i was ready but not my heart

For You

Warnings: smut, oral (female receiving), some dirty talk, slight bdsm, caring Bucky, yeah

Pairings: BuckyxOc

Words: 1,639

Notes: hey guys, sorry I’ve been MIA for so long, things have been crazy with my family and applying to grad school. I’ll try and get some more writing to y’all more frequently I promise<3 250 followers oh my god! Thank y’all so much

Originally posted by rohgers

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Look at my adorable alien taking his friend’s advice, after fully admitting he’d been sucking so far as he’s NEVER BEEN IN AN ADULT RELATIONSHIP EVER and “wants to not be terrible…” and stopped trying so hard…and was just THERE for her.

And the second she got the call to arms and was ready to go into fight mode, he was IN because he knows that’s what heroes do.

#Proud

Ashton Irwin - Are you ready now? Pt 1.

Word count: 2,585

smut/fluff

I think you’re gonna wanna read this one :D 


“You’ve never done it before?” I said in blissful shock.

“You say it like you’re surprised, Y/N.” He took another sip of his tea.

I sat above him on the stairs in complete silence. My best friend has never had sex in his whole life. How come I’m only just hearing about this? He looks like the type of guy who would have any girl melt at his fingertip.

“I dunno, I guess I wasn’t ready for something serious like that.” His long fingers combed through his curls.

I couldn’t help but look away when he did this. It made my heart skip a beat. I shouldn’t be looking at my best friend that way. Ashton looked up to me for a response. My fingers played with the red lip stain on the white tea cup, poking at it and occasionally smearing it.

“Your first was with that arse, Calum, wasn’t it?” I could see fire in his eyes.

I didn’t want to talk about him.

“I can’t believe you actually loved that prick.” He rolled his eyes.

“I had my reasons, Ashton.”

He made a sound of disgust, “What was he good in bed?”

I’d had enough. I stood from my seated position leaving my tea and Ashton behind on the stairs and marched to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. How dare he. He wouldn’t know how it feels to be in love, obviously. He’s never been with anyone like I have. I felt tears streaming down my face and wished Ashton had never came over today. I found comfort in my bed sheets.

Where had I even gone wrong with Calum? It was like one minute he was there and the next he was telling me goodbye and leaving for the states, taking everything but me with him. Ashton was there for me but he didn’t get it. He hated Calum ever since we started dating. They used to be friends until we got together. Ash said he knew Calum would always break my heart, it was just who he was.

-Flashback-

I knew I wanted to give myself to Calum the night he brought me back to his flat from the pub. I’d gotten into a pretty bad brawl with another girl for getting too close to Cal for my comfort. When he told her to back off for the third time I pulled her off the bar stool onto the floor and started hitting her. Calum later said it was the sexiest thing I’ve ever done, sticking up for him like that.

“You look hot in my shorts.” Calum growled, jumping into the bed, his hair still wet after the shower.

I giggled as he grabbed his game controller and began to furiously play a game of FIFA. I brought my bottom lip between my teeth and fiddled with the string on the over sized shorts adorning my smaller waist.

“Hey, Cal?” He hummed over still concentrating on the screen.

I crawled over, pressing pause on the controller. My legs straddled either side of his waist and he grabbed hold of my arse, the game controller falling to the carpet.

“I wanna try something.”

He raised an eyebrow and his eyes grew wide when he knew what I meant, his lips forming an ‘o’.

“Are you sure, baby?” He whispered.

I nodded, “I want you.”

-End of flashback-

A knock on the door brought me out of my deep thoughts of Ashton and Calum. I didn’t turn to see Ash walk in the room. My bed tilted but I refused to meet the gaze I knew was focused upon me. He touched my hand.

“I’m sorry.” I looked at him, his head down now.

“You don’t know what that feels like, Ash.” I felt a lump in my throat just thinking about it.

I needed to feel loved again. I needed that connection. Ashton was my best friend but sometimes it felt like I wanted him to be more. I didn’t know if he felt a mere portion of what I did.

“Are you ready now?” The words fell from my mouth before I could think about what I was asking of him.

He just stared at me his mouth slightly agape. Ashton was an open book, but right now I couldn’t read him. His pupils were dilating. My heart was pounding against my chest as I waited for an answer. I squeezed his hand.

“Ash-”

Ashton forced his mouth onto my own, his hand flying up to catch my face. My hands found themselves tangled with his mop of curls. He smelled like rich peppermint and my favorite cologne. It was then it dawned upon me: I was going to be his first.

I broke the kiss and moved my lips to the spot just below his ear, sucking the skin. His hiss was all the conformation I need that he liked it here. I sat up and threw my legs over his own to straddle his lap. Ashtons hands settling on my abdomen and arse. I bit down harder this time intending to mark him. Rolling my hips forward into his we both moaned at the increased friction. His bulge was becoming more and more prominent through his jeans.

“Fuck, Y/N.” Ashton hissed rolling his head back.

I used his disarrayed state against him, licking a bold line up his atoms apple and gently sucking it. Ashton rose up off the mattress begging for more contact.

“You like that, daddy?” I felt Ashton twitch when I called him that.

My crotch rubbed against his clothed erection and I couldn’t help but throw my head back in pleasure. Ashton was getting restless, rocking his hips up to meet mine.

“Please.” He puffed out in my ear.

I slid off of his lap but not before needingly pecking his lips one last time. He ridded himself of his shirt and I stood before him in awe. I’ve seen Ashton shirtless before plenty of times but this was different. He was at my mercy and I was at his. I came to sit on my knees, undoing the buttons on his pants. Ashton raised up for me to pull them down his legs. He kicked them off of his feet and were left in just his briefs. I took my bottom lip between my teeth as I freed his erection from the grey material and tossing them out of the way. His length slapped against his stomach. I could feel his eyes burning down on me.

Holding the length in my hand I pumped it a few times. My thumb rubbed over the pink head and Ashtons hips rose off the bed, hissing. I kitten licked over the tip before taking it in my mouth. Ashtons moans filled the room. I hollowed my cheeks to increase the pleasure and started twisting my hands back and forth over his length. He confused me when he pushed at my shoulders, causing me to release him from my mouth making a popping sound.

His hands came down to the hem of my t shirt and tugged it over my head. He already looked tired, his eyes drooping low and sweat decorating his forehead. I wasn’t nearly done yet. We haven’t even gotten to the main course.

Ashtons eyes grew wide when my head dipped back down. My tongue followed the patterns of his veins before I took him whole again, pumping harder this time. He held back my long hair. I massaged his balls with my free hand and it was enough to send him over the edge. A thick white liquid burst into my mouth.

“S-shit.” Ashton jerked up, hitting the back of my throat.

I finished sucking him clean of the sticky mess. When I looked up he was breathing hard and heavy, little hairs stuck to his forehead and his eyes were sealed shut. I smiled pushing them out of the way so I could see his hazel eyes. My lips came up to his in a lazy kiss.

I brought his hand down to the button of my skinny jeans, a weak smile on his face. He unhooked them, struggling to pull them down to my feet.

“How’d you get these on?” He joked.

I stepped out of them and waited for Ashton. He didn’t come back up. I giggled watching him stare at my red laced knickers nearly drooling over them. I let him guide me back to the bed and sit me down. Was he in control now?

Ashton licked his lips, running his long fingers up my thighs and over my crotch. I couldn’t help but whimper at his touch. He left kisses on the inner side of my thighs sucking the sensitive skin. He was marking me. I threw my head back on the mattress. His hot breath fanned over where I needed him most. I tangled my fingers in his hair.

“Ashton, please.” I begged.

He hooked my panties to the side and collected some of my excitement onto his finger and sucking it off. He hummed in satisfaction. I imagined his lips against me while he hummed like that, adding to the pleasure. I moaned at the thought.

“Cha’ thinking about, baby?”

“Your lips…”

He kissed my folds, licking up them. My breath hitched. I needed him. His bottom teeth grazed up the nub of my clitoris. Fucking hell.

“Ashton.” I moaned.

Without warning Ashtons tongue was inside me sucking all of my juices. I reached down for his hand that rested on my thigh, entwining our fingers.

“How the fuck are you so good at this?” I breathed.

He chuckled against me, sending vibrations through my core. Shit. My legs closed round his head before he pushed them back apart. It was too much. Ashton came up for air with a smile on his face showing off his prominent dimples. He was obviously proud of himself. He licked my excitement off his lips. With one swift movement my knickers were on the floor and my lower half was at his mercy.

He brought his lips up to my ear, teasing my entrance with his finger. I arched my back only for him to use his free hand to hold me down.

“How do you like it, baby?”

I thought back to all the mind blowing times Calum and I had done this. It would always be different. Slow and sweet. Loving. Rough. Fast. It didn’t matter to me, however they felt like pushing me over the edge worked.

“Surprise me, daddy.”

His eyes grew darker. The playful side of him wasn’t there anymore. This was going to be fun. He bit down on the skin of my neck hard and he growled. Rough. His finger slipped past my folds and into my heat. I whimpered as he pumped it in and out at a fast pace. I had to bite onto Ashtons shoulder to keep from screaming out. I didn’t want any fucking noise complaints from the old woman next door.

My walls were clinching round his finger. He added two more and pumped even faster. I couldn’t breathe. My nails clawed at his sides begging for a release. His thumb began rubbing circles into my clit. My breaths were coming out in pants in his ear.

“Come for me, Y/N. I’ve got you.”

My toes curled and my back arched up off of the mattress, Ashtons three fingers and his thumb riding out my orgasm. I felt bare when he extracted his fingers from my dripping crotch. He brought them up to his lips licking them clean.

“You have no idea how good you taste.”

Ashton went over to his jeans pulling a silver packet out of the pocket. He ridded the condom of the piece of tin and threw it in the bin. He slid the condom down his length.

“What’s with guys carrying round condoms in their pockets?” I joked.

He smiled, dimples popping into either side of his cheeks. They drove me crazy. Ashton took his length in his hand before I stopped him.

“No. I want to.”

I wanted to make his first time his best. He knew what I was asking, flipping us over so I bestrode his lap. I positioned him at my entrance and slid down it. He was so big inside me. Ashton grabbed hold of my abdomen, his thumbs pressing down hard. I don’t think he was meaning to hurt me. He didn’t notice how strong he really was compared to my smaller figure. When I winced in pain he eased up a bit, apologizing. Once I adjusted to his size I began rocking my hips forward into his. Ashtons moaning and groaning was all the conformation I needed to keep going. He used his hands to help me move more swiftly.

My back arched and it was then I noticed my bra was still on. I grabbed one of Ashtons hands and moved it to the clasp on my bra strap. In an instant he had it unattached and thrown across the room. Hungrily his head came up to my breast and bit down at the tender skin. Ashtons long fingers fell to my crotch rubbing back and forth on the small nub.

“Hmm, shit.”

“Ah, f-fuck Ash, there.” I threw my head back.

I wasn’t going to last long. My grinding became harder against his hips and our moans filled the quiet room. His member twitched inside of me and from experience I knew he wouldn’t last from here. I licked up the base of his neck biting roughly on the smooth skin. His breathing became erratic, chest rising and falling below mine. Within seconds I felt his length release inside the condom. I rode out his orgasm hitting mine only moments later shouting his name out. Screw the neighbors.

We sat in each others arms for what felt like hours. I couldn’t believe we had actually done that. Ashton was my best friend. I’d just had sex with my best friend. I’d just stolen his virginity.

“That was incredible.”

I giggled looking up at him through my eyelashes. He looked exhausted. Love bites were trickled from his ear down his neck and abdomen. I couldn’t imagine I looked any better. Ashton dipped his head and placed a lazy kiss on my mouth.

I sighed upon hearing a knock at the front door. It was probably my flatmate, Jessica. She was always at UNI so she would occasionally forget her keys here and having to get another copy. I slipped away from Ashtons warm hold and quickly dressed myself in pajama shorts and a tank top.

My hair covered majority of the bruises on my body. I made my way down stairs and towards the door, Ashton right on my heels. He didn’t bother putting on a shirt, just his jeans, the hem of his briefs sticking over them. I giggled as he grabbed at my bum, my hand patting his away. I sped walked to the door, opening it. My smile drifted away and my heart immediately sunk. It wasn’t Jessica.

“Calum.”

His hair was cut shorter now in a military buzz cut, just leaving a little on the top, enough to style in a quiff. Tattoos decorated his tanned skin. He wasn’t scrawny anymore, muscles showing through his grey t shirt. I could see his jaw clench at the sight in front of him. Why was he here?


Part two coming soon! Follow for more!

Done. - Bucky Barnes

request:  prompt one 25 38 41 buckyyy @aweways

summary: One training session with Bucky turns nasty and soon your ready to hand in your resignation. But does Bucky really want to see you go so soon? 

word count: 2.4k

warnings: angst / fluff / asshole!Bucky / fluffy!bucky /


“I just don’t see the point, Bucky!” Letting out a frustrated growl as the Soldier rolled his eyes again, I tucked my head behind my knees, trying to regain my vision and a healthy heart beat again.

For some reason today, Bucky was not letting me go down without a fight. Maybe it was the fact that I was his first ‘Trainee’ and he felt the need to get it right, or the fact that Steve supervised the training process and if I didn’t get better, he’d be disappointed. No one likes it when the Captain is disappointed, it felt as if you punched a kitten when I caused disappointment to gather in his baby blue eyes.

“Get it, now. I’m not kidding Charlie, now get up and keep going.” Embarrassment at my ass being kicked in our gym filled with all of us Avengers, training for the next deathly task we had to take.

The way he’d been kicking my ass, I was 90% sure my ass had vanished.

I had no ass to be kicked anymore, it had fallen off when he did his last move of literally kicking me in the ass so I’d stumble to the ground. I felt red flames on my cheeks, and the stare’s that were starting made me freeze.

I’d rather be smothered to death with a couch pillow than exerting any more energy in this session. I muttered to Bucky with my face hidden, my head was on my knees in pure shame.

“I can’t…”

“I’m sorry, what was that? I don’t think I heard you correctly!”

“I said, I can’t anymore…” A crack at the end gave my eyes the feeling to leak with salty drops of ‘weakness’. I didn’t want to become more pathetic than I already was, and crying was as pathetic as this moment could get for me.

“We don’t use ‘I can’t’ here. If you want to be an Avenger, then act like one, dammit!”

“I’m trying!” I cried out, finally looking up at the chocolate hair and glaring blue eyes that stared down at me with such intensity. Maybe I wasn’t good enough, maybe it was for the best if I left…

What the hell is wrong with you? Dammit. Okay.. well, maybe it’s best if you throw in the damn towel now. Before you get yourself and the rest of us killed out on missions!”

Bucky’s words stung, but what stung more was that no one raised an objection. They just were in some silent agreement with Bucky.

“Wha-”

“If that’s what you think is best, then by all means…” I turned around to see the twin doors open by FRIDAY listening to our conversation. What a cold hearted bitch, that AI was…

The gym was deadly silent now, Sam stopped punching the bag that Steve was effortlessly holding. Tony wasn’t spotting Clint anymore at the weights and so Barton laid there, with his head poking up to watch Bucky and I exchange our heated argument. Breathing in heavily like everyone else was. The gym air felt thick now, to me. It was thick with pity.

I was stumbling to my feet now, holding onto my knees as I got up on my feet. I felt like the wind just got knocked out of my chest, just from these small movements. It was painful enough to have the attention of everyone in the room, but to be this feeble and vulnerable…this felt like a whole new level of humiliation that I’ve unlocked in a very cruel video game.

I prayed for someone to at least look at me and see I needed some help! No one met my eyes that spun while I stood still, even with the room spinning, no movement was heard throughout the gym, nothing but Bucky’s invisible shoving at me to get the hell out of this gym.

I was on my own, just like before. I have always been on my own. Even after I had joined this group of misfits, I was the one looking in from the outside.

I somehow made it to the gym door, and grasped onto it, catching my dying breaths. I felt like I was going to be sick, and I wasn’t going to shame myself further by vomiting on my exit out of this gymnasium hell.

I gathered a steady balance and immediately set myself off to the bathroom down the hall. It was private so I could sob with no interruptions. Getting there was easy. Throwing up was easier. Coming to terms with the fact that I’d just unveiled my weakness in front of the people I called, ‘family’? A family that frowned on weakness, by the way. That was something by mind couldn’t conquer, or convey. How was I ever going to get off of this cold tile and make it to my room? What was going to happen next to me? Would I be kicked off? Or just sent into filing mission reports with the nerds in the basement who all had this weird look of fascination every time they saw me bring them the files that needed to be written up. It creeped me out, and I really didn’t want to leave Stark tower, too.

“FUCK!” I yelled to the audience of the vacant bathroom. I hated this damn world right now, nothing could get worse. I was absolutely sure nothing would be worse than right now.

Today, though, the lord was mad at something I’d done in the past, I believe. Because after splashing my face with cold water, washing out my mouth and smoothing down my unpleasant post-gym hair-frizz, I walked out of the bathroom, ready to bolt to the elevators and get to my room as fast as possible.

However, I was blocked by a 200 lb mass of muscle that had been lingering outside the door, anxiously waiting for the lock to turn and for me to emerge.

I yelped and felt my tired knees buckle but before I smashed my body onto the tiling, I was caught by two strong hands. Two strong, strangely different in texture and temperature, hands.

“Woah, sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you.” Opening my eyes I was met with eyes that we’re the summer sky’s afternoon colored blue. The midnight’s bewitching sky was the color of straight hair that framed the face that those eyes belonged to.

Bucky.

“S-s-sorry,” I muttered, feeling a weird mix of anger, fear, and embarrassment inside my chest. I stood up as fast as I could and shook myself out of those, surprisingly comfortable, arms. “I came here to just say that what happened in the gym today was complete-”

“Save it. What you said in there was all true. So don’t apologize for shoving my face in a pie of reality…” I tried to push my way past the mass of man but Bucky put an arm up against the doorframe, blocking me once again.

Bucky’s face was drowning in confusion and frustration. He knew why I was so pissed and wanted to run, but he didn’t understand the words I let fall from my lips so freely.

“No! That not what I came to say-”

“What! More insults! Fine, then… bring it on. I’m dead inside already, you’re just trying to kill a corpse now, Barnes.”

Bucky felt devastated, did I really think that low of him? He sure made it easy to make it so I did, but he always believed I held onto a bit of light for him.

Apparently not.

“You think I came to insult you-”

“Why else would you speak to me!”

“Let me fucking finish a goddamn sentence and you’ll find out! Fuck! Why does everything turn into a fight with you!”

“Because you make it one, Bucky! I can never satisfy you in the gym. You never even glance at me anytime we pass each other. I don’t even remember a thank you after I saved you from that sniper you missed!”

“I didn’t miss him! I knew he was there, I was gonna knock his ass out!” I bellowed a fake laugh at Bucky’s attempt to gain himself some sort of manliness just because I let him live…men.

“Were you going to knock him on his ass before or after he released the trigger you wouldn’t even hear, letting a bullet hit you right in the pulmonary artery. I like to call that shot instant death… so when would it be, James!”

“Don’t talk to me like that and use my name as if we’re friends.”

Bucky sneered down at me. I had nothing left to lose. So, why not take a few verbal swings at the man who dashed my dreams of helping the world just one more time?

“What are you gonna do? Kill me? Hit me? Take me to Fury? Go ahead, do all three, I have nothing left, Bucky! In 24 hours I’m going to be homeless and you’ll be here, sleeping in night terrors that we all fuckin’ hear at night. So go ahead and hurt me. Hurt me like you did not even an hour ago in front of my used-to-be family…” I had tears running down my cheeks that were just two ripe tomatoes. I was breathless from my rant, making my chest rising up and down.

“I just wanted to fucking tell you that I’m sorry! I was a dick in there and I’ve been one since I met you. I wanted to clean our slate because you are an amazing fighter. One of the damn best, counting Romanoff and Barton. Look,”

Bucky absentmindedly tucked a tuft of hair that had fallen from my loosened braid, behind my ear. Leave his hand lingering near my cheek, wiping my tears away. This was no Bucky that I’d ever known, this was a new one, one that I thought I was going to meet two years ago, but I was met with passive aggressive Bucky. This… this was James Buchanan Barnes. Not Bucky, Barnes, Winter Soldier… just James B. Barnes.

“Then why tell me to leave? Why kick my ass in front of everyone, telling them I should leave?”

“Because! I- I was trying to save face… but like always, I went too far.”

“Wait, what?”

There was a pregnant pause before I heard a mutter come from Buck, “Punk read my diary…”

I couldn’t help the giggle that released from my tense chest, letting the steam that lingered in there, die down. I had no tears threatening to fall, and I had no shake in my voice. I felt… safe? No… I think I felt comfort, with Bucky right now. That was a first.

Bucky’s shoulders fell with no more tension tightening them. His face brightened, illuminating his usually flat, creamy, pale skin.

”I’m so sorry I hurt you. Verbally and physically… that the last thing I’d ever want to do to you… all I want is to protect you, give you a happy life. I don’t know where my head has been these last two years but seeing you walk out those doors… made me finally accept that I can’t be without you. You’re a chatterbox, an amazing midnight sandwich chef, a terrible dancer, a loving, kind person…”

Our bodies we’re moving closer to each word Bucky spoke, his metal hand now slithered it’s way to the small of my back, bringing me finally nose to nose with the man who kicked my ass an hour ago. Now confessing his feelings for me…

Bucky Barnes was not one to be subtle, I guess.

“What are you asking me, James?” I was dipping my foot into the pool again, testing my waters with him. This time, though, when I said his real name, a broad smile appeared, and the hold on me just got tighter, and stronger with a sense of desire awaiting in his grasp.

“I’m asking you, to forgive my horrible, facade, and accept me telling you that I’m crazy about you doll…” I let out a breathless laugh, almost astounded to hear such words come from his lips.

“What can I do to make it up to you? I’ll do anything, Even if it’s going to China and back for a chocolate bar… what can I give you? Do for you?” A smile on my face brought a laugh, I brought my hand to cup his worried face, stroking it to calm the pounding in his heart. “Just… kiss me where it hurts,” 

Bucky’s tentative eyes almost frantically started looking me up and down, trying to find a spot of pain. “Where does it hurt, doll?” 

“Right here…” I whispered. With a dip of my head and nudge of my nose on his cheek, I kissed him. Feeling no longer like I was being held in his embrace, I was now, just floating in thin air. His arm didn’t weigh me down it lifted me up. His lips didn’t hurt my heart, they made it pump in a thrilling manner. His eyes didn’t frantically search the room around us whenever they made a connection with mine, now they just stayed staring at me. Never leaving my big and bright, loving eyes that looked into his with desire.

I no longer felt lost, like I had no family. Like I was on my own. With Bucky, now, I had a home. And that home traveled with me when I left those blue eyes. My home only felt more secure when I was finally laying in these arms, talking about my day, the things that happened. The good and the bad.

I guess I had been looking for a home for so long I’d forgotten what home felt like…

My home was never a place, but a feeling. One that only your soulmate could ever give you. I’ve realized, now, that your soulmate can be that one person you’d thought hated with a passion.

I guess soulmates have a good way of hiding behind smoke and mirrors until the time is right, though.


a/n: Let me know your thoughts! I hope this one is a bit different then the normal asshole bucky suddenly becomes sweet!Bucky. I always love hearing from you guys! Never be afraid to hit me up!! 

Here’s what’s up next: Last part to @giftofdreams and I’s collaboration three part: A Hidden Hero: 1 & 2 

my last imagine: Keep Holding On

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But He Didn’t (Part 3)

Took me long enough. Final part of But He Didn’t below

Member: BTS V x Y/N

Type: Angst

But He Didn’t (Part 1) is HERE

But He Didn’t (Part 2) is HERE


My fingers were almost numb. My skin tingled with a burning sensation, partnering with the gentle pinpricks of obdormition. It reminded me I was human, that I was hurting, and my feelings went much deeper than I would allow myself to realize.

My hands, wedged between my thighs and the metal park bench, were restless. My entire body was. I wanted to move, to escape from the situation I had gently talked myself into. Facing the disaster I had created was something I would never be ready for. I had to hold on desperately to the strength I had left in my heart and in my head. There wasn’t much, but it was something. 

I couldn’t give up. I was sick of giving up. 

I closed my eyes, tuning in to the sounds of the environment around me. The sound of sneakers smacking against the pavement, children’s laughter in the nearby playground, and a slow, steady crunching of leaves growing louder behind me. 

I took a deep breath before his body appeared beside mine. Hearing the gentle clink of his belt against the metal caused me to shiver. Slowly my eyes opened, grappling with a simple decision; should I look at him? 

I tilted my head, finally allowing my sight to take in what I had longed for. Taehyung sat beside me, his hood up, hands dug deep in his pockets, and his focus on the ground before him. I tried to will myself to speak, to say anything, but I felt so lost in my own mind that I wasn’t sure if I could actually provide any sort of value to a conversation. It would all just come out wrong. 

We sat in silence for what felt like eternity. I didn’t dare move, afraid that if I did, the whole situation would reveal itself as being an illusion and Taehyung would disappear before me. But I had to say something. I owed him that much. 

“I miss you,” I whispered, my words careful, deliberate. I wanted him to know what was at the forefront of my mind. It was a simple statement, but I felt like it was a good place to start. It was the most important thing I could say to him short of “I love you.” 

Taehyung nodded, clearing his throat. He turned to me, his eyes full of hurt. “Not as much as I’ve missed you.”

For a moment, I felt like I could breath again. I felt like things would be okay. That was until Taehyung licked his lips and shook his head. “But I am so, so mad at you. I don’t even want to say you’re allowed to miss me…because this was all your decision.”

I nodded, the hallow feeling quickly returning to my chest. I had messed up. I had messed up on a large, immensely nuclear level. I wished it was as simple as taking Taehyung into my arms and confirming that things would be alright, that we were ready to go back to what we once were. 

“You have no idea how I’ve felt,” he continued. “And you’ve never bothered to ask.”

I looked to the sky, attempting to halt the tears that were forming on my lashes. “I’m asking now.”

“Don’t you think it’s a little late?” Taehyung asked bitterly. 

“I do think it’s too late,” I whispered. “But I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance.” 

“That’s what I’m good at,” Taehyung grumbled, looking down at his shoes again. “Weak Taehyung who gives everyone a second chance. The boy made of sunshine. The one who doesn’t hurt.”

“Tae-”

“I do hurt, Y/N. I know it’s hard to realize, but what you did…what you did has hurt me so deeply. I felt unwanted, I felt unloved, I felt abandoned. You didn’t give me the chance to speak, to reason with you. All of this was your insecurities bubbling up and clouding anything that wasn’t your own voice. The painful thing was…that it wasn’t even you speaking. It was all of the hate, all of the toxic comments pushed our way,” Taehyung continued. “It wasn’t you.”

“Well it’s me now,” I gasped, spinning to face him for the first time since he had sat down. “I know you hurt Taehyung. That’s why it took me so damn long to call. I knew exactly how much I hurt you and how I ached inside knowing that. I was destroyed knowing I had destroyed you.” 

Taehyung nodded, biting his lip as he searched my eyes. “I’ve just missed you so much. Do you know how hard it is…to go to appearances and pretend that things are okay? That I’m not completely shattered inside? Working on music and pouring myself into choreography can only do so much. I needed you.”

“I thought I could protect us,” I whimpered. “I thought I could protect you…but Jimin made me realize. You don’t need protecting, Taehyung. You aren’t fragile. The only thing that could break you was me…and I did that.”

Taehyung remained quiet for a moment before attempting to speak. His words were low as he looked away from me. “Do you remember when we broke up?”

The actual vocalization of those words caused me to wince. I knew it was my own fault, but I had never thought of what happened as a break up. I had framed it up as a ‘shattering up’ or a ‘splintering up.’ It was something much more painful than the casual verb of ‘break.’

“You said you were sick of me having to pick up your pieces all of the time,” Taehyung continued. “That I didn’t deserve the hassle…I never thought that maybe one day…you’d have to pick up the pieces of me.” 

“I’m so sorry Tae,” I whispered. My movements were hesitant, but I finally gathered the nerve to bring my fingers out from underneath my thigh. My hand hovered for a moment, reaching out to him. I remained still, trying to decide if I should actually touch him or not. It had been so long, the feeling was so foreign. 

Taehyung didn’t waste a moment, reaching up, and capturing my hand with his. His palms, which were so much larger than my own, encased my fingers as he brought our intwined hands to his knee. He rubbed his callused thumb gently across my knuckles before looking up again. 

I closed my eyes, hiccuping as a sob tried to escape my lips. Tae’s arms were instantly around me, pulling me into his chest. I took a deep breath, allowing his scent to flood my nostrils. Baby powder and lemon. I hadn’t realized I had missed it so much. I never wanted him to let go. I hoped above all hope that he wouldn’t push me away once my sobbing had halted.

Taehyung leaned back, careful to keep my body tight to his, but enough to where he could get a clear view of my face. He slid his palm along my cheek, allowing me to nuzzle into his hand, completely immersing myself in him. 

Too much was never enough.

“Tae,” I whispered, scared of the question that would come out of my lips, but needing to reconcile with an answer. 

“Hm?”

“I…I’ve kept track of you…while all of this has been happening. Kept track of the members…I reached out to JImin a few times to see how things were…but there’s something I never knew,” I said quietly, trailing my words out before I could get to the real question. “I never saw an official statement from BigHit…about our breakup?”

Taehyung nodded, a sad smile on his lips as his eyes searched my face. “I didn’t want that permanence,” he said, his voice barely above a breath. “I was still holding out…for this moment right here…”

My heart soared as if it had sprouted wings. I was convinced it would fly from my chest at any moment now. My stomach was anxious, but with something resembling butterflies instead of nausea. Surely this was all a dream that I had crafted from my own hopes and wishes. I had waken up too many times in a cold sweat after this very scenario had played out, realizing it was only a fabrication of what I wanted. 

“So…does that mean?” I whispered, scared of another question I obviously would need to ask. 

“I said I was mad at you, jagi,” Taehyung sighed. “I never said I didn’t love you anymore.”

I couldn’t help but allow a smile as I looked up to the handsome man encasing me. I leaned in and nuzzled my face softly into the crook of his neck. It felt like coming home after a long and terrible vacation. 

“I just don’t like you right now,” he continued. “I’ll get over it though…but we will need to have a nice long discussion over some Moomin and popcorn. We have to get your subconscious to shut up and stop checking the fancafe.” 

I rolled my eyes, not bothering to get up from his chest. “I know…I have a lot to work on to get used to Bangtan’s baggage.”

“Jimin said he had talked to you about that,” Taehyung chuckled. “We may come with a lot of baggage…but at least it’s like…Louis Vuitton baggage.”

“I’ll be ready this time,” I said softly. And I meant it. I wasn’t going to push Taehyung away ever again.

Originally posted by syugakook

But He Didn’t 1/2/3

The New Princess Update

I’m sorry to tell you this guys but chapter 11 is fully written!!!!! Yeah baby!! (did I at least give someone a minor heart attack with the first few words? Or is my tired sense of humour unappreciated?) All I need to do right now is edit the hell out of it and then it’s ready to get posted. (probably somewhere this week)

Bonus: it’s 8 pages in word so prepare yourselves for an extra long chapter as a sorry for my incapability of combining writing and my life. (3 months, I’m the worst!) I hope y’all can forgive me and that you’ll enjoy chapter 11 and that the long wait hasn’t put off any of my readers.

Love y’all! ❤

Originally posted by scarecroe

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Finally Home <3

I landed in Atlanta around 6 last night, my Grandma Nandi had dinner ready and waiting for me. I love this woman I swear. She made a dinner for me on her birthday like who does that? She said it was a celebratory dinner for the both of us. I’m just glad she likes the gifts I bought for her :). I’m planning an actual birthday dinner for her with my aunt, uncle and ousins. Hopefully we can come together and get it done right for Grandma Nandi. This woman is too good!
She also told me she got a boy friend now -.- what in the world am I gonna do with this woman! But she met him at church so that’s okay :) I kinda told her about a friend of mine… She expects to meet you while I’m down here :D Maybe we can do dinner, get fed by the woman who taught me everything I know lol
Alright, back to your scheduled program people :*

She Walks A Lonely Road

OKAY! Here we go with starting 0.2!

I AM READY FOR AQUA TO WRECK MY HEART

  • Huuuh okay so we’re doing autosave in this game…
  • And apparently I need to turn brightness all the friggin way down
  • IT’S!! SO SHINY!!!
  • Also i actually really like this version of Simple and Clean, I think it might be my favorite
  • AQUA MY QUEEN I WILL SAVE YOU
  • Going to do standard mode again, although I have no clue what I’ll need for any potential secret endings
  • Woooah hey this is from the end of Back Cover basically
  • Okay I’m glad I went and watched that first then
  • YESSS Please fill in Riku and Kairi on this important stuff
  • Also man these graphics will take some getting used to
  • You saw her Mickey WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING EARLIER
  • Mmmmm I love that ocean water though
  • Oh okay it’s just the Simple and Clean title movie again
  • OH WELL I’ll listen to it twice, it’s good stuff
  • SORA REACHING OUT FOR AQUA’S HAND!!!
  • Oh wow she found Caslte of Dreams right away
  • Ooooh got a little bit of flow motion in there. Kinda reminds me of FFXIII.
  • OF COURSE there are treasure chests in the realm of darkness, why wouldn’t there be
  • Haha dang, so it starts Aqua at level 50? That’s kind of a nice touch
  • Well geez Aqua this is depressing
  • Apparently, time has run out for this bridge. *dons sunglasses*
  • Man I am really digging the environments here, sooo pretty
  • No seriously this is a gorgeous environment to play in
  • And that is all of the gears!
  • Okay I really sucked at fighting it, but that tower of Shadows boss was still awesome
  • Aqua honeyyyy
  • Terra: No I’m just here to make you sad and then vanish into sparkles
  • OH wait we’re suddenly in Dwarf Woodlands now
  • Well this is getting quite creepy, but at least I think I’m getting the hang of the controls
  • These jumps are making me kinda nervous actually
  • THAT WAS INCREDIBLY NERVE-WRACKING FOR SOME REASON
  • Aqua: I’ll kick anyone’s ass! I’ll kick my own ass!
  • This is like something out of my nightmares, geebus
  • This is really cool but also I’m so uncomfortable right now
  • Nooo someone please help this poor child
  • Oh cool, so I can go back to some previous places! I know there’s some objectives that I missed.
  • CHASE YOUR FRIENDS, AQUA
  • Man it’s nice that Aqua can actually reach a Darkside’s head just with doubleflight
  • Well that whole sequence was fukkin awesome
  • Oh well that looks appropriately hellish
  • That is WAY too many Darksides here
  • No fair that’s an entirely new move that I don’t know how to counter!
  • OKAY unfortunately I don’t think I can get much farther right now since I’m running out of time tonight, but I’ll come back later and finish this off since I think I’m close to the end anyway.

  • Aaand all right! We’re back at it and will attempt to finish story stuff!
  • I’m sure I’ll want to come back and try to get all of the objectives later anyways
  • HUH okay I wasn’t expecting this, although I am suspicious
  • Well this is totally heartbreaking
  • Terra: I’LL KICK MY OWN ASS TOO, AQUA
  • Well that sure was a thing that happened
  • Oh heeey, WHO’S THE LEADER OF THE CLUB THAT’S MADE FOR YOU AND ME~
  • Man am I glad Mickey was here, because I still really suck against those Wave O’ Heartless
  • HUH so that does explain how Mickey ended up there in KH1
  • Wait Aqua how do you know that phrase?
  • OMG those Heartless are ADORABLE they’re like giant horrible Zigzagoons
  • Well there’s a brilliant light ahead and the music’s died down so I assume that’s where I need to go
  • OH no we’re at Destiny Islands now
  • YES YOU TWO PUT SOME PIECES TOGETHER ALREADY
  • Holy hot DAMN that was a fukkin kickass boss battle with some awesome music
  • Like even though I was not doing well through it because I still am not sure on the strategy of the demon waves I DIDN’T CARE BECAUSE IT WAS FRIGGIN COOL
  • Like dang son what was that boss battle music, I need it
  • GOOD JOB ON THAT BOSS BATTLE SQUEENIX THAT WAS A COOL EXPERIENCE
  • OH SO the dark realm Keyblade was just behind that door the whole time OKAY THEN
  • Good thing we got teleported to right where we needed to be
  • Mickey: Let me just fix that retcon here…okay good
  • HAHA OMG THEY JUST MAGICKED HIS KINGS CLOTHES OFF
  • FIIIIIX EVERY RETCOOOON, BRIIIIDGE EVERY PLOT POOOOINT
  • OH well that was neat. And explains why Aqua wasn’t there with Riku and Mickey at that point
  • So Destiny Islands and all the rest of the worlds get restored but POOR AQUA GETS LEFT BEHIND
  • Please first order of business in KH3 go find this poor woman
  • HUH that is…wait you’re just stopping the cutscene right there?!!
  • THAT’S A DANG GOOD QUESTION RIKU
  • Yen Sid: Well obviously if we had let you in on this backstory all of you would’ve done something really stupid
  • FINALLY Kairi gets some friggin speaking lines!
  • YES YES YES KAIRI AND LEA TRAINING TOGETHER GIVE ME THIS
  • Man even more mysterious suitcases
  • THESE TWO GUYS SO FKKIN CUTE
  • AHHHH MY SON THE TRINITY NO I H AVE MISSED THEM
  • Yen Sid: And we’re setting up early why in KH3 you’ll be starting from level 1 and no abilities YET AGAIN
  • I see you hanging that lampshade there, Sora
  • THESE FRIGGIN DOOF CUTIES I SWEAR
  • I LOVE THEM
  • Okay so! That’s the end for Fragmentary Passage!
  • SO WHEN ARE WE GETTING KH3 AGAIN?

chittaporno  asked:

hi frand. I took the day off yesterday to reflect and cleanse myself from all the nasty thoughts since its Ten's birthday. Its a new day, i am pure and i'm ready to sin again. Where my Jeffreys at

🙄🙄🙄 you’re the worst but as long as you know you love Ten the most then it’s all good I guess… 

meme jeff

dimple jeff

nasty jeff (you get this again bc sweaty jeff is ಥ_ಥ  this pic has a special place in my heArt) 

anonymous asked:

HOLY SHIZ JUNGKOOK FINALLY RELEASED THE COVER?! I DON'T THINK MY HEART IS READY 😭

YES omg me too ;^; Yesterday I was thinking about when he was going to release the cover~ I’m so glad he did!!

Whiskey & Broken Hearts - Epilogue

So, this is it!! The end of Whiskey & Broken Hearts is finally here. I’m sorry it took so long, but I was both busy and I honestly wasn’t ready to let it go. But now the time has come, and I really hope that you all like how it ends. Thank all of you guys who have read and enjoyed it. You honestly have no idea just how much it means to me, knowing that you all enjoyed reading this. I worked so hard on all 6 installments of this series, and your support & enjoyment has meant the world. So, thank you. From the bottom of my heart!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Yes talk about your crush!!

oh god hope ur ready for a book!

ok his name is Evan (he’s in AA w me) & he’s kinda a lot older than me but he makes my heart feel so warm & when I look at him I feel the way I’ve only felt for one other person (the only person I think I’ve ever been in love with tbh) & that boy shattered my heart & so it scares me but its so nice to feel like this again bc I never thought I would!! He has like the most amazing jawline I’ve ever seen & this smile that’s so wide & bright it makes my heart jump in my chest. & I think he may feel something for me of some sort but I’m not sure???? Like I catch him staring at me a lot, just as much as I stare at him probably lmao but idk if that even means anything, I’m too shy to talk to him but I want to so bad :( he just seems so kind & he’s so funny & charismatic & he’s so cute he always takes off his shoes & crosses his legs when the meetings start. I just want him to love me basically

Today is the day. Half of my life will be sold over to another owner. My mom started her very own Mental Health agency almost 13 years ago. On her own. Started with 12 employees and now has 300 and five offices. This business has been like my home. A piece of my heart. All four of her kids have worked there. Cousins. Aunts. Both parents. The employees are like our family… and today it will no longer be ours. It’s a good thing, a very good thing. My mom is ready to retire and will continue helping those connected with sex trafficking. She’s ready to let it go and move on. For some reason I’m having a really hard time accepting it and I’m not sure why. It’s half my life. It’s a good thing and it will continue to thrive in my moms honor. I’m proud of her and all of her amazing accomplishments. Being one of the most well known agencies in the state of Idaho, she’s succeeded. She’s my hero.

Today is a bittersweet day for my heart. For my families hearts..

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Doyoung “mom” protecting the kids 24/7  👨‍👦👦   

My fellow Americans, it has been the honor of my life to serve you. I won’t stop; in fact, I will be right there with you, as a citizen, for all my days that remain. For now, whether you’re young or young at heart, I do have one final ask of you as your President - the same thing I asked when you took a chance on me eight years ago.

I am asking you to believe. Not in my ability to bring about change - but in yours. I am asking you to hold fast to that faith written into our founding documents; that idea whispered by slaves and abolitionists; that spirit sung by immigrants and homesteaders and those who marched for justice; that creed reaffirmed by those who planted flags from foreign battlefields to the surface of the moon; a creed at the core of every American whose story is not yet written:

Yes We Can. Yes We Did. Yes We Can.

—  Barack Obama in his Farewell Address
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EVERYTHING DEPENDS ON THIS. SEND IT BACK STEVEN

(A copyable version of the chain text is under the cut. Annoy your friends!)

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