i was trying to distract myself from homework

Day 11: Is there anything you do that helps keep you grounded?

- I like to write myself a note when I’m in a good mood to remind myself that I am capable of having good moods when I slip into a bad mood and my lack of emotional permanence kicks in.

- Writing always helps, whether I’m writing my feelings or a poem or a story or whatever it might be. Any art form can help, I just find that writing helps me the most

- I also like coloring books, although I’m a perfectionist so these can sometimes stress me out, but most of the time, coloring is very satisfying.

- D I S T R A C T I O N S are hella important. Don’t let yourself sit and dwell on parts of your brain that’ll make your mood worse. I have actually found that despite me usually hating homework and cleaning, they help distract me. When I’m angry I prefer to clean, when I feel myself getting depressed I like to do homework. Manipulate productive things into coping mechanisms. (Easier said than done, I know, but try to work at it to develops a habit of it) That way, you feel better while also completing important tasks and you feel even better bc you get things done.

- I ALWAYS have friends around. Like almost 24 hours every day. (A couple of them live with me) This has kept me from cutting and lifted my mood up quite a lot. So try to have friends around in those moments where you feel like you’re going to relapse if possible.

- Keeping a journal is a great thing to do. You should write when you are happy, depressed, angry, dissociated, whenever. This really helps your emotional permanence bc you can look back on when you were happy. It also helps you realize that problems and feelings are temporary when you go back to when you wrote when you were sad a month or so ago.

- When you feel like you are about to split or you are beginning to get angry, take a walk or a run. Even if you are arguing with someone, just get away from them. Take at least a 15 minute walk. It helps you cool down and it may even change your mind about why you are getting mad or splitting by giving you enough time to realize you are being irrational (if you are, that’s not always the case). I shit you not, this has kept me from decking tf out of so many people including teachers, assistant principals, friends, even my friend’s grandma, etc

- Have your friends write you a loving and supportive letter to you so you can read it when you are in a bad mood or when you feel like they don’t care about you

》I think I’m going to make a part 2 to this someday but reblog with anything you’d like to add that may help people manage their bpd symptoms 💕

Lacrosse Girl (Part 2)

Summary: The reader is a girl who wants to play lacrosse at Beacon Hills.  Since there is no girls’ team, the boys’ team is her only option. Coach has a couple of rules but let’s her try out anyway.

Pairing: Stiles x Reader

Word Count: just over 1400

 A/N: part 1, part 3

It was Saturday and I was lying awake at five a.m.

I was hanging out with Stiles today.  Alone.

I was suddenly very nervous. We’d set it up three days ago and I wasn’t nervous then.  Now, the butterflies in my stomach are making me want to throw up.

Stiles and I talked a little more than usual these last three days.  We would hang out while waiting on the bench for practice to start. We would talk while we warmed up, which would always end with Stiles practically dying and me laughing.  He’d walk me back to my car before going to shower, since I just go home to shower.

After that first day, Coach said he didn’t care if they knew I was a girl.  He just awkwardly told me to be careful since I was pretty good and the guys would hate that.

I was able to distract myself with homework for a couple hours.  Then I got up and got dressed.

I pulled on leggings, a sports bra and a tank top.  I threw on my tennis shoes and zipped up my jacket before grabbing my bag and heading to the field.  I had taken the time to braid my hair and put on just a little bit of makeup.  I didn’t want him to think I was trying too hard.

I parked and got out.

Stiles was already here. And from the looks of it, he’d been here a while.

“How long have you been here?” I asked when I came up behind him.

He jumped and turned around. He put his hand to his chest and I laughed at his wide-eyed expression.

“Just…just like…an hour.”


“I…uh…”  he trailed off and looked down, scratching the back of his neck.  I realized he did that a lot around me.  “I wanted to get better.”

“Well,” I said with a smile. “I’m here to help.  So let’s get started.”

We started with warm ups. Then I stood in the goal while he fired balls at me.  Then I corrected his stance and we tried again.  Then we tossed a ball back and forth for a while.  Then I fired balls at him and laughed when he struggled to catch them.  He was definitely not fit for goalie.

The entire time we were laughing and singing along, very badly might I add, to the music playing from my phone.

After a couple hours, we both collapsed on the ground.  We laid on our backs, panting and laughing.

“Clear your schedule,” Stiles said, propping himself up and looking down at me.  “I’m gonna need a lot of help.”

I laughed and sat up too. “First of all, you’re fine.  But I am free next week.”

“Next week it is,” he said, scrambling to his feet.  He helped me up and we grabbed our stuff.

He walked me back to my car and I drove off.

The next week was the same. Stiles and I talked and hung out a little more but it was always at school or the lacrosse field.

On Saturday, we practiced for a couple hours.

The week after was basically the same.

Until Thursday.  That’s when it all changed.

The scrimmage started out like normal.  I was playing first line so I was in right away.

It wasn’t a hard game really.  Yes, the other team was made up of giants but I was faster than them.  I was able to weave my way through them and score a few goals.

I didn’t realize anything was off until Liam and Garrett collided with a player from the other team.  The three went down.  Liam couldn’t play anymore.  The guy from the other team had to be carried off the field.  And Garret was smirking.

Why would Garrett be smirking?  He was just run into.

“You okay?” Stiles asked, looking at me.

“I’m fine,” I said, shaking my head.  I pulled off my helmet.

I looked at Garrett a little longer before walking over to the bench.

“Let’s talk,” a voice said when I set my helmet on the bench. I turned and saw it was Garrett.  “Make a sound and I’ll kill you.”

I felt something sharp pressed against my back, between my padding.  My eyes widened and I swallowed.

He started pushing me towards the locker room.  Since Kira and I were the only girls, we had the locker room to ourselves. Kira was still on the field.  So, I’m the only one that would go in here now.

He was going to kill me.

He pushed me in, shut the door and turned to me.  He twirled his lacrosse stick in his hand, except it wasn’t really a lacrosse stick anymore.  It was more like staff with knives on either end.

I slowly backed away. But I slammed into the lockers and had to stop.

“What are you?” he asked simply.  He smirked as he took a step closer.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I gasped.

“Really?” he asked with a laugh.  He raised his eyebrows.  “You’re not a part of Scott’s pack?  I’ve seen you with Stiles, you have to know.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Well then this all must come as a shock.”  He took another step closer.

I moved away from him, down the row of lockers.  I needed to think of a plan to get out of here.

“What could you be? You can’t be a werewolf or a werecoyote since you’d know with every full moon.  Maybe you’re a banshee and you haven’t been bitten like Lydia was.”

What was he talking about?

I stumbled back and hit the wall.  I turned and ran down the next row of lockers, hoping to make it to the door before him.  But he stood in front of me before I could even make it to the end of the row.  I started backing up again.

“Kira’s a kitsune and her mom too.  Maybe you’re one of those.”

He walked closer with a smirk.

“Or maybe you’re something else entirely.  Maybe you’re a whole new kind of freak.”

I was trapped against the lockers again.  And he was too close for me to run.  He put the stick up and blocked my path.

But he left himself vulnerable.

I quickly stomped on his toes with one foot.  I then grabbed his shoulders, while he was still shocked, and slammed my knee into his stomach.  I elbowed him in the face as I pushed past him.

I ran for the door and pulled on it.  He’d locked it though so it took me a few seconds to unlock it and pull it open.

He’d caught up at this point and pushed me forward so I slammed against the wall on the other side of the hallway.  I quickly turned around but he was there with the stick against my throat.  I grabbed it and tried to push back but I wasn’t strong enough.

I gasped and brought my knee up, hitting him right in the groin on the first try.  He fell back a little and I pushed off the wall.  I took a few steps away but he was right there, stabbing his stick into my gut.

We both were silent for a second, just looking down at it.  It was sticking out of the right side of my stomach, right above my hip.

I took a deep breath and looked up at him.  And I screamed.

He’d already stabbed me.  He was going to kill me.  Why not scream and draw attention?  Why didn’t I do that earlier?

He flew down the hall, the stick coming with him.  He hit the ground and rolled a few times.

I just stared at him. What the hell?

His eyes were wide but he quickly got up, grabbed his stick and limped away.

I turned my attention back to my wound.

One problem.

There wasn’t a wound. I lifted up my jersey and then my undershirt.  Both were bloody, even my skin was, but there was no wound.

What the hell was going on?

I turned when I heard a sound.  I quickly dropped my shirt and jersey so they hopefully wouldn’t see the blood.


“Y/N?” he gasped.  He was helping the player from the other team towards the door.  “Come with me.  Trust me.”

I nodded and followed.

Might as well see where this leads me.

da3dralord80085  asked:

Do you have any tips for how to motivate yourself? aside from looking at thinspo ☺️

I usually try to remind myself that binging is NOT worth it and will only make me feel worse. I also distract myself. Big time!!! This is my #1 tip. I’ll go to homework, I’ll read, I’ll go to the gym, I’ll go on a walk, I’ll ride my bike, I’ll smoke, shower, research, journal, study some more, listen to music. I also get lost daydreaming about myself and my life at my gw. If you ever need someone to distract you, message me :)

Since @derierieri had a post about wanting someone to draw her Elis and I wanted to try doodling in a more “Naka-sen” sorta way I was like, “Yea sure. Why not?” X)

I’m Mel in the pic. Why must pens be non-erasable? *sniffle* T-T 

anonymous asked:

advice for someone with suicidal thoughts?

take deep breaths

cry it out, cry cry cry.. get it out

I usually try to distract myself from those thoughts, since i’m overwhelmed with emotion and can’t look at the situation objectiviely (i.e binge watch bob’s burgers, or color in a coloring book, take a sad walk and admire the scenery, draw, do my homework, anything that takes my mind away from it)

talk to someone, anyone who will listen. Whether it’s in person, online, your pet, someone

play upbeat music (anything that’s opposite of what I’m feeling)

SHOWER.. I will purposely get dolled up for NO reason. Sometimes impressing yourself on the outside can help you feel better on the inside

get out of my room.. don’t stay in there. force yourself to change your environment when youre sad

call a hotline, or join a forum for help.. mood panda is an app that may help (it’s like a small forum where people monitor and express their mood and others are there for support)

Lacrosse Girl (Part 5)

Summary: Being the only girl on the lacrosse team was supposed to be the hardest part of Y/N’s junior year.  Now people want to kill her.  Great…just great.

Word Count: 1450

A/N: part 1

I didn’t sleep.  Like at all.

I mean, how could I? Someone could come in and try to kill me.

And I haven’t mastered these powers so let’s be honest, they’re probably useless to me.

Around midnight, I finally gave up.  I sat on my bed and looked at my desk.  I tried as hard as I could to get the coffee mug to move.

I threw two people against walls.  I healed a person.

And I couldn’t move a coffee mug?


For hours, I tried. It was four in the morning when I finally gave up.

I did some homework, trying to distract myself.  It worked for almost three hours.

I then showered, got dressed and started making breakfast.

“You’re up early,” Grandma said, walking in.

“Stiles is picking me up today,” I replied, scooping the eggs onto the plates.

“And you’re wearing that?”

“Grandma,” I gasped, looking over at her.

She just laughed and continued pouring the juice.

“He’s just a friend,” I sighed.  I put the pan in the sink and grabbed the plates.  “And besides, he’s seen me in my lacrosse uniform.  Anything is a step up from that.”

“True,” she said.

We ate in silence.  I got a text from Stiles, saying he’d be here in half an hour.  I cleaned up and waited.

“Are you okay, baby?” Grandma asked, looking down at me.

I sighed.  “I’m fine Grandma.  Just a little stressed with school.”

“Well, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”


I couldn’t look at her.

Did she know about my powers?  Was this hereditary?  Maybe it wasn’t, but she could still know.

Or maybe she doesn’t know. And if I tell her, I’ll sound crazy and she’ll lock me up.

But maybe telling her will get her killed.  I mean, think about how many people will want a shot at $20 million.

“I’m okay, I promise.”

She smiled and kissed my forehead.

“Have a good day.”

“Thanks Grandma.  I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.”

Stiles arrived a few minutes later.  I grabbed my stuff and hurried out.

“You okay?” he asked.

“I didn’t sleep,” I sighed. “But…I’m okay.”

He nodded and we started towards the school.

“You don’t have to go to school.”

“No, but I want to.  I want to distract myself.”

He nodded again.

“Listen,” he started. “I’m not gonna be in school today, but you can always call me if you need something.”

I nodded.  “Thanks.”

We rode the rest of the way in silence.

“You’ll be okay, right?” he asked, just before I shut my door.

“I’ll be fine,” I said with a nod.  “Thanks.”

I shut the door and walked into school.

“Where did you go last night?” Danny asked.

I made my way to my locker and he followed.

“Uh…my grandma called me. I had to go home to make sure she was okay.”

“We just…we saw you walking off with Garrett.  He’s missing now.”

“Yeah.”  What do I say?  I know I have to lie but what do I say?  “He wanted to talk but ran before we could talk.”

“Why’d he want to talk?”

I shrugged.  “Probably about running.”

Danny nodded and that seemed to be good enough for him.  “I’ll see you later.”

I nodded and headed to my first class.  The rest of the day was normal.

A little too normal, maybe.

I felt different.  I was different.

I had powers.  I could heal people and I could throw people into walls without touching them.  I was so different.

But no one seemed to notice.

School was fine. Practice was fine.

Everyone was still worried about Garrett.  No. Worried isn’t the right word.  It was more curious about Garrett and Violet and the whole mess.

But no one knew he tried to kill me.  No one knew about Brett.

I don’t know how I feel about that.

No one can look at me with pity for almost being killed.  No one can look at me like I’m a freak for having powers.  No one can steer clear of me because I could kill them.

I went home after practice. I showered.  I studied.  I ate dinner. I did everything I would normally do.

It was just a normal day.

So why did I feel so weird? Why did I feel like something was wrong?

I was just studying on my bed.  I tried to move the mug again but gave up fairly quickly.  It just wasn’t going to work.  So, studying is what I needed to focus on.

I blinked and I was suddenly somewhere else.

I was in the woods.  Why was I in the woods in the middle of a cold night?  And why was I wearing my pajamas?  Where were my shoes?

In front of me was a boarded-up hole, except a small section had been cut away.  I slowly walked over, put my hands on the edge and looked down the hole.

There was a boy, maybe a year or two younger than me.  I recognized him from the lacrosse team.  He was climbing the wall of the well, which was partially filled with water.

“Oh my God,” I breathed.

His head shot up and he looked at me with wide eyes.  And then he fell.

“No,” I screamed.

I don’t know why I did this but I threw my hand down as far as I could, like I could actually catch him. Well, apparently, I could.

He stopped just before he hit the water and just floated there.  Both our eyes widened as they met.

I glanced at my hand and took a small breath.  I slowly pulled my hand up and watched as the boy came with.  Neither of us breathed until he was on the ground outside the well.

I knelt next to him and looked him over.  He didn’t look injured.  He was just cold and wet.

“Are you okay?”

“Liam,” a voice yelled.

We both looked up sharply. There was Scott running towards me. Except he had glowing red eyes.

My eyes widened and I jumped to my feet.  I’m not one hundred percent sure he knew I was a good guy.  Well, then again, I’m not sure I’m a good guy.

Okay, one hundred percent sure he didn’t know.

He jumped over Liam as I backed away a little, as far as I could before I hit the well.  Claws came out quickly and I held up my hands in front of me like they would actually protect me.

Well, they did.

Maybe I should stop doubting myself.  My first instinct seems to be to use my powers and they seem to be keeping me and others alive.

Scott was frozen in place.

My eyes widened and I sucked in a breath.  That wasn’t what I meant to happen.

I quickly put my hands down but that knocked Scott to his knees, again, not something I planned to happen.

“I’m so sorry,” I breathed, kneeling in front of him.  “I’m sorry.”

“You’re Y/N?” Scott asked, looking up at me.

I nodded.

“Stiles warned me about you. A witch?”

“We don’t know for sure.”

“How’d you know where I was?” Liam asked, sitting up.  He was still panting.  And he was starting to sweat.  I don’t think he’s okay anymore.

“I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head.  “I was in my bedroom, studying, and then I was standing in front of the well.  I don’t get it.”

We were silent for a minute before Liam started shaking.

I scrambled over and looked him over.  It was just like when Brett was poisoned.  He was starting to foam at the mouth.

And if it worked last time, I hoped it would work this time.

I put my hand over his heart.


I furrowed my eyebrows. It worked last time.  I’m assuming the poison was the same.  I’m also assuming it wasn’t a one time thing.

“What are you doing?” Scott asked.  “We have to get him to Deaton.”

“Give me a sec.  Trust me,” I said, glancing up.

I bit my lip and pulled Liam’s tank top down a little.  I then put my hand over his heart on his bare chest.

My entire hand connected. My breathing stopped.

And then it was over and I was on my back, panting.  I hadn’t caught myself that time.

“Liam,” Scott practically yelled.  He was by his side in seconds.  “What did you do?” he roared at me.

“I took the poison out,” I replied, still panting.  “I did the same when Brett was poisoned.  He’ll be okay.  I promise.”

After another minute, Liam sat up and was fine.

“I’m taking you both to Deaton.”


so i’m terribly bored, and trying so hard to distract myself from my homework because i do NOT want to do it

so i decided to write a calum blurb thing ((idk how this works ngl))

ok so drunk!calum. wow getting excited just thinking about it. OKAY so earlier in the afternoon, he’d tell you that he’s going out with the boys (of course) and won’t be back late. he’d usually come home a bit early, and watch movies and cuddle with you. so he was telling you in advance that he won’t be able to, giving you ‘permission’ to sleep early for once lmao. so knowing that he won’t be home till later, you decided to catch some z’s. while you were asleep, he’d come stumbling in, drunk off his ass, trying extremely hard to be as slick as a spy. he’s probably be murmuring some bad ass spy tune as he “tiptoed” his way around the house. everything would be extremely fuzzy for him, he’d be tripping all over the place, having a complete lack of balance. so basically, he’s be a complete doof. he’d giggle to himself as he tried to sneakily make his way to the kitchen so he could bake a cake, because he was seriously craving one. so he’d attempt to get all the ingredients like eggs and flour, but he’d be so fucking drunk that he’d grab things like cheese and sprinkles, thinking they were the right ingredients.OKOK so he’d BE MAKING SUCH A LOUD NOISE. pots and pans would fall to the floor and the food would get everyWHERE. all because he was trying to make a cake (hOW FUCKING CUTE) anyways,, so obviously, that woke you up. so you’d groggily walk to the kitchen , extremely annoyed if i might  add, and saw calum sitting on the tiled floor in a drunken state. he’d have flour in his hair and eggs drooping through the crevices of his fingers. pots and utensils will be all over the floor. its like he had a food fight with himself in your kitchen. you WOULD be mad rn, but calum just started to chuckle. he’d slowly start to laugh hysterically at the situation you two were in: you in your footie pajamas staring at him and calum in covered in cake shit sitting on the floor. he would giggle like a little child at the mess he made, which caused you to laugh with him. AND ONCE YOU GUYS WERE DONE LAUGHING ABOUT THE WHOLE THING, YOU’D GRAB A WARM CLOTH AND STARTED WIPING THE CRUSTY FLOUR OFF HIS FACE KNOWing THAT YOU COULD NEVER BE MAD AT HIM. HE’D LEAN INTO THE PALM OF YOUR HAND AS YOU SCRUBBED HIS FACE AND HE’D JUST SMILE SO WIDE BC HE’S SO ENTIRELY GRATEFUL. HE’S SO HAPPY HE HAS YOU IN HIS LIFE, AND TO PROVE THAT HE KISSES YOU SWEETLY !!!

Making Excuses - Nash Grier Part 7

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6

I woke up the next morning with a raging hangover. I could feel the blood pumping around my head it hurt that much. I sighed loudly as I dragged myself out of the bed, pushing the bathroom door open and jumping slightly at my own sight in the mirror. “Ew” I said under my breathe as I began to wash off the remainder of my make-up off my face.

I didn’t look great but it was a lot better than what I looked like before. I flopped back on the bed, back first. I turned my head in response to hearing my phone buzz beside me. I picked it up just to see it was a facebook notification of someone tagging me in a picture. I didn’t really want to see it but the curiosity was killing me. My heart sank as I opened it. It was a picture of Nash and me from last night.

It’s not that I had forgotten what happened last night, I just thought there was no way it was real. It was just a fight that got a little out of hand. Nash would be here any minute to apologise, I knew it. I tried to distract myself by doing my homework or cleaning my room but every few minute checking to see if Nash had texted. Nothing.

I was starting to get impatient, if he was trying to irritate me it was working. Maybe he was contemplating what he was going to say and that’s what was taking him so long. Yeah that’s it. I had literally cleaned my entire house waiting for the text that clearly wasn’t coming. I flopped onto the couch, phone in hand. “Nash come on..” I groaned talking to my phone like an insane person. I could have swallowed my pride and texted him first but realistically I wasn’t going to do that.

As the hours faded so did my hope. I began to accept the fact that he wasn’t going to show up at my house like some kind of knight in shining armour but hopefully on Monday we would sort it out.

I spent the entire day of Sunday planning out exactly what was going to happen when I got into school. I was going to walk in and Nash was going to come straight up to me telling me how sorry he was and how he was an idiot. I could imagine the whole scenario in my head. Partially because it had happened so many times before.

I strolled into school prepared for Nash to come up to me at any moment. Just as I was about to walk off to class from my locker, I heard a familiar laugh from behind me. I turned around to see Nash walking down the hallway with Josh, one of his friends. His face fell when he saw me and he coughed awkwardly before looking the other way and walking right past me. I stood there in astonishment. I can’t believe he actually just blanked me.

He was in the wrong here not me, he had no right to give me the silent treatment. If anything it should have been the other way around. “Asshole” I said under my breathe, slamming my locker before strolling off to class.

I still could not believe that Nash had not even tried to resolve things or at least talk to me. I tried to convince myself that it was because he was nervous but as the days went by I realised it was just because he didn’t care anymore. If he ever really did in the first place.

I sat at the lunch table the following Friday with my friends. Yes I do have friends besides Nash. They were probably the only girls in the entire school that didn’t hate me for being with Nash. “(Y/n)” Melissa said waving her hand in front of my face, “"Hmm?” I said snapping back into the conversation. “Jesus Christ what’s with you lately? You’re so out of it” Melissa replied to me. “Leave the girl alone, she’s just been dumped” Sarah said casually.

“I wasn’t dumped” I protested, sitting up in my chair. “Okay..” She replied chuckling. “Whatever” I said getting up and walking out of the cafeteria. I wasn’t dumped, I told him to dump me. I was in control, I was always in control.

While all these thoughts were whirling around my head, I had accidentally ran into someone. “Oh shit sorry” I said looking up to the person. “Oh hi..” I said not recognising the person. “Hey I’m Shawn” He said half smiling down at me. “Are you new? I’ve never seen you around?” I asked him in a nervous tone. “Yeah today’s my first day” He said looking down at his shirt which I was clinging onto from earlier. “Oh sorry” I said laughing nervously as I let go of his shirt.

“It’s okay” He said laughing at me. “Anyways I guess I’ll see you around” I said walking away backwards. “Yeah definitely” Shawn said smirking at me as he turned around and headed the other way.