i was struck by how mature they were about it all

i have thought a lot about censorship and what is “appropriate”. not a lot of people know this, but lolita was written to show what we allow on our bookshelves: there being no swear words in it meant it was free from censorship. a book about child molestation was allowed because it didn’t explicitly use the word “fuck”. he wrote it to show we don’t really care about protecting children, and it ended up being seen as a romance.

someone once told me - actually, many people have - that lgbt content isn’t appropriate for children. any content. not just kissing. i’m drowned in questions: “won’t the parents have to explain it?” “kids shouldn’t be thinking about sex at this age, or do you think differently?” “what will the kids think?”

at six i saw disney movies. people kiss and get married. i didn’t ask “what does that mean.” i didn’t ask “are those people going to have sex?” i didn’t ask anything, because i was six, and no six year old thinks twice about these things. nobody ever “explained” being straight to me, it was a fact, and it existed, and i was fine with that. why would being gay require a thesis, i wonder.

someone once told me that the one of the reasons people hate lgbt individuals is because they can’t see us as anything but sexual. we’re not people, so much as sinners. that they don’t see love, they see sex. just sex. it’s perversion, not a matter of the heart. only of the body.

i think i was in my early twenties before i saw someone like me. 

how old were you, though, before you saw violence? before you saw sexual assault on tv? i think something like that is only pg-13, and if it’s implied, they can get away with anything. i remember watching things and learning about blood, but knowing sex - sex was what was really wrong. sex was always rated r. sex was always kind of a bad word. i was told a lot that i wasn’t ready.

i had a dream last night that i made a site where people could ask any question they wanted about sex and get answered by a professional. it was shut down in moments because 15 year olds wanted to know if it should hurt, if “double-bagging” was a real thing, if this, if that. we shudder. don’t let the children know about that! 

but at thirteen i had seen enough violence it no longer struck me. i couldn’t say “fuck” but i knew that if you break your femur, you can bleed out internally in under half an hour. in school i wasn’t allowed to write about loving girls because what would the administration think - but i could write about wanting to kill myself and people would say how lovely, how blistering.

i have thought a lot about censorship. sometimes people on this site try it with me: don’t write this, don’t be so nasty. some of it is intrinsic. we know as people with a uterus not to complain about “that time of the month”, we know better than to talk about sexual assault (how shameful), we know that talking about a vagina is somehow scandalous. i can say “dick” and nobody questions me. some people only refer to the bottom half of me by “pussy”. they won’t wrap a mouth around “vagina” like it’s poison to them. even discussing this, that the language halts, that there’s an intrinsic desire to say “girls” instead of “women” - feels naughty, illicit. not for children.

the other day someone suggested i make my blog 18+. i said, okay, it deals a lot with depression and other problems that might be for a mature audience. oh no, they said, that’s not it, i think that’s helpful. i said, okay. so what is it then. well, you’re gay. you write about loving women. and i said, i don’t write about sex often and they said. it’s not about the sex. but wlw isn’t for a general audience. teenagers aren’t ready.

oh.

lolita is recommended for high school and up. i think about that a lot. i know girls who love it, who say it speaks to them on a deep level. it’s beautiful prose, after all. that was the whole point of the novel. something that looked like a rose but was intrinsically awful. i think about how if i was a model they’d want me to look young, thin, prepubescent. how my body would be sold and how through the mall i walk by images of barely-clothed women while mothers cannot breastfeed in public without fear of retribution. 

i think about how i can write a novel about violence and it will be pg-13 but if my characters say “fuck” twice it’s inappropriate. i said fuck three times so far in this post, which makes it only appropriate for adults. 

i think about that, and how my identity is something that people suggest lines up with a swear word. that people shouldn’t talk about it. that it’s a vulgarity. bad for children, harsh, confusing.

fuck. i love women. which one makes this only for those over eighteen.

The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas

From The Wind’s Twelve Quarters: Short Stories by Ursula Le Guin


With a clamor of bells that set the swallows soaring, the Festival of Summer came to the city Omelas, bright-towered by the sea. The rigging of the boats in harbor sparkled with flags. In the streets between houses with red roofs and painted walls, between old moss-grown gardens and under avenues of trees, past great parks and public buildings, processions moved. Some were decorous: old people in long stiff robes of mauve and grey, grave master workmen, quiet, merry women carrying their babies and chatting as they walked. In other streets the music beat faster, a shimmering of gong and tambourine, and the people went dancing, the procession was a dance. Children dodged in and out, their high calls rising like the swallows’ crossing flights, over the music and the singing. All the processions wound towards the north side of the city, where on the great water-meadow called the Green’ Fields boys and girls, naked in the bright air, with mudstained feet and ankles and long, lithe arms, exercised their restive horses before the race. The horses wore no gear at all but a halter without bit. Their manes were braided with streamers of silver, gold, and green. They flared their nostrils and pranced and boasted to one another; they were vastly excited, the horse being the only animal who has adopted our ceremonies as his own. Far off to the north and west the mountains stood up half encircling Omelas on her bay. The air of morning was so clear that the snow still crowning the Eighteen Peaks burned with white-gold fire across the miles of sunlit air, under the dark blue of the sky. There was just enough wind to make the banners that marked the racecourse snap and flutter now and then. In the silence of the broad green meadows one could hear the music winding through the city streets, farther and nearer and ever approaching, a cheerful faint sweetness of the air that from time to time trembled and gathered together and broke out into the great joyous clanging of the bells.

full text below  

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Take It Like A Puppy (M)

Originally posted by jaayhope

Summary: You and Hoseok have been best friends since you were young. Your friendship with him, was struck as odd since you were a cat hybrid, while he was a dog hybrid. But that didn’t matter, that is until you both start attending university. What happens when one of you unexpectedly goes into heat?

Pairing: Jhope x Reader

Genre: Smut (M), hybrid!au, Cat hybrid reader, Dog hybrid Jhope

Word Count : 5.5k

A/N: This story contains graphic descriptions of sex, cum play, bondage, oral, etc. Heavy dom/sub undertones. Lmao this is just a sinful read. I’m a sucker for hybrid aus, so i had to make one ;) Anywho, this is a mature read! You have been warned!



You’ve known Hoseok since you were nine years old. At the time, you were just a quiet little kitten, who didn’t have many friends. Hoseok, was an annoying hyperactive puppy, who everybody adored in your class. He didn’t really bother you that much, until you became desk partners. That’s when he thought it was okay to pop your ‘personal space bubble’ and sniff you, every second he got.


“Why do you keep trying to smell me!” the nine-year-old you shouted. This was the third time you caught him in the act, ever since you became seat mates a week ago.

“I’m part canine! That’s what we always do!” Hoseok explained, with a smile on his face. He didn’t really know you that much, only that you were always super quiet. But he wanted to change that, he wanted a feline as a friend for once.

“Well can you stop? Its kinda weird,” you replied uncomfortably.

Including you, there were only two other cat hybrids in your class, the rest were a split between bunny, dog, and fox hybrids. Thus, you were extremely uncomfortable with this puppy trying to get up all in your space. Besides, you were quite afraid of dog hybrids since they could become aggressive easily.

“No, you’re weird,” the puppy joked.

You finally turn to glare at him, then let a hiss seethe through your teeth.

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anonymous asked:

Hi!! Do you have any "five times" fic recs? I see them sprinkled everywhere but I would LOVE to see them all in one place, because they're my favorite!! Thank you so much

What a great request! I absolutely adore these fics! Thank you!

Originally posted by oikaawa-san


Five Times (5+1) Fics


Five Times Viktor Got Jealous (and the one time Yuuri noticed) by braveten, Teen, 10k
Before now, Viktor hadn’t realized that he was the jealous type. What an interesting revelation. Must read!

Five Times Phichit Takes Embarrassing Photos of Yuuri by cutthroatpixie, Gen, 4.9k
A series of short stories telling the story behind embarrassing pictures of Yuuri. Definitely recommend!

5 Hidden Talents of Yuuri Katsuki (And one not so hidden) by Fangirlshrewt97, Gen, 16k
There are only a few days to the Victuuri wedding so all the skaters have joined our favorite couple at Hatsetsu in the days leading up to it. During their stay, they all learn some new things about the Japanese skater that they had previously not known. OMG LOVE!

Ten Days of Perfect Tunes, the Colors Red and Blue by ken_ichijouji (dommific), Explicit, 7.9k
The five times Victor tried to deepen his relationship with Yuuri, getting blocked in the process, and the one time it finally went the way it should. Great fic!

Unworthy by heartsdesire456, Teen, 6.5k
5 Times Victor Overheard People Saying Yuuri Wasn’t Good Enough For Him and 1 Time Someone Told Him Yuuri Was Too Good For Him. Cute!

Five Times Viktor and Yuuri Were Jealous of Makkachin (and the one time they weren’t) by braveten, Teen, 6.4k
Viktor and Yuuri are jealous of Makkachin on multiple occasions, but the adorable brown poodle might be the only way to get them to realize their love for one another.

Going Down in History by ivelostallcontrolofmylife, Mature, 6.4k
Viktor Nikiforov has absolutely no self control and a penchant for bad pickup lines. AKA Five Times Viktor Shamelessly Flirted With and Embarrassed Yuuri in Public, and the One Time He Got His Ass Absolutely Owned. OMG HAHA I LOVE THIS!

5 Times Yuuri Tried to Kiss Victor + 1 Time he Did by kireiflora, Gen, 7.2k
Yuuri has always wanted to kiss Victor, and he has, many times since he burst into his life, but there are five attempts that stick out most. And the most important one that actually happened. SO FRICKIN’ CUTE OMG

Oh My Lord, I’ve Been Blessed by Herperlo_D, Teen, 2.5k
Five times Viktor was struck dead by Yuuri’s killer thighs and the one time he did something about it. Thick thighs save lives, especially Victor’s!!

5 Annoying Things About Being Married To Victor by heartsdesire456, Teen, 5.9k
+1 thing that never gets old, no matter how much annoying stuff Yuuri has to put up with. Do you ever just want to cry because a fic is so perfect?? This is one of those fics

Exceeding Expectations by asocialfauxpas (fuzzytomato), Explicit, 8.3k
5 times Yuuri and Viktor failed at sex and one time they didn’t. Thumbs up!

Five Times Yuuri Katsuki Freaked Out About Living with Viktor Nikiforov (and the One Time It Was Viktor’s Turn) by Ame (Ulan), Teen, 7k
Viktor could not help his wide smile. Life with Yuuri in Saint Petersburg was off to a great start. He was happy; he was excited. He had never felt anything more wonderful and overwhelming and amazing in his life. Which probably meant that Yuuri was off somewhere, feeling the same, and freaking out. LOOOOOOVE!

The Bedroom of a Skater by PippinSqueaks, Gen, 2.3k
5 times Victor snuck into Yuuri’s bedroom and the one time he didn’t have to. So fluffy!

Your Love Is More Than Worth Its Weight In Gold by youaresunlight, Mature, 3.5k
Five times Victor and Yuri kiss after the Grand Prix Final, and one time it leads to more. Definitely recommend!

A Message to Your Heart by cutthroatpixie, Gen, 1.8k
5 times Yuuri leaves Viktor a note + 1 time Viktor returns the favour. Love! Bonus angsty Yurio!!!

5 Times Soulmate Marks Made Things Easier by Teabagger, Gen, 9.7k (WIP)
And one time they really, really didn’t. Six different soulmate mark short stories! Must read!

Going Down in History by ivelostallcontrolofmylife, Mature, 6.4k
Five Times Viktor Shamelessly Flirted With and Embarrassed Yuuri in Public, and the One Time He Got His Ass Absolutely Owned. Rec’d by a follower!

[TRANS] NYLON Magzine April Issue with NCT 127 — Ment

TAEIL
“When I was a high school student, I somewhat wanted to become a zookeeper. Since I really like animals, I wanted to take care of the animals in my neighbourhood. But after a bit of research, I gave up. The competition rate is high. Somehow, I became an idol where the competition is even more intense, haha. There are two happiest moments in my life, when I passed the SM Audition and when it was confirmed that I will debut with NCT. When I passed the audition, I was so happy I screamed, and when it was confirmed that I will debut, I bursted into tears. Especially when they confirmed my debut, really… I cried and cried until my eyes were puffy. Do you understand this feeling? It’s like there is a clear, bright flamelight somewhere over there, I know there is a bright world, but I feel like I’m just as in the dark as before. I have lived as a trainee for about three years and a half, every day I had this feeling, the moment it was announced that I am going to debut, it was like crawling out of a lonely tunnel. A world filled with bright and golden light, as if El Dorado unfolded in my life. That was a year ago, but even to this day, I still feel good and bewildered. Sometimes when I go on holidays, it really amazes me how on the streets and in shops I go to, there are people who recognise me. I am still inexperienced and I will work hard. Until I am like ‘Super Junior’s Kyuhyun Hyung… I envy his calm personality as well as his sweet voice and abilities. I also want to have his sense of security (stability). It would be a sense of security to be able to have both experience and skill. “

JOHNNY
“I am Johnny from Chicago. Compared to New York, Chicago is quieter and more relaxed. It’s a city where nothing is too hasty but not overly relaxed, this is why I like Chicago. The fact that I come from Chicago is very important, doesn’t the environment shape a person? I want to be someone who will never forgot where they come from, and I try to keep my wish. I’ve been living in Korea for four to five years now. It feels like I have matured a bit after living in Korea for a while. During this time, I have learned to not only think about myself and to respect the grown-ups. It also made me reflect on the importance of ‘myself’. Idols live in the eyes of others and are obligated to live up to their standards. Under such environments, to avoid losing focus, I have to remember who I am. I constantly think about the questions ‘who am I?’ and ‘what kind of person am I?’. I, Johnny, like DJing and playing the piano. I also wish to become a warm (kind) person, and someone who gives other people strength. My ultimate goal is to become a person who, even though is standing still, can still show their great personality. I am still very much flawed, but please believe that I will become that person. “

TAEYONG
“It’s NCT’s leader, Taeyong. NCT127 gave me a lot. I got a job called (being an) idol, I came into the company and met a lot of nice adults, most of all, I made a lot of friends. To me, the members are my best friends. Although I am the leader, rather than me leading the members, there are more times when they helped me. When I was young, I could paint and play the piano, I had a good reputation for expressing myself, and I often received praises, but it wasn’t easy for me to get close to people quickly. Do you like films by Studio Ghibli? I really like them, but the main characters in these films, why are they slightly different from others, they live alone and are lonely, but if you get to know, they are all good people. I’m talking about characters like Howl in ‘Howl’s Moving Castle’. I think I’m that kind of character, after we became NCT I have eight friends. I am grateful. Still, the times that I spend alone are also very important to me. Therefore, no matter how busy I am, when schedules finish I go to the training room alone and dance or practice singing and tidy my thoughts. I think that having time alone has the power of helping me grow and endure the pressure of busy schedules and life as an entertainer. It is my goal to continue to express the days I have lived, the days a youth lived, through rap and music, and after gaining a lot of experience and knowledge, I have a dream of becoming an adult. I want to be a real grown-up who can help and guide the way for the juniors.”

YUTA
“I have this phrase I always say whenever I introduce myself “I’m manly mountain man Yuta”. I really like mountains. In Japanese, the pronunciation of ‘mountain’ and 'top’ is the same. That’s why I’m manly mountain man Yuta. Ah, I really like mountains. Before debut, whenever there was time to spare, I used to go to Bukhansan, Namsan-dong and every mountain in Seoul City alone, whether big or small. Whenever I’m at the mountains, my mind feels like it has been cleaned and I feel at ease. I thought of becoming a singer because of TVXQ sunbaenim. I wanted to become a soccer player when I was young. But after watching TVXQ, everything changed. They were really cool and they felt like gods to me… But after debuting, it’s harder than I thought it would be. Above all,  there’s no free time, I don’t have time to go to my favorite mountains anymore… One day when I was in a lot of stress I asked our EXO sunbaenim “Until when will this be hard?” they answered it will take three years to give up everything and I firstly will need work to my fullest. That advice gave me strength, I thought 'Ah, our Hyungs also went through a lot of hardship’  and this made my heart feel more at ease.
But whenever I’m tired, I’d like to watch sports documentaries. Soccer players in the A-League have to repeat the same strategy for years to improve their own skill. When I look at it, I think of their 'professional spirit’ and I want to become a person like that too. After all, everything is a fight against yourself. Whenever I don’t feel like practicing or just want to laze around. I think it’s important to keep pushing myself. Like this, I want to keep moving forward one step at a time. It’s just like climbing a mountain.”

DOYOUNG
I have an episode (story) that shows well what kind of person I am. When I was in elementary school I wanted to eat an ice cream so I went and bought it but
a car had rolled over my legs. But, I never let go of my ice cream for even one moment. Even when going to the hospital and arriving in the emergency room, I still held on to my ice cream tightly. In the end, I couldn’t eat my ice cream because it all melted. But this shows that when there’s a thing I really like, I tend to only think about that thing. Right now, I’m struck by our team’s music. The music I can do alone and the music and voices I can do when the 9 of us are together are definitely different. Nowadays, I think a lot about what kind of music our team would fit best. I don’t want to do just common things. Music is a 'proof of existence’ to me. Since I was young, I really liked singing but my parents never really told me 'good job’. To prove my ability, I started to participate in singing competitions. And when I was in high school, I went to the singing contest hosted by the province and got the first prize. That’s when my family started to acknowledge my singing ability. Since then, music has always seemed to give me a feeling of “this is it.” I don’t really have a role model, but I want to be a vocalist who can be recognized after singing just a single line. Like Adam Levine or Lyn sunbaenim. By the way, do you know Lyn’s song 'Love U. . Love U’? You should have a listen. It’s a song accompanied by a piano with delicate vocals

JAEHYUN
“ When I was young, at home I would frivolously laugh well and would have a talkative personality but strangely at school words wouldn’t come out. I’m also shy and somehow felt like I should stay quiet too… That’s why I spent a lot of time alone and my 4th grade elementary school teacher recommended extracurricular activities. I then realized the joy of standing in front of people for the first time doing variety of activities. I think the joy I felt at that time made me do it today. In fact, it’s still nice and fun to be standing in front others and not being burdened. However, it’s hard when I’m not as strong as I expect. Even if you practice but your skills don’t change, do something else. If you can’t dance, sing, when singing falls into a slump, you can watch a movie… Then a moment to be okay will come. I realized as I went many time through that process that I was interested in dancing, singing, movies and so on. That’s what I’m all about. Eventually, it’s obvious but it’s true that you have to be a good person to be a great artist. Being known is nice and receiving love is nice too but I want to be a better person. Someone who doesn’t deceive, someone who is confident of himself. And after a decade, he continues to endlessly finding out what he likes diligently, I want to be someone who continues to enjoy. A person who doesn’t lose his enthusiasm for what he does, that’s the kind of person I find cool. “ \

WINWIN
“ I’m Winwin from China. I have a deep fear of strangers. I’m also more of the shy type. However, if we’re close then I’m a completely different person. I play around a lot… NCT members all tease me for being a “heodang” (T/N: someone who looks perfect but acts stupid) Ah, furthermore! I am a smart person. When me or any of my friends have problems, I can solve them all! Don’t believe me? It’s for real. When my friends encounter problems they always find me first. Because of school, starting from middle school I had to leave my family in Wenzhou to go to Beijing alone. Compared to other people my age, I think I’ve developed a better ability to control and cope with situations. Therefore I was able to adjust to life in Korea without difficulty. I’ve been in Korea for a year and a half and met a lot of cool people. EXO’s Lay hyung is one of them. Dancing and singing, he is good at them both but besides that Lay hyung has a charisma that’s unexplainable in words. I want to also have my own kind of charm someday. My story, what else? Someday I want to act. I’m confident I can cooly play a the lead character in a film about everyday life. Also, I like R&B… my favorite song? I’ll let you know next time. If I tell you too much about me, the charm will be gone! “

MARK
I have a lot of laughter. I laugh about things that don’t make sense and when I was young, I was a kid with a lot of high spirits. Nonetheless, isn’t it more pleasant to be positive rather than depressed? I started <High School Rapper> with a cheerful mind. I did not come with the thought of wanting to compete and win the first place. The thought of wanting to learn was bigger. But when I went out, it was more stimulating than I thought. It’s also a place where I can see the talents of kids of my age around the country, and there are a lot of great friends. Above all, I have already debuted and come from a huge company. I have a lot of people who can help me and guide me. However, these kids who came out there in the competition are alone and they practice alone, I really respect that courage and will. At first, when it started, it was good to have fun, but I have to work hard too, as far as I can. I rap a lot for the team (NCT) but now it seems a bit funny to separate myself from being a rapper or a singer. From now on, without being bound to one restricted area, I want to be an artist who makes good songs and expresses them. Like Michael Jackson’s 'Man in the Mirror’, I want to create a song that is bright and is hopeful for people. The kind of music that can have a good influence on the world. That is my dream.

HAECHAN
“I’m NCT 127’s youngest Haechan. I’m in charge of being the 'cutie boy’, haha, these are not my words but the hyungs. The Hyungs really adore me a lot. Instead of giving you a common introduction, I will tell you the songs of my life. The first one is 'Hello’ by Huh Gak sunbaenim. Since I was young, I liked this song a lot. My parents both play music so naturally, I thought I would also definitely play music too. And one day, my mom came and said: “there’s an audition, let’s give it a go”. I went with a light heart and thought of having fun but unexpectantly, I passed the audition in one try. The song I sang at that time was 'Hello’ from Huh Gak sunbaenim. That’s how I got through the auditions and started my trainee life. I didn’t really know at the time but I seemed to hit puberty when I was fifteen. My mood swings were pretty severe. Whenever I cried, I would go to a dark room and listen to 'She’s Out of My Life’ or `You Are Not Alone’. It was Michael Jackson who seemed to have protected me during my puberty. Also, more important than any other song of my life is NCT’s debut song 'Fire Truck’. I was dazed and confused when I recorded the song, but listening to it now I realize it’s a great song. I think 'Fire Truck’ will be my song of life until I die. When I look back, I think about all the other debuted teams when we debuted and watched the sunbaenims who had already debuted. The teams, who made their debut together with us, were also very good and talented. I thought that 'I cannot hold too much hope, if we don’t work hard enough we will be buried (underneath the other teams)’ and worked even harder after our debut. I’m practicing these days to improve singing and dancing. Although I still lack a lot, I will do well. I’ll have more confidence in myself.”

Translation: Teddy, Selin, Rini, Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: NYLON April Issue

Please take out with full credit

Touka and Kaneki a Step in the Right Direction

Touka and Kaneki are two characters in Tokyo Ghoul that in many ways have created a chemical reaction. Sometimes they are able to come together and make something useful but other times they cause an explosion. Touka and Kaneki are two characters who are similar but have reacted to their world differently. 

They are both lonely being raised by a single parent after the sudden death of the other, and the parent who raised them left permanent scars. Touka was raised by a hypocrite who told her that humans were to be cherished as he killed them behind her back. He would later leave home one night and never come home leaving Touka to develop abandonment issues, as she never felt good enough to keep her father around. She also kept her fathers lessons close to her heart and whenever she strayed she thought of herself as a monster.

Kaneki was raised by a mother who treated him kindly with conditions, as long as he was quiet and a good boy she treated him fine. But god forbid he acted like a normal child and didn’t think of his mothers issues he was abused. Then on top of that his mother died so suddenly that he felt abandoned and his foster family in his aunt made him a recluse which made him feel worse. Kaneki also carried around the twisted message of letting himself get hurt for the sake of others.

Touka and Kaneki grew from this so differently, Touka turned bitter towards that life before she was able to examine herself, and find peace with her lifestyle. Kaneki on the other hand internalized his frustrations acting like he was at piece with his life on the outside, but he was tearing himself apart on the inside. They developed opposite of each other, as Touka matured Kaneki fell apart. They worked so well together in the beginning because in the first part of tg they had similar development. Kaneki and Touka were trying to figure out what it meant to be a ghoul. Kaneki was trying to learn what his new life of a ghoul had for him, and Touka was learning that she could live a normal life away from the violent circle of hatred. Their paths meshed together so they grew together until a the same sunlight in a way.

However, as much as they grew together, they also grew closer together, the more their faults started to creep up on them both. Touka wanted to protect Kaneki because he was once human. But as Touka did that Kaneki became more concerned and decided to protect her at the cost of himself.

But in Kaneki’s need to protect her he hit her weakest emotional cord, abandonment. He told her he wasn’t going to go home with her, and told her she couldn’t help him and asked Tsukiyama and Banjou to go with him in front of her. All her childhood insecurities came back in that moment, she wasn’t good enough and it hurt her.

It was at this point that they developed separate from each other, where Touka became a normal high school girl and Kaneki became a serial killer and gang boss. They developed into two completely different paths and they didn’t know how to approach each other. When they met up again it showed through their conversation which inevitably resulted in Kaneki lying about being fine and Touka hitting him and telling him he hates how he changed. This exact moment triggered both of their childhood trauma’s. Touka with her issues of her not being good enough for her father and how he couldn’t confide in her. Causing her to lash out against everything he taught her, and Kaneki with his abuse and him doing exactly what she wanted from him.

However, because of the Anteiku raid they never got to reconcil, so thus three years go by and Kaneki is reborn as Haise. They developed apart and had a fresh start as Touka the waitress and Haise the investigator. This is so important because this is the time that without the burden of a past they fell for each other. This taught Touka a very important lesson, that she cares for Kaneki enough to let him go, but that she still cares for him and that not every change in him is bad. Kaneki learned that he has a permanent home in Touka one that she won’t take away based on conditions because even after she said she hated his change she gave him a place to return.

Then Kaneki changed again to a highly suicidal Kaneki, willing to die to be cool, to protect others. He hit his lowest low of the series and it was in that moment Touka said three words the struck him “See you later.” which he thought was cruel because he wanted to die. Touka knew but wanted him to understand the meaning of that and it caused him to hesitate to doubt, which lead to him making a change of heart during their fight with Arima. 

Kaneki and Touka are two characters that develop off of each other, they bring out the best and worst in each other. They both hit cords in each other, but they also can heal wounds that they never realized they had. This conversation between them in this chapter is an important example of that. Touka admits her man issue with Kaneki, which is the fact that he always leaves her. Something she never understood and something she keeps trying to fix to no avail. Then he tells her that it was to protect her, because he didn’t want to cause her trouble where she would end up dead.

 Then he asked her to come with him, which filled the void that she had for so long. Touka also helped fill one for Kaneki as well, which was his loneliness. I’m not saying that Touka is a cure for his problems but through her confession she showed him that she cared. Which shocked him like he couldn’t even believe, that someone cared for him.

I think that the most amazing thing that even if he doesn’t accept the feelings romantically its important for him to know. Kaneki isn’t in any shape or form mentally to be with someone, he’s someone living for the moment holding onto a fragile string to survive. But for someone who has craved being loved for so long, it’s something he needed to here, that someone accepts him with his faults and respects his decision for death even if they don’t agree and don’t want him to die.

This is so important because Touka and Kaneki have reached the moment where they realized the mistakes that they made that caused the other hurt. They were able to talk about it and reach a positive note for both of them, and I excited with how this will help them develop positively moving forward. 

Ok. I need to talk about this. It just occured to me that this is the only time they actually behaved truly “immature” towards each other. See, it took me a while to think about, and I could never quite put my finger on what exactly it was that I thought fascinated me about the particular way in which the Anne/Gilbert relationship was adapted in this version. Casting is great of course, as is their chemistry, no need to argue about that. But what the writers did here, with all their changes and alterations, additions and partly really flying off the canon big time and into AU-land…they made both Anne and Gilbert seem more ‘adult’ than they actually are, also in relation to one another. The books and all other adaptations hint at the romantic potential of the Anne/Gilbert conflict from the beginning…only it is usually a childish, boys-annoying-girls-girls-pretending-to-be-peeved kind of elementary school dynamic. Anne 2017 is of course altogether more “mature” and realist, with the realities of life back in the days shown more starkly and the timeless realities of adolecence and teenage life struggles also being shown in a pleasantly frank way (period talk, the mouse in the pants, etc.)

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the older i get the creepier it seems to me when men make a big deal of how young a woman is. when i was young it seemed normal for men to mention she’s nineteen with that certain type of eyebrow move, that knowing look passed between them. it seemed normal because i felt mature; i was mature in all accounts - twenty-five year olds who called me attractive were just stating the obvious. i remember the summer of my eighteenth year being drunk by a river - and having a man tell me i was the perfect age.

it is frightening to me that twenty-five is when women stop being considered attractive, that thirty is “old”. it is frightening. a girl at nineteen is still a teenager. i think often of the men in movies who have kissed women literally half their age and i wonder - how can that be enjoyable? you have her entire lifetime, doubled. she could be your daughter. 

the most telling i think is the way they act when they find out my face - so close to that of me at eighteen - is a lie. that i’m older than they think. they recoil as if i struck them. they find another fish to hunt.

maybe it’s me and how sensitive i am about everything. but i see eighteen year olds and at twenty-three i am already wondering how i didn’t notice that older men are predatory. how i didn’t notice that there’s a time stamp on my beauty. how i didn’t notice how incredibly creepy the fascination with eighteen is; how odd it is that the fixation on skinny lends itself to looking that same underdeveloped age, innocent and fresh. how did i not see this.

Title: we’ll be alright this time
Summary: This is how Sasuke Uchiha falls in love.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto.
Prompt: First Love
Rating: K
A/N: It’s ssmonth guys sobs. I’m a lil late but it’s ok.


It starts in the hospital, the first week into his return. Sasuke is bedridden, confined to a too-white room, still bruised in blacks and blues—but the worst of his wounds have healed for the most part, courtesy of Sakura’s gentle healing hands.

Sakura.

She’s here a lot, he realizes, as each day passes by; not just with him, but in the halls of the hospital and the adjacent rooms, too, treating tired shinobi wounded in war and still-frightened civilians trying to recover from it all. The smile to her lips never ceasing, she doesn’t seem to miss out on any pressing matter, doesn’t actually seem to leave these walls at all—and if Sasuke didn’t so often catch her dozing in the armchair at his bedside, he might even think she never sleeps, either.

And yet, despite her busy schedule, Sakura always finds the time to offer him a visit every day.

Something in him softens at the thought.

“You’re healing very well, Sasuke-kun,” she says to him, one day, as time dictates it necessary to have his bandages changed yet again. “I’m actually pretty surprised. Are you sure you don’t have a hidden tailed beast somewhere inside you helping to patch you up?”

The query is a teasing one—something that Sasuke has yet to grow used to, when it comes to Sakura. She’d always been so shy when it came to him, Sasuke remembers from their years before, so sweet and pure, and eager to impress him; whatever brashness she held inside had only ever been expressed with anger towards their blond best friend whenever he did something she didn’t like—which was often. But the woman that stands here before him now is different, despite in some ways still being the same; kind, and bright, she smiles and jibes playful remarks, seemingly unafraid to make a fool of herself… or, perhaps, driven with a confidence that she can make him smile, too.

Sasuke honestly doesn’t know what to say about that.

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endurance

pairing: chanyeol x reader

genre: angst ft a tiny bit of fluff

words: 10.7k

description: you’re in love with chanyeol. you know. his girlfriend knows. the universe knows. does he?

Originally posted by scartic

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nell411  asked:

I don't remember which blog you posted about this on, but on one of your blogs you mentioned a theory that it was actually Jeremiah that encouraged Kara to hide her powers and act normal not Eliza. Having just finished season 1 again, seeing the references to the past and what I remember of season 2, since I've only rewatched the first 2 episodes so far, I can totally see how that would make sense and if you ever post the details of that theory I would read the shit out it.

I think I mentioned it here at some point? Maybe. I have talked about it with @ultranos​ and with @motorcyclegirlfriends​ a couple of times.

It’s not really a *theory* in that I think it is the One True Way to read the family dynamics, it’s just … an interpretation of canon that nobody’s really considered that is both interesting and frighteningly easy to spin into a plausible headcanon.


The starting point is Alex.

Namely, it’s the fact that Alex is not a reliable narrator when it comes to any member of her immediate family.

She admits repeatedly in S1 that her own insecurities and jealousy toward Kara colored her perception of their relationship for years. She spent the better part of a decade inaccurately reading her relationship with Eliza, again because her insecurities clouded her judgment.

So, if Alex wasn’t seeing Kara or Eliza clearly for all those years, why should we expect her assessment of Jeremiah to be accurate, either?

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Are You Mine?

Summary: Teaching was never Dan’s dream job. It’s just something he kind of stumbled into, but after working at Greenbrook Secondary for two years, he finds himself loving everything about it. Except for maybe the feelings he’s having for one of his students.

Genre: Smut with feels

Word count: 8,067

Kinks: Student/Teacher, hickeys, a lil bit of dirty talk, fucking to Arctic Monkeys (it’s a kink, I swear)

Notes: This is a request from my friend @jinx279. I hope it suffices after the long ass time I made you wait.

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Relentless | Calum Hood Series Pt.1

                                              Part O N E 

Request: Being the cousin of Ashton Irwin was exciting, especially when invited to their tour to hang out with his best friends. You found yourself becoming fond of Calum Hood, who finds you annoying from your constant appearance. But what would happen if you stopped giving him that attention?

Word Count: 3k+

A/N: ah, the first part of my very first series!! I hope you all enjoy and please do reblog a ton so more people can enjoy it! Thank you all for the support and I truly hope you enjoy xx OH also!! depending on how many notes this first part gets, ill resume this series steadily

Parts: onetwo, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nineten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. [DONE]  

                                              I M A G I N E 

LONDON, 13:05 P.M.

“Are you sure this is really okay, Ashton?” You mumbled, uncertainty playing at your voice as you tightly held the latch of your luggage. Your cousin, Ashton Irwin, looked back at you, giving you a smirk before he kept looking forward. 

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What the f*ck did you do, Y/N? (Bucky X Reader) Part 1

Relationship: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Rated: Mature (For a later SMUT scene)

Genre: Romance/Comedy

Triggers/Warnings: Parents death, fighting, reader gets a little hurt physically, explicit sexual scene (in part 3), explicit use of obscene words. (let me know if you find others I should mention)

Summary: Bucky and the reader and not on good terms but in a turn of events, they swap bodies for a while. Stuff happen.

A/N: I don’t even know. I just wanted to write this….. I hope somebody likes it. It will have 3 chapters. Also, this is my first post so I’m nervous. Enjoy. Feedback is appreciated.

Chapter 1

Originally posted by kelsyryannisalion


When you came from work that night and found a dark shadow sitting on your couch, feet crossed you were scared. When you turned on the light and saw that it was Tony Stark you grew frightened. Because if he was there, it only meant one thing: He knew. He knew about your “special” ability. You spent your entire life trying to hide it. You knew about the Avengers and that more and more “super-people” were surfacing and maybe you could’ve helped…. Maybe. But where were they when HYDRA took you from your own bed when you were only 10 and killed your parents? Where was Iron Man? Where was Captain America, where was the famous Black Widow?

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Hey Bartender (Bucky Barnes x Plus size Reader)

Hey Bartender                                      

Summary: You thought you’d seen it all, heard it all till he walked in one warm summer night and turned your little world on its head.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Plus size Reader

Characters: Reader, Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers,

Setting: future events

Rating: PG13

Warnings: name calling, body shaming, insecurities, language  

Word count: 1,947

Notes: Hello my sweet doves so this little one-shot is for “#Blade’s fix fest” held by the adorable @bookybuns, my prompt is “You own a bar and s/he is one of your regular patrons. Feedback is always welcome and much appreciated.

Tags: If you wish to be taken off or put on any list let me know via an ask or message.

Forever: @winters-buck @angryschnauzer @marvel-lucy @feelmyroarrrr @aquabrie @fandommaniacx @thetalesofmooseandsquirrel @supernaturallymarvellous @supernaturaldean67

Marvel: @sebbytrash @ek823  @melconnor2007 @kanupps06 @badassbaker @geekyweed @creideamhgradochas

Bucky Barnes: @nerdyandproud9 @reniescarlett

Hey Bartender tags: @ggrubi @secondsandstars  @of-iron-and-ink @jasmineladjevardi @peter-pan-hoe @vintage-switch @modestlyconfused @i-should-probably-be-asleep-rn @ashleydivine @flerghfood

Another warm stormy night, the bar mostly empty front door opens and the most unexpected person walks through that door which seen more action than most hookers on a good Friday night after paid day. Chestnut brown hair pulled back into a small man bun, black leather jacket covering broad shoulders, fitted jeans, boots and what looks to be a dark blue Henley under the jacket round out his look but it’s his eyes that trap and hold you. Eyes that have seen more than they should have for one who appears to be so young, yet looks can always deceive.

Watching while he took a spot at the bar just looking around like he’s been here before and trying to make sure it hasn’t changed much. Your dad always kept things as they were hollerin’ about changes being for the birds or something like that. You keep wiping down the old dark stained oak bar, eyes taking in everything and nothing all at once. Always keeping watch for any trouble that thankfully rarely broke out, yet one could never be too careful.

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So I’ve been sitting on this one for a while but thanks to @marveliskindacool and @imagine-that-marvel I’m feeling a lot better about uploading it. @lost-in-my-arms, sorry - I couldn’t follow the request explicitly but I hope the fic is still enjoyable nonetheless. Be brutal with your feedback - though you should know there is a part 2. Enjoy, my darlings!

Prompt[s]: the reader, who’s a new Avenger, has the same powers (and name, and costume, maybe) as Daredevil, being blind and all, knows when someone is lying; is great fighting (everyone) Pietro, since she can pinpoint where he is even when running. Cracks jokes about being blind all the time. This sort of stuff. Maybe something romantic with Bucky, or Pietro?

‘More Than Meets The Eye’

Pietro sighed. The coffee shop was buzzing. Perhaps in a novella such an atmosphere would incite excitement. However, all Pietro wanted to do was sit, rest his feet, and drink his coffee. You’d have thought it would be simple.

Just as he was beginning to think that he might have to take his drink elsewhere, he spotted an empty seat in the corner of the room, near a partially empty table. In such a crowded room, using his speed never ended well so he fought his way to the table patiently. It wouldn’t have bothered him so much if he wasn’t wary of the fact that there would be other patrons searching for a place to sit and this seemed to be the last available space.

Unfortunately, on account of his hopes being so high, they fell all the harder when a well-built gentleman arrived, seemingly out of nowhere, and fell into the chair. The polished wood groaned under the weight, and Pietro groaned under his breath – or so he had thought. The man turned and met his gaze with ferocity.

“You got a problem?” He asked, pulling out his newspaper and unfolding it to make a point. This guy was not going anywhere. Before Pietro could begin to speak, somebody appeared at his side and placed their hand in the crook of his arm.

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Guilty Conscience

For the “accident” square on my hurt/comfort bingo card. Please don’t think too hard about how this would fit into canon because I really don’t know. 

Summary: This is all his fault. He’s the bad guy here. Sympathy is the last thing he deserves. 

[Read on AO3]


“Mr Wayne, your son has just been admitted to Gotham General Hospital.”

The waiting room is cold. He curls his fingers inside his hoodie sleeves and shoves his hands under his armpits. It doesn’t do anything to thaw the ice in his veins. Maybe it’s not the room that’s cold. Maybe it’s his heart. Cold and dark and shrivelled and capable of being a complete and utter arsehole.

A nurse glances over at him, something like sympathy curling her lips. It makes his stomach churn because he doesn’t deserve that sympathy. This is all his fault. He’s the bad guy here. Sympathy is the last thing he deserves.

“Which son?”

Someone hands him a clipboard. He stares at it blankly. The only part he could fill out with any confidence is “name”. He doesn’t think the kid has any allergies but he doesn’t want to say no just in case. It would be just his luck that he’s deathly allergic to morphine or something and he fucks this whole situation up even more by putting nothing.

Like this situation can get much worse. It doesn’t matter how much guilt Tim is drowning himself in, Bruce and Dick and everyone are sure to pile more on. And he can’t even protests because as much as it was an accident, a part of him is sure it also wasn’t. He meant to do it, he just didn’t mean for it to play out the way it did. But Murphy’s Law must really hate his life because it’s all gone so wrong.

“Damian. There was some kind of accident at home, his brother called the ambulance.”

He stares at a mark on the tile near his left sneaker and doesn’t blink. His eyes are hot and itchy but every time he blinks, he sees what he did. The unnatural angle of Damian’s arm, the blood gushing down his face, his neck, his chest, staining his shirt purple and the hardwood floor an ugly red-brown. The stillness. God, for a second he’d thought-

He bites his lip so hard it splits. Blood dribbles down his chin unnoticed. It’s nothing compared to what’s already on his hands.

Damian hadn’t moved, hadn’t made a sound, and Tim had thought he was dead. A wave of cold had washed over him and it hasn’t gone away. Because he still hates the brat but he doesn’t want him dead. He thinks that maybe he didn’t realise that until the moment he thought he was. It’s a thought that tastes like bile and sounds like the thump-thump-thump of a body rolling down the stairs.

“How serious is it?”

He hadn’t known what to do. Had half dialled Dick’s number before he’d remembered his oldest brother was in New York. He wouldn’t be able to do anything except tell Tim not to panic. And it had been too late for that because his thoughts had been scrambled and his breathing rapid and he’d been well and truly panicking.

Alfred, he’d thought, because Alfred fixes everything. But Alfred wasn’t home. Nobody was home except Tim and Damian. A disaster in the making.

Made. A disaster made.

Tim really fucked up this time.

He’d called 911 eventually. It was probably only forty seconds, maybe a minute, after Damian had hit the floor with a sick thud, but it had felt like eons. He can’t remember what he told the operator, but whatever it was it must have been something right because they’d sent an ambulance. And now they’re here. Gotham General’s paediatric emergency department.

It had been that bit which really struck home what Tim had done. Paediatric. Because he forgets sometimes that Damian may act bigger and better than all of them but he’s still just a child. An incredibly aggravating, hyper-confident, exceptionally skilled child, but still just a child.

And yet Tim had been the one who’d acted like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Damian’s words had sliced through his skin like claws and plunged into his heart and Tim had lost his temper. Not as famous as Dick’s temper, but sure to be remembered for this.

“The extent of his injuries are still being evaluation, but the doctor is concerned about organ damage. We need your permission to operate, Mr Wayne.”

Another nurse pauses in front of him. Her voice sounds like it’s coming through a tunnel when she asks if he’s alright. His own voice sounds wooden when he replies that he’s fine. He’s not the one who almost died. Could, potentially, still die. Maybe. He doesn’t know; the hospital staff won’t tell him anything.

He almost killed you once, a voice in his head whispers. Tim tells it to shut up because he’s supposed to be Robin, a pillar of justice, a beacon of hope for the city. He’s not supposed to want an eye for an eye. He’s not supposed to get into fights with kids and feel vicious satisfaction when he comes out on top.

He started it, the voice argues. Tim sinks his fingers into his hair and twists until it hurts. He doesn’t need to think too hard to imagine Alfred telling him it doesn’t matter who started it. He should have found a better way to finish it.

“Do it. Do whatever you need to, I’m on my way.”

Bruce sits down beside him. Tim doesn’t lift his gaze from his shoes.

“It’s my fault.”

Bruce doesn’t ask why. He puts a hand, heavy and warm, on Tim’s shoulder. Says, “We’ll talk about it when we get home.”

Tim shakes his head frantically. He can’t go home, they can’t just talk about this. Doesn’t Bruce understand what he did?

“I pushed him.” His voice is hoarse, a whisper. His throats aches. “We were on the stairs and he- he just hit a nerve and I snapped.” He swallows around the lump that it was an accident forms behind his sternum. It’s growing and spreading, clawing at his heart and coiling around his throat. Shredding and suffocating.

Bruce’s hand shifts to the back of Tim’s neck and squeezes. Still heavy, still warm. Inexplicably gentle. And Tim wants to curl into a ball and cry because he doesn’t deserve it and he didn’t mean to but he was just so angry and he just wanted Damian to understand how much it hurt.

He’d thought the brat would catch himself, pull off one of those fancy flips or rolls he’s so proud of being better than Tim at. He hadn’t thought he’d actually fall. That his head would bounce off the steps and his body would tumble over and over until he reached the bottom.

“We’ll talk about it when we get home,” Bruce says again. There’s an edge to it this time, though, one that conjures memories of Robin getting in trouble on patrol. It’s a tone that means there will be justice, punishment, atonement for sins.

It shouldn’t make Tim feel better but it does. He’s not used to leaving his interactions (always quarrelsome, often violent) with Damian feeling guilty. He’s not used to feeling in the wrong, wanting to apologise, accepting the consequences. Usually he’s not the one at fault. Well, the only one at fault.

This time he fucked up. Badly. And he deserves whatever punishment he’s given. He’d prided himself on being above the violence Damian had attacked him with that first time (and several times since). But he isn’t. He can lie to himself as much as he wants, but he has no higher ground. He’s just as bad. Worse, even, because Damian is just a kid. Tim is supposed to know better, he’s supposed to be able to control himself, to be mature and responsible and not get into fights with preteens, whether they’re baby assassins or not.

“I’m sorry,” he says to his shoes. Maybe by the time they’re allowed to see Damian he’ll have worked up the nerve to say it to his face.

“I know,” Bruce says.

But they both know that doesn’t make it any better.

the little things in life - part 1

summary: One of Roman’s adventures takes an interesting turn, resulting in Logan coming back looking much different than before.

characters: logan, patton, virgil, roman

pairings: none

warnings: age regression; some intrusive thoughts; thoughts of injury (very brief); thoughts of choking on food (very brief); mention of death (very brief)

word count: 1,968

a/n: a cute piece inspired by @mewsicalmiss‘s adorable hcs and @pirate-patton‘s own fic based off of them. this got a little long so I decided to break it up into a few chapters. hope you guys enjoy!

tag list: @tinysidestrashcaptain @logan-logic @holdnarrytight @the-sanders-snides @darude-sanderstorm @mewsicalmiss @thegoldenmink @cefmua56 @madd-catter @amazable01@camillenicole @dudlebuggs @evilmuffin


“He’s so small! Ah, I just wanna scoop him right up!”

“I hate to admit it, but he’s just downright adorable! And he hardly talks as much as he used to. I shall chalk this up as an improvement!”

Virgil opened his mouth to protest; he closed it in favor of screwing his face into an expression that was near impossible to describe, but perfectly conveyed his character.

“What?” he finally burst out. “No! We can’t keep him like this. Do you think Thomas is gonna have any idea how to do anything?”

Roman groaned, shoulders sliding into a dejected position. “Fine. I suppose you do have a point. The only thing is…how do we fix…this?”

He gestured to their current problem, which sat on the couch.

This problem happened to be a very displeased Logan, who was now reduced to the state of about a two-year-old, courtesy of a glittering crystal lake he had fallen into after being dragged along on one of Roman’s adventures.

He was small, he was clumsy, he was—

Well, to be quite honest, he was the most adorable thing any of them had ever seen.

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No Regrets | 01

Plot: ‘Forever, we are young’ – that was Seokjin’s motto. You had never expected to live by it, not until he came up with a bucket list and forced his friends to go on a week-long trip with him during spring break. All of you soon learnt that youth was an adventure, and a great time to make stupid mistakes.

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Reader

Genre: fluff, humor, (very little) angst, Non-idol au!

Notes: The Seokjin series of everyone’s dreams. I’m trying out something new here, so bare with me. Fluff is not my forte. I’d love to know your opinions about this series, so feel free to hmu. 4k Words

P.S. I’d like to wish happy birthday to @seokjinkie <3 She said it was her birthday in November in her reblog (idk when) so yeah.. Hehehe

trailer | masterlist | next

Originally posted by you-made-me-again

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