i was only 12 years old

anonymous asked:

gemma, looking through the internet at all of the things tabloids and fans say about harry being an attention seeking, cheating, scheming, lying, womanizer who only dates when he has to promote something which is an image harry and the boys have spoken up against: no, that one. that comment from a 12 year old fan on my instagram picture implying harry is in a loving supportive relationship with a man. i can't stand seeing comments like these about my brother every day. i have to speak up.

gemma: you’re welcome to live in my brain for a day and then read comments like yours and see how you wanna deal with it, go ahead. me: oh shit thanks *turns off my computer so i can enjoy being an old white privileged millionaire cishet woman whose sole grievance in life is people thinking her brother is gay* great! now it’s your turn to live as a lower middle class trans teen of color who takes the time to support a boyband whose family members demonize you for thinking their brother is gay.

YOU GUYS ARE REALLY GOING IN FOR THE KILL

4

Yuri!!! on Ice Episode 12 left me with so much happiness EXCEPT for this one.

It has been mentioned as much in the previous episode: Yuuri wasn’t the only character thinking of retiring after the final. There’s also this guy, Christophe Giacometti.

His reasoning is easier to understand; he’s 25 years old and will be 26 soon. In the world of figure skating, it can’t really be considered young and Christophe knows this.

However, unlike Yuuri, Viktor, Yurio and other characters who are more “expressive”, Christophe doesn’t really show his feelings blatantly, if you know what I mean.

He looked happy and all smiles after his free skate, receiving a flower crown from Minako and winking at her, blowing kiss as usual to the audience as you can see in the above pictures.

But his closest people knew how he was actually feeling inside. His coach and - I guess it’s safe to say - his boyfriend knew that Chris must be disappointed. Just look at the change of his expression there. However, his coach and boyfriend also knew that Chris is strong, that Chris will be alright, which was why they smiled at him.

I think Chris is the kind of person who would prefer to silently cry alone, only known to his closest people, and maybe he would really do that after this. Imagine when you thought this would be your last season and you wanted to win for once since your arch-rival wasn’t there, but then you were absolutely outrun by all the younger guys. Heck, he didn’t even get to the podium this time, not even a Bronze Medal for him. There was no way he wasn’t disappointed.

But he faced it calmly with a smile.

I think among all the skaters, Chris is by far the most mature and the “strongest”. He is absolutely one of my favorite characters and whether he retires or not, I really wish that he would be happy.

shout-out to the artists who aren’t so great

shout-out to the 11 and 12 year olds who are just starting out and are brave enough to post their art

shout-out to the artists who have been practicing their whole lives and still aren’t “good”

shout-out to the artists who post a piece they are proud of only to have it get 5 or 6 notes

shout-out to the artists who don’t dedicate their lives to art/draw for the fun of it

shout-out to the artists who don’t get support from friends or family because they aren’t talented enough

shout-out to the artists who feel excluded from the fandom because they can’t draw as well as other fanartists

shout-out to the artists who taught themselves how to draw and/or can’t afford professional lessons

shout-out to the artists who can only draw one thing and draw it over and over

you work hard on your art and i think that’s beautiful. you can do it, please don’t quit because people don’t appreciate your hard work. 

I love how Magnus Chase refers to people as ‘his’.

Like how Hearthstone is ‘his’ elf, and Otis is ‘his’ goat. And his buddies are ‘his’ family. And how gets so mad when anyone tries to hurt them.

Also, I love how he was so ready to defend Sam’s right to choose who she wanted to marry - but instantly backed down and then decided to completely support her when he found out she was not only okay with her arranged marriage, but wanted it very badly, because she’s loved Amir since she was 12 years old. And proceeds to think it’s cute every time Sam gets flustered when she thinks about Amir.

I love how he’s so supportive of his friends, and how he called Blitz the most wonderful, strong, and handsome dwarf ever. And how he hugs everyone. And cries a lot. And wants to bake cookies for Hearth and wrap him in a blanket to make him feel better - but recognizes that his friend wouldn’t like that, and so treats Hearth the way he wants to be treated, instead of forcing his own wants onto his friend.

I like how he asks for permission before touching anyone to heal them, instead of invading their personal space.

And how he doesn’t hold grudges.

And how even though he and Gunilla didn’t see eye to eye on many things, he was still very upset and affected by her death, and carried her body back to Valhalla for a proper burial.

And I love how the thoughts that give him strength are the ones about his mother, and about their summers together.

And how he thinks the Fadlans are the most important, most amazing people ever, because they showed him kindness and fed him while he was homeless.

Just…Magnus Chase. I love this kid.

Love Songs

1. Isaiah - It’s Gotta Be You
2. 3 Doors Down - Here Without You
3. London Grammar - Big Picture
4. Adele - One And Only
5. Ellie Goulding - How Long Will I Love You
6. Bruno Mars - Just The Way You Are
7. Mr. Probz - Nothing Really Matters
8. Tom Odell - Grow Old with Me
9. John Legend - Love Me Now
10. Christina Perri - A Thousand Years
11. Coldplay - Fix You
12. Ruelle - I Get To Love You
13. Kodaline - The One
14. Miley Cyrus - When I Look At You
15. Leona Lewis - Run
16. Johnny Stimson - Holding On
17. James Blunt - You’re Beautiful
18. Coldplay - The Scientist
19. Robbie Williams - Angels
20. Jasmine Thompson - Like I’m Gonna Lose You

Steven’s aging is the gems fault!

Steven Universe is not a normal 14-year old, and the fact that he’s a half-alien hybrid of ambiguous bodily composition is only half the reason. Steven is smol. Real smol. So smol that when I found out he was 12 at the start of the series my jaw hit the fucking ground because I wasn’t aware he’d hit 10 yet.

It’s not just his body that looks young. Steven’s mind, his emotions and his personality are basically somewhere between the ages of 7 and 9, bottoming out a good half of his actual age. This isn’t normal, and I think the gems are to blame

Canonically, Stevem grew at a normal rate until around the age of 8, at which point his physical and mental development more or less locked down. Since Steven’s body is directly tied to his emotional perception of age, we can’t exactly blame poor nutrition or an overdue growth spurt. No, Steven’s state is a direct result of the status of his uprbinging. and what a coincidence that Steven stopped aging right around the time he moved in with the crystal gems

As the crew constantly reminds us, the gem race as a whole do not age. They are born fully formed from the ground and are supposed to remain at the same mental and emotional age for their entire existence. The only other gem who appeared to have any sort of childhood was Amethyst, and how much of that was Steven’s imagination is a lot more ambiguous than the fandom has accepted (Remember the time he pictured an old englishman as Jamie the mailman?)

Put simply, the crystal gems don’t expect him to grow up or continually raise their expectations of his emotional maturity. They shelter him from danger, their history and his mother’s war crimes. They may allow him on missions, but they still treat him like a child, and that’s not even the start

Unlike every other little boy in america who wasn’t raised by christian fundamentalists, Steven doesn’t go to school, and given that he only first learned what school was in season 1, I think it’s safe to say he hasn’t attended.

In the absence of an evolving frame of reference, Steven fails to evolve with it. As a result, while all the other kids are in school socializing, playing and growing with their peers, Steven interacts with people much older than him who can only treat him as a child.

Without peers his own emotional age Steven isn’t going to grow emotionally or physically. He’s a little boy and it’s all because the gems coddle him!

anti: signe? can i ask you something?

signe: yes?

anti: why aren’t you scared of me? i try to-

signe: you possess the body of a man who goes out shopping only to come back with toys.

anti: well-

signe: you possess the body of a 27 year old man who fits in a 12 year old’s costume.

anti: uh-

signe: you possess the body of a man wears flamingo shorts.

anti: fuck

6

Redesigned Book Covers - Percy Jackson And The Olympians

August 18th 2016 // Happy 23rd Birthday to Percy Jackson, the only boy that has made such a profound impact on my life. Percy has always been there for me since I was 12 years old, and his stories have changed the last 10 years of my life immensely. I cannot even begin to express how many times Percy Jackson has helped me out of terrible times, and how much I relate this series as a lifeline to my childhood, how much I see this as a window into happier fantasies. I’ve made friends over these books, and is the only only series other than Harry Potter that I will cherish until I die. This is my comfort series. It may sound ridiculous, but Percy is more than just some fictional character. Thank you, Rick Riordan, for giving me and millions of other children out there a friend in Percy Jackson. (legit tearing up writing this omg)

Harry Potter House Headcanon

I’m assuming that you have all seen my icon. It’s Harry Potter themed Atla crossover if you haven’t. And I decided to do a personal Harry Potter house analysis. I own no gifs shown below.

Let the Analysis begin!

Okay so for this analysis I’m going to analyze the characters from Atla and which hogwarts house they should be a part of.

  1) Aang - Hufflepuff

I believe Aang is a hufflepuff. He is very loyal and kind, which shows multiple times throughout the series. And Aang also is very hardworking. I’m mean I don’t know about you. But mastering all 4 elements at 12 years old in a limited amount of time seems like it takes a pretty extensive work ethic.

2) Sokka - Ravenclaw

Sokka was always one of the smartest people in the Gaang itself. Coming up with plans and strategies was not work of the idiotic. And his natural skepticism and sarcasm showed that not only was he intellectual, he was indeed very wise, Which is why I think he’s a ravenclaw.

3) Toph - Slytherin

Toph always was ambitious and greedy. One of the best examples I can think of this is the episode The Runaway. Toph was extremely greedy in this episode. And greed can lead to ambition, To which it did in Toph’ s case. She found new ways to rob people and did not feel bad about it. These are very Slytherin qualities.

4) Katara - Hufflepuff

Everyone knows Katara was extremely kind and loyal. No one could ever doubt it. And yes while she was brave and very smart, her kindness made her distinctive from other characters. I can even quote her compassion in The Painted Lady, by saying that she will never ever turn her back on people who need her.

5) Suki - Gryffindor

Suki was one of he bravest characters in the entire series. She was dedicated and she was willing ot sacrifice for what she believed in. The best example I can think of was when she was thrown into the boiling rock. She was willing to give up her freedom just for what she believed in.

7) Azula - Slytherin

I’m pretty sure I don’t really have to justify this one. Over the series, Azula was known for her malicious and persuasive actions. There are so many examples I’m not going to list them all.  She screams slytherin.

8) Zuko - Gryffindor

A lot of people think that Zuko should be slytherin. But I disagree. Yes, he was ambitious. But he was brave enough to not only face his father but actually disobey his father. If that doesn’t speak wonders then I’m not sure what does.

9) Ty Lee - Hufflepuff

Like Azula’s, I don’t think that this one needs a lot of explaining. Ty Lee was always very kind, and she was dedicated to help.She always was hard working in something that meant a lot to her. The best example is the circus.

10) Mai - Gryffindor

Mai initially never came off as a Gryffindor. But she showed her bravery when she faced Azula at the boiling rock. She was brave enough to tell Azula that she loved Zuko more than she feared her.

Please comment your thoughts. I hope you enojoyed. 

SU Theory - Greg’s Age

A little something I noticed in Adventures In Light Distortion. Pearl mentioned that in 70 years Greg would be 110 years old. I did the maths (well, google did) and Greg is only supposed to be 40???

Okay so maybe people are thinking “yeah, he might look older than that but hey he could be 40 tbh”. Well, it is possible, but if it is, the timeline gets weirder.

I googled 70 years ago from today. 1977. If Greg really did meet Rose in the 80s, judging by the fashion, he would be at most 12 years old. Given he revealed he was 22 when he met them, either Pearl gave misinformation and he was born in 1967, making it possible for him to be 22 in the 1980s and therefore 50 years old, or they actually did meet in the 90s (hence why Greg made that comment about him believing disco was coming back). If they really did meet in the 90s, and we subtract 14 from 40, that makes Greg only 26 years old when Steven was born. If we take Greg’s word, that means they had Steven after only four years of knowing each other.

That’s what confuses me. It seems like a very short amount of time for someone who literally doesn’t age to suddenly decide she wants to have a child, give up her physical form, research how to shapeshift all the necessary anatomy etc, I mean considering pregnancy is 9 months long they only would have known each other 3 years and three months when they conceived?? That seems extremely weird to me since it would have had to have been planned. I understand that she believes human lives are short but surely that’s still very extreme?

So we can believe two things: either Pearl was incorrect and miscalculated, meaning Greg is 50 years old, knew Rose 14 years and had Steven at age 36 rather than 26 (which seems more plausible to me), or they really did conceive a child after only knowing each other for approximately 3 years and 3 months of knowing one another (and if we round up the montage of Greg’s song in Greg the Babysitter to be over the course of at least a year considering how old Sour Cream is at that point, Rose only became interested in human babies 2 years prior to having Steven). Well, if the latter is the case, it would explain why the gems were so shaken up by their loss. (oops that’s not okay.)

I mean, maybe I’m looking too much into this, but it’s food for thought. Think I should start up one of those wild theory youtube accounts or something??

Ghost!Calum

Words: 6K

Warning: smut

Summary: Y/N and her mum move into a new home, which Y/N is dreading. Whilst painting her room she meet’s Calum who died a year ago and is obviously a ghost. You help him reconnect with his old best friends in which he thanks you in the best way a ghost could.

Masterlist

Your mum drove up the long stony pathway, hearing the rocks crackle beneath the tyres. I let out another exaggerated sigh, looking dramatically out the window as a sad song played through my headphones. Me and my mum were once again moving away from our problems. In the past five year’s we’ve moved at least 12 times, from small flats to large houses. It all started when my dad cheated on my mum, I was only 10 and didn’t understand why we were moving from our happy family home to a cramped apartment that was the size of a shoe box. Now at the age of 19 I had gotten used to moving around and not unpacking my things. I had never had a stable job or education either, I tried but it was so hard moving around the place. 

“Cheer up Y/N” Mum said in her silky voice. I rolled my eye’s and focused on the tree leaves, the different colours of orange. I loved autumn it’s always been my favourite as it’s not to hot but it’s not to cold. It’s just right. We had been travelling through this forest for a couple of minutes. Up the long drive, it had gotten a lot darker and the colours of the leaves were a dark brown. I looked in front and there stood a large black castle/house. I furrowed my eye brows as my mum got out the car with her clanging key’s. There was a large gate with a chain holding it together, my mum placed the key in the lock and the chains fell from the gate. She pushed them back and placed a stop underneath them. The house itself was massive, probably bigger then anything we’ve ever had. It was dark and gloomy and could do with a paint job, or some colour. My mum came back into the car and put the key’s down into the cup holder. 

“So what do you think?” she said excitedly. 

“I like it, how long this time? A week? A month? or will we be moving tomorrow?” I mumbled sarcastically. 

Keep reading

EITHER GET TUMBLR SAVIOR OR UNFOLLOW ME RIGHT.  THE FUCK.  NOW BECAUSE THIS IS GONNA BE THE ONLY THING I POST ABOUT FOR A WEEK!!!!

I’M TAGGING MY YOI SPOILERS AFTER THIS POST SO EITHER GET READY OR GET OUT

ALL Y’ALL MOTHERFUCKERS WHO SAID IT WAS QUEERBAITING

ALL Y’ALL WHO SAID IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN

ALL Y’ALL NAYSAYERS LET ME JUST NICKI MINAJ CACKLE IN YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY SHIP

JUST

BECAME

CANON!!!!!!!!!

I’M YELLING LIKE A FUCKING 12-YEAR-OLD AND I DON’T GIVE A SHIT

I’M 28 YEARS OLD I’VE DONE MY TIME I’VE PAID MY DUES IN EVERY GODFORSAKEN FANDOM AND I KNEW ONE DAY MY REWARD WOULD COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT

I DON’T GIVE A F U C K ABOUT COMPOSURE TONIGHT I’M GARBAGE I’M FUCKING GARBAGE AND I’M IN FUCKING DUMPSTER HEAVEN!!!!!!!

  • Me, old and withered, slowly rocking in a rocking chair beside a fireplace, the grandchildren i wont have because im gay huddled on the floor around me: back in my youth...we didnt have any police cadets...or noah sexuality arguments...in fact, noah was only in four episodes of the original total drama!
  • Nonexistent Grandkids: (gasp in terror) Gee whilickers that sounds terrible! How did people live back then!?
  • Me: Don't even get me started on the great war of duncanxcourtney vs duncanxgwen... be glad you kids today didnt live through....the be my bad boy amvs...
So Flirty - Derek Luh, Sammy Wilk, Jack Gilinsky Imagine

MASTERLIST

Being the only girl in a squad can be fun, but it surely isn’t always easy especially if you have very flirtatious best friends like I do. 

I just turned 19 and I’ve been friends with Derek Luh, Sammy Wilkinson and Jack Gilinsky since I was 13 years old. I’ve always been more comfortable being in guys’ company than girls and there’s a reason for that. 

When I was 12, I had a best friend named Ashley. We were inseparable. We were literally every single day together hanging out and doing fun stuff. Everything was perfect for about a year and then, my “bestie” started to hang out with the girl that we used to hate to death and blew me off. I was devastated, I couldn’t believe that Ashley would ever do that to me. I had thought that our friendship was going to last “forever”, but she ruined everything. But that’s not all, there was one boy that I was so in love with, his name was Adam. He was really cute and we would’ve always made and eye contact when our eyes would met and it was really cute. But then, this bitch started dating him as soon as we stopped hanging out. I was so hurt and mad. I wanted to rip her hair off. She knew I liked him and she did something like that. 

As I was deeply disappointed in girls’ friendships, I didn’t want to have friends anymore at all, especially not female friends. But then, I met these three; Luh, Wilk and Gilinsky. When we just started to hang out, I was really scared to get too close to them just because I didn’t want to be hurt by them like I was by Ashley so I didn’t taker our friendship seriously at all. But as the years were passing, I realized that they’re nothing like Ashley. After 3 years of non stop hanging out with my new 3 best friends, I knew they were here to stay. 

‘Sammy,’ I whined ‘Let me go.’ 

‘Noo’ He protested tightly holding his arms wrapped around my waist. We were watching a movie for 2 hours in his and G’s house and we were cuddled into each other and I really had to pee, but he didn’t want to let me go. 

G didn’t want to watch the movie with us because we’ve all seen in a million times, but Sammy got sick a few days ago and the cold was still holding him so I had to please him and watch the movie again. I always treat him like a baby when he’s sick. Well, not just him, all three of them.

‘I’m gonna pee in my pants,you idiot’ I chuckled. 

‘But your boobs were so comfy and I was just about to fall asleep.’ He said and I rolled my eyes. 

‘I’ll come back in a minute.’ I said managing to pull out of his tight grip. ‘Gosh, Sammy’  

I was literally running upstairs to the bathroom and when I finally reached it, I just rushed in without even checking if someone was already in there and what happened? 

‘Jack, oh my God!’ I screamed as I saw naked Gilinsky stepping out of the shower. I quickly covered my eyes and turned around. ‘I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were in there and I have to pee really really bad.’ I started apologizing. 

‘It’s okay, y/n.’ He said. ‘I don’t mind really.’ 

‘I’m gonna leave..you to..get dressed’ I said reaching for the door knob, but when I tired to open the door, it didn’t want. ‘Why-? Jack, why this doesn’t want to open?’ I asked. 

‘Fuck, did you slammed the door?’ He asked. 

‘I didn’t, they slammed itself.’ 

‘Shit, now we’re stuck.’ 

‘What? Why??’ 

‘These doors are broken and you need to close them really slowly or else they’ll get stuck.’ He said. 

‘Great, G, you’re telling me this now?!’ I said frustrated squeezing my thighs and still trying to open the door. 

‘Wait, let me try’ He said. 

As he stood behind me, I felt his bulge poking my butt and he purposely thrusted himself a little into me. ‘Jack!’ I said slapping his arm and moving away from him noticing that he had a towel around his waist now.

‘What, baby?’ He laughed. 

‘Fuck off’ I chuckled rolling my eyes. ‘And hurry up with opening the door. My bladder can’t hold on anymore.’ I said and he laughed again. 

‘Well pee, I’m not gonna watch you while you’re peeing.’ 

‘But you’ll hear me’ 

‘Y/n, just fucking pee’ He said. 

At this point, I didn’t have choice and I just had to do it. 

‘Don’t you dare to peep at me’ I said taking ma yoga pants off. I sat down on the toilet and finally let the piss out of me. ‘Fuck’ I breathed out as I was overwhelmed with a feeling of relief. I saw Jack turning his head a little to peep and I threw a roll of toilet paper at him hitting him in the head. ‘Jack!’ 

‘Now I’m not gonna give you back the toilet paper because you hit me with it’ He said. 

‘Jaack, c’mon’ I whined. ‘I’m done, I need it’ 

‘Noup.’ 

‘C’mon, don’t be an asshole.’

‘If you kiss me, I’ll give you the toilet paper’ 

‘Okay, just give me fucking toilet paper!’ I said and he threw it back to me.

I mean, only my friends can blackmail me with the toilet paper. 

I flushed the toilet and came over to the sink to wash my hands. after I dried them, Jack turned me around lifting me up, sitting me down on the sink and standing between my legs. 

‘You promised’ He smirked. 

I rolled my eyes and kissed his cheek. I pulled back and he raised his eyebrow at me. ‘What?’ I chuckled shrugging my shoulders. 

‘Seriously? I didn’t mean kiss on the cheek’ 

‘I know, but I’m not gonna kiss you, you’re my best friend, you idiot.’ 

‘I know you want it as much as I do’ He said trying to seduce me by pushing his head into my neck and leaving a kiss there. 

‘Jack, stop’ I laughed pushing him back and then he laughed with me too. ‘Open the door, I’m not planning to be stuck with you here forever’ 

‘Oh, but I do’ He smirked and I rolled my eyes at his constant flirting with me. ‘Sammy!’ He yelled. ‘Samuel, come upstairs and rescue us!’ 

It was around 2 a.m. and I was laying in my bed and watching some youtube videos since I couldn’t sleep for some reason. Just when I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep again, I got a call from Derek. 

‘Y/n…’ He whined. By the sound of his voice, I immediately knew that he was not sober.

‘Derek..’ I sighed. ‘Why are you drunk again?’ 

‘I was feeling like shit and now I feel even worse. I need you to come and pick me up’ 

‘I’m really tired, call Jack.’ 

‘Noo, I want you, please, I’m sad.’ 

‘Uh, okay, I’m coming. Just tell me where you are’ 

I sat in the car and started driving toward the club that Derek was in. 

… 

‘Let’s get you upstairs’ I said struggling to take him into his room. 

‘You know, I’m really happy to have you’ He mumbled. 

‘I know you are’ 

‘If there wasn’t for you now, I’d have to drive by myself and who knows, maybe I’d get into a car accident’ 

‘Oh my God, Derek. Don’t even think about things like that.’ I said shaking my head. I don’t know what I’d do without three of them and I don’t even wanna imagine a life without them. 

‘I love you. So so much.’ He said taking my face between his hands as we reached his bedroom. 

‘I love you too. Now go lay down on the bed while I go get you some water, okay?’ I said and he nodded. 

As I came back into his bedroom, I almost dropped the glass filled with water when I saw Derek naked laying on the bed. 

‘Oh my God, seriously?’ I asked turning my head. ‘What is wrong with everyone today? Why do I have to see everyone naked?’ 

‘I sleep naked.’ He said. 

‘Nice to know.’ I said sarcastically. ‘First Gilinsky, now you.’ 

‘Gilinsky? Why did you see him naked? Did you cheat on me?’ 

‘It was accidentaly, of course.’ I said. ‘And I did not cheat on you because we’re not even together’ I rolled my eyes. 

‘I know, why do you have to rub it in my face?’ He asked almost starting to cry. 

‘Oh my God, you’re so drunk, Derek.’ I sighed. I covered him with a white quilt cover and moved his hair out of his face. ‘Sleep now, okay? I’ll come to check on you tomorrow.’ I said. 

‘Won’t you stay here with me like you always do?’ He asked pouting. 

‘I can’t tonight. I have something important to do tomorrow.’ I said. ‘I’m going. Goodnight.’ I kissed his cheek and he kissed mine before I left. 

‘Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?!’ I was going crazy cause I couldn’t find my other nude heel that I needed. I was about to start crying cause I couldn’t find it when I remembered where could it be. 

I quickly sat in my car and drove to Gilinsky and Sammy’s place. Waiting impatiently for one of them to open the door, I texted my date to come and pick me up on this address. 

When Jack finally opened the door his eyes went wide ‘Damn, baby’

‘Get out of the way’ I quickly walked past him running upstairs into my room. Yes, I have a room at theirs place. 

‘Whoa, she’s so hot’ I heard Samy and Derek comment.

‘Here you are!’ I felt such a huge relief when I found the heel laying next the bed. 

‘Why are you so dressed up?’ Derek asked me when I entered the living room. 

‘Because I’m going on a date.’ I said smiling as I sprayed my favourite perfume all over myself. 

‘What?’ All three of them said at once. ‘Why?’ They asked and I laughed. 

‘I don’t know really. I mean what kind of question is that?’ 

‘With who?’ Just when I was about to answer the question, the doorbell rang. 

I hurried to open the door and all three of them followed me. 

‘Seriously, guys?’ I asked quietly before I opened the door. 

‘Hey!’ 

‘Hey, Kian!’ I smiled as I kissed his cheek and he pulled me into a hug. 

‘You ready?’ He asked. 

‘Yeah, let’s go.’ I said and then I heard G, Sammy and Derek clearing their throats. I rolled my eyes smiling as I turned to them. 

‘Who are they?’ Kian asked me whispering. 

‘They’re..my brothers.’ 

‘Listen, we want her back by 11, understood?’ G said. 

‘P.M.’ Derek and Sammy added. 

‘I’m scared’ Kian whispered in my ear.

‘Oh my God, please ignore them.’ I chuckled. ‘Let’s go.’ I said pulling him outside.

‘Y/n, we’re serious! We’ll come looking for you if you’re not here by 11.’ Derek yelled. I turned to them and blew them kiss before sitting in the car with Kian and driving away. 

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #108 - The Road to El Dorado

(GIF originally posted by @dreamworksmoments)

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: DVD

1) Not only is this one of my favorite animated movies, it is one of my favorite movies period. I found it while scrolling through Cartoon Network or HBO Family or something and watched it every chance I could get. 12 year old me found it very edgy. The mild swearing, the cigars, the blasphemy, all of it was very enticing and that’s fed my love of the film since.

2) Elton John & Tim Rice, the songwriting duo behind The Lion King, re-teamed for this film and churned out a nice set of songs. But the strange thing is if you listen to the soundtrack most of the songs are recorded differently than how they appear in the film. The one exception I think is “Someday Out of the Blue” which plays during the end credits. Still, they songs add the fun and energetic flavor to the film. The opening song in particular, “El Dorado,” does a nice job of setting up the mythology we need to get the movie started in a very short amount of time.

3) If you’re a fan of voice over work, you’ll recognize Jim Cummings as Cortez.

Cummings is one of the most prolific and talented voice over artists out there. It would be impossible to list everything he’s done, but his most notable work has been as Darkwing Duck, Winnie the Pooh & Tigger too, Hondo on "Star Wars: The Clone Wars”, Razoul in Aladdin, and Ray the firefly in The Princess and the Frog. It’s fun knowing what he sounds like because not only do you hear him in Cortez, but you also pick up the random nameless characters he plays too with his different voices.

4) The heart of the film, the thing that makes it great: Miguel & Tulio.

Originally posted by roadtoeldorado

The bromance between Miguel & Tulio is what makes this film work as well as it does, it’s what makes it fun! Kenneth Branagh and Kevin Kline voice the pair respectively, and their chemistry is off the charts. It doesn’t hurt that the pair actually got to record their performances with each other, a rarity in animation (although Pixar has done it with Monsters Inc for John Goodman and Billy Crystal).

Their relationship and roles are clear from the start, they balance each other out. Tulio is mildly selfish with a great hunger for gold and an ability to think things through. Miguel’s heart is bigger than their brain, being the dreamer/softie of the group (wanting the map to El Dorado, saving Altivo the horse when he almost drowns, etc.). And they play off each other beautifully.

Originally posted by hamsturfinnur

5) 12 year old me was very fascinated with the slight profanities this film had.

Tulio [when he’s about to roll his dice]: “Come on baby, papa needs that crappy map.”

I thought crap was a real swear when I was twelve. I didn’t lose my innocence until thirteen.

6) Chekov’s Fake Fight.

Originally posted by somehow-you-will

(GIF originally posted by @somehow-you-will)

The fight comes into play later in the film too, but is a showcase mainly for the wonderful banter between Miguel & Tulio and - therefore - the excellent writing of screenwriters of Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio. These guys were my favorite screenwriters when I was twelve, and can you blame me? Their resume consisted of: Aladdin, The Mask of Zorro, Shrek, The Road to El Dorado, every Pirates of the Caribbean film, Treasure Planet, and both National Treasure films. They have a strong penchant for strong dialogue too. Consider the exchange above, and also this:

Miguel: “You fight like my sister.”

Tulio: “I’ve FOUGHT your sister! That’s a compliment!”

I love that.

7) According to IMDb:

The film shares several attributes of its namesake, the "Road” comedies made famous by Bob Hope and Bing Crosby during the 1940s (which helps explain anachronisms such as shared language, pop culture references and lack of historical accuracy).

I just thought that was a fun share.

8) God, I love the banter between these two.

[Tulio & Miguel jump into barrels of water in a chase scene but can’t escape because the barrels are being loaded onto a ship]

Tulio: “What’s happening here?”

Miguel: “We’re both in barrels. That’s the extent of my knowledge.”

9) Even the bad guys have great dialogue!

Cortes (upon discovering Miguel & Tulio on his ship): “My crew was as carefully chosen as the disciples of Christ.”

10) I’m just going to let you know now, so many of my notes here are just quotes from the film I love.

Miguel [giddily, after Cortes tell the pair they will be enslaved in Cuba for being stow aways]: “Alright! Cuba!”

11) For example, another quote:

Miguel: Yes, that’s it Altivo. Find the pry bar!

Tulio: Yes, “find the pry bar”. He doesn’t understand “pry bar”! He’s a dumb horse, there’s no way he could understand…

[Altivo drops keys into the brig]

Tulio: Well… it’s NOT a pry bar.

12) The Trail We Blaze

Originally posted by insidealosershead

Animated films are usually short so as to be not too time consuming. It can take years to make 80 minutes of animation. This film has a nice device of compacting what could be very long scenes into neat little montages with the use of a song. We still get Tulio & Miguel’s fun journey through the jungles to find El Dorado, but it’s done in three and a half minutes to a fun Elton John tune. It keep the energy, the adventure, but doesn’t waste the time of the animators or the audience.

13) Immediately Tulio and Chel have great chemistry as they play “pass the golden idol” together!

14) El Dorado.

(GIF originally posted by @dreamworksmoments)

Immediately upon entering the city the audience is filled with a sense of wonder, achieved through gorgeous animation and also Hans Zimmer’s subtle music which adds for extra bone tingling. You marvel at it with Tulio and Miguel, and you understand how it is such a mythical place.

15) Edward James Olmos does some great voice over work as Chief Tannabok.

Originally posted by roadtoeldorado

I’ve never seen “Battlestar Galactica” so I am mostly familiar with Olmos from his work in Blade Runner, Stand & Deliver, and even “Agents of SHIELD”. I think he shows off a nice amount of range with this addition to his resume. Chief Tannabok is not an angry man. He is kind, soft, gentle, patient, but also you can tell that he’s kinda sad. You don’t HEAR Olmos, you hear the chief and that makes him an excellent addition to the cast.

16) And of course our big bad, Tzekel-Kan

Originally posted by roadtoeldorado

Tzekel-Kan is the opposite of Chief Tannabok. He is angry, an overlord of sorts. He wants blood because he believes it is what’s needed. He believes people are wicked and evil just for enjoying life and being kind, and it is his righteous duty to smite them. He pisses me off way more now than he did when I was twelve.

17) This whole bit with the volcano! Miguel goes too far and says that the gods should not be questioned or else they will be forced to release their awful wrath…but Tzekel-Kan wants to see that. Only they’re not gods! So he and Tulio turn away to try and figure it out and we get this…

Originally posted by findreactions

There’s an old addage in writing: “A coincidence to get a character out of trouble is lazy.” However in this case I’m 100% okay with that because it’s just funny as hell.

18) How many of us have used this GIF?

Originally posted by idiot-eden

19) Chel.

Originally posted by specta-a

Chel is a nice way of making the duo a trio. Voiced wonderfully by Rosie Perez, she is just as crafty and cunning as Tulio (if not more so) but also understand Miguel’s sense of adventure. The pair balance each other out already, bit if Miguel acts too dreamer-y or Tulio is too gold hungry they throw each other out of whack (as this film shows). Chel helps stabilize them by film’s end and is a lot of fun to watch. Also, bonus points for being an animated female character with a body that is physically possible.

20)

Chel [on why she wants a life of adventure]: “You’ve got your reasons…and I’ve got mine. Let’s not make this personal, okay?”

WHAT ARE HER REASONS!?!? WE NEVER LEARN!!! I MUST KNOW!!!

21) So Chel needs to prove to Tulio and Miguel she’s a good con artist…

[Chel shows the pair the dice she stole from Tulio]

Tulio: “How did you get those?”

Miguel: “Where was she keeping them?”

I’m with Miguel, that’s the more important question.

22) Oh Miguel…

Originally posted by jay-robo

Originally posted by mulder-scully-gifs

23) It’s Tough to be a God.

Originally posted by borzotro

The only time this film is a traditional musical (ie: the characters themselves break into song & dance), and considering Kevin Kline’s and Kenneth Branagh’s singing here that might not be the worst thing. The interesting thing is that their version doesn’t even appear on the soundtrack. Instead we get a duet with Elton John and Randy Newman.

24) I need to remember this excuse.

Tulio [trying to convince Tzekel-Kan not to make a human sacrifice to the gods/them]: “The stars are not in position for this tribute.”

Miguel: “Like he said…”

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

Originally posted by pantyception

25) I don’t identify totally with Miguel or totally with Tulio, but with parts of them. Like I identify with Tulio being kind of the dreamer who thinks things are possible, but this is a very me thing to say:

Tulio [after Miguel tells him he worries too much]: “No, I worry just the right amount! You can never worry too much!”

Same, Tulio. Same.

26) Remember how I said this movie was edgy to 12 year old me. Well it features a scene where Chel tries to seduce Tulio. Like, more than wanting a kiss. But like she shows off her shoulders for a back massage, they’re later found on the ground together all disheveled, it’s not even very subtle when you know what’s going on. Twelve year old me was very innocent.

27) I love their banter.

Miguel [when he and Tulio end up in a big arena to play ball for the locals]: “Well don’t blame me!”

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

28) The ball game is a lot of fun to watch, if for no other reason then Chel on the sidelines.

Chel: “Foul! That was a foul!”

And then it’s her idea to use the armadillo as a ball replacement to cheat.

29) So earlier in the film we got this line from Miguel:

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

And then later in the film Miguel tries to convince Chief Tannabok that the boat they are using to leave isn’t good enough (because Miguel wants to stay) when in fact it’s perfect. When Miguel admits his mistake, we got this line from the chief.

Chief: “Hey, to err is human.”

Miguel goes to get in the boat, but then he looks over his shoulder at the chief and the chief looks at him knowingly. And they don’t say anything else about it.

I love that. I love that the chief isn’t an idiot, but he knows. He knows and he knows it’s good for his people and he knows Miguel is a good guy and…I just love it!

30) I love little things like this.

[A giant stone jaguar, controlled by Tzekel-Kan, attacks the city. It grabs a warrior, ruffs him up A LOT, then lets him fall to the ground.]

Warrior [patting himself down]: “I’m okay!!!”

[Jaguar steps on warrior]

Warrior [from under Jaguar’s foot]: “I’m still okay!”

31) Remember how I talked about Chekov’s Fake Fight?

Tzekel-Kan [when he was Miguel & Tulio cornered]: “I know what you are and I know what you are not. And you are not GODS!”

Tulio [after a beat]: “Y-you’re not a god!?”

The pair then continue to have a very real argument where they say some pretty cold things to each other…

Tulio: “You’re buying your own con!”

Miguel: “At least I’m not DATING mine!”

But it has the same effect. Tzekel-Kan is distracted, enjoying their fighting, and the audience is as surprised as he is when the pair work in sync again and punch the guy out. It’s a nice way of playing the scene out.

32) Friends Never Say Goodbye. A very sad song that plays when it seems like Tulio and Miguel are going to take separate paths in life and are really mad at each other. It actually has some nice truths to it, and again is slightly different on the soundtrack. Elton John is backed up by the Backstreet Boys for the song on the album. I hope that didn’t ruin it for some of you.

Originally posted by dorawinifredread

33) The film ends with the citizens of El Dorado crashing a pillar into their gate so as to keep Cortes from finding the city, only it is falling too soon. So Chief Tannabok grabs some of the ropes and holds it back for a while. And this is probably REALLY mean of me and I apologize in advance but I just thought of this:

Originally posted by ignitetheliight

I’m so sorry.

34) According to IMDb:

A series of sequels featuring Miguel, Tulio, Chel, Altivo and even the armadillo going after other legends about gold was planned, similar to the Shrek (2001) series, but following the disappointing box-office results they were immediately canceled.

Originally posted by roadtoeldorado

While that would’ve been interesting I’m kinda glad this film just stands on its own. It’s a nice little gem that way.


I love this film, and think a lot of people out there will too. People don’t really talk about it these days except to talk about how no one talks about it. It’s a nice variation from standard Disney fare, the music is great, freaking Miguel & Tulio are just awesome, and it is just such an enjoyable/adventure filled film. I think you should all watch it now! It’s on Netflix if you have it. So go. Go follow that trail! (Too easy?)