So, You Wanna Talk to Other Bloggers
We all have those bloggers or mutuals we adore, and we’d love to reach out and plant the seeds of a bomb-diggity friendship, but then the anxiety sets in… I’m not interesting! I’ll just be a bother! I’m sure they have better things to do! I feel you, trust me, I think most of us feel shy, awkward, or anxious trying to make friends or join in on conversations (welcome to tumblr, home of anxiety-ridden everyone). BUT NO LONGER SHALL WE KEEP TO OURSELVES, MY BRETHREN. Really, though, booklr needs to rise and the number one way to do that is through conversation, comments, and reaching out to make friends.
Here are some tips for overcoming that pesky social anxiety!
- Bloggers are just people! I don’t care how many thousands of followers they have, bloggers are all just people. I have a higher follower count, but I’m really just trying to manage adulthood without crying, like the majority of us. Whether they’re a super popular blogger or new on the scene, all of us are just people trying to live life, which really makes us all equal. We’re all on the same team so it’s okay to talk and reach out to one another <3
- Bloggers love hearing from others! I think most of us wouldn’t be here if we didn’t want to talk to anyone. I’m sure there’s a few of us who aren’t too concerned with being social, but numerous bloggers love seeing comments, getting messages, or having people join conversations. This is social media, meaning being social is expected and conversing is welcome! Nothing makes me more excited than hearing from others! I used to have a lot of interaction on this blog and I miss the community feel. I know I’m not alone. Don’t you want to hear from others too? We’re all ready to talk but one of us has to make the first step.
- Public platform. You’re watching a post as two bloggers discuss a book you love. You want to add something but… would that be butting in? NO. It’s not butting in. Blogging is public, all of this is out in the open. If people wanted others not to contribute, they’d have the conversation private on messenger! These conversations are out there, on your dash, and we’d love to hear what you’d add to the conversation!
- You are not annoying. Really, friend, this goes with “all of us are people”. You think you’re annoying? I think I’m annoying. We’re all our own harshest critics. Chances are if you send me a message, I’ll be too busy trying not to seem super lame while thinking you must wish you never instigated this conversation. Take a deep breath, remember your perceptions of yourself are often too critical and send that message or post that comment!
- Everyone is busy. Have you ever sent off a message and after a day or two of no response, you begin to deconstruct your message, noticing how ridiculous you are? No wonder they didn’t respond! I’m an idiot! Nope, nope, nope, you are not. We all have lives and sometimes that keeps us from responding right away. Don’t panic after reaching out and thinking you said the wrong thing. Nine times out of ten, people are just busy and haven’t got around to responding.
Okay, you think, I’ll try joining conversations or adding comments. But what if I want to shoot a message to someone but don’t know what to say!? Breaking the ice can be painful and if you’re not sure what to say, it can be a major roadblock to talking to someone. Here are some ideas:
- Talk about something the blogger recently posted! If a blogger just posted a photo/review/discussion/etc you really liked, it’s a great way to segue into friendship! Send them a message with your thoughts and build from there!
- Compliments! Everyone loves compliments! Is there something about this person you really like? Are they super nice? Do they take excellent photos? Do you rely on their book recommendations? Tell them! Telling someone you admire something they do are something about them is a great way to introduce yourself!
- Talk about books! THIS IS BOOKLR. We’re all obsessed and armpit deep in books we want to read and obsess over. Ask about their favorite book! Give them a recommendation! Talk about that new movie adaptation! Books are an easy start because we all love ‘em! So use that love to help you make friends!
- Be honest! I’m usually pretty frank with my messages. I’ll send someone an “I think you’re really cool and would love to be friends!” message and move from there. I now have several incredible friendships I’m immensely grateful for. It may seem awkward or blunt, but sometimes it’s easy just to be up front.
And remember, sometimes you just won’t click with people. Sometimes you’ll reach out to someone, the conversation fizzles and you don’t talk again. THAT’S OKAY! We’re all different and we’re all not going to become inseparable friends. If your attempt to reach out or talk doesn’t go anywhere, remember that it’s not you. And don’t let it stop you from trying again! Maybe the next conversation you join will introduce you to a lifelong pal! <3