Victoria Beckham’s letter to her 18 years old self.
I know you are struggling right now. You are not the prettiest, or the thinnest, or the best at dancing at the Laine Theatre Arts college. You have never properly fitted in, although you are sharing your Surrey school digs with really nice girls. You have bad acne. You think the principal has put you at the back of the end-of-year show (in a humiliatingly bright purple Lycra leotard) because you are too plump to go at the front. (This may or may not be true.)
There is a red telephone box outside the school and you have just rung your parents, crying, “I can’t do this, I miss home, I’m not good enough.” And Mum has told you to come home. “We’ll go to Lakeside and buy a new pair of shoes,” she said. It’s tempting. But then Dad got on the phone: “Stay there, prove everyone wrong.” If you’d listened to Mum, you would be going to Lakeside. (Shoes are important, just not right now.) It would be theeasy solution. And I’m writing to jolly you along, to offer consolation and encouragement, and to tell you, aged 18, to be strong.
You haven’t forgotten being bullied at school, have you? Do you recall that first day at secondary school? Most children were wearing their own coats and had the latest cool bag, but not you. Kitted out in the full St Mary’s High School uniform, you stood in the freezing playground while other teenagers walking past threw soggy tissues and old Coke cans that they plucked from the puddles. But the thick skin that you developed then is already standing you in good stead, and it will do so for the rest of your life.
Your complexion will sort itself out (in fact you will launch your own make-up brand); as soon as the Eighties are over, your perm will die down, and your weight will settle itself. At school you eat Super Noodles and boxes of Frosties because they say they are fat free, and you will endure many other silly fad diets (including an addiction to green juices). Instead, learn to embrace your imperfections – that is what I want to tell you. Let your skin breathe; wear less make-up. (And don’t ever let that make-up artist shave your eyebrows! The effects last forever.) You will always be addicted to Elnett hairspray but you will tone it down. Less of the “Hello! I just got stuck in a wind tunnel”, please. And I should probably say, don’t mess with your boobs. All those years I denied it – stupid. A sign of insecurity. Just celebrate what you’ve got.
Do answer an ad in The Stage, looking for candidates to form a new girl band. Line up around the block and audition to change your life. You love musicals – Miss Saigon, Cats, Starlight Express and Les Misérables – so you will perform “Mein Herr” from Cabaret, while everyone else sings a Madonna song. You haven’t yet heard of the internet or electronic mail or smartphones. Nor have you perfected the art of the selfie for Instagram (you can’t even turn on a computer right now, and Dad still drives to London to send a telex). But one day you will find that audition performance again online, and at the same time discover that your name brings up 47,800,000 search results on Google.
The judges of the competition will match you to four other girls, all misfits in their own ways. Together you will make it OK to look different. And, as the Spice Girls, you will sell 75 million records. You cannot possibly imagine your future life right now. You will travel on private planes, visit incredible countries, stay in fantastic hotels. (At the beginning, you will steal the hotel mini shampoos, shower gels and conditioners, but you soon realise that they leak in your suitcase – often disastrously.) You will storm into people’s offices, leap on to tables in hotels and go crazy (although you will also be the one checking that the table isn’t going to collapse). You will meet Nelson Mandela, Mariah Carey and Elton John. But please, I implore you, keep a diary. There will be so many amazing moments, and you will forget.
There will also be down days and bad days. You will often be so busy that you will be in a different country every day. And being young and a bit silly, you’ll complain and sit in hotel rooms and moan about being tired. Go out and see the country where you are. Go to galleries, go to museums. Soak up the culture. You are lucky to be there. If you don’t join the Spice Girls, you might always be that insecure person in that little shell, and you will never become who you truly are. With this in mind, be kind, be polite, be considerate of others’ feelings, because I know that every one of us would sit here now and say they’re not the main culprit, but we didn’t fully appreciate each other a lot of the time. So practise what you preach when you sing “friendship never ends”, and celebrate everyone’s uniqueness.
You are going to have so much fun with your clothes – PVC catsuits; chokers that say absurd things; weird spiky blonde hair. It will never occur to you that you appear ridiculous. You will turn up at awards ceremonies resembling a drag queen. But I look back at you and smile. It will add interest to your life to go from one extreme to another. I love the fact that you will feel free to express yourself. Fashion will take on added stature one day, but try not to be stifled by it. You will learn, as you mature, to swap heels for Stan Smith trainers, minidresses for crisp white shirts. And you will never be one of those people who just roll out of bed. Wear sunglasses a lot. Even inside. Especially at airports. They turn a nothing-outfit into something quite pulled together and cool. You are going to really like Aviators. (Then one day you will develop your own!)
On boyfriends and lasting love: learn more about football, especially the offside rule. And yes, love at first sight does exist. It will happen to you in the Manchester United players’ lounge – although you will get a little drunk, so exact details are hazy. While the other football players stand at the bar drinking with their mates, you will see David standing aside with his family. (He’s not even in the first team at this stage – you are the famous one.) And he has such a cute smile. You, too, are close to your family, and you will think how similar he feels to you. He’s going to ask for your number. (He still has the London-to-Manchester plane ticket on which you wrote it.) I’m afraid that most of your first dates will be in car parks, which is not as seedy as it sounds. It is because your manager, Simon Fuller, will warn you, “Don’t let anyone see you out together or you’ll get hounded.” At the time, you won’t understand why.
You are going to be very, very famous, both for the band you form and because of the man you marry, and then later for a fashion business you will launch in your own name. You will get used to fame. Although you cannot set a price on losing privacy, you will learn to use celebrity to your advantage. For good things. For charity. One day you will have the privilege to campaign on behalf of the United Nations to end mother-to-child transmission of HIV and Aids in Africa. And people will listen. Changes will happen. That is not to say you won’t be affected by what you see of yourself in the press. It will hurt you when people comment on your weight. It will continue to upset you whatever age you are, because we women are very tough on ourselves.
The paparazzi will become part of your life, their long lenses waiting. Some are nice, some not. They may make your children cry, or they may give you a compliment – but you will not be able to control every image they publish. When you are pregnant with Brooklyn, they will snap you sitting by the pool at the Four Seasons Hotel in Los Angeles in a black-and-white bikini, and the picture will make the front page of a British newspaper. It is an unkind shot and so upsetting that for the rest of the tour you will barely leave your hotel or sit outside. And I’m the same now. Do I relax on the beach in a bikini? No. I am still hugely self-critical, and because of that I can be a little uptight. My 60-year-old self would probably say the same thing to me as I am telling you now: enjoy yourself a little more. Be less image-conscious. Learn to relax. You are going to make mistakes – of course you are. You will be super-super-successful, but you will find out that you can lose it all much more quickly than you can earn it. That is a hard lesson to learn. Collectively, I now see, the Spice Girls were victims of our own success, believing we could do anything, that the sky was the limit, that we could do it all on our own. You will learn from that, and when you have another opportunity you will not lose it again.
On being a mother: once you are a parent, you worry. And you are going to have four, so that’s a lot of worry! Mum likes to say, “You might be 42, but I still worry about you.” Children mean that you will be constantly tired and will develop big bags under your eyes. Your children will always come first, but never forget who you are and what you want to achieve. Is it possible to have it all? To be a successful working mother? You will hear this question asked by many women as you grow older. What you will realise is that by working hard, yet always putting family first, it will be possible to achieve that balance. Nothing will be perfect, but it is only now that I have learnt to appreciate all I have and all I have been blessed with. I am happy.
A word on school sports day: never wear platform heels and flares if you have to take part in the mothers’ race. And never believe another mum when she says she will stick with you at the back of the race. Because she won’t. And when they announce, “It’s the taking part that counts,” it’s not. It’s all about winning. You will shout at home but never at work. Be a nice boss. Ultimately, go with what you think, but don’t smother those who are talented. (If they are not, then admittedly I get frustrated – I’m not very tolerant.)
On marriage: have patience. Bite your tongue. Be supportive. And preserve a bit of mystique. Never let yourself go completely (at least brush your hair, clean your teeth, have a bit of a brow going on because you will always want him to look at you and feel attracted). Always make time for each other. Because if you don’t, everything will revolve around the children and I’m not sure how sexy that is! And do not forget the person you fell in love with. You will follow your man around the world, moving from Manchester to Spain, and then America. In Spain you will revel in watching him enjoy some of his best footballing days. Spain is also where you will lay the foundations for your own fashion brand by collaborating with others on denim and sunglasses.
But I need to warn you: a lot of your time there will be really hard. I’m not afraid to say now what a horribly difficult time it was. People will say awful things. You will be a laughing stock. Every time you turn on the television or look at a newspaper it will seem as though someone is having a go at you and your family. You will learn how mean other women can be. (And it will teach you always to support the women around you, to take them on a journey with you.) Others would crack under the pressure, but you won’t. Use that time to close off, to focus, work hard and protect the children. In relationships people will throw obstacles in your way, and you either manoeuvre around them or you trip up. You will never discuss with David how many children you both want; you don’t say to each other, “Where shall we live?” You don’t discuss any of that because you will be young and in love. Even when you don’t necessarily want the same thing, your support for each other will mean that you will stick together and grow up together. And it will be worth it.
Most days, you will look at your life and think, “Wow! I was never the one who was supposed to get all this.” I want to tell you that I still feel that way now. Recently I was in New York for the British Vogue cover shoot in a penthouse at the Carlyle hotel. I looked out of the window and I could see the sun shining and all the yellow cabs below and I pinched myself. You are going to have many of those moments. Don’t take them for granted.
@ geology lovers: collecting pretty rocks gets expensive FAST doesn’t it because if I had money I’d be buying up these fucking rocks so fast (I bought a blue howlite worry stone the other day cause my therapist had a tiger’s eye one in her office and I LOVED it so I had to get me one)
but god it’s tempting to just throw all these rocks on my wishlist to buy later because they’re All so Pretty.
Okay, so first things first, if you’re going to splurge on anything in your dorm room, splurge on your bed. Trust me. You’ll be basically spending half of the academic year in it, and therefore snuggly is the way to go. So here are my tips on how to make your bed the snuggliest cloud ever. <3
1. You’re gonna be spending a shit ton of money on your bedding. So don’t decide to throw caution to the wind and forego a mattress protector. BUY A DAMN MATTRESS PROTECTOR. I don’t care if that mattress is brand new or 20 years old, it is dirty and you do not want to tempt fate. Just do yourself a favor and be the cool kid who doesn’t get bed bugs.
2. Next, you’re gonna need a mattress pad. Now, I personally didn’t really splurge on my mattress pad. It’s just a basic one from Target that I got on sale during tax-free weekend, but mainly you need it to keep all of your snuggly bedding from slipping around on that plastic mattress.
3. SPEAKING OF TAX-FREE WEEKEND. If you live in the States, do yourself a favor and go on your college shopping spree on tax-free weekend. The amount of money you will save is ridiculous, so just fight your way into Target and wherever else, grab your shit, and floor it to the cash register.
4. Now, as you sprint through Target with your shades on and the Mission Impossible theme song blaring out of the speakers, grab yourself a super plush mattress topper. Go as thick or thin as you want, although I’d recommend at least two inches for optimal snuggliness.
5. On to sheets! Okay, I’m gonna be honest, I despise Jersey sheets, but apparently they’re a thing for college students, so if you’re into that, go for it. Otherwise, aim for cotton, cotton, cotton. Get two sets of sheets. Believe me, sometime during your college life, you WILL ruin a set, so just save yourself a step and get extras.
6. So this bit is 100% up to your individual preference, but I personally would recommend getting a down alternative comforter (don’t get real down, save the birds, come on guys) in a neutral color. (Mine is white and I keep it pretty clean, but if you’re planning on having a Doritos-and-Pizza buffet on your bed, you might want to go for a darker color.) You can also get a duvet cover if you just really want a froofy floral print on your bed. Don’t get anything too thick or too thin, especially if you live in a place with four seasons; anything that says “all-seasonal” is A+ and 10/10.
7. And finally, pillows! I’d recommend getting two big pillows (I actually have four, because I’m a pillow whore and I have no shame), but any and all throw pillows are up to you. I would try to limit it to two, mayyyybe three small throws, since there’s only so much room on the bed and you don’t want to have to squeeze your body onto two inches of mattress next to your wall of stuffed animals and fandom pillows.
8. Lastly, WASH YOUR FREAKING BEDDING. I do mine every two weeks at least; every week would be ideal, but alas, I have a life. Just please, please, please don’t let your sheets sit and soak for four months in all the gross shit you bring in from outside. You don’t even want to KNOW what kinds of disgusting things build up on your bedding over time. Plus, is there anything better than sleeping in a newly washed and made bed that smells like Hawaiian Mango Breeze and success?
Voilà! Now you have a beautiful, plush, snuggly pile of love waiting for you after classes and studying. You’re welcome.
And to all the precious sunflowers going to college this fall, I wish you all the luck in the world, and don’t forget that even if it’s overwhelming at first, it’ll be okay! And of course, you always have boatloads of studyblrs (including me!) who would love to help you and give you advice whenever you need it.
Ehuehue little miniature of Edgy/Cherry ^^ He stands about 5 inches tall and was made with Polymer Clay and a wire armature (fully posable♡♡) ~ I had to sew/buy most of the clothes but they can all be removed/changed… I swear this little guy was expensive but coupons for Michaels are life savers xP The skateboard is also a Tech Deck and the shoes I got on EBay~ My E-BAE
I might make another one if I can find time. I seriously just finished working on a mini dollhouse and am really tempted to order some WWII airplane models~ (while studying for finals mind ya) XD
If you like quirky witchy stuff, places like target are good to shop at this time of year! I was really tempted to buy this.
Update: so many people have liked this now, maybe it’s a sign I should go back and get it haha.
ive been telling all my friends about this, but idk im hella excited so im gonna tell the internet. I think @yocourt posted something a while ago on not using your debit card, and how it helps save money.
For the past month, on payday after i take care of rent, fill up my tank and buy groceries, i withdraw a specific amount of money from my account. I make sure that i have enough food on me whenever i leave the house so that I’m not tempted to buy any food while im out. Whenever i think to buy anything, no matter what it is, I use cash. That makes me check myself, because
1. I have a limited amount of cash on me
2. I dont like running out of cash, so im always hesitant to use what i do have
It really just makes me be honest with myself like “Do you really need that?” And it really helps. So if you’re trying to learn how to budget and living check to check, this might help you. Its really easy to swipe a card until you have $5 in your account and a week left to payday. I hope someone finds this useful.
How do you stop bingeing and snacking? Bc that's my major issue
that’s my issue too. really i think that snacking is a habit that you have to break over time. i find that limiting the amount of snacks i have works wonders, so for example, i’ll buy mini versions of things so i won’t be tempted to overeat? i also think balancing your food intake daily can work wonders, so for example, eating three meals a day (they don’t have to be huge, they can be small and low cal if you’re restricting calories)! also you have to remember that occasional snacking is okay and won’t harm you too much in the long term
I was wondering if you have any tips for writing a one-shot? I want to start gming but am a little nervous about jumping into a whole campaign. Generally people have just encouraged me to buy but since I probably won't buy a full length I don't want to go that route. I'm totally new and any advice is really appreciated!
One-shots can be tough! It’s tempting to want to tell a story, but I think with a one-shot, your focus should be on crafting a really interesting encounter.
You’re not going to have a lot of time for character development and prologue type stuff, so my recommendation is to start the players off en medias res, with them already having received their mission.
On the way to their big encounter, give them some sort of opportunity to use their skills and maybe earn information or some type of advantage for their battle if they are clever or creative.
Unless you are going to have a long session for your one shot, don’t have anything beyond the most minor of random encounters, because as a first timer, you’ll be surprised by how long combat takes, and you don’t want to spend too much time and focus on little random dudes.
As for what makes an interesting combat encounter, here are a few tips:
Not many monsters/bad guys are formidable all on their own. So either have a group they can fight, or one big opponent with several smaller baddies. A mixed group is interesting because you get to use different abilities!
You can use the environment to make the battle more interesting. Plus it gives the characters with ranks in stuff like Acrobatics, Climb, Swim, etc to show off their moves.
Consider adding a new element or having the opponent switch tactics part way through the battle to shake things up.
If the opponent is intelligent, you can have them try to make a deal with the players. If it’s something that benefits the players, but also conflicts with their larger goal, it can create an interesting role-playing opportunity.
Assuming the characters survive, try and end with a social interaction! Having a chance to affect the NPCs and the world is what gets players invested.
I hope you enjoy yourself and learn a lot! I’ve had a couple one-shots turn into full fledged campaigns, so you never know what adventures you’ll be getting yourself into! Thanks for the question, and please let me know if you’d like any more specifics or suggestions. ^_^
Since the holidays are coming up, I wanted to talk about knitted gifts or hand made gifts. I know it’s tempting to say, “Ugh a knitted [insert item here],” or, “Why couldn’t they just buy me something instead?”
There are many different reasons why someone may choose to make your gift for the season. It might be because they really didn’t know what to get you but they know it’s cold outside and you’d look lovely in a blue hat. It may be because they’re low on money and they have plenty of materials to use on hand. But whatever reason, they love you.
How do you figure? you may ask. Well for one, making something takes time. Multiple hours, days, maybe weeks or months have gone into that gift for you. Every stitch, every thread, every moment they worked on it, they thought, “Oh I hope they like this.”
Some people have to buy the materials they use. Not all of them have it on hand. And materials can cost a pretty penny sometimes.
And when they give it to you, most likely they’ll say something along the lines of, “It isn’t much but…” or “It’s just a little something I made,” but it is a lot more than that.
If you get a gift someone made this season, it is a very sincere expression of their love for you. Please, try to appreciate it.
Some cool tips for making healthier eating choices
I ran across this sweet post here and I really find it quite informative and inspirational. So I decided to share it with you all. :)
1. Remove the crap from your kitchen: You know what I mean. Try to remove crisps, chocolate, softdrink, etc. from your kitchen and do NOT buy it at the supermarket. If you’re in a situation where you can’t chuck stuff out (e.g. living with people who aren’t changing their lifestyle) then try tip 2…
2. Hide any tempting snacks out of sight: When snacks are visible you are so, so much more likely to eat them. It’s a psychological fact. Hide the unhealthy choices at the back of the pantry and make them tough to get to.
3. Use a shopping list and eat before grocery shopping: Supermarkets and stores are quite literally designed to make you buy more. Ever noticed the chocolates near the checkouts? It’s not an accident - my first job was as a checkout chick and our management called it the “Impulse Bar”. Use a shopping list and stick to it to the letter. Eating a meal before you go will also reduce impulse buying!
4. Prepare meals in bulk: Not only are homecooked meals less likely to contain a whole range of chemicals and preservatives, but they also mean you save money and time, and you have all the control over what goes into them. Great meals for reheating include soups, stews, curry, stir-fry and sauces. If you like salads, why not prepare some diced beef or chicken with a sauce of your choice (e.g. Teriyaki chicken) to reheat and pour over fresh-bought veges throughout the week? It gives you a hot salad that will hit the spot and be much more beneficial than pairing them with rice.
5. Prepare healthy snacks in advance - make them visible and easy: You can also pre-prepare snacks by buying a large packet of nuts, some mini-protein bars, and some canned fish/chicken/turkey - bulk buying these with some large sandwich bags means you can pack snacks for yourself in advance. Put the little bags in the fruit bowl or on the counter in an easy-to-grab location and keep one in your handbag for when you get a craving - you’ll know you have an easy, convenient, and healthy option close by!
6. Use smaller plates and dishes to control portion size: Here’s an experiment for you… Get two bananas, put one on a small plate and put the other on a large plate. No matter how close to identical those two bananas are, your brain will tell you that the small plate has a bigger banana on it, and it will communicate that info to your stomach. This is a simple and terrific way of improving portion control.
7. Use your calorie tracker as a meal planner: If you don’t have time/patience to enter your meals after you eat each mouthful, then take 5 minutes in the morning on the bus/train or at your desk to enter what you think you will eat that day. This will let you know if you need to cut back on any snacks you realise you can’t afford, and also allow you to keep your meal plan in mind as you move through the day. It also lets you know when you have calories left over with which to enjoy a little bit more of something you love!
8. Start tracking at your biggest meal of the day: Although it takes some fiddling, you can change meal names on most calorie trackers. Make your first meal ‘Dinner’ if that’s your largest meal, and track from 5pm to 5pm instead of midnight to midnight. This way, if you go overboard on dinner, you can dial back your breakfast and lunch the next day to compensate, since that will likely be more comfortable for you than scaling back dinner.
9. Make one change at a time: It can be tempting to turn around one day and think “Right! I suck at this eating business - I’m going to eat salads for every meal and only drink water and track everything and it’ll be wonderful!”. Bzzzzzt - wrong! This so rarely works, and is a recipe for disaster and feelings of disappointment in yourself when you fail. There are very, very few people in this world who can change everything at once (I’m not one of them!) that I always recommend trying to make one change (e.g. cut down to one can of soft drink a day) then when you can maintain that change for a month, moving onto the next goal. It’s slow, but it will be effective. Other steps you can take (one by one!) to clean up your diet and/or portion sizes include:
add another serving of veges to whatever you eat now
cutting down your 'empty’ carb servings
cutting down on alcohol intake
drinking more water (instead of soft drink, fruit juice, etc.)
drink green tea instead of milky/sugary coffee drinks
track your protein intake and aim for at least 0.8x your body weight in lbs
try to keep your sugar intake under 50g per day
serve your meat with extra veges instead of rice/bread/pasta
replace rice with cauliflower rice (grated cauliflower fried in a pan with some oil/onion)
replace pasta with spaghetti squash
reduce the amount of butter, mayonnaise and cheese on sandwiches or burgers
substitute unhealthy snacks with protein bars, nuts, tuna, etc.
10. Use the 90/10 or 80/20 guideline - also known as “Don’t sweat the small stuff!”: The 90/10 guideline is basically that you eat good stuff for 90% of your calories, but 10% is whatever you want… even if it’s just pure lard or beer or whatever your guilty vice of choice happens to be. If you’re following a diet, it will be very very unlikely that you can stick to it 100% because we’re all human and so many opportunities come up in day-to-day life to try to lead us astray from all the healthy options. Enjoy a little snack each day, or save up your 10% to have one or two meals each week which don’t fit into your eating plan. Enjoy life and don’t be disappointed if you have a crap day!
Health is a journey, not a race - so just make the healthiest choices you can, when you can, and don’t beat yourself up when it’s not quite working!
I'm sick of seeing people shove fish into tiny little .5 gallon bowls and be amazed when they live longer than a couple months. I just wish I could do something to give a better life to an animals that deserves it. But you're right, buying them will only make it worse.
It’s really tempting because they’re kept in such cruel conditions, but any animal you buy will always be replaced unfortunately so it does more harm than good.
I’ve been really sick the past 2 days (being anemic sucks) and my mom says we can’t afford medicine right now. I’m super tempted to use my savings money to buy some but I really don’t want to if I don’t have to, so I’m gonna try sleeping it off and waiting it out.
Commissions will be delayed for another day or two while I recover. I’ve been having migraines and dizziness that just seem to get worse when I look at a screen for too long, so I haven’t really been able to draw :(
SinJa DJ - Person Who Does as He Pleases by Yu-Cho//Pal (RAW)
Yeah, since it’s a lot easier for me if I scan my hard copies that I have to keep hidden, I’m gonna start scanning them though it might take a while ^^;
Unfortunately, still haven’t found a cheap translator for the Gosumura one :’( I’m actually tempted to start a scanlation group exclusively for SinJa stuff as the ones I know about are pretty much inactive atm… also, since my scans are really low quality, I doubt any group would work on them ^^; but don’t even know where to start in finding staff… I am part of scanlation groups but my role is only English proofreader so yeah, I’d need at least a translator, which is the most difficult one to find :’(
Anyways, for now, here’s another raw scan of my Magi DJ :) Please support the doujinka by buying their works if you get the chance ^^
(Submission from norron2015)
Ooh yay! You think she’s okay? Now that you’ve brought her home, what do you think? I think she looks really pretty! To be honest I don’t love her dress, I think it’s too yellow, like too deep of a yellow, and I feel like it’s not quite detailed enough somehow (though I’m not sure what else they could do to make it fancier), so I didn’t buy her when I saw her in the store the other day. But I was tempted because her face is really pretty, a lot prettier than the film collection doll. Are you happy you got her?
I’m really tempted & close to buy myself a I am with Mayim t-shirt (to be precise, the slouchy versione because, you know, looser is better). I am not sure if I should buy something whose shipping cost are almost equal to the actual prize though.
So the local hipster thrift store sells old photos they’ve gotten for whatever reason and I was so tempted to just buy all of them and make something with them. It was just a really surreal sort of experience looking through someone else’s family photos.