i wash my hands out of this

hearthawk  asked:

Any spooky stories?

My friends often remark that my house is haunted. I shrug it off because yeah sure whatever they’re just scared of my skull collection.

Well one night I was in bed and I swore that I saw a dark figure looking in from the hallway, resting its hand against the wall and just leaning in. It was right next to my little altar so I figured it wasn’t bad, or at least couldn’t actually do anything, so I forced myself to ignore it and rolled over and fell asleep.

The next day I notice a new smudge on my wall, like a grease stain, near where it was standing. I put my hand out over it, and the little smudges lined up perfectly in the shape of a hand- except a larger hand than mine, and higher up on the wall than I would have easily put there.

I was never able to wash it off. Sometimes Aster looks at it and jumps up over and over as if he’s trying to “catch” it and it weirds me out every freaking time.

my whiny ass older brother: i cant believe youre forcing me to do the dishes and taking out the trash! you should pay me to do this, im so inconvenienced fuck you mom

me, fucking Fed Up with this bullshit: oh im sorry i cant hear you over me cooking half the meals in this house and rubbing my mothers feet every other night for the last 10 years of my god damn life and going on all the shopping runs letting your ass stay home to watch youtube, god forbid you wash the seven bowls in the sink and take five minutes out of your day to clean up around this house!!!

anonymous asked:

i always wash my hands n my immune system is strong.. think about all the people that d i d touch thesomething n then touched the lock or the flusher ?

i haven’t died yet in 26 years of not washing my hands so i think i’m doing okay :/ like i wish i could say it grosses me out but it just doesn’t!! and i hate washing my hands unless i feel like they actually need to be washed

So, it hasn’t occurred to me that other autistic people might not know this, so I figured I’d make a post.

Shopping channel stuff.

If there’s household stuff that you struggle with, for whatever reason, you should probably check out the shopping channels.

A lot of the stuff advertised on those channels is designed for various disabilities, it’s just not advertised as such.

Like, I can’t really use sharp knives for cooking. I don’t have the fine motor skills to use them safely.

But my mum bought a Nicer Dicer from the shopping channel, and it completely removes any danger for me.

[image of the Nicer Dicer]

Of course, it pretty much can’t be hand-washed, and it’s big, so it’s a pain in the dishwasher, but if I can’t get pre-sliced veg, it’s great.

She just bought a new hoover as well that’s a lot more light-weight and maneuverable than the Dyson one we’ve got, and I can finally actually use it with my dyspraxic arms.

Plus it’s quieter, so my headphones block the noise better.

So, yeah, if there’s any household jobs that you really struggle with, there’s probably a shopping channel solution.

anonymous asked:

OMG WHAT IS THE CONTEXT OF THAT IT WAS A BIG LOAD QUOTE

lmaoo the interviewer was playing around and asked niall to “role play” that the guy was a father of a girl that was going out with niall on a date and how would niall explain the song, slow hands, to him. and niall said something like “well it was her that hit on me, so it wasnt my fault and so i asked if she wanted to come back and she said yes” and the guy was like “and then she asked to do laundry, how do you get sweaty doing laundry?” and niall said  “…..it was a big load” and then everyone started laughing and he realized what he said and was like “uh, big load of wash….it was a big load of washing…..” and everyone was cracking up and then he goes “yeah, that just happened…” and laughed lol he tried rEAL hard to save himself lol 

Writing Prompts - things my friends and I have actually said

1.       “Oh wow, I’m really gay.”

2.       “You are beneath me, SQUID!”

3.       “I’m really glad I’ve never had an anxiety disorder.”

4.       “Shut the hell up! I have depression!”

5.       “Wow, I’m glad [name] is asleep, otherwise they’d be really upset right now.”

6.       “You’re gay!? Woah! I never would have guessed.”

7.       “We’re going out to dinner. Have fun masturbating.”

8.       “I’m too ace for this shit.”

9.       “You know you don’t actually live there, [name].”

10.   “He’s lecturing! SCREAM!”

11.   “All hail Florence Nightingale, our lord and savior – hallowed be her name.”

12.   “To invoke her name, thou must wash thy tiny hands before the final”

13.   “Freud is bullshit and our theories are all obviously named.”

14.   “We were waiting on [name]’s Splatoon-loving ass.”

15.   “A plate! A plate! My kingdom for a plate!”

16.   “I’m at Cook Out because I make bad life decisions but whatever.”

17.   “Come to the kitchen in the next 30 minutes if you want an ass kicking and by an ass kicking I mean brownies and/or ice cream.”

18.   “He has been talking about the Grateful Dead and their literal religion for, like, an hour and a half.”

19.   “I need your soul. And by your soul, I mean I need to see you to give you a key.”

20.   “You should lure [enemy] into my den of iniquity so we can start reprogramming him.”

21.   “How many condoms is it safe for me to eat?”

22.   “Answer me, you fool!”

23.   “The fact that I’m the responsible one here is hysterical.”

24.   “What would I need to do to get you to curse someone?”

25.   “I saw [enemy]. His hair isn’t ugly, but it was so much better before. What a fool.”

Jealousy || Stiles Stilinski Imagine

Originally posted by elizabethccoper

Request: Do you do one shots too or only imagines? If you do, I was thinking maybe an teen wolf x Riverdale crossover. Like the reader goes to Riverdale for the summer to hang out with her cousin that just moved there (Veronica) and she meets jughead and he reminds her of stiles the guy she’s been in love with since forever and she starts getting close to jug and Stiles finds out and gets jealous bc he’s lowkey in love with her too and he goes to Riverdale to get her and maybe there’s some angst and smut

A/n: I haven’t posted anything in months (probably 6 months? Idk) and I’m really sorry about that. I had zero motivation to write anything and if I did nothing would come to me, so I’m really sorry. But now I’m back with school almost being over, I have a lot of time now. So enjoy this imagine that I wrote and sorry if it isn’t perfect and sorry if there’s any grammar error. Love you guys x

“Do you have to go?” A sad looking Stiles asked from across the room. You sighed, nodding your head as you packed some clothes in your suitcase. Stiles let out a puff and got up from the chair he was sitting in and walked over to your bed. “I don’t want you to.”

 “Stiles, it’s just the summer. It would go by pretty fast.” You told the brown haired boy and gave him a smile. He gave you a forced smile and you threw the shirt you had in your hands at him. Stiles let out a loud squeak, making you burst out laughing. 

 “That was so not cool.” Stiles claimed, glaring at you. You stuck your tongue out at him and giggled a bit. “Tell me again why are you leaving?”

 “I haven’t seen my cousin, Veronica, in a really long time and she always lived on the other side of the states and now that she’s 5 hour away I can finally go and visit her.” You exclaimed, getting excited about the fact that you’re going to see your beloved cousin after so, so long.

 “What if a monster invades the town?” He asked and you stopped folding your clothes to look at him, raising your eyebrows at him.

 “Stiles, if anyone invades the town there’s always Scott, Malia, Lydia…” you started to say, your face feeling hot before finishing your sentence, “and they have you. If anyone can stop those monsters, it’s you..”

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omgcp - study buddies

Nursey walks into the kitchen. “How’s it going?”

Bitty startles, pushing himself away from the sink. “Not too bad, brownies will be out in ten.”

Nursey opens the fridge and takes out a bottle of seltzer. “How was Providence?”

“Good.” Bitty picks up the sponge, squeezes some dish soap onto it. “I babysat Thirdy’s kids while he and his wife went on their first date in, like, a year. It was really fun.”

“Sounds chill.”

“There was a lot of screaming,” Bitty admits. “And coloring. And I taught them to bake chocolate chip cookies.”

“Aww!”

“Yeah.” Bitty sets the sponge down, wipes his hand on his pants, and angles his phone towards Nursey. “Look. Aren’t they adorable?”

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Southside Serpent

“So how long are you going to be acting like a complete brat?” He dictated, his body now pushing away from the fence and now standing in front of you. His body leaning into yours that pushes against the fence even more than before.

“Until you decide to leave me alone,” You state, head falling to the side as you do your best to look unfazed by how close he is, and how his cologne just makes you want to wrap your arms around him and push his body against yours so you can press your lips against his.

“Well that’s going to be shit luck for you because I’m never going to be leaving you alone.” He answers, lips tugging into a smirk as you feel yourself just completely cave in. The new found information that Luke won’t give up his tantalizing ways just to get you, has your mind in the gutter and the butterflies in your stomach just to buzz around more intensely then before.

Originally posted by queenlukes

Words: 5.3k

Rating: R

Request: No

A/N: inspired by the scene with kevin and the southside serpent, joaquin, from Riverdale


The sound of laughter and energetic conversations rattled off of your beige locker and flutters in your ears, along with the sound of sneakers smacking against the dirty hallway floors and the shutting of the exit doors being heard from where you are standing packing school work in your bag.

It was finally Friday and you’re buzzing with joy, you had nothing to do today but just to lay in bed and sleep. Not every day did you get a chance to take a nap after school, you always had something to do; go to your volleyball practices or go to your after school clubs and sometimes help tutor some of the kids on your street. You’re always busy and today you get the chance to finally rest.

So when you finally dropped your purple binder into your backpack and zipped it up a pleased sigh slipped out of your nose and into the energetic atmosphere, you let your hands tug away from your sliver zipper and close your locker before letting your body rest against it, the cool material causing your heated up body to chill for a moment.

“What are you doing?” You hear a voice ask, that causes your eyes to turn away from the white tiles and turn towards the voice. Samantha’s copper hair trailed down her shoulder and rested by her rip cage, her hazel eyes looking at you with question as one of her makeup filled eyebrows rose up on her forehead as her lips covered in a deep red colour was set in a straight line as she looked at you with curiosity.

“It’s finally Friday!” You sing, eyes closing for a moment as you let your head tilt against the locker and letting a smug smile tug on your lips. You watch as Samantha rolls her eyes before she leans against the locker next to yours, lips tugging into a smug smile a like yourself as her eyes glaze over with humor.

“So what?” She says, her cranberry lips moving as her words trail out of her mouth and smacks you in your face as you let your jaw drop and look at her with complete shock.

“So what! So what! Sam! I literally don’t have anything to do today. I don’t have volleyball, I don’t have any clubs to go to and I don’t have to tutor the kids on my street.” You say with excitement as a smug smile escapes your lips and a happy smile sets in place.

“God the kids on your streets are such brats.” Samantha grunts while rolling her eyes before shaking her head at you. “Anyways that’s not even the point, did you hear about what’s happening to The Twilight Drive-In?” She asks, both of her eyebrows rising up on her forehead as she stares at you questionably.

“No?” You state while shrugging your shoulders, head titling off of the locker and body turning to face Samantha as she rolls her eyes once again at your answer.

“How do you not know?” She questions, voice filled with aggravation as a laugh trails out of your mouth.

“You know if you continue to roll your eyes like that, they’re gonna get stuck.” You inquire, only making her roll her eyes again before taking her hand off of her blue denim jeans and rising it up to your cheek, her thumb running against your skin and caressing it.

“Please don’t be a smart ass.” She says, a fake smile on her deep lips as you watch her gold earrings dance around with her shaking head.

“Fine, then all be a dumbass.” You scoff, your body leaning off of your locker as you let your arms interlock with each other and rest along your chest.

Samantha pulled her hand away from your cheek and let her eyes flicker shut, her breath coming out heavy as you watched her lips silently count to ten before her eyes re-opened and look at you like she wanted to snap.

“Did your therapist tell you to do that whenever you’re annoyed?” You question, your right foot shifting away from your left foot which causes your hip to pop out as you look at Sam with amusement.

“Yes she actually did, now when you are done with your… irritating responses I would like to finish what I was about to say.” She says, her lips tugging into a smile as she lets her high heeled boots smack against the tile floor to an unknown beat.

“Continue, continue.” You say while tearing one of your hands away from your chest and flicking at her.  

“As I was going to say, The Twilight Drive-In is shutting down so tonight is the last night to see a movie there and also make out with a hot guy in the backseat of his car like in Grease.” She beams, her pearly white teeth showing as her eyes glow with happiness and excitement which only causes you to groan and smack your head against your locker.

“Sam… I don’t wanna go!” You cry, a painful expression washing over your facial features as you look at her like you’re going to die.

“Why not?” She asked, voice annoyed as she looked at you like she wanted to kill you on the spot.

“Because it’s Friday! My only free day in this whole entire month! And also, you are most definitely going to find some guy to make out with and just neglect me.” You rush, eyes rolling as you look at her with bewilderment.

“That’s so false and you know that!” Samantha exaggerates while her jaw drops and her hands tug away from her sides to slide onto her hips.

You just let your eyes roll as you stare at her and shake your head, Samantha knows for a fact that she would do something like this so you decide not to even encourage the conversation even more, instead you let your head turn away from her gaze and look down the hallway where people continue to flutter out of to leave school.

It was blond hair and piercing blue eyes that had your heart hammering against your chest and eyes looking all over the place, your hands grew sweat between the cracks of your knuckles as you felt your whole entire face heat up just at the sight of him.

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His || Jungkook || 0.18

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

Teaser | 0.1 | 0.2 | 0.3 | 0.4 | 0.5 | 0.6 | 0.7 | 0.8 | 0.9 | 0.10 | 0.11 | 0.12 | 0.13| 0.14 | 0.15 | 0.16 | 0.17 | 0.18

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Vow

*swamped with homework and feelings and managed to shell this out a month late…I’m a mess™*

Request:  Hii can i have a drabble thingy game with jimin?TY😙😉 12,23 by  rebelliousjvmin

Word Count: 8.6k

Originally posted by bwipsul

He’s a literal angel


You were immersed in a deep sleep, tired from working on a large project that was worth half your grade. In you attempt to disconnect from the world around and sleep peacefully, you blocked out the sounds and all touch with reality. The sudden dip in your bed didn’t bother you, the presence of another body and an arm haphazardly wrapping around you, these were things you were blocking out. Until you felt a finger on your cheek.

“Hey, roomie.”

“I hate you.”

“You know you love me.”

“Kiss my ass, Jimin.” You used to think you were lucky to be paired up with your best friend in the dorms of your university. Until you realized he was a clingy, sassy and messy guy that never failed to annoy you. His leisure attitude towards school was opposite to your dedication to reading every word of your textbook. He was a jock, baseball being the reason he was here in your room and cheekily smiling at you.  

“I wouldn’t mind doing that.” You whacked him in the face with your pillow, wanting him to leave your room but he instead pulled you closer against his chest.

“Let go of me, you pervert.”

“You told me to kiss your ass, now…”

“I swear to god, Jimin, I’ll suffocate you in your sleep.”

“Kinky. I always wanted to test out breath play.”

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It’s A Comfort Thing

Author: @sincerelystiles
Pairing: Dylan x Reader
Word Count: 3,738

Warnings: nsfw aT ALL THIS IS SO SINFUL I’M NOT EVEN SORRY

A/N: i was gonna keep this fluffy, but we all know it’s pretty impossible for me to not write sin for dylan, so here you go!! also i apologise for how dirty this got. fUCK. and thanks to my bby @sabrinas-wolves for helping me with this and the puthey… and this is dylan pov

listen to this


Originally posted by arkhamcutie


my baby: text me when you’re on your way home so i can start dinner xo

dyl pickle: will do xx

I shove my phone back into my pocket with a smile and rub my hands together eagerly. It had been five months since I’d been home, which also meant five long, agonisingly lonely months since I last saw Y/N. Admittedly, I’d much rather be home with her right now, either fucking the shit out of her, or holding her close to my chest as I wash her hair in the bath tub. She always loved corny shit like that. But unfortunately, I wasn’t. I was in my dressing room, waiting with T-Pose to be interviewed with Ellen DeGeneres.

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Stoned On You

A/N: Hiii. This is a collaboration with me and @minhosmeanhoe . We figured out  that we’re the same person with the same dirty mind and this was the outcome. This is the longest and most smut I’m sure either of us has ever written in our lives and I hope you guys love reading as much as we loved writing it ! The song that goes with this fic is Stoned On You by Jaymes Young

Warnings: smut; smoking (weed), drinking, mentions of violence, hair pulling; I’m sure there is more but idk rn

Word Count: 12,529

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Something About a Dream

First off, thank you to the many comments I’ve received about the series so far. It makes me feel amazing, and keeps me wanting to post, so thank you again. Second off, I already know where I am going with them, but, if you want, let me know what more you want to see as they grow. x

You can find the past parts here.

To put it simply, Harry was distraught.

He imagined the first time seeing you naked to be some life changing experience, and for the most part he was right, but he envisioned it to be more on the romantic side, with his naked form hovering above you as he reaches into his bedside table for a condom, not when he scampers into his bedroom to find a pair a socks, only to be met with your naked figure bent over to retrieve the towel that had fallen to a heap at your feet – but nothing ever goes the way he wants them to.

Ever.

For all the times he’s spent his mornings with a hand wrapped around his cock envisioning you rocking greedily against him, back arched and your nails digging into his thigh, he realizes you’re just as flawless as he daydreamed, even if he only got a few second glimpses before he stumbled out of the doorway, not even a peep leaving his lips.

Now, he was expected to share breakfast with the image of your bare arse forever etched in his head.

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The Pawns And The Kings

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Originally posted by bangtanbtsmut

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Smut

Plot: The reader is kidnapped, left alone in utter darkness. Once the day of her auctioning comes, she’s given to the head of one of the worlds most powerful gangs, Jungkook. She was nothing but a gift to him. But her little soul turns out to have the power to turn the tides in the worlds angriest ocean. And it turns out, Jungkook isn’t the only man whom eyes have settled upon her.

Warning, this chapter contains strong sexual language, and is smut.  It contains fingering. 


I had never really felt something so disguised by love. A feeling that betrays my mind and feeds my body, and in return my heart becomes vulnerable. Lust. I had never really felt it once in my life, up until now. But I still don’t understand it. The very feeling of it, the desire that bubbles up in your stomach, clouds your judgement and erases any of your critical thinking skills.

Oh how he flooded me with this feeling, the dopamine he released within my brain, the endorphin’s that acted out of pure desire for pleasure, one that he could create and expect for me to return. I had always seen it as a sin, but he makes me see it as an addiction.

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So once in tenth grade World History, we were split into groups and each group was given an infamous world leader. My group got Ivan the Terrible. The assignment was to research this leader and then create a human statue that depicted something important about the person. In case you didn’t gather from the name, Ivan killed…a lot. So our group came back the next day and we had one person pose with a fake sword like he was about to kill someone. Everybody else pretended to be in various stages of dying. When we came up with the monument we realized that it was kind of lame, so I told my group not to worry about it, that I would make it awesome.
So everybody else gets into position and then I stroll up with a brown paper bag. I pull out a sheet, spread it out and lay down on it. I then pull out an entire 30 ounce bottle of fake blood and dump the full bottle on top of my head.
After we were judged I ran out to get cleaned up before the lecture. The issue was that I was now covered and dripping blood from everywhere. I cannot clean my hands enough to get a grip on a bathroom door. So I run up to one of my other teacher’s classrooms that has a sink in it and kick the door a few times. One of my friends opened the door and almost screamed. I said hi, walked to the sink, washed my hands, and exited the classroom.
The teacher did not receive an explanation until 3 years later.

Aria killed Cece

I haven’t watched the whole of 7x17 yet but I saw the musical clip on YouTube and have just started watching the episode.

In the opening scene, AD says “you either deliver that gift or you’re getting hitched in CELL BLOCK SEVENTEEN”.

Aria’s dream is a musical sequence, that is very much like a scene from Chicago, The Musical, ‘Cell Block Tango’.

These are the lyrics Velma (a lead character):

‘My sister, VERONICA (she’s in Aria’s dream) and I had this double act and my husband, Charlie, traveled around with us.
Now, for the last number in our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks in a row.
One two three four, five…splits, spread eagles, back flips,flip flops, one right after the other.
Well, this one night we were in the HOTEL CICERO (The Radley Hotel and Cicero College - looking for Mrs Grunwald - Aria was the only liar that wasn’t there), the three of us, sittin up in the hotel room boozin’ and havin’ a few laughs (the liars were drinking in the Radley Hotel, the night Cece was killed) and WE RUN OUT OF ICE (Hanna went to get ice and saw Aria). SO I GO OUT TO GET SOME. I come back, open the door and there’s Veronica and Charlie doing Number SEVENTEEN (AD says “Cell Block 17”) - the spread EAGLE (a type of bird - Drake/Wren).
Well, I (Aria) WAS IN SUCH A STATE OF SHOCK, I COMPLETELY BLACKED OUT. I CAN’T REMEMBER A THING. IT WASN’T UNTIL LATER, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I EVEN KNEW THEY (Cece was) WERE DEAD’.

Aria could have killed Cece but may not remember.

2

A/N: Request from anon. A lot of depression and angst here but I’d say it’s fluffy too. It worked well with that idea I had in mind, so without further ado… enjoy!

Words: 1662
Warnings: angst, depression

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