i was so hot my face is red

Humans are Weird: Spices

Alien: Today in my “Human Studies” book, I’m reading about human foods.

Human: Ooh, cool.

Alien: But I’m not sure this is accurate. It says here that humans purposely ingest a plant high in a pain-causing chemical, capsaicin.

Human: Oh, peppers? Yeah. Spicy.

Alien: But why would you want to eat something that causes you pain?

Human: Some people like the burn. I think it causes the same sort of reaction as drinking alcohol…?

Alien: That activity doesn’t make sense to me either. Can we discuss it after?

Human: Sure.

Alien: So, these “peppers.” Do you enjoy eating them?

Human: Me? Well, not by themselves. But I do like somewhat spicy foods. My brother, though, he likes them much hotter. He’s eaten some really spicy peppers, even ate a ghost pepper by itself.

Alien: Ghost pepper.

Human: Yeah, it’s the spiciest natural pepper. His face got pretty red, and he got the hiccups.

Alien: That… doesn’t sound like a healthy reaction.

Human: It just means that it’s a really spicy pepper. I mean, if I ate one of those, it might kill me, but he was fine.

Alien. Why would it kill you?

Human: Too spicy. You have to have a tolerance for capsaicin or it can literally kill you. And the ghost pepper is so hot that to handle it, you gotta wear gloves.

Alien: Your planet has plants that can KILL people, and which you can’t handle directly, and your brother ATE ONE, by ITSELF??

Human: Yeah.

Alien: …

Human: He says that when he gets desensitized to ghost pepper, he wants a Carolina Reaper.

Alien: I’m almost afraid to ask.

Human: …

Alien: What’s a Carolina Reaper?

Human: A pepper scientifically engineered for spiciness. It’s currently the world’s hottest pepper.

Alien: *stares at human in disbelief*

Alien: *stares at human studies book*

Alien: *stares at human again*

Alien: *whispers to self* How… how are humans real?

inspired by this video (sfw, but a sex toy is being used as car repair, so take that as you will)

“Laura’s gonna flip,” Derek says in dismay, looking at the huge dent in the driver’s side door of the Camaro. Her most precious possession, the car she’d been saving up for forever, the car she waxes and washes every weekend, the car that she let Derek borrow to go to the Mathletes competition in San Francisco because Derek had a basketball game on Friday and couldn’t make the official school bus, the car that Laura made him swear his life on, is now forever ruined.

“Damn, if there ever was a good place to curse, that would have been it,” Stiles says, crossing his arms and looking far more attractive than he had the right to. “C’mon, Derek. Just say it. Fuck.”

Derek blushes, watching the word tumble out of Stiles’ pink mouth. “No, I… there’s gotta be a way to fix it. But if I call her insurance people she’s gonna know…”

“It’s totally my fault,” Stiles says. “I was the one who wanted to go to Tastee Freeze on the way back, and let some dingbat hit you in the parking lot. Actually, it’s their fault, whoever can’t drive.”

Derek shakes his head. It’s his fault. He’d been having too much fun this weekend; he’d spent practically all of it with Stiles. He’d had a crush on him forever— in fact, joined Mathletes at his request, and the whole year of practice, of spending afternoons with Stiles poring over math problems, watching Stiles lick Cheeto dust off his fingers— it’s been too much. Coupled with the fact that Stiles actually just plain forgot to catch the bus on Friday, and then caught a ride with Derek, meant hours in the car listening to him sing along to Hamilton and muddle through the rap bits, and sleeping next to him in the four-to-a-room motel Saturday night, and waking up with Stiles’ face smashed into his shoulder.

Derek had been too overwhelmed by it all, too overwhelmed by Stiles. Getting the chance to spend time with his friend this weekend had just intensified his feelings, and he knows there’s no chance that Stiles will ever feel the same, so he’s just drinking it all in, savoring these moments when he can.

It had been a terrible parking job, the Camaro was at a weird angle, that’s why the person rounding the turn had hit him. Derek sighs. He guesses it’s for the best. He’ll just have to pay Laura back. For forever.

Stiles is studying the door, eyes narrowed in concentration. “Actually, it’s not that bad. They didn’t even scratch it. It’s just a dent. With the right amount of leverage…”

“I’m sorry, do you happen to have a magical car-door fixer in your overnight bag?”

Somehow, this causes Stiles to turn bright red. “Okay. I have an idea. But you have to promise not to laugh.”

“Okay…?”

Derek watches, perplexed, as Stiles pulls his duffle bag out of the back seat, and then rummages around in it.

“Promise not to laugh,” Stiles repeats.

“I promise.” Derek is confused, but sincere.

Stiles pulls a bright blue dildo out of the bag. It’s springy, and jiggles a little with the movement. There’s a thick vein running along the side, and the base even has… balls.

Derek’s brain short circuits, an image of Stiles, naked, working himself on the girth of the toy, his mouth open, panting, as he tries to get the right angle, skin flushed pink from pleasure…

“Fuck,” Derek says.

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anonymous asked:

Could you do some Phil deepthroating Dan for the first time and Dan starts crying because he's afraid he's choking with Phil coming down his throat because of how much Dan's hiccuping? Honestly, I'd give my life for this shit.

“Pleaseee?” Dan whined, pouting and rocking where he sat cross legged on Phil’s bed.

“Dan, I don’t think that’s-”

Dan interrupted him by pouncing on him, pinning him and pushing him backwards on the bed. “Do you not want me or something…?”

Phil could feel his face flush, but he rolled his eyes at his hyper boyfriend.

“I do, Dan, of course I do but I-”

“Then what’s the problem!” Dan trailed his fingers down Phil’s stomach, placing a messy kiss on his jaw. “Don’t you want my mouth on your cock?” He asked, softly.

Phil sucked in a sharp breath. “Baby-” he choked. “I do, I really really do, but I… I tend to get a bit… excited.”

Dan smirked, playing with Phil’s button teasingly, straddling his hips.

“Well good, that’s the point.”

Phil took a shaky breath, allowing Dan to unbutton his jeans and begin to push them down his hips, revealing the clear tent in his boxers from all this. Dan grinned wickedly.

Dan had been trying to get this from Phil for ages, and now that they were finally alone together, in Phil’s room, he was gonna pin him down. No escaping this time.

Dan was a giant cockslut, and Phil’s dick was… fuck.

“I don’t wanna hurt you,” Phil whined breathily, playing with Dan’s hair as he slid down Phil’s stomach.

“You won’t.” Dan frowned. “How would you hurt me?”

Phil swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing, and bit his lip. “I told you, I get a bit excited…”

Dan crawled back up the bed, pressing his nose to Phil’s. “Choke me,” he whispered. “Fuck my throat, don’t care. Wanna get you off.”

Phil let a shuddery gasp fall from his lips, and he nodded, no words coming to mind.

“Tap my hip twice if you want to stop,” he finally muttered, and now Dan nodded.

He went back down, brushing his hands down Phil’s stomach and making him shiver. Dan’s lip quivered with anticipation.

He slowly rubbed at the head of the bulge in Phil’s boxers, looking up to watch his reaction. He didn’t regret it when Phil groaned, a soft, strangled noise, gripping Dan’s hair tightly.

Dan grinned, dipping down to kiss his tip; mouthing him slowly and teasingly.

Light huffs of frustration and arousal were leaving Phil’s mouth in bursts, and he squirmed under Dan’s touch. It felt nice to have him be the one like this; it was usually Dan whimpering at the slightest touch from the older.

“Dan,” Phil whined, tugging at his hair, and Dan nodded.

He tugged at the waistband of the older boy’s boxers, pulling them off over his erection. As soon as they were past his knees, Dan went to work. He took Phil’s head into his mouth, swirling his tongue and flicking over the tip like he had practiced so many times for this exact moment.

Phil moaned loudly, throwing his head back, shifting his legs.

Dan couldn’t help himself anymore; he sunk down on his cock, his mouth enveloping Phil’s shaft and taking it to the hilt. He only lasted a few seconds before he was pulling back, sputtering and gasping for breath.

Phil gasped sharply, tugging on Dan’s hair and pulling him back down, desperate for more. Dan obliged, swallowing around his cock and licking everywhere he could reach.

“Fuck, Dan,” Phil cursed, his voice strained and broken, and Dan’s dick twitched in his jeans. He moaned around Phil, and Phil instinctively bucked his hips.

Dan choked, a muffled gagging noise humming against Phil’s cock as it hit the back of his throat. He could feel his face going red, but fuck this was hot, and Phil was clearly enjoying it.

Dan blinked up at him, rutting slightly against the bed, watching Phil grip the sheets beneath him.

“D-Dan, n-need-”

Dan pulled off with a pop, his eyes glinting.

“Fuck my mouth.”

Before Phil could respond Dan flipped them, so Phil was hovering over his face, and Dan sucked on his tip.

Phil groaned, his thighs shaking, but he hesitated. “Dan, I’ll hurt you.”

“I don’t care,” Dan breathed, trying to pull Phil’s hips down. “I’ll be fine. I’ll stop you if I need it. Two taps, remember?”

Phil pressed his lips together, and slowly nodded, shifting his hips so his cock was perfectly over Dan’s mouth.

Phil thrust slowly at first, not reaching the back of Dan’s throat, and Dan responded eagerly; licking and sucking at every part of him he could reach. Phil trembled with need, and finally gave in, snapping his hips.

Dan gagged, a wet, whiny noise that made Phil groan and do it again.

Dan gripped Phil’s hips, digging his nails into the flesh as Phil thrust again and again. He could feel his face going very red, and his breathing was ragged and short, getting hardly any time to get the oxygen he needed.

But still, he was insanely aroused by the fact that Phil was using him like this, using his mouth as a toy. Just something to get him off.

Dan whimpered around Phil’s shaft, his lips stretched to the maximum. He felt tears being squeezed out of his eyes, and he couldn’t breathe, but he would never make Phil stop. He was making such delicious noises from above him, fucking into Dan’s mouth greedily, gripping the pillow at his head.

Dan gagged wetly, barely aware of the tears now streaming down his face. His mind was fuzzy, all of his senses focused on Phil. He clawed at Phil’s hips desperately, rutting his hips against nothing. He squeezed his eyes shut, choking, and he hiccuped.

Phil groaned, snapping his hips hard, and Dan whimpered, hiccuping again.

“Fuckfuckfuck,” Phil cursed breathlessly. “Holy shit, Dan, baby, so good.”

Dan hummed, hiccuping a third time and making a noise that sounded like a suction cup. Now he couldn’t stop hiccuping, squirming under Phil, choked sobs emerging, conflicted between escaping the thing blocking his air and leaning into it.

Without warning Phil came down his throat, pulling back to finish on his lips. Dan gratefully licked it up, gasping for breath, his face regaining color.

“Shit,” Phil cursed again, sitting up and reaching forward to touch Dan’s face, drawing his thumb over his bottom lip. “Are you okay? Shit, you’re gonna have bruises on your lips, god I’m so sorry-”

“Phil,” Dan interrupted, his voice raspy and quiet. Phil’s eyes widened. “It’s fine. I asked for it. I’m…” he smiled sleepily. “I’m glad that now everyone can see I’m yours.” He was stifled by a yawn, blinking at his boyfriend.

“Alright baby,” Phil whispered, still somewhat concerned. “I’m guessing you’re staying the night…?”

Dan didn’t answer, falling backwards on his bed, falling asleep immediately.

Heart on the Line (part 6)

Masterlist

You and Bucky had your differences in college, but now you need a place to stay and he needs a roommate, and in order to make ends meet, you two start a phone sex line together.  

“For a Good Time, Call…” AU


author: sugardaddytonystark (formerly buckysbackpackbuckle)
pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
word count: 1114

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DUFF (CHAPTER 3)

Originally posted by nnochu

Chapter 3

╳ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

╳ Genre: fluff, smut, angst 

 ╳ Summary: Being the Duff has really changed you.”“Excuse me, the Duff?” I asked, my voice rising a little at the end.“You know, the Designated. Ugly. Fat. Friend.”


As soon as I stepped into the house, I knew I would regret it. The music was so loud, I could feel the bass pounding through my chest. The living room was crammed full with people, and the thought of actually having to walk into that was giving me anxiety. But just remembering that this was Yoongi’s house was making my stomach do summersaults.

“Y/n, lighten up will you? It’s a party, you’re supposed to be having fun.” Lisa said, snaking her arm over my shoulder.

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Dorm Mates AU
  • Harry and Ron were SUPPOSED to be roommates but Ron fucked up and forgot to request him
  • On move in day Harry bumps into this asshole who’s bitching about someone touching his “imported scarves”
  • Harry doesn’t have a lot to unpack so he’s already set up when that same asshole barges into the room. He doesn’t even notice Harry as he orders the poor volunteers around, telling them how to set up and “that doesn’t go THERE what are you, an animal???”
  • When the storm clears Harry just stands there blinking as Draco finally notices him. He offers him his hand to shake with his signature “Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. And you are…?”
  • Harry reluctantly takes it. “… Harry Potter”
  • Throughout the school year they’re very short with each other, usually hanging out with other groups. They still respect each others rules and lifestyles within the dorm, but rarely ever talk.
  • One night, late into the year, Draco comes in shit faced drunk while Harry is studying.
  • He starts crawling all over Harry on the bed and ends up laying in his lap talking about how everyone wants to be friends with him because of his father and how sometimes he doesn’t even like the people he hangs out with and stuff like that
  • After his long rant they just kinda sit there and suddenly Draco looks up like “You’re really hot you know that? Like suuuper hot. That’s why all those girls are after you. But you’re so stupid you don’t even realize it. Honestly.”
  • He kinda goes on about how hot Harry is and how sometimes he wants to make out with his stupid face and how the way his expressions are on a day to day basis is practically killing him but then Draco starts falling asleep mid-rant and just passes out on Harry’s lap.
  • Harry just sits there in stunned silence before sliding out from under Draco and going to Rons to spend the night
  • Draco wakes up feeling horrible and he doesn’t remember a lot from the night before. When he sees he’s on Harry’s bed and Harry is gone he starts panicking like “fuck fuck FUCK what did I do??”
  • Later that night Harry comes back and they exchange awkward “heys” before Draco gets all formal saying he’s sorry if he said anything out of term or caused any trouble
  • Harry just laughs like “you’re fine its cute the way you act when you’re drunk”
  • Draco is internally screaming at "cute” but he’s like “nevertheless I should not have imposed you-”
  • Harry interrupts him like “dude enough you don’t have to act so up tight with me I’m not gonna judge you”
  • And after a bunch of back and forth they’re suddenly criss crossed on the floor talking about their stupid aunt and uncle or how strict their houses are and they’re up talking until 2AM and somehow Draco ends up in Harry’s lap again ranting away and Harry is playing with his hair, only stopping when he agrees with something (“RIGHT?? How stupid is that???”)
  • There’s a small pause as they catch their breath and wind down a bit
  • Draco closes his eyes while Harry combs through his bangs before asking “So last night I just ranted about my friends at you?”
  • Harry chuckled and makes a mysterious comment like “among other things”
  • “Like what?” Draco is sweating now oh god what did I say to this beautiful boy
  • “Apparently I’m hot and I don’t even realize it”
  • Draco’s hands are on his face because he’s beet fucking red and Harry is laughing trying to pry them away
  • “don’t worry, don’t worry! I thought it was cute-” “don’t make fun of me!” “I’m not! Really! It was adorable! To be honest, I think everything you do is adorable” “OOHMYGOD PLEASE STOP”
  • and they both act like total fucking dorks until Harry manages to get Draco’s hands out of his face and plants a weird upside down kiss on his lips
  • Harry half-expects him to get embarrassed, but after a beat Draco’s pulling Harry back down with messy kisses and reposition’s himself so he’s straddling Harry’s lap
  • They’re wrapped around each other, Draco holding himself up so he can curve Harry’s head back and force his mouth open
  • Harry’s clawing at his back, about to slide his hands down to grab Draco’s hips when there’s a loud knock on the door (“are you fucking kidding me” goes through both their minds)
  • Ron’s coming from a party, drunk, trying to get Harry to go with him. Harry just takes Ron back to his dorm instead.
  • He expects Draco to be asleep when he gets back, which he is.
  • But on Harry’s bed.
  • Deliberately leaving space for Harry.
  • For the rest of the year they switch off on cuddling and making out with each other on different beds. Ron finds out at the end of the year and is more upset about how he could have half-dormed with them since they had an extra bed than the fact they were secretly dating all that time.

I think I’m in love with muggle AU’s of drarry. Also, make out scenes are my life. Fight me.

Sloppy Seconds

(Bucky Barnes x Reader) x Steve Rogers

Notes: THE TITLE IS SELF EXPLANATORY, PWP, one shot, smut.
Established relationship (Bucky x Reader), unlabeled relationship dynamic, explicit sex scenes, messy sex, threesome, DP, the author is going to hell for this, her bags are already packed

Summary: You and Bucky head home, ready to place the finishing touches on your date night. Steve calls, and everyone gets what they needed.

A/N: I needed this, too. Partly because I’m procrastinating on another story I should be writing, partly because I haven’t posted any new fics in a while, and partly because I needed this. Did you need it too? Let me know what you think, and as always—enjoy! ^_^




Bucky held your hand gently with his flesh one, leading you down the hallway to his room. You were both quiet but giggling innocently. Date night had gone well. It was a simple night out—movie and a dinner. You always preferred it in that order instead of the other way around. Watching the movie first meant that dinner didn’t have to be rushed. But you two skipped dessert to save time anyway. The real treat would come later in the night.

You were back in Bucky’s room. The lights were dimmed and soft ambient music filtered through Bucky’s computer speakers. The mood was set just the way you liked it. He approached you quietly, eying you sweetly. Both of your clothes came off easily, and soon Bucky had you on the ground in the nest of blankets and pillows set up in the corner. He rested his muscular, naked body between your equally naked legs and leaned over you. Bucky peppered kisses wherever he could until he finally met your lips. He ground his pelvis against yours, feeling your pussy get slick against his cock without slipping himself in quiet yet. He wanted to warm you up first.

Off in the pile of discarded clothes, Bucky’s phone began to ring. Neither of you noticed until it stopped and your phone started ringing right afterwards. Then Bucky’s twice. Back to yours again.

Bucky grinned against your lips before getting to his feet. “Oh right, our treat.” His semi-hard bobbed from side to side as he walked over to the clothes and dug out his phone. It was Steve.

The phone rang again and Bucky answered immediately.

“Hey Steve, you ready to come over?”

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TalesFromYourServer: Sir, I warned you, we don't refund the wings.

Hi everybody! Friendly neighborhood homo-barkeep here! Its my day off and I decided to tell yall this story from Saturday.

As Ive said, my bar has some small food items. One of these is a hellish recipe the owner made for hot wings, theyre amazing, but they will kick your ass if you aren’t a spicy food fanatic. Luckily, we have three levels: Hot Wings, Fire Wings, Hell Wings. The first two arent that bad but the Hell Wings are so hot they have to be prepared with gloves. I dont know all of what the owner puts in, but they marinate for 2 days in their sauce. They are painfully hot if you aren’t used to spicy foods(they make some people sick). The owner requires we warn anyone who orders them.

Anyway, we got a drunk guy at the bar who asked for a menu. So I toss him one and after a few minutes he calls me over and asks for the wings. I go through the spiel:

Me: Sir, are you sure about that? These wings are extremely hot. And once you have ordered them I cannot refund them. I can just give you one to let you try it.

Drunk Guy: Just gimme em. I aint no p***y

I send his order back to the kitchen and I go back to my job. His wings come up and I bring them over with ranch, blue cheese, and thousand island. I decide to walk over to the resturant side and retrieve a glass of milk just in case. I get back about two minutes later. And I am greeted by an always funny sight. A drunk guy, red in the face and sweating, thumping his leg, while a vein threatens to blow out of his forehead. I set the glass in front of him and he takes a drink, swishes it around and swallows, he repeats this drink by drink with the whole glass(I guess he is experienced with hot foods.) and slams the glass down(rude).

He’s panting but no longer red in the face. I look at his basket. He ate one wing and didnt touch the sauces(LPT: when trying wings at a new place, have your first bite with some sort of dip.). He doesnt seem to have any complaints so I go on with my night eventually taking his uneaten wings.

Eventually he flagged me down for his tab I print it out and bring it to him. As soon as I hand it to him he points at the wings on his ticket.

DG: you need to take those off.

Me: [oh this is gonna be good] was there something wrong with them?

DG: yeah they were too spicy.

Me: oh, well sir, I warned you about that when you asked for them. I also told you I can’t give refunds on them.

DG: BUT I ONLY ATE ONE!!

Me: and we had to make 15 of them.

DG: TAKE THEM OFF MY BILL OR I WONT PAY.

Me: sir, I cannot take them off and if you do not pay I will call the police.

He opened his mouth to argue but instead opened his wallet and counted out 67 dollars and told me to make sure to get his change. I didn’t care about the lack of tips. I was happy to have him gone. And I got free wings out of it.

TL;DR- I warned him they were spicy and I couldnt give a refund. Spoiler: he didn’t get a refund.

By: Michael_Ceras_Pubes

Is That My Shirt

Request: archie and #33 and #34? please & thank you <3 + #32 & #33 with archie?

Prompt’s: #32 “My clothes look good on you.” #33 “Is that my shirt?” #34 “Isn’t that a bit too big for you?”

a/n; I combined these requests since they were basically the same thing and they go together really well. 

Word Count: 478

Pairing: Archie Andrews X Reader


Y/N’s P.O.V

The doorbell rang downstairs, but I was too occupied in my current activity of dancing around my room in one of Archie’s t-shirts that I stole, along with a pair of pajama shorts, to even care about who could possibly be downstairs. “Now I gotta cut loose! Footloose, kick of the Sunday shoes!” “Please, Louise, pull me off of my knees!” I jumped at the sound of Archie joining in on my singing, except he can actually sing, where as I sound like a dying cow. “Please, don’t let me cut the show short.” He mumbled into my ear, kissing my cheek, his arms squeezing my waist from behind. 

The extra shirt fabric got tugged back with his hands as he moved, “isn’t that a bit too big for you?” Archie asked, flopping down onto my bed, I turned my music down, so I could actually hear him talk. “I think it fits just right.” I answered him, doing the air guitar as the next song started. “You’re crazy.” He grinned, sitting up on his elbows to watch me continue my crazy antics. “Wait,” he started off, catching sight of the shirt I was wearing, “is that my shirt?” He asked, with a laugh. 

I danced my way over to him, “and if it is?” I retaliated, placing my hands on my hips. Archie sat up on the edge of my bed, his face eye level with the top of my stomach, I was standing between his legs, my knees practically touching the bed. He snaked his arms around the back of my thighs, resting his chin against my stomach, “if it is, theoretically. I’d say,” he paused teasingly, acting as if he had to think of what to say, “my clothes look good on you.” He had a small smirk on his face as I ruffled his red headed locks, he tilted his down, smushing it against me. 

I squealed when he pulled my down onto the bed, now hovering over me, what is he the flash or something now? “Archie!” I laughed as he placed wet sloppy kisses across my face. “You’re gross.” I pushed his head back, “no, I’m hot.” He winked making me laugh, my face turning red. 

“I guess you kinda are.” I shrugged, “but not really.” I gently wrapped my arms around his neck, he laughed, knowing I was only poking fun at him. “So is this where some of my shirts have disappeared too?” He scanned me over quickly, “psst, no way.” I sarcastically lied, he dropped his weight on me, making me groan as he moved to the side, not completely smushing me this time. 

“I’ll let it go, on the condition that you where my shirts around me more often.” He offered, kissing the skin of my arm that was laying in front of him. “I can do that.”

more au ideas no one asked for
  • “you’re super short and i’m sorry but it’s really really cute whenever you try to reach that book on the top shelf here lemme help you- oh no don’t be embarrassed, your face is all red and you’re even more adorable now i am going to die” au
  • “i’m a biker and one day i was biking in your neighborhood while you just happened to be outside watering the plants and since you’re so goddamn cute i accidentally steered into a pole and now you’re giving me first aid (holy shit you’re even cuter up close)” au
    • “you’re biking through my neighborhood and you ran into a pole so now i’m really concerned and patching you up, oh my gosh you’re really hot even though you have a bloody nose” au
  • “i’m at a karaoke bar and i’m sober enough to realize that your voice singing my absolute favorite song is the most beautiful thing i’ve ever heard, and you caught me staring and winked at me oh shit” au
  • “you fell asleep on my shoulder on the plane ride and i would ask you to move but you look so comfy and adorable when you sleep. also you smell really good and the feeling of your breath on my skin is somewhat relaxing, maybe we can go out to lunch in this shitty airport when you wake up?” au
  • “you’re so perfect and i’m in love with you but i’ve never actually met you and you keep avoiding meeting up, so i called nev and max to help me figure out whether or not you’re catfishing me” au
    • “whoa it turns out you were actually just super shy and you’re even cuter in person pls kiss me in front of all these cameras” au to followup with that
  • “i’m a quiktrip worker and whenever I work a night shift, you always arrive and buy like 3 cans of redbull and you look exhausted, do you need some help? are you okay?” au
  • “you invited me to your brother’s/sister’s wedding as a plus one bc we’re hella best friends but we end up making out at the afterparty and now everyone thinks we’re fucking so uh,, u wanna go out for a drink sometime? try this whole couple thing out?” au
  • “my sister tried to set me up with her friend but little does she know that i am hella gay and i end up falling in love with her smoking hot brother, and whenever i hang at her place we always tell my sister that it’s for a date when really she’s now just trying to set me up with her brother” au
    • (this can be tweaked in any way to fit your otp :p)
  • “i’m one of those talk show stars that walks up to random people on the streets and asks them really obscure questions, and you’re really cute and camera shy and i’m sorry but it’s adorable how you stutter when you’re nervous, uh, perhaps when there aren’t so many cameras surrounding me i can buy you a drink?” au
    • “you just came up to me on the street and asked where the weirdest place i had sex was and i’m assuming it’s for one of those talk show things, but i’m really nervous because you’re really really hot in that suit holy shit” au
  • “will you stop flirting with me you just got seriously injured and i’m the EMT trying to tend to your wounds in the ambulance, i don’t give a fuck that i look cute when i’m concerned, you’re lucky you’re not dead you dipshit” au
  • “my mom/sister/dad/brother/best friend doesn’t know we’re dating but one day he/she/they walked in on us making out and started cheering oh my god this is so embarrassing i’m so sorry” au
  • “you have fire powers and i have ice powers and one day you save my ass and even though we’re supposed to be rivals, you’re actually really really cute and warm can i just stay in your arms forever bc i am perpetually cold” au
    • “you have ice powers and i have fire powers and i save your sorry ass from getting hurt/killed, okay i know we’re supposed to be rivals according to every legend ever but you’re adorable and wow you’re really cold, would you like me to warm you up?” au
  • “i’m so sorry i’ve been stowing away on your ship but i’m lonely and tired and starving with nowhere to go so please take pity on my poor soul bc you’re the sweetest pirate i have ever met and since we’re in the middle of the ocean now there’s no way you’re taking me back to land anytime soon” au
    • “i would be furious at you for stowing away on my ship if it weren’t for the fact that you look really sick and sad can i help you” au
  • “dude why did that siren take on my image to try and seduce you, is there something you wanna tell me” au
  • “I’m an elf with really bad aim so while hunting i accidentally shot you in the shoulder with an arrow i’m so sorry can i make it up to you in any way? oh shit you’re a wizard, please don’t turn me into a frog i’ll do anything you want me to” au
  • “we’re coworkers and all the other employees ship us so just for fun we all go out clubbing/to a bar but little do we know its actually a plot they set up to get us to realize our supposed love for each other. wait you’re actually a really good dancer and your laugh is so endearing and, holy shit, maybe our colleagues were right” au
  • “i catch you at the bus terminal shivering your ass off because it’s 30 degrees and for some godforsaken reason you’re wearing a short sleeve t shirt, so out of pity i lend you my hoodie and you look so surprised it’s the cutest thing i’ve ever seen, setting aside the fact that you’re a goddamn idiot, do you want to get sick?” au
    • (cont.) “you look so sad and cold that i just tell you to keep my hoodie b/c you obviously need it more than i do. a week later i see you at a coffee shop/book store/etc. and you’re wearing my hoodie which you look so fucking tiny and cute in, and you just saw me and you look super embarrassed; you offer me it back but i tell you it suits you more and we end up talking and i buy you a drink” au
  • “we’re partners in cupcake wars and i never realized how cute you look with frosting on your face until now but no distractions, we have to fucking pummel these other teams because we are the best goddamn cupcake company in the universe WE CAN DO THIS” au
  • “i’m swimming laps in a lake alone at night and i thought no one else was here but i just swam right into you and uh?? you’re not wearing a shirt and you’re hot as hell pl ease take me right here” au
  • “i took you to my family’s lakehouse and we went jetskiing which you were so adorably excited about b/c you’ve never been, and when we drove around on the water at ungodly speeds u held onto me b/c there was nothing else to hold onto” au
  • “my friends dared me to buy 20 condoms but i didn’t realize that the cute cashier would be working tonight so i avoided eye contact as i piled them onto the counter and please stop laughing so hard, oh my god it’s for a dare okay i’ve never had sex in my life and once you stopped laughing, i swear i fell in love with that sparkle in your eye as you grinned wildly at me and asked me out for a drink” au
  • “i accidentally called the wrong skype number and it turns out the person i called was you and you’re in a different time zone, so it’s 3am where you are and you just woke up and look fucking pissed but you’re cute so… let’s do this again when you’re not asleep. i’m more than willing to stay up into the dead of night to talk to you” au
  • “i’m a radio host who indirectly mentions you and flirts with you on my show but you’re so goddamn clueless, please just notice me i’m so desperate for you it’s kind of sad (see: welcome to night vale)” au
Painful Beauty (Mark x FemReader) FLUFF

Originally posted by nacija

(( gif not mine - ah I love Ethan omg ))

(A/n): lmao so I just decided that this was pretty cute. I was reading through the prompt’s that I reblogged and I got inspired by number 23. I hate you

Summary: Mark, Ethan and Tyler do a video with you where they do your makeup with things they find in the kitchen.

Warnings: If I said there wasn’t any swearing and fluff, I’d be lying.

_____

“Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier, and this is the kitchen face challenge!”

The introduction was cheery as per-usual. From the camera’s view, Ethan and Tyler stood on the right of (Y/n); with Mark speaking on the left.

The four were stationed in Mark’s studio, right in front of a large flat screen T.V that showcased a tranquil forest setting.

“Yayy….” (Y/n) uttered manageably, her enthusiasm forced and dry.

Ethen shared (Y/n)’s look of discomfort from beside her, shifting uncomfortably on his heels and giving the camera a cringy smile.

Ouchh,” Mark laughed along with Tyler before Tyler began to explain.

“So basically,” he took a glance at both you and Ethan “Mark is going to do (Y/n)’s full face and I’m going to do Ethan’s and at the end, who’s ever looks the best?” he drawed out and looked to Mark “Wins??”

“Exactly it Tyler.” Mark confirmed. “SO LET’S DO THIS. CAN WE GET 506,000,000 LIKES FOR HOT SAUCE EYESHADOW?!”

The camera zoomed in on Tyler’s face in silence.

They all laughed and broke apart.

“I’ll go get the tarps, yeah?” Tyler asked

“Yes, thanks Ty. (Y/n), you and Ethen go get your chairs that you will be sitting on,” asked Mark “and I will go get the tools~!” he finished in a manic, silly voice.

“Mark,” (Y/n) sighed and she turned to walk with Ethan “I hope you make me look fucking beautiful!”

❆  ❆  ❆

“Okay so I know you are my boyfriend and I should trust you,” (Y/n) began, leaning back in her chair “but I don’t.” she finished.

“NooOOooOoooOoooo…!” Mark whined “I trust me, so you should too.”

Tyler laughed and grabbed his phone.

“Alright, we each have exactly three minutes.” he said

“Ohh god.” groaned Ethen “(Y/n), let’s survive together, okay?” he held out a hand to said girl.

“Alright. You are my anchor.” she replied, dramatically grabbing his hand.

“CRANK(Y/N) CONFIRMED!” Mark and Tyler both shouted at the same time, causing you all to laugh once again.

“I guess I shouldn’t be saying that, because we are dating,” Mark chuckled “so, Ethen! Stay away from my woman, ya’ little blue bastard!”

Everyone laughed more.

“Okay, one… twothreego!” Tyler said quickly, hastily shoving his phone to the side.

“Oh, oh, okay!” Mark sputtered and looked at all the kitchen condiments below him, on the tarp.

“Way ahead of you.” Tyler stated, shoving some flour onto Ethen’s cheeks. “Beauty!” he said in some accent.

“LORDY, I cAN’T SEE!” Ethen wailed, beginning to paw at his eyes.

“DETAILS, DETAILS!” Tyler laughed loudly.

(Y/n) turned slowly to Mark and mouthed ‘please no’, the camera zoomed in on her face.

“Classic red lips is what I’m up for!” Mark said back, a goof smile on his face.

He took some Red Hot and dabbed a bit on his finger tip, being gentle when spreading it upon the girl’s lips. Tipping some also on her cheeks for extra measure.

“It burns.” she hissed, squinting her eyes.

“Beauty is pain, beauty is pain…” Mark repeated, continuing to scour the tarp. The brunette suddenly turned and winked in the direction of the lens. “That’s why it pains me to look at (Y/n) sometimes, because she is so damn pretty.”

“Awe~” she drawled. The Red Hot covered her actual blush.

“Well it pains me to look at you too Mark,” Ethan snickered “because you are so damn ugly.” and then he groaned again “That and this fucking flour makes it hurt when I open my eyes…”

Everyone laughed along with him.

“How much time we got?” Mark questioned.

“Thirty seconds.” Tyler replied. He was finishing up added a coco-powder beard to Ethen.

“Ah, balls!” Mark cried and at last minute snatched the vegemite. “Can someone say eyeshadow? Because I sure can.” he chuckled.

“I fucking can’t.” (Y/n) laughed as Mark applied the heavy spread to her eye lids.

“Time!” Tyler called.

Mark and (Y/n) both couldn’t stop laughing.

“I hate you.” (Y/n) sighed and didn’t even bother to open her eyes.

“Ya’ love me.” Mark said back, laughed his funny laugh, and leaned down to the girl’s face to give her a kiss.

(Y/n) could feel Mark in front of her and knew what he was looking for, so she gave it to him.

A sweet, Red Hot kiss.

“Oh my god, I hate you!” Mark cries dramatically, laughing quaintly “It. BURNS.”

“Beauty is pain.” the rest of them said in unison, bellowing with laughter.

_____

(A/n): Ah this one is cute though. I really do like this one, even though it’s pretty short?? Oh well. It’s great.

By Your Side (Klance Sickfic)

Based on the prompt: When Character B whines and Character A shoves them away until they realise that Character B never complains unless they’re sick and immediately begins to look after them

For: @403secret (follow her because she’s great!)

~•~

“Keith…”

The tapping of laptop keys had been the only sound for half and hour and Keith had liked that. He had liked the fact that there had been silence. Lance had (for once) listened to him and there had not been one peep out of him, the sound of the TV barely audible in the background.

Keith ran a hand through his hair, grimacing at its greasiness. He rubbed his eyes furiously and stared at the screen, the word count almost where it was supposed to be at. Groaning, he glanced behind him to face his boyfriend, gaze immediately returning to his computer.

“What is it, Lance?” The stress and hours of long work had worked their way into his voice and he sounded annoyed. “I’m busy right now.”

Lance, instead of answering, shuffled closer and wrapped his arms around his neck, chin resting atop his head. “I’m lonely. You’ve been working on that essay for hours.” There was a slight pressure as he spoke and he raised his voice in pitch. “Watch a movie with me.”

Keith rolled his eyes and turned his gaze to the screen. “I’m almost done. Go, I’ll be there in a sec.” He swatted a hand in the general direction and pried the arms from around his neck.

Lance protested and grabbed his arm, shaking it. “Please, Keith! Just one Spongebob episode.”

“Lance, I swear I’ll be done in five minutes.” His fingertips were already typing quickly, “just a couple hundred words more.”

“But I can’t wait five minutes,” Lance was whining now, grip growing tighter around his arm and Keith ground his teeth in brief anger. “I want you to stop now!” His voice was petulant.

Pulling his arm away, Keith glared at his particularly trying boyfriend. “I’ll be there when I’m ready! Seriously, Lance.”

There was a silence again and Keith put all his effort into finishing it, not even aware of the dejected form leaving the room. It took longer than five minutes, for he spent most of it regretting his cross words and another few minutes wondering at the niggling in the back of his mind. He was missing something, something was off. He stretched himself, arms stretching above his head and yawned. Being sure to save his hard work, he shut the laptop.

Now all he had to do was apologise for the fact that he’d snapped at his boyfriend’s whining. That was never usually something that happened. Keith always controlled his temper and anyway, Lance never usually whined. He only ever whined when he was-

Keith’s formerly slumped body jolted up in realisation, eyes wide, a curse escaping his mouth. Lance only whined when he was sick! And he had just pushed him away for an assignment that wasn’t due for a week, completely and utterly ignoring him. Groaning at his dense mind, he immediately headed for the sitting room.

The television was still playing on low, a loud, yellow sponge crying a literal puddle of tears on the screen. He couldn’t help but smile a little at that as he peeked through the door. Lance had such childish tastes. Tiptoeing in, he saw a tuft of dark hair peeking out from the couch.

As he approached his boyfriend, he took in his slumped figure, a blanket wrapped around him tightly. His eyes were closed and his body rose and fell as he slept. A little bit of drool escaped his parted lips, cheeks flushed in fever and hair tousled. Cute, his mind provided.

He had fallen asleep waiting for a useless boyfriend such as him. God, he was such an idiot.

Careful not to disturb him, he placed a hand on his forehead and winced at the high temperature emanating from his skin. Then he gently lifted him up, careful not to jostle him too much, marvelling at how sound asleep he was and how nice he looked even when sick. He made his way over to the bedroom, fiddling around with the door handle for a bit. Placing him gently on the bed, he rearranged the blanket around his prone form and left.

Grabbing the medicine and a glass of water in a hurry, he reentered the room. Lance had moved, blanket kicked off. Ignoring it for the moment, he took out a pill and made his way over to Lance.

He shook him gently, relief filling his veins as his eyes fluttered open. Keith did not speak, for he was not good at talking when people were sick. He always ended up sounding angry and Katie had often said that his bedside manner was nonexistent.

Lance looked confused for a moment, eyes unfocused. He licked his dry lips for a moment before speaking. “Did you finish your essay?” He looked up at Keith worriedly. “I think I fell asleep.”

“You have a fever. Just take the medicine and get to sleep.” He spoke flatly and Lance seemed to deflate at his tone, nodding silently. Trust Lance to ask about his work first.

With that, he placed a hand behind Lance’s neck and helped him to take the medicine. Then he stood up to put the glass away, but a hot hand fumbled at the hem of his shirt clumsily.

“Don’t go, Keith.“ Lance plaintively spoke, eyes round and wide. Then he seemed to remember something and pulled away reluctantly. “You can finish your essay. I forgot.” His eyes looked a bit teary and he tried to hide it by turning his back to him. “You can go,” he uttered, voice muffled.

Abandoning the glass on the floor, Keith sighed and crept in beside him, wrapping his arms around Lance’s skinny waist. Lance stiffened a little, but didn’t move. Nuzzling his face in his hair, Keith inhaled the familiar scent of coconuts.

“I’m sorry, Lance. I didn’t mean to yell or get angry.” There was no response, so Keith continued, his thoughts leaving his mouth softly against his hair. “I should have realised that spending time with my boyfriend is more important than an essay. And I didn’t notice you were sick either, which I should have figured out right away.”

Lance finally, finally turned to face him, eyes red, but face a bit brighter. “It’s okay.” He buried his face into his neck, and Keith found he didn’t mind the hot, wet feeling on his skin nor the tight grip of arms around his midsection. “Just don’t leave me for a while. You’re a comfortable body pillow despite your prickly personality. Lord knows how I’ve put up with it.”

Keith chuckled and brought up a hand to pat his head of hair. “So I’ve been downgraded from a boyfriend to a body pillow?” He knew he didn’t have to worry that much if Lance was insulting him.

“I would call it an upgrade. My precious arms are wrapped around you.” His hot breath was not uncomfortable on his neck as he spoke and Keith closed his eyes, a hand running through Lance’s soft hair, tucked beneath the boy’s neck, breath evening out.

“Just go to sleep. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Then, much to his surprise Keith fell asleep, a hand in Lance’s hair and another draped over his waist. Lance fell asleep soon after, but not before tightening his grip and reaching up to plant a kiss on his cheek gently.

“Love you too, Keith.”

fool (m)

member: kim taehyung (ceo!tae)

genre: smut 

sent in & written by, al-sof (penname)

Originally posted by mvssmedia

Keep reading

Perfect

Pairing: Destiel
Tags: High School AU, smut, friends to lovers
Prompt: 52.“Oh, gosh, you’ve insulted me! What ever shall I do? I’ll be mentally and emotionally scared for years!”
Note: This was a prompt from a long time ago that I owe to @pretentiosity and @mishackl …..hope you like it an sorry it took forever!! <3

art credit

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Stop That

Originally posted by thegalrakeith

Request: Can we request some Ethan fluff? Just plain old fluffiness <3


“You have to stop that.”

I turned to Ethan, surprised. We had been walking down the street, trying to take advantage of the beautiful day. It was silent for the most part as we soaked in the warm air and the comforting sound of the birds, and just the overwhelming content that came with being in each other’s company. It was a comfortable silence, I thought. 

“Stop what? I didn’t do anything.”

He looked at me for a couple seconds before he bit his lip and looked away. 

“Yes you are. You’re smiling that cute, little smile and your hand keeps brushing against mine when we walk. Your hair is falling around your face perfectly and you look so fucking beautiful. You need to stop doing things that make me want to kiss you.”

I was awestruck. That was the last thing I expected him to say. My face heated up and I could tell that it was turning bright red. I knew I had to say something because he was starting to shuffle his feet and I knew that he was feeling awkward now. I didn’t know what I was doing, but before I could stop it, the words fell out.

“Maybe I should keep doing them then.”

I couldn’t make eye contact with him. My face was so hot I thought it was going to burst into flames. My heart was beating so fast I was certain that it would jump out of my chest. 

“Maybe you should.”

Next thing I know, Ethan’s hands are gripping the sides of my face and he’s pressing his lips to mine. it takes a few seconds to comprehend what’s happening but once I do I don’t hesitate to tangle my fingers through his hair. We stayed like that for a while until he pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. 

“You should definitely keep doing them.”

anonymous asked:

Hey hey ♡ I have a little request for you since I fell in love with your writings. How would the RFA, Searan and V react if fem!MC would call them "master" ? I'd love a NSFW version :)

okay so the context for this is basically MC works at a maid cafe and ‘accidentally’ says that to them 

also NSFW lmao i can try but- y’all know i’m bad at sin xD


Yoosung:

  • he walked through the door expecting the more than normal “hello” from MC but
  • instead it was “Good day, Master~”
  • one of those big anime “EHHHH?!” things
  • he can’t even form words like omfg what the heck just happened? 
  • he immediately starts blushing because he’s really turned on and he just covers his mouth in embarrassment 
  • Knees weak and slightly shaking he makes his way over to MC and just literally f a l l s into her arms cuz he’s so. damn. lightheaded from MC’s simple, less than provocative words
  • “M-MC.. please give me a heads up before you do something like that, my heart can’t go from doki doki to heart ATTACK.”
  • MC: ??? did i do something do i need to call ambulance

Zen:

  • He just came back from a run
  • Nice and sweaty… steamin’ hot, really.
  • Anyway he’s like taking a sip from his water bottle when he opens the door 
  • “Welcome, Master!”
  • he just cHOKES 
  • he’s over there like coughing cuz water almost got into his lungs all the while MC is still pouncing around in her fricken (work) clothes
    • which is hella kawaii btw 
  • and he’s feeling it man
  • it’s now or never 
  • so he promptly recovers from his coughing fit and picks up MC bridal style 
  • “EW you’re getting my costume all sweaty and gross”
  • “How can you say that to your “Master”?“
  • *MC’s face turns flush red when she realizes what her slip up has now caused
  • weoo not complaining for what’s to happen next though ;))

Jaehee:

  • I thought we promised to keep it PG 
  • but not today honey, not today
  • Jaehee was working (the usual) 
  • MC brought in some coffee so she could stay alive awake
  • and as she sets down the cup, MC just asks as if it were natural
  • “Master, would you like me to draw a cat on top of your latte?”
  • The only thing Jaehee could see atm was MC in a freaking a kitty lingerie outfit
  • she’d never liked cats more before
  • snapping back into reality she saw MC’s face staring at her dumbfounded
  • cuz she ain’t a perv like u baehee 
  • And she gives Jaehee a peck on the lips before she gets pulled under by Jaehee’s naughty, naughty thoughts

Jumin:

  • it was Sunday morning and he was playing with Elly as usual
  • MC was in the kitchen making some kitty shaped pancakes for the two of them but what Jumin didn’t know was that MC dressed up as a maid for the fun of it (since he never got to see her in it)
  • “Master~ breakfast is served” she announced as she left the kitchen looking SUPER ADORABLE in her outfit 
  • Jumin just stares at her and a sly smile begins to form on his lips
  • “Did you wear that for me?”
  • MC gives him a little wink and
  • He snickers a little and leaves Elly to play alone
  • *kabedon MC against the wall*
  • you can choose a pose (but tbh i think pose #4 is just perfect)
  • “would i get in trouble for ripping this?” he says has he tugs roughly at her skirt

707:

  • so he was just playing on his computer and suddenly MC just spins his chair around
  • his eyes widen at the sight of her in a maid outfit
  • “How do I look, Master?”
  • then he starts getting r e a l e x c i t e d
  • REAL EXCITED FOR:
  • to MC’s dismay, he decides to hold a maid outfit challenge
  • and they literally have to Skype call all of the RFA to get votes
  • also did i mention Zen voted for Seven lmfao
  • sorry MC, no sexy time for you - Seven’s just… being Seven

Saeran:

  • He was just tryna get some new socks okay
  • little cinnamon bun innocent as hell but
  • he accidentally walked in on MC changing out of her work clothes
  • “M-MC?”
  • unconsciously she answers “Yes, master?”
  • whoop 
  • there he goes, red as a tomato
  • “M-master?”
  • MC looks at him kinda confused like why is he so red-
  • ohhhh
  • OHHHHH
  • so she decides to play with this cute bby a little more
  • she leans in real close man so close he can feel her hot breath on his neck
  • “Or should I say… my saviour?”
  • RIGHT ON THE MONEY THE BEAST HAS BEEN RELEASED

V:

  • MC just came back from work and he can’t see her outfit because he’s freaking blind ok
  • but he can smell her perfume
  • “MC, you’re home!”
  • he walks over to give her a hug
  • “Yes, Master~”
  • he kinda stiffens like 
  • what did she just say?
  • MC goes in for a tight hug and he can feel all the frilly fabric 
  • and his breath hitches a bit because she smells like cotton candy and 
  • he’s suddenly a little choked man he’s gotta loosen the non-existent tie around his neck to calm the f down
  • and he like clears his throat a little
  • BUT THEN MC goes in for a kiss and he just cannot anymore 
  • “MC let’s go to the room to finish this”

LOL i wanted to add pics cuz it’s more fun lmao 

also sorry this is very SFW

~Cherry L.


Masterpost: click here

Askbox/Requests: click here

anonymous asked:

Gabe with an S/O that has a daddy kink? Like they're doing something and they casually call him daddy? (he/him if you can)

((A/N - My weakness. I need to work on actually putting it into words though.))

“You’ve been pushing him too hard.”
“He pushes himself.”
“And you stand around and do nothing.”
“What am I supposed to do, Gabe?”
“Cut him some slack, Jack. He’s underneath you in your department.”
“And for good reason. Otherwise you’d be too soft on him.”
“I would not. I’m the Commander of Blackwatch. I can’t be soft.”
“And yet here you are. Favouritism.”

A growl escaped from Gabriel, knowing his old time friend was right.

“Make him relax. I’m sure you’ll know how.”

***

You shifted around, realising you had fallen asleep on the lumpy couch again. Rubbing your eyes, you sneaked a peak at your watch on your wrist and realised you’d overslept. Throwing the itchy grey blanket off of you, you rushed towards the bathroom to take a quick shower. You tried opening the door to find it was locked. You rapped on the door.

“Gabe? Are you in there? I need to have a shower!”
“Cariño, it’s Saturday.” He replied, voice muffled through the door.
“Oh.”

The door clicked open and there stood your boyfriend with just his black tracksuit bottoms on, still drying his face with a white towel but the rest of his body was glistening. You scanned his toned torso, looking up to meet his eyes when he pulled the towel away.

“Go back to bed.” He commanded.
“I was on the couch.” You replied.
“Why?” He demanded.
“Was tired.”
Gabe sighed. “Well go to bed then. It’s stupid o'clock in the morning.”
“Only if you come with me?” You smiled.

You turned around and made your way to the bedroom, glancing over your shoulder to see if he was following you. You pouted and fluttered your eyelashes at him when you saw he was still standing in the doorway to the bathroom, arms crossed and looking at you with one eyebrow raised.

“Go to bed. I’ll join you in a minute.”
You frowned.
“That’s an order.”
“Yes, daddy.” You mumbled under your breath.

You turned around but before you could take even one step, Gabe had called out.

“What did you just say?”

Your eyes widened. You really hoped he hadn’t heard you. It just slipped out. You weren’t supposed to say it. It was just a fantasy you had and well, you’d accidentally said it. You heard footsteps and then felt a grip on your arm and a breath by your ear.

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” He snarled.

Your breath hitched. How you were going to get out of this you honestly had no idea.

“Nothing. I didnt say anything.” You whispered.

His grip around your arm tightened, now pulling it behind your back. The movement made you bend forwards slightly to put you in a very compromising position.

“I’m trained to get information out of my prey.”

Your eyes fluttered closed. You loved when he turned like this, but hated how much it turned you on. You felt a tightening in the trousers you had fell asleep in, wiggling to try and ease the pressure.

“Tell me.”

“Daddy. I called you daddy.” You managed to sputter out. You felt your cheeks become red hot, bowing your head down trying to hide your face from him.

He suddenly let go so you were able to stand up. He held your shoulders and span you around. You quickly moved your hands to cover your face. Gabe pried your hands away and held your wrists with his left hand. His right hand came under your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“Was that so hard?”

You shook your head as much as he would allow. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking, his face totally void of emotion. He pulled you into an embrace.

“That’s papi to you.” Gabe rumbled.

Fuck.

You melted. If it wasn’t for your super soldier of a boyfriend holding you up, you would have crumpled. You felt him chuckle, vibrations echoing throughout his chest.

“Jack did tell me to find a way to make you relax. I think I just found it.”

You gulped. You were in for the long run now.

Top 10 Must Read Ichihime Fanfics

Multi-chapter edition! These are in particular the fanfics I believe are a must, perhaps even a requirement, for any true Ichihime fan to read! Fics are mostly rated T - M, with varying language and violence, as well as sexual content.

All fanfics are complete, apart from one.

Fanfictions listed here are found on FF.net, and are in no particular order.


La Belle et la Bete by Enelya87 - 19th century France. An AU Ichihime story based on Beauty and the Beast. “He lifted his hand and dragged a single claw down her cheek and throat, careful not to break the delicate skin.” Language and Lemons.
This is one of the first Ichihime fanfics I ever found, and I remember staying up a full day for the first time in my life when I first read this. Written back in 2009, with 15 chapters and a total of 131,138 words, its a very capturing read!

Office Romance by Enelya87 - They are separated until Isshin pulls a fast one on Ichigo and brings the two together again. Except for one, slight obstacle.
Because we all need a sexy little fic involving Ichigo trying to keep his cool with Orihime strutting around in a pencil skirt. Jealousy, lace panties, and a not-so-tough “rival” for Orihime’s heart. Written in 2009, 5 chapters, 20,061 words.

Yakusoku Shitara byle.etoile - [If You Promise] Protect me if you want. Stay by my side if you wish. My only request is that you don’t cry for me when I’m gone. Instead, smile in memory of me. IchiHime Royal Realm fanfic.
 I have read this so many times in the past year alone, but never get tired of it. It flips between Orihime and Ichigo’s P.o.v. and is based around the idea “what if Orihime was the key”. le.etoile and Ichihime? Duh! Written in 2009, with 11 chapters and 51,212 words, you can almost taste their yearning for each other.

hardboiled strawberries, smiling halcyon by alice hattercandy“Twice, you almost lost her. Her brother. Aizen. Who do you need next to finally gather your balls— if you have any— and tell what you need to say to her? Don’t wait for the third time. Because bad things come in three.” Days later, it happened.
Do you wanna cry? This is one of those fics you will read over and over, forgetting the ending not because it is forgettable - it is the most memorable - but because it will pull you in just as hard as when you first read it. (Or, it might be because of the tearful trauma.) Alice Hattercandy pretty much wrote the book for Ichihime fanfiction in my opinion. Written in 2009, 24 chapters, 104,971 words.

that beautiful girl, she’s a beautiful girl by alice hattercandy- CRACK. But because he was Ichigo and she was Orihime, nothing seemed to get right in their love story.
I think about this fic literally every day(I whisper the title under my breath way too much) The angsty Ichigo is my favorite Ichigo aside from the protective one, and boy does Alice capture them both! Its cute, and Ichigo is clueless even when he knows. Written in 2010, 3 chapters, 6,472 words.

Long Way Down - by le.etoile- Two entirely different people somehow intertwined by similar pasts. With one boy disabled and the girl with a secret, how will these two not-so-strangers learn to trust and fight against an unknown force together?
An AU, where in Ichigo is disabled and is still more hot/sweet than my delicate heart can handle. I have never found another fic like it. Orihime is so sweet I could cry! Drama? Check! Written in 2010, 17 chapters, 52,375 words.

Tainting the Roses Red by Child of the Ashes - Ichigo knew he could be thick headed. He almost always learned things the hard way, but about this, he couldn’t be making mistakes. His hollow was playing a dangerous game, one that somehow involved Inoue.
You might scream. Why is entirely up to you. In which Hichigo starts to surface more frequently as his relationship grows stronger with Orihime, and new faces stir up trouble. Written in 2010, 25 chapters, 107,347 words.

The Pain of Remembrance by halfdemonfan- It was amazing how one memory could change a person’s perspective. Canon to volume 404.
(Or, episode 300) Featuring a somewhat different end to the Aizen fight. We get to see the soft progression of our favorite couples relationship with a twist of Ichigo angst. Written in 2011, 28 chapters, 154,461 words.

The Most Dangerous Things by Child of the Ashes - In which Orihime runs and Ichigo chases.
My smutty love! Child of the Ashes is another notable writer for the Ichihime community. In this, we experience a sex savvy Ichigo frustrated with the sex curious Orihime. Written in 2011, 9 chapters, 31,128 words.

Bakery Department 12 by CoffeeBooks - ABCookies meets it’s end and Orihime finds herself a new position. It’s still a bakery but different from what she’s used to. Will she be able to handle working with the new employee?
Its cute, its light, and Ichigo is only subtle enough for Orihime to not get. Go figure right? Pining Ichigo is the best. Written in 2012, 12 chapters, 22,245 words.

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Hidden Screams - Star Slightly To The Right - “Kurosaki-san, right? I know you do not know me, but I was wondering if you could help me with something.”
AU. I mentioned this wasn’t in any order, but I suppose I lied. Because this is incomplete, it will be the 11th in this top 10.
This is my all time favorite fic, even if incomplete. Ichigo is so just… bad ass, and that sort of sexy-rough my heart cannot handle it maturely. And Orihime, precious Princess she is, good lord! There are a thousand things I could say for this story, but I’d have to make a separate post for it entirely. You MUST read this one! Written in 2012, currently 20 chapters, 101,428 words, last updated November 10th 2016.

It’s Hot in Here

Pairing: Reader x Taehyung

Genre: Fluff

Words: 1k+

Originally posted by helendrv

“Y/N, you look so good in my clothes,” Taehyung whispers, his eyes twinkling as he admires you in his favorite hoodie, one that’s two sizes bigger than you are - though you wore it because of how snug it felt on you and how comfortable it was to breath in his scent that lingers on the material of his hoodie. You feel your face heat up, probably turning a dark shade of red and you turn your face away to hide it. 

“Babe, I saw that.” He gets up from the sofa, quickly making his way to you before placing his large hands firmly on your waist, pulling you close to him.

“Hey, it’s hot in here, okay?” you protested, knowing how much Taehyung loved being the reason behind your pink cheeks. The little shit. “Mmm,” he hums, leaning his head down into your neck to give it a small peck, his hot breath fanning against your skin which sends tingles all over your body. “Is it because I’m here, baby?” You can tell that he’s got a wide grin stretched across his face despite being unable to see it.

You push him away abruptly, earning a surprised expression from him as you walk over to the sofa and plop down onto it, picking up the remote to skim through TV channels to find a movie to watch. Taehyung sits down next to you, picking up the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table and starts throwing popcorn into his mouth.

“Hey, don’t finish the popcorn! I want some too,” you say after noticing that he’s finished almost half of the bowl and you scoot over to him, reaching out for the bowl. He immediately yanks it out of your reach, a playful grin spread across his face and you instantly know that getting the popcorn won’t be an easy feat. “How about you come a little closer, Y/N?”

You roll your eyes at him, though a devilish idea begins to form in your mind so you decide to play along with him.

“You want me to come closer? Okay, I’ll come closer.” You crawl over to him and throw yourself onto his lap, earning a muffled “Oomph!” from him. You straddle his waist, his eyes growing wide in surprise at your sudden action, definitely not expecting you to give in to him so easily. You snatch the bowl out of his hands as the corners of your mouth crinkle up in a triumphant smirk. Just when you’re about to eat some popcorn, he gives you a peck on the lips.

“I was trying to eat, Taehyung,” you mutter, looking down at him with a fake annoyed expression on your face. His playful demeanor has disappeared, instead you notice that his pupils are dilated as he gazes into your eyes, thinking about how beautiful you look on top of him. He reaches a hand out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before caressing your cheek softly, and you find yourself leaning into his warm hand.

“How can I let you eat when you look like this?” His voice is deep and low, indicating that he was already worked up just by seeing you in his clothes, the thought itself already stirring something inside of you as you feel your heart rate begin to accelerate in your chest.

He brings your head down onto his, capturing your lips instantly. His soft lips move slowly against yours, taking his sweet time to enjoy the feel of your lips on his as you thread your fingers into his soft golden locks, a small moan reverberating out of him. The tip of his tongue grazes your bottom lip lightly, as though he were asking for entrance and you don’t even have to think twice before you happily open your mouth for his tongue to meet yours. Both of your smooth muscles move around together as if they were in a passionate dance, exploring and tasting each other. You feel his hands slowly trail down your arms to your waist, goosebumps sprouting all over your skin as he begins to knead into your waist, causing you to moan softly into his mouth.

The kiss lasts for a few more minutes, the both of you completely immersed in each other before he pulls away reluctantly and you almost whine at the absence of his lips. You place a chaste kiss on his neck before licking it and feel him shiver underneath you, making you smirk at his reaction.

“Maybe I shouldn’t wear your clothes anymore, Tae,” you mumble into his ear, hearing a low chuckle come from underneath you.

He places his hands on both sides of your face, pushing it back slightly to look you in your eyes.

“Babe, you should wear my clothes all the time,” he purrs. You giggle at that, a wide boxy grin beginning to form on his face which you have always loved, in fact it was what made you fall for Taehyung when you had first met him. 

You lean down into him, mischievously nipping at his bottom lip gently and quickly pulling away before he can pull you in for another kiss, not missing the hint of annoyance on his face.

“Are we still watching a movie tonight?” you ask him innocently as you press your chest firmly against his, your hands slowly making their way up underneath his t-shirt as his breath hitches in his throat.

“Hmm. I don’t kn-,” he starts, but he doesn’t get to complete his sentence because you’re up instantly, scooting back to the other side of the sofa, a playful glint in your eyes. He blinks at you, still in a daze at you teasing him but quickly snaps out of it once he realizes your devious plan.

“Okay then, let’s watch something,” you say casually, trying your best to hide your laughter at his frustrated face, feeling his steely eyes lock onto yours.

He gets up immediately, snatches the remote out of your hand and switches the TV off before standing in front of you, only to pick you up and throw you over his shoulder. “Hey!” you protest, feigning shock though you’re actually silently praising yourself, “I finally found something to watch!”

He smacks your butt as he makes his way to the bedroom, “We’re finishing this, now,” He growls, his voice sending shivers all over your body as excitement builds up in you, happily anticipating what was about to come.

It is pretty hot in here.