters in close contact is that you get to use their placement as identifiers!

She slid her hands into the other woman’s hair.  “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” she said. Her hands found the edge of a shirt and slipped underneath to bare skin. “So much.”

She drew her head to her shoulder, fingers still rubbing over the silky strands. The fingers at her back were tracing the scars there, sending pleasant shivers up her spine. “We won’t have to be apart again. Ever again.”

It’s still a little muddy (partly from not having named them before this example), but I’ve given each woman a clear action. One has her hands in the other’s hair, the other has her hands on the other’s back. Be careful to put the action WITH the person doing it. If Character A is petting someone’s hair AND speaking, those go in the same paragraph. As soon as Character B does anything, that’s a new paragraph.

Action goes with dialogue, that’s a key rule to avoid confusion!

2. Limited Point of View: There are two types of third person POV (he said/she said) that I work with: limited and omniscient. When you want to use pronouns instead of names, it’s much easier to use limited since, at that point, the other characters are defined by how one character perceives them. It means that there is one “main character” and one “main character’s [blank\].” For example:

She slid her hands into her lover’s hair. “I missed you.”

Her lover wrapped her arms around her, relief plainly written on her face. “I missed you too. So much.”

She knew that she must look just as relieved as the other woman. She welcomed the skin contact and drew her lover closer. “We won’t have to be apart. Ever again.”

This helps the reader “tune in” to what’s happening through one character’s eyes. They know what Character A is feeling/thinking/seeing, so they know that any “she” they’re commenting on is not the “main character.”

3. Repeated Description. This one is useful, but use it sparingly! Readers don’t like things repeated too often because it makes your work drag. Think of repeated description as a rule of three– if you use it more than three times in scene for one character, it’s probably too many times.

Green eyes traced over warm, flushed skin and her hands moved to caress the dark hair of the woman in front of her. “I missed you.”

The dark-haired woman wrapped her arms around the other, her own hands worming their way past cloth to feel bare skin. She watched green eyes droop with pleasure and relief. She began to trace the scars under her palms. “I missed you too. So much.”

“We won’t have to be apart,” she promised. Her green eyes slid shut as she drew the dark-haired woman forward to rest against her shoulder. “Ever again.”

The benefit to repeated description? It sounds way more romance-y. The downsides to repeated description? At some point your readers begin to shout “We know she has dark hair! Her eyes are green! We get it!” So use it responsibly.


So here are the three main ways I try to differentiate characters! Let me know if you have any questions :) 

Okay, so here’s a little somthing I noticed in my latest watch-through of Princess and the Frog:

In the song “Friends on the Other Side”, Dr. Facilier reads the tarot fortunes of Naveen and Lawrence. Out of the six cards shown (eight if you count cards changing) five of them have numbers on the top. In the tarot, these numbers indicate the card’s meaning, and if you look closely the cards actually foreshadow what’s about to happen in the movie.

First Card: Naveen’s personality

This card is the fifteenth arcana: The Devil. Meaning: Pettiness, Blindness,  that which is predestined but is not for this reason evil.

The card refers to Naveen’s nature (as we’ve already seen) being carefree and flirtatious. He’s inconsiderate, but not out of cruelty.

Second Card: Naveen being cut off

This card is the sixteenth arcana: The Tower. Meaning: Misery, Calamity, Tragedy.

This one is obvious. It’s the “great tragedy” of Naveen being cut off. Even though he rightfully deserved it, the card is appealing to Naveen’s perspective of the even being a sudden disaster.

Third Card: Naveen marrying Charlotte

This card is the ninth arcana: The Hermit. Meaning: Concealment, Disguise, Prudence.

This one depicts Naveen going through with marrying Charlotte, and the arcana explains what that entails for him. To marry her would mean Naveen must conceal his true nature to attain safety in finance, which is obviously what his character’s beginning conflict is.

Fourth Card: Naveen being given both wealth and freedom

This card is the most interesting because of the arcana used: The Fool. Meaning: Folly, Wavering, Carelessness.

This is the perfect arcana to use for this card, because this card is a lie. The image is a lure for Naveen to accept Dr. Facilier’s help, and it doesn’t show what the resulting spell really entails. The Fool is used because Naveen’s acceptance of the card’s promises is a mistake.

(On a separe, un-tarot-related note, the spotlight on Naveen is in the shape of a lilly pad. Cute, Disney.)

Fifth Card: Lawrence’s Tarot

The card is the tenth arcana: The Wheel of Fortune. Meaning: Elevation, Success, Unexpected Luck.

This is the only number used on any of Lawrence’s cards, but it’s the one that foreshadows the most. The card doesn’t indicate what’s happened to Lawrence, but what’s about to happen. It indicates “elevation” (Lawrence taking Naveen’s place and whooing Charlotte). The card, like Naveen’s, is meant to tempt Lawrence to Facilier’s side.

(All in all, these are just even more little reasons this movie and Disney in general is so genius. I mean, seriously, there’s so much detail!)

anonymous asked:

I haven't watch the new video yet give me the highlights em please

- phil got enraged the last time they played snipperclips and it was the angriest dan had ever seen phil like it was genuine rage

- together we can make the butt

- dan said friendship way too many times

- phil making obvious innuendos but dan not pointing them out and just having a cheesy grin

- they made a toucan and the way they say toucan is really weird wtfheck

- dan asking phil about his emotional state and checking on him throughout the video

- “if you play it with a best friend, or a… a family member

- if phil wasnt behaving for the gaming channel he would be throwing controllers according to dan

- “you murdered our child”

- some bro high fives

- “you get like an orgasm of problem solving when you do that”

- more talk about phil having to be on his best behavior for the gaming channel when in reality we all want him to go fucken wild and deck dan in the face

- illuminati

EXO Demon!AU Reaction to them all being destined to be with one girl

Xoxo, Admin A~

/I don’t own any of the gifs used, unless stated otherwise/


Chanyeol:

*Demons can love, but they happen to be more than unlucky, they happen to have lost their hope, yet they still love… love with everything they’ve got* “Maybe… you are what they call hope, we don’t know it… but we’ve heard of it. Maybe you are my salvation… maybe you are the one”

Kris:

*Some would call him a guardian, some would tell you to stay away, some would say to run away. But he is the one watching you in the distance, no matter how much you insist you want to be close. He’s too scared, scared you’ll end up leaving him too* “That’s the kind of life we demons have, but you are the only thing I can’t lose. I can’t survive it and I’m scared my own lack of luck will push you away”

Sehun:

*He’s the definition of mischief, he’s dangerous, he tempts you, he sneaks at night and watches you sleep. He disappears, makes you miss him while he tries to control his demon side and let you live your normal life. Yet he can’t stay away, the connection between you two is strong* “Even if I’m a demon, do you think I would be able to hurt you? You the one that has proven I have a heart? No matter what I do I can’t stay away and you can’t either. We always come back to each other”

Tao:

*He would sneak in your dreams, make it seem he’s just an illusion. He would watch you from the shadows yet never show you his face. He would be there but not. He’s a demon, he’s selfish and wants you all by himself but the love is too strong, he knows the’s too dark to be good for you* “Maybe… one day it’ll be possible… maybe one day I won’t be that scary… you want to meet me but are you really sure of what you are wishing? Do you know what my existence means?“

Kai:

*He would hide it, try to control his dark self. But the bad runs in his veins, he has that reputation at school. Yet he wouldn’t dare to hurt you, even if that means staying away. But he can’t, he can’t just sit and watch other people getting close when you, as strange as it is, are his soulmate* “No one… no one hurts her. Not even you, or me. Got it? She’s the only light a demon can have, she’s the only reason I haven’t fallen deeper in the abyss. She’s my soulmate and I will protect her”

Xiumin:

*It’s been centuries, it’s been so long since the last time he was awake. He was reckless, dangerous, feared. The rumor he finally woke up again spread fast, they all fear the chaos may come again. And it might, but there’s a reason for his awakening. Redemption, salvation, you.* “I felt it the moment she arrived to this world, I felt her heart beating just as if it were mine. In all my demon life, this is the first time I felt alive.”

Baekhyun:

*He’s that kind of boy that gives you chills, his gaze paralyzes you and tells you to run, run fast, run away. But he’s like a magnet too, he’s the mystery you always wanted to solve, he’s the reason you stay awake at night. Just to see him, see how he appears in front of your window taking all the light in his hands and watches you, watches you as if it were the last time he would see you.* “You want to know who I am, what I am. You want to show me that light can be used in many different ways, that the darkness doesn’t scare you. Do you know I love you, me a demon that can’t love? Would you believe it if I walk to your room and let you see me closely?”

Luhan:

*You are drawn to him, you can’t help ti. It’s like being thirsty, like your whole body is thirsty, your soul craves for him. And so is he, he’s feeling, finally feeling. But he’s scared, scared it would be too much to take in, too much for you* “for centuries I haven’t felt a thing, and suddenly this all comes in. It’s too strong, too strong to take it all in. What if… what if in my passion I mess it all? I create the chaos I once did… but this time you get caught in it?”

Chen:

*He’s a demon… yes he is one and you know. But he is also fighting his demons, literally. Once a demon has found redemption, once a demon has found that hope you give him, you and him become a target. A demon that feels, how could that be? You are a threat in their world, because his need to protect you, his strong love makes him even more dangerous* “I can’t leave your side, I can’t pretend I’m not drawn to you. But my love means you are in danger, my love means chaos. I don’t want that life for you, but is your choice to make… will you accept that we are soulmates?”

Kyungsoo:

*Doing everything in his power to have you is just the beginning. A love that is not supposed to exist, a love that is forbidden. He knows what it means, he knows it could be his end, or the beginning of a new life. He never felt warmth, never felt something similar to the need of his soul for you, never even imagine he would feel a thing at all.* “You changed it all, you changed the definition of demons, you changed the meaning of my life if it ever had one, you changed my existence. Who are you? Who am I? What are we? Soulmates? Even in this hell, there are things worth fighting for. Even after being stuck here for centuries, I can escape. All thanks to you, my love”

Lay:

*How can it be, that his beautiful existence is also so dark. How can it be that the light you see in his eyes is caused only by you. He had explained a million times and yet you can’t understand how he can be so scared of himself, how he calls himself a dark being. You were never scared, he was always a part of you, and no matter what his nature meant, you were meant to be together. Nothing can change that, nothing will set you apart* “this is the moment I can say that it all was worth the suffering, everything I had encounter during this long life was worth it, because at the end… I could finally find you, my heart.”

Suho:

*It was be hard, getting close to him. It was dangerous, making him show you his face. It was scary, knowing all the rumors, myths and legends were real. But it never made you run away, you couldn’t. Something inside told you to stay, to help his lonely soul. And the you understood, the reason behind demons’ nature. The lack of affection, the lack of love and light. It’s all because they don’t know what humans do, that there’s always someone for us* “You knew but I didn’t… I wandered on this world for so long without a purpose, questioning why I lived. Until I saw your eyes, it all made sense. Why I was so different from the other creatures in this planet, I didn’t know, I didn’t know someone was meant to be with me”

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