i was so alone i owe you so much

Y'all, I just wanna take a second to talk about someone awesome. 💕

So everyone in the TJLC community probably knows Steph over at @inevitably-johnlocked. But I always wonder if some people know how heckin rad she really is.

I am thankful for, grateful for, in awe of, and constantly inspired by Steph. She has more dedication than almost anyone else I’ve seen in TJLC. Her metas are exhaustively researched, meticulously tagged and linked, and best of all, she gives credit where credit is due to the many other amazing meta writers, showing that our understanding is a collective effort.

She’s also hella kind and friendly and helpful. When I joined TJLC, I was looking at many people that were the complete opposite, making the community seem like a very unwelcoming and harsh place for newcomers. I remember messaging Steph with silly ideas for a Johnlock video when I still barely knew my way around and barely knew anyone, and being so intimidated, which she instantly shot down by being hilarious and sweet and insanely helpful.

I owe her a ton of credit for my place in the community and for the kindness she welcomed me into the community with. (lmao Steph I was so alone and I owe you so much) Thanks in large part to her good natured responses, which I see her extend to everyone who has a question or needs help, I reached out to more TJLCers, felt confident in putting content into the community and participating in discussions, and made tons of amazing friends. I love all of them, and am so grateful for our shared journey, but Steph is exceptionally badass.

I have never once seen Steph respond negatively to someone who didn’t thoroughly deserve it, and even then, it’s done with way more class than even I can extend to antis and trolls. She goes out of her way to not only write excellent meta, but truly help people understand it and find it. She hosts community watchalongs, shares content from tons of people who wouldn’t have exposure otherwise, has badass fic rec lists, is humble and learns from mistakes, answers more asks than anyone I know, and is funny and dedicated and legit.

I get to meet her in a few weeks at 221bcon (and other awesome people, ahhhh basically it’s gonna be an amazing time) and needless to say, I’m hella excited.

All of this is not to discredit the many wonderful people in TJLC who contribute, interact, and are helpful or kind or awesome. But Steph is just fantastic all on her own. She’s the one who helped me along the most in TJLC, and I know that I and most/all of my close lovely friends on here think she’s just the greatest. 💕

Originally posted by rominatrix

Elsewhere University

Because @charminglyantiquated is the coolest person ever, there is now a super-awesome fandom for her comic, Elsewhere University, and because she is even cooler and lets us write stuff for it, I thought I’d take her up on her offer. 

You press the iron necklace into your skin, and you bite your lip until you taste blood, and you walk into the doorway that you’ve never seen before and pray for a miracle. 

You don’t really think that it will work, but you do it anyway. 

They took her about a week ago, while she was walking home from sleeping over-with you. You stupid, idiotic moron. You should have said, “it’s too early.” You should have said, “skip your 8 AM, it doesn’t matter, you’ll pass anyway.” You should have said, “you have a salt packet, right?” But you didn’t. When she didn’t text you all day, when you called her 2, then 5, then 20 times, when you ran home praying that she was lying in bed watching Netflix or working on her english project, when you burst in through the door and the room was dark and cold and empty, then you knew. And you cried and cried all night, begging whatever was listening that they wouldn’t hurt her, toy with her, change her. Praying that they’d give her back. People come back, they do it all the time. Maybe it wasn’t…permanent. You try not to think of how many English majors have vanished this year alone. 

And as the days passed, and there was no sign of her, or even something that looked like her, you slowly come to accept what you must do. 

You went to Shell (has three turtles, that’s how he chose the name) and you buy an iron necklace, for you do not have one of your own. 

“Dude-” Shell starts as you drop the Twizzlers on the table (he picked up the habit of trade over there. he was there for a while. not all of the reptiles in his cage may be turtles.) “-don’t do this.”

“Just give me the necklace.” You don’t want time to doubt this, to second guess, to think of your dad and your aunt patty and your cousin blake who you really wanted to see grow up-

“Look, I’m as sorry about Ash as you are, but…this…what you’re planning?…it won’t work, Willow. It just won’t.” 

They had both chosen tree names, to be called by. They’d met as a mixer, and she’d used it as a dumb conversation starter. She had been so beautiful that night, her skin absorbing the light and glowing with a brown radiance that reminded her of the sun. 

“Just give me. The necklace.” she spat, hands clenched and tears dripping off her eyelashes. 

He sighed, but reached under the counter and dropped it on the pockmarked wooden surface (screwed in with iron screws. he took no chances, not anymore.) he stared at her, eyes hard but burning with regret.

“I know them, Willow. I wasn’t there for…” he drifted off, his eyes fuzzing a bit. time is different there. he was gone for about a month when one of the RA’s finally did something-he was a TA, and he was the resident “merchant” on campus, and he was needed. he said it was longer over there. that was all he ever said, except for the midnight sleep-screaming, and occasional chanting. he shook his head and resumed. 

“…but I know them, ok? you won’t get her back, not if they want her, and definitely not if you demand her. and if you do manage to get her? there’s a price. there’s always a price. and it’s always too high to pay. always.”

she grasps the iron necklace, shaped like a circle, like eternity, in her clammy palm, and says, “she is beyond price.” 

You went to one of the “thin places” (think liminal/the copse of trees next to the sorority that has some girls with skin that is far too pale and eyes that are much too bright ) and you stand there, and say, “i am coming to reclaim what is mine.”

silence, but one that is filled with words.

“she is mine, and i am hers, and i intend to have her back.”

a thin wind rises, and it like the hissing laugh of cruel ancient things. 

you straighten your shoulders, and you resist the urge to grasp the iron circle, and you say “let us begin.” (bring it seemed too high school, and there is a way of going about these things that even she must follow)

and then the door was clear and defined in the trees, and you taste your blood and your fear and you enter. 

she is so beautiful here, but in a way that screams wrong. her thick black hair, her glowing brown eyes, her deep brown skin, it is ethereal here in the wrong way, not the ethereal it is supposed to be, has always been to her. and her eyes are vacant and empty, not full of wit and love and grace. she is wrong, and you intend to fix her. if you can. 

the thing on the throne, the roots twisted like muscle, stares at you from the other side of eternity, and finds you wanting. 

“she is ours.” the thing said, its voice like wind through the leaves, or a knife up a spine. “you have no right to claim her.” 

“i love her. i have every right.” the thing laughs, and that is the worst kind of sound you have ever heard. it is a laugh that has nothing in it to make it a laugh. 

“love means nothing. you say you are each other’s? this means nothing.” it leans forward, on its root throne, and for a moment you step back. “no one you love is special. death will come for you all. that is all that matters, for you. it is all that will every matter.” it leans back, and smiles with too many teeth. “we give her trinkets, and long life, and the pleasure of being chosen. what can you offer, but death?”

you want to have some speech prepared, some grand statement of freedom and love and the power of humanity, but the words are like dead leaves in your mouth. they will mean nothing to it. they barely mean anything to you. 

“i want her back. you do not need a reason to take. i do not need a reason to take back.”

at this, the thing actually nods. “very well. what do you offer? what will i gain, for losing a treasure?” 

she knows she is a dead woman, perhaps not literally, but in all the ways that matter. so long as Ash is safe, alive and well and writing stupid papers until 2 in the morning, she will be content. 

“take what you want.”

it grins so wide she thinks its face will split. 

a life for a life.

you hate yourself. but the thought of ash, asleep in bed at home and safe and with eyes that are hers and are filled with life, you can get through it. 

he comes, as you knew her would. the phone call, panicked, “i’ve got her! i’ve got her! but i think she’s drugged or something you just know so much about this, can you help please please please?” he runs down the path, approaching the copse of trees you stand next to, in the dark, so dark he can’t see you’re alone. 

“hey! I’m here!” Shell gasps, skittering to a halt with a pack bouncing off his leg. “i’ve got some stuff i think might help, where is she?”

you look him in the eye (you owe him that at least) and you say, “I’m sorry.” you say “it was the only way.” 

he doesn’t scream, as you half-expected him to. he’s too smart for that. he turns and run, sprints, gallops away, flinging ramen packets as he goes. its not enough.

the trees grow close, and he suddenly falls into them, like a cartoon character. his eyes catch yours before he vanishes into the blackness between the boughs. there is not even room for hatred in all the brokenness.

he is gone, and then wind is cold and filled with the laughter of cruel things.

a life for a life.

the price is always too high, because they take something and the taking rips the life from you.

disclaimer: i am very white so pleasepleaseplease tell me if my writing of a black character was racist or demeaning in any way! i just wanna help and make more positive representation, but PLEASE tell me if I’m being racist or stepping over a line! thanks! 

Deaf!Sherlock AU

John Watson has just returned from the war. He passes Mike Stamford, an old friend, in the park. They talk. Mike says he knows someone who John could rent a flat with. John goes with Mike to meet this potential flatmate at St. Bart’s Hospital.

When they walk into a lab, a man is looking through a microscope.

“Mike, can I borrow your phone?” the man signs. John only sees random hand gestures.

Mike signs back and says, “Sorry, it’s in my other coat.”

John looks at Mike with a confused look.

“He asked to borrow my phone,” Mike explains.

“Here. Use mine,” John says. He hands his phone over to the man who quickly types something before handing the phone back to John.

The man stands up and signs something to John.

“Afghanistan or Iraq?” Mike interprets.

“Afghanistan,” John says. He turns to Mike, “Can he understand me?”

“He’s deaf, but he can read lips,” Mike says.

The man signs again, and Mike interprets, “Are you still interested in looking at a flat? I know of one in central London. Together we can afford it.”

“How did you know I’m looking for a flat?” John asks.

“I was telling Mike this morning about how difficult it is to find a flatmate. Now, here you are, a man recently back from Afghanistan. It wasn’t a difficult leap.”

“But how did you know about Afghanistan?” John asks.

By that point, the man has turned to get his coat and doesn’t see John’s question.

“Sorry, I’m late for an experiment. I’ll text you the address. We can meet tomorrow morning at seven,” the man signs. Mike interprets.

“Wait. I don’t even know your name. And how do you know my phone number?” John asks.

“He says that he memorized your number when he borrowed your phone,” Mike explains.

“My name is Sherlock Holmes, and the address is 221b Baker Street,” Sherlock signs.

That night, John stays up late to learn as much sign language as he can.

1 Month Later

Sherlock is in the middle of composing a song on his violin.

“How did you learn to play?” John asks.

“I learned before I was deaf when I was six years old. I became deaf when I was nine. An experiment went wrong. I still like to play. It helps me think when I can feel the friction of the rosin on the bow,” Sherlock signs.

John has learned enough sign language to understand Sherlock if he signs slowly.

“It sounds beautiful,” John says.

“Thank you,” says Sherlock.

6 months later

John stands by the pool with a bomb strapped to his chest. He is told exactly what he has to sign to Sherlock.

“Evening,” John says. “I bet you never saw this coming.”

Sherlock looks betrayed.

“What would you like me to make him say next?” John says.

Now, Sherlock realizes what is going on.

“Why don’t you show yourself?” Sherlock says. This is the first time John has heard Sherlock’s voice.

John hears the voice of a man in the the shadows. “Oh, alright.”

The man steps into the light. It’s Jim. Molly’s boyfriend.

“Jim Moriarty. Hi!” He speaks and signs at the same time. “I gave you my number. I thought you might call.”

He smiles at Sherlock wearing a face of pure evil.

“I’ve given you a glimpse, Sherlock, just a teensy glimpse of what I’ve got going on out there in the big bad world.”

A red light appears on John. One shot could blow up the building. Sherlock holds out the flash drive impatiently. Moriarty takes it, but quickly tosses it into the pool.

“Boring!” he signs. “Do you know what happens to you if you don’t leave me alone, Sherlock?”

“I get killed,” Sherlock signs.

“Kill you? No! Don’t be obvious. Not yet,” he says. “If you don’t stop prying, I will burn you. I will burn the heart out of you.”

After Moriarty has left, Sherlock asks John out loud, “Are you alright?”

John signs back, “I’m fine.”

2 years later

Moriarty is back. He has convinced the world that he is Richard Brook. He has convinced the world that Sherlock is a fake.

Sherlock and John are at St. Bart’s trying to figure out what to do.

Sherlock sends a text: Come and play. Bart’s Hospital rooftop.

John gets a call. When he hangs up he signs to Sherlock, “Mrs. Hudson has been shot.”

“You go. I’m busy.”

“Didn’t you hear me? Mrs. Hudson is in the hospital.”

“She’s my landlady.”

“She’s dying!” John yells and signs. “You machine!”

“Alone is what I have. Alone protects me.”

“No, friends protect people.”

Later - the Rooftop

Moriarty is dead, and Sherlock has no choice but to jump. John realizes where Sherlock must be. After he exits the cab, he gets a phone call.

“Hello?” John says.



“Turn around and walk back the way you came.”


“I can’t hear you, but you can hear me. I need you to listen.”

“Okay,” John says, even though it doesn’t matter.

“Stay exactly where you are, and look up. I’m on the rooftop.”

John looks up, and his heart begins to race in fear.

“This is my note. Everything they’ve said about me is true. I invented Moriarty. I’m a fake. The newspapers were right all along. I want you to tell Lestrade; I want you to tell Mrs Hudson, and Molly … in fact, tell anyone who will listen to you that I created Moriarty for my own purposes.”

“Stop,” John says.

“I researched you. Before we met I discovered everything that I could to impress you. It’s a trick. Just a magic trick.”

John starts to move towards the hospital. He can’t just stand and do nothing.

“No! Don’t move!” Sherlock’s voice is panicked.

John freezes. His legs won’t move. He feels helpless.

“Keep your eyes fixed on me. Please.”

All John can do is stare.

“Goodbye, John.”

“No! Don’t!” John yells. “Sherlock!”

He watches as his best friend falls to the pavement. Sherlock takes John’s heart with him to the grave.

Later - the Graveyard

“You told me once that you weren’t a hero. There were times I didn’t even think you were human, but let me tell you this: you were the best man, and the most human… human being that I’ve ever known and no one will ever convince me that you told me a lie.”

He takes a deep breath before signing, “I was so alone, and I owe you so much. 

He is about to turn and leave, but then says, "There’s just one more thing, mate, one more thing…”

Sherlock watches as John signs the words he could never say.

I love you.


Credit to Ariane DeVere for the transcripts that helped me write this.

I don’t personally know anyone who is deaf so correct me if there are any errors.

Alright. Long, pro-Spuffy post.

Here we go.

Things to know before we start: I am pro-Spuffy, anti-Bangel. That being said, I do not hate Angel. At all. Or Buffy, even though I get a little heated about her in the post below. I didn’t watch Angel or read the comics. I read the synopses of both and watched the Spike scenes of S5 of Angel (because I love Spike). I am not forgiving Spike for attempting to rape Buffy. So, when we get there, remember I said that. I’m probably gonna be really thorough because I’m really obsessed with this show right now as I just finished it a week ago. Finally, I don’t like comparing Spike and Angel. Whether it’s with a soul or without. However, it’s sort of necessary to explain why I love Spike for Buffy. So, that’s why I’m gonna say again: I don’t hate Angel. But I need to compare the two because, basically, that’s what Buffy has had to do to make her choice. Soooo let’s get into it.

Basically I’m gonna break this down into three-ish Spikes. I won’t, like, stick to it very well, but it’ll be a basic outline. So: Pre-Buffy love, Post-Buffy love, Post-Soul. I’m gonna talk about Human!Spike as well and by the seasons. But let’s start with the Angel/Spike comparison to get it out of the way.

So, many people have said this before but, Spike fell in love with Buffy before the soul. This is important. We’ll come back to that. But let’s get something straight: Angel and Angelus are the same person. Okay, if you lot don’t wanna separate Soulless!Spike and Ensouled!Spike and want to say things like “How can Buffy love him after he attempted to rape her?!”, then we’re not gonna separate Angel and Angelus. Know what that means? Oh, yeah, you do.

It means that Soulless!Angel was, by and large, worse than Soulless!Spike. And not just because of what we saw in present day Buffy. Because of the flashbacks as well. William was once, even without a soul, a sentimental sweetheart. Yes, he still drank people, bad Spike. But it wasn’t until he had been broken and beaten down that he became “William the Bloody.” I mean, look at Angelus and Drusilla. Poor William was crushed when he caught them together. We saw that in S2 of Buffy when Angel was soulless, as well. On the other hand, Angelus didn’t give any shits about anything he did, who he did it to, or what it meant. For Spike, it was power that drove him. For Angelus, it was evil. Angel even said so in Angel. So, back to the before the soul love we were talking about. Spike was capable of it, even sought it out. Angelus could have been capable of it, who knows, but he didn’t want it. He wanted ruin. And, I know we’re all tired of hearing it, but it’s an important point that Angel had 100 years to grow into the soul and where he ended up when we met him in 1997 was basically where Spike was after 1 year with a soul. So. 

Now, that doesn’t mean I wish Angel ill, at all. The whole “Angelus was cursed, him having a soul doesn’t count” argument doesn’t work except to backup what I just said: he didn’t want to be good, until he was forced to be. But he did become good. He tried and he felt the guilt and he atoned and at the end of the day, Angel is one hell of a guy. 

But he’s not the one for Buffy. Here’s why:

When Spike fell for Buffy, he did not do a 180 all of a sudden. Obviously. He was still bad (as much as he could be with the chip) and he was still a douche. The reason that many of us still loved Spike at this point is because that’s Spike. Spike is crass and brutal and a sarcastic little shit. We wouldn’t want it any other way. But he changed. For her and because of her. And that story is so, so powerful. Shall we take a tour?

So, in “School Hard,” Spike comes to Sunnydale. He’s young, free, and in love. He’s also out to bag a third slayer. Who could blame him? He is a vamp, that’s what they do right? Throughout S2 of Buffy we see Spike go through an arc, from a cocky, entitled vampire to a broken, embarrassed, and hurt one. 

Sidebar: I love how, at any given point during Buffy or Angel, you can just tell that Spike is the “baby” vampire between him and Angel. And I don’t mean that in a bad way, it’s just a really great relationship that they have, Angel treating him like an annoying brother and Spike lashing out at him while still feeling inferior.

Back on track. So, he teams up with Buffy. Our first glimpse at a mutually beneficial relationship for the two. Here we get a solidified notion of what Spike+Humanity would look like. The next time we see that is S3 of Buffy, “Lover’s Walk.” Such a great episode for Spike. It shows how much love can drive him crazy but also fill the empty space in him where his soul should be. And it establishes Spike as an extremely intelligent creature, not just the mindless animal we thought him to be before (I’m talking about the “you’ll never be friends” speech, here). 

S4. So Spike’s in Sunnydale looking for invincibility (lol, that lasted a long time, huh?). And then the chip happens. Oh, the chip. This is so important to his arc and, eventually, his and Buffy’s. So, as much as I would like to believe otherwise, Spike wouldn’t have reached for goodness or fallen for Buffy like he did without the chip. In my opinion, he still could’ve “fallen for her,” but it would’ve been much more of a “I want to get in your pants” deal than a “I want you to love me back” deal.

So, the chip neuters William the Bloody. And so he has to integrate himself into the Scoobies as much as he can, not only to get money, but also to kill…demons that is. Mini-sidebar: I love how Spike goes from “I guess I’ll have to kill demons instead” to “I know it’s wrong to kill people, so I’ll kill demons so I still get to kill” to “It’s wrong to kill, but demons are bad, so I will do it to protect the world.” Amazing.

I know, I know. This isn’t a Spike post! Get on with the Spuffy! Sorry, I just love him so much.

Here we are, S5. Spike realizes he loves Buffy. Here’s my take: S5 was Spike’s “unhealthy” phase (for the most part) and S6 was Buffy’s (until the attempted rape, obviously). S7 was peace, but we’ll get there. Okay, so Spike is obsessed with Buffy, right? Not in a cute way. In a I-steal-your-underwear-and-pictures-of-you-from-your-house-and-also-sometimes-also-stalk-outside-the-house-and-I-also-made-a-sex-robot-of-you way. I’d almost go so far as to say he reached actual stalker level what with the chaining her up in his crypt thing. But he didn’t, like, kill Riley or try to hurt her (and he wouldn’t of, either, regardless of the chip because he doesn’t hurt Buffy), so I’ll refrain from calling him a full blown stalker. 

Okay, so from here on in, I’m gonna say something frequently that a lot of you won’t like: I was pissed off at Buffy and Buffy’s treatment of Spike to the point that I can’t go back and watch the full Spuffy scenes that involve her being “revolted” or rejecting him because it just pisses me off so much. 

In S5, Spike’s love for Buffy was incredibly immature. You know when you get into your first relationship and everything is be all, end all? Like, everything they do makes you squee and you have to be around them all the time, but if you have a fight you just get so beyond pissed and sad that your life is falling apart? Yeah, that was Spike. Buffy obviously wasn’t his first, but I do firmly believe that he didn’t hold this type of love for anyone before. His love with Drusilla, for one, was mutual and they were on the same side. I think loving someone that was so opposite him really messed Spike up. He didn’t know how to love her. Not until the soul. 

Okay, Buffy dies. That part where Spike cries??? Jesus Christ, ow. I thought I was dying. S6 now. Spike watched out for Dawn. Just like he said he would. If you don’t think that’s intensely powerful, who are you? He easily could’ve said “Nah, I’m just gonna go back to being alone” and left all of that behind. He didn’t know she was going to come back. But he loved her so much that he erased everything he had been for 100+ years to do the one thing she’d ever asked of him. Not to impress her, but because he knew it was the right thing. Because she treated him like a man.

When. He. Saw. Her. Alive. Again. Oh. My. God. Broke my heart. He counted the days. He was so gentle with her. He let her talk about whatever she wanted, he let her use him, let her do anything and everything just so she’d feel better.

The first real kiss: “Once More, With Feeling.” Oh, yeah. We’re gonna talk about the musical. A lot. Rest in Peace is such a heart breaking song. Because, honestly, Spike is 100% right. He shouldn’t have to suffer because he can’t have Buffy. Confiding in him is one thing, but what Buffy started to do was take advantage of him. That line in the song “You know/you got a willing slave”, explains it perfectly. Walk Through the Fire is a brilliant song, for one. But it also shows how much Spike wishes he could hate her, how he 100% knows that he’ll never do anything but love her, how he’ll follow her to the end of the world, and also how much he understands what it is that she’s going through, like no one else can. Something to Sing About, that little bit at the end that Spike sings to Buffy is so beautiful. All he wants is for her to live. And to want to live, to want to try. Where Do We Go from Here? is a group sing, yes, but for Spike and Buffy it’s sort of like a red herring combined with a really ironic ending (the kiss). It explains why Buffy hadn’t reached out to Spike before then, but also why it failed at the end of S6. It’s all about walking “alone in fear.” Buffy never allowed herself to be loved or to love.

That was too much on the musical, sorry. This is a long ass post. We rage on!

Important Sidebar: Spike never, even in S5-6, expressed his love for Buffy just to get in her pants. Never. He always wanted her to love him back. As fucked up and destructive as the two ended up being, the love Spike had for her was as genuine as it could’ve been at the time. Remember, he didn’t use her, she used him.

So, here’s the thing that pisses me off from this point forward: they kiss, Buffy brushes it off; they have sex, Buffy waves it away, and yet Buffy keeps coming back. Look, I don’t totally blame Buffy. Obviously. I mean, she got pulled out of heaven and then had to dig herself out of her grave. She has her own issues. I respect that. And she didn’t just take it out on Spike. She abused Giles and neglected Willow and whole bunch else. But the bottom line is: by the last third of S6, she knew what she was doing and she was totally clear headed about it. She knew what she was doing before, but she couldn’t stop herself. She needed it, so she could feel. But right around the time Riley showed up and she went to Spike’s and said “Tell me you love me, tell me you want me”, I knew she knew she was tearing into Spike and she didn’t give a damn. From there, the blame falls on Spike.

She breaks it off with him because she doesn’t want to keep using him (further backing up the fact that she knew what she was doing). And Spike loses it. 

Here’s the thing: Rape is not okay, never, ever, but that wasn’t Spike. And I’m not talking about “not Spike” in a soul/no soul way. Spike is Spike, before or after the soul. And besides, people rape other people all the time, and they’ve got souls in them, right? This has nothing to do with the soul. I believe the episode title for the attempted rape episode is “Seeing Red.” That’s what it was. It was Spike in the sense of his body, personality, memories, etc., but that was not Spike’s mind. As I said before, he lost his mind. That’s not an excuse, but you can clearly tell that Spike knew instantly that he’d done something terrible, unforgivable. He was broken and hurt and an empty shell of pain. And the fact that he left Sunnydale to get his soul back, not only for Buffy, but to be a better man testifies that the bathroom scene was simply not him. He wouldn’t of done it as a human, he wouldn’t of done is at William the Bloody, he wouldn’t of done it when he was with Dru, it was a blind, senseless act that he’ll regret until the day he’s dust. That’s not me forgiving him, that’s me saying that all of us do despicable things and if we never reformed or help others reform, we’d have one hell of a miserable world.

Okay, S7. Spike was being controlled/tortured by the First, yes, but I do think that his new soul had something to do with his crazed state. Not as much as the First did, but some. And I say that because, remember Angel? Remember how sad and dilapidated he was because he was wracked with guilt? That’s what happened with Spike. It was just amplified because of the First.

Buffy is wary of him, and that’s good. She should be. But I think she also recognizes immediately, at least on some level, that Spike has changed (more than the obvious I-live-in-the-school-basement thing). When Spike is lucid, she has every right to be nervous like she was in the first chunk of episodes. 

But by the end of S7, the fact that their relationship grows to the point of trust and love demonstrates just how much Spike changed and how good of a man he is.

So, I wanna talk more in depth about the pre-post soul thing. Here’s what I believe: part of the change Spike went through was due to the soul (the guilt he felt forced him to see everything in a different light than before, for example), but part of it was done on his own. Meaning, after the attempted rape, Spike would’ve taken steps to improve who he was anyway. The soul was one of those steps, and it helped him to “recover” fully, but he would’ve had some degree of growth regardless.

So, here we are, with my favorite version of Spike. I know some people don’t like “love’s bitch” Spike or “mushy-gushy” Spike, but I love it. Not because I’m gushy. Jesus, I’m so far from gushy. I love it because Spike went through a huge arc. We met him as William the Bloody, learned about Willy and his past, and what we’re left with at the end of the series is just purely Spike. He’s still sarcastic and a fighter, like William the Bloody, but his humanity and compassion shines through, like Willy. Spike is the perfect, final product of an epic journey of discovery. 

Sorry, back to Spuffy.

Buffy learns to trust Spike again. Because she recognizes that the “bad” things he did (in S7) weren’t his fault, because she recognizes that he’s changed. One of my favorite things to talk about with Spike in S7 is his total backseat attitude when it comes to Buffy. He doesn’t try to get back with her, he tries to be conscious of how/if he’s touching her, he doesn’t make sexual comments/suggestions, he doesn’t confess his love over and over or beg her to forgive him or feel sorry for him. He’s totally and completely letting her have the control. That’s the real reason she trusts him again. Because he’s pure. He doesn’t need to say he loves her over and over or convince her he’s changed because it shows. Even when he doesn’t intend it to, his light shines through and draws Buffy to him once again.

Finally, I want to talk about the last three episodes of the series. The Spuffy moments, that is. At the point of “Touched”, Buffy trusts Spike again. This is one of the few times in the season Spike voices his feelings without filter, and it isn’t for selfish reasons like it sometimes had been in the past. It was to give Buffy confidence and worth. Because he loves her enough to that for her. The speech he gave is one of the best things I’ve ever seen on TV. It’s totally selfless. And when she asks him to stay with her, he’s prepared to sleep in a chair to make her comfortable; but then she asks him to hold her and, no hesitation, he goes to her. The fundamental difference between this Spike and the Spike in S6 is this Spike thought of Buffy first. He heard that she needed him and he went to her. I’d wager that he didn’t want to let himself think “this is the best night of my life” because he didn’t want it to be about him, he wanted to focus on her, be there for her.

And that brings us to “End of Days.” God, the dialogue between the two of them in the last three episodes is just amazing, yeah? The talk they had in the kitchen was so beautiful. Same thing, Spike didn’t want to make that night about him but he admitted that it was the best night of his life, and Buffy glowed. This is the first time, in my opinion, that Buffy got that fuzzy feeling in her belly because of Spike. Before, anything close to “I love you” from Spike made Buffy react like “Please don’t say that, I don’t want this to be serious, that’s too much to think about.” This conversation is the first time Spike says something like “I love you” and Buffy thinks “Oh my God, this amazing man thinks watching me sleep and holding me was the best night of his life.” 

Okay, “Chosen.” I’m gonna cry. Pull it together! The basement scene. Buffy left Angel for Spike. She said she was “baking,” but, at least for the night, she was done baking and Spike got the cookies… Okay, ew. Sorry. Moving on. Spike being jealous of Angel in the way he was jealous of Angel was so sad and beautiful and sweet. It wan’t angry or even bitter. He wasn’t cursing Angel or thinking “great, he’s taking my woman again.” He was hoping, praying to anything and everything that he wouldn’t lose this girl. Not the one he really, truly loved. Not the one that brought out the better side of him, the one that he’d forgotten. Not Buffy. 

And Buffy calling Spike a champion, kill me. It’s too beautiful for my heart to handle. And did you see how Spike glowed? He just felt so special, sort of like that moment in the previous episode with Buffy, you know, the “Oh my God, this amazing man” thing? Yeah, that. That’s how Spike felt. Seen, cared for, important, warm, hers. 

Buffy caressing Spike’s face, and then Spike holding Buffy again just topped off the episode for me. Beautiful.

Okay. Now the hard part. 

“I love you.”

“No, you don’t. But thanks for sayin’ it.”

Spike!!! But she does love you!!! And you didn’t believe it!!! She loved you as soon as your hands clasped. As soon as she looked into your eyes and saw everything she had, what she stood to lose. As soon as she saw you looking back at her. God that scene will forever make me want to die while singing the songs of heaven. 

Buffy’s last word in the series being “Spike” is perfect. Fuck you if you don’t think so. Sorry, I’m not usually mean, but he deserved it. He’s a beautiful, lovely man. A good man.

I wish they’d had just one more season. Because the mature love they shared in that very last moment was just blooming and it deserved one more season. Alas. We get it in the comics, though. And we get some Spuffy dialogue from Spike in Angel. I just can never get enough of the two of them. They’re the most beautiful, heart breaking, transcendent love story I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching. And I’m a hardcore Destiel shipper. It’s hard to get me to pull away from that. That’s how amazing Spike and Buffy’s love story is. 

If you’ve made it this far, good for you. I just needed to say it, all my thoughts. I love them so much, they mean so much to me. Spuffy forever. Always. 

You… you told me once that you weren’t a hero. Umm, there were times I didn’t even think you were mouse, but let me tell you this: you were the best mouse, and the most mouse… mouse being that I’ve ever known, and no one will ever convince me that you told me a lie, and so… There. I was so alone, and I owe you so much. Please, there’s just one more thing, one more thing, one more miracle, Basil, for me. Don’t… be… dead. Would you, just for me, just stop it? Stop this.

I… I told you once… that I am not a hero. Obviously, I was right because otherwise you would still be here.
There were times when I didn’t think that I was a human, but it doesn’t matter. You were my moral compass. You were simply the best man I’ve ever known. You kept me right. You believed in me. No one will ever convince me that you were just an ordinary human.
I was so alone… and I owe you so much. But please, there’s just one more thing, one more thing, one more miracle, John. For me. Don’t. Be. Dead. Would you do that… just for me? I’m begging you… come back.

Twinkling Starlight

Scenario: You’re in the hospital for the holidays so I came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room
Pairing: Jungkook | Reader
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 3,684
Author’s Note: I’m sorry, I really couldn’t resist another Christmas story. Hope you like it :)


You don’t know if you should laugh or cry or do a very strange combination of both because—!

“What do you mean he fell off the stage?”

“I mean he fell off the stage!”

You rub at the crease between your eyebrows. “Yeah, okay, I gathered that much, Jimin, but how? I couldn’t really understand you on the phone in between all the shrieking and background noise.” But really, you suppose that a large part of this worry sprouts from your own idiocy of automatically assuming the worse from Jimin’s call.

Although, to be fair, you couldn’t exactly put a positive spin to the ‘something happened to Jungkook, we’re in the hospital right now’ opening line—that had been Jimin’s fault.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” Jimin at least has the decency to look apologetic, studying you disheveled appearance from your messy bun to the sweatpants and mismatched socks in your shoes. “I should have been more sensitive about the situation—but Jungkook’s fine. He got a little too close to the edge of the stage during the dance number and slipped off. The show was on a standstill for a little because the paramedics had to come get him. The rest of us had to finish the show but we rushed to the hospital right after—that’s when I called you—ow!”

He gives you a wide-eyed look of surprise as you lower your hand, having just punched him rather unkindly in the shoulder.  “You should have called me immediately as he was being taken to the hospital! He must have been alone in the room for an hour!”

“Yah, I was busy performing!” Jimin retorts, rubbing at his shoulder. “Besides, he’s been in surgery up until now so it’s not like he would known you were here or not—ow, stop that!”

Surgery?” You echo, eyes the size of golf balls as you stare at Jimin incredulously, unable to believe that he withheld so much important information regarding the physical well being of your boyfriend. “My boyfriend has been having surgery for the past hour and nobody called me?”

Keep reading

Bellamy Blake Imagine: Not Alone Anymore


Prompts: 17.-“Well, you’re coming home with me whether you like it or not.” 
43.-“I’ve had enough! I want to be alone!”

45.-“You’re competitive and so am I, and it’s going to lead to a fight.” 
126.“You’re not interested, are you?”

Summary: Reader, Lincoln’s sister, runs from Arcadia because she can’t bear any longer how skypeople treat her. Bellamy finds her and convince her to come back, because he needs her.

Word count: 1570

Originally posted by eskimo-whispers

I was furiously punching and kicking the punching bag putting all of my anger to each punch.

With every next day I was getting more and more crazy. I didn’t know how much strength was left in me, but I was sure it wasn’t much.

I had agreed to come here with Lincoln because I had been promised better life. But after a month of being there I knew it was just a lie.

Keep reading

For Rebekah

I don’t know if you will ever see this, and you don’t know me. But I want you to know that you are loved, by so many of us. I looked forward to every video you posted, and it was obvious how much time, love, and effort you put into every script. You gave us a new, wonderful way of reading our beloved show, and backed it up with proof. I firmly believe that was the only way to read Sherlock that made sense, and it was beautiful. It still is. 

I have never written any metas, made any gifs, or ever contributed anything new or meaningful to the tjlc fandom. Hell, I have barely made any of my own posts.

But my heart is broken. For you, for our fandom, and for Sherlock and John, who deserved so much better than this.

So I am writing this, on the slim chance its gets to you, to say thank you. You have given this fandom so much of your time, and have been a shining light for many people, including me. 

We were so alone, and we owe you so much.

<3 A fellow Rebecca



Title: Feel My Love Part 1

Character: Jason Crouse

TV: The Good Wife

Warnings: None, fluff!

Photo/GIF credits go to the original maker/owner

Bitchin’ Polyvore made for me by the hella awesome @magikat409!!!

°Jason and You are close friends. You ask him to go to a family function with you as your boyfriend so they won’t pester you about dating someome. You realize that you have feelings for him.

If one more son of a bitch didn’t start paying attention, I was going to scream. Many vendors and associates rushing to do their grunt work, kept ramming into my desk, chair and nearly myself.

I was already ill, having spoken to a cousin about a blind date that she wanted to set me up on.

No one could seem to understand that I didn’t want the help of finding someone or even have the time to date anyone for that matter.

If it was going to happen, then it’d happen all in due time.

Having seen so many relationships crash and burn because they were rushed; that just wasn’t what I was looking for.

My laptop dinged, indicating that I’d gotten an email. I groaned when I saw that it was from my hated Aunt Milley.

I scanned over it. It was my Grandparents 60th wedding anniversary and Aunt Milley along with other family members were planning it.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my Grandparents; sweetest people on earth, but everyone else always had their nose in my business.

I jumped when a chair collided with mine. My furrowed brow tensed when I put on my best bitch face.

I relaxed it when I saw that it was a close friend of mine, Jason Crouse. He still got the stink eye though.

He grinned, “Aww c'mon! Turn that frown upside down!”

I looked Jason up and down, curling my nose at him as if he stunk, “Go to hell.”

He chuckled, bumping me with his shoulder, “Vicious today, aren’t we?”

My annoyance deflated a bit, “Sorry, I-” My sentence was cut off as another vendor hit my chair.

Jason put a hand on my arm when I closed my eyes and counted to ten. When I opened them, he was still grinning, but he did seem concerned.

“David Lee give you more grunt work?” Jason asked, taking his hand from my arm.

“Pssft. I wish!” I turned my laptop towards him.

His eyes squinted to read, even though he was wearing his glasses. Jason was a quick reader, whistling as he sat back when he finished.

“Family function. Sounds like fun.”

“I’d rather get my nipple peirced.”

Jason laughed, shoving me lightly.

“I honestly don’t want to go, but I don’t want to upset Gran and Grandad…”

I sat up straight, snapping my fingers as an idea came to me, “Will you go with? Pretend to be my boyfriend?”

He put his hands up, “Woah, Y/N. I don’t do family events all too well.”

“Please, oh please!?” I begged, bouncing my legs up and down.

Jason tugged on his earlobe, a nervous habit of his before answering, “Alright,” he snapped his fingers at me, “but you owe me!”

I squeeled, giving Jason a tight hug.

“Sexual harassment in the work place is frowned upon Miss Kline” Alicia Florrick, the woman that broke Jason’s heart, looked down at me.

I sighed, “I wasn’t doing anything,”

Jason looked tightly at Alicia, his jovial mood gone.

She leaned over, “So, Jason, I’m needing some help with a case. The paperwork alone will take all weekend. Can I put you on it?”

I waited quietly, blankly staring at my laptop screen, trying to disappear.

Alicia had done a number on Jason. He gave her so much of himself only to have her to ask him to “Wait for her.”

He left the Chicago area for a few months, but thankfully kept in contact with me.

“Nope,” he answered gruffly, “I have plans.”

“Oh, really?” Alicia asked, raising a brow.

Jason just nodded.

The tension broke as soon as Carey called Alicia to his office.

Releasing a breath, I sagged into my chair, “Well, that was awkward.”

I could see that Jason was still perturbed by the whole bit.

“Yeah. Listen, I gotta go. Text me the details and I’ll call you later.” He said, getting out of his chair.

“Okay. Are you..?”

He smiled, leaning down to kiss my head, “I’m fine, Y/N. See you.”

“Bye.” I whispered.
Friday had finally rolled around. Everything was packed and in the car. All I had to do was wait for Jason.

I jumped off the couch when I heard him knock, “Hey, you ready to go? Let’s go!” I said, quickly.

“Woah there, Y/N. Where’s the fire?” He laughed.

I threw my jacket over my shoulders and grabbed my keys, “I just want to get this over with.”

Jason threw an arm over my shoulder, tugging me close, “Calm down, alright?”

I took a deep breath and relaxed, laying my head on his chest.

“Okay, okay,” I took another deep breath, “Let’s do this.”
My Grandparents had a really nice farm house and tons of acreage. Plenty of cars from the family were lined up and that’s when I started to get really nervous.

I turned to Jason before unbuckling, “Remember everything?”

“Yep. Don’t worry, Y/N.” He assured me.

I nodded, “Right,”

We unbuckled and got out of the car. One of my cousins came out of the house. She turned, yelling inside to everyone that I was here and that I had a man with me.

“It has begun,” I said, mocking ominous music.

Jason laughed, taking my hand in his and kissing the top as he winked.

Grandma greeted us on the porch, holding her arms out for me to hug her.

“Hey Grandma,”

“Y/N! Look at my beautiful Granddaughter,” Gran held me at arms length, then looked over my shoulder at Jason, “Hello there.”

He tipped his chin in greeting as he smiled, “Ma'am. Nice to meet you.”

“Oh come here!” I laughed when Gran’s tiny frame tried to reach Jason.

Grandpa came out, clearing his throat, “Now, I may not be young like I once was, but I’ll still fight you for her.”

We laughed while Gran went to Grandpa's side.

“Come give this Old Fart a hug!” He gave me a quick squeeze, then shook Jason’s hand.

“So you’re Y/N’s boyfriend?” Grandma asked.

“I am, yes Ma'am.”

“Treating my Granddaughter well then?”

Jason kissed my temple, putting his arm around my waist, “Yes, sir.”

“Good to hear,” Grandpa clapped, “Let’s get out of this chilly air.”

The house got quiet when Jason and I crossed the threshold.

The one person who I didn’t want to deal with rounded the corner.

Aunt Milley.

“Oh shit,” I whispered.

Jason looked down at me, concerned.

“So we meet the boyfriend. Have to say, Y/N, I thought it was a fake.”

“Well, I’m not.” Jason said.

I looked up at him and saw the dangerous glint in his eyes.

“Milley, that’s enough.” Grandma said.

Things returned to normal when Milley left the room.

Leading Jason to the coat closet, we hung up our jackets and scarves. When he took his hat off, his hair was sticking up in diffrent directions.

“Oh my gawd, you’re hair,” I laughed.

He fixed it as I hung up our belongings. Once we were situated, we headed back out towards the kitchen.

“Y/N, be a dear and go help your Aunts, please?”

I nodded, making sure to have Jason with me at times.

After introductions were made, I was put to work with making the potato salad.

As I stood at the sink washing the vegetables, Jason came up behind me putting his hands on my waist and kissing my shoulder.

“Need any help?”

The sudden display of affection threw me for a loop and I had to admit that a part of me liked it and wanted more.

“Baby?” His voice was clear enough so my Aunts could hear him.

I cleared my throat, “Oh, um, no. I’m good.”

He kissed my cheek, leaning his back against the counter, crossing his feet at the ankles.

Two of my nicer Aunts asked certain questions.

“So how did you meet?”

“Through a mutal friend. Remember Lucca?” I said, scrubbing the dirt from the potatoes.

“Oh, yes! How is she?”

“She’s doing great. Has her own office now.”

“Now Leslie, we want to know more about Jason!” Aunt Rachel said, happily.

“Aren’t you a bit old for Y/N?”

And there was Aunt Milley, grouchy for eternity.

I looked to Jason, watching as his eyes squinted slightly.

“I admit, I’m not young, but that has nothing to do with how much I love your neice.”

I smiled softly.

“I think this is all set up. There’s no way that a man like him could ever go for someone like Y/N.” Aunt Milley said, hate just seething from her.

I was so caught up in cutting, that the knife slipped, knicking my finger. I hissed, jerking my hand to my chest.

“Y/N?” Jason was instantly there, checking on me.

Feeling like I had no breathing room, I moved back from Jason.

“Excuse me.” I said, my voice catching.

“Y/N!” Jason called after me.

I didn’t answer as I took two stairs at a time to the upstairs bathroom.

“Milley, what the hell is wrong with you!?” Aunt Rachel snapped.
A firm knock sounded on the door.

I sniffled, pulling back the gauze from my cut, only to find it still bleeding, “Be out in a minute.”

“Y/N, open the door.” Jason said.

“It’s unlocked.” I said, meekly.

He came in, locking the door as he shut it.

“Hey,” he said, soothingly as he knelt in front of me, “you okay?”

I shrugged then bit my lip, feeling my tears start again.

“Shhh, come here Sweetheart,” Jason enveloped me in a hug.

His pet name, said without anyone else around, finally made the tears fall.

He rocked me gently, playing with my hair to soothe me.

“Can I look at your finger?”

I nodded.

Jason leaned back, wiping my cheeks before taking my hand to examine the cut.

He hissed softly as he lifted the gauze, “You don’t need stitches, but you sliced yourself a good one.”


“Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Jason had my finger cleaned and bandage in no time. I honestly didn’t want to leave the bathroom, though.

“Do we have to go back down there?” I asked.

He put some hair behind my ears and smiled, “Yeah, we need to. Don’t worry though, Rachel reamed Milley a new one.”

I gave a watery laugh, sniffling again, “You always know what to say to make me feel better.”

Something shifted between us; something that Jason felt as well, given how his eyes changed color drastically.

Another knock made me jump, making whatever was happening break.

“Y/N, honey. You and Jason come on, Mom and Dad are about to dance.” Aunt Rachel said, softly.

Jason wet a washcloth for me, gently cleaning the tear tracks from my cheeks.

“Ready?” He asked, folding the cloth.

Grandpa held Grandma close as they dance in small circles.

Flashes went off every now and again as Aunt Rachel took photos.

Everyone clapped once the song ended, cheering a Happy Anniversary to the happy married couple.

Grandpa raised his arms, “Now everyone dance!”

Jason stood, holding a warm hand out to me.

I shook my head, laughing, “Oh no! No way!”

“Chicken?” He raised a brow, his tounge sneaking out from his teeth as he grinned.


He pulled me up, putting my arms around his shoulders, while his rested on my waist.

My cheeks heated, turning rosy in color.

“It’s a good color on you,” Jason teased.

I rolled my eyes, my cheeks hurting from the smiling, “Oh gah, shut up,”

He chuckled, swaying us from side to side.

We both got quiet as the music continued to play. The atmosphere seemed charged, like it was when we were upstairs.

Jason’s eyes were the darkest that I’d ever seen them, almost to the point where I couldn’t see the pupils.

He looked panicked and I felt the same way. When he leaned down and cupped my cheeks, I nearly wanted to pass out.

He waited a moment, letting me grip his wrists firmly as I took a calming breath.

Slowly, Jason’s lips touched mine, lingering for a second before becoming firmer.

It was slow and respectful as we were mindful of my family most likely gawking at us.

With his nose nuzzling mine, Jason pulled back slightly, only to take my lips with his again.

We pulled back enough just to stare at each other as the song ended.

It was right then and there that I realized…

I’m in love with Jason Crouse.

Folks that want to be tagged:

@thedeadmost@krissy25@fancybubble@superprincesspea@cherieann-2001@darshaya@ladylorelitany@ali-pennell@wadeyourebarelyalive@fangirlindenial@negans-dirty-girl@smuttwd@justacaliforniandreamer@piilow-talk@pan-and-proud-writes@memphisgirl1977 @5sos1dsex @deviousginga@strangersangel9@mogaruke@crzcorgi@siobhan-elizabeth@thecynicalnerd@cookiemunster10@laureng-99@danleto97@miss-nori85@rhysiecupcakes@texasgal2222@magikat409@jmackie1983 @sweatersandcaffeine @andillica@brandivstheworld@persephinii666@johnthackerys@squid-from-mirkwood

Please refer to my RULES PAGE before requesting.

Masterlist // AU Prompt List

(all prompts belong to their rightful owners.)

  1. “First, murder. Then shopping.”
  2. “When I told you this information, I wasn’t expecting it to spread.”
  3. “But he always has a way of finding you.”
  4. “Remember who you are.”
  5. “there’s nothing quite like the thrill of a good chase.”
  6. “You’re not the first to mistake me as my sibling.”
  7. “I’ve never felt the need to give anyone bad luck until I met you.”
  8. “I know I said I’d do anything for you, but burying the dead is a bit more than I ever expect out of it.”
  9. “I swear it won’t happen again.”
  10. “Our magic is completely incompatible, but that’s what I like about them.”
  11. “I’m looking for a reason not to throw you out and you know what? I’m not finding any.”
  12. “I hate it when I walk into an alleyway and there’s already someone dying in it.”
  13. “Slipping back into old habits I see.”
  14. “See, now neither of us have any dignity left.”
  15. "I’m sorry I called you at 3AM. I needed you.”
  16. “Anything is possible, if you’re annoying enough about it.”
  17. “You know, some people say it’s the quietest people who have the loudest minds.”
  18. “Someone around here has been freezing time, but I only know that cause I’m unaffected by it.”
  19. “Watch where you’re swinging that wand!”
  20. "The police are coming.”
  21. “Sometimes I just like listening to your voice.”
  22. “I can’t stand how different you become with alcohol in your system.”
  23. “I only joined your organization so that I might have the pleasure of leaving it with a spectacular betrayal.”
  24. “As soon as the world’s not ending I want you to sit down and tell me literally everything you know.”
  25. “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.”
  26. “Please put me down, it’s just a sprained ankle.”
  27. “So what if I broke my arm I’m still doing it.”
  28. “I think you and I should spare ourselves a lot of uncoolness and walk through life together.”
  29. “Screw you!”
  30. “Kiss my ass!”
  31. “I can’t believe this.”
  32. “It would be a shame if I had to damage that pretty face of yours.”
  33. “The only thing that ever made sense to me was you, and how I felt about you.”
  34. “Why are you pointing that gun at me?”
  35. “It isn’t up for debate.”
  36. “I cannot deal with your bullshit right now.”
  37. “I’m going to punch you in the mouth…with my mouth…gently…and repeatedly.” (Requested w/ Jungkook)
  38. “Go away.”
  39. “Did you just…finish?” (Omg haha please, awkward sexual encounters are my life)
  40. “Are you getting any closer?” (Omg haha please, awkward sexual encounters are my life)
  41. “Shit sorry, am I going to fast?” (Omg haha please, awkward sexual encounters are my life)
  42. “You gave me my first kiss. you taught me how to dance. ou were always talking about these crazy things, and I will never understood a word you said.”
  43. “You loved me at my best, but they stayed at my worst.”
  44. “Oh my, looks like you dropped something.”
  45. “I want you to forget about everything that happened between us and remember we’re friends.”
  46. “If I could I would kiss away all your scars.”
  47. “Just relax, I’ll wash your hair for you.”
  48. “Are you wearing my shirt?”
  49. “You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!”
  50. “I don’t ever want you to hold yourself back because of me.”
  51. I’m in your memories and you will always be here to remind me.”
  52. “We broke up for a reason; so we could get back together.”
  53. “I tell ya, I could watch you eat pizza forever.”
  54. “Where have you been?! I’ve been waiting for hours!”
  55. “You promised me you wouldn’t do this anymore!”
  56. “Wake up! Wake up, you’re having a nightmare!”
  57. “Close your eyes, and hold out your hands.”
  58. “Sit down, I’ll get it.”
  59. “Why can’t we make this darkness feel like home?”
  60. “I’m leaving, and I’m not intending to come back.”
  61. “There’s a difference between being brave and being stupid.”
  62. “Don’t ignore me. Please.”
  63. “What, I’m not even worth speaking to anymore?”
  64. “Fine. Your silence says everything you won’t.”
  65. "I can’t unlove you, but I can love you in a different way now.”
  66. I’m so sorry to let you down. I know you were looking forward to this.”
  67. “I’d burn you alive if I could.”
  68. “Why didn’t you tell anyone what you were going through?”
  69. “You could have told me you felt like this.”
  70. “I can tell you you’re not alone, because I’ve felt like this too.”
  71. “I don’t think I will get better. I felt the same five years ago and I’ve spoken to plenty of therapists in the meantime. I think it’s just a part of who I am.”
  72. I know there’s nothing I can say to make it better, so maybe you should just let me hug you for a while?”
  73. “I’ve never felt this much pain I my life.”
  74. “Ow…I think I broke something.”
  75. “Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.”
  76. “You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”
  77. “Shooting star, make a wish.”
  78. “I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…”
  79. “The whole world can just go to hell.”
  80. “The only puzzle he hasn’t solved is how to grow up.”
  81. “It’s impossible to solve things without a tie.”
  82. “Run while you can, while you have the chance.”
  83. “Why is it that you always take it out on me? Is it what you need to make your life complete?”
  84. “So I’ll wait for you even though you don’t want me to.”
  85. “May your lips taste of mine when you kiss him.”
  86. “this is not what I intended at all, how can we lit this all slip away?”
  87. I’ve been sitting here for hours.”
  88. “I created a monster, a hell within my head.”
  89. “Miss mysterious, who are you?”
  90. “You were my touch of duality and I’ll haunt your every dream.”
  91. “Nothing scares me anymore.”
  92. “You know that we’ll never leave if we don’t get out now.”
  93. “Apparently like 20 years ago, some girl slaughtered her family in the basement.”
  94. “Whose grave were you bringing flowers to?”
  95. “I keep getting the feeling that someone is following me.”
  96. “P-please…put the knife down.”
  97. “I’ve always wanted to see you chocking on your own blood.”
  98. “I have never seen you screw up on anything. I’m the screw-up, remember?”
  99. “When you walk in here, you make me hope. Hoping is bad for me, so do not come back here unless you are back for good.”
  100. “You keep secret’s from me, you make me feel small.”

nyu-mc-nyusen  asked:

Tbh although I enjoyed the rush and the whole season was well written and produced as always (I mean the story itself is really good) I was really shocked about what they did. I'm not sure why they ruined the hope of the fans in this cruel way?

*mutters* Yeah, me too. I wonder if this is what John felt like when Sherlock jumped out of the roof and everyone was screaming how he was a fraud.

- - -

So, to Mofftiss, if you’re reading this: You told me once… that you were liars who lie. Umm, there were times I didn’t even think you were serious at all but let me tell you this: you were, uh, the best show writers and the most human… human beings that I’ve ever known and no one will ever convince me that you told me a lie. That so… there.

 I was… I was so alone. And I owe you so much.

(Oh, please, there’s just one more thing, right? One more thing. One more miracle, Sherlock, for me. Don’t… be… just queer baiting. Would you, just for me, just stop it? Stop this)

Johnlock Wedding
  • Lestrade is Sherlock’s best man, and Mike Stamford is John’s (he did introduce them, after all), but Molly is in charge of the rings up until the wedding day.
  • John originally wanted to keep the rings at the flat because “what’s even the point of having someone else keep them??” but Sherlock had a bad habit of putting his ring on and wearing it.  All the time.  Everywhere. (”Sherlock, you’re supposed to wait until after the wedding.”  “What for???”  “*sigh*”)
  • Mycroft is grudgingly invited at John’s insistence.
  • Sherlock and John wear matching bespoke tuxedos.  (John: “Please, god, never tell me how much these cost.”)
  • Sherlock insists on spending the night before the wedding apart from John, so he sleeps on Lestrade’s sofa.  (John thinks it’s a ridiculous tradition especially since they’ve been sleeping together for years at that point and neither one of them is a “bride”, but Sherlock is adamant.)
  • John arrives at the church five minutes late, and Sherlock is convinced for those five minutes that John has been murdered.  Lestrade has to physically restrain him from running off to search for a body.
  • They write their own vows, and Sherlock’s end with “I was so alone, and I owe you so much” and John cries.
  • When they cut the cake John does the traditional thing and shoves it into Sherlock’s face, so Sherlock immediately kisses him in retaliation, and they pull away giggling, both covered in cake and icing.
  • Molly takes about a thousand pictures.  (For their first anniversary she gives them a framed one of her favorite, from their first dance, Sherlock laughing, his face happier than she’s ever seen it, just after John has spun him and pulled him back into his arms.)
  • Mrs. Hudson gets a bit tipsy and starts talking loudly about how she’ll definitely need to wear her earplugs tonight since her boys can be so loud when they’re–John interrupts her quickly with a nice cup of tea.
  • At the end of the night Mummy Holmes hugs Sherlock so tightly he can hardly breathe and says in his ear, “I’m so glad you found someone who loves you as much as I do.  Take care of him, dear.”  And Sherlock says, “Always, Mummy.”
  • Late that night, when they’re tangled up together beneath the sheets, Sherlock pulls John’s hand to his lips and kisses his new wedding ring before tangling their fingers together.
  • John says, softly, “I never thought we’d get here” and Sherlock smiles softly and replies, “That’s because you’re an idiot,” and John pinches him, and they both giggle and giggle and giggle and then there’s a lot more kissing before they finally fall asleep, wrapped up in each other, warm and content.

S H E R L O C K - series 2 | You…you told me once that you weren’t a hero. Umm, there were times I didn’t even think you were human, but let me tell you this: you were the best man, and the most human…human being that I’ve ever known and no one will ever convince me that you told me a lie, and so. There. I was so alone, and I owe you so much. Okay. No, please, there’s just one more thing, mate, one more thing. One more miracle, Sherlock, for me. Don’t…be…dead. Would you do…? Just for me, just stop it. Stop this.

So I thought about talking some positivity and what better way than going back and looking on CS moments I still can’t believe we were given?

Their first kiss, okay, I mean, they could have cared less about Emma’s stance on this relationship and have her simply out of nowhere start liking Killian and that’s it. I mean, I liked it from the first moment, I was waiting for it to be perfect but never did I feel Emma was nowhere close.

And I appreciated that so much. They managed to balance Emma’s traits of being a mother, a friend, a woman falling in love and an important character of her own and not make her indifferent or boring at any moment. You don’t usually get a female character who gets so much, let alone someone who is so likeable and relatable.

And they did the same with her romance.

All this talk about Killian “pressuring” Emma, and all I can see is Killian waving at her a LET ME LOVE YOU sign. They never make the mistake of showing that Emma owes him anything, instead they have Killian keep showing her that she can open up, that she is loved right where she is. That she can belong there so long as she wants it.

And boy, we all know how much she does want to find a home. But she’s afraid, and the show doesn’t shy away from showing that her fear is justified and normal. And Killian never shows her that her fear is irrational, he simply tries to get her to fight this fear.

Because you know that he is fighting his own fear of losing the people he loves. And ok now I’m touching CS movie material so that’s a whole thing by itself.

Keep reading