i was never a girl scout but we do have a boat

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 5

Great team work, amigos. Here’s is part 5! 

  1. “Why is there a naked Ken Barbie doll tied up in your room?” “Goddammit, ____! I told you not to go in there!”
  2. “No Candice, I am NOT selling you my soul again.”
  3. “why is the fairy holding a gun.”
  4. “Jesus Christ on a boat made of crackers, what are you doing outside of the pod ship again?”
  5. “WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT” “He said I couldn’t… and I thought it was a challenge…”
  6. “How the fuck did you dye the ocean ORANGE?!”
  7. “Why are the roses green?”
  8. “Great, you made death angry.”
  9. ”この___だ!”
  10. “That better be a press on tattoo.”
  11. “If you only listened to the nature, you could learn more than humans ever passed to us.”
  12. “So, we’re dead?” “Well, kind of… yeah.”
  13. “Remind me again why you have a centaur tied up in your truck?”
  14. “Can you stop staring into my soul every time we meet? I feel exposed.”
  15. “You do realize that he wasn’t breathing when he spoke to us, right?”
  16. “I liked you better when you where possessed by that demon friend of yours”
  17. “You’re absolutely in love with him and have been for at least 2 years if you don’t go tell him how you feel I swear to god I will”
  18. “There are worse things in life than death.” “Nobody asked you,Lucifer.” “Just saying.”
  19. “Well, it’s wonderful that you’re having a sexuality crisis, but in case you forgot, we’re kind of in the middle of STOPPING THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!”
  20. “Why is there a horse crashing on our couch?” “Oh, that’s Satan.”
  21. “Why would I hang out with you? You’re so incompetent! Your sacrifice to the faeries was so insufficient!”
  22. “Where the hell did the dragon go?! He was right here!”
  23. “Ok, the recipie calls for two cups of lemon and a cup of sugar, but all I see are cough syrup and battery acid…”
  24. “What do you mean today’s not a Tuesday?!”
  25. “So everyone on Earth had the same dream as me?”
  26. “you know what will solve that? Scotch.”
  27. “I didn’t ask for this!” “… you didn’t?”
  28. “How is it that the least likely outcome is always the outcome I receive?!” “You should go buy a lottery ticket.”
  29. “Guys, i know you’re all busy, but if any of you wants the dinner done, i will need my arm back”
  30. “Of COURSE I care about you. That’s why I sold your soul on the black market.”
  31. “JOHN I AM BEGINNING TO QUESTION THE VALIDITY OF YOUR PLAN” “AS AM I ALEX, AS AM I”
  32. “What?”
  33. “I will take the concept of my rage, transform it into a physical weapon, and use it to BEAT YOU TO DEATH!”
  34. “Did you really HAD to slap the shark?!” “I mean… If you want me to kick it-”
  35. “I don’t care, your tamagotchi dying is not an excuse to wake me up before noon!”
  36. “You are telling me that the socks with hearts that I’ve been mocking since the first day you arrived are, in fact, what keep you alive?” “Yes!” “What?”
  37. “So you really want me to believe that you’re actually from the future?”
  38. “Dude. What have you done. Now we HAVE TO save those aliens!”
  39. “Can you just stop?” “God no, why would I do that?”
  40. “Hey at least I get laid doing it”
  41. “While that’s a lovely story, it doesn’t quite explain the fires.”
  42. “Dude, please tell me that you planned to deal with her guardian angel when you killed her.”
  43. “That’s such a stupid idea… let’s do it.”
  44. “What do you MEAN this just HAPPENS?!” “All the time, actually.”
  45. “I swear, one day you’ll kill us both.” “Oh please, I’ve never been that reckless.” “…” “That was ONE TIME!”
  46. “Why did you buy a nuke?!” “Why wouldn’t I? It was on sale”
  47. “I am fueled purely by rage and instant coffee.”
  48. “How are you a million years old, bit you can’t even remember who George Washington is?”
  49. “Because I gave not, a single shit.”
  50. “Is that a marijuana? In my good  Christian suburbs?!”
  51. “WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT KILLING PEOPLE?? YOU NEVER USE THE DRAGON, YOU IDIOT”
  52. “I don’t care if he’s a unicorn, NO ONE EATS MY MINI EGGS!”
  53. “Jesus Christ Lewis! *Again* with the Snails?” “It’s Thursday! You said Thursday’s were okay!”
  54. “Here’s a story for you. I woke up in Vegas as a makeup guru. I was REALLY drunk.”
  55. “If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you…WAIT, NO IT WAS A JOKE, STOP!”
  56. “You’re kinda like hitchhiking Ghost Busters, aren’t you?”
  57. “For gods sake, ditch the fanny pack”
  58. “Take the tomato!” “No, I don’t want the tomato” “JUST TAKE THE TOMATO”
  59. “‘That’s no moon!’ Everyone  remembered Jimmy’s words that night as he scolded his friends for half-heartedly pulling their pants down.”
  60. “WHY IS THERE A BEAR IN MY BATHROOM”
  61. “Can you believe it?” “Just barely.”  "Man, I never thought he would ACTUALLY throw the chair.“
  62. "What did you THINK girl scout cookies were made of?”
  63. “Really? That’s not what I heard from Mrs. Sanchez across the hall!”   “Mom she’s literally a possessed cow, why do you listen to her?”
  64. “You got the rubber chicken, cheese whiz, and dish soap?” “Yep” “Ok, let’s do this!”
  65. “Are you building a life-sized Godzilla at 3am again?”
  66. “Don’t get pissy at me, YOU’RE the one who didn’t say what kind of tea bags to get for the clown!”
  67. "So YOU’RE the guy the math textbooks warned us about.”
  68. “Where’s our cat?” “I thought you were responsible for it?..”
  69. “What do you mean I’m half demon”
  70. “why are you duct taping a cat to the ceiling?” “aesthetic.”
  71. “Hope is a lie. So is philosophy, morality, language in general, the sky, dogs, and about a third of the population of Michigan.”
  72. “So let me get this straight. You filled a Darth Vader costume… With cats?”
  73. “How did I die this time?” “Well, it was pretty quick. I missed it, but from what I can tell, you convinced an entire school of 4000 people to throw watermelons at you all at the same time.” “…And?” “The impact of the watermelons threw you back a couple hundred kilometers and you landed in the ocean…inside the mouth of a particularly hungry shark.” “Goddamn it I wanted this death to be metal!”
  74. “Yesterday I learned that my childhood friend was a demon.”
  75. “Please tell me you said 'What bothers me most.’ "Yes? What the hell did you think I said?” Well….it kinda sounded like “His father’s meatloaf.’
  76. "Goddammit, why won’t you die?!”  "I DON’T FUCKING KNOW! “
  77. "I’d appreciate it if you fucking stopped, thanks.”
  78. “What the hell is this?” “It’s jello, you eat it”
  79. "You didn’t” “I did and I made them watch”
  80. "Why in the hell did you think this was a good idea?” “Look, YOU try saying 'No’ to not just a primordial deity, but my little sister as well.” “…Ok, you got me there.”
  81. “How do you know that it’s supposed to look like this?”
  82. “Are you making *tea*?!” “Well what else am I supposed to do?” “I don’t know maybe STOP THE MONSTER THATS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!!”
  83. “Why are you in a dress?” “Lucifer wanted to have a tea party. You don’t say no to Lucifer”
  84. “So you’re telling me that aliens invaded while I was on vacation?”
  85. “I appreciate the gesture but I prefer my horses fried rather than alive.”
  86. *whining* “But Mooommm, I don’t want to save the woooorrld!”
  87. “Now I know not to cry there”
  88. “What if we DIDNT kill the king every Thursday” “Good idea we’ll kill him on Fridays instead.”
  89. “So you’re a zombie now?” “I guess I am” “So what are you gonna do about it?” “*shrug* I don’t know….”
  90. “I guess you weren’t joking when you said that the world is ruled by ants”
  91. “When I die, tell everyone 'I told you so.’”
  92. “You’re not real… You’re only in those silly books!” “Correction, my dear, you’re the fictional one.”
  93. “There was no 'free pie’ you moron! You stole it!”
  94. “Okay, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that my pet rock has gained sentience, just like we planned! The bad news is that it turns out he’s evil and is currently building a rock army with the intent of taking over the world. aaaand, he’s trying to get Mt. Everest on his side.”
  95. “Why is our baby on a wanted poster?”
  96. “Zombies are people too, Mom!”
  97. “… I’m gonna go for it. Hold my head for me real quick, and don’t put it on a mannequin like you did last time.”
  98. “Fascinating… I was unaware that was physically plausible.” “I know right.”
  99. “ACHOO!” “Bless you.” “No sorry, that won’t work on me.”
  100. “Bye, Felicia. Take you and your cat ears! GO!”

Prepare yourselves, because starting from tomorrow we will be making ‘100 Prompts That Will Make You Cry’ lists. Hope you enjoy this one. Which prompt do you like the most?

Gods Help Me Part 3

I know, I know, I thought I was done too. Then someone asked for more and my wheels started turning. Don’t judge me I can be as uncertain as I please. Now, it’s been a while since Elide was almost implanted. She’s almost completely healed- and Lorcan feels a lot less territorial. Lorcan and Rowan have a silent truce. All is well, until someone comes for a “visit”.

Part 2 here –> http://samaykay912.tumblr.com/post/156494742582?is_related_post=1

Part 1 here –> http://samaykay912.tumblr.com/post/156192379072

Rowan was a little flustered. He was doing his training exercises- with Elide watching. Elide was staring at him with eyes full of steel. He wasn’t going to lie to himself- it was a little unsettling. Especially since he knew Lorcan was going to come back from his hunting trip any minute. The fae prince didn’t want to destroy the rope bridge of friendship he has created with Lorcan. As Elide improved, he and Lorcan talked more- about anything and everything. We reminisced about Sollemere, discussed Aelin’s arrogance, wondered what things were like back in Terrasen. It was… calming. Rowan hadn’t want to rip anyone’s throat out in weeks. The conversations helped him feel better. They distracted him from his mistakes… for a time.

Lorcan came back from his piss poor hunting trip. He was able to snare enough rabbits to last them a while. He wanted to get as much meat as possible. It kept Elide full and seemed to improve her healing process. When he finally returned to camp- he was greeted by Elide staring at Rowan. He would of been mad- until he saw her eyes- they were her learning eyes. The same stare she gave him whenever he fished back on the boat- before it went to shit. So, he simply nodded in Elide’s direction. Rowan’s eyes went up in surprise. When Lorcan opened him mouth to explain- a knife whirled in his direction- and a cry of pain followed.

Rowan was waiting for an explanation when Elide’s eyes went from him to the forest. He saw her turn her ears- then, her eyes went wide. She bent over, pulled a knife out of her boot and threw it across the camp. A cry of pain followed. The fae prince knew she didn’t miss.

Gavriel bursted into the camp- still in his lion form from scouting. Elide then crosses the camp to retrieve her prize. Gavriel followed- Lorcan was busy smiling and beaming with pride. Meanwhile, Rowan was frozen in shock. The fae prince was astonished. No one had trained Elide- as far as he remembered. It was a miracle that she was able to make that shot- wasn’t it? He didn’t know. He’d have to ask Lorcan latter.

Lorcan was proud- Elide had grown so much. He always knew she could fight. She killed four ilken with a broken nose, a sprained wrist and cramps. He knows she can do anything she sets her mind to. Even if she never trained a day in her life- as long as she had examples to follow she could fight like hell.

Gavriel and Elide returned. Elide was cleaning her knife with her skirt and Gavriel was dragging one blacked out member of the cadre. Connall.

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the story of me and laura's date yesterday evening

so we got sushi at this place we’ve gone to a couple times, did our usual thing with sushi - we each get half of each other’s roll. we got TWO rolls each yesterday because we were hungry and willing to splurge a lil. we hadn’t seen each other in a while bc School And Also Work, so yay :)

after that we went and got frozen yogurt!! i got a chocolate concoction while laura got fruits - yes, she got lemon sorbet. fun fact: i am a way slower eater than laura! also, laura gives her phone number so i can get my yogurt for basically free (we are in the habit of paying for each others ice cream), but the cashier is having some trouble so laura has to repeat it like seven times. i joke about the cashier stealing my GIRL. but i do get ice cream for 50 cents so hey. also her car almost doesn’t start after we leave, which was a Fear Moment.

because it was a lovely sunny may evening, we decided to see if we could go over to boulevard park, which is this really nice park along the beach. for the past MONTH we’ve been trying to take a Romantic Walk there but… everyone in town goes there when it’s nice out so there’s never any parking!

this is what boulevard park looks like btw:

but there was parking yesterday, so we were able to hold hands, stare at dogs - date stuff.

we went over to a section of the beach, which is fairly rocky and covered in clam shell pieces. it’s a very pacific northwestern beach. laura wanted to see if she could skip a rock. i knew my abilities and just threw rocks into the water, which is also fun.

she goes over to this tree and decides to try and climb it in order to “impress me.” so she koalas up on a low bough.

keep in mind that on our like… fifth date she basically destroyed a toilet while i was in the other room. the depths of humility between us run deep. there’s little to no dignity here despite what we try to pretend.

but anyway. she realizes that she has gotten her foot stuck. and rather than ask for my help in easing the rest of her down to the ground, she just LETS GO and THWOMPS down. i’m like DDDD:>!!!! LAURA!!

her leg is still sticking up at a 45º angle because her foot is still stuck. she’s joke-whining about a concussion while i go oh noooo babyyyyy…!

we manage to finagle her foot out of the tree. she’s doing okay, and is bemoaning how she was trying to impress me, but now has come out looking the fool… well, i say, now you get me hovering concernedly over you for the rest of the evening, so hopefully that works.

we make our way to the coffee place and she takes an excedrin. and then we wander around the beach and docks for the rest of the evening, holding hands and just chatting and stuff. you know! except every so often i worriedly inquired about the state of her head because :((( baby :(((((!!! (this is documented in this short film i constructed later in the evening.)

at one point she decides she wants to scratch our initials into a tree with a bunch of other people’s, but she doesn’t have anything sharp enough to do it with. she does find a rock with which to scratch out a sharpied swastika, so we left something good there anyway.

we go down to a little beach where she took these gorgeous photos of me and us, and leave after laura realizes there’s another couple there Having A Moment.

and then we go down to a dock after i tell her that if she pushes me in that would most likely make me break up with her, and she agrees, except she wouldn’t go all the way to breaking up. we both worry about people’s phones and belongings when they get pushed into water. i tell her she could only push me if i was in a swimsuit, and i wouldn’t really like it even then.

this discussion lasts the entire trip down to that dock, and then we smooch on it in the light of the sunset and do not push each other in. i tell her that if i had oars and a rowboat i would row us out and we would kiss on the boat. she is very impressed. i admit i definitely do not still have the arm muscles i had in high school when i rowed for form in girl scouts. she commiserates.

and then we went and hung out at my dorm and my roommate peppered laura with questions about psychology while i read analyzations of mcr songs. then she went home and got there safe! the end.

Essays in Existentialism: FtWD VIII

Is there any chance of a FtWD update before the new episodes start up this week? Thanks for all your wonderful writing! As you know, you’re the greatest.

Previously on FtWD

The winds were gone. The calm before the storm whimpered outside with nothing more than a gentle rocking on the waveless sea. Though the summer was quickly coming to an end, the nights refused to calm themselves, were still the humid kind of hot that made the stagnant air a bit heavier than normal. Sweat gathered at the base of her neck, but still, Elyza found herself sitting in the cabin, cleaning the gun, arguing with herself.

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anonymous asked:

Hello love! I have a request if you're interested. Maybe something with ether 76 or Pharah (or both) where the two are on a mission togeather (and also sort of into each other but they refuse to say anything). The missions complete and they are ready to leave but get snowed into their hideout and evidentially won't make it back to base for New Years. But, maybe some quality time and a bottle of rum is exactly what the two needed.

((It’s almost Christmas and I’m a little bit homesick. So I am thinking about making this sappy and sweet. So I’m using the sappy old man. Sadly i dunno how to write Pharah properly. - Mod Tez))

Originally posted by damageamplified

It was originally a scouting mission down the northern part of Greece.

You weren’t too happy about working near Christmas time but the fact you were with your long time friend, Jack, made it abit better. You both enjoyed this cultural difference.

You both watched as the locals decorated in lights and angels boats, instead of the usual pine green trees. There was a warm cheer even if everyone was quiet during the day. The most shocking part was when the first signs of snow began to show.

You and Jack were meant to stay one more day and then return to Gibraltar. But the snowfall got heavier, making the both of you encased into the small hotel you stayed in, along with afew locals.

Staring out of the window in your dual bedroom, you sighed, “We won’t make it back to the others for Christmas in this weather.” you pouted and crossed your arms, ‘Oh come on (Y/N), they’ll understand. At least you’re not on your own.’ was what Jack wanted to say, maybe his feelings weren’t too valid about you. He always told himself that his infatuation to you was simply a phase, even if this phase has been going on for almost years now.

“How about we go to the lobby? I heard they have musicians every weekend night.” He suggested, making you turn your head and nod. You both stood up and began walking to the lobby.

Jack was right, he noticed the musicians setting up their microphones, tuning an oddly shaped guitar along with normal guitars. The bartender was smiling as he cleaned classes and served some people what seemed like water in a shot glass.

You sat down on one of the couches on the lobby, patting the seat beside you for him. He gladly sat down and watched people bring in more instruments, more strange guitars, all bearing intricate designs and being smaller than a normal guitar.

He was becoming lost in thought, should he take the opportunity nature gave him to tell you how he felt, would you reject him? would you even feel the same?

His thoughts were stopped as he felt your hand on his shoulder. Turning to face you, you asked, “Hey I’ll get us some drinks, what do you want?” he responded quickly, “Surprise me honey.” but he instantly wanted to kick his teeth in at the subconscious flirting. Your cheeks turned red a little as you nodded and went to the bartender.

When the music began playing, he was immediately intrigued by the foreign language, the flutes playing and the guitars that played harmonically. “If you’re the angel of the earth, if you’re the star of the dawn my gem…” he turned to see you with two small glasses in one hand and a bottle in the other, “The bartender said that I could get the whole bottle for me and what he said as ‘Γκόμενο’ whatever that means.” you sat beside him again and poured the honey gold drink in the glasses. “Into the bluest of the depths, and the heavenly treasures, golden moon”

The more the song went on, the less alcohol remained in the bottles and the more remained in your guts as you both began walking back to your room, “Let your hair loose and let me closer to you so I can see, How your white gown describes your angelic form.”

By the time you and Jack had gone back to your shared room, he was carrying you. Your face huddled close to his chest as you hummed the song that still played down at the lobby. “Mmmm.. Hey Jack?” you moaned out as the alcohol had taken a rougher punch to your brain, “Yes, (Y/N)?” he asked as he set you on your bed, but before he could go on his bed you grasped his arm, “Can we cuddle tonight?” you questioned, to which he complied by lying down with you, pulling you close to his arms as you held onto his shirt.

“Y’know Jack, I’m really stupid-” You started “No that’s not true-” he said “Oi lemme finish you dork~” you interrupted him, “I’m stupid, because I let your words always fly past me, Your kindness and care, those too, I was oblivious as all hell you know?” He watched your reddened face smile as you reached forward and pressed your soft lips against his chapped ones.

The kiss had a longing feeling to it, as if Jack hasn’t kissed anyone for decades. He loved your smell, even if the alcohol lingered on you. He cupped one of your cheeks and deepened the kiss as you held onto his shirt tighter.

When you both pulled away, your eyes were dilated, from the darkness of the room and the arousal in your systems. “You won’t believe this, I felt like an idiot for loving a girl as kind as you. It didn’t feel right when I felt nervous around you. But I never knew you felt like this.” He said as he kissed your forehead.

You smiled up at him and kissed him once again, “I love you, I love you so much” he breathed out between kisses.

As you both fell asleep you heard from down stairs the locals yell out gleefully, “Καλά Χριστούγεννα!”

Γκόμενος - Boyfriend

Καλά Χριστούγεννα - Merry Christmas

I picture Dex as the oldest of three. His younger siblings are twins, (insert two Irish names here,) and he loves them with his whole world. He’s 100% the older brother type, and that’s why he’s always working. Because neither of his parents went to college but they’re still making ends meet, but Dex wants better for (names). He wants them to have nice clothes for that middle school dance and he wants them to be able to buy the next book of their favorite series.

So even in college, while being an athlete and taking advanced math classes, he’s working. And that was the condition for him joining the team, he told hall and Murray. He’s no Jack Zimmermann, he wasn’t trying to strong arm them. But he laid out the situation, and hall and Murray agreed that as long as it doesn’t affect his playing, there’s no reason he can’t work. (And it’s not like sleep will be an issue, because Dex has been running on low sleep since day one. He came out of the womb exhausted in the way that only a 13 or 17 hour work day will do to you.)

And so he works. He works a lot. He’s taking the minimum number of credit hours so that he has time to work, and he’ll be pulling double shifts on the lobster boat over the summer to save up some money, and Dex knows hard work is what I’m saying. There is more work ethic in Dex’s left pinky than there is in the entire rest of the team, some days.

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Forsaking the Stars ch. 15

Ten years after Weirdmeggedon: After all these years, one would think Mabel would have learned to look with her eyes, not her hands. But what trouble ever came from touching a statue?

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7,Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14

The entire group shared a collective feeling of relief when they got Stan’s body encased in the Peanut Brittle, and Bill back into his own body. Not only because it meant that Stan’s body would be perfectly preserved when they got his soul back, but because Bill in Stan’s body was far too chummy, and Mabel was no longer the only one noticing it.

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Happy (belated) birthday Miranda!


Let us stretch the fesitval of captain-k-jones for as long as humanly possible! A little something for your birthday - and not a bit of angst in sight!! Thank you for being part of our network - it means a lot to know that we have our circle of friends whenever we need them.

Word Count: 2300ish

Rated: F for fluff and flirting

Based on this prompt:  My stupid friends roped me into a mall scavenger hunt and you’re on the list” AU

Cross them off (Part ½)

“Okay, everyone, grab a list.” Ruby raised her voice to be heard over the crowd in the restaurant, as she handed colourful sheets of paper to all the women in their party. “The rules are simple. We hit the clubs and you collect the things on your lists. Photographic evidence preferred. And never let it be said I didn’t show you all a good time at this Bachelorette party!”

Already less than excited about the prospect of a night of high heels and thumping music, Emma Swan turned the purple paper over cautiously, flinching slightly at the title in its 50 point ridiculous font. “Bachelorette Bingo” it exclaimed, eliciting excited hand clapping from the bride-to-be, Mary Margaret, and a sigh of defeat from Emma. Her friends were comparing notes, giggling and laughing loudly but she was struggling to join in their excitement.

Especially when she cast her eyes over the list she had been given.

  • Someone with an accent
  • Someone who has been on a boat in the last month
  • A man in uniform
  • Someone who plays an instrument
  • A hottie…why not?
  • Someone who believes in true love…bride and groom NOT included
  • Something/someone that makes you laugh
  • A cheesy pick up line that has worked
  • Free space…something that catches your eye

“So, Ems,” Ruby said, draping an arm around Emma’s shoulders and grinning widely at her, “Ready to play my little game?”

Emma narrowed her eyes at her friend. “True love?” she asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Ruby laughed. “Thought you’d like that one. I needed something to represent our beautiful bride…and there’s no truer love than those two.” Emma couldn’t disagree. Mary Margaret and her husband-to-be David Nolan were the most in love couple she had ever seen and it warmed even her hardened heart to see her friend so happy.

Still, true love was not for Emma Swan. She had learned the hard way about letting someone into her heart and it was not a trap she planned on falling in again.

“Just have a go, sweetie,” Ruby whispered, almost as if she had seen into Emma’s thoughts. “Let yourself go a bit and have a bit of fun. For Mary Margaret’s sake at least.”

Emma read over the list again and looked at Mary Margaret, who caught her eye and grinned, her eyes shining with champagne and excitement. It was contagious and Emma found herself smiling back just as widely.

“I’ll play,” she said to Ruby. “But don’t expect me to enjoy it.”

Ruby snorted. “Duly noted,” she said, “No fun for Emma Swan.”

~~~☆☆~~~

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So I finished 999 (Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors) last night.

Things I have done in various adventure games without so much as blinking:

-Waved a scythe over a giant kitty litter box to locate a metal detector buried there.
-Hacked off a companion’s hand with an alien jawbone then shoved the bleeding stump into an alien goo crystal which saves his life but turns him into a violent, semi-psychotic alien goo crystal addict.
-Faced a final boss that was a giant, angry Scout leader who tried to kill me by throwing God’s Eyes (those yarn and popsicle stick arts and crafts projects) after a level entirely based on a nightmarish 50′s dreamscape.
-Rebuilt a German concert hall so I could use Wagnerian opera to out a man as a werewolf (regarded by all and sundry as a dick move, very impolite in modern society)
-Rode a windup clockwork train through Eastern Europe accompanied by automatons looking for wooly mammoths.  Because sure.
-Traveled through time via port-a-potty
-Retrieved the moon from a fountain with a Shepard’s Crook that I got from a kangaroo rat when I gave him a book that I bought with a wooden nickel.
-Attempt to solve every single puzzle with a crowbar (my brother was always determined to make an adventure game with a massive inventory where every single solution was ‘crowbar it’ anyway)

This, however, was something different.  I have never been so stymied by a plot in an adventure game in my entire life.  Seriously.  This made no logical sense whatsoever.  

Spoilers under the cut for anyone who might want to play this game.

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Cast Iron: Part 21

I know this took me forever and I’m sorry.  But yes.  Charlie cheese man.  He is here.  

Previous Parts

Technically, it’s spring.  As in, it’s spring according to the calendar, but nothing about the wintry, frigid planes of ice hanging from Astrid’s eaves like sugar art remind her of the season of warming growth.  She wraps her blanket more tightly around her shoulders, staring between the shut bathroom door and the TV.  Hiccup is doing better but still acting strange.  He’s stopped checking his phone every five minutes like a nervous tick, flicking through calls, texts, and emails in that order, his eyebrows knit together in concentration like he could miss a new message.  They filmed the past weekend for the first time since…since the whole Eret fiasco and it went fine.  Reserved, but fine.  She actually finished a dish for the first time in a while without having to bring a different plate from the warmer in the last two minutes.  He waxed poetic on the bad rap cheese has gotten in the seafood oriented circles of the culinary world.  

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