i was so confused between her and julian

markala5  asked:

Garashir from the new prompt list ( <3 ): 6, 12, 14, 19, 20

Heyo~ So this comes a bit later than I would have liked but here they are! (I want to fill one of these types of requests a day if I can (why do I do this?? (I’m probably just procrastinating other stuff (but honestly, aren’t I always?)))

6 “Don’t you die on me”

“Don’t you die on me.” Garak whispered to Julian, though he feared he was only speaking to himself. He was no doctor, but he could see that the readings showed the young man’s pulse was shallow. He wanted to keep his hope alive, he wanted to believe Julian would miraculously pull through, but when had anything like that ever happened for Garak? No, Garak knew that it was most likely that Julian would die and, by their nature, what is most likely to happen almost always comes to pass.

And why should it matter to Garak? Yes, Dr. Bashir was a wonderful conversationalist and didn’t treat him like a pariah, but would the loss of once a week lunches truly make Garak feel more lonely than he already did? Yes, the whole ordeal with the wire had been significant to say the least, but Julian implied it was simply his duty as a doctor to move proverbial mountains for Garak. But that was just it, wasn’t it? Julian Bashir wasn’t just another doctor who happened to have a happy talent for debate. He was Garak’s friend. Someone who actually cared about Garak and someone who Garak actually cared for. It had been so long since Garak had had that in his life, he almost hadn’t been able to recognize it. How like Garak to let that affection, that surely could only ever be platonic, turn to love.

When Julian had first entered into his coma, Garak had focused all of his attention on the Lethean that had done this to the one beautiful thing in Garak’s life. Altovar was a bumbling fool who had been caught easily but that only made Garak more disappointed in himself. He should have been able to protect Julian from such a pathetic threat, and yet he had missed it. Why hadn’t he followed Altovar after he’d appeared to interrupt their lunch? Was Garak so distracted by trying to give Julian a better birthday gift that he missed a man who projected himself as a threat? His inability to stop harm coming to the love of his life was disgraceful.

And that was it, wasn’t it? Garak finally realized he was in love with Julian only for it to be too late. His love distracted him, causing him to lose any chance he had and now he would recognize that only in time to suffer. Garak laughed at himself as he exited the infirmary, he had to get out before someone walked in and saw him. Poor, pathetic, Elim. What would he do if Julian somehow were to wake up? Confess his feelings and look like an utter fool? No, that would not do. Garak would do what he’d always done: lie. He would lie about his feelings and act as if nothing had changed.

12 “I just want you to be happy”

“I just want you to be happy.” Julian smiled that damned smile of his that was simply too kind. “I don’t really know what kind of person you would be interested in or anything, but I know you’re the type to deny yourself any potential joy.” He had a warm smirk. “I’m just saying that if you are interested in Ziyal, you should stop finding reasons to not be with her.”

“I thank you for your concern.” The irony of Julian being the one to give him this lecture was not lost on Garak. He had spent the past few years finding reasons to not pursue Julian, not only because Garak felt happiness wasn’t for him, but because he was certain his feelings could never be requited. “But really, doctor, I’m old enough to be her father.”

“Again, I’m not pushing you toward Ziyal.” Julian shrugged. “I just worry about you.” Julian looked down at his food and made a face, he wasn’t eating with his usual gusto. “It wasn’t right of me to tell you not to talk to her before.”

“You were hardly in the wrong.” Garak chuckled. “She is Gul Dukat’s daughter and Major Kira’s ward. It’s not as if a friendship between us was likely.”

“But it was still selfish of me.” Julian sighed and bit his lip.

“Selfish, my dear?” Garak asked in confusion. “I hadn’t realized you were interested in Ziyal. You could have simply said so, you know.”

“What?” Julian looked up in surprise. “No, Garak, I’m not interested in Ziyal!” He shook his head as if he couldn’t even fathom the image. “I mean, she’s a lovely young woman, of course, just not my type.”

“Mm, a tad too gray for you, doctor?” Garak smirked. Of course a Starfleet officer wouldn’t find Cardassians attractive. Garak supposed he couldn’t really blame Julian for that, but he couldn’t help but find it a bit unfair seeing how Cardassians were naturally more xenophobic than Humans and yet he was enamored with Julian.

“I’m…” Julian furrowed his brow as if he was incredibly flummoxed. “Garak, you think I don’t find Cardassians attractive?”

“Don’t pretend it’s Ziyal’s Bajoran half that you’re opposed to.” Garak challenged. Perhaps Julian wasn’t even aware of his own prejudice, the Federation prided itself on acceptance after all. “I’ve seen you flirt with enough Dabo girls to know that’s hardly the case.”

“I wouldn’t have looked twice at her if she were an Orion!” Julian protested in frustration. “I was already in love with someone else by the time I met her!” There was a moment of silence as Julian realized what he’d said. He blushed and began picking at his food again.

“This is a surprise, doctor.” Garak blinked. Who could have stolen the doctor’s heart away so completely without Garak even noticing? He racked his brain for answers. “If you’re not interested in Ziyal…” He thought. “Then how was your keeping her and I apart selfish?”

“Did I say ‘selfish’?” Julian gulped awkwardly. “Maybe that wasn’t the right word.” He gave a nervous smile.

“And what would be the right word?” Julian said nothing and simply blushed again. “If Ziyal and I were to become romantically involved, how would that take something away from you?”

“No, no, no!” Julian shook his head fervently. “Garak, really, nothing would be taken away from me, pursue whoever you like.”

“Whoever I like?” Garak tried to process his thoughts. He couldn’t be right, could he? “Doctor, are you saying your selfish desire would be to keep me available?” Julian looked to his side as if something fascinating had caught his attention. “That would imply that you yourself are romantically interested in me.” Julian looked incredibly uncomfortable and turned a deeper shade of red. “Are you?”

“I just want you to be happy.” Julian murmured, still looking away.

“And you worried that wanting to keep me for yourself was preventing my happiness.” Garak breathed. All the pieces fit together, but it was as if the puzzle itself were incomprehensible. Julian had feelings for Garak!? “My dear, that is far from true.” Julian looked back at Garak in surprise. “Nothing would make me happier than to be kept for you.” Julian’s eyes grew wide and he bit his lip before he timidly put his hand on Garak’s. The two looked at their hands for a moment before they looked back at one another with broad smiles.

14 “Please… stay…”

“Please… stay…” Garak said softly. He’d hoped Julian wouldn’t have heard it, that it would have been missed. Maybe Garak could convince himself he hadn’t said it, that he wasn’t so weak. No such luck.

“On Cardassia?” Julian asked confused. “Garak, the war isn’t officially over yet.” He furrowed his brow and sighed. “Look, Cardassia still has a decent amount of doctors, I’m sure. When the Dominion’s surrender is announced…” He shook his head. “I don’t know exactly what to expect, but when I can, I’ll come back, alright? I’ll help you in any way I can.” Garak felt his heart break as Julian was again offering him favor after favor and kindness after kindness. “If you still want me by then.”

“I would never turn you away, doctor.” Garak reassured. “Not even if you had nothing to contribute and were only a burden to bare.”

“If you don’t want me as a doctor…” Julian paused before he looked at Garak in realization. “Oh, Garak…” Garak averted his eyes. “Elim…” Julian whispered as he put his hand on Garak’s cheek. “There is nowhere I’d rather be than by your side.” Garak found himself being kissed and he practically melted into the man he’d longed for all these years. When the kiss broke, his eyes were still closed as he heard Julian speak softly again. “But I have to go back to DS9.”

“Doctor, please.” Garak said with pain in his voice. “I’m begging you. The Breen may not give up the fight, not to mention the Romulans are assuredly planning their next move once they’re free from their treaties.” Garak shook his head. “Do you really think the Klingons are going to end their warring without the Dominion? All of these threats are going to be pointed directly at the Federation.”

“You’re looking for trouble now.” Julian smirked. “We’re about to have peace, Elim.”

“You can’t be sure.” Garak said. “On Cardassia, you’ll be at least slightly out of harm’s way.”

“And I’ll happily stay on Cardassia with you.” Julian smiled. “But I can’t just leave without warning. I have things to pack and arrangements to make. But I will come back, Elim.”

“How long?” Garak asked. He didn’t want Julian to leave his sight. It was as if the final battle being fought only made him more aware of how easily he could have lost Julian.

“As quickly as I can.” Julian promised. He gently stroked Garak’s cheek and gave a small smile. “Come with me.”

“I’ve waited to come home all this time and now you’re asking me to leave?” Garak gave an amused scoff.

“Only for a few days.” Julian said. “Even if there’s nothing you left on the station you want, you can stock up on supplies while I put everything together. Cardassia is going to need food, water, blankets, all sorts of things that we’ll be able to get while I pack.”

“That sounds…” Garak thought for a moment. “Reasonable.”

“I can be like that sometimes.” Julian grinned. “And besides, I want to take you to Vic’s at least once.”

“The Dominion has just surrendered, we’ve confessed our feelings, and you’re thinking about a holosuite program?” Garak laughed.

“Oh, come on!” Julian said, shaking his head. “Vic heard me moping over you at least once a week, it’s only fair he gets to see it wasn’t all for nothing.”

“You spoke to a hologram about me?” Julian blushed. “In that case, I’d be very intrigued to hear what you said.”

“Come to Vic’s with me and I’m sure he’ll tell you.” Julian said, rolling his eyes.

“It’s a date.” Garak smiled into another kiss.

19 “I’m scared”

“I’m scared,” Julian said as he stared at the ceiling, resting his head on Garak’s chest. “I’m scared that this will all turn out to be a lovely dream.” He turned to look at Garak, to make sure those same blue eyes were still in bed with him. To see that this was somehow all real.

“I’m scared it will turn out to be a nightmare.” Garak smirked. “One that ends with you pulling out a phaser and killing me.”

“Oh, please,” Julian scoffed. “If I wanted to kill you, I would make it look like you died of an illness of some sort.”

“So you’ve thought about it?” Garak said, raising an eye ridge.

“I’m merely pointing out that sleeping with you would hardly be part of a murder plot.” Julian smiled.

“I never said you actually would kill me.” Garak said, shaking his head. “The real Julian Bashir is the kindest man to have ever lived.”

“The ‘real’ Julian?” Julian laughed.

“Well, if this is a nightmare, you are actually a figment of my own imagination.” Garak brushed Julian’s hair back. “In which case, it’s highly likely you’re going to execute me very soon.”

“And what if this were a dream?” Julian smiled as he moved to straddle Garak. “Then what would I do?”

“My mind doesn’t do dreams.” Garak shook his head. “It’s so used to the waking nightmare of exile, it can’t imagine pleasantries.” Julian rolled his eyes.

“Are you always this depressing after sex?” He asked. “Because I personally enjoyed myself.”

“I’m sorry, my dear.” Garak smiled. “I’m still having trouble believing any of that happened.”

“We can reinforce the concept.” Julian purred as he lightly feathered Garak’s neck ridges with his fingers. “Repetition is key.”

“I fear you’ll make a positive person out of me.” Garak shivered. “And then where will we be?”

“Hopefully still in bed.” Julian licked his lips. “I’m going to make you see the universe as a wonderful place with nothing but sunshine and rainbows.”

“I’m a Cardassian, remember?” Garak said, shaking his head. “I don’t like sunshine. Too bright.”

“How about rainbows?”

“I suppose they’re lovely.” Garak considered. “I prefer the stars in the night sky, myself.”

“In that case…” Julian leaned in and whispered right in Garak’s ear. “I’m going to have you seeing stars.”

20 “I’ll protect you no matter what… even if it kills me”

“I’ll protect you no matter what… even if it kills me.” Garak turned to look at who had just said that. Of course he knew, there was only one person who would quote a traditional Kardasi proposal to him, but was Julian even aware that was what he was doing? “You will be my family and I will be bound to you forever.” There Julian was on one knee, holding a Cardassian courtship bracelet. However, unlike the one Garak had given Julian to begin their relationship, this one was made of latinum. It was an engagement gift.

“Julian…” Garak breathed. Because really, what else could he say?

“Forever is my pledge to you and I shall endeavor to prove each day that that will be time you will not regret.” The one who proposed could not terminate the relationship. Cardassians could divorce, but only the person who was proposed to could end the union. The only exception being a spouse who denounced their significant other in court as an enemy of the state. Garak had assumed he would be the one to force himself into that commitment if Julian chose to stay with him long enough, he wasn’t prepared to have Julian willing to bet everything on them being together. “I am yours, if you’ll have me.”

“Of course I’ll have you!” As if that were even a question! Garak essentially pulled Julian up to his feet and kissed him. When the kiss broke, Julian started laughing.

“I was so terrified!” Julian said in relief. “I just…” He shook his head with a smile. “I’m sorry, I need a minute.” He laughed again and brought his hand to Garak’s cheek. “I did do it right, right? You just agreed to marry me?”

“And I would do so a thousand times over.” Garak nodded. “But you realize that by being the one to propose, you can’t end our union, correct?”

“I know, Elim.” Julian smirked. “I have no interest in ending our relationship ever. I want nothing more than to be your husband.”

“I should probably put that on.” Garak said, glancing at the bracelet that was awkwardly between them in Julian’s hand. Julian hurriedly took Garak’s wrist and and clasped the bracelet around it. “Where did you get the money to afford this?”

“Don’t laugh.” Julian said. Garak simply raised an eye ridge. “Rom.” Garak tried his best not to let his amusement show too greatly. “He is Grand Nagus now. Plus, I think he likes the idea of me being married. I believe he’s still convinced Leeta will leave him.”

“I know how he feels.” Garak smiled. “When your lover is so incredibly exquisite, it only makes sense to imagine they’ll tire of you eventually.”

“Not a chance.” Julian grinned. “Forever is my pledge to you.”

You And Me Both, My Dear

Summary: Julian finds Asra’s apprentice [Zenobia] in the Rowdy Raven, drunk and a little too happy to see him. But as the air cools down and the facade fades away, the real reason for the strange behaviour comes out. ( Zenobia has feelings for both Julian and Asra, and Julian has feelings for both Asra and Zenobia. Asra is not available to comment. )

“Doctor Jules,” the bartender says quietly, leaning in as he slides the drink across the bar. “It’s not usually my place to say something, but– the pretty woman with the bright hair who’s been with you recently. She’s been drinking a lot tonight.”

Julian frowns, confused. Zenobia has indeed been here frequently in the last weeks, but usually sipped one drink through the night, clearly here for the company.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

It occurred to me while watching the most recent episode that they might try to have a Caitlin and Julian romance. I'm worried for Snowbarry now.

Mostly I’m confused this season, I don’t get what they’re trying to do. I want Caitlin to be single, I want to see her struggle with the powers, I mean they’ve done such a good job with her storyline in the first part of the season, I really do love almost every episode (especially 3x05 & 3x07). But now I don’t understand If they’re trying to hint a possible romantic relationship between Cait & Julian, or *spoiler allert* if they’re bringing back Ronnie? 🤔 I don’t know… Barry & Caitlin were so perfect for each other, and of course I will always ship them, but… I’m slowly losing hope…