i was making this graphic and then i started to cry because of reasons

On the complexity of words in our racialized and colonialized world, and my own liminality...

TW: Discussion of the term “g*psy,” which I know may be a triggering word to some of my American followers in particular. I’ve done my best to tag this. Let me know if I’ve left something out.

So I need to talk about this. I really don’t want to because I feel like I’m going to be attacked for doing so. But this is my life in a super literal way, and I am taking time to process all this, with my cultural background, and my personal history, and my non-belonginess, and all the other super heavy baggage I have, and my society has, with this word and this way of life.

I’ve seen the occasional post on here talking about the culture on Tumblr of sometimes oversimplifying their activism and not understanding the full breadth of certain issues, and I’m kicking myself for it even as I type, but… today I’d like to address the international complexity of the term “gypsy.” Specifically, its use in the UK.

(Oh god, what am I doing sticking my foot in this hornet’s nest…)

All I ask is that you really just read this before you rip my head off, yeah? Please. I need to talk about this.

That word does not mean the same thing here that it means in the US, where I come from.

In America, it’s a pretty negative word to a lot of people of any degree of social consciousness. In America, that word is associated almost exclusively with the Romani people, an extremely marginalized group of POC who’ve been subject to every type of violence in existence, up to and including genocide. It is almost always used as either a slur, or an ignorantly appropriative capitalist tool. They’re the only well-known group of nomadic people Americans are familiar with in relatively modern times (since most nomadic Natives were killed or had their seasonal routes cut off long ago), and naturally, it has therefore remained a very racialized term in America. As a general rule, all nomadic peoples known to Americans are POC who have suffered genocide, sometimes to the point of extinction.

It’s fucking heavy. And that is what my brain still emotionally understands, when I hear that word. I’ve felt, and feel, that ickiness listening to someone use that word carelessly, or as if it were a trendy aesthetic™. This post is hard to write, because I have to use it.

So, Americans, I get this. ‘K? Me too. And Brits, if you’ve ever wondered why this strikes such a chord with Americans, that’s why, and this might be some handy knowledge for you to have when traveling to the US: “gypsy” is not a nice word in the US, and “Traveller” isn’t a term most Americans will recognize. We don’t have any legislation protecting Traveller rights, the way you do (inadequate as they may be). If you want to refer to the Romani, use Romani. If you want to refer to Travellers as a diverse group, use “nomadic people.”

But now I live in the UK. In the UK, “gypsy” is a government-official term, and people refer to themselves and others by this term routinely. And most confusingly, to my American sensibilities, it has little to do with your ethnicity. Even ethnic gypsies are most frequently white British, in the UK (the UK has its own native nomadic populations, especially from Ireland and Scotland). But there are also non-ethnic gypsies. It’s a term that refers more to your mode of living than to your race.

My gypsy neighbors are Irish, English, and Romani. The Irish Travellers and Romani obviously have an ethnic history of nomadism. But the ethnically English do not. He’s a Traveller, legally speaking, and part of larger gypsy society. And here, that is legally and culturally legitimate. He isn’t considered an ethnic minority, the way ethnic Travellers are, but culturally has a home under both terms.

There are other slurs in the UK for Travellers, of course. And there are also people who talk about them in a racist way (*cough* Tories *cough*). If I were to draw a comparison to American linguistics, “gypsy” in the UK is much like “queer” in America. It is simultaneously a neutral and inclusive word, and a word which is often found in the mouth of bigots. It has a complex history that has both highs and lows.

I still prefer to use Traveller, because I’m American and “gypsy” leaves a weird taste in my mouth. But that only works in writing, where it is capitalized. In speech, that term could just as easily mean kids on a gap year, and it isn’t useful for specifying nomadic people. So in speech… the word everyone uses is “gypsy.” This word which gives me the willies is now a normal part of my life. It is hard for me to get used to that. But also, apprehensively positive. What a wonderful community this is. It isn’t any stupid stereotypes. I mean, the dude a couple caravans down from me is a graphic designer. It’s just a really solid community of people who are just… really wonderful.

So… this is a major part of my existence right now. Please remember that Tumblr is an international community. Not everyone you see using that word is a racist throwing out a slur. Some of them aren’t even referring to the Romani. If they’re British, they’re probably more likely to be referring to the Irish, or to people of diverse or unknown ethnic backgrounds.

It may also be something I start talking about more often, because this is now my life. I live on wheels, in a mostly Traveller community. Legally, I’m a “New Traveller” (and the idea of referring to myself that way sends off a degree of appropriative heebjeebies that’s just unbelievable, but that is the fact of the matter). That is, I would be if anyone knew I was here. But the way these things are interacting for me, and how simultaneously uncomfortable and necessary it is to learn about them given my cultural background, means that it is something that is likely to come up. Something I will need to talk about. A consuming part of my life at the moment.

These people have taken me in, in a very real way that pretty much makes me cry when I think about it. They’ve fed me, and kept me warm, and helped me keep this hell shed from tipping over. They’ve gifted me things for my craft – the part of my life this blog is about. I don’t want to avoid talking about them as they talk about themselves, or understanding the way my self-perception is changing as this is happening, for fear I’ll be mistaken for an asshole. It feels like hiding who they proudly are, because the culture I come from has a different history than they do. I don’t live in that culture anymore, and probably never will again. I need to find some way of reconciling the dissonance with the way my life is now.

I don’t think any of this takes away from the complexity of that term. And to all you goddamn Nazis, don’t you dare take this as a reason why it’s ok to fucking harass the Romani, or I swear I will hex the shit out of you. And since the UK tends to follow American trends, I wouldn’t be surprised if that term eventually goes out of vogue.

But today, it is a very different word from its American counterpart, which is essential for me to fully understand in the context of both my own life, and my experience of adopting my new culture as an immigrant. And I want people to understand where I and other people in Britain are coming from when we talk about it. And I feel a need to be understood in my own life right now.

So… This was probably unwise. I’ll take my blows I guess. I’m just reaching into the dark and hoping I’ll find some understanding. This is very much part of what kind of witch I’m becoming, and more broadly, what kind of human I’m becoming.

Something I want antis to know as a CSA survivor

I considered myself an anti for about a month when I didn’t look into the conflict.

From the base of it all, it seemed clear– Sh/ro is too old for any of the paladins and therefore they shouldn’t date. I took that as fact when research told me nothing about canon ages and accepted it because it was popular opinion. I didn’t mind it because I didn’t ship sha/adin and I’m also a csa survivor who is still recovering from multiple traumas.

But something changed my mind.

This is a LOOOOOOOOOONG ass post with a lot feeling spilled out so just a warning there.
feel free to reblog.

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2

I am so excited!!! This little book (well, 264 pages) has been about 9 months in the making, and it’s finally done. Good grief.

Basically, many of my friends at my undergrad university did Creative Writing with me, and for our final project we had to write a 6k word short story and 2k critical commentary - which, by the way, as someone who has done a Master’s since and written a 20k thesis, was just as hard as writing a standard dissertation. As a surprise to everyone, I sneakily got copies of everyone’s short stories by pretending I just wanted to read them and compare them to mine, and I made them all into an anthology, which I gave to everyone at graduation. It was a really fun project to work on, even though it took ages to proof read the entire thing and design the cover and cry over Word formatting. We called ourselves the Come Along Collective because ‘come along’ was kind of a catchphrase of ours and ‘collective’ sounded professional and artistic. Sue us, we had degrees in this shit.

In June last year, about 3 years after we graduated, we met up (a pretty big deal, seeing as one of us now lives in the US!) and decided to do another anthology. Without the immediate option of including our conveniently timed university dissertation equivalents, we agreed that it would be really fun if we all wrote a short story of between 4-15k words - this is actually why I wrote Here, the World Entire, which appears in this anthology in a slightly shorter form! Since I made that first anthology back in 2013 our friendship group has changed a little, and so one contributor to the first anthology isn’t in this one and we have a new contributor, but that’s OK; it kind of charts the progression of everyone’s experiences since university.

So, over the past 9 months or so, we all wrote a story each, and everyone put their all into their stories, despite being 23-25 now and not having the luxury of time that we used to have, and honestly, the stories are amazing. There’s not a single one in there that I wouldn’t read in a literary magazine. One person didn’t do Creative Writing and was really worried about their story not matching up to the others, but it absolutely does. I did a little cry when I read it because it was so good and the writer didn’t think it was (I think they are now aware that they are actually super talented and should definitely write more). That was one of the reasons I’m so happy to have this physical copy as proof that it’s done, and people who thought they couldn’t do it did do it, and they did it fabulously, because every single person wrote something phenomenal.

There was one person in the group who wasn’t able to write anything because they had a lot going on in their life, and so the rest of us prepared a SUPER SECRET SURPRISE, complete with a secret Facebook group chat (which was literally titled THE ONE THAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO KEEP SECRET) in which we collaborated and wrote a story for her instead so that she would still have a story in the anthology. One person wrote a section, then handed it to the next person, and so on. It turned out to be an absolutely hilarious story involving Emily Blunt as an evil sorceress, Jez and Mark from Peep Show as couriers, and our old landlord as an arch villain. It’s pretty rad, not going to lie. That person still gets their name on the cover because the story wouldn’t have been written without them; we basically tried our best to put that person’s personality into a narrative, and that’s why it’s so weird. They are weird, is what I’m saying.

This whole thing was a massive labour of love for all of us. I was literally proof reading it on lunch breaks, and taking graphic design assignments at work so that I could practice for when I made the cover (which I think looks snazzy, if endearingly off-kilter). Everyone was hugely supportive of one another, giving each other prompts and feedback whenever anyone got stuck, and it was such a fantastic experience to make it from start to finish. I’m so, so proud of the end product, and I’m excited to see what our next one will look like!

I have also prepared a super secret special surprise of my own for everyone within this anthology, which I won’t disclose here just in case any of them happen upon this post. It’s rad, though. I’m excited for everyone to see it.

This isn’t available for commercial purchase or anything like that, but it’s a personal project that’s been taking up a lot of my time lately (in a good way!) and it’ll be kind of sad not to have this to work towards. Still, onto the next thing!

The Season Finale/Bye, Boys

I know I’m late - I had to work all day yesterday and today, and when I first got those jobs I’d anticipated I’d be frustrated about missing the finale live, but, well - after last week’s episode, I mostly wasn’t interested at all. When I sat down tonight to watch it, I almost didn’t want to. I was highkey convinced I wouldn’t like it, and, yeah, I didn’t. Not particularly. I’ve suspected for a while that Supernatural lost its grandeur and sense of tragedy years ago, and all that’s left is a bunch of occasionally magnificent, but mostly unconnected, monster hunts - that they’re grasping at straws to avoid going down paths that would actually make sense because they don’t want to go there - and this finale confirmed all that with the subtlety of a badly driven tank. 

(Really - I was hoping things would be different, but they’re not. As much as this show held my hand and made me laugh and cry in difficult moments and distracted me when real life was plain unbearable, the magic is no longer there. I watched the finale with that same awful weight in your stomach you feel when faced with that one person you no longer love - when you look and look and you don’t understand how you could ever love them in the first place, and then your eye catches something - they way their mouth curves into a smile, perhaps, or the once beloved lilt in their voice, and you realize that oh, that’s how

But still, it’s over.)

So, what happens next?

The honest answer is, I don’t know. I’ve been mostly off tumblr for a week, and while I missed chatting and talking with you guys, this self-imposed break really brought home just how my world has shrunk. I tend to be very intense in what I like, and over the last year, 90% of my free time has been Supernatural. Writing stories, writing metas, creating the odd graphic, reblogging other people’s posts and ooohing and aaaawing at their creations and insight - that was great, but it also cut my mental landscape into a tiny little postcard. And this past week - I did things. I discovered new stuff, I read real books, I faffed around weird Wikipedia pages, I lost myself in other series, I planted beans and basil and edible flowers. And I liked it - a lot. So whatever I do next, I’ll be on tumblr a lot less, because - I’m sorry - I’ve been fearing for a while that Supernatural simply wasn’t worth this level of devotion, and this finale pretty much confirmed that. So - really - I’ll keep reblogging gifs and I’ll probably write the occasional headcanon and feel free to ask me things and come talk to me and everything else, but please know that I’m not that positive about this show anymore, so if you want rainbows and ponies, my blog’s probably not the best place to get them. I’ll definitely keep writing, and I hope I’ve got enough love left in me to finish my DCBB, but other than that - I think I’m done. It’s likely I’ll watch the show next year, but I’ll certainly not anticipate new episodes and squeal at the screen and bleed my own blood all over it or anything. And maybe this will hurt at some point - God, I loved this show so goddamn much - but for now I’m just numb. 

So, here goes - quite possibly, my last meta. 


Cas: Yes, They Went There

This is what we’re all wondering, isn’t it? Is Cas really dead? 

No, he isn’t. If Misha was leaving the show, we’d know about it. Like, of course they’d keep it under wraps until the last episode, but it’d be out today - no reason it wouldn’t. Plus, from a narrative point of view, Cas’ death doesn’t make any sense. He just died after fucking up - again - and he never got to make his Big Choice between Heaven and *coughs* humanity, plus they’re having so much fun jerking us around with that yeah so maybe he and Dean they’re in love thing, why would they stop now? So, honestly, his ‘death’ was his only good moment during this season finale. Like, he obviously wasn’t brainwashed brainwashed, so it didn’t make any sense he wouldn’t involve Sam and Dean in his overly simplistic scheme, plus he’s been acting stupid and out of character the whole time he was on screen - and, I get Cas is hard to write, but come on. Renting a cabin under the name James Novak when he can hypnotize it out of some guy without leaving a paper trace? Reading books and taking online classes about childbirth? This from a guy who’s not a guy at all and has instinctive knowledge of physics and whatever and knows perfectly well that thing inside Kelly isn’t a human child, anyway, so he might as well take woodworking classes for all the good that would do him? Uh. Not to mention his random snooping into alternate dimensions he knew nothing about when he was supposed to be taking care of Kelly - if AU!Bobby had killed him, or if he’d fallen into a pit or whatever else, Kelly would have remained alone in that cabin basically waiting for Lucifer to find her. Honestly - why do they bother writing Cas at all if they can’t get him right?

Destiel: Still Subtext

And more bad news: five seasons of queerbaiting - and counting. This season finale had to be the one with the least amount of UST or pining or any kind of fuckery between them since, I don’t know, ever? Sure, there were moments, and I could list them, but why should I? Look at Cas doing his own thing, and what does it matter if he was staring at the water (possibly thinking about that fish which started everything, and by everything I mean Cas’ love for humanity, and by humanity I mean Dean), and what does it matter if Dean, as usual, is the one fretting about Cas and worrying about Cas and being all undignified and unmanly? It’s been years, and Dean was unusually chatty during the whole finale, so I’m sure some of us were like, ALERT ALERT THIS IS WHEN IT HAPPENS (not me, because I’m grumpy and disillusioned), and nope, not the time. Better luck next season, guys.

Honestly, at this point there are no good options. 

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Tears On Our Tongues

The ride home after the woods

A SnowBaz fic for the Carry On Countdown


Simon

When we get back to the car, we both sit in an extremely awkward silence.  Neither of us seems to know what to do.  After all, that was possibly the most pivotal moment of both of our lives.  Where do we go from here.?

           Lips and tears and heat and fire.

           When I turn to nervously look at Baz, he’s staring straight ahead, his jaw set and his brow heavy.  He’s gripping the steering wheel with both hands, but doesn’t make a move to actually start the car.  Rain is beginning to dot the windshield, and I can see my own breath whisper into the air.

           Baz is so tense, like he’s only just fully realizing what has happened.

           Lips and tears and heat and fire.  His lips on mine.

           “Um,” I murmur, breaking the silence, “do you want me to drive?”

           He blinks like he’s snapped out of a daze and takes a breath.  “No,” he says without looking at me, “it’s fine.”  He turns the key in the ignition, and I notice his hands shaking.

           “Baz,” I reach out and touch his arm without thinking. “I’d really prefer if I drove.”

           He doesn’t flinch at my touch like I expect him to.  He just stares at my hand on his skin with an odd expression, like he’s trying to figure out something complicated.  Like he’s thinking how did that get there?

           It’s not looking like he’s going to move, so I open my door and walk around to the driver’s side, and only then does he actually get out of the car.  He doesn’t look at me as he passes, barely brushing me with his coat on the way.

           When we’re both in our seats, I start the car and turn us around, heading back the way we came.  I turn on the heat because it’s freezing in here, but not the music. As much as I want to break the silence, I can’t ignore the fact that this isn’t just the normal we-kissed-what-now kind of awkward.  This is the you-almost-killed-yourself-and-as-a-result-we-kissed kind of awkward, which is slightly heavier than the normal awkward.

           Lips and tears and heat and fire.  His lips on mine.  Tears on our tongues.

           I sneak a glance at him.  He gazes at the window.  Not out, just at.  

           “You okay?”  I know it’s a stupid question, of course he’s not, but I have to ask.

           He shrugs and very slightly shakes his head.

           “I know it sounds dumb,” I say quietly, “but it’ll be alright.  You’ll be okay.”

           He doesn’t look at me.  I’m starting to wonder if he ever will again.

Baz

I nearly killed us. I nearly sent us both up in flames and then had him against a tree snogging the life out of him.  And here he is asking if I’m okay.

           Point for him though, because I’m not.  Of course not.

           Lips and tears and heat and fire.  His lips on mine.  Tears on our tongues.  His mouth, so full of heat.

           I’m not okay, and now I’ve let him see in graphic detail exactly how not-okay I am.  I could not have made myself more vulnerable in front of him, and the thought makes me want to curl into a ball, erase the whole thing, make it never happen.

           Except for the kissing.  That part can stay.

           Even though I have no idea if he meant it.  It might have been a final attempt to pull me out of my suicidal funk.  Even the kisses after the fire was out were probably just pity kisses, albeit very desperate pity kisses.

           “Baz,” he says quietly, and I feel him glance at me, “how long… um, how long had you wanted… that?”

           “Forever.”  It comes out without a thought.

           “Oh.”

           “Since fifth year.”  Both are true.

           Simon thinks for a moment.  “Why didn’t you say anything?”

           “You had enough reason to hate me.”

           “I don’t hate you.”

           “You did.”

           “I always thought you hated me.”

           “I did,” I nod, “until I loved you.”  His head whips to face me and I scrunch my eyes shut.  I can’t believe I just said that.  “Until I didn’t hate you anymore,” I try to fix it, but I know it’s too late.  It’s out, it’s in the air between us, and it’s going to stay there forever, taunting me with how he’ll never say it back.

           “Baz -”

           “Please,” I grit through my teeth, a tear squeezing out of my eye, “I can’t.”  The tear makes its way down my cheek until it drips into my mouth, and the taste is like Simon.  I will probably forever associate the taste of tears with kissing Simon.

           “Okay,” he whispers, and we’re quiet for the rest of the drive.  I try to keep my sobs silent, but I’m sure he’s hearing them,

           I could have killed him.  If he’d died, it would have been my fault.

           Tears on our tongues.

           When we finally pull into my driveway, I climb out of the car as soon as we’ve stopped.  I hear him call after me, but I don’t pause.  I slam the car door and start stalking towards the house.  It’s so over for me.  I thought I was ready to die in the woods?  I hadn’t been kissed by the boy I love who will never love me. How am I supposed to live with that?

           His footsteps on the driveway are quick like he’s running after me.  I keep moving, tears blurring my vision.

           He catches up to me at the doorstep, throwing himself between me and the door, blocking my entry.

           “Get out of the way, Snow,” I mutter, looking down. We’re under the porch light now, he’ll be able to see what a mess I am, and I can’t look at his expression.

           “Baz, please.”

           “Please what?” I snap.  “What do you want?”

           I make the mistake of glancing at his face and I find tears running down his cheeks.

           “I want you to know that you’ll be okay,” he sobs, “and that I want you to be okay.”

           “I nearly killed you, Snow,” I say, shuddering, “how can you possibly want me to be okay?”

           Lips and tears and heat and fire.  His lips on mine.  Tears on our tongues.  His mouth, so full of heat.  Flames licking at my vision.

           “You wouldn’t have,” he shakes his head, “you were going to spell me away, and for some reason, that’s more upsetting than if you’d tried to kill both of us.”

           “What makes you think I would have saved you?”

           “It was in your eyes.”

           Right now his eyes are full of something I don’t recognize.

           He takes my hand tentatively.  “I need you to know something,” he tells me through his sobs, “because you probably think that it was a sympathy kiss.”

           That’s exactly what I’m thinking.

           “Please never think that.  Never think that the first kiss, or any kisses after that were out of sympathy.  I kissed you because I wanted to, a lot more than I realized.”  He sniffles, his eyes pleading.  “I’d kiss you again right now, and tomorrow morning, and every day after that and none of it would be out of sympathy, and I need you to understand that.”

           I’m shaking like a leaf.  Because I’m tense, because I’m cold, because I’m in some kind of shock, because of Simon’s words.

           “You’d kiss me again?” I choke, unable to believe what I’m hearing.

           He goes pink and he’s smiling and crying and laughing all at once, and I finally recognize what’s in his eyes because it’s exactly the same thing as what’s in mine.

           He doesn’t answer with words.  He stands on tiptoe and takes me by the lapels of my ruined suit, pressing his mouth into mine and it fits like we’ve been doing this forever, like it’s second nature.  His lips taste like tears again and I’m certain that the taste of tears will always be bittersweet to me now, a reminder that no matter how bad it gets, Simon Snow kissed me because he wanted to.

           And he would again.  He is right now.

           And he would tomorrow morning, and every day after that.

MITSU’S TOP TEN ANIME OF 2016

Wow what a shit year! Not for anime, I mean, it was okay at worst. I think we’re definitely at the upward slope of the anime renaissance now, but still at the very start of it. It’s hard to think about that when most of what comes out (and is somehow popular) is just…the most generic shit. Well, I did the work for you. I weeded and trudged through some of the worst anime around and even some of my shit favorites to bring you the actual good, worth watching anime of the year.

Yeah, not everything you saw or want to see on this list is here, but you can check my foreword from last week that explains all that garbage. Links to each anime’s respective review will be on the titles (and added for those that just finished). Know that this list is pretty fluid. From 8 or 7 up, it’s all very much I loved them, but the higher up, the more I recommend anyone watch them.

10. Magical Girl Raising Project

Madoka was cool. I finally watched it this year and I was just as blown away by the psychological aspects as I expected to be. It just lacked that extra bite it needed to really scare my pants off. MGRP however, did indeed take a few years off of my life. I’m really in ruins right now since I can grab you by the shoulders and tell you now: you’ll like a lot of these characters and their thought out designs and personalities, but don’t get attached, cus ALMOST ALL OF THEM DIE.

I have to put MGRP on this list because aside from its fun and original designs, awesome interactions, cool-ass premise and execution (sometimes literally), it had some amazing rewatch value. I watched this anime three times, which is a lot to do in one year. I just had to watch people’s reactions and seeing stuff hidden in the background and revisiting some foreshadowing was so much fun. Definitely worth a watch and I’ll cover more about it in my upcoming review.

9. Orange

Regrets, like I have over not putting Kekkai Sensen into last year’s list, are the main theme of Orange. Buried under the shoujo themes of romance, high school, and angst, lies the actual regret: letting a friend kill himself. The main story unfolds itself very slowly as the group of friends discover that is what they must prevent, but it’s done in a realistic way. The signs of depression and suicide are so jokingly cast aside; it’s no wonder people miss it before it’s too late.

The climax of this story was heart-pounding and gut-wrenching. You find yourself rooting so hard for there to be success, to save someone who may not want to be saved, but must be saved. It might also make you pay closer attention to those around you. It’s an important anime to watch. If you do want one with a little less romantic emphasis though, I recommend you see Colorful instead (or also!).

8. Sweetness and Lightning

I need to marry someone who can cook. It doesn’t have to be a five-star chef, though I wouldn’t complain if it were the case, but Sweetness and Lightning reignited my need to be fed well. The show is about how food brings family and friends together. Aside from the great character interactions, well written children characters, and for god’s sake, the beautiful, perfect looking food, this anime was so pure in the amount of love put into it.

The food tops even some shown in Shokugaki no Soma, purely cus it’s doable for someone with a low skill level (like me), the meals are made for picky eaters (like me), and there’s not a ridiculously emphasis put on the orgasmic nature of food. That’s a thing that Shokugeki no Soma and even Koufuku Graffiti used stylistically in a comedic manner, but it doesn’t fit in Sweetness and Lightning for good reason. This show is accessible in that way, making it easier to show to someone who might want to try anime, but doesn’t want all the sexy fanservice.

7.Drifters

Kick-ass and Metal come to mind when Drifters is mentioned. I love Kohta Hirano’s previous work, Hellsing, a lot. It was a massive gore and blood fest with a sprinkling of comedy in the mix. This is a war and gore fest with a, not a sprinkling of comedy, but more like Hirano accidentally knocked the bottle of comedy over when he was checking on the oven directly into said mix. It’s really funny, but also really awesome. I have a lot to say about it in my review, but I think a dog fight with dragons involved kind of state my case for me. Also Elves, Dwarves and other Tolkien demihumans and monsters abound. It’s fun.

The animation is also gorgeous, especially that stylized, graphic novel looking opening theme with the rock anthem “Gospel of the Throttle” making you “NA NA NA NA NA NA” along with the characters every opening. It’s an excellent show to watch with friends or get yourself pumped. Returning sometime next year!

6. Kuromukuro

How can something be so trope-y, yet so damn enjoyable? Kuromukuro isn’t an original concept, but is done in an original way. The samurai trapped in a machine for 500 years is the new exchange student. The reluctant heroine needs to board the mecha to fight the alien threat. The school festival has been compromised by an alien mecha entering the atmosphere. This anime is funny, but it’s also emotional and holds a much wider scope than I ever could have expected. P.A. Works has been putting out some good contenders in the last few years, and with their lovely art style and well-balanced budget, they were able to pull off this massive mech story in an engaging and entertaining way.

I applaud the cast for one of the best ensembles on this list, bringing forth some of the best and most memorable character chemistry of the season, and some hilarious situational humor. I also cried a little near the end, but honestly, a lot of anime on this list did that to me this year.

5. My Hero Academia

Shonen anime is such a delight now, always a favorite of mine as a kid, but not as firmly as now. I love the underdogs; I love the over the top villains; I love the powers, the fights, and the yelling to infinity. It’s just so exciting and blood pumping, and MHA made it so refreshing with such an interesting spin. These characters are children, inexperienced, with quirks that may or may not be useful. I love Deku because his anxieties and general feelings of being less than everyone else not only make it exciting to see him overcome them, but to use them to keep his head and ego from getting over inflated like some shonen protagonists. Bakugo is such a good foil to him, showing where this could be a major weakness to a shonen protagonist.

Also it’s coming back with THE TOURNAMENT ARC, and if you’re like me and haven’t started the manga yet, DO IT! You won’t regret it! I’m more than excited to see more of this awesome anime in action.

4. Flip Flappers

This anime, wow this anime. I’m so upset not more people are talking about it, but have you seen this delight for the senses? I’m looking forward to reviewing it now just because my jaw is still kinda on the floor. Beautiful animation, a crazy cool style, and some of the best nonsense in magical-girl but not really fight scenes I’ve seen in a while. This anime reminds me of something, but I can’t quite put my thumb on it. I do know it’s like an amalgamation of my editor’s anime “TYPE” so you’ll see more about that in the review.

But good lord did I love the heart of this show. The pure romance, the exciting battles, the trippy psychological horror. Let me just say, that one episode (the Maria Watches Over Us “GOKIGENYO”), probably has scarred me for life, but I love it. It’s just so different and good. It deserves a watch, just for how delighted your eyes will be.

3. Erased (Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi)

I love a story that can get you emotionally invested and cheering for or yelling at the character who you don’t have any control over. Erased was paced beautifully (though some might disagree due to the slight differences in adaptation), and its animation only made every silent, tender moment more enjoyable to look at before the lighting and mood would change and the feeling of bloodlust would stain the air. That’s how you write suspense.

I’m a little annoyed because apparently some other people were reading some character motivations “differently,” (looking at you crunchyroll), but I think it’s safe to say this doesn’t cross the line into romance, at all, and stays a thriller about growing up in a life-threatening situation.

2. Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu

I love the theatre, and I love comedy and storytelling. This anime manages to hit both of these points while showcasing some of the best animation I’ve ever seen. On top of the animation, there’s good directing, and supporting that is a great soundtrack. The story is vast and covers several characters’ lives over several decades surrounding World War 2.

The rakugo, though, is what makes the story. It’s not the first anime to touch on this topic, but it’s the first to do so in such an interesting way. It was very refreshing compared to a lot of titles on this list (though many of them are refreshing ideas!) with its originality. It’s heartfelt, it’s serious, it’s funny, but it also makes me want to cry. If it weren’t for the top spot being so hype as hell and generally a weekly freak-out among me and my friends, this would have been number one.

1. Mob Psycho 100
What can I say about Mob Psycho that hasn’t already been said? Its opening is gold, its animation is unique and interesting, its writing, directing, and characters are all praise-worthy. It is just hands down the best anime of the year. You may be thinking, “but Mitsu, One Punch Man was number one LAST YEAR. Isn’t Mob a little overhyped?”

No. Sit down and shut up. One is probably one of the best writers on the scene right now and is doing a lot better at writing genuinely empathetic characters and commentary on modern anime genres and tropes than most of the big budget barf fests. I think the “overhyped” talk is nonsense when it comes to mob. It genuinely does some interesting and groundbreaking work. That’s why it’s not only on this list, but number one. It never moved an inch since I decided it should be on the list.

Everything I’ve said has BEEN said by several really good reviewers and critics out there and you should definitely check out what they have to say about it too, because honestly, they’re a lot better than I am. I like Mob Psycho, I like One Punch Man, but I like Mob more. I’m so delighted that One Punch Man will be returning shortly and I only wish for Mob to also share the spotlight, as it deserves.

Things I Learned in my First Year of Vet School

1. Vet school isn’t fun. It’s not supposed to be. You will spend most of your time studying until your head is spinning. But it’s also not unbearable. You can do this!

2. Cramming doesn’t work anymore. In undergrad, I was never one of those studyblr students that has perfect notes and starts studying a month ahead of time. I was able to get away with one or two nights of studying for most tests, and a few minutes for most quizzes. That’s not the case anymore. I plan out which lectures I’m going to study every day so I can get all of them in by two days before the test. Then I review everything the night before the test.

3. That said, even if you were a studyblr type student in undergrad, your previous study methods might not work anymore either. I used to just look over notes over and over again until I had a majority of it in my short term memory, spit it out on the test the next day, and then forget most of it. Now, there’s just too much information for that to work anymore. Or, maybe it’s more that professors ask much more specific questions on tests, so having a general idea of everything doesn’t work. I had to go to making flashcards using Quizlet to study, and making sure I go over all my lecture notes a second time once I get home. If what you’re doing doesn’t work, find something different, because you don’t have unlimited chances. Also, the earlier you start studying, the more wiggle room you have if something comes up - a mental health day, an emergency, etc.

4. Failing a test is not failing vet school. You can pick your grade back up. C=DVM.

5. You have time for just about anything you want to make time for. Now, you can’t do everything, of course. This is vet school and you have approximately 2.5 full-time jobs’ worth of class and studying to do every week. You do have to pick and choose things. But if you want to read books, you can do that. If you want to join clubs, you can do that. If you want to play sports, you can do that. If you want to go out on the weekends, you can do that. Now, you might not be able to do all of those (and probably definitely not on the same day), and you might not be able to do them consistently every day/week, but you can still do them. You just have to decide what is a priority for you and schedule your studying around that. And believe me, you NEED to make something besides vet school a priority, or you’re going to break down.

6. Your classmates can be some of your best resources. We all have different backgrounds. For example, I have a lot of large animal experience, which many of my classmates are lacking. Several of my classmates are from states where vet tech licensing is pointless because Joe Schmoe can come in and do cystocentesis, read ear cytologies, and place IV catheters, whereas in my state you can’t do any of those things without a license. One of them is helping me design my wedding invitations because she was a graphic design major. Discover who you study the best with and stick with them! And don’t count someone out immediately - my two best friends here are people who I thought I wouldn’t like when I first met them.

7. …and they can also be one of your biggest sources of stress. Especially if you live with them. Vet school is a lot like high school - you can’t escape the people you spend 8+ hours a day with. Everyone knows everyone. Word travels fast - you don’t want to end up being the one everyone avoids. Keep your head low, and avoid living with classmates your first year if you can.

8. You’re not competing anymore. Don’t act like you are. There are try-hards and gunners in every class. Nobody likes them. We’re all going to be vets in the end, so there’s no reason to annoy everyone else by being a teacher’s pet or constantly trying to demonstrate how smart you are. Nobody likes someone that complains about getting an 87 when you could’ve gotten a 90. On that note - DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYONE ELSE! Just because you got a 75 and they got a 95 doesn’t mean that they’re any better than you are or will be a better vet. You know what they call the guy that graduated at the bottom of his vet school class? A doctor.

9. You need a support system. There will be plenty of crying, and you’re going to need someone who can remind you that you can do this, and everything will be all right. Whether this is made of your best friends back home, your family, your SO, or your new friends you make here, it’s a necessity!

10. You can do a long distance relationship if you make it a priority. See #5. I did it, and I have lots of classmates that are doing it too. It sucks, but it’s doable. This requires a pretty solid foundation though - your 3-month relationship is less likely to survive than a married, engaged, or otherwise long-term relationship. It’s a good idea to take a hard look at your relationship and make sure that this is something you really want to spend time on. You don’t have time for relationship drama in vet school, and you definitely don’t have time to be distraught over a breakup.

11. Look at everyone else’s cadavers. If your school is anything like mine, you’ll be asked questions on everyone’s cadavers. If you get your choice of dog cadaver, pick the biggest one you can. It’s easier to find things in a bigger dog.

12. If you need help, ask for it. Whether this is for study help from professors, counseling from the school’s service, or money advice from the financial office, the resources are there - use them!

13. You have to take care of yourself. Sleep, actual food, and taking breaks are super important. An economics concept is in play here - the law of diminishing returns. There comes a point when the amount of studying you will need to do in order to get any more points on your test is so exponentially steep that it will actually be a better idea for you to do something else to improve your grade - and that’s called self care. You can’t know everything, so don’t kill yourself trying.

Stupid Cold (Dean X Reader)

●Repost

Relationship : Dean Winchester X Reader

Warnings : demons, spanking,consensual sex , death,mentions of violence, graphic scenes.

Rating : Mature + (Please do not read if you are under-aged)

Summary : You’re a hunter, living with the boys in the bunker for some time now. Although you started as friends, soon enough friends with benefits, you and Dean finally decided to admit your feelings and became an item. The feeling is strong so you both get scared and react in different manners : you became overly attached and Dean feels suffocated. It should be one of your typical days but Dean has a cold , feels bad and snaps.
Lots of fluff and some makeup sex. Enjoy

CopyRight: I do not own Dean Winchester, Supernatural nor any of the other characters mentioned in this story.  No copyright infringement is intended .

Originally posted by littlehobbit13


Life hasn’t been that kind to you. A hunter your whole life and not by choice. Your parents were killed by an avenging spirit when you were only six. You don’t recall that day entirely, and nothing much from before actually… what you do remember is the wrinkled old man who got you out of the closet where you were hiding and said: ‘It’s alright kid, I’m here now’.

 He soon became your family and hunting with him your way of living. 

Losing him to werewolves broke your heart but you moved on burning his remains and drowning your sorrow in whiskey, at his favorite bar. If there’s one thing that he taught you besides being a skilled killer, that is to be strong and cold. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

what are some of your favorite numbers from musicals?

OH MAN. I’m going to try and break it down by musical, so I’m not so overwhelming. Otherwise we could be here forever. I’m also only going to do musicals that I’ve seen in the theater. Here we go:

  • Les Misérables: “On My Own.” I’ve spent my entire life singing this song, I’ve known the lyrics by heart since I was six. While I have all the musical memorized, I’ve never been able to shake the long standing effect of this song. I grew up wanting to be Éponine, not Cosette (read into that what you will). There are other, bigger numbers, like “One Day More,” “I Dreamed a Dream,” or personal favorite “In My Life,” but I can’t drop the raw emotion of this number.
  • Wicked: “Defying Gravity.” This one is for the physical number, more than the song. Gay anthem “For Good” makes me cry, “As Long as You’re Mine” is probably the sexiest song ever put on broadway, I can sing “Dancing Through Life” for fucking ever, and honestly “The Wizard and I” is the one I’ve listened to the most (I sing it loudly in my car a lot. That song has BUILD). I even have some serious feelings about “Thank Goodness.” But in the theater, and I’ve seen Wicked maybe five times now, it knocks you out every single time. It’s the best of Chenoweth and Menzel. And when they lift her in the air…you can’t beat it. This is THE intermission break.
  • Spring Awakening: “Touch Me.” Man, this is a hard choice. One of my favorite musicals because all of the songs sparkle, and some especially stand out for the blocking on stage. I personally love “My Junk,” “The Bitch of Living,” “The Guilty Ones,” and “Don’t Do Sadness” so fucking much, and that’s just the start. But this one has such a tenderness, and a build, that’s unmatched in musical numbers. The whole song is about orgasming, and it simulates that as well as music can. You can’t really get better. 
  • Rent: “La Vie Boheme.” Can I choose every single song? I only picked this one because I learned all of the lyrics when I was 14 and was so incredibly proud of myself. It’s also so fun and specific to this musical when played out in the theater. But I love all of these songs. Second fav is “Take Me or Leave Me.” Surprise favorite is “Goodbye Love” which I will belt like it’s my jam. 
  • Hamilton: “Satisfied.” Now this one wasn’t difficult. It was the song I fell in love with when I first listened to the album; it’s the number I first cried to when I saw the musical in New York. I can connect to every single song in this musical, but nothing starts to match the choreography and ingenuity of the Helpless/Satisfied number. I was amazed when I listened to the song, and even more so when I saw it in person. Renée is a national treasure.
  • Next to Normal: “Why Stay/A Promise.” There are so many songs I prefer, like “Superboy and the Invisible Girl,” “I Miss the Mountains,” “Everything Else,” and especially the refrain in “Make Up Your Mind/Catch Me I’m Falling.” But this song, on stage, fucking slays. It brings back so many riffs from the beginning and focuses in on these four people and the parallel between them, reminding you of the point, of what the musical is about. The harmonies are on point and the lyrics manage to accomplish a matching dissonance. Amazing. 
  • Anything Goes: “Anything Goes.” I have such a good time watching this musical, but this song honestly has the best hook and it’s incredible to watch. In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking but now god knows, ANYTHING GOES.
  • Phantom of the Opera: “All I Ask of You.” It’s the only song in the entire musical I can listen to and not get caught up in the abusive implications. I also grew up on this musical, and I think these lyrics may have been my first words. Probably my total favorite song is “Think of Me,” but I’d honestly jam to all of them. 
  • In the Heights: “Breathe.” There are some real bangers in this musical, like “96,000″ and “When You’re Home,” but this is the one that stuck with me the longest. That BUILD, the PAUSES…one of the best individual ballads ever to appear on Broadway. Lin never let us down
  • Throughly Modern Millie: “Only in New York.” I love all of these songs, and there are certainly more exciting ones. But this one is a ballad if I’ve ever seen one. I sing it all the time in the shower. 
  • Mamma Mia: “Does Your Mother Know.” Who doesn’t love ABBA, but my favorite number to watch is this one. My favorite song is probably “Lay All Your Love on Me,” or “The Winner Takes it All,” but this one is so much fun, and every time I see the musical the interpretation is different. 
  • Fun Home: “Ring of Keys.” This number manages to capture the feeling of the graphic novel in a way that none of the other songs do. A kid sings it, and it fucking rocks. 
  • West Side Story: “America.” Obviously. If you have a different fav, you’re wrong.
  • Sweeney Todd: “Johanna.” In a lot of ways, I hate Sondheim’s musicals. But this song burrows its way into my brain and never lets go
  • The King and I: “Shall We Dance?” This is clearly the best number, especially because the last time I saw this musical the set kept moving while they danced, and she was in that GIANT DRESS, it was so impressive. But my favorite song is “Something Wonderful.” 
  • Cabaret: “Maybe This Time.” We can all agree. I do a great 20′s style version of this song when I’m drunk.
  • Once: “Falling Slowly.” The only reason to watch this musical. 
  • Legally Blonde: “Chip on My Shoulder.” I truly love so many riffs and individual lines in this musical (the break down in “Serious” which I once sang with a boy who was in love with me go figure, “girls like you always get to see Ireland,” the either side of the door harmony in “Legally Blonde” that fucks with my already dark childhood Luke Wilson complex. But this number is so much fun, and even through the mansplaining, the hook is great. 
  • Shrek the Musical: “I Know It’s Today.” This musical never needed to happen, but this is such a great and overlooked number. The harmony and switch off between the three Fionas is so well orchestrated. Plus that refrain…..it’ll get stuck in your head for a month. 

Honestly I’ve seen a lot more musicals, but I didn’t want to pick a specific song from them. 

Robin’s Nest: Part 6

Prompt: Where the robin’s were Bruce’s and Batmom’s biological kids

Words: 1517

AN: This was edited by my wonderful team of beta’s who continue to plow through my stories.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5


You sit in the chair and wait. Your heart is beating a mile a minute, and your stomach is flopping, and you feel like you’re going to be sick, but you push the feeling down. You’d curl into Bruce but that’s a bit impossible at the moment, since he’s wearing the suit. You know exactly where that suit has been and what it has been through and you have no desire to touch it. So, you settle for his hand on your shoulder, drawing all the comfort you can from it.

          “Everything is going to be fine Y/N.” He tells you, his voice a bit deeper and rougher than usual.

          You give a grim smile, “You forget; I know exactly who you deal with Bruce.”

          “He won’t be going anywhere near those psychos. Muggers, and low life’s only for tonight, and the next few years. I’ll send him home at the first sign of real trouble.”

          “You can’t control everything Bruce. He’s going to keep getting better, and eventually he’ll be beside you in the thick of everything. Even the Joker.”

          His voice is a growl, “He’ll never come in contact with him. Not if I can help it.”

          You just smile, and allow yourself to believe that for the moment. That thought allows you to put on a smile as Dick comes out of the training room. His outfit is red, black, and yellow, and despite the mask, you know you’d be able to identify him from a mile away. He looks adorable in his cape, and you really wish he was just going trick or treating, and not out to fight Gotham’s worst.

          It all started a few months ago, about a month after he turned ten. He asked to go on patrol with Bruce. You had never really kept Bruce’s after hours’ activities from the kids. You just didn’t tell them anything until they got older. Eight was when things were explained. Which meant only Dick and Jason currently knew the entire truth, and the fact that no one could know.

          Over the past three years both Dick and Jason had taken to their martial arts training like fish to water. Bruce had steadily increased their regimen, and now you were fairly certain they could handle almost any situation. That didn’t mean you wanted them to be crime fighters. Bruce was more than enough, thank you very much.

          Dick had begged for days, and eventually it had been Jason who had convinced you. He had looked you in the eye, and said: “Mom, Dad can’t do it all alone. He’s going to need help, and it’s better to start now, rather than later.”

          You give your consent the next day, along with an entire list of rules. No patrols on school nights, no major villains, and Dick has to follow every single order Bruce gives. And now here you are. You watch them go with trepidation in your stomach, and when they return and Dick tells you that it’s the greatest night of his life, you want to cry. You’d really hoped that he’d hate it.

          That night Bruce holds you while you cry. You do your best to not think about it, over the next year, and Batman and Robin take on more and more dangerous missions. When the night you fear actually comes true, you throw up. Dick comes home with his uniform torn, a broken arm, and under the influence of scarecrow’s fear gas.

          You and Bruce hold him while he screams, as he lives out his worst fears. When it finally wears off Dick is soaked through his clothes, and you keep him home from school for the next week, claiming the flu. After a week at home he’s begging to go back out on the streets, despite the nightly nightmares. You just don’t understand it.

          Before you can say no, Bruce does, and walks away. You know the guilt is eating him alive. You don’t blame him, how could you? You’d consented.

          When Dick doesn’t come tearing into your room due to a nightmare, you go and check on him. You find him wide awake and crying. Sitting down next to him, you pull him into a hug and hold him until the sniffling stops. When it does, he makes one last plea, “Mom, I need to go back out. Batman needs Robin.”

          You try to reason with him, your voice soft and gentle, “Dick, sweetheart, if I were to lose you . .  .”

          “You won’t. I need a chance to conquer my fears, mom. Running from fear just intensifies it. You and dad taught me that.” His voice is so sure and confident; it reminds you of Bruce. It reminds you of Bruce telling you that he was going to find his parent’s killers, and that he was going to save the city they loved so much.

          The more you think about it, the more Jason’s words come back to you. He can’t save the city by himself. You silently curse your husband for passing down that damn nobleness to your children. You just kiss Dick’s forehead, and sing to him until he falls asleep. Once he’s out you go in search of Bruce.

          You find him in the cave, stitching up a new wound. You silently take over the stitches. When you’re done you slide on to the gurney next to your husband and say words, you never thought would come out of your mouth “You’ve got to take him back out Bruce.” Bruce remains silent, knowing you’re not done. “He wants to conquer his fears, because running from fear just intensifies it.”

          Bruce smiles at the line. It’s the same Thomas Wayne had told Bruce when he was a boy. It was the same line Bruce had told you when he decided to leave and train, and it was what you told him when you joined him.

“Figures we’d end up with well-rounded, noble kids, who actually listen to us and throw our own words back in our face, but I can’t take him back out there. You were right, Y/N, I can’t guarantee his safety.”

          You give a sad smile, “We can never guarantee his safety Bruce. There’s no guarantees in this world, he could get struck by freaking lightning Bruce! But I know that his chances of survival are a lot higher with you than with anyone else. And we both know that kid is so freaking determined that eventually he’s going to try and sneak out and do it by himself.”

          “You really think so?”

          You smirk, “He’s your son Bruce, I’m down right certain of it. Just like I’m certain that you’ll do everything within your power to keep him safe.”

          Bruce smiles, “There might actually be one more thing I can do.”

You raise an eyebrow in question and listen.

          The next night Dick is dressed and ready to go. You’re once again sitting in the chair, this time Jason is sitting in your lap, content with being snuggled for the moment. You doubt it will last much longer, he’s already ten, and you’re fairly certain that both he and Dick will soon begin the process of pushing you and Bruce away in favor of friends. So you snuggle him a bit tighter.

          Dick comes out in his brand new uniform. It looks exactly the same, but you know minor adjustments have been made, and that his utility belt now includes a portable gas mask. With a smile on his face, he faces you and asks, “Well, what do you think?”

          You smile, “You look adorable.

          Dick groans and Jason laughs, “Robin, the adorable boy wonder! He knocks the bad guys out with his cuteness!”

          You give Jason a tight squeeze to stop him, as Bruce comes out. He’s in his own suit, and looks as serious as always. It’s a sharp contradiction to Dick’s cheerful smile. Dick bounces over to his father and asks, “So, where to first?”

          Bruce allows a little bit of a smile before saying, “Happy Harbor.”

          Dick’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, “That’s not in Gotham. Why are we going there?”

          Bruce allows a full out grin, and it just looks wrong when he’s wearing the cowl, “We’ve been invited to join the League.”

          Dick pesters Bruce with questions as they climb into the batmobile and once they’re gone Jason asks, “What’s the League?”

          You smile “A group of people with the same ideals as your dad.”

          Jason rolls his eyes as he jumps off your lap, “Dad kicks major butt by himself, and if he does need help he has plenty of it right here.”

You nod, already knowing where this going, “Speaking of which, when do I get to start going out with Dad and Dick?”

          “The League offers an extra level of protection for your dad and Dick. And you can start going out when I feel fully confident that you will listen to everything your father says and follow his every order.”

          Jason scowls, “So never?”

          You shake your head “No, I know that I can’t keep you home forever. You’re just as stubborn as your dad, and your just as good a fighter as Dick. I just need a bit of adjustment time.”

          “You’ve already had a year.” He points out.

          You just smile, “We’ll talk about it when you’re older.”

          “Like when I’m forty?”

          “How about we talk about it when you turn thirteen? And in the meantime, maybe you can start with helping with the computers.”

          Jason perks up a bit at that “Really?”

          You nod, “Damian and Helena are hell on wheels, and Tim is in all those advanced classes, I could use the help. But there are rules.”

          He’s smiling now, “I’ll take anything!”

          “No working it on school nights, no looking up graphic cases, and you follow all of my orders to the tee.”

          He hugs you, “Sure, whatever you say!”

          Taking full advantage of the opportunity you hug him back, tight, and face the facts. Crime fighting is just as much a family business as Wayne Enterprises is.


Ages are as follows at the end of the chapter, after Dick has been Robin for a year,

Batmom and Bruce- 32

Dick- age 11

Jason- age 10

Tim- Age 7

Damian and Helena- Age 4

Seb/Bucky Fic Recommendations

Bucky

You’re Mine And I’m Yours (fluff, smut)

Take Care Of You (smut, some fluff, angst)

Busted (series w/ some smut, fluff, and angst, reader is Tony’s daughter)

Let Me In (x|x|x|x|x) (shy reader, lots of angst, fluff, some smut at the end)

Untouched (x|x|x|x|x|x) (smut, virgin!Reader, virgin!Bucky)

I Wanna Fuck You Like an Animal (smut, shower sex, dom!Bucky)

Teaching (professor!Barnes AU, smut, dom!Bucky)

Five Sweaters To Make You Want Me (angst, fluff)

Roommates (kinda smutty, fluff)

Flirting 101 (fluff, platonic!Sam x reader)

Best Friends (lots of angst); Friends (angsty, depressive, sad!Bucky); More Than Friends (some angst, fluff, happy ending)

Slow (love making, fluffy first time, insecure!Bucky)

Animals (high school AU, mostly smut, car sex)

The Five Times Bucky Barnes Kisses You (angst, fluff, smut)

Good Grief (miscarriage, angst, sad af, happy ending)

Say Something (angst)

I Almost Told You (pure smut)

I Can Be Your Dick (smut)

Cherry Pie (smut, stripper!Reader)

Love Me Like You Do (shower sex, love making)

I Love You Okay? Happy Now? (angsty, jealous!Reader, happy ending)

Only One (smut)

I Warned You (teasing Bucky over the phone, smut, dom!Bucky)

Nightmares (smut, slight fluff)

Beg For It (smut, cocky!Bucky, sub!Bucky)

Roses (fluff, smut, daddy kink)

Earned It (masturbation, smut, Bucky helping reader get off)

Soft Scruff (smut, fluff, hot af *cough cough*)

I Need You Though (smut, 40s Bucky before he ships off)

Days Like This (Bucky taking care of you while you are on your period, fluffy af)

You’re Right (angst, fluff at the end)

Loathing (angst, insecure!Bucky, fluff)

Sleep Deprivation (smut, cocky!Bucky, you longing for him and blushing and dripping when he flirts with you lmao)

A Better Form Of Therapy (smut, kinda graphic gif hehe)

Green With Envy (smut, jealous!Bucky, rough!Bucky, spanking)

Babygirl (smut, Buck’s nightmares)

Mission Save-The-Princess (angst, angry reader, fluff at the end)

Help (smut, dry humping, you and Bucky are on a mission and you have to sleep in the same bed at the hotel)

Treat You Better (angst, cheating, fluff, overprotecting! Bucky, the reason I love this song to death now)

Sunday (fluff, you comforting Bucky after another nightmare)

Hiding Hickeys (fluff, a lil smutty)

After A Mission (angst, fluff, Bucky being sad and lonely after a mission)

Bubble Baths (fluff, and basically the cutest fucking fic ever)

Closet Sex (smut)

Seriously, What Is Poking Me (foreplay, horny Bucky *winky wonk wonk*)

Best Bang For Your Buck (smut, the whole team places a betting pool on you and Bucky, and catches you two banging)

The Quiet Game (smut, fingering, graphic gif)

Secrets (fluff, awkwardness, platonic Steve and Sam)

Hands All Over (smut, slight fluff, dirty talk, mutual masturbation, 69)

Victoria’s Secret (smut, sex in a changing room, thigh riding, daddy kink)

Mine (smut, possessive!Bucky)

Sebastian

Make Me Feel Better (fluff, smut)

Want You Babygirl (legit the best smut I’ve read in my entire life)

What You Do To Me (college AU, light smut)

Animal (smut, handcuffs, Seb speaking Romanian)

Olympus On It’s Knees (smut, cocky!Sebastian ;))

Never Again (smut, sexual tension, daddy kink)

What You Started (angst, fluff, smut, actress!Reader)

Do You Remember? (smut, you are Seb’s housekeeper)

Indecent Proposal (smut, threesome with Chris Evans *wink wink*)

Can’t Help Falling In Love With You (fluff)

Another You (angsty af, cheating, happy ending tho)

I’m Yours (angst, cheating, sad ending, the reason I cry every time I hear Secret Love Song but still love it more than life)

Busy (fluff, smut, thigh riding)

Spin The Bottle (fluff, heavy make out session, shirtless Seb, jealous!Seb)

Esti Al Meu (smut, jealous!Seb, possessive!Seb)

Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too (phone sex while Seb is filming in Ireland); Ireland (rough smut)

Drabbles, One-shots, Imagines

Dating Bucky Barnes Would Include

Love Man (Bucky and reader get caught by Tony and Sam. Smut mentioned)

It’s what a best friend is for (blowjob for Virgin!Bucky

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby (Sam, Nat, Wanda, and Bucky have a conversation about your Sex Life)

5 Times Bucky Sees You Shirtless

Bucky drabble (prompts: stop, make me, I know; Bucky teasing you while you’re driving)

Fingers (short smutty drabble)

Ridding Bucky’s Thigh (daddy kink)

Nope, I’m Out (your dad Tony Stark knocks on the door as you are having sex with Bucky)

I’m Never Sending You Nudes Again

Need a Hand (Bucky jerking off)

Taking a Shower with Bucky (sad/insecure!Bucky, you comforting him in the shower, no smut)

Wearing Bucky’s Clothes

Sex with Bucky Barnes

Imagine This (smutty)

Because I’m In Love With You! (a bit angsty, fluff)

More Than Words (insecure!Bucky, fluff)

Dreamcatcher (fluff, you helping Bucky with his nightmares)

The New Kid (fluff, Peter can’t keep his mouth shut, spilling some of Bucky’s secrets to you)

I Found (Bucky’s POV, kinda angsty and fluffy, this is honestly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read *cries for eternity*)

You have to film an intense sex scene with someone else and Seb gets jealous (short drabble, no smut)

Spending The Night With Bucky Would Include (FLUFF)

Diary (mentions of smut, cocky!Bucky)

Ultimate Ship Meme

Truth (playing truth or dare with Bucky, Steve, Nat, Sam, and Scott)

Taking A Shower With Bucky Like

Accidentally In Love (fluff, poor lil Bucky accidentally falls in love with you)

You Are In Love (fluff)

Cute Couple Moment With Seb (fluff, ft the bronze tattoo)

A Few Fluffy TJ Fics bc baby deserves love

Camping

Cough Syrup

Insolence, Pt. 12 [Adam Cole]

Title: Insolence, Part Twelve of Twelve  (The End)

(Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven)

Characters: Adam Cole/OC(Brenna)

Genre: Fluff. Romance.

Length: ~5,000

Warnings: Language/cussing. A little touching but nothing remotely graphic. I’d give it a PG-13.

Summary/Inspo: “We never truly get over a loss, but we can move forward and evolve from it.” - Elizabeth Berrien

“If I ever get the nerve to ask,
What did I get right to deserve somebody like you?
I wasn’t expecting that.” - Jamie Lawson


@catie-kaboom @libby-rose-2016 @legitlunatic @valeonmars @superkixbaybay @danapotterwwe @alexahood21 @rollinstrash @covergirlcollarbones  @hiitsmecharlie  @tearsropsandtiedye @thedeboniardevistation @ily-zaddy @wweismyguiltypleasure @darwarsnoam @bulletbaybay @megan-monroe @pjanina13 @msgem

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hinakoma fanfiction masterpost

Okay, so yesterday I Googled “komahina fanfic masterpost,” and while I did find a post by @mykawaiinaomi (@thekomahinafucker) which can be found here, and even though it was very helpful and mentioned many great fics, it was kinda outdated (posted in 2015). So, of course, I decided to take matters into my own hand and make another! Just to be clear, I have read the majority of these stories, but there are a few that I am in the process of reading or are on my marked for later list.

Keep reading

One Year

Requests: “kol eating y/n out??”

You swung your door open to reveal Kol standing on your doorstep with his wicked grin and flowers in his hand. You blushed and pushed your large framed glasses up your nose. Kol stepped inside, closing the door behind him and pecking you on the cheek and then handing you the flowers. You sniffed them and blushed again, it seemed like a rather expensive bouquet. 

“Happy one year.” You beamed up at him, and in return, he kissed you sweetly on the lips. To this day you wonder how Kol could have any mortal he wanted and chose you. It had been the best year of your life, explaining family problems to each other and he revealed his biggest secret to you. Despite him being a thousand years old, you trusted him with your life. 

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Book recs for Hufflepuffs!

Gif source | More recs: hufflepuff (pt. 2), ravenclaw (pt. 1 and pt. 2), slytherin (pt. 1 and pt. 2), gryffindor (pt. 1 and pt. 2) | text by @viegsen and @juan-nieves

House traits: trustworthy, loyal, kind, just, friendly, patient, hardworking, dedicated, inclusive

  • FEMINISM IS FOR EVERYBODY, by bell hooks - non fiction - Hufflepuffs care about justice, equality and inclusion, and they aren’t afraid to fight for what’s right. Helga Hufflepuff never stood for discrimination of any kind and for this reason I would recommend this amazing and inspiring work by bell hooks, which presents a passionate theory of feminism sure to appeal to the socially-conscious Hufflepuff!
  • THE PRINCESS BRIDE, by William Goldman - fantasy - Adventures aren’t just for Gryffindors! And in any case, The Princess Bride is about lots of things, not least of all perseverance, endurance and working hard for revenge (like Inigo) and for true love (like Westley). A funny and hearwarming story that could be read aloud in the cosy Hufflepuff common room for everybody to enjoy.
  • A LITTLE PRINCESS, by Frances Hodgson Burnett - children’s - “I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren’t pretty, or smart, or young. They’re still princesses.” I dare you not to cry when reading the story of Sara Crewe, a kind-hearted girl who goes from the most pampered student in an all-girls school to the lowliest servant when her father dies, and stays just as loving, friendly, generous and patient, because even all the terrible things she suffers cannot change the fact that she’s a princess in her heart.
  • FANGIRL, by Rainbow Rowell - YA; romance - Cath is a Hufflepuff with crippling social anxiety. When she goes to college, she has to juggle the challenges of her new life, a bad home situation, a new distance from her twin sister, and a crush on her intimidating roomate’s cute boyfriend, Levi (also a total Hufflepuff). It can be quite sugary-sweet at times, but I think Hufflepuffs will appreciate the characters a lot.
  • PERSUASION, by Jane Austen - romance - Anne Elliot is unfailingly dedicated to her family. When she’s 19, she’s reluctantly persuaded that her engagement with naval officer Frederick Wentworth is beneath her family’s status, and gives up on her love. She spends years being treated terribly by her family but enduring it with the patience of Job. When Frederick reappears in her life, he’s rich and respectable, and looking for a wife, while Anne (at 27) is quite “on the shelf” by Regency standards, but strong, quietly dignified and much more mature than the girl she was. Could Frederick ever forgive her? Could Anne hope for a chance of happiness?
  • COTILLION, by Georgette Heyer - historical romance - Did you know that Georgette Heyer is the inventor of the Toaster Strudel Regency historical romance? Cotillion is absolutely hilarious (it’s actually more of a comedy than a romance, really) and follows Kitty and Freddy, who get up to all sorts of hijinks in London after getting fake-engaged. They are consistently underestimated by the people around them but are, of course, as trustworthy, kind, friendly and dependable as you’d expect from two Hufflepuff cuties!
  • SCANDAL IN SPRING, by Lisa Kleypas - historical romance - Daisy Bowman is a nice, romantic, kind girl who is told by her father that if she can’t find a husband by the end of Spring, she would have to marry the bridegroom of his choice, Matthew Swift, whom Daisy hasn’t seen in years, but considers to be cold, aloof and ruthless. As they reacquaint themselves, however, the idea of marrying Swift starts looking decidedly attractive…
  • RADIANCE, by Grace Draven - fantasy romance - Ildiko and Brishen are nobles who enter into an arranged marriage to seal an alliance between their kingdoms. Just a teeny, tiny, problem: Brishen and his people aren’t actually human. This is a cool twist on the Beauty and the Beast story because both parties think the other is a Beast. But Ildiko and Brishen are both decent people who try to make the best out of a difficult situation and end up forming a deep friendship. If being a Hufflepuff is all about accepting those who are different and not being judgmental, these two are definitely Hufflepuffs.
  • THE BOOK THIEF, by Markus Zusak - historical fiction - Liesel Meminger is a girl who comes into the care of Hans and Rosa Hubermann feeling like there’s not much in the world that isn’t scary or dangerous. However, through the patience, humor, warmth and kindness she finds in her new surroundings -even during WWII in Germany-, she slowly begins to see everything in a different light. This book is filled with tons of Hufflepuff characters that not only see the value of being accepting and compassionate, but of actually following those feelings with actions that benefit those that might need it most.
  • THE COLOR PURPLE, by Alice Walker - historical fiction - Set in rural Georgia in the 1930s, this epistolary novel tells the story of Celie, a black woman that has to live a life filled with as many hardships and heartbreaks as you could imagine. Don’t let that depressing summary convince you of not picking up this book though, because what makes it great is that it’s actually a story very much about the triumph of the human spirit. Celie sees the world in a really moving way, and it helps to show you just how big of an impact empathy and acceptance can make in someone’s life.
  • MAUS, by Art Spiegelman - graphic novel - This graphic novel set tells you the true story of Art Spiegelman’s father, who was a survivor of the Holocaust. Here you’ll find a man that, in true Hufflepuff fashion, works carefully and relentlessly to make the best he possibly can out of a horrible situation for himself and his family. As with most of literature set in or about this time period, you get to see how it in some ways shaped the man he was later in life, but that doesn’t prevent you from seeing just how intelligent and perseverant he always was.
  • THE HISTORY OF LOVE, by Nicole Krauss - fiction - I honestly think this book is better if you go into it not knowing much about it, but I’ll tell you this: it has 3 stories that are linked in one way or another, it’s a book about human relationships and the endurance of love, and it will probably make you very very sad and very happy at the same time.
  • UPROOTED, by Naomi Novik - fantasy; romance - This book may have been marketed as more of a romance but the most important relationship in it is the friendship between Agniezka and Kasia. You could argue Agniezka is actually a Gryffindor on account of the many brave deeds she performs to save her friend and her village but I just think she has a very laid-back, Hufflepuff vibe, and more than bravery it is her loyalty and empathy that define her.
  • DAUGHTER OF THE FOREST, by Juliet Marillier - fantasy - [tw: rape!!!] Sorcha, the protagonist, is very much a Hufflepuff. She is fiercely loyal to her six brothers and her people, and kind even to her enemies. She is really into plants and healing (herbology, anyone?) and always rushes to help those in need no matter their social station or if it will get her in trouble. And when her brothers are cursed she really goes above and beyond to save them, in an impressive display of patience and hard work.
I Dare You - Chapter 4 - JohnTen - Mafia Leader x Detective - Soulmate!AU

Chapter 1 - Intro ; Chapter 2 ; Chapter 3 ; Chapter 4

Trigger Warning: Offensive Language, Graphic Descriptions

Genre: Angst, Mafia!AU, Soulmate!AU

——-

Ten was still sitting on the same old couch, but it was somehow different now.

When he sat on this couch before, he was miserable.

Broken.

Defeated.

He used to sit on that couch and cry for hours.

He used to sit on that couch and name every single reason he hated what he had had to become.

He used to sit on that couch and name every single reason he did not want to live this life, considering he’d still want to live at all.

And how could he? His own family no longer knew who he was, and he had no one close to him because of his… occupation.

Worst of all? He had no soulmate.

And that meant that he would never be loved.

It meant that he would never find anyone in this life to accept him and help him through it.

It meant that when he really did need someone there for him, be it to listen or simply for emotional support as he leaned his head down on their shoulder, he would have no one.

It meant that he had no place to call home because he had no one to come home to.

It meant that he was all alone.

But not anymore.

When Ten had woken up, face cracking with the salt from the dried tears, the first thing that hit him was the realization that:

A. His surge of emotion had actually reached someone.

B. Someone understood his pain and actually sent back a hug. A hug.

C. He had a soulmate. And his soulmate had reached out to him when it mattered most.

Ten was not amazed, he was overjoyed.

Ten woke up to cry again, but out of happiness this time.

Making sure to drink more than just the water from his glass this time, he had scrambled out of his position frantically, dazed and his body numb from his sleeping position and lack of mobility.

But he didn’t care.

He had a soulmate.

He was more than just glad to know that no one else would be in that room with him, because he had actually started jumping, running his hands through his hair and holding it up with the widest grin on his face as he ran around the room like a maniac.

He was insane. A downright lunatic.

A lunatic with a soulmate.

And the soulmate actually cared.

At that moment, everything stopped.

The world stopped for Ten.

Time stopped.

His thoughts halted at only one particular idea.

And he was ecstatic.

He had an escape to be who he really was.

To who he’d always wanted to be.

Mafia boss or not, Ten was not a fighter.

Ten was always softer than people needed him to be. Never as tough as he should be. Always more sensitive than necessary.

But why would it have been a problem?

That was just who he was, and he never understood the problem with him being the way he was.

So what if he cried when he got upset or felt overly emotional? So what if he wanted a soulmate to hold? So what if he wanted someone else’s warmth to become his home?

He didn’t choose his fate.

He was forced into it.

And that did not mean he ever accepted it, or ever will.

Smiling to himself despite the constant tears that were now getting in the way of everything, he reached over for the closest pen and scribbled down on his arm, first thanking his soulmate with a cute smiley, then doodling for them and wishing them a restful sleep.

I bet they’ll think it’s cute, he thought softly as he finished up the drawing of a fluffed pillow.

And then he was suddenly frowning.

What if they didn’t like him?

What if they weren’t into all the cutesy stuff?

Ten shook his head, trying to shove all the inflitrating thoughts away, but by then, one in particular had already wormed its way into his mind and filled him with dread.

Desperation filling him, he slid down in his seat, the world stopping once more as he choked back another sob and screaming at the top of his lungs, tears now steaming hot and filled with anger.

What if his soulmate knew who he was?

What if his soulmate knew what he was?

He covered his eyes as the tears ran down the sides of his face to the back of his head, leaving a trail.

Please, he thought, pleading. Please don’t leave me.

He hiccuped, feeling pathetic but hopeless. Why him? Why did this have to happen, and why was it him it had to happen to?

I just found you.

Please, please let me show you who I really am, he begged, pressing the mark once more.

Please be the one to love me for who I really am.

——-

Johnny awoke with a jolt, a stab of pain jerking him up in the bed as he felt his heart hurt and his stomach clench, mind filling with anxiety and despair.

In his mind, all he could hear was the echoing sound of honey, like if a broken angel were whispering into his mind; begging, crying.

Please don’t leave me, I just found you. Please, please let me show you who I really am. Please be the one to love me for who I really am.

Johnny’s heart shattered with every word, his own tears escaping as he realized that this wasn’t something he could simply ignore as he wished.

His soulmate was in pain, and he needed him.

His soulmate was reaching out to him.

My soulmate, the thought echoing as the reality washed over him.

Before he could really think about it or change his mind, he reached over to his bedside table and grabbed the pen he kept there, taking its tip to his arm.

I’m here, he wrote, and he meant it.

And then slowly, knowing that he probably needed it more than his soulmate did, he drew a matching smiley next to his sentence.

Nothing happened for minutes, and Johnny was beside himself with worry. Had he fainted? Worse? What was going on?

Hey, are you okay?! he scribbled incessantly, almost driving the pen’s tip through his skin with the fervor he was writing with.

His soulmate never wrote anything back.

He never had to.

Johnny was overwhelmed within seconds, gasping for breath and panting as he reveled in this raw emotion that he’d long forgotten.

It was like sitting in a blanket, your arms wrapped around the love of your life as you said nothing, sitting in comfortable silence as you listened to each others’ hearts beating.

Love. Belonging.

Home.

That was the first time Johnny laughed and cried simultaneously, and he stared at his arm fondly as he sent his overwhelmed state over to his soulmate.

His soulmate.

Draco Abuse

Pairing: Fred x Reader
Request: Hey! I love your imagines <3 I was wondering if you could do a super fluffy one where you broke up with draco because he was super abusive and a liar, so you are heart broken and then fred tries to cheer you up and make you happy, and you fall in love with him, so he confesses his love and you say yes? and then draco and fred fight because draco wants you back but you reject him? It would make me really happy, as I just got out of an abusive relationship.
A/N: To the anon that requested this, I’m really proud of you for getting out of your abusive relationship, because I know from personal experience how toxic that can be. a lot of people lose sight of their self-worth and feel as though the abusive partner is the only one who will love for them. I am so truly happy that you got out of that destructive relationship, and I hope you know that you never deserve to be hurt by someone else, because they don’t have the right to manipulate or hurt you. sadly a lot of people are in your boat with domestic abuse and related issues, and, again, I’m just really glad you got out of it, because it’s a terrible cycle to be in and it almost feels impossible to get out of. Stay true to you boo, and just know that you deserve to be happy with who you are as a person, and if someone can’t accept you for who you are, then they don’t deserve your time. Lots of love <3
Also, I’ve just realised that this wasn’t exactly fluffy oops, i got carried away with the plot AS USUAL!
Squicks: a bit of domestic violence as you’d imagine from the request


“What the fuck was that?” Draco asks you angrily, after dragging you to an empty classroom. It was lunch, and just beforehand, Draco was with you and his friends outside, when he started showing off and trying to impress the others. He went into graphic detail about you and his “alone times”, making fun of how bad you were and how good he was, when you retorted with ‘maybe sleeping with me would be more fun if you could last for more than one minute’, to which he was not impressed with.

“You were making fun of me in front of your friends,” you say, trying to stand up for yourself against your boyfriend, Draco.

“You keep your mouth shut when I’m around them, you got that?” he spat, stepping threateningly closer to you,

“I’m your girlfriend, you’re meant to care about me more than your pathetic ego,” you say back,

“This conversation is over, Y/n,” Draco says, beginning to walk towards the door “And you’re going to hold your fucking tongue next time I’m with my friends if you know what’s good for you”

“You can’t keep treating me like this!” you say, louder than you expected,

“Yeah? And why not? You’re my girlfriend, Y/n, and you’re going to do what I say, you should know that by now,”

“Then go get yourself a house elf, because I’m done being pushed around and manipulated by some dickhead with daddy issues!” you shout.

Before you could defend yourself, Draco was charging towards you, and backhanded you across the face, causing you to fall onto the floor.

“We’re over, you stupid bitch,” Draco says menacingly, walking away.

“Hey, who the fuck are you talking to?” you hear someone say from the doorway behind your now ex-boyfriend.

As Draco turns around, you can see Fred Weasley standing there, his eyes widened and shocked, seeing you on the ground with your hand up to your cheek.

“Piss off Weasley, this’ got nothing to do with you,” Draco says angrily, walking towards the doorway blocked by Fred, assuming he’ll move.

Fred looks between you and Draco, starting to realise what’s happened,

“You better not have hit her, Malfoy,”

“So what if I did, the slut was being a bitch so I gave her what she deserves, it’s none of your fucking business,” Draco replies with a voice of entitlement. He attempts to walk past Fred, but the redhead pushes him up against the wall and starts shouting and swearing at him. The two get into a fight, hitting one another and shouting. You can’t help but feel responsible, so you get up and try to pull the two apart, when suddenly Draco grabs you by the hair and slams your head into a desk, when everything blacks out.

——————

“Guys, guys, she’s waking up,” someone whispers loudly, but your eyes hasn’t quite adjusted yet.

“Shit, is she alright?” another voice says quietly,

“That’s a nasty looking bruise she’s got going,” the third says.

You begin to see clearly your surroundings, with Fred, George an Lee looking down over you.

You were lying down on someone’s bed, your head pounding and things still seeming blurry. Outside the window was no longer sunny, but now dark with the moonlight coming through. It was about 10pm now, ad all the boys were in bed, probably not asleep, but keeping very quiet.

“Was I passed out?” you ask. bringing a hand to your forehead,

“Only for the past eight or so hours,” Lee Jordan replies,

“Minus the few times you’d wake up for a few seconds and pass out again…” George added.

Fred was sitting at the end of the bed, staring out the window.

“Fred, you better fill her in,” George says, standing up and patting his brother on the back, before whispering a quick goodnight to you, followed by Lee.

“Fred?” you ask.

Fred turns to face you, and you can just make out from the moonlight his swollen lip and a deep cut above his eyebrow, his cheek looking swollen too.

You let out a gasp and cover your mouth with your hand. You start to remember the fight he and Draco got into when Fred was standing up for you. And now, you’re remembering everything that happened between you and Draco. You start to sob into your hands, thinking about all the damage you’ve caused. Fred quickly moves next to you and wraps you in his arms, letting you sob quietly into him.

————

Once your breathing had finally returned to a reasonably steady pace, Fred took it upon himself to gently sit you up so you were looking at him.

You sniffled and looked up into his eyes, that looked sad and hurt. He glanced between your bruising cheek and your tear stained eyes, looking more and more saddened.

“I’m sorry, Fred,” you croak out,

“Sorry? Y/n, why are you sorry? Fred asks, confused and slightly shocked,

“For crying for so long and being so stupidly upset”.

Fred stared at you for a few moments, as if looking for the right words to say,

“Y/n you should never feel like you have to apologise for being upset,” he says, “No one should have the power to make you feel scared or uneasy, let alone make you feel like you should be ashamed about your feelings”.

You let out a deep sigh, wishing that Draco could’ve been more like Fred.

“You’re staying with me tonight, alright? I hope you don’t mind,” Fred asks quietly, “it’s just that you might have a concussion and I can’t take you into the girl’s dorms since I’m a boy, and I kind of want to make sure you’re safe anyway, so…” he trailed off, running a hand through his hair.

“Thank you, Fred, for letting me stay here and for standing up for me against Draco,” you say, still feeling guilty for everything that had happened. even though you were starting to recognise that he was in the wrong and not you.

Fred smiled at you sadly, before looking away and staring into his hands in his lap, looking more lost in thought.

“Let me grab you something to change into,” he says once out of his trance.

Fred digs through his trunk and pulls out an old top that looks like he’s definitely grown out of, and some sweat pants for you to change into.

You were usually made to feel very self-conscious about your body when around Draco; scared of what he would say or think, but around Fred, you felt more comfortable. You took off your school shirt and skirt, leaving you on his bed in your lingerie.

Fred turned around to see you, and his eyes widened immediately. You were scared that he thought you were ugly or disgusting, but he wasn’t. You now felt quite vulnerable of him looking you up and down, maybe checking you out, but he wasn’t.

“Are all of those bruises from him?” Fred asks you so quietly that you could barely hear it. You look down to see your arms and legs, covered in bruises shaped like Draco’s fingers from whenever he took his anger out on you. You could remember the story behind almost every set of bruises, of when he would lose his temper or blame you for something that had happened.

You pull Fred’s shirt on over your head, not wanting to think about all the times Draco had hurt you. Once you were covered, Fred gently put his hand on your arm, his thumb rubbing your shoulder.

“You don’t deserve this, Y/n,” he whispers, “you don’t need to put yourself through this anymore”.

“Fred, are you always going to look out for me?” you don’t know why you asked that, but you did without thinking. You felt safe and protected being with Fred, and wanted him to always be there for you; not just to save you from Draco, but, there was something more.

“Absolutely,” Fred whispers back, resting his forehead on yours,

“Good,” you try to reply, but it was so quiet that you could barely hear it yourself. It felt so cliché, but also so right, to just lean forward slightly and place your lips on his. You didn’t want to rush  things since you only just broke up with Draco, but you feel such a strong connection with Fred, and you didn’t want this moment to slip away. Thankfully, he kissed back, nice and gently. He wasn’t rough like Draco was, but rather soft and caring.

You thought that what you and Draco had was love, but it wasn’t, it couldn’t have been further. The way that you felt right now, with Fred’s hand resting on your cheek as he kisses you back, his other hand still resting on your arm and his thumb rubbing your shoulder soothingly, that’s what love felt like. You thought love was when your heart skips a beat, but now you know that it’s the safety and freedom your heart has when you’re with Fred. You thought that Draco coming back to you after every argument was love; how he would forgive you when you weren’t even in the wrong. It wasn’t, this right here is.

All of this from one kiss. You’ve felt safer right here in this moment with Fred than you ever did throughout your relationship with Draco.

That says a lot, not only about Draco, and not only about Fred. It says a lot about you, and that you deserve to shine and be free: free from pain, free from manipulation, and free to be happy. Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.


A/N: Sorry it’s been a while, I’ve been super wrapped up in University stuff and life! There’s so much I want to say about the seriousness of domestic abuse, because it’s such a huge issue. Stay safe everyone!

Examples of Dead Fandoms, Part Two

Go here to read part one.

Let me reiterate something I said before: I actually don’t want to be right about any of these fandoms being dead. It always makes me sad when people lose passion for something, and something worthwhile goes unread or unseen.


The Pulp Heroes (the Shadow, Doc Savage, etc.)

The Shadow was the first and most famous of the larger than life magazine heroes, mostly published by Street & Smith, who came out during the Great Depression. They weren’t superheroes, exactly…but they were too uncanny, too bigger than life, their adventures too bizarre and fantastical, to be typical adventurers or detective heroes in the usual sense…they were in the same ballpark as Tarzan or Zorro, a kind of “transitional fossil” between grounded detective and adventure characters, and the later far out superheroes. 

I realized the reach these novels had in their own time when I heard this amazing story about none other than jazz great Thelonious Monk: he was obsessed with Doc Savage magazine. When he performed, the jazz man sometimes had a Doc Savage magazine rolled up in his coat. I have a hard time imagining that!

The reason the pulp heroes went away and stopped having pop cultural cache is simple: the audience for it went away. You have to remember that pulp hero stories were always a composite genre, meant to appeal to two audiences simultaneously: kids, who loved action and fantasy and heroism, and working class men, who also love action, but who also loved lurid mystery and gore. To appeal to working class men, there were always way more hints of blood, gunplay, dread/terror, and sex, but because kids also read these, it was all very subdued. If you realize that pulp heroes were meant to appeal to these two very different audiences with conflicting desires, the question isn’t why the pulp heroes went away, but rather, why they lasted as long as they did. 

What took the kid audience away from the hero pulps could be summarized in two words: superhero comics. Sales on pulps fell every year when they had to compete with comics, and the history of the pulp heroes in the 1940s is defined by their reaction to the challenge of comics, a little like the history of movies when they had to compete with television. 

There were three big reactions to comics in the 1940s from the pulp magazines: 

  1. They dissed comics. This reminds me of the 50s movies that called television “the idiot’s lantern.” The best example of this I can find is the Doc Savage mystery, The Whisker of Hercules. By all accounts, Doc Savage author Lester Dent hated, hated, hated comic superheroes, particularly Superman, who exaggerated the traits of his own heroes beyond what he felt an audience would believe. Whisker of Hercules is a novel where Doc finds criminals who who take a potion that turns them into Superman, gives them superstrength, the ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound, and the ability to move at superspeed, but in the end, they are ultimately bested by Doc Savage, who outsmarts them and reveals the Whisker of Hercules ages them to death. Lester Dent, you see, felt superhero comics were a passing fad without staying power.
  2. They created characters that were both in pulp magazines and in comics as well. An example of this would be Ka-Zar and Sheena, who was in both comics and pulp magazines simultaneously. Today, we’d call them “multimedia properties.”
  3. They created far-out pulp heroes that were aimed at a kid audience to lure kids back to magazines. The best example of this is Edmond Hamilton’s Captain Future, which was a pulp hero who was extremely kid-friendly, with robot sidekicks and a cute mouse pet, and a base on the Moon. 

While the kids who read pulp heroes were lured away by comics, the working class men were pulled away by a new invention: the “men’s adventure” paperback novel, which could have explicit sex and violence. James Bond (Casino Royale was first published in 1954) was more typical of the paperback heroes, as was gun-toting Mack Bolan the Executioner, a special forces guy who came back from Vietnam to find his family killed by the mafia, and who declares war on the mob with his special forces training and arsenal of firearms (he also directly inspired a certain Marvel Comics character you might be familiar with). 

Just like almost all pop music is either Beatles or Stones inspired, nearly all men’s adventure heroes are some variation of either James Bond or Mack Bolan. This leads us to today, where men’s adventure novels are either porn, or gun porn. If you’ve read this blog long enough, you can probably guess which one I like better.

Here’s another thing to consider when wondering why the pulp heroes went away. The Shadow, Doc Savage, the Spider, are really only a few years older than the superheroes. They were not separated by a geologic age, the way many histories lead you to believe: they came out in the same decade as each other. Doc Savage came out in 1933, and Superman came out in 1938, which is not really that much time difference at all. The difference may be that there is a publishing company (DC Comics) that views Superman and Batman as essential to their identity and that keeps them alive for that reason, whereas no company does that for the pulp characters. In fact, there was even some dispute early this century as to whether the Street & Smith characters fell into the public domain. 


Original Battlestar Galactica

I used to post old cosplay pics, and my gosh, were there ever a lot of OBSG images. The actor who played Boomer was a regular at early science fiction conventions (there was a time when it was considered unusual for celebrities to visit conventions), and when a new BSG show was announced in 2003 (believe it or not, there was once a time that a hard reboot of an old scifi property was rare), it led to one of the all-time biggest nerdrages in nerd history.

I hesitate to say this, but part of the reason that Star Trek and the Next Generation are discovered decades later by new fans is because they really are good shows, and OBSG is…well, it’s a challenge for a new person, with fresh eyes, to see just what got everyone so excited in 1978. The reason why BSG was a big deal is clear: most people who are fans of it are fans because they watched the show when they were children, so it’s imprinted in their minds (rather like 90s kids and “Saved by the Bell” or “Power Rangers”). OSBG fandom isn’t growing for the same reason that “Saved by the Bell” fans aren’t growing: it’s a product of hormones and nostalgia, you “had to be there” to get it. 

To me, this explains perfectly why people went ballistic when a BSG reboot was announced back in the stone age, 2002. For one, the concept of a reboot was so new that I remember I heard people wonder if this means their favorite characters from the original were dead now. More importantly, though, this is a fandom with a few core people who remember BSG from when they were kids, and therefore have strong feelings about why it works and doesn’t work. 


Prince Valiant

Here’s a test to determine if a fandom is dead: if a movie adaptation royally screws everything about it up, would people get angry and yelly and passionate? Remember how people got death threats over the M. Knight Shyamalan Last Airbender? Well, in the case of Prince Valiant, I don’t think anybody would actually care. This is surprising, because for years, when people thought of comics, they thought of Prince Valiant: he was emblematic of an entire medium. Years before the prestige of Maus, Persepolis, and the “graphic novel,” it was the one comic that was classy, that adults were alright reading. 

Why is it no longer popular? Well, copy and paste everything I said on Dick Tracy about newspaper comics here. But also, if you ever run into someone who really loved Prince Valiant back in the day, ask them why they liked it. The answer should be incredibly telling. Most likely, they’ll tell you they loved the beautiful art, that they loved the great style of Hal Foster’s godlike pen. They loved the sweep of the story and the epic feel. 

Here’s what they won’t say if you ask them: they probably won’t say they liked the characters. (I can’t think of one adjective to describe Prince Valiant’s personality - he totally fails the RedLetterMedia test). They won’t remember any moment that made them cry or made them feel a rush of triumph.

I swear, it is not my intention to be a hater and drink some haterade. That’s really not in my nature, because I am a positive person. The whole point of this blog is for me to share cool old stuff I love - negativity has no place here. But there’s a dishonesty, a willful obtuseness, in trying to understand why Prince Valiant stopped being a phenomenon, and not realizing that Prince Valiant is beautiful looking, but it doesn’t give us the things about stories that “stick to our ribs” and make it stand the test of time: great characters and memorable, earned moments. Praising a comic for having beautiful art is like praising a movie for the great special effects. You don’t want the one thing people to remember about your hero to be a haircut. 


John Carter of Mars

The fandom for John Carter of Mars is a little like Barsoom itself without the Atmosphere Factory and water pumped from the depths of Omean: dead.

To the modern eye, one of the weirdest parts of Carl Sagan’s Cosmos series is the 3 minute digression in the episode on Mars where Sagan starts talking about how he was the hugest John Carter of Mars fanboy ever, and how he dreamed of rescuing beautiful women in gallant swordfights on thoatback, with his fanboy narration intercut with shots of Frazetta and Michael Whelan cover art. This really happened. And this was typical of the kind of passion that John Carter of Mars inspired that you don’t see much of today. It’s so easy to blame the tanking of the movie adaptation, but the movie failing was a symptom, not a cause, of the fact there was no hungry audience to receive it.

Sagan was a huge John Carter fan: his car had a “BARSOOM” vanity license plate, and he wasn’t alone: without hesitation, I would say that Edgar Rice Burroughs was the most important and influential scifi writer of the first few decades of the 20th Century, so important that everyone defined themselves as either Burroughs-like (Leigh Brackett, for instance) or rejected the tropes ERB created (see: Stanley G. Weinbaum). John Carter of Mars didn’t inspire Star Wars. Instead, he inspired the things that inspired Star Wars (e.g. Flash Gordon). Edgar Rice Burroughs, not Faulkner, not Hemmingway, was the best selling novelist of the 1920s. 

Remember the last time I did this, and I was sincerely baffled why the Tripods novels have not had a revival? Well, when I got to John Carter of Mars, the answer came to me: the reason is that this work was so influential, so ubiquitous, that it has been strip-mined of creative power by imitators to the point that very little about it seems original anymore. Tripods, if it came out now, would just look like a Hunger Games rip-off despite the fact that if anything, it’s the other way around. The problem with John Carter of Mars is exactly the same: remember how the response to the trailer to the film adaptation was that this was Avatar Goes to Attack of the Clones? When, actually, Avatar and others got a lot from the Barsoom books. In other words, because John Carter was influential enough to create cliches, paradoxically, it is now seen as cliche.


Highlander

The Ghostbusters reboot had a big, big problem: it’s a remake of a movie that’s an untouchable classic, like Back to the Future. Any remake would inevitably be compared to the original and suffer in the comparison. Well, here’s one movie you could probably remake with a gender swap hero: Highlander. It’s not Back to the Future, Jaws, or Terminator; this isn’t a movie people can quote every line from. People know of Highlander, sure…people know things like the Queen song, “there can be only one,” electric swordfighting, etc, but people don’t actually care that much. People won’t go ballistic. Highlander is a remaker’s dream: it has enough name recognition to get sold and made, but it doesn’t have a legion of nitpicking nerd fans to second guess everything and treat the original like gospel.

Highlander used to be kind of a big deal: it had not one but two tv shows, and it had three movie sequels. Just like “Wild Wild West” was steampunk a couple decades before that term existed, Highlander was “urban fantasy” before that term existed. Because of the themes of urban fantasy and tragic romance, it always had a strong female fandom, and there’s no understanding Highlander without understanding that it was kind of the Supernatural of its day: theoretically, with its swordfighting and cool powers, it was trying to appeal to boys…but ended up building up a way bigger female audience instead. 

Posterity is really never kind to any fantasy property who’s audience is primarily women. Who, today, talks a lot about Gargoyles or Beauty and the Beast, for example, to pick two properties that used to have a strong fandom? The last one (B&B) is pretty amazing because it was created by two people immensely relevant to the zeitgeist of today: Ron Perlman (the Beast himself), and the show’s head writer and producer, a fellow by the name of George R.R. Martin. It could be just plain chauvinism over a “girl thing.” I don’t deny that plays a role, more likely, it could just be that scifi fans are immensely nerdy in a way fantasy fans aren’t, so they keep alive their favorite scifi artifacts. That, I think, is why we’re still talking about Terminator and not Highlander: Tolkien fans who write in Dwarf runes are a freakish exception. In general, fantasy fans are way less hardcore than scifi fans.


Magnus, Robot Fighter

Ever talk to any old gay nerds? They will usually tell you they realized they were hella gay because of three men: Robert Conrad in “Wild Wild West,” Ultra Boy from Legion of Super-Heroes, and Magnus, Robot Fighter.

Russ Manning’s Magnus, Robot Fighter may be one of the great subterranean sources of pop culture. Matt Groening admits that the aesthetics of this comic inspired a lot of Futurama. Magnus, Robot Fighter was such a nostalgia totem in the minds of the Baby Boom generation, on the level of the Mars Attacks! cards, that George Lucas, who was always very hands-off with supplementary material, personally requested Russ Manning come out of retirement to do the Star Wars daily comics.

Magnus, Robot Fighter is an interesting example of how comics only have cache and longevity long-term if they can successfully convert into other media formats. Comics are important, but comics are ephemeral. Superman is the king of comic characters, sure, but most people know about him because he made the leap from comics to radio, screen, and television. 

Magnus is all the more heartbreaking because he almost made the jump to a medium with durability - video games. Under circumstances too complex to relate here, Acclaim bought out all the Gold Key comic characters, and Magnus was generally considered to be the crown jewel of the lot. Because Magnus was too important an IP to screw up, and the development team was so inexperienced, Acclaim instead decided to make their first Gold Key game adaptation one of the minor guys, so if they blew it, no biggie: Turok, Dinosaur Hunter. The rest is history: Acclaim was so busy making sequels to the surprise hit Turok, Dinosaur Hunter they never got around to giving Magnus, Robot Fighter a game.

Part three is coming, so stay tuned. Believe it or not, I actually have a fandom from the past ten years on here! Can you think of any dead fandoms?