i was washed away by

anonymous asked:

Do you play duel monsters irl?

I used to play A LOT when I was younger, but my deck washed away with Hurricane Irene (my friend and I played in her basement and it got DESTROYED then), but now I do with Duel Links and my college friend gifted his extra cards so I can make a deck!! I’m a bit rusty 😂

I drew your name in the sand
And watched the waves wash it away.
I wish it would pull my memories of you away too.
Drag it off to some foreign beach and let it wash up for someone else to find.
But theres no where else for memories to go.
Theyre trapped like a letter in a bottle.
—  A.P
7

The Oregon Coast Project

The Oregon Coast is a very special place to me. I was born on the east coast, and shortly before my brother was born my family moved to Lincoln City, where I lived until I was 4 or 5. All of my formative memories are from times on the coast, from riding my tricycle on the beach just a block from our house, to being caught in a sneaker wave and my dad sprinting into the ocean to come save me from being washed away. Every time I revisit these places I’m filled with a weird feeling of nostalgia and sadness - not because the memories I have are sad, but because this place probably won’t be around for much longer - at least not the way we’ve come to know it. 

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another netflix recommendation no one asked for: black mirror - “san junipero” (s3e4)

in this episode (that lasts over an hour btw so it’s more like a mini movie- i would certainly not mind if this was made into a series of sorts idk i wouldn’t mind more) a shy girl and an outgoing party girl meet and become friends and maybe more and a bond that literally defies space and time is established between the two of them. i feel like i’ve said enough, but i also really dig the fact that it was mostly set in 1987 (i love stranger things so i’m suddenly obsessed with that time). but the biggest question is: what’s real and what isn’t? ;) ;) ;)

Sam Winchester-Therapist

Title: Therapist

Word count:1,941

Pairings: Sam x child reader

Summary: One where Sam never wanted to be a lawyer but a child therapist, (never went back into hunting) and meets a child he can’t get to open up. 

A/N: SO sorry it’s so long! I got carried away!!! 

‘’(Y/n), (Y/L/N)’’

Dread washed over you, you sat firmly in your seat, eyes forward liked the trained robot you were. Good little solider. 

The man who was standing halfway out of the doorway came closer, his footsteps were silent and precise even though he was a giant with very broad limbs. Janine, your care-worker, glared sharply at you. 

‘’I’m so sorry, she’s so rude’’She blurted out as the man stood in front of you. ‘’She thinks she can not talk to anyone just because of her past’’. That one hit you. You hated this, you hated that you were being forced to see a child therapist, you didn’t need one. 

You were a special case, the police had found you tied to a bed, bloody and half beaten to death. You were an abused victim, you mother was an alcoholic who suffered from schizophrenia. You had never known a normal life, never been loved or cared for, there was one care-worker, Charlie, you really liked her, but you didn’t talk to anyone. You learnt that if you were to open your mouth, or cry you would be punished and so you did not do it. 

The man shuffled as he gave Janine a pointed look. ‘’Actually, we don’t tend to look at it that way, damaged pasts can lead to PTSD or strained futures, saying things like that will only encourage the patient to feel unsafe’’The Doctor said with a slightly agitated tone at Janine. You risked a glance up, glancing at the man who finally told Janine to shut up but worded it more nicely. 

He was tall, very, very tall. His hair fell to the nape of his neck, a chestnut brown that slightly flicked off at the ends. His eyes were hazel, a mixture of a warm brown and a forest green. He had slight stubbled across his jaw and he was very, very muscular. He smiled when he caught your eyes only for yours to quickly dart back to the floor. 

Never make eye contact. 

Never. 

You noted the man coming closer but not close enough to frighten you. He bent down, knee’s slightly cracking as he shuffled to stay put. 

‘’Hello, (Y/n). My names Doctor Winchester, you can call me Sam if you like’’He smiled, his voice was soft and soothing but again you stayed put, eyes directed towards the floor. Janine huffed beside you and Sam was surprisingly good at keeping a calm atmosphere. You could feel his eyes gauging your reactions, gauging your body language as he grasped the clip board under his arm. ‘’Why don’t we take this inside my office, it’s much warmer in there’’He suggested, standing up with a small grunt. He towered over you, still smiling but not a patronising one, one that showed you he was okay with whatever you were comfortable with. 

You noticed how he said ‘warmer’ instead of ‘I’m going to ask you a lot of personal questions about your previous life and it needs to be private so step into my office’ he made it seem less scary, like he wasn’t about to unravel all your deepest secrets. 

Sam titled his head, his eyes took in every detail, he noted how you were chewing on your lips, how they were worn down so you probably did it a lot. He noted the way you scratched at your knuckles. You substituted sadness for pain, making sure that if you felt like crying you would scratch or bite down on your lip so you were distracted. 

Sam had gotten the case file this morning, he was saddened to see the pictures of how badly treated you were, he was warned they were gory but he didn’t expect them to be this bad. He knew you were a special case and would have to be treated tenderly and so they gave it to someone very patient. It’s a good job Sam was patient because you sat on your chair, staring at the floor for a very long time. 

Sam titled his head, hair falling to the side as he watched you. He knelt down again, one knee on the floor, the other up as he bowed his head to catch your eyes but you quickly averted them to the left of him. 

‘’We can do this out here if you prefer’’Sam whispered, voice low and again, soothing. Janine scoffed loudly. 

‘’Oh for God sake (Y/n), stop being so stubborn!’’She yelled. That triggered something in you, the yelling, it reminded you of your mother and you were sure a slap would follow. Your hands shot up to your ears, eyes squeezing shut as your breathing increased rapidly. 

Sam stood up rather quickly, his arm pushed Janine away as he held it out in case she tried to step close again. 

‘’Miss if you could please refrain from yelling’’Sam grunted to her before he came close again. 

‘’(Y/n)? (Y/n)?’’He called, his finger twitched, he wanted to pull your arms slowly down so you could see everything was okay but he knew it wasn’t a good idea to touch a patient suffering from previous abuse. Instead Sam gave one quick, gentle tap to your shoulder before pulling back, he watched, waiting as you opened your eyes slowly. You saw nothing had happened and slowly you set down your hands and relaxed. He smiled at you, nodding his head as if he was proud. 

‘’Everything’s okay, (y/n)’’He smiled, he was very, very good at his job. He stood back up again. ‘’I tell you what, why don’t me and you stay here, you don’t have to say anything, you can just sit here until you’re ready and then you tell me and we’ll go into my office, okay?’’He suggested, voice warm and dripping with honey. Sam turned to Janine and hushed something and she left with a grumpy expression. Sam took a seat on the opposite row, his long legs stretched out as he crossed his foot over the other, his arms crossed over his chest and although he tried to look at something else the therapist inside of him made him keep looking back at you and observing you. 

It was a very, very, very good job Sam was patient. You sat for half an hour, unwilling to go into a smaller room where there would be just you and him. Sam knew he’d have to gain your trust but he also knew it would be extremely difficult too. Sam didn’t sigh, figit or give any indication that he was bored or getting impatient, he just waited and clicked his fingers against the other silently. 

Sam glanced at you, watching your arms slowly cup your body. You were guarding yourself. He leaned forward, bracing his elbows against his kneecaps. 

‘’You know, we don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want too. How about we just get to know each other first? Would you like that, (y/n)?’’Sam asked. He held his breath and it took a while but you nodded, a small nod but still the first answer he got. He smiled, standing up as he held open his door. 

He smiled at you as you gingerly walked through the door, he noticed that you pushed yourself as far away from him as humanly possible. He shut the door, turning back around to you. 

‘’Oh it really is warm in here isn’t it’’He chuckled, moving to sit at his seat. ‘’You can sit down if you want’’He offered, motioning to the chair in front of him. He was very good with words making sure he said ‘if you want’ showing the patient it was their own choice, they had a sense of freedom and choice then. You shook your head timidly, placing yourself behind the chair. 

Sam scribbled down on his clipboard all the things he had spotted earlier and how you had put a barricade between the two of you. Your trust issues really were out the window. Sam looked back up, the usual soft smile on his features. 

‘’So, (Y/n), why don’t you tell me something about yourself?’’Sam asked. He waited but got no response. He ruled out open questions, open questions left someone with a infinite amount of answers, his question wasn’t specific like 

‘Do you like dancing?’

‘What’s your favourite food?’

Instead you could have responded with a whole paragraph of words because he didn’t shorten his question to a specific answer. Sam ruled that out, he would use short, specific questions for now as you weren’t ready to comfortably talk to him yet. 

Sam titled his head, crossing his leg over the other. 

‘’Whats your favourite colour?’’He added, not faltering with your lack of response. Your eyes slowly flittered up, they didn’t look directly at Sam but around the room, he scribbled down some notes. You shuffled, you didn’t mean to be rude, he seemed nice, you just didn’t want him to get mad. Instead you pointed to his tie. 

Sam looked down, fingers lifting up his tie. ‘’Green?’’He said, looking back at you for conformation. You nodded shyly, looking away. Sam frowned softly, not in disagreement or discouraging but confusement before nodding. 

‘’Green isn’t normally a girls favourite colour, actually you know, green isn’t very popular at all. Why do you like green, (y/n)?’’Sam asked, leaning forward. Therapists were very sly, making it seem like they were asking a simple harmless question but really they slowly got you to start talking in depths until you realise your telling them everything. 

Sam only got a small shrug in response. He watched you shuffled your shoe about, watched you tug your jacket over your knuckles. He chewed on his lip, this was definitely going to be harder than he thought. Sam had never had a patient like this before, normally they slowly opened up after finding out how nice he was. Sam leaned back, analysing the situation as he tried to think hard of how to proceed. 

Sam tapped his pen against his clipboard as he scratched at the nape of his neck. Sam was a very good child therapist, however, it was hard to see what direction he needed to go in that would make you comfortable and slowly get you to open up, it was hard because normally other children gave him signals and clues by now but you remained closed. 

‘’Why don’t you move the chair for me, (y/n)?’’Sam suggested a while of silence. ‘’Show me were you’re most comfortable’’Sam nodded, encouraging you as you seemed wary. Sam leaned forward, elbows braced against his knees when he saw you weren’t moving. He stood up, fingers grasping the back of your chair, noticing you stood back abruptly. 

And that’s how it went, Sam would pull the chair back asking if that was comfortable enough away from him, you would shake your head and soon enough it got to the point where the chair was barely scraping the back wall until you were comfortable enough. 

Sam faltered slightly but didn’t let it show, he hoped that after more sessions the chair would slowly be back to where it was, only a couple of inches apart. He asked more questions, nothing personal, questions kids would like but he got nothing, sometimes getting shakes and nods. 

Sam found himself not wanting the session to end but he was getting nowhere. After you left Sam spent his whole night reviewing your file, calling up people, he tried to find ways to go, things you were interested in ready for next session. Sam was determined to get through to you. 

He wasn’t going to say it wouldn’t be a challenge.

some tips on being a trans guy and dealing with menstruation:

  • it’s cool if you don’t use tampons. i’m 19 years old and i have never once used a tampon for a lot of reasons and there are a lot of pads out there that you won’t even feel are there (personally i’ve never had a bad experience with kotex)
  • if blood is a source of dysphoria, it always helps me to 1) change my pads a lot which you should be doing anyway, but always carry some with you in case you’re feeling more uncomfortable than usual and want to change more frequently
  • 2) taking a shower and washing as much as i can get rid of away, don’t use soap or anything all you need is water and your fingers. it’s not the most pleasant thing and it can be pretty gross to feel but it’s especially helpful for me on the first day when i’m personally always heavier or when i wake up in the morning and don’t want to feel gross getting out of the house. it’s worth it in the long run.
  • if you can feel it coming and you have cramps or it’s predictable, take some pain relievers if you can. i use generic advil/ibuprofen and i can catch the cramps before they happen or at least make them tolerable 
  • if you do have cramps and they do hit you before any medication can, or if you can’t take medication and it gets overwhelming, hot showers are a godsend, especially if you have a removable shower head, warm water (not burning too hot) below your navel can really help for a while and it’ll help you calm down 
  • try to wear looser-fitting clothes if you can, like when i was in high school i’d wear pajamas when i was on my period and nobody ever really cared. baggy shirt and pajamas week. it’ll be more relaxing and there’s less pressure and less focus on where the pain comes from, i always notice it’s worse when i’m wearing things like jeans 
  • if you can, invest in a heating pad or an icy-hot thing. amazing for night and amazing for distraction, if you can’t take showers a lot i’d consider this a pretty good alternative and it helps with cramps as well as just general relaxation and it takes your focus off of it

feel free to add anything?