i was reading this for jason and then... no stop

The Wayne Family Reads Mean Tweets

Bruce
@jtodd: Bruce Wayne could stand to lose a few pounds and stop eating his kids cookies

@tdrake: Does @BruceWayne adopt children or collect them?

@therealwayneheir: Everytime I turn around Bruce Wayne has a new kid, does he not love his real son?

@FlyingDick: BRUCE WAYNE IS MEAN

@hackerbabs: Last week at a gala @BruceWayne frantically asked Commissioner Gordon to borrow his handcuffs then disappeared for the rest of the night #50shadesofwayne

@lukefoxxx: Bruce Wayne has the IQ of a grilled cheese sandwich

Bruce sighs.

Dick
@tdrake: I’m pretty sure that @FlyingDick gave as much thought to his Twitter handle as he did to that mullet he had a few years back.

@RadicalRebel: Dick Grayson looks like the kind of guy you want to be friends with until you meet him.

@teatam: I once saw Dick Grayson date 5 different redheads in one week #easyD #gingeraddict

Tim
@jtodd: I want to punch Tim Drake-Wayne in his man bun wearing head.

@Coffeecollective: Tim Drake Wayne looks like death warmed over in a Kerig #Idstilldrinkhim #takeafuckinsipbabes

@therealwayneheir: If I could push Tim Drake down the stairs and get away with it, I would. In fact I still might.

@inaflash: Tim Drake looks like the last time he slept was roughly 40 years ago. #getsomesleep

Tim looks over his shoulder, “Steph why are you here you’re not a Wayne.”

"NEITHER ARE YOU! Let me read a tweet”

@SpoilerAlert: I bet Tim Drake is the kind of guy you want to date and then he turns out to be the wooorst and like falls asleep during a date while on a ferris wheel

“Wow, that’s not specific at all…”

Cassandra
@stayoutofgotham: Cassandra Cain looks like she could kill me with her pinky toe… and I’d let her.

@SpoilerAlert: One time Cass Cain kicked my ass. It was hot.

@MetropolisRulez: I’m pretty sure Cassandra Cain is a stuck up bitch. Have you ever seen her smile at anyone outside her family.

Cass looks directly into the camera and flips it off with a big smile on her face. Bruce comes in and turns the camera away from her. You can hear him saying “Dick why did you convince me this was a good idea? Damian’s taking his knives out and Cass is too good for this.”

Jason
@xmenrock: Jason Todd looks like he got beat up in high school and then put on 50 pounds of muscle to compensate

@MrJay: Didn’t Jason Todd die? Can we make that happen again?

@tdrake: Jason Todd’s thighs™

Wait… Tim Tweeted that?

@harpersarrow: I’d let Jason Todd smother me with his thick ass thighs. #thickthighssavelives

Jason winks

Damian
@tdrake: Damian Wayne looks like his name sake from The Omen. Like did Bruce Wayne know his son was gonna be a psychopath?

@jtodd: Damian Wayne doesn’t lift #youresmallbro

@itsduke: Damian Wayne must take after his dad, except instead of people he collects animals… since people can’t stand to be around him

 Bruce comes into the studio and hauls Damian over his shoulder. You can hear Jason say, “Wow you really are small D, do you even lift?”

Written with the help of the always amazing @smokesforwolves

Batmom Senses - Batmom x Batfam

A/N: This is the first of five prompts voted on for the 2.5k follower celebration!

Prompt: Can I request one where Batmom sends the batboys texts to mother them -and sometimes to mess with them by sending something like ‘No’ or ‘I know what you’re doing’ at random, not knowing it usual hits the mark and makes them wonder if she’s psychic?

Tonight’s the night, Dick’s sure of it. He had everything planned out down to the last detail and tonight was going to be perfect for both of them, he was sure of it. He was a grown man, this certainly wasn’t his first time making love to the person he loved so why did he feel so nervous?

Dick was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He unlocked the screen to see that he had just received a text from his mom.

‘Use protection.’ Was all it read.

How?’ He typed back. His mom had a special knack for knowing when her sons were up to know good, call it a ‘mom sense’ if you will. But even by her standards this was uncanny.

I think you know how to use protection. I’m too young to be a grandmother Richard Grayson. Use it.


“Oh yes.” Jason grinned spotting a freshly iced cake on top of the counter. He looked around the kitchen to see if anyone was around before he grabbed a fork from inside the utensil drawer. He plopped himself down on one of the kitchen island stools and pulled the cake to him. He had his fork poised in the air, ready to dig in, when his phone buzzed on the counter.

Jason sighed and dropped the fork to open up the message. It was a text from Ma reading:

Stop what you’re doing right now and ask yourself if I’d approve. If the answer is no, don’t do it.

“God damn it.” Jason groaned, tossing the fork back into the drawer and walking as far away from that cursed cake as possible. “I never get anything in this fucking family.” He grumbled.


Tim had been up for four days now. He was busy working on a case and he couldn’t pull himself away from it until he saw this through. But even he was human and needed a bit of liquid assistance to keep him going. At this point coffee wasn’t really doing the trick so he went to his back up plan.

Tim pulled out a Monster energy drink from his fridge and twisted the cap off of a Five Hour Energy. He was about ready to pour the tiny bottle into the can when his phone chirped, signaling an incoming text message.

It was a text from mom:

Timothy Jackson Drake. Bed. Now.

Tim gave one last glance to his heart-failure-in-a-can and pushed it away from him before turning on his heel and immediately walked to his bedroom. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.


“I’m going to name you Drake.” Damian said gently patting the little piglet’s head. Damian had found the poor thing caught in a storm drain and he couldn’t just leave him there. He sure as hell wasn’t going to give the piglet back to whoever had abandoned it in this situation. Damian just knew Drake would be best friends with Batcow.

Damian stopped showering the piglet with attention when he felt his phone vibrate in his belt. He pulled it out and pouted at the message.

No.

How could she possibly know? He hadn’t even asked to adopt his new friend yet!

“-Tt-” Damian frowned. “Come on Drake! She’ll change her mind when she sees you.” Damian said defiantly, swaddling the piglet in his cape to keep him safe and warm before making his way home.

anonymous asked:

Could you write a sterek fic where stiles and Derek are best friends who are pining for each other and stiles has a kid and Derek is like a father to the kid and the kid sees him that way and that kinda inspires stiles to make a move? :)

Hi, I hope you’re still following me, this ask is a hundred years old but I wrote it. I’m sorry, I’m trash! Kisses :**

-

It wasn’t supposed to go like this. Jason just wanted to have a good time with his friends, it was hard enough to convince his dad that he wouldn’t drink more than two beers, and then someone decided to light up fucking fireworks inside Mrs. Evans barn.

“I didn’t think the hay would burn!” Chris cries out and Jason wants to shove a chemistry book on his face.

His dad is never going to let him go out again.

“Oh no.” Alicia groans as the first firetruck comes into view followed closely by a police car.

Shit.

“I was never here!” Jason whispers, hiding behind Luke as soon as Derek steps out of the truck.

“Is there anyone else inside?” All his friends shake their heads and Derek nods, walking towards the burning building. “Erica, go to the back with Isaac. Boyd, you’re with me.” He orders his partners, then turns and stares straight at Luke. “I can see you, Jason.”

“Shit.” Jason mutters. He’s so fucked.


“Is there any chance you won’t tell my dad?” Jason asks, shivering under the jacket Derek gave him. Derek snorts and mutters something that sounds a lot like ‘keep dreaming’. “Please? I can wash your car every week for the rest of my life.”

“You’re going to do that any way.” Derek says. And he’s right, Jason loves Derek’s Camaro. He caresses the leather seat distractedly, looks out the window, his dad is going to be so disappointed. He hates seeing his disappointed face.

When Derek grabbed his shoulder once the fire was completely extinguished and guided him towards the firetruck, Jason thought he was safe. Derek is nice, he’s his godfather, he gave Jason his first beer, talked to him about safe sex after dad freaked out when Jason said he’d been watching porn since he was thirteen. Derek is cool.

Or he was because once they arrived at the station, he practically shoved Jason inside his car, saying he’d drive him home to help his dad kill him. Derek is not his favorite anymore.

“Did you tell him yet?” Jason asks as Derek parks in front of his house.

“No.” Derek answers, turning the engine off. “He’d freak out.” Jason nods, being the only child of a single parent has its ups, but it also has its downs. “Come on,” Derek squeezes his shoulder, “like a band-aid, right?”

“I don’t wanna hurt him.” Jason looks down at his hands. “Chris didn’t do it on purpose, and I – I thought we were only going to have a good time.”

“I know.” Derek says. “It was an accident, it happens. But it doesn’t mean that we won’t worry. We care about you.” When Jason looks up, Derek smiles softly before pulling him into a hug. “I changed your diapers. Unfortunately,” he adds, making Jason snort against his shoulder, “and I taught you how to play baseball. I was there when you broke your arm but sometimes I won’t be, and your dad won’t be either.” Jason sniffs, holds Derek’s shirt with both hands. “But we will always care about you.” Jason nods and they stay like that for a while. 

Okay, Derek really is his favorite.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Jason and Tim arguing over who had it worse when it came to living up to their predecessor's legacy

‘All I’m saying is… I was living in the shadow of a dead boy.’

Jason looked up from his book with a scowl, turning the page a bit more roughly than he had meant to. He and Tim had been holding their own pity party of “who had it worse” as Robin when it came to living up to their predecessor’s legacy. Jason had made some comment about “back in my days as Robin”, and Tim had had enough self-respect to become offended. And as a consequence, Jason had only gotten through five pages and was tempted to just give up reading altogether. 

Truth be told, he knew that Tim probably had it much worse than him, when it came to this specific issue. And he was only arguing with him because he knew how much arguing for the sake of arguing annoyed his brother. 

But then again, the only thing Tim really had to do in order to surpass his predecessor, was not die… so Jason stuck to his guns. He set his book down and leaned forward, giving Tim his best “I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are” look. 

‘Tim. Firstly, I’m a bit offended at being called a, quote unquote, “dead boy”…’

Tim frowned. ‘You call yourself a dead boy all the-’

‘-And secondly,’ Jason interrupted him cooly, ‘My standards were far, faaaar lower than Dick’s. To live up to my predecessor’s legacy meant being a perfect, obedient, chirpy, quipping, circus act, which was not happening in a million years unless global warming wasn’t a thing and hell froze over, giving us another ice age. You, on the other hand, just had to not do any of the things I did.’

Tim pursed his lips, sitting there in silence as he regarded Jason with a look of complete and utter exasperation. 

‘So…’ he said slowly, enunciating every word, ‘not die.’

Jason nodded, rolling his eyes. ‘Yeah. Like I said. Lower standards.’

Tim sighed, massaging his forehead as he turned back to his laptop, tapping the keys distractedly. ‘Okay. But consider this: in order to not die, I actually had to achieve a standard of near-perfection as Robin that not even you or Dick were expected or pressured to reach.’

‘Okay,’ Jason countered. ‘But consider this: in Bruce’s eyes, none of us are ever good enough.’

‘So your point is, we’ve all had it bad and it’s pointless to try and decide who had it worst because we all had a common denominator and standard to live up to: Bruce.’

Jason shrugged and lay on his back on the sofa, opening the book again. 

‘Even Bruce doesn’t live up to Bruce’s standards, so yes. It’s fucked up and we were all screwed from the start.’

‘Oh boy. That went south real quick.’

‘So wait, when I go off on Bruce, it’s too far. But when we’re talking about when I was a “dead boy” it’s all fine and dandy?’

‘All the time, Jason,’ Tim repeated without looking up from his laptop, his voice bland. ‘All. The. Time.’

Unable to think of a reasonable response or blatant lie, Jason scoffed and stood to find somewhere he could read in peace and not get his ear talked off or, god forbid, counselled by his younger brother.

‘Well, you try dying and see if you can stop talking about it. It’s a life-altering event, a real milestone.’

‘It’s also only meant to happen once,’ Tim said pointedly.

Jason paused to consider this. ‘Hold up. So, technically, Damian has already lived up to the standard I set as Robin because he also died and came back. Grayson had to fake it, so he’s disqualified… and we’re not counting Steph because she was never even given a chance, and would beat all our asses in the ‘who had it worst’ game.’

‘Which means I do have it worse than you, because the standard I now have to live up to is resurrection.’

‘WWJD, Timbo,’ he grinned, finger-gunning his brother as he walked backwards out the door. ‘”What Would Jason Do?”’

‘Die and come back a salty gun enthusiast,’ Tim muttered under his breath, mulling over their conversation and taking it more seriously than he should. ‘Also, Easter was last month.’

when dick was robin and batman was still considered to be mostly this elusive myth, dick absolutely started a conspiracy youtube account whose sole purpose was to post #BatmanConfirmed!! videos, that were just really bad minute-long mystery montages of grainy pictures of shadows outlined with red ms paint lines and arrows — “teh batman was here!!!” and “indisputable proof of batman’s exercisetense!” videos that were immensely popular bc dick is an asshole at heart and usually the grainy photos would actually have batman and robin in them reflected in glass or in pools of water or something equally as frustrating and hidden. and so even when batman actually was #confirmed, the TheTruthIsBatthere account had reached infamy so that even 30 second videos of smog reached thousands of views because a bat-ear could barely be seen in the corner sorta

and like the robin legacy, dick totally passed down the account, so that each robin attempted to outdo the others by getting the most views on their videos. jason’s “this is how i die” video was of him actually falling off a building, laughing like a maniac, and ended with a black gauntlet hand forcibly moving the lens of the camera away and a black smudge saving robin from falling to his death. tim’s was filmed like a crappy noir film, all in black and white with a bad orchestral song in the background, with, in the distance, vaguely, batman and robin jumping from roof to roof, doing sweet flips and looking appropriately cool and mysterious. stephanie, for the short time she had the account, just straight up gave the camera to a criminal mid-patrol and then proceeded to beat the crap out of them, the camera skidding far away and only catching her boots and sweet kicks. damian, petty as fuck, refusing to be second best at anything, ever, somehow convinced dick (read: casually mentioned in passing, to which dick enthusiastically agreed) to film him say, deadpan, in the Batman Voice in full Batman Gear, “i am the night.” all the robins (sans dick, who thinks it’s hilarious) hate him and say it’s cheating. the video has over a three million views, handidly more than any other video on the TheTruthIsBatthere account. bruce is just done with his kids and wants league members to stop bringing the video up in meetings, it wasn’t even him…

@whore4batfam mentioned that Jason would have missed out on Disney movies, and I couldn’t let that pass, so, it is 12:16 AM and here we are.

Damian finally finds him sprawled on one of the many, many couches that decorate Wayne Manor. There’s a book he’s probably read a hundred times in one of his hands, the other occupied with spooning Dick’s stolen cereal into his mouth. 

“Todd.”

The spoon stops halfway to his mouth and there’s a guilty smile on his face, betrayed by the mischief in his eyes.

“Don’t tell Dick.”

“Do me a favor and I will not.”

Jason seems to ponder that for a second before shrugging, “Shoot.”

Damian clears his throat, suddenly unsure of how to approach the topic before deciding to simply get straight to the point.

“Todd, certainly you’ve noticed that the rest of endless band of children Father seems to be adopting,” he receives a raised eyebrow and an amused smile for that, “are prone to making…references.”

Jason’s eyebrow arcs higher and Damian is left to question the limits of the human anatomy.

“You’re gonna have to be a bit more specific, shorty.”

Damian thought back, “…Last week, when we were in the cave and Father had just finished outlining the mission. He said ‘Let’s get down to business,’ and Brown and Grayson simultaneously screeched, ‘To defeat the Huns.’ Father had the same look he had on his face when he caught you and Cain trying to see how many of his ties you could hide in odd places before he noticed.”

Jason laughs aloud at that, looking extremely proud of himself, “Yeah, that was a good one.”

Damian raises his eyebrow, though somehow he doubts it has the same effect his older brother’s seems to have.

“Anyways, they’re referencing Disney movies, I think. I asked Tim about it once and he more or less told me that Dick and Steph have a cult like obsession with colorful children’s movies featuring catchy songs, talking animals, and overdramatic villains.”

“You’ve never seen them?” Damian asks, confused. He would have thought Jason would have enjoyed something like that.

“Wasn’t around when they came out,” Jason says, flippantly enough that Damian almost misses it.

Wasn’t aroun-oh.

Oh.

Suddenly, Damian feels like the largest idiot in the world. How could he not have had the foresight to maybe, ask one of the siblings that had used the references in the first place, why hadn’t he connected the dots-

“Stop thinking so hard, baby bat.”

When had Jason gotten up?

“I, um-”

He’s cut off when Jason tousles his hair, a casual smile on his lips. The young bird is too stunned to protest. Instead, he looks up at his brother and does what he’s always done best. He observes. There are bags under Jason’s eyes, a fading bruise on his shoulder, his hair is wet, and something about him is so, so tired.

“Todd?”

“Yeah, Dami?”

“Get some sleep.”

Jason chuckles as he walks towards the stairs, Damian quietly putting his cereal bowl in the sink and picking up his(Jason’s) book to take his place on the couch. Now to wait for Tim.


“Drake.”

Tim looks up, certainly not surprised at being accosted within seconds of walking through the front door. The look on Damian’s face is one of determination; he will not stop until his objective is reached. Tim sighs.

“At least let me take off my shoes.”


“So let me get this straight. You asked Jason about Disney movies, only to find out he was…gone when they came out, felt horrible, and now you want to watch them with him, but are hindered by the lack of your ability to Internet?”

Damian wishes Barbara was visiting.

But then Tim breaks into a smile and there’s something incredibly…tender about it. Damian thinks this won’t be too bad after all.


“Todd.”

Jason looks up. It’s been a day or so since Damian had inquired about one of their siblings’ many strange habits. He supposes he should have been more subtle about the whole thing, but what else was he supposed to say? ‘Oh yeah, sorry Damian, I didn’t see Mulan because my corpse was being submerged in the Lazarus Pit?’

He had, however, taken his younger brother’s advice in getting some rest. In fact, he had just woken up from a particularly nice nap, and had been planning to go and hunt for Dick’s last cereal box. Thieving aside, he waits for Damian to speak, seeing the boy looking expectant.

All he receives for his patience is a ‘follow me.’

Sighing dramatically and ignoring Damian’s ‘Tt,’ Jason drags himself from the covers and straggles after his brother, curious as to what his intentions may be.

Upon arriving in the same room Damian had found him in the day prior, Jason is, to say the least, confused. Moreover, he finds, he won’t have to go on a cereal-thieving scavenger hunt, as it’s already sitting on the coffee table in one of Alfred’s less precious ceramic bowls.

“Damian? What’s going on?”

Said preteen defender of Gotham and his Honor(Jason may not have been around for Disney, but he and Dick had sure as hell marathoned Avatar at least eight times), was struggling with what looked to Jason like an HDMI cable. Succeeding in connecting it, Damian fiddled with Tim’s laptop for a few seconds before setting it down carefully and practically tackling Jason to the couch.

Surprised, Jason yelped as they tussled on the couch, turning his head to the screen just as a soothing jingle played, accompanied by a graphic of a blue castle and the word, ‘Disney’ written in a circular font.

“…Damian?” He looks over to the smaller body sprawled against him to see him looking away, ears turning red.

“..I wanted you to watch them. I wanted to watch them with you.”

Jason stares for a moment before a soft smile overtook his features. 

“Okay,” he says, and settles down against the armrest, grabbing a handful of cereal and leaning against his baby brother as ‘The Little Mermaid’ appeared on screen.


Dick drops by the Manor to find his cereal on the floor and two of his siblings locked in a fierce argument.

“Mulan was clearly the best, she literally defied all gender stereotypes and learned how to fight as well as Li Shang in like, three days. Also bonus points for talking dragon and grade A catchy songs.”

“Ridiculous, Todd, Aladdin was obviously superior. The poor street thief with a heart of gold and the rebellious, self-aware princess? Not to mention the flying carpet, genie, and quality displays of villainy.”

They’re interrupted by a devastated scream, the two boys at last becoming aware of Dick’s presence.

“Dickie.”

“Grayson.”

Dick gazes up at them with a look of incredulous horror, “How could you?!”

Jason blinks. Damian stares.

How could you do this to my cereal, you heathens?!

Two pairs of eyes land on the mess of sugary breakfast food scattered on the carpet.

Shit.” That’s Jason.

“Thank you, Jay, for reali-”

Did we break Alfie’s bowl?!

Damian pales, vaulting neatly over the coffee table to search for the ceramic piece that could spell their doom. Dick is forced to watch as his two brothers scramble about the room, ignoring the remains of their pilfered meal on the floor. 

“Found it!”

Jason triumphantly holds up the bowl, chipped slightly, but still in one piece.

Dick wants to know why it was behind the couch.

Unfortunately, the other two residents of the Living Room of Horrors seem content to set the bowl to the side and resume their places on the couch, resuming where they’d left off in ‘Snow White’, having broken into an argument when Damian voiced his preference of Aladdin.

“I hate you both,” Dick, about to storm out of the room, is interrupted by Cass’ entrance to it. She looks to the screen, currently displaying the seven dwarves, before picking a piece of cereal off the ground and popping it in her mouth. Dick’s horrified expression goes unnoticed as she goes to squish Jason’s cheeks.

“Dopey.”

He sticks his tongue out and she replies in kind, before moving to Damian’s other side and cuddling him, the youngest of them content to be sandwiched between his brother and sister. 


“Dick, why are you calling me, it’s 4 pm on a Saturday I would like to be not awake right now.”

“Steph, I can never watch ‘Snow White’ again.”

The Literature Incident

Jason prided himself in being a man of great literary tastes.

Therefore, this had to be done.

“What the hell are you doing, Todd?”

Jason hesitated for a mere second before continuing to pull books from Damian’s personal bookshelves. “Doing what needs to be done. Look at this!” he cried dramatically, but with a hint of anger. “Aristotle? Plato?!”

Damian’s brows furrowed into a pout and he walked further into his room. “What is wrong with Plato and Aristotle? They were both respected and brilliant philosophers-,”

“In ancient Greece!” the older brother turned and almost slammed the thick volumes on the table behind him before whirling around and resuming his job, almost hellbent now. “No modern literature!”

“Well, I don’t generally find the concept of dystopian futures and ridiculous love triangles to be very appealing, Todd, so no-,”

“You haven’t even gotten any Romantics!” Jason threw his hands in the air, sounding offended. “How on earth do you not have any Romantics?!”

Damian’s frown deepened and he stepped closer, picking up one of the discarded books and running his hand over the cover. “I read Frankenstein, Todd, and honestly, why is it that much of a concern to you-,”

Frankenstein is Gothic you brat.” The man snapped, throwing more books onto the table in exasperation. His expression turned sour when he returned to the shelves before him, hand skimming down three whole rows with a scowl. “Shakespeare. More Shakespeare.”

“I will have you know, Todd, that William Shakespeare was a brilliant author and you have no right to disrespect him in such a manner!” the 13-year-old barely caught the 2 special edition sonnet books that Jason tossed backward before they flew across the room. “He is-,”

“And, oh look! More Shakespeare!” Jason interrupted again, earning a grumpy huff from his younger sibling.

“I like the wordsmith.” Damian rolled his eyes and gently, almost lovingly, placed the thin novels on the table with the others. He looked up to find Jason grabbing several more volumes into his arms and looking over the next few rows.

“Read some goddamn Thoreau, you literary piece of shit.” He snapped, eyebrows furrowing in disgust. “Better yet, Hemingway. Anthony Burgess, that’s some weird shit. You’d probably like that.”

The boy sighed, stomping up next to his older brother and placing his arms outstretched. “Give me back my Shakespeare, Todd.”

“Are these History books?!” Jason asked, voice going up an octave in disbelief.

“Yes, I-,”

“You read these for leisure?!” He sounded on the verge of a breakdown.

Damian crossed his arms. “Mother has always taught me to know the valuable knowledge of this world, and that includes their history.”

Jason slowly turned his head towards his little brother, eyes narrowed in anger. He growled; He would not have his little brother so unexposed to good literature! Talia had brainwashed him with all this non-fiction stuff, he needed some good fantasy! “Your mother is a monster!”

Damian rolled his eyes again. “I do believe that has been greatly accepted in this family, Todd, but this is the first time I am hearing it being used to insult my knowledge of “modern” literature.”

“You have 5 copies of Dracula?!” Jason slammed the Shakespeare novels on Damian’s bed and shuffled through the books with vigor. Suddenly, he drew away and cast a glance to his little brother. “You’ve read Jane Eyre?”

His green eyes became unamused. “Once. Never again.”

The Great Gatsby, The Odyssey, the Tale of Two Cities, Sherlock Holmes, Charles Dickens, The Art of War?!” Jason scoffed, throwing his hands in the air. “All of these classics!”

“I thought you liked classical literature, Todd,” Damian said pointedly. “Father told me that when you were a child you greatly enjoyed the times when he or Pennyworth would read them to you. Why are you so upset about me having them?”

“I am not upset that you have them, Short Stop.” He hissed. “I am upset that you have them and not other books!”

“What other books, Todd?”

Jason was appalled. He knew that Damian had been raised with a bit of a traditional childhood, but he didn’t know that it was this severe.

Gesturing to the bookshelves, he almost shouted, “Harry Potter! Percy Jackson! Some Narnia maybe?”

“Narnia is not a modern series, Todd,” Damian added with another eye roll. “It was written by C. S. Lewis in the 1940’s and was-,”

“More modern than these!” Jason interrupted. His eyes raked over the last few books in Damian’s collection and his heart puttered to a stop. Realization hit him and he turned, ever so slowly, almost without breathing, and whispered. “Tolkien.”

The newly teen raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“WHERE THE FUCK IS TOLKIEN?”

“Are those the books that you were so enthusiastic about as a child-,”

“HOW THE EVERLIVING FUCK CAN YOU NOT HAVE TOLKIEN?”

“I do believe that you are overreacting, Todd. They’re merely books.”

Jason froze, completely, arms outstretched in anger and eyes wide.

Merely books.

Merely books?

How dare he.

“We’re going to the bookstore,” Jason stated, grabbing Damian’s hand and dragging him towards the door. “We are going to fix this atrocious disaster and then I am going to piss on your mother’s grave. Come on.”

“Todd-what- let go of me!”

“WE ARE GOING TO FIX YOU, DAMMIT!”

“Todd, unhand me this instant!”

“YOU HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT GANDALF! AND FARAMIR! AND SAM! YOU CAN’T GET A SINGLE DAY OLDER WITHOUT KNOWING ABOUT SAMWISE FUCKING GAMGEE!”

Damian will never admit it, but later that night, when he is seated in front of Todd, cross-legged and quiet as Jason reads The Fellowship of the Ring to him, using all different types of accent for the many different characters, he hasn’t been happier all week.

 

Whore4batfam posted a little thing a while ago about Jason sorting through Damian’s books and I just couldn’t help myself. They’re idea, my little ficlet thing!

http://whore4batfam.tumblr.com/post/147613631620

Unknown Girl

Originally posted by lovershub

Jason Todd x Reader

Request:Can I request one where the reader and Jason are together but his family didn’t know so when they come up to his room and find him asleep with her cuddling they’re all really confused because he isn’t the cuddling type. And then when they wake up she meets them and stuff and a few of them say unusual things and Jason is just a little embarrassed and it’s fluffy with implied nsfw?

Word Count: 927


It was twelve o’clock in the afternoon; Bruce, Damian, Tim, and Dick were all in the kitchen waiting for Jason as they made lunch for themselves. Usually he was already up by now but for some reason he wasn’t. They knew he was still asleep because his bike was still in the bat cave.

Damian got up from his seat, “I’m gonna go see if Jason’s up.” He told them as he walked out.

He began to walk up the stairs to Jason’s room; it wasn’t long before he was in front of his door. Without knocking he began to open the door quietly, when the door was opened all the way, Damian looked in and let out a small gasp when he looked at the bed. Quickly he shut the door making sure not to slam it and rushed back to the kitchen.

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anonymous asked:

Please do #39 for SolAngelo. Imagine this, Nico realizing he loves Will and freaking out because he's not good with trusting people. Then, the 7 (plus Reyna) try to pry it out of him how he's feeling and he panics and says bad things about Will, just to realize he was there listening. "How Long Have You Been Standing There?" "Long Enough" *cue heartbreak and Nico's redemption arc*

Nico di Angelo was scared. The king of ghosts, under world prince, emits a horde of the undead with a sneeze, was scared. He was scared because of one boy.

Will Solace.

Nico was scared because Will wasn’t like any other boy he had met. He was sweet, funny, he seemed to honestly care about Nico. He had this light to him when he walked, like he knew people were watching him, but he didn’t care. Nico wished he didn’t have to care, he wished he could trust people. That’s why he was scared.

Nico couldn’t trust anyone. Will probably was just a facade, like everyone else. The light was a fake, Will was just trying to lure Nico in when he smiled at the boy. That must be it.

But the pang in Nico’s chest wasn’t fake. It was very very real.

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Batfamily x Reader - Warrior (Pt 1)

TRIGGER WARNING: BLOOD, SUICIDE

Requested: no

Song: none

Word Count: 1471

MASTERLIST


It was humid and dark outside around 3:30 am at Wayne manor, no stars shown through the thick clouds and smog. You would think that when it’s humid, the air would smell fresh and clean, but not here. The air smelled stale and compressed, like it was trying to suffocate you, but didn’t put in enough effort to actually succeed.

The house was quiet and dark, empty and silent. The halls were eerily quiet and no shadows were cast on the walls because the moon was buried deep behind the seemingly millions of layers of smoke. It was pitch black and silent, except for one room. The light in your bathroom was on and barely audible cries came out muffled through your hands as you sat on the floor next to the sink.

A razor covered in thick, red, fresh, blood sat in the sink along with all of your soul, poured out of your body with your blood, as well as your will to live, and by the bottle of pills spilled all over the floor, you already knew this, yet the house stayed silent, as if it was holding its breath, awaiting your next move.

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anonymous asked:

okay, but imagine any slasher making a serious phone call, and like, one of them (probably chucky) shouts "PASS THE WEED!!!" and like, everyone else joins in by doing stuff like shouting "oh baby, dont stop!" and other shit , finally they hang up and stare angrily at them all (i know its weird im sorry)

For some reason Jason was the first one I thought about as soon as I read this. Poor guy.

Jason Todd/ Red Hood X Reader- Stalker From Another Universe (Part 3)

I’m so sorry for not posting!! A lot of stuff has been going on, but I’m back!!

Part 1                  Part 2


“I wonder if I’m showing up in a comic book right now,” you said, staring out the apartment window.  “That would be pretty cool.”

Jason laughed and joined you by the window, “Yeah, but how would they draw you?  From what I’ve heard, you don’t like all of the styles they draw me in.”

You nodded, “It’s probably the dude that’s in charge of drawing Red Hood and The Outlaws.”

“He does get my good side,” he joked.

You snorted and nodded once again, your focus still on the beautiful horizon of Gotham.  It had been two months since you magically appeared in Jason’s apartment, freaking both him and you out.  After that fiasco, he called Roy to help you adjust to the weird universe you might be stuck in.  None of the members of the Justice League called Jason to tell him they figured out how to send you back home, and you were starting to lose hope.  It wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy spending time with Jason and Roy, but you worried for you family and friends.  You worried that they might think you were kidnapped, killed or even sold in human trafficking.  You shuddered at the thought.

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Daddy Dearest (Jason Todd x Reader)

Request: “Request for Jason Todd being your daddy ;)” from anon.

A/N: Hell sounds like a great place to live right now. JASON IS DOMINANT AF IN HERE!!!! SO DOMINANT!!! DOMINANT™!!!! ANON I’M SO SORRY IF THIS IS TOO DIRTY FOR YOU!!!! 

I LITERALLY READ SOME EROTICA TO HELP ME WRITE THIS!! DX

++WARNINGS: SIIIINNNNN. THIS ISN’T FOR THE WEAK HEARTED!!!! I MEAN FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO THINK YOU NEED TO STOP READING IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS, THEN PLEASE DON’T READ!!! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!!!

NOT TAGGING BECAUSE EVEN I DON’T THINK YOU GUYS WILL BE COMFORTABLE WITH THIS!! AND IF YOU ARE WELL…SHIT….SORRY!! 

~

Jason pushed you off of him, “Fuck, your God damn teeth!”

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Butterfly and the Beanie

Jughead x Reader

An unlikely pairing, that starts with good intentions, but… is it match made in heaven or a match that was just made to burn?

Warnings: Not everything can have a happy ending. (Swearing, Fighting.)

Word count: 3,148

A/N: I just got done watching 13 Reasons Why and feel a bit melodramatic so this happened. I did it more for a storyline and less for cute moments. I hope you all still enjoy it.  I tried first person with this one, please give me feedback on which point of view you like my writing in best: 1st, 2nd, or 3rd. The narrative switches from flashback to current day, hope it’s not too confusing. Ps i’m very proud of this.


I’ve been thinking about those words ever since I walked out of school today.

High School Sweetheart

The definition: Jughead and I.

Or at least, it was.

As I walk home, holding everything in, I try not to think about it, but I can’t help it.

How I met the boy that ruined me in all the best and worst ways.

I met him at the Drive-In, a few weeks after my dad and I moved to Riverdale to start anew in the fall of my freshman year, after my mom passed away, I remember it clear as day.

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  • Tim Drake: I recently read that during World War Two, Joseph Stalin had a research program to create supersoldiers by having women impregnated by gorillas.
  • Dick Grayson: What a sick use of science.
  • Jason Todd: Hey, as long as the baby's healthy.
  • Damian Wayne: I wonder if Stalin considered any other animals.
  • Tim Drake: Hippos are the deadliest creature. A half-human, half-hippo soldier would be pretty badass.
  • Dick Grayson: Yes, but when they're hungry-hungry, you can stop them with marbles.
  • Jason Todd: Yeah, the correct animal for interspecies supersoldier is koala. You would wind up with an army so cute it couldn't be attacked.
Confession.

Hi, thank you for sending in your request and thank you for waiting for me to fill this in! This honestly sounded better in my head lmao but I really do hope this is what you wanted! I hope you enjoy reading this just as much as I had enjoy planning this story in my head!


Jason stops talking, frowning as he stares at your unmoving expression. “What is it now?” He asks exasperatedly, crossing his arms. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Jason grunts, rolling his eyes as he leans against the wall. Feeling angry at you makes him feel exhausted.

You blink a couple of times, opening your mouth and closing it a few times. Every single time you try to form coherent words, you struggle and simply cannot form any so you just end up staring at Jason in disbelief, jaw hanging open slightly.

The frown on Jason’s face deepens. He racks his own brain, trying to figure out what he had told you but he can’t seem to remember anything that stands out the most because Jason had said quite a lot of things to you earlier. Not that you didn’t because the two of you had definitely said quite a lot of words towards each other. In other words, the fight earlier had been a really explosive one.

“What is it?” Jason pushes himself off the wall, taking a step toward you, catching you by surprise. So much so you trip over your two feet, falling back on your ass on the sofa. “What the – are you alright?” He pads over towards the sofa to take a seat beside you. Even though he is still feeling a little bit angry at you, Jason still wants to make sure you are alright and on top of that, he is starting to worry about you – you have been quiet ever since a few minutes ago and Jason still can’t figure out what caused it.

“You said it.” You mumble, finally able to wrap your head around what Jason had all but shouted at you earlier.

Jason raises one of his eyebrows, glancing at you. “Said what? What are you talking about, babe?”

“Earlier,” You turn to face your boyfriend, “You said ‘I love you’.” You point out, starting to feel annoyance bubbling in you.

Jason furrows his eyebrows as he stares at you in confusion. “And?” You look at him in disbelief before you reach to pinch him on the arm, causing Jason to yelp in surprise. “What the hell, babe?”

“You freaking told me you love me, Jay!” You raise your voice and Jason stares at you, the frown on his face deepening and you can see the gears turning in his head. “Jason Peter Todd, you have never said those words to me before.” You smack his arm this time.

Jason winces and furrows his eyebrows. “What? I haven’t? Are you sure?” He reels back to avoid your incoming hand, chuckling as he takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers together with his.

You roll your eyes. “Jason Peter Todd, I swear to God!”

“Babe, come on, the entire block is going to know that you love screaming my name.” Jason says as he pulls you in to his arms, embracing you warmly. “But that aside, seriously though? I have never told you just how much I love you? Like not once?”

You roll your eyes as you turn to face him, wrapping your own arms around his waist. “As if I wouldn’t know if you had told me about your feelings, Jay.” You pout and Jason chuckles before staring straight at you. “Can I hear it again though?”

Jason presses his lips against yours softly. “I am going to say this properly; Y/N, I love seeing you, I love wanting to hold you and feel you in my arms but more importantly, as sappy and cheesy as this sounds, I love the fact that you are my best friend first before you are my girlfriend and I love you very much.” Jason confesses and you smile brightly at him.

Percy Jackson Road Trips

This is how I imagine a road trip with Reyna, Nico, the 7 and Thalia would go:

•Frank having to drive because Annabeth, Thalia, Reyna, and Piper have terrible road rage, Nico and Hazel aren’t old enough, Jason drives like a grandma, and Percy and Leo stop at every attraction they see.

•Frank being terrified of being responsible for nine other lives plus Chirons van.

•Annabeth somehow snatching a seat next to Frank because she has the least amount of trouble reading the maps.

•Leo and Percy playing Pokemon on their DS’s (them arguing over who’s better, Squirtle or Charizard.)

•Reyna and Nico sitting in the way back, playing on their phones (which Leo made monster-proof), reading and ignoring everyone.

•Thalia and Piper taking up the whole second row, shouting profanities at passing drivers.

• Percy and Jason plugging Hazels ears to block out the profanity.

•Annabeth being the worst backseat driver ever, and poor Frank being the victim of it (“No, Frank! You gotta speed up! No not that fast!”)

•Mayhem breaking out when Percy reveals he has his moms blue cookies, everyone fighting over them.

•Hazel being squished in between Jason, Percy and Leo.

•Hazel playing “I Spy” with Jason

•Jason trying to calm everyone down and get them to join in on his and Hazels game.

•Eventually everyone starts singing the American anthem, and Percy keeps bugging Frank to sing along.

•Reyna and Nico just watching the madness.

The Best Day of Your Life

Anon:  Soulmate AU! Where on your fifteenth birthday the name of your soulmate appears above your heart.  With Jaybird please!

A/N:  You have no idea how excited I am for this.  Jay is my true love, and thinking about this request just gives me chills ^.^

(Y/F/S) – Your favorite show

Word Count:  This is hella long.  I have no regrets.  7,087

Warnings:  Language, sexual talk, sexual crap going on (not much detail)  NO SMUT

Also, this is my first reader insert.   So, please, cut me some slack!  And you may notice some similarity to Batman: Under the Red Hood. Well that’s because that is what I was going for.  But I had no way to watch it when I wrote this, so it is definitely different.  Oh well.  Let me know what you think!

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Voices (Jason Todd x Reader)

Request: “34 (the over 200 list) Jason” from @superwhoteen

Prompt: 34) “I don’t deserve to be loved.”

A/N: There’s probably going to be a part two but probably not. idk. that depends on you guys.

BEFORE YOU READ: Alright so I had this idea for a few weeks now and I guess I could write it for this request. The reader was also taken by the Joker with Jason, you and Jason were both together at the time, and Jason found a way to help you escape. After you told Bruce where he was held captive, Joker sent the video of him shooting Jason. You had powers at the time and Joker put you on some type of sedative to stop you from using them, but after what happened to Jason, you lost all your powers completely. This fic is taking place in the Arkham Knight game and you’re taking the place of Babs.

WARNINGS: PEW PEW PEW!! DEAD BODIES!! ANGST™!!??

TAGS: @wynterrobin @wannabe-weasley @queen-of-all-the-fandoms @avengerdragoness @kazuha159 @insideoflit @just-another-fandomite @jxsontxdds @nervouswastelandvoid @romannovas @mjwavson @annoyingtacoart

~

“What the fuck did you just say to me?!” Jason growled.

The militia who kidnapped you all shivered at their bosses tone. They knew what was going to happen next. “Do I have to fucking repeat myself?” Jason asked, voice low and menacing. The robotic voice made it even worse.

“Sh-she was fighting back boss,” one of them finally spoke, “S-so we sprayed some of Scarecrow’s fear toxin.”

Jason punched a hole in a near by wall, “I told you, you shitheads!” He barked, “I told you not to hurt her!”

“We’re sorry! But even though she lost her powers, she’s still strong, boss!”

Jason swiftly took out his gun from its holster and shot the two whimpering men, mentally cursing them to hell. He wanted you safe, unharmed. He didn’t want to see you hurt like that night.

Jason kicked the bodies to the side and made his way to his room where he told the now dead militia to keep you in. He felt a pang in his heart when he found you tied to a chair, screaming his name.

“Jason! Jason!” you cried, “No, please!! Hurt me instead, not him!!”

You were definitely hallucinating. You were reliving the moment back when you and Jason were held captive by the Joker. All you could see was Joker beating your lifeless boyfriend.

“Jason, ” you whimpered, tears spilling down your cheeks, “Jason, please wake up.”

Jason inhaled sharply, trying not to picture what you were seeing. So this is what you feared the most. He walked slowly towards you, taking out the antidote for the fear gas. He stopped in his tracks when you turned to face him.

To his surprise, you didn’t see him, “Bruce, don’t just stand there!” you cried at Jason, “Why aren’t you doing anything!?”

Now that triggered Jason, he quickly got closer to you and injected the antidote into your neck. You gasped when you felt the sharp pain of the needle.

“I’m so sorry,” Jason whispered as you fell limp.

~~

You groaned, shifting your stiff body under a surprisingly cold blanket. The smell of cigarettes and gunpowder filled your nose, making you gag.

You shot up when you heard a familiar voice, “You’re finally up, princess.” Jason was sitting on a chair next to the bed. You couldn’t believe it, your dead boyfriend was wearing the Arkham Knight’s uniform.

“I’m totally dreaming.” You laughed nervously. But he had the same exact scar the Joker gave him that night.

Jason shook his head as he stood up from the chair, “No, baby, you’re not.” He whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed. You slowly reached out your hand, silently asking for permission to touch him. He nodded, taking your hand in his and placing your palm on his scar.

You let out a shaking breath, “Y-You’re real.” You couldn’t control yourself, you snatched your hand back and swung your other hand, smacking his other cheek, “After all this time you’re alive!?”

Jason clenched his jaw, smirking as he rubbed his cheek, “I deserved that.” He grunted.

“How long?” You sobbed, “How long have you been alive?”

“….A while.” Jason muttered.

You shook your head in disbelief, “And you never thought about seeing me?”

“You don’t think I ever thought about that?” He growled, “Every single day I thought about seeing you, but the fucking voices in my head prevented me from doing so.”

You let out a small gasp at his words. You never saw Jason this way, he wasn’t the same at all. All that torture he had to go through changed him, but no matter what he’s still your Jason. He continued speaking, “How could I walk back into your life looking like this, like a freak? I’m fucking screwed in the head and nothing will ever change that, you would’ve never loved the man I am today.”

“Don’t say that,” You whispered, he flinched when you took his face into your hands, “I love you, Jason, I still love you.”

He stiffened, squeezing his eyes shut and shoved your hands away, “I don’t deserve to be loved.” He snarled, getting up and made his way to the door.

“Hey!” You called out, “Wait, you can’t just pop back into my life and leave just like that! Where are you going?!”

“That shouldn’t concern you,” He chuckled, “I’ll be back later tonight, sweetheart, don’t miss me too much.”