i was supposed to make it a secret santa thing

anonymous asked:

can y'all pls update the public sex tag? i beg you!!!

you don’t have to beg, we’ve got you covered

Slippery When Wet by FiccinDylan (1/1 | 5,404 | NC17)

So can you write something with Derek having a unrestless oral fixation toward Stiles as he needs have the teen’s dick on his mouth and taste his cum ASAP. Stiles get a little bit annoyed by the greediness but he hop on board anyway cause he can’t deny Derek anything. Make it so shameless, slobbered and wet as you want. xD

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aka

Well, 99.9% of the time when you meet your mate, you forge a bond and there’s no problem, it’s all very generic and sweet with just a touch of heightened emotion.

And the other .10%?

Well… you’ll basically turn into a cockslut who craves the taste and tacky sensation of semen in and outside of you at pretty much all times of the day. But you won’t need to worry about that, it only occurs in like, 1 out of every trillionth person!

Fuck Derek’s life.

Lick Me Like You by milkysterek (1/1 | 1,397 | NC17)

The Sheriff was only a room away, visible through the open window that looked out over the pen whilst his only son deepthroated Derek from under a desk. If Derek wasn’t going to hell before, he sure was now.

Pleasing a Crowd by bad1ands (2/2 | 12,365 | NC17)

And here they are now. Conversing easily yet privately as if they’re the only two holding a secret. Eyeing each other as if they’re both wanting to create more.

(Derek’s wolf decides it wants to lay a claim on Stiles. At a New Year’s Eve party. In front of Jackson and Danny.)

Derek Hale From HR by nogitsune_lichen (1/1 | 2,877 | NC17)

“Derek? Fancy seeing you here! I was just-er, getting a new chair. I think mine has a squeaking problem so…yeah I’m just gonna take a chair and–”

The man closed the door with a soft click before holding up the Captain America sticky note with Stiles’ patented chicken scratch handwriting on it. Stiles gnawed on his lip, trying and failing to come up with some sly excuse. Instead he hung his head in defeat when Derek didn’t so much as say anything or make a move.

“Enough playing around; I dig you, and it’s your last day. Meet me in the abandoned closet at one,” Derek quoted, a hint of amusement in his tone.

Stiles sighed, “okay not the best choice of words, but it got you here didn’t it?”

“Yes it did,” Derek nodded before adding, “and I dig you too by the way.”

Originally posted for eternalstereksecretsanta 2016

I’m your Secret Santa, bet you can’t guess who by Marishna (1/1 | 2,172 | NC17)

It’s weird how things have a way of working out. How would a person know if the universe wasn’t just working on a massive set of coincidences or if the fates predestined things to work out a certain way?

Stiles honestly wasn’t sure which way he preferred to think of it. Whichever way didn’t make him out to be a huge pervert he supposed but he wasn’t sure which one that was.

Chasing After You by Ani_Imagine (1/1 | 1,971 | NC17)

Derek, who works as a deputy for BHPD, catches Stiles who’s speeding at 10 o'clock at night.

Sparks Chapter 14

Originally posted by ohh-bloodyhell

Pairing: Bucky(POV) X Reader(POV) ft. other characters from the avengers team

Word Count: 1.3K

Summary: You and Bucky hanging out binge watching twd. Bucky going out to buy you tampons when he sees you got your period.

A/N: This is a story about two people building a great friendship and then slowly falling in love. y/n is a strong, independent, and smart scientist. She meets Bucky when she wakes him up from cryo sleep and they become friends. This is going to have all the angst / best friends falling in love / fluff / drama / & eventual smut ;) that I can possibly fit in it. This fic is going to be looong! So far my document is like 40,000 words. So editing is hard If you catch any grammatical or formatting errors let me know.

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Dear Felicia (@thejilyship ), 

Merry Christmas and a wonderful 2017! Above all, however, a very happy Jily Secret Santa! I hope you like this. I decided to go with “anything canon where it’s that sweet spot right before they’re together but they both fancy each other and just don’t know that the other one fancies them”. I hope this makes you smile!

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“He’s going to ask her out.”

Who’s going to ask who out?”

“Pay attention.”

“You say so many things. How am I supposed to keep track of it all?“

"I never gossip, though.”

“But you’re gossiping now.”

“Well… yes, but that’s beside the point.”

“What were you talking about again?”

“You know. About him and that he’s asking her out.

“Dear Merlin… Lily, can you please explain who we’re talking about, so that I can be properly disgusted?”

“Do you ever listen to a word I say?”

“I listen plenty. I just tend to avoid listening to what is clearly dragon’s dung.”

“Well, this isn’t.”

“Prove it!”

“Could you put your quill down and look me in the eye?”

“I have to finish this essay.”

“Five minutes?”

“Ugh… okay…”

“Thank you, Marly!”

“So… who is asking out who?”

“Potter. He’s asking out Greengrass.”

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The First Annual Newschannel 6 Secret Santa

Summary:  Killian Jones is a sports anchor who has always played the field, until a few months ago, when a stunning blonde walks through the doors of Newschannel 6 WBOK as the new lead anchor. Emma Swan entered the doors of Newschannel 6 looking for a fresh start after an awful break-up, but one look at Killian Jones, and it throws a wrench in her plan. 

Rating: T (some language)  

Word Count: ~5100

Author’s Note: Merry Christmas, @notdonewithyou! I am your CS Secret Santa! I am so happy to have gotten to know you and that you have allowed me to create this. For those who don’t know, my husband is a sports anchor, so it’s about time I did this AU. I also created a banner for it :) Also: there’s a reference to one of my favorite modern AUs in this fic ;)

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Concise advice.

I’m in love with him and he isn’t in love with me. How do I get over him?

Walk away and do something else for as long as you need to. I recommend learning how to dispose of a body. Useful.

Do you think it’s worth doing something cutesy for a secret santa thing for someone I’ve liked for a long time now even though theyre in a relationship?

No. They’re in a relationship. You can choose not to respect or acknowledge or internalize that, but you’ll only wind up making yourself miserable.

I’m a 14 year old girl and I’m hella gay. The hell am I supposed do now. Nobody’s gay in my (small) town. It’s lonely.

Kiss a girl (who wants to kiss you). Find a community, even if it’s not in your town – the Internet is a beautiful thing with many people in it. Start a GSA or something at your school – I think you might be wrong about nobody but you being gay in your town, and in any case, sexuality is a spectrum. You could also distract yourself by taking down a drug kingpin. It’s only four years until college.

Hi I successfully infiltrated the LGBTQ community of my college. By mistake! My gay best friend took me to their parties and everbody thinks I’m hella gay. So now they want me to vote at their yearly election for representatives (and I already had to wave off being deployed for the damn job myself). What shall I do?! Thanks a lot, a fellow villian (maybe not so super)

Tell them you are not hella gay, but that you are supportive of their hella gayness. Apologize for any confusion. Allow them to decide your supervillain name.

There’s this boy I like and we had sex/and have been talking ever since. I’ve stayed at his house since and we’ve gotten closer but he still doesn’t want people to know about what’s happened/is happening between us. I don’t know what to do, I like him a lot but I don’t want to have to wait around and see if his serious about it or not or to find out his just talking to me because he feels guilty about us having sex or something like that?

Tell him that you feel this way. Don’t accept wishy-washy answers; make him take a stand. Say, “That’s not good enough,” when it’s not good enough. Note that people who want to keep you a secret are usually not doing so for any good reason, barring living in a place where being together could get either of you hurt; the person you are with should be glad they’re with you. Bring a cigar trimmer with you in case he’s mean. Even if you don’t use it, that’s a visual threat that isn’t easily forgotten.

DW Christmas headcanons

by professionaltimemeddler and I

  • Borusa would be shit at getting presents
  • Omega would undergo a matter/anti-matter annihilation hanging fairy lights on a tree
  • Romana would get perfect presents for everyone, obviously, but K-9 would ruin the surprise
  • ‘Mistress! Why have you placed Mistress Leela’s new knife within brightly coloured paper?’
  • Or Leela would make K-9 use his sensors to detect what’s in the boxes
  • the Mind Probe would be used
  • or hypnosis at least
  • Narvin would be utterly confused by the whole thing
  • 'Madame President! What EXACTLY is the point in us all pulling names from this ridiulous hat?’
  • 'It’s a secret Santa, co-ordinator! You have to get a gift for whoever you draw’
  • 'I have to waste valuable CIA time getting a *gift* for that obsequieous slimeball Chancellor Braxiatel??’
  • 'WHAT part of secret do you fail to grasp, Co-ordinator Narvin? I suppose this explains a LOT about the CIA’s performence of late, I suppose *sigh*’
2

oh my god. done by @helloemptyset bc i love their style.

this is janine. i’ve mentioned her before. she’s peanut’s administrative assistant. she’s the only one that truly sasses peanut. she keeps everything running in tip top shape. everything goes through her. if you’re talking to pea, it’s because you’ve already spoke to janine.

janine’s faeries are basically micro assistants. whatever janine doesn’t catch or notice on her tablet, her faeries note it, and inform her later.

she’s the motherly figure of the whole lair, as she is the eldest out of everyone + she enjoys doting on everyone.

things she makes sure happens:
- group birthday cards
- christmas decorations
- thank you cards
- secret santa
- dailies
- harassing people to make sure they get enough sleep and food
- manages suds n buds
- always makes sure there are fresh flowers everywhere where clients and guests will be

her favorite thing to do is edit peanut’s letters to clients and business associates because peanut is very crass and blunt.

peanut’s version: I read over your offer and two things! One, fuck you, and your offer. Two, do you know how business works? How the fuck am I supposed to make money if I work with someone like you? I’ll even give you a bonus answer. Three, do you think I’m a fool? Good goddamn day. Don’t waste my time.

janine’s version: I have reviewed your offer, and at this time I am going to have to decline your offer. I don’t think working together will be profitable for either of us. Thank you for trying to connect with us here at The Glitter Poppy. Have a good day. I wish you the best of luck with your business.

she’s really important to the every day workings of both the lair and business.

i’m gonna tag @tackysnaps because you put her in a top 6.

'The Office' Sentence Starters
  • “People keep calling me a wunderkid. I don’t even know what that means.”
  • “Prove it. Let’s see your penis!”
  • “I made a resolution to floss, and I did it. 12:01, January first, BAM! Blood everywhere.”
  • “I don’t talk trash, I talk smack. They’re totally different”
  • “This, is equal parts, scotch, absinthe, rum, gin, vermouth, triple sec, and two packs of Splenda. I call it a one of everything.”
  • “You would have left me to fend for myself. Like that time we were on the Ferris Wheel, and that kid dropped a milkshake on me, and you just laughed.”
  • “My point is, a penis, when seen, in the right context, is the most wonderful sight for a woman, but in the wrong context, it is like a monster movie.”
  • “I got myself as secret santa. I was supposed to tell somebody, but I didn’t.”
  • “Would you care to bang it out over lunch?”
  • “Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing.”
  • “Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car.”
  • “Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not that way. I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.”
  • “WHERE ARE THE TURTLES?!”
  • “Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. ‘Cause of your butt.”
  • “And you know what’s gonna be on your tombstone? 'Loser’.”
  • “You don’t know me, you’ve just seen my penis.”
  • “Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?”
  • “You are everything.”
  • “I go to the bathroom for 45 minutes and everything changes.”
  • “I have to say, I like hanging out with a vengeful bitch.”
  • “Our house is not kid friendly. Most of our furniture is sharp. Also, eww.”
  • “Not everybody has what we have.”
  • “Sometimes I wonder if I have ovaries in my scrotum, because I am great at girl talk.”
  • “You may not cancel his soul.”
  • “I wanna be wined, dined, and 69ed.”
  • “Do you shower at night? Or do you shower in the morning? 'Cause I wanna shower when you’re showering…save some water.”

anonymous asked:

This has taken me forever, but i am finally here to discuss perfect vs. wayf. I know it's supposed to be about taylor swift, but i feel in general perfect just describes how harry is with everyone. like this is exactly the type of person he is. everyone gets way more attached to him than he does to them. therefore i am applying it to styfford. okay, the first thing i noticed was they both discuss midnight. michael sings about meeting at midnight and harry likes midnight driving. which leads

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Secret Santa for mmoriartyyy.

Sorry it took so long, it was supposed to be done days ago but my laptop has been having trouble with the heat and Gimp just would not cooperate with my new tablet.

Anyway Happy Holidays :)