i was sobbing so hard in this scene

there’s so much i didn’t realise was happening in this scene until now:

beverly is literally gripping bill’s shirt so hard trying to hug him as close as she can, richie and ben holding onto bill as well, stan wrapping his arm around ben and resting his head on richie’s, mike rubbing eddie’s shoulder and stroking richie’s hair, eddie literally starting to fucking cry at the sight of bill sobbing? these kids adore each other man, they’re family

*looking at the stars with my potential life partner*

Me: Woah, the stars are so beautiful

Them: Yeah, they are…

Me: You know who’s even more beautiful?

Them: *blushes* Who?

Me: Jimin


Them: *sighs*

TBT: a journey

About two months ago I was hate-watching the finale of Pretty Little Liars because I started watching it as a joke and got roped in by gays and murder and Troian Bellisario’s voice. Anyway there was this preview for this show and these 3 chicks were screaming at a subway.  And I wasn’t sure what was going on…Cosmo? That chick from Faking It? Cute black girl? Some white chick with a bougie name like Sutton? No thanks.

And then there was a preview during the PLL finale where they were talking with the chick from Faking It about orgasms.  And the other white girl and her black friend were being funny and the white girl had this line “Loving the can-do spirit!” And it made me chuckle.  So then when PLL ended I was like “eh…what the hell”.

And then I realized wait, these 3 chicks are super supportive of each other? And feel like real friends?

Oh and bougie Sutton is actually super relatable and hilarious, but also just really hardworking.

Oh and there was this boss, who is the chick from The Office, and when you think she’s just going to be a Devil Wears Prada rip off she’s actually really supportive of her staff and inspiring? 

And all of a sudden I’m just…What the hell am I watching? Why does this feel so rare and why am I smiling?

Oh wait…and then there was a LESBIAN MUSLIM RABBIT HOLE.  

And this character Adena, and Kat, and Kat doesn’t know if she likes girls. 

And all of a sudden I’m crying because this hits so close to home. And then she has a revelation at a gosh dang SOUL CYCLE class and it’s so absurd yet feels the most real any scene I’ve ever seen and it’s paired with Sutton negotiating a salary?! And I’m watching this nonsense and screaming: WHAT IS THIS GEM OF A SHOW!!!

And then some drama happened and Tiny Jany (because that’s what we call her because she’s tiny) might have a BRCA gene and she just sobs and I am sobbing with her. And they all get in a bathtub together and it’s the cutest goddamn scene ever.

Oh and then Kadena (because that’s what they’re called now because I just dove right into the trash of shipping this shit so hard) have the type of angst and slow burn that normally the straight whites have.  And they have this drawn out ROMANCE. That usually only happens in movies!

And they have the epic airport goodbyes, and the slow sex scene (in an airport).  

Because Kat not knowing how to label herself is real. And Kat being terrified of relationships is real.  And Tiny Jane living the dream but still wanting more for herself and to take risks is real. And Sutton Brady is just the realest character out there.

I regret nothing from that random decision a few months ago. 


#kdramawomensweek: day 8 // age of youth love-fest | happy international women’s day!

So I pretty much put together some of my favorite scenes from Age of Youth. They’re all scenes that really hit me hard emotionally or just personally resonated with me. When Jin Myung, whose feelings have slowly been bubbling underneath the surface, finally overflows with emotion, full of rage and agony. She finally demands the apology she’s been silently asking for. When she fell to the floor in sobs, I cried with her. I felt that grief. When Yi Na realizes she’s been holding herself back and finally lets herself go. Dammit, that scene just hit me. When Eun Jae blows up and just begs for the housemates to be nice to her I could personally relate to her pain and just how nervous she must have felt to finally let that out and tell these almost strangers how alienated they made her feel and how much it had hurt her. That’s not easy.

As you can see, most of my favorite scenes include the girls all together. The relationship that developed between these girls, different in pretty much every way, from being strangers just living in a house together to sisters that loved and protected each other in any way they could was really the main strength of the show. Even that hilarious scene when the girls beat up Eun Jae’s boyfriend because they think he’s some stranger out to hurt her shows just how willing they are to protect each other. I mean, they burst out of the house the second they heard Eun Jae scream. The girls immediately went to comfort Ye Eun when she finally broke up with a boyfriend she loved so much. And when Eun Jae finally comes home after being out all night, the girls just hug her, saying that everything is okay because she’s here and she’s safe. I’m tearing up just thinking of the scene. That love for each other that made them one of the best friendships of 2016 and just in general.

What I love about the girls individual stories is the journey they went through during the drama and where they ended up. They don’t end the drama suddenly complete and whole, but you know they’ve set themselves on that track. They learn to start forgiving and loving themselves. The ghosts they’ve lived with are never completely gone but they’re not held back and tortured by them anymore.

Anyway, what I really want to say is that I love these girls so so so so so much. There’s really nothing I can say that can convey the amount of love I have for this drama and the Belle Epoque girls. It warms my heart when I think of them and I’m just so happy there’s going to be a season 2.

my thoughts on logan *spoilers*

-never in a million years did i think i would cry so many times during an xmen ~related~ film but bitch!!!
-this movie came after me so many times i am shook
-this was such an emotional experience
-it was so packed too i usually go on discount days but i had to see this and wow literally not a seat left open!!!
-first movie from the franchise to be rated r and damn!!! It really needed it, i can’t imagine the film being pg 13
-i really loved the r rating… the gore the cussing the darker and more mature tone was something i didn’t think i needed til i saw this film
-the darker tone made it so much more intense and made logan feel more human
-fight/action scenes were all pure gratuitous fun i enjoyed all of it
-laura is adorable and shes a bad bitch my daughter will be like that!!! like wow this girl got paid to deadass be silent for half the movie but when she talked i was shook af
-and the nurse gabriella being aleida from oitnb like hey girll!!
-the banter between professor x and logan ugh and when logan called charles his dad
-this side of wolverine/ logan was so raw and sad.
-he def was not the mutant hero ive grown up watching but that was also the refreshing part bc it made it seem more realistic to me
-heartbreaking to watch someone spiral downward especially with the drinking and self hatred and the suicidal thoughts ugh
-laura is a mini wolverine but gonna grow to be so much stronger i love her every time she fucked someone up i was screaming YAAS
-finding out shes his daughter ugh i knew it bur dang!!
-honestly pierce the bad guy was sexy af i was having dirty thoughts while hating him at the same time
-i’m not a box of avocados logan
-logan is really so broken and traumatized inside
-charles telling logan that this is what its like to be normal before he left with that mans to fix the water or whatever
-and its sad to see charles so weak and sick and trapped in his mind and broken as well after what he did in westchester
-losing control is so awful and seeing someone who was once so great be at this point hurts
-when charles woke up in that familys house and was talking about how he remembered things and that it was the best night of his life but he didnt deserve it I WAS CRYING
-then i was like OMFG LOGAN IS ABOUT TO KILL HIM??? Turns out it was his fuckass clone mutant but i was still shook
-hugh jackman is a daddy he can still get it
-logan coping with charles was so sad this father son relationship rly fucked me up it was so cute when they were joking abt the past at academy during dinner
-laura gives me life!!! W her docs and cute ass outfit in sunglasses but she still vicious yas queen
-her relationship w charles was so beautiful too
-her driving!!! Aha and finally speaking that was a funny cute lil scene i was expecting her to be a little sassier but that wouldnt fit the tone of the movie so its all good
-all the cute lil mutant kids!!!! omfg so adorable its really fcked up what they were doing at transigen i was heated ugh
-they were so sweet helping him and ugh the scenes just between logan and laura rlly fucked me up like when she held his hand after he buried charles…
-my god the development of these relationships really messed me up!!!
-honestly his self loathing and pity party was getting a little annoying and the whole im no good for you act etc etc but i understand i guess
-telling laura she and her friends reminded him of the xmen RIP
-“people hurt me” “were different i hurt people”
-ugh i literally love them so much when he told her he was gonna shoot himself w that bullet then she took it from him wow cryin
-him being like u dont need me everyone i care about gets hurt or killed then she roasted him with the “THEN I GUESS ILL BE FINE” like damn girl
-ugh him coming to the rescue and taking the green stuff ugh i just knew this wouldnt end well but the fight scenes and seeing some of the kids use their powers was nice
-also enjoyed all the bad guys gettjng absolutely destroyed
-literally FUCK clone logan so hard she was really goin at him but i knew logans fate was inevitable since it was hughs last hoorah but wow
-i was in fucking puddles then she held his hand and called him fucking daddy!!!! THAT RUINED ME WHEN SHE ACKNOWLEDGE HE WAS HER FATHER HOLY FRICK
-“so this is what it feels like” logans last words realizing what its like to care for someone again/what it feels like to die omg laura crying made me cry
-the end. thank u for sticking w me if u read this whole thing talk to me about it im emotionally unstable
-idk i prob left some stuff out but this is a lot already im lowkey so sad rn
-i cant wait for the next xmen movie with the other cast i need more this was all my childhood upto now i need it all please

everything happened so much in ep69 im fucking elated like

- the fight starting off with merle going full great gospel??? iconic
- that persona 4 Bonds of People Are The True Power shit
- griffin getting increasingly excited as thb call their bonds
- “u boys know the best part of the fantasy costco? FREE SAMPLES
- john dying with his only friend by his side….Bye
- jeffandrew
- magnus hoisting ango up on his shoulder and ango telling everyone they won!!!!!!!!!!!!
- lup and taako being doofuses!!! ren being taako’s right hand!!! ren!! lup!!! taako!!!!!!
- that sweet sweet domestic taakitz
- earl merle and merlegaritaville
- mavis calling the ipre crew “aunt” and “uncle”
- merle’s soft voice when he tells mavis he loves her, merle being a good dad, Just….merle is so good yall
- lucretia smiling at merle and touching her heart i ffucking. love her
- “if you’ll excuse me….i have to shit” thanks travis for travis
- magnus naming his dog johann
- just. the whole magnus death scene and julia reunion i cant even work out the details i was sobbing way too hard
- magnus telling julia about his adventure fuCK ME UP
- trav’s genuine and weepy “thank you”
- magnus and carey being the sweetest bffs
- griffin physically appearing in my room and killing me while narrating the most beautiful gay marriage ever while no dogs on the beach plays in the bg
- “thus ends the adventure zone balance the story of four idiots that played dnd so hard that they made themselves cryBITCH ME TOO WHAT THE FUCK

Why Phichit is my Favorite Character

In honor of reaching 500 followers, I decided it was about time I made a post that shows that this blog is actually what it sounds like. This is going to be a long ride full of incoherent rambling, so hold on tight. Yes I am listening to Shall We Skate and Terra Incognita on repeat while writing this

Lets start from the beginning. The first time we see Phichit, we see him for only a few seconds, where he only says one line of dialogue, ¨Yuuri!¨, which was preceded by a giggle. We don’t see him again for the rest of the episode, or the next. Or the next. There is nothing that you can glean from this character at first glance.

But that was the moment I fell in love with the character that is Phichit Chulanont. 

See, It wasn’t his first official appearance that made me fall in love with him. The reason I liked this character so much was because I understood he was close to Yuuri and cared about him. Now, for those of you who don’t know, I became invested in Yuri!!! on ICE because of Yuuri and the premise + figure skating. Not victuuri, although that was wonderful because!!! Representation!!! I was just glad there was a main character I, and many others, could deeply relate to. But this post isn’t about Yuuri. Its about Phichit. And because I could see he cared for Yuuri, I got interested. 

So I watched the scene again to figure out what I could. And here is what I was able to come up with.

He lives in Thailand, but has just arrived home after being somewhere else, or is leaving. More likely the former. He is cheerful, and invested somewhat in social media. He is close friends with Yuuri, or at least acquainted, and is likely a figure skater. 

I looked him up after that, and my love only grew. 

Also, we had this picture in the ending

God I love him

The next time we see Phichit, we see him in a video call with Yuuri in episode 4. His first appearances are all very Yuuri-centered. 

But boy did this scene deliver a BIG LOAD of information. 

I had been right about quite a few things from my first guesses about Phichit. He just arrived back in Thailand and likes social media, as seen by the literal touchscreen gloves and multiple IG posts. He is also very close with Yuuri. VERY CLOSE. I damn near cried over how comfortable and happy Yuuri became when he was talking with Phichit. And how comfortable PHICHIT looked when he was talking to Yuuri. 

They had clearly been friends for a long time, Yuuri even knew phrases in Phichits native language, and I have no doubts that Phichit knows phrases in Japanese.

This sort of familiarity and calm interaction is something we only really see Yuuri take part in when he is with his family, +the Nishigori’s, at least at the beginning of the series. 

When Yuuri starts talking about composer girl, Phichit is able to immediately understand what Yuuri needs without even having to hear Yuuri say it. That is the kind of friendship some can only dream of. 

We already know Phichit is a wonderful, reliable friend from less than a minute of interaction. Less than a minute. I counted. I have seen dozens of shows where it takes multiple WHOLE EPISODES to understand the relationship between two characters, but with Yuri on Ice it takes less than a minute. This is a result of good writing and good, rounded characters. 

Which leads to my next topic of discussion.

Phichit is such a well-rounded character holy shit

There are no lingering doubts about Phichit’s character. There isn’t a scene where you are left wondering, “Why did Phichit do this” or “What is Phichit thinking” because we know, at least in my case. As long as you understand Phichit as a character you can understand the motivations behind his actions. 

Episode 6 is a beautiful Phichitfest and I was having a good ol’ time. 

Now, for reference, episode 6 is when I really got into Yuri on Ice as a show. Characters I didn’t really like were starting to have more appeal, like Viktor, and characters I loved got better, somehow. 

Bonus points for fashion goddamn


His constant need to document everything on social media is also much appreciated. 

also this

Captain of the #victuuri ship honestly same Phichit

So,as I’m watching this episode I’m just waiting and thinking 

when do i get to see Phichit skate?? when??

I find out Phichit skates first and Im !!!!

then he skates. 


Phichit steps out onto that rink in his princely attire and I am gone then and there.

Shall We Skate? is such a masterpiece and I LOVE IT

You can say what you want about Phichit, but if you cant see how much Phichit adores skating through his performance than you clearly haven’t watched the series. 

I have a record of crying every time I watch Phichit skate when I watched the episodes he was in for the first time. Every time. This one is no exception. 

The fact that the audience is shown to get very caught up in Phichit’s performance made me so happy? These people, who are all there to support the more popular skaters, are getting caught up in the dance of a skater who hadn’t even been on their radar. 

Originally posted by meldingseas





what a good friend fukc i love him

What I wouldn’t give to have a friend like Phichit


Terra Incognita. 

me too ciao ciao

This performance showed how much you can glean from a person while watching them skate. And yes. I cried. 


His motivation for skating is so fucking clear. 

He wants to make his country proud.

And he does. 

The audience is rooting for Phichit, he gets the crowd hyped up and he delivers. 

He worked his ass off for this performance and it pays off

He nails all of his components and scores higher than he ever has

He is so confident that hes won and he WINS






And that’s why it made me so mad when he lost the Grand Prix Final. 

Sixth. Place. 

I love the other skaters. I really do. But JJ did not deserve a bronze medal. He was way over scored and should have gotten last place. Phichit scored about as high as the previous years third place winner. JJ. 

His Shall We Skate made me hella emotional and sob along with him at the end. He is SUCH A GOOD SKATER. 

Originally posted by orekis

I never cried as hard during the entirety of YOI as I did during Phichit’s Terra Incognita performance. He was so happy to just be performing. Even after he messed up one jump he continued to smile. 

That is what makes a performer. 

Phichit entertains the audience. He holds their attention and gets them hyped up and on the edge of their seats. 

He has fun while he skates and just genuinely loves his sport. 

This gif sums it up pretty well

Originally posted by vikturi-katsforov

The scenes he got outside of the competition made me happy at least, and some of the flashbacks provided some nice information and depth

Originally posted by ryokho

Originally posted by yaoyorozus

Originally posted by bonbonbunny

and the iconic #victuuricaptain moment

Originally posted by asparagusoup

and I may be really salty about his loss but i am SO PROUD OF HIM

I am going to quote something I said when I first made this blog. 

“Just by qualifying for the Grand Prix Finals, Phichit won. He may not have won a medal, but he achieved not only one of his dreams, skating “Shall We Skate” in a major competition, but also made history by becoming the first Thai skater to compete in the Grand Prix Finals. WE should all be extremely proud of him, and hopefully watch him continue to made his dreams reality in the next season!”

I stand by this statement fully and wholeheartedly. Yes, Phichit deserved to be placed higher, and yes, it was completely unfair. But lets be proud of what he did achieve, and appreciate him for the amazing character he is. 

tldr; Phichit is a wonderful character and I love him. Thanks for 500 followers!

Just finished OITNB S5: Finale thoughts

• I’m in love with Luschek
• I’m in love with Nicky
• Boo deserves someone to fall in love with that isn’t a lying fake inmate
• I fucking love Donuts and Penntucky even after all the shit that happened, that couch scene killed me.
• Caputo tried so hard bless him but never hard enough and I just wish he got better for the girls cause he actually cared.
• Thank fuck Piscatella died.
• I sobbed through the whole final episode
• Red is beautiful and strong and I love her
• Suzanne is beautiful and strong and I love her
• Taystee is beautiful and strong and I love her
• Black Cindy is beautiful and strong and I love her
• Sobbing again.
• “To build a home” playing at the end is probably what hit me and sent me off into hysterics
• No more Litchfield might actually kill me
• I’m so fucking glad that Benny is okay
• Ruiz family reunion was beautiful
• this whole season was fucking epic
• I need s6 now.

if season 3 doesn’t give us a scene of Allura sitting in the pilot’s seat of the Black Lion in the Black Paladin armour and breaking down and sobbing “please come back Shiro… I need you… I’m trying to be strong but it’s so hard without you” then what even was the point of Voltron





okay I’m STILL not done the book yet because #life™ but some follow up reactions

  • The entire scene where Calypso and Apollo were trying to escape on the slow kiddy train at the Zoo had me in stitches holy shit
  • Apollo frantically hitting the gas and Calypso is just leisurely walking next to it while glaring at him??? And the guards? omfg I was dying
  • Meg’s entrance was dramatic and awesome good for her
  • Why the fuck is this 12 year old so good at sword fighting she can keep up with one of the deadliest swordfighters of the ancient world™
  • When Lit threatened Leo and Calypso essentially morphed into the knife emoji on spot. A plus.
  • I mean I’m just saying: I feel like a pregnant griffin isn’t more important than helping a tortured seven year old girl. But I still love Britomartis so I guess it’s whatever
  • I love how Lit was going on like he has a score to settle with Leo because ‘he and his friends’ fucked him up in Oklahoma but like….Leo didn’t contribute to that at all like Jason literally did everything during that fight??? That was kinda like important to Jason’s development and shit??? Leo and Piper were golden statues and Hedge was outside eating grass??? Shouldn’t Lit’s anger be focused on Jason??? lol
  • Idk I just found it funny (I want to see Jason Grace again)
  • Calypso managing to shove out some magic yeah girl!!!!
  • Leo meeting Meg was way too fucking funny omfg “so I understand you can like…control him?” and when Apollo tried denying it she makes him slap himself??? 😂
  • How did we fucking segue from lighthearted banter directly into Apollo having a vivid flashback of the time he had to murder the love of his life with his bare hands
  • Like I??? Was sobbing??? So hard???? Because a batshit insane Roman empire was getting killed by someone who loved him bc it was necessary for the world and the lover couldn’t stand to see anyone else hurt him??? Fuck me???? Rick Riordan ain’t real
  • “I couldn’t bare to look into the water without seeing my beloved’s betrayed face starring back” or whatever the fuck the line was but FUCK
  • Jo was a teenage girl crossdressing to fuck around with gangsters in the 1920′s before Artemis found her and honestly??? Goals
  • Also the scene where she was helping Apollo after his flashback was very sweet
  • Can’t believe the nerd spent like six hours playing soothing music just to get a griffin to lay an egg
  • Leo and Calypso better be whispering amongst themselves what I think they’re whispering
  • Leo seems a lot more…subdued than usual in this book? I don’t know if that’s just because we aren’t reading from his POV, or if it’s like a “I literally died and came back and then spent six months getting attacked every single day while trying to find home and now I’m stuck on another dangerous quest I’m fucking stressed” type thing, or if it could be from the relationship problems he’s having with Calypso, but either way he seems a little off and I’m worried about him
  • The Dread Pirate Valdez…leave.
  • How was that joke never made once on the Argo tho??? lol
  • The speed at which Leo seems to have emotionally adopted Meg is astounding and also #relatable
  • Meg’s far from my favorite character tbh but like??? I will probably punch everyone who’s ever frowned in her general direction in the face. Holy shit give this kid a break
  • She thinks Nero is scared of the mystery third emperor on the West Coast??? So….Caligula, probably? Laying my bets down on him now
  • I triggered the First Law of Percy Jackson” I had to put the book down bc I was laughing so hard I think that lines gonna end up on my gravestone or as the afterword in my autobiography omfg
  • “I’ve always had a phobia of snakes, especially if you included my step-mother Hera. BOOM!” I choked.
  • I like that half the time Apollo is able to figure out what to do to win because he has a general understanding of science
  • Like he knew his burst of godly voice power would only help so much, but he also knew if he stood in the right spot and yelled in the right frequency it would reverberate and knock over the bricks and shit??? NICE
  • How long were these kids wadding through a sewer how do none of them have hypothermia
  • Leo: *sets himself on fire* “Gather round, children.”
  • Like first off someone saying ‘gather round children’ is always going to make me laugh for some reason that’s just a fact but human torching it up really added to the effect lmao
  • Like okay I understand the set up of the room so that no one would look in the canal and see them but like…how the fuck did no one realize they were there that just felt too easy I’m sorry
  • Chia Girl
  • When they found the prisoners was horrifying omfg???
  • The two fucked up boys on a hunger strike???
  • “…Hunter the Hunter?” “Yeah, I’ve never heard that before.”
  • Tall, Dark and Jamie.
  • Apollo babe you’re on a rescue mission with a time crunch please you can check out Jamie later holy shit
  • Georgie made me wanna cry get her back to her Combat Moms immediately
  • The entire sequence of Apollo getting the door open: S C I E N C E  B I T C H
  • “Lemme just fill up some syringes with ammonia just in case”
  • Alright I’ll admit when Meg started insisting she had a feeling they needed to go through the door: I was really worried she was about to double cross him.
  • Glad I was wrong but tbh that whole arena dress rehearsal bullshit was STRESSFULL
  • S T R E S S F U L L
  • First of all: Apollo’s out here constantly complaining about his puny mortal body but manages to fight and climb and run with a heavy ass chair strapped to his back: okay,
  • Second of all: why did no one warn me about Livia the elephant I was on the verge of tears every time he mentioned her
  • Third of all: Monsters, ostriches, race cars, basketballs, football, human mercenaries, animals, like…what even the fuck else SO MUCH WAS GOING ON I would’ve died in ten seconds flat???
  • Fifth of all: THE FUCKING HUNTERS SHOW UP AND CAUSE EVEN M O R E CHAOS. Truly I don’t know how any of the main heroes survived that there was just too much.
  • The entire time I was reading it I was like “This feels like a giant fight at the climax of the book how the fuck are there more pages left what else is going to happen???” AND IM STILL WONDERING THAT LIKE
  • Thalia Grace has been returned to me.
  • Apollo’s strong urge to save Lit??? Okay I guess. It’s nice to see him being compassionate and shit but. I was kinda with Leo on that one lol
  • “Thalia Grace slid behind me on the elephant, which fulfilled one of the fantasies I’d had about the Hunter, although I never quite imagined it playing out like this” M E
  • What was his elephant-involved fantasy with Thalia I need a complete play by play lmao
  • Also the scene where Commodus dropped his composure for a sec and had a full-blown Angry Ex moment (which…he’s definitely entitled to). That was good and also I was highkey worried he might just try to kill my nerd then and there
  • Also that he’s not just mad that Apollo killed him but like. All their fucking history together. Shit’s intense.
  • Apollo loves this elephant so much after only like 15 minutes the first thing he’s gonna do when he’s immortal again is bless her or some shit
  • Also I’m glad they got that awful chainmail off her
  • The Hunters apparently just have a magical energy drink with mercury in it okay
  • Honestly??? I’m a little mad Artemis has been ordered not to contact him THE BOY JUST WANTS TO SEE HIS SISTER HOLY SHIT
  • Aaaaaand that’s about where I left off. Hoping to finish it all together the next time I get a chance. Hoping all the losers are alright. LOVING this book so far. Waiting to see an official reunion between Georgie and her Combat Moms. The Headless Ghost’s cryptic warning has me worried. Until next time…
Dear Evan Hansen observations in way too much detail


  • The Music Box Theater is really, really tiny, so it feels so intimate
  • There’s no pit, so the band is tucked away in the left corner, on this small platform attached to the ceiling. You can see it in the video bootleg, in the very end, during “Finale”

I separated the scenes by song, and sort of estimated where each scene ended. When I mention how a scene is blocked, it’s because it’s different from the video bootleg.

“Anybody Have A Map?”

  • Evan is speaks even more quickly now in the very beginning, when he’s writing his first letter and talking about Zoe, and his anxious way of speaking is more exaggerated
  • During my first time watching (not in the audio bootleg), Garrett Long (understudies Mrs. Murphy and Heidi) played Evan’s mother, Heidi. Rachel Bay Jones (the original) has a very specific, kind of dorky and sheepish and adorable way of speaking, and Garrett tried to imitate her but it was kind of awkward. She was quite awkward during her performance and very delayed during “Anybody Have A Map?”, but she improved SO MUCH in the second act, more on that later. I think it was maybe an off-day for her, because I listened to another audio bootleg and I only realized it was Garrett in the second act.
  • Zoe’s pins aren’t flat against her head, so if you’re sitting on the side, you can see her hair pushing out, and it looks a lot like pigtails from most angles

“Waving Through a Window”

  • When Jared says, “Very school-shooter chic,” and Connor says, “Oh, no, I’m laughing,” he doesn’t just walk, he kind of crouches and side-lunges towards Jared
  • When he needs to reach high notes, Evan brings his knee high, up to his chin (Ben Platt doesn’t need to do this, it’s new tic he invented for his character because it’s not in the video bootleg)
  • During “Waving Through a Window,” he watches the screens with everyone communicating with each other, it’s a lot of flashing of social media esp. Zoe Murphy’s Facebook profile
  • It’s really difficult to see the screens in the bootleg, but they really really helped convey the tone of each scene
  • They do thing a couple times, where they crescendo to a climax, then turn off all the sound and lights, then turn on individual spotlights on each character and light up the stage and flash all the screens wildly. It’s absolutely glorious and cruel and amazing
  • Connor’s pauses are longer. “You fell out of a tree? ……… Well, that’s just the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. “I’ll sign it……….Do you have a sharpie?”

“For Forever”

  • The musical calls for Mrs. Murphy to cry quite often, and she’s good but not extraordinary. Maybe she really is crying, but it mostly seems like fake sobbing without any tears, which is quite distracting and noticeable. And she always puts her hand on her heart when crying.
  • Scene where the Murphys give Evan Connor’s “suicide note” is really improved, you can more feel the tension between the parents, like they hate each other but are trying really hard not to.
  • During the dinner scene, right before “For Forever,” Evan really takes Jared’s advice to heart, and his nodding is way more intense and exaggerated, which is why the audience laughs so hard
  • During the dinner scene (not part of my theater experience, just something I noticed with Instagram stories or something), I’m pretty sure they’re eating Birds Eye Garlic Chicken pasta, which is what I eat sometimes!!
  • During “For Forever,” Evan really quickly darts a glance at Zoe when he says “Like girls we wish would notice us but never do” and it’s dorky and hilarious

“Sincerely, Me”

  • When Evan is talking to someone online, he will stand on the right in a rectangle of light, and the other person will stand on the left in a rectangle of light, which is supposed to symbolize a phone screen, I think
  • “Sincerely, Me” is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. During the “smoking drugs, smoking crack, smoking pot” line, Connor exaggerates the differences more (furiously scratching during “crack” and lazily snapping during “pot.”) He and Evan do the same little dance, and their enthusiasm is really funny


  • Zoe yells the line about Connor trying to punch through her door and threatening to kill her
  • Zoe wears very little makeup
  • During “Requiem,” her face is all twisted up instead of smiling a little, and you can feel her distress and hatred and disgust. There’s an intense echo that you can’t hear in the video bootleg, and it’s so dramatic and amazing, and it looks like she’s about to angry cry by the end

“If I Could Tell Her”

  • Zoe is so fragile during if “I Could Tell Her,” she’s just drinking in everything he’s telling her about her brother, but you can see her healing
  • They add in a little bass part near the end of “If I Could Tell Her,” and it just adds so much to the performance, you can’t really hear it in the video bootleg or the soundtrack


  • Jared’s pin has Connor’s face on it
  • Evan interrupts and pushes Jared away when they’re telling the Murphys about the Connor Project, foreshadowing their future fallout
  • The scene where Evan puts on Connor’s tie is so dramatic and so well timed and perfect, with just a single G (music note) hanging in the air for a long time

“You Will Be Found”

  • When Evan drops the cards right before “You Will Be Found,” they change the scene where he falls down and gets up a lot. Evan is on the ground literally almost for a whole minute. Instead of just kneeling, he collapses down sitting, his arms propping him up, and shuffles around a lot, with his legs bent, one foot fully on the ground, and the other shaking really really hard. He does it for so long that you feel like it should be a little dumb and awkward, but it’s not, instead you just feel so so so heartbroken
  • During “You Will Be Found,” all the characters walk around looking at the screens and at all the messages that the people are leaving
  • Zoe’s line “ My dad’s, like, in total denial. He didn’t even cry at the funeral” right before “If I Could Tell Her” is really impactful, because during this song, Mr. Murphy hunches over and starts crying, and he hugs Mrs. Murphy

“Good For You”

  • When Evan and Zoe come in to the adults talking, Evan is holding and kissing Zoe’s hands, when Evan sees his mother, he releases her hand instantly and moves away
  • Garrett Long’s performance during the scene with all the parents was great (so was Rachel Bay Thompson’s, but that goes without saying). For both of their performances, you can feel how awkward they are in the presence of these really rich people, then how offended and ashamed they are at the offer of money and because it feels like the Murphys have adopted Evan. After Evan comes in, she’s so hurt and offended, and Evan is curled into a chair in shame, trying to protect himself from her anger
  • During the line “We are not strangers!” Mrs. Murphy does her hand on the heart, fake crying again, instead of making it more angry
  • Before “Good For You,” their yelling fight is more intense, esp the part about the pills and therapy and him needing to be fixed
  • Rachel Bay Jones’s voice during “Good For You” is really, really raspy, on purpose, and it’s really intense, and you can feel her hurt and anger
  • You can feel the pain of all three characters (Heidi, Alana, Jared), when they sing “Good For You,” and it’s crazy). When they sing in that one joined chord, it’s so good and dramatic
  • The bass was so insane, it was shaking the theater, and I think this is the only time that the drum set and a bass guitar are used, and it helped everyone feel the agony of the characters

“Words Fail”

  • After the “suicide note” goes viral, and before Evan confesses during “Words Fail,” the background singers sing “You Are Not Alone,” and it’s so angry and threatening, and the words that the online people are saying are so frightening and threatening to the Murphys, really listen
  • During the matinee, Evan didn’t cry until he started singing, but during the evening show, but he was already crying really hard by the time he interrupted the Murphys. He groans/cries out the first few lines of the song, already furiously crying, so it’s hard to understand
  • Ben Platt is a really gross crier. He spits everywhere and his mucus drips all over the stage (very visible in the lights), but nobody laughs because he’s so captivating
  • Zoe doesn’t cry at all except during “Words Fail,” her face crumples and it’s heartbreaking, the dad’s reaction makes it so awful, because he’s healing with this son he’s never had, then the Evan breaks his heart
  • It’s so sad because Evan wants this perfect family and he can’t have it, and he’s explaining why he lied. The Murphys leave him one by one (Zoe runs, then her mother follows, then the father walks close to Evan and turns away) and then Evan turns to the audience and tries to explain himself

So Big/So Small

  • Garrett Long became amazing in second act and “So Big/So Small” made me cry because Heidi just LOVES EVAN SO MUCH. This is why Rachel Bay Jones won that Tony, because you can feel her grief and love permeate the theater
  • Rachel Bay Jones is not raspy during this song, it’s just a smooth, slow, sad ballad to tell her son that she loves him
  • When she sings “Your mom isn’t going anywhere, your mom is staying right here. Your mom isn’t going anywhere, your mom is staying right here, no matter what,” the whole theater burst into tears


  • During the last song, all the screens cleared away and it was just big and open and the background was a deep blue color, and you could see just the trees and band, it was so beautiful
  • When he and Zoe are speaking, they keep moving closer to each other, until they’re able to touch, but they don’t
  • Evan’s tics are way lessened here, because it’s a year later
  • In the orchard, Zoe looks directly at the audience when she says “I wanted to be sure you saw this,” you think she means the orchard, but I think she also means she wants Evan to see that he helped the people in the audience feel less alone, and she wants the audience to see that even the most broken people can be put back together
  • His soliloquy was so beautiful, then all the characters come out, as silhouettes, and then they all move into the spotlight/sun, it’s beautiful, and then they fade into silhouettes, again, and he’s the only one in the sun again
  • Okay now for the set, lighting, and acting things I will never be over in Bandstand
  • the lighting is Incredible
  • even though for the entire first act, the set is actually the exact same thing with the instruments moved, you forget it. when it’s the clubs, it’s the clubs. when it’s Donny’s house, it’s Donny’s house. When it Julia’s house, that’s what it is. you don’t even notice anything else
  • during the first scene, where Michael dies, the lights are blue and sharp, only on the actors, and whenever Donny has a flashback, that’s what they go to. sometimes for a long time, like the whole beginning of Right This Way, and sometimes short, like a literal flash during the scene before that
  • the flashbacks also always having booming drums, usually The Drumbeat, which is DUN dun dundundun DUN dundun dundun, but in the super short one it was just one really loud BOOM
  • the sound design was soo cool! it was really loud when the band was performing, and they were super good at setting the volume to match the scene, and I can’t articulate what I mean but trust me it was so cool
  • every man in the band has some sort of tell when their PTSD is bad. Donny waves his fingers and his whole body tenses, Nick clenches his fists and gets angry, Davey takes a big drink and his jokes get worse, they all deal in their own ways
  • but again, when they’re performing, it seems to go away
  • the whole thing is incredibly authentic. the dialogue flows completely naturally, and the chemistry of the cast is so good the emotions flow right along with it. when Donny is scared or angry, the audience is scared or angry. it was amazing
  • OKAY so for the whole first act and the beginning of the second, it was the simple club buildings and stage
  • in A Band in New York City, the set splits in half and goes offstage, and a platform come out with chairs on it to mimic a train, and luggage boys are “pulling” the train with a luggage train. also an almost abstract neon train hangs down behind them
  • then when they get to New York, the platform goes away and the neon light train goes away, and down drops a neon light building, tilted crooked. it looked like one thing. and then when they left the hotel it split and there was suddenly a street of neon buildings. and then a crooked neon cityscape
  • I swear to god that set change changed my life I can’t even describe it to you, my soul left my body and ascended from the earthly plane it was so good
  • what was really cool about it was that the simplicity of the first set didn’t go away at all. it was simple line art done in neon lights, there was still no walls or anything, it just was brighter and the city. it was so cool. augh. so amazing.
  • The Acting my GOD
  • Corey Fucking Cott my dudes Corey Cott is INCREDIBLE
  • the entire cast acts very well together, and also very well apart. they make everything flow super naturally, and are just amazing and perfect.
  • the Raw Emotion of the show is just amazing. there’s no “oh I’m sad but I’ll get over it” or “oh I’m in love with you” it all feels real and makes you feel it too
  • especially Julia. Laura Osnes manages to keep Julia a completely normal person. She gets mad and sad, but even while working through her husband’s death, she has moments of happiness. she can laugh and cry in the same scene, she can be perfectly fine one minute and not the next, Julia Trojan is just a very real person.
  • Corey Cott played Donny so well I couldn’t even comprehend it. His panic attacks were amazing acting, he collapsed in on himself and breathed like it was hard and was clearly having a physical problem, and when he told Julia how Michael really died he was sobbing. as in, had to pause his lines and collect himself, sobbing. audibly and visibly just crying. I’m sure part of it was genuinely Corey, since the show closes tomorrow and that has to be emotional, but it was acting and it was amazing
  • they all play off of each other easily, and every single person has amazing timing when it comes to lines and jokes. every joke landed, and every heartbreaker also landed.
  • i think that’s part of what makes the show so incredible. all of it feels real. every interacting makes sense, no conversation is just filler to get where you need to go, it all really felt like friends being friends, and because of that, the emotions changed realistically. 
  • Donny snapped several times, the biggest ones were with the club owner, the one with Nick, and when he yelled at Julia before explaining how Michael died, and every one you could see the pressure building before he couldn’t help it
  • the PTSD was really well shown, everyone dealt with it differently, and there were no jokes about it at all. it was very much presented as, this is what they have to live with, and people are ignoring it, and that’s a problem. nothing is “just like it was before” and nothing ever will be. maybe they didn’t die, but they went through hell, and ignoring it isn’t gonna get them anywhere, but they don’t know how to deal with it. So Donny throws himself into his music, Wayne schedules everything, Johnny is grateful for everything that happened to him because at least he doesn’t have to remember.
  • it was a heartbreaking show, I didn’t count how many times I cried but it was a lot.
  • Welcome Home, the last one, was so incredible.
  • the whole scene leading up to it was intense, because they started out so excited and then Jimmy comes back with the news that the wording of the contract gives away the band’s rights to the song, and then they’re angry, and then Donny decides to sing Welcome Home and they all get nervous
  • also, um, when Johnny said “You’re talking about a suicide mission” people laughed. as if he had made a joke. when it wasn’t a joke. this band had literally placed their sanity on top of the hope of winning. “during those few short hours a day/the noise in my head goes away” and Singing Welcome home could have gotten them blacklisted, meaning they never would have been able to perform again. “Suicide mission” wasn’t a joke, they literally may not have survived not having the band. 
  • anyway that was my interpretation of it, i didn’t laugh I cried. again.
  • so then they all agree to it, and they go onstage, and it’s announced that they’re going to sing Love Will Come and Find Me Again, and Donny tells Johnny to set the tempo
  • earlier he told the story about Michael and getting the tempo super fast, and the other version of Welcome Home they sang was slow, so Johnny started out slow, but Donny said “faster. faster. faster.” until it was really fast, and then said “now sing!” just like Michael did, and I cried some more
  • and then Laura’s performance. Ho. Ly. Shit. I know I’ve said “Raw Emotion” like ten times but this was probably the most emotional song I’ve ever seen done. She started singing “Johnny made it home. Most of him at least.” and Johnny’s emotions kicked in. every time she said a name, I cried harder and the band played harder. then everything but piano cut out for “Donny does his best, trying to pretend” and Corey bowed his head and you could tell the entire band was just overwhelmed by what they were doing and why, and they all knew they were ruining their chances of winning but they also all knew they were giving hopeless people hope, and the last chorus I’m pretty sure every single member of the Donny Nova Band was crying and I sure was
  • the entire cast was phenomenal. every single one of them. the band members played their instruments so well, and all of them were incredible actors, and even though not all of them had the Perfect Broadway Voices of Corey and Laura, they all sang like they meant it and they all had great voices. the ensemble was super high energy and fun to watch, and I loved them.
  • the music is obviously amazing. there isn’t a single song that doesn’t belong, and there isn’t a single song that wasn’t good to listen to, either fun or emotional or just plain good.
  • I’m in love with every single member of the Donny Nova Band
  • the constant theme of having each other’s backs was so good, and the shirt I got says “The Donny Nova Band” on the front and the band’s tour locations on the back, and says “Got your six” on the sleeve, and it’s amazing
  • anyway I need to sleep but um you’ll be hearing more about this work of art show soon because it was so freaking amazing
my regrets for the x-men movies

- no gambit/rogue in sight liKE AT ALL


- no kitty/peter, also where was ilyana at for like……six movies??

- there was no pure father-daughter kitty pryde and logan bonding

-fox made kitty look like a complete loser

- there was no pure father-daughter jubilee and logan bonding, either

- also for some reason there was never any of the bromance between kurt and logan that we love so much and I’m afraid I’ll never get to see it onscreen eVER

- do you guys remember how fox tantalized us with storm/logan in a deleted scene bc i sure do

-mariko. yashida.

- they killed my girl sILVERFOX DEAAAAAD *ugly sobbing*

- oh yeah james mangold was doubly heartless and tantalized us with jean/logan in another deleted LOGAN scene and tbh i ship that crap so hard that’s really what i’m salty about

- also seriously what the heck happened to sabertooth and are logan and victor really bros or not?????

Sanvers Week Day 7 - Soulmates

Cw: some mentions of violence, homophobia, sexual harassment and suicidal ideation.

In English they were known simply as Blackouts, but in Portuguese they were called As Apreensões  – The Fits – because even though science had determined years ago that they weren’t technically seizures, people afflicted with them were known to jerk violently, to roll their eyes back in their head, to wake with injuries they’d never fallen asleep with.

Nobody really knew why people got the nightmares, but Maggie’s Tia had a theory. She’d always said that God showed people the worst of their soulmate’s past, their absolute darkest memories, so that they would truly know to treat their heart tenderly, to never hurt that person more than they’d already been hurt. Over the years Maggie fell in love, almost too easily, always too messily, but through it all she slept soundly, never quite understanding why when she’d dream about girls, she’d dream only beautiful things.

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The Contest-Part 28

To celebrate Supernatural’s 15th season, the producers have decided to hold a contest to cast an unknown in a recurring role as Sam’s rumored love interest.  They are doing open casting calls all over the country.  Your best friend Nikki wants to go and she drags you along.

A/N: My inspiration for Nikki is the one and only Red, AKA @oriona75.  So I am actually telling two stories here, Jared and Readers, and Sam and Gemini’s.  It flips back and forth, so try and keep up! :)

Characters: Jared Padalecki, Reader, Best friend Nikki(OC) Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Mark Sheppard, Mark Pellegrino, Rory Montgomery (OC), PA Emily (OC) Cliff, Other Supernatural cast and crew

Master List

Part 1 (all parts are linked)

The next morning we all had early call times so Jared, Jensen, and I were going to ride in together. Jared and I were already in the car when Jensen came down.  He hesitated a moment before getting in.  He looked first at Jared, then at me.  “We good here?” he asked shortly.

Jared just nodded. I blew out an annoyed breath.  “Yes, DAD we are all good here.  Now, will you get in the damn car so we aren’t all late for work?” I snapped.

“Touchy, touchy,” Jensen muttered as he settled himself in the front seat and we finally headed to the studio.  Jared had been very quiet all morning, and I was wondering what was going through his mind.

“You okay, Jare?” I whispered

“Yeah, I’m just tired. Someone kept me up late last night,” he said with a grin.

I pulled at the collar of my shirt, showing him my neck. “The girls in makeup are gonna LOVE me today.  Lots of stuff to cover up.”

I heard Jensen snort from the front seat. “Somebody a little rough last night?” he questioned with that shit-eating grin of his.

“Stuff it, Ackles,” I responded, and then stuck my tongue out at him for good measure.

I looked over at Jared, and I noticed he was reading today’s call sheet. He didn’t look happy. “Your shooting with Rory today?” He said quietly.

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