Sometimes I think yoongi likes feeling cute and pretty,, i mean he thrives with those snow filters,, ,I bet one night he puts on a little makeup with pink and sparkles and pulls on some cute socks and a cute sweater and panties and texts hobi to come to his room bc he has a surprise for him !! And he's rlly nervous and embarrassed bc does he look good or ridiculous?? He's about to back out before hobi arrives and omg I legitimately have butterflies wtf
this is so cute?? I love it??
I bet he’d be in the process of changing because he decided it’s too ridiculous, but hobi walks in before he has the chance. he’d just stand there, flustered and embarrassed that hobi is seeing him dressed that way. he’d begin fumbling with a half excuse and apology when hobi just smiles
I am so proud of myself, my day off yesterday I did nothing
but sleep, eat, watch TV and then sleep. This is a life to have, I am now trying
to get over the nap I just had. My brothers have gone to New Jersey to see my
parents so I have the apartment to myself, I am so happy. I love the freedom, I
love the fact I have the space to myself. I feel so refreshed and happy now, I
hate night shifts but I do one every week, which is not bad at all. Reaching
over and grabbing my phone and then laying back down on the couch, turning the
volume down on the TV. I need to call my dad, I need to have him on my side, if
I have him on my side then what my brother’s say mean nothing. I know how to
get to my dad, it’s pretty easy because I am his only daughter that reminds him
of my mom. I would facetime him but then I would feel bad just saying lies to
his face, this way is better. Placing the phone against my ear, I hope he picks
up because I have built the courage up in lying.
“Turn it down!” my dad shouted, I miss it at home “it’s your
boring music!” Kyrie shouted back, he is worse than me with being a brat “that
boy” my dad sighed out, smiling from ear to ear “my one and only princess, you
remembered your dad” he always does this “I call you all the time” I retorted
“your mother but not me, your dad needs love too” I should have went to New
Jersey with them now “I am sorry, I miss you so much. Please tell me my bedroom
is still there? Mom said you was using it as a room for junk?” my dad chuckled
“never, all the bedrooms are the same. When my kids come home where else are
they going to stay? Don’t worry about it, she is saying it to annoy you” my mom
is so rude to me “good, I can’t wait to come home!” time off from work can’t
come any faster “you’re getting old now, twenty five. Spend some time as a
family in Barbados, I am counting down the days. Your grandparents can’t wait
to tell you about getting married” rolling my eyes “why they always have to do
that to me, either way. I need a holiday, I hope I am getting more gifts”
letting out a cough “Louboutin’s” coughing again “I am ignoring the last part”
he said, groaning out.
Why does my dad insist on me talking to Kyrie “what do you
want?” Kyrie spat “I said the same thing, be gone. I don’t want to speak to
you” I said, younger siblings are annoying “I am telling dad, I saw pictures
with you and Chris Brown” my eyes bulged out “shut up, give the phone back”
what the hell is he even speaking about “I don’t wish to speak to him dad” he
just does the most “he is like them two, but dad….. You know you love me more
than the other three kids right?” smiling wide “I don’t like to choose, I only
pick the kids that are doing well and right now that is you” he is fronting I
am his one and only “sure dad, well I am little upset with living with Nathan
and Blake, just hear me out” my dad was ready to tell me to come home then “I
work hard, I work long hours. I come home and they are loud, they have friends
here, they smoke weed. It’s not funny anymore, I am stressed and I know you don’t
like to hear that. I really just want to move on my own so I can concentrate on
me, they are crowding me. They do nothing all day but watch what I do” I
complained like a spoilt child, my dad sighed “I will speak to them” I gasped
“dad, please. Let me move, shit is different now” why won’t’ he let me grow “I
worry Rylee” I understand why but I need to make my own mistakes “please dad,
they can still be around for me. I am a good girl and you know it” my phone
beeped in my ear, moving my phone back to see Chris trying to call me. Let me
just finish talking to my dad “what do you want me to say? Rylee you know I
don’t play to you messing around, you’re never not old enough. I will beat Nathan
and Blake’ asses still till this day. We love you and you’re already so far
away from us” my dad is stressing again, he did this when I moved “you know
what baby, just do it. I will let you move but you need to move into a good
place, clean, no drugs, no bad people. You need more money you ask me, I want
pictures too” fist pumping the air “thank you dad, I will be careful just don’t
worry. I love you so much” that is it, I have got permission from my dad now.
I have probably got my brother’s in trouble but they will be
more upset I am moving, I am glad. Let me call Chris back, I am so happy about
this. Wait till I tell Bailey, she will tell me to move in with her but I
rather not. I will have Daniel probably sniffing my panties when I leave my
stuff around “you have called back, it’s been ages” Chris is so dramatic “one
whole day? That was it” I said shaking my head “that is a long one day, that is
twenty fours in a day. That is one thousand four hundred and forty minutes,
which is eighty-six thousand and four hundred seconds that we didn’t
communicate for” my eyes widened “you are so dramatic, I hate it because it’s
cute too. Well I am alive now, I did see you called last night but I was so
tired or maybe I was looking for a new man, we just don’t know” I shrugged
“wow, that has upset me now. It has upset me so much that for you to make it up
to me, you have to see me” I scoffed “I am ok, I want to be in this mess while
I am laying here” I am too damn comfy too “I will pick you up? You can wear
anything you want, I honestly have the house to myself. I am being that considerate
that I know you don’t want to be in the limelight, I am cooking for you. Oh
please” my mouth fell open “pause, you are cooking?” he needs to rewind that
“yeah, I can cook you know. I am inviting you to my house, instead of a meal
out. We can talk and eat here, please” I can’t say no to that “hmmm, what is
the dress code for this?” Chris paused “naked if you like, you can wear
anything you like” I will go like this if I can “I will think about that, I
guess it’s a meal at a friend’s house” Chris laughed “you about to quit saying
that soon” he thinks.
I couldn’t just leave the house like that, I had to put some
makeup on and do my hair. Fixing my brother’s snapback on my head, placing it
on my head backwards. I stole my brother’s jacket too, wearing some Js. I look
like a boy, I just really didn’t know what to wear but it’s whatever, I am now
in the back of an Uber to Chris’ home. Answering Bailey’s call “you a little
too busy for me or something?” I said down the phone “more like you are, I miss
you anyways. How are things and Chris?” annoying bitch “things are great, I
wanted to call you to tell you something major!” I would never tell her about
Chris, not just yet anyways “spill the tea queen” she said, smiling a little
“daddy said yes to me moving out, this bitch is going to be living on her own”
Bailey yelped down the phone “Yesss!!!! Finally, you need somewhere so you can
get some dick. They was dick blocking you, my bitch” I knew someone would be
happy for me.
Pressing the doorbell, I swear to god. If he has his mom
here, I will be so mad at him. He always surprises me with shit, pressing my
hair down “move dog” Chris spat as he opened the door, this huge white
slobbering rodent came at me, jumping back “my bad, I was just putting them
away” he said while not doing a thing, this dog moved around me “Jesus” running
at Chris “he is only sniffing you” moving behind Chris “my butt! Put it away”
what is wrong with this man “chill, come on boy. She ain’t like you just yet,
she ain’t like me at first. Come on in though, just going to put him away”
Chris dragged that ugly mutt down the lobby, reaching my hand over to the door
and closing it. Walking slowly into the home, whatever is cooking smells nice
and I can smell chicken, he couldn’t have cooked this.
Stood in the living area “my bad, I am here. Don’t mind me,
I look a little stank. I been busy in the kitchen, I cleaned for you” he jogged
over to me “you look fine” he looks great in anything “can I hug you?” he asked
“yeah sure” opening my one arm, Chris walked into me. Wrapping my arm around
his shoulder as he placed his hand on my back, giving me a little squeeze “you
smell so nice” I thought he was sniffing me “now I know where your dog’s get
this behaviour from” moving back from him “very funny, you mind if I get
changed? Just into a different top? The food is literally done so we can eat” he
works fast, I am actually hungry too “sure, you can. I will sit and wait”
turning around to sit down “cool, I’ll be quick” he is being so damn cute, like
he is on a date.
Taking the jacket off, I want to be comfortable in just the
tee. Taking the snapback off also, pushing my hair down with my one hand and
placing the snapback to the side of me. He is taking his sweet time, looking
down at my nails which kind of need doing “sorry” he said, looking up at him
and my face softened “you didn’t have too” I said in a state of shock “well, I
didn’t want to say a date in case you was like no. I know you don’t like going
out because of all the fan bullshit, this is more quiet and we can be us”
getting up from the couch “but still, you didn’t have to get me this” he held
out the red roses, taking them from him “I wanted too” staring at the bouquet
of roses, Chris leaned in and pressed a kiss on my cheek. I am in shock he got
I know Rylee is doubting me “you don’t cook this good, this
tastes like something your mom would cook” placing my fork down laughing “I can
cook, look at my hand. I burnt my knuckle” holding my hand out “well IF it was,
this is nice. Thank you, we could have just gone to McDonalds. I am easy on
things, but honestly thank you so much” I am glad she liked my cooking “well
why not, you need to be spoilt too” Rylee side eyed the burnt mark on my
knuckle “you being mad mean to me, the fact you don’t believe that I can cook
makes me sad as fuck. My mom taught me these things, it’s funny because I don’t
use these skills at all, just because I am on tour and I don’t get the time”
looking at Rylee’ clean plate “wow, I like a girl that can eat” she didn’t even
get shy about it “well I wasn’t going to put good food to waste, you need to
cook more. I swear if I find out that your mom cooked this” busting out
laughing “I swear, I cooked. Stop it” she is funny.
Placing the glass of wine on the glass table “you sure you
don’t want dessert? Now that is something I bought, I ain’t know how to make
that” she shook her head “I am fine, I may have it later. I like the way you have
filled the glass to the top, you know me well already” sitting across from
Rylee “I am getting there” looking down at my phone, I will answer that shit
later “how come you are not like around the country? Don’t you have some
concerts going on?” placing my phone on the table “I am supposed to be working
on an album, I do have a tour in the works. I am just relaxing for now, I am
trying to get the court dates out of the way. Once that is done, I can know where
I am with my daughter” sitting back on my couch “so clearly the child wasn’t
exactly planned I am guessing from the hate you have for the mother?” Rylee
asked “one night, you know when you hear people talk about it only takes one
night. I didn’t take it serious, she fell pregnant. Now I am a father, I love
my daughter but shit is just there. I pay out everything for her, that is mine
but I lose my cool. I look like the bad guy but on real terms she is a bitch
and I hate her so much. I look back on it and I am like why, out of every chick
I had why her” I shrugged “but the important thing is Royalty, you have a
beautiful baby girl” smiling lightly “let’s hope she doesn’t end up like her” a
I really wanted to sit next to Rylee but then I am being too
much in her space, which is not cute “what are you thinking about? I can see
the smile playing on your face” Rylee pointed, she is watching me “I am
thinking about us, you know. I want there to be an us, I honestly can’t shake
you off. I tried but it’s not happening, you know when you see a girl and you
just know, I just know” this what bugs me, I can have any girl easily and I
have tried to move on but I keep thinking of Rylee. She has become part of my
day, I love her. Furrowing my eyebrows, I mean not love but I love her personality
“you gone quiet with me now” I said, she is not speaking at all “talk to me,
why do you have this guard up with me. I hear you speak on being scared but I
feel like you’re not scared of this situation” watching Rylee reach over for
the wine “let’s lay our cards out on the table, I am going to be truthful to
you. No matter what, I see you as a friend even if we don’t make it. I know you
hate the word but if we are to do this then I don’t want things creeping up on
us, bad enough you are a worldwide star but then lies will really fuck me over
and also you” Rylee drank the wine like she is wanting to be drunk, blinking at
her “you need a refill? I agree also, you go first though” Rylee put her hand
up as she gulped the wine down “don’t, I will not be with you then” clearly she
don’t want to be if she drank it like that.
Makes me wonder, the story behind Rylee “so uhm where would
you like me to start?” she crossed her legs Indian style “why are you so
guarded and scared about men?” that is the main thing I want to know “I don’t
want to scare you away but my brother went down for me, the whole reason he
wasted his life in there was because of me. I was dating this guy in New
Jersey, I dated him for three years, I was happy with him. I thought I was in
love but clearly I was blind, that wasn’t love at all. I thought everything he
was doing was normal, he was crazy. My family trusted him to take me away, we
came here actually for a break away. Now thinking back he was crazy, I am
stupid like really fucking stupid because the signs were there, I didn’t have
friends or anything because he didn’t let me. It was all about him, but anyways
we came here, he took my phone from me and then told me I wasn’t going home and
I was his, I thought he was playing with me but when he wouldn’t let me leave
the motel. He had these random niggas in the room, I was scared. Either they
was going to do something to me or kill me, I managed to get out of the room
and found this woman and begged her. I called my brother, which was when he
moved here. He was searching for him, well he found him in Inglewood and he got
sent down for attempted murder. Let’s just say I didn’t date after that and
pretty much I have been hiding behind my brother’s, it’s only been recently
where I have been not caring anymore. Men just look at me like a piece of meat,
they don’t see me as anything else. He said that to me actually but oh well, I
am still sane after that” my mouth hung open hearing this, I am in shock “holy
shit” placing my hand over my mouth “that is deep, your brother would kill for
you” I don’t know what else to say, that is so bad.
Blowing out air “damn Rylee, I am sorry that happened to
you. I understand your reservation for us men” shaking my head “don’t be sorry,
it’s weird because you have bought back that confidence in me. Bailey helps me
so much but since I have been spending time with you, I actually do shit for
myself” smiling wide hearing that “you’re beautiful, you look beautiful in
anything. I am sorry that you had to talk about such a thing, I know niggas go
crazy seeing you. That is because we are used to fake girls and you’re just
natural” at least I can understand her more “we all have shit that has shaped
us to be how we are now, I am a crazy nigga with bipolar. We as humans carry
burdens with us every day, we don’t know what the other person goes through. I
smile day in and day out and half of the time I am on medication and smiling
through the bullshit of wanting to doze off, I am scared too Rylee. I feel like
this is something true and the way I am is problematic, it’s a new territory to
me. I am cooking meals, I am thinking of romantic things. I want us to be good
and your brother’s and what happened to you doesn’t scare me” I am more upset
that she had to go through that “least you know why I have a protective family,
at times I get those moments where I think what if but I just, you know, push
through. My future is so bright, I am blessed to be where I am, living my dream”
she smiled from ear to ear “exactly beautiful” she waved me off “oh stop it”
she let out a giggle.
“Not even Bailey knows about why my brother went down, just
my family and then Lo knew from Blake. But now you know, not something you want
to tell people” she said “true, we both know something of each other now, we
are equal” we know something of each other “are you really wanting to take this
to another level with me?” she broke the silence “if I didn’t want that then I
wouldn’t be making so much effort, cancelling studio sessions just so I can
catch up with you before you work. Also just so I can speak to you before you
sleep, I am not out to hurt you” that is not my intention at all “if we keep
this as low key as we can while we actually get to know each other more, I
think maybe that will be better. I am not here for the fame, I just want my
normal job and to see you without the extras but I am going to accept it. I
know eventually things will be leaked out, I want to support you and I am willing
to give this a try. I ask myself half the time, what am I doing with myself but
I am just going to try it, I like what I see. I like this Christopher Brown”
stifling out a laugh “only my momma call me that” I spat.
I cannot stop smiling now “so does this mean we are
official, we are boyfriend and girlfriend?” pointing at us, she took in a deep
breath “more like, am I really dating Chris Brown? I need a second” she put her
hand up “what the fuck!” she said to herself, laughing at her “ok, I am over
it. But yeah we are, I feel like a teenager again, how childish is this” I love
that she is giggling so much, she is too damn cute “there is a question
actually, when was the last time you had sex?” raising my eyebrows, that is a
random question, why is she asking that “uhhh” rubbing the side of my face “couple
of days ago” I blurted out “Oh” she said, she genuinely looks sad “I am sorry,
I didn’t know if you did want me or not. Looking forward, from today I am yours”
I feel so bad now, I was speaking to her and then fucking with girls, this
sounds so bad “honestly Ry, I didn’t know we would have been more” this is
awkward as fuck “I am guessing you have not had any in a couple of days?” how
can I already be in the dog house, stupid idiot should have lied “try years, I
can’t just give myself away like that” I can tell from her body language she is
Walking behind Rylee, she wants to go home now. I made her
my girl and then upset her within ten minutes, this has to be a new record for
me “do you want me to give you space or …..
I am not sure” I really don’t “no, call me still. You’re a man, I can’t
expect you to be faithful, I friend zoned you. It’s cool, just I don’t know. So
much to take in, but I am fine” I sense some lies in that statement, she opened
my front door “I am sad that you are going though” rubbing the back of my head “stop
it, be good. Remember, you have a girlfriend now. I am not upset with the fact
you had sex, it’s just that I like you and then I knew a while ago that I did but
I didn’t want to admit to it. If I did I could have stopped that situation,
also Bailey is coming over” nodding my head “can I hug you?” I asked before she
went “you don’t have to ask you know, you can just hug me” she turned back
around, Rylee jumped up a little wrapping her arms around my neck “when are you
next off work? I miss you already” I am going to miss her like crazy “I will
send you my timetable” feeling Rylee press a kiss to my cheek “why not the
lips?” I spat “I don’t kiss on the first date” she pointed “first date? I have
been dating you since I first saw you though?” I half shouted “goodbye
Christopher!” Rylee spat walking off to the Uber.
Im left alone in my thoughts. They are mixed with complete chaos. Im proud of myself, i did it, all on my own, but at the same time I want to go check on him. Make sure he is ok and take care of him. I mean this wasn’t a play fight, but, I didn’t kill him. So, he should be tankful that i spared his life. I keep escaping my own reality. He is pissed and I know it.
J walks down the stairs and grabs an ice pack from the freezer, he comes and sits next to me and applies a small amount of pressure to his face. My heart rate increase. He lets out a groan as his body forms into the couch. It’s quiet and awkward, I can’t stand the tension. I go to get up and go onto the kitchen.
“Wait.” He doesn’t reach for me or anything. I turn and look at him but don’t respond, I just wait till he speaks again. “I deserved that.” His head falls back against the couch.
“I know.” I start walking towards the kitchen again.
“Wait! Kat!” He picks his head back up
I let out a sigh and stand in front of him waiting to hear what he has to say.
“I hurt you much deeper than you could ever hurt me.” He sighs.
“Is that supposed to be comforting?” I roll my eyes and walk to the kitchen.
He groans as he gets up to follow me, “No, it’s not. I didn’t know you- I didn’t know you had that in you.” He points to the lounge. “You know I would do anything for you. Right?” He’s standing across the counter looking at me.
“Here is what I do know J. I know you would hit me, I know you would cheat on me and I know you will never love me.” I spit the words out at him like fire. I lean over the counter, “I also know you could of killed me.”
He shoots me a confused look, “No I, I couldn’t kill you.”
“Whatever J.” I turn my back to him and open the fridge.
“You really think I could? You think I could kill you?” Hes getting annoyed with me. So I don’t answer.
He slams his fist on the counter, “You think I could fucking kill you? Answer me Kat!” He raises his voice.
I don’t jump at the noise, I turn towards him, “You’ve done it before.” my voice come out a lot angrier than I anticipated. I walk right past him. I go outside and sit on the bench I always sit on. I lean my head back and close my eyes. ‘Its fucking good to be Queen.’
I hear the back door open and then close. I figure it must be J. Im right.
“Look, Kat. I fucked up at the club, is that what you want to hear?” He sits next to me.
I keep my head back and eyes closed, “No, I want to hear what you really feel.” I lift my head and look at him, “If you’re not sorry then fuck you. I have lived without you before. I can do it again,” I laid my head back again.
It takes him a moment to respond, “I regret it.” He puts his head back like mine. “It wasn’t a need. I wasn’t even drunk.”
We stay in our own separate positions, both of us keep our voices calm.
“What do you mean you weren’t drunk? Why did you do it?” A knot in my stomach starts to grow.
“Every man in the club had their eyes on you. In that fucking see through dress. I was mad, so, so, so mad. I usually don’t care if they look, or glance. This was keeping their eye on the prize. You are my prize.” He lets out a groan as he sits up.
“Im not yours.” I keep my response short. That was a lot of information at once, but I ask for more. “And that still doesn’t explain why you did it J.”
“I wanted to make you jealous.” He blurts out like vomit.
“You, you wanted to make me jealous?” I let out a laugh.
“I don’t know. I fucked us up. Well fucked us up even more.” He gets up and goes back inside.
I almost feel bad. Almost.
I roll my eyes, “Pussy.” I mumble under my breath. Its like he is the King and coward of confrontation. My mind tries to figure him out, but I never will.
I get up and go back inside, I close the door behind me. “J!” I call out for him.
“Office.” His voice is barley audible.
I make my way in his office, he is at his desk making notes and talking on the phone. I sit in the chair and wait for him to hang up.
“I can’t tonight. NO! Figure it out. We can’t lose this one! Fuck it. I’ll go.” He lets out frustrated groan.
“Whats all that about?” I go and sit on the edge of his desk.
“Work.” He runs his hands down his face.
“Thank you captain obvious.” I go sit back in the chair, he growls at me.
“We have to go do a run tonight. Well, I do, not we,”
“I want to go.” I stand up and walk over to him, I push his chair back and lean in close to his face, “Scratch that. I am going.” I walk away and head to the closet to get dressed.
I pick out something that fits the new me.
I put on a black shirt that hugs, a pair of tight black jeans and to top it off, black leather boots with a heel to kill for. I finish the look with my hair loose and bright red lipstick for a pop of color.
I walk back into the office where J was getting up to get things ready.
“You’re. In that?” He groans and know he cant change my mind. “Fine.”
I smile at him and give him a wink.
Time flies by, the guys are loading everything up and Jackie is in the kitchen getting everything prepared for when we get back. She looks over at me and gives me a wink, I smile back at her. I follow behind J and get in the car.
J doesn’t say much when we get in the car. I know he is mad that i am here but he knows that I am not afraid of leaving him anymore. He needs me. More than I need him.
We pull up to a club, not Js, not ours. This is dark, dingy and empty. I get the chills just looking at the outside.
“Follow our lead.” He says to me as he gets out of the car and is practically running towards the meet.
I rush behind him, “Wait!”
He turns towards me and i catch up with him, “Come back to me, J.” I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in for a kiss. A deep, messy kiss.
He lets out a groan and he wraps his arms around my waist tight, one of his hands against my back pushing me closet to him. My hands run through his hair. We are getting lost.
“Boss.” Jay snaps us out of it.
He pulls away from me slowly and that fucking, make me weak in my knees, make my heart beat faster smile appears on his face. I didn’t realize how much I missed that fucking smile.
“Every time doll.” He say says he walks toward the door.
I had forgotten what I had even said before, I was still lost in him somewhere.
“Follow the lead, remember.” Lucas laughs at me as he runs by.
I snap back into game mode and run to catch up with Lucas.
I shake him out of my head, well most of him. Everyone is huddled around and i can’t see over the burly men in front of me.
“Lets keep this smooth and simple boys. I have a special lady waiting for me!” His voice is raspy and deep. I want to fucking loose it on him.
I can’t hear much of whats going on, I keep pushing my way through. I finally get next to J.
“Is this your lady friend?” The man in an all black tux asks. He staring at me up and down. It sends a disgusting feeling through my body.
J notices. “I don’t think my lady likes the way you look at her.” He takes a step closer, I let him.
“You think I care what that bitch thinks?” He laughs and his man join in.
“Mister. i don’t think that was such a good idea.” I smile at him and walk by J.
I stand with my back towards the men I don’t know and my face close to Js. I kiss him again. My tongue enters his mouth and i let out a moan loud enough for everyone to hear. J pulls me in and he has one hand gripping my hair. I reach my hand for the pistol on the left side, I know he is right handed so if he does need it he will reach there first. I turn around and press my ass against J, I let a smile show on my face when I feel him press against me. I slip the gun into the back of my jeans and J notices, he glides one hand down my side and I could of dropped to my knees then and there.
I walk over to the man in the black tux, i run my hand down the side of his face.
I cock my head to the side, “Hello.” I smile at him. He doesn’t say a word. “Oh, the cat got your tongue?” I laugh. I turn to J, “A pussys got him!” I laugh again and J joins me. I trial my finger down his lip, “I suggest you give Mr. J what he wants.”
“Fuck off slut.” He lashes out at me.
I quickly pull the gun from behind me and shoot him in the crotch. Guns are drawn on both sides, J and I in the middle. J lets out his manic laugh and pulls me to his side.
“God help whoever disrespects the Queen!” He laughs again.
J pulls me quickly by my hand and runs to the side as he throws something towards the other men. An explosion goes off and i stumble but J catches me, i smile at him and we keep running.
My mind shoots to the guards, Lucas!
“J! Lucas! Lucas was in there!! We have to get him!” Im trying to pull him towards the fire.
“Darling, he is fine, I promise you. Every one of my men are fine. We train for this.” My eyes are wide and my heart is beating hard, i squeeze back onto his arm.
We make it to the car, Jay is in the front seat and it’s like magic, all the men are there. They are full of smoke, but they are there.
“How?! How did they get here so fast?!” Im asking but no one is answering.
“We have to leave now doll. Get in.” He has the door open for me. I get in and he slides in after me.
He is staring at me, I get nervous, “What? What is it?”
He shrugs and just keeps staring.
“You are freaking me out J.” I laugh trying to ignore him.
“I did fuck you up.” His voice is almost soft.
I give him a blank look, I don’t know how to respond. I mean if i would of never met him I can’t say that I would of ever shot a mans dick off. I swallow hard.
“You can say yes.” He still has a strong stare on me.
“Yes.” I whisper hoping maybe he didn’t hear me.
“Do you wish you would of never met me?” He reaches for my hand and I let him grab it.
“No.” I say in a whisper tone as well, my eyes are on out hands.
“Look at me.” He squeezes my hand making sure he has my attention.
I lift my head till our eyes meet. I bite my lip out of nerves.
“You are something else. You don’t even know the power you have. You aren’t my equal.” I pull my hand away and roll my eyes at him, “You are your own.” he finishes.
I look back at him, thinking of what he just said and taking it in. ‘He just admitted he doesn’t own me. I’m my own person.’ a smile spreads across my face. “You mean that?” I look straight at him.
“I really do mean that.” He gives a hint of a smile. I know that wasn’t easy for him to say.
I scoot closer to him, i lean my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. When I open them again I am already in our bed in different clothes. I spring up out of bed. J walks into the bedroom.
“What are you doing up?” He gives me a strange look.
“I. I don’t know. I just sort of woke up and then realized I wasn’t where I last remember being.” I look at him for answer.
“You fell asleep darling, I changed your clothes and set you down in bed. nothing else, I promise.” He smiles and winks at me, “No go back to bed.”
“Aren’t you coming to bed too?” My heart rate is still high.
“Would you like me too?” he laughs
I nod my head and he slips under the sheets with me. He jerks his neck to the side inviting me closer, knowing thats what I wanted. I scoot in close and give him a squeeze which he reply’s with a grunt. I laugh at him and he pulls me even closer. His arms are wrapped around me and I can feel him breathing on my forehead, it slows down and becomes deep. I close my eyes.
I close the bedroom door behind me and head to the bathroom to shower. The hot water feels good against my skin.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
I could of easily stayed there all day.
I get out and wrap a towel around me and start running my fingers through my hair trying to get the tangles out.
I French braid my hair back. ‘Thank God I always keep a hair tie on my wrist!’
I sit on the edge of the bed and wait. ‘Maybe he forgot about my stuff. I’m sure he’s busy, doing whatever he does… What does he actually do?’
I stick my head out the bedroom door.
“Mr. J?” All the doors are closed and I don’t hear anyone downstairs. I see Jay leave the room across from the bedroom.
“Jay! Where is he?”
“In a meeting.” His head nods to the door he just walked out of. ’So that’s the office.’
“Do you know how long he will be?” Still only letting my head out of the door.
“Sorry Miss, I don’t know.” His voice is always stern. ‘Does this guy even have emotions?’
“You can call me Kat.” I laugh a little at being called Miss. “Do you know where, uh, my stuff is at?”
“They are pulling up with your things now.” He heads down to the front door and opens it.
A man comes in and piles 6 huge moving boxes in the foyer. Jay hands the man an envelope and locks the door and watches him leave.
“I’ll have Jackie pick something for you now so they can put this all away.” He goes and gets her and she looks in the boxes and her eyes light up.
“Go in the room dear, I’ll bring you something right up!” Her voice is so cheerful
I sit on the bed. ‘I didn’t think I had that much stuff, they must of brought everything from my apartment. What is my old dusty decor going to look like next to all his lavish things.’ I let out a little laugh thinking about it.
“Close your eyes sweetie! You’re going to love this!”
“Jackie, it’s my stuff, I’ve seen it all before.” I laugh at her and I can hear her giggle outside the door.
“Trust me honey, you haven’t seen it all. Now close em’.” I do as I’m told.
“They are closed!” I say with a smile on my face. I hear the door open and wait for her to say open. I hear some rustling noise.
“What, wait, but, where, where is that from?!” My mouth is still open. She is holding a full sequence black dress that is long enough to have a train, the straps are dainty and thin but a beautiful royal purple, it has a small V neck line and the back drapes down just past what would be my shoulder blades.
“Those boxes are full of brand new things!” Jackie squeals with excitement for me. My face must read shocked. “Sweetie, say something, or at least let me know you’re breathing.” She still has a huge smile on her face.
“This, it’s, beautiful! I mean I’ve never had anything like this.” I reach up and feel the sequins. “I love it, but am I supposed to wear this all the time? Like around the house?”
She lets out a laugh “He thought of everything! He even has slippers in there!” She points to the clothes next to me on the bed. “I brought these for now but I had to show you something with a little sparkle.” There is a pair of dark blue jeans and a semi sheer black shirt, she also brought up a purple bra and a black one as well and a purple thong and black one, on the ground is a pair of all black heels and a pair of black heels with a green undertone. I figure she picked something for him and something for me.
“Thank you Jackie.” I let out a giggle. She gives me a wink and closes the door behind her. ‘Purple bra, green and black shoes is just what Mr. J ordered!’
I head down stairs and notice a couple of guards take a second glance at me, they have only seen me in oversized shirts for the past few days. An awkward silence comes over everyone.
‘So you guys come here often?’ Runs through my head.
“Could I go in there?” I ask waiting for anyone to answer. A shuffle of expressions get thrown around.
“Probably not the best idea.” Comes from one of the guys. A few more silent moments pass.
“Ok… Maybe I’ll just knock? I could bring in some drinks? They have been in there for hours! Maybe they are hungry? Do they like sandwiches?” I’m looking for any excuse to see him, I want to thank him for the clothes, which are now being put away, and I want him to see me in the outfit he bought. “I’ll just bring in some water.” I get confused looks from the guys. I find a tray, it’s a cookie pan, but it will do. I start to look for glasses, after opening 6 cabinets and a couple of chuckles from the guys, I find them. “How many people are in there?” My question again in open for any answer.
I don’t pay attention to who answers, I place a few ice cubes in each glass and fill each a little more than halfway.
“Wish me luck boys!” Like they care, it just boosted my confidence to say it.
My heels tap the white marble floor, I get to the office door, my nerves are at a high. I knock gently 3 time.
“What is it?” His voice sounds upset.
I want to back away but there is no way I could get down the stairs in one piece with this tray. ‘Deep breath.’ “It’s me Mr. J.”
Only seconds pass before he opens the door. “My darling! What is the matt…” He looks down at the tray and I give him a full smile. “Come on in baby.” He opens the door for me. I set the tray down on the edge of his desk.
The office has high ceilings, the carpet is dark red and the walls are a light brown. The walls are covered with book cases that are covered with picture frames, books, papers and a lot of other miscellaneous things. It’s actually very messy. He must not let anyone clean in here. There are 4 men standing in the back and 3 men sitting in chairs in front of his desk, 1 man is in a far corner with his hands crossed in front of him.
I pick up the tray and give the men a big smile and pass out the water. Some have a concerned look, others give a small smile with confusion. I set the tray back down on Mr. Js desk.
“Don’t be rude fellas, say hello to my lady.” He looks at me pats his lap telling me to come sit. I walk over to him and bend over at the waist with my arms around his neck. I make sure all the men have a good view. Mr. J places his hand on my waist and it sends chills down my leg. I lean in close to his ear and he closes his eyes.
“Thanks for the clothes Mr. J.” My voice is low, I bite his ear and then kiss his neck. He lets out a low grunt and opens his eyes.
“Enjoy your meeting boys!” I say as I snap up and head for the door. Before I leave I blow a kiss to Mr. J and he gives me a grin. With that I leave.
I close the door and my heart is pounding. ‘That was terrifying! Worth it, but terrifying.’ I head down the stairs and all the guys are looking at me almost like they wanted to know what happened but no one wanted to ask.
“It’s all good boys!” My confidence is roaring with my performance. “Could someone actually give me a tour of this place?” Since Mr. J is busy. No one says anything. “A yes or no is preferred but I suppose silence is also an option.” My sarcastic side shines through a little and then I remember that’s what got me in trouble the first time.
Jackie brings me back to present day, “I can show you a few things if you would like Kat?” She always smiling.
“Absolutely! I would love that!”
We head outside, he has a backyard, a pool, and a garden. It’s gorgeous. It almost seems like a vacation spot. I could easily forget all my worries out here. The pool is an oval and its crisp blue water reminds me of his eyes. I used to have a garden as a kid and I loved it but it was nothing like this, this was huge, full of flowers and all kinds of fruits and vegetables. I walk over to the plants, “Who takes care of these?” I ask but never turning my attention away from the plants.
“He hires someone.” Jackie is trailing behind me. “This is where most of the food I make comes from. I actually haven’t been out here in a long time. It’s calming.” I’m sure she will be out here more as well.
“Mr. J didn’t happen to include gardening clothes in his shopping spree for me did he?” We both laugh a little bit.
“Do you love him?” Her voice is serious.
I look at her confused, “No, of course not. Infatuated, yes. Slightly obsessed, maybe. Love, no. I couldn’t.” My heart sinks once I stop.
‘Could I? What if I do love him? I don’t though. What if one day I love him? I’m not in love with him. No, it’s not love.’
I look at her with concern, “Why do you ask?”
She takes a moment to answer, “Sometimes he get, his moods, he says things. Sweetie, you haven’t seen his bad days yet ok. Like I said before, keep your guard up. You don’t deserve to get hurt and he’s been hurt plenty. Just. Take things slow.” She lets out a sigh “I have said more than I should have. I’m - I need to go back inside.”
“I will. I’ll take things slow. Promise.” We both head inside.
I head upstairs to our bedroom. ‘Our bedroom. Ours.’ Weird to think about.
“Hello, baby. You should get ready so we can head out.” He walks out of the closet with his pants hanging low on his hips, no shirt and throwing a purple blazer on. His hair isn’t done and his lips are the stained red.
Lord. Have. Mercy.
He heads into the bathroom to start doing his hair. I squeeze myself between him and the counter, he gives a little smile. I kiss his jawline and he lifts my head up to look at him.
“Don’t start something you can’t finish baby girl.” I give him a shy smile and step away.
“Where are my clothes at Mr.J?”
He nods to the closet across from his. “I have my own closet?!” He just gives me a closed mouth smile. I run in and can not believe it, he didn’t just get me a few things. He got me dresses of all sorts, jeans, shorts, skirts, shoes, swim wear, robes and of course lingerie.
“Oh, Mr. J!! This is too much!”
“Nonsense doll. I’ll pick something out for you, we don’t have much time.” He could tell I was overwhelmed with all the stuff. He picks out a purple dress that looks way too small and pulls out black heels with a black bow on the side. “I don’t think that will fit me.” I laugh as he takes it off the hanger.
“Try it on baby.” He hands me the clothes.
I go into the bathroom, close the door and lock it. I’m sure he’s laughing at me. I fold my clothes neatly on the counter. I put the dress over my head and it takes a little squirming to get in it but it does fit and it fits nicely at that. I take my braid out and shake my hair out a little bit, leaving my hair full and wavy. I open the skinny drawer looking for his lipstick, instead I find all my makeup, I want to kiss it. I give myself a full face of makeup. I strap on the shoes and open the door. He’s sitting on the bed leaning back on his elbows with his head back. How I want to jump on him and kiss him all over. I walk over to him, he must be deep in thought because he doesn’t budge. I place my hand on his knee and he snaps up, he looks at me and I melt, he smiles and his grille sends shivers down my spine.
“My darling. Mine. My, my, my.” He stands behind me and wraps his arms around my waist and starts swaying as if there is music playing in his head. I rest my head back onto his chest and place my hands over his.
“You are mine. Isn’t that right darling?”
I inhale him, he always smells so good.
“I’m all yours Mr. J.” My voice is low and quiet, enjoying the silence and him.
“Cars all ready boss.” Jay yells from the other side of the door.
He’s still silent, still swaying, still holding me. I expected him to snap up and release me and we would head out to wherever we were going. My head is still against his chest and our eyes are closed, a few moments pass. “Ready?” He whispers in my ear. “Only if you are.” I reply softly. He releases me and takes my hand, we head out the door. We get downstairs and Jackie is waving bye to me with a big smile. I smile back. We walk outside and Jay is holding the door open on a different black unmarked car, he lets me in first. The car ride is quite. Mr. J seems lost in thought, not distracted but like he’s concentrating. I want to reach out and touch him but I’m scared. We pull up, it’s his club. I’m excited since I didn’t get to really enjoy it last time and this time I could enjoy it with him.
“Jay, take her in upstairs. No one talks to her. No one near her.” He doesn’t sound angry but I feel like he is.
“You’re not coming in?” I’m worried.
“I’ll be up there in a few minutes.” He doesn’t even look at me.
I do what he says. Jay leads me inside. He stands next to me with his arm around my shoulder but not touching me. We get in the elevator.
“What’s going on Jay? Why is he waiting?”
“I’m not entirely sure Mis.. Kat. I assume business reasons.” Still no emotion. The door opens. Not as many people up here but Jay seems more protective. He has his hand on his gun and has me extremely close to him. He walks me behind the curtain and checks the place out. He looks under every and anything and opens every door and cabinet. He says “Clear. Do as you wish Kat, I’ll be right outside.”
And he’s gone.
“Oh the memories.” I laugh to myself. I’m sort of nervous but I’m excited to be out with Mr. J. I sit in the chair in front of his desk and wait. Not very long has passed before Mr. J comes behind the curtain.
“Hello darling! Come, let’s enjoy the night!” He’s holding the thick curtain open.
'What the hell did I miss?’ I get up and head to his section of the VIP. He pulls me onto his lap and moves my hair off of my shoulders and neck. He kisses my shoulder and orders us a few round of drinks.
'He doesn’t know I’m a lightweight. I’ve never had more than a few drinks. Shit.’
We are sitting next to each other on a couch, my hand resting on his open chest. He is sipping his drink and i’m pretending to drink mine. He is just looking into the club. I love spending time with him but I was getting a little restless. There was only one other cage dancer in the VIP, i decided to make it 2. My hand leaves his chest and he shoots a look at me, I get up and open the cage and get in. He adjust himself on the couch with a grin. “Let me take your mind of work for a little bit Mr. J” I wink at him. I move my body with the music. I drop down low and bring my ass up slow giving him the perfect view. I stay bent over and reach my hand between my legs and rub my pussy forward. I turn around and lean against the pole, I drop down again spreading my legs giving him a full view. His stare is strong and his breathing is heavy.
I know he’s not going to last much longer, I rub my hand against my pussy again “Take me home daddy.” He is up in a flash and has me in his arms, he doesn’t even take the elevator. Im laughing hysterically as his nibbles my neck. He looks at me with such lust. Jay has the car ready like he knew. I don’t even care that Jay could possibly see in the back seat. I put one leg bent on the seat and the other as far away as i could get it. I start touching myself and make sure Mr. J is watching. I moan “Daddy” every few moments. It doesnt take long before Mr. J is laying in between my legs, our tongues intertwined and he is lightly touching my slit with his fingers. The sensation is driving me wild, my back is already arching. He lowers his mouth and sucks on my neck, “Daddy!” my hands reach into his hair, I pull it gently and he moans back at me. His mouth reaches my chest, “This just wont do.” His voice is rough. He takes his knife and cuts the entire front of the dress open including my bra. “Much better.” His mouth is warm as he wraps it around my nipples, he gives them a few nibbles and I let out a loud moan when hes done. We are home.
I give him a look, “My dress? What if someone sees me?” “Get your ass to our room now, I dont care who sees.” I smile at him and slide my hand in my underwear and let out a small moan and slide my fingers back in my mouth. “Fuck.” Comes from him under his breath.
I run out of the car and get upstairs, i didn’t even pay attention if someone saw me. I take whatever is left of dress off leaving only my underwear. I hear him coming up the stairs, he walks in and slams the door closed. He is ripping his clothes off. “Come on daddy.” He comes after me and comes between my legs kissing my stomach up to my neck, I can feel how hard he is. He reaches his hand down to my pussy and he can feel how wet I am through my underwear “Shit, you are so wet baby. So, so wet.” He growls at me.
“I-I-I want…” I’m not very experienced in this are of life and I’m nervous.
“What is it doll, what do you want?” He says as he pushes my underwear to the side and starts rubbing my clit. My back arched and my breathing is heavy.
“I wa-nt you t-o f-uck me.” Finally leaves me lips.
“I had all intentions of that baby doll.” He kisses me quickly and pulls my underwear off. He brings his face to mine and positions himself and rubs his tip against my clit. I let out a few moans and go to grab his face.
“No, no, no.” He pushes my hands to his arms. He starts to slide the tip in and I push on his chest to get his attention.
“I, uh, I’m not, take it slow for a second daddy.” All I get is a nod.
He’s slowly sliding all of him in me and he’s gripping the sheets, I know this is killing him. My moans are loud as he’s all there and I know people can hear me.
“You are the tightest thing.” His own breath is labored. He starts to pull out and slide back in again, I bite my lip. “Ok daddy.”
His thrusts get harder and faster, my nails are in his shoulders and his teeth are on my neck. He’s letting out grunts every few thrusts, my chest is bouncing with his movements and I’m on the verge of screaming his name.
I’m about to cum and he knows it, he can feel me tighten around him with every hard thrust he gives “Not yet.” His voice is sharp. I try containing myself. “Daddy!” I scream out and he says “Now!” I let go of holding back and cum on his dick as he cums inside me. I let out softer moans as he pulls out of me and kisses me quickly.
He lays next to me on the bed and pulls the sheet to cover himself a little bit, he is still breathing hard and his eyes are closed. I have the sheet covering me up my head is turned toward him “Careful darling. Careful. Careful. Careful.” He says in a low voice. I can’t even find words and he smiles knowing that. I move closer and give him a look as if to ask if it’s ok, he glances at me and he nods. He lets me rest my head on his chest, he puts his arm around me and his hand falls on my hip. His eyes are closed. 'Don’t love him. Don’t do it. I can’t fall in love with him!’ His breathing has slowed and I’m pretty sure he is sleeping. I run my fingers across his stomach and chest, I love touching him. “Sleep baby girl.” His voice is low and hoarse.
I nuzzle into him.
JS hob looks so breathtakingly beautiful in kkul, he looks so golden and it kind of looks like he just got out of the shower…his wrists are so delicate n his hands are so beautiful and his hair is so silky and that tired smile at the beginning…. gosh i am so in love
It’s said that an actor has a thousand faces, because they have a different face in each of their works. Of course, this is only possible if the actor is invested in their character. Only when an actor is in character, would his eyes, vision, expression and tone become one with the character.
Like that, Lee Jong Suk had obtained another different face. Lee Jong Suk is now Park Hoon in SBS’s “Doctor Stranger”, a character who had experienced immense hurt when he was young, having a lot of heartbreak and anger, but yet at the same time, a warm character with a heart.
With such complicated emotions, it isn’t easy carrying this character. However, Lee Jong Suk had brought 110% life to this difficult character. He had shown excellent portrayal of emotions, which resulted in Doctor Stranger being labelled a drama that is “of Lee Jong Suk, By Lee Jong Suk and for Lee Jong Suk.”
How did Lee Jong Suk’s acting come about? Starcast is going to reveal his acting, and let us see how his expressions and acting style changes along with the character’s emotional changes.
▶ Park HoonvsLee Jong Suk①Dismay
Park Hoon In the first episode in the North where Song Jaehee was forced to leave. Song Jaehee is Park Hoon’s only spiritual hideout. Howvever, when the two were forced to separate, Park Hoon who had to watch Jaehee being taken away was on the verge of a mental breakdown.
Lee Jong Suk His tiny muscle movements, shaky eyes and stiff lips. He portrayed an unbelievable but real fear, and the dismay and unwillingness of the separation between two lovers. His tear filled eyes better helped the audience get invested in the drama..
behind This is a scene which was filmed with a lot of passion. During the filming in April, the temperature at night was still pretty low. In that cold weather, Lee Jong Suk was drenched in the water from the water tank. His performance that day left the staff watching in silence.
intense performance in the rain
▶ Park HoonvsLee Jong Suk②Grief
Park Hoon In episodes 1-2, Park Hoon had lost all the people he loved. In North Korea, he lost his father, and he lost Song Jaehee in Hungary. This scream represented him being left alone in this world.
Lee Jong Suk He captured the audience with his high level acting. Blood shot eyes and the tension in his fingers, totally portrayed Park Hoon’s thoughts. This scene showed how invested he was in the character, and it was the moment where Lee Jong Suk grew to the one-top of the show.
behind It’s a one of the scenes which impacted Lee Jong Suk’s acting. The last scene waith Kim Sang Jung was like that as well. After the scene where Kim Sang Jung died, Lee Jong Suk said that he would tear up everytime he hears ‘Kim Sang Jung’ or 'father’.
Even his fingertips are performing
▶Park HoonvsLee Jong Suk ③despair
Park Hoon In episode 2, where Park Hoon and Song Jae Hee were cornered on the bridge with no where to escape, Park Hoon fell into a state of despair with the guns pointed at them.
Lee Jong Suk Although this scene was short, but it comprised action, love, spy and danger. On top of showing the immense tension, he must also portray a state of despair. His downwards line of sight and slightly lowered head gave off a feeling of despair.
behind This scene confirmed Lee Jong Suk’s status as a Korean star. During the filming, the set was surrounded by female fans from Hungary. To catch a glimpse of Lee Jong Suk, a crowd had gathered near the sides of the bridge.
Looking for the feeling
Eyes full of despair
▶ Park Hoonvs Lee Jong Suk④Anger
Park Hoon Episode 7, when he expressed his anger towards Myungwoo’s previous director, Director Choi. Director Choi was one of the culprits who had sent his father and him to the North. This show exposed Hoon’s anger and hatred towards those days.
Lee Jong Suk He shined with his confident acting. Even if it was in front of a senior actor, he didn’t seem to be holding back. His strong gaze put pressure on the other party, injecting a new tension to the drama which was slowing down.
behind Lee Jong Suk really has chemistry with everyone. Whether it is with actors of his age group or senior actors, he shows perfect chemistry with whoever he is acting with. The secret is to think for the other party and adjusting his performance to match the other’s.This is also why everyone on set loves him.
Perfect chemistry with everyone
▶Park HoonvsLee Jong Suk⑤Serious
Park HoonHe is a genius doctor. A doctor who truly cares for patients and possesses extremely good surgical skills. Park Hoon is exceptionally serious in the operation room. No matter how much he is joking around before, the moment he enters the operation room, he has a 180degrees character change.
Lee Jong SukThe only way is to practice. To make himself look like a genius doctor, he doesn’t stop practicing. Even during his rest time, he would be holding on to operation tools. His expressions were also perfectly done. Tightly closed lips and an expressionless face, he brings about a serious atmosphere instantly.
behind The 3D visualization before his operations shows the fact that Park Hoon is a genius doctor who grew up in the North. This is to show how he makes diagnosis in situations where medical facilities such as CT and MRI are not well equipped.
I have to be serious when I am doing an operation
Tightly closed lips
The secret behind the 3D visualizations?
Is this angle good?
Doesn’t stop studying
▶Park HoonvsLee Jong Suk⑥Warmth
Park Hoon Episode 7, when Park Hoon becomes a real doctor. When one of the twins’ heartbeat stopped and Hoon carefully carried the baby and carried out CPR on him.
Lee Jong Suk The tiny details in his performance leaves a strong impression on others. Carrying the baby in his arms and carrying out CPR played a big part in touching the audience. His gentle eyes doubled the impact.
behind It’s a scene where both Lee Jong Suk and the staff were touched. Lee Jong Suk was completely immersed in the character. After the CPR, he even had a moment of dizziness. The staff said they could feel his respect towards life through his acting.
How should I act this?
The very serious set
We have analysed Lee Jong Suk’s 6 different expressions, and can see how immersed in the character he is. His agency said “Lee Jong Suk is always studying his acting. Despite it being very heavy, he prepares very seriously every time, and have received a lot of praises.”
We directly asked Lee Jong Suk about his secret.
☞Starcast: How did you design the character of Park Hoon?
JS：Among all the characters I’ve acted, this is probably the one I spent the most time preparing for and studied the most. I like the basic premise of Park Hoon, and imagine him to be a character from a manga. From the start when I was designing this character, I borrowed a lot of elements from the main characters of Japanese mangas.
☞Starcast :When performing, what do you place most emphasis on?
JS: When acting with other characters, I had to ensure that Park Hoon’s emotions weren’t being carried along, and at the same time, had to match up to the other characters. I spent quite a lot of effort on this. Every character had their own story, so it was hard. Because of this, Park Hoon’s emotions and thoughts were simplified, and I had to show them using my expressions. This character could have showed a lot of things to to the audience, but it wasn’t able to focus after episode 9, and there are many regrettable points.
☞Starcast : I heard you spent a lot of effort on the details?
JS: I had put in a lot of effort regarding Park Hoon’s attitude to the patients, his tone when reading the lines, the way he walks, his eyes, tone and clothings etc. I discussed a lot with the stylists as well.
☞Starcast : Which area was more difficult to perform?
JS: It was diffciult to change the tone of Park Hoon’s voice when he speaks to the different characters. Also, when the scene changes, Park Hoon’s emotions changes as well. It is difficult to perform it such that it doesn’t feel too disconnected.
☞Starcast：To date, what is the most memorable scene?
JS: In episode 7 at the clinic, where Park Hoon talked about his trauma. When Kim SangJung sunbae’s appearance appeared in my head, I was overwhelmed with anger. It felt really paingful but at the same time, new. It was a feeling which I’ve yet to experience before.
☞Starcast：How do you differentiate the North and South Hoon?
JS: To Hoon, the North is a place which had caused him trauma, so in the North, I would be more sensitive and heavy. In contrast, the South is a place where Park Hoon seems to have seen through life? I want to give him that sort of a feeling.
☞Starcast: What is it that you wish to gain from “Doctor Stranger”?
JS: I’ve used up about all the expressions and emotions I can use, it’s pretty good. After the 20 episodes, I just wish I can gain something I didn’t have previously.
Look for the Jongsuk who is hiding
You’re a little heavy
[translation via 钟情唯硕 @ weibo]
[T/N: this was really long, i hope i didn’t mistranslate anything. mind the language as well, i know there are a lot of sentence structure errors, but my laptop is lagging really badly i don’t really want to use it much]
When you kiss them and confess for the first time~ 1/2
the JaeJinSon edition
*You and Jaebum are on a cute cafe date. You’d only been dating for a short time and you’d never confessed to him before… you sat there nervously whilst Jaebum ate and chatted away*
[JB] this is a really nice cafe Y/N… it was a good choice
*You’d finally gathered up the courage to confess but you couldn’t find the right time to say it…*
[JB] hm?*looking up from his food*
[Y/N]I need to talk to you…
*Jaebum looks at you worried*
[JB] is everything okay?
[Y/N] …well for a long time i’ve been feeling-
[JB]have I done something wrong?
*You hear panic in his voice and your face reddens as you realise that he thinks you’re trying to break up with him*
[Y/N] oh oh! no!*You start laughing awkwardly*
[JB] well what is it?
[JB]…just say it!*annoyed*
[Y/N]i’m in love… with you… *you hide your face in your hands and peak between your fingers*
*You had been dating Jinyoung for a few months… You’d both been taking it slow due to Jinyoung’s busy schedule. You didn’t see him very often and it was getting difficult to be away from him for so long*
*Jinyoung sits on the chair across from you and leans on the table*
[JR] so how have you been Jagi?
*You stare at his face so close to yours and you feel your heart rate increasing*
[Y/N] I’ve been good…
*Jinyoung smiles at you sweetly and takes your hand in his*
[JR] I always worry about you whilst I’m away… I missed-
*You lean forward and kiss him suddenly… his eyes open wide and you pull away embarrassed*
[JR]m-missed you… *blushing*
*You feel your face flush hot and you try to cover your grin… you can’t make eye contact with Jinyoung and he looks away with a big smile*
*Jinyoung can’t contain his happy laughter*
[JR]I guess… I guess you missed me too, huh?
*You’ve been hanging around with Jackson all day and you’ve ended up cuddling on the sofa. Jackson is acting like an idiot and making you laugh*
[Y/N] *laughing hysterically* You’re such a pabo! I love- *You stop embarrassed*
*You hope he hadn’t realised what you almost just said*
[JS] …huh? what was that?
*Your face turns red*
[Y/N] nothing… it was nothing!
[JS]were you… just about… to say…
*Jackson grins happily as you hide your face*
[JS]do you love me?
*You nod shyly and peak between your fingers. Jackson is grinning from ear to ear and he pulls you into his arms*
[JS] I’m glad
[Y/N]glad?*you ask shyly*
[JS] because I love you too~
[CREDIT to the gif owners - I do not own these gifs]
In your opinion, what do you think each boy would be like in a relationship and as a boyfriend? In detail if you wouldn't mind?
okay, i think both boys would be similar but also different if that makes since. I think Ethan would definitely be the type to send you good morning/good night texts. He would always surprise you with little gifts, I feel like, and he’d just be like “ I saw this and it made me think of you so I bought it. ” He’d always put you first, and always make sure you’re okay and comfortable as possible. There would be gifs, and YouTube videos of him and his girl just being cute. I think he’d be bashful in the relationship at first, but as you guys dated longer and began to love each other he’d open up and be as comfortable around you and he is Grayson. He’d definitely be persistent on getting you to love him and I think that he would be the type to bring you chocolates, and movies when you’re on your period. He and Grayson both would be very protective over you whether their dating, or pursuing you, or if you’re just good friends. Grayson on the other hand, would be jealous if someone else was checking you out or hugging you, or even looking at ya the wrong way. I think Grayson would just show up at your door randomly and would be like “ wanna go to the beach?? movies?? park?? on a walk??” and you’d js it shrug your shoulders and smile bc he was always surprising you. I think that he’d always take candids of you, and you’d never know until you wanted to take a selfie on his phone and see a whole album filled with pictures of you, good and bad, but he thought they were all amazing. You’d ask him about it, and he’d get all bashful, and his cheeks would litter with pink. Speaking of being bashful, I think anytime you would compliment Grayson he’d get all blushy and he’d give a little laugh and be like, “ babe stop ” then he’d take his turn at making you blush. I WANT ETHAN & GRAYSON!!
I’m laying in the same spot and my eyes are burning when i blink. A knock is at my door and its followed by The Joker making his way in.
“How did ya sleep doll?” He seems wide awake.
I groan as I sit up, I look over at him and he has taken a seat on the edge of the bed across from me.
“You are quite a sight in the morning.” He purrs.
I can’t help but laugh a little because I know I look like a wreck. I pull the covers over my head and sink down into the bed. I feel him shifting on the bed pressing down on the large comforter with his hands until he lands in me. He runs his hands over the blanket tracing me and it feels warm.
“It’s time for breakfast, and a new wrap.” His voice almost sounds soft and I forget for a moment that he’s not human.
I slide out from the side of the bed and he is already holding the door open. I take a second to look up and see the same man that tied me down to own me. Anger stirs in my stomach.
“We will eat, then you can take a shower and I’ll wrap that pretty thing up again, ok?” He holds his arm out so I can’t escape without answering him.
“Ok.” I breath out.
“Mr. J, for now.” He waits again for me to give the correct answer.
“Ok. Mr. J.” I realize how much of a control freak he is and it takes everything in me to let my answer drip sarcasm.
He lets me through and as soon as my back is towards him I roll my eyes. I make my way down the hallway and take my seat in the same spot as the night before. Mr. J is right behind me and sits down on my left. The same girl comes in and her hair is in the same bun, she offers me coffee this time. I nod my head and she fills the coffee cup and places cream and sugar on the table. She doesn’t offer any to Mr. J, she walks out of the dinning room and I fix my coffee the way I like it. Lots of cream, little sugar.
“So, whats the plan…” I take a sip of my coffee, “With all this?” I glance at him and then keep a tight stare on my coffee.
“For me to know, doll.” He doesn’t budge, his posture is slightly slouched but compared to mine his spine is straight.
I straighten up a little trying to meet his posture, I clear my throat and take a few more sips of coffee. The small framed girl comes back with a tray of food, I rarely eat breakfast so my apatite really isn’t there. She places a small scoop of eggs on my plate and a waffle, the portions are repeated on his plate.
“Whats your name?” I look at her before she leaves Mr. Js side.
She gives a look to Mr. J and he shrugs his shoulders, “Kathy, I’m Kathy.” Her voice has a southern ring to it, she gives a big smile and walks out. The silence is a killer in this dining room. I poke my food for a while as he eats in a continuous pattern.
“Uhm, Mr. J?” I interrupt his eating.
“Yes?” He puts down his utensils and leans back a bit and looks at me.
“I, well, I don’t really eat breakfast, I’m honestly not hungry. I mean, I’ll sit here, but I, sorry.” My leg is shaking under the table and I can feel my heart start to beat a little faster.
“Just a few bites.” Is all he says. He leaves his plates and removes himself from the table and walks out.
Once he leaves the room I close my eyes tight thinking how stupid that was. I pick at the food and take a few bites. It is really good and I end up taking a few more bites. I’m finished and now I don’t know if I am supposed to wait here to be excused.
Kathy comes to my rescue, “He said for you to head to the showers.” She gives a pressed smile.
I nod my head and push the chair away from the table to get out, her voice catches me off guard again.
“Whats your name?” She glances at me but keeps picking up all the dishes.
“I’m Skylar.” It felt nice to talk to someone normal.
“Nice to meet you, Skylar.” She gives me another smile, “Just do as he says, ok? Everything will be fine once he softens up a little.” Her voice turned to a small whisper.
“Easier said than done.” I whisper back with a small laugh and walk back to my room.
I look around a little bit more, taking my time to walk back to the shower. The high ceilings are elegant, there are four chandeliers just from the front door to the living room. They sparkle as the sun hits them from the widows placed on the second floor. There is a back door with a black curtain closed over it, the reds on the walls seem lighter today. Everything looks expensive, the light fixtures are gold, some with black mixed through them. There are small trinkets on the sporadic shelving, I can’t make out exactly what they are from where I am and I really don’t want to cause any problems. I make my way to the shower, I made sure to lock the bathroom door before stripping. I peel off the old wrap and the cool air hitting the ink wound sends a fire itch to the spot. I tense my fingers knowing I can’t scratch it. I try and distract myself from the sensation and turn the shower on, it takes only seconds for the water warm up and I step inside. I lather, rinse and repeat. Taking my time in the glorious shower, it feels like a five star hotel.
I let the water run over the ink, I cringe for a few seconds but the burning feeling comes to a stop. I stare at it, I go over each letter again and again. It still hasn’t set in, at least i don’t think it has.
I close my eyes and let the water run over my face once more before stepping out. I reach under the sink and grab a towel for my hair and a towel to wrap around my body. I sit on the bathtub for a moment, thinking. It turns to worry, Bri and Ryan are a constant pain in my heart. The pain is stopped for a moment as the familiar voice comes from outside the bathroom door.
“Are you showered princess?” I feel disgusted as I hear that word leave his mouth.
“Yeah, I just need to get dressed really quick.” I try and sound like it doesn’t bother me that he is outside the bathroom door.
“No need, i’ll be quick. Come on out.” I can almost hear the smirk in his voice.
I inhale sharply. I can feel the frustration and anger starting to fume in me. I know that will be the end of me though. I take a few steps closer to the door and turn the handle slowly with one hand as the other grips the towel closed around me.
“Ah, there she is. Have a seat.” He looks to the bed.
I do as i’m told and sit on the edge on the bed, I hold out my arm for him to get started.
“Does it itch?” He walks over and tears a piece of plastic.
I nod, “Pretty bad actually.” My voice comes out softer than i wanted.
“Don’t itch, you have to hit it.” He places the plastic over it and as soon as it touches the skin the itching sensation comes firing back.
I sigh trying to get my mind off the feeling. He takes four of his fingers and starts to hit the tattoo, gently at first but he adds a little more force and it helps, a lot.
“Better?” He asks as he steps back.
“Much.” I continue the hitting on my own arm, “Thanks Mr. J.” I glance at him and then back at the ink.
“I have business, you’ll be in here today. You’ll be served lunch. Eat if you want.” He’s short with me and then just walks out.
I shake my head and continue the hitting till the itching seems minimal. I get up and head to the closet. I throw on a pair of black leggings and a red t-shirt. I figure if I am going to be cooped up in here all day, I might as well be comfortable.
There isn’t a T.v in the room, or anything for entertainment, actually. I pull the phone off the night stand and stare at it. Its 10 a.m. I dial Bris number and erase it a few times. My stomach starts turning into knots and I wipe the few tears as they fall.
“Fuck it.” I say out loud.
I dial her number again and hit send, the line starts ringing.
“Hello?” Bris voice is urgent.
“Bri!” The tears start falling a little harder now.
“Skylar? Is that you? Where are you! Are you ok!” She sighs, “Im so happy to hear your voice, please tell me you are ok.”
“I’m, I’m alive. I can’t tell you where I am or how long I’ll be here. I just don’t want you or Ryan to worry. Im ok. Please don’t ask any more questions. I can’t answer them.” I’m trying to take deep breaths so I don’t crumble into a million pieces.
“Sky, what is going on? I’ll be worried about you till your home. Just tell me whats going on.” She sounds desperate for answers.
“Im fine. Thats all I can tell you. If i tell you more things won’t be fine. I really have to go, but please tell Ryan I love him, and I love you. Ok?”
Its silent for a few seconds, “We love you too, Sky. Please can you…” This was a voice I had never heard from her, scared. I hang up the phone, I can’t handle hearing her like that.
I lay on my side facing the window again. Tears roll over the bridge of my nose and a puddle is soaked into the pillow. I feel like all the energy has been drained from me. A small knock is on the other side of the door.
I clear my throat a little before saying “Come in.” It wasn’t very loud but Kathy heard it as she walked in.
“Here is lunch ..” She stops and gives me a sad expression.
“I’m fine.” I sit up and wipe my face from the tears but my red eyes are there to stay.
“It will get better.” She sets the tray down on the nightstand and closes the door on her way out.
I let the food sit there, my stomach is too full of knots. I curl up under the blankets and close my eyes, I didn’t expect to fall asleep but I did.
Im woken up by the door flying open and slamming against the wall behind it.
“Wake up princess!” Mr. J is almost screaming.
I rub my eyes with my hands and slowly sit up, my mind is a fog and i’m still realizing where I am when my air supply is cut off. Mr. J is on my side of the bed and his hand is around my throat holding my head against the headboard. He slams my head back once and it causes and instant headache.
“You think I don’t know?” His face is close to mine, his lips are inches from mine.
Im gasping for air, my hands are around his wrist trying to pull him off me, He takes his other hand and pins my hands down.
“You think i’m fucking stupid?” He slams my head back again, “I told you who that phone was to be used for, me. Only me. You broke that rule and I should break your neck.” His grip tightens.
My eyes are fluttering closed and his words start to seem muffled. He lets go and I collapse to the empty side of the bed and I fight to catch a single full breath of air. My vision comes back and my lungs start to fill with air at a semi normal rate. I look to see where he is, he is facing the window with his palms pressed against his forehead. His hands move to his side and he hits his head against the glass once, but hard. I flinch at the sound and I find myself feeling sorry for him. It’s almost like he didn’t mean to, but he still did it and I can’t let that go.
I clear my throat and sit up and rest my head back. I can feel my eyes well up as the situation sinks in. He turns towards me and I close my eyes tight, every second that he is in here feels like I have to brace myself.
“The phone.” His voice is low almost a whisper.
I search the blankets for a few seconds before my hands fumble the phone. I hold it out for him to grab and he takes it slowly. He makes his way to the door and I watch him, he stops before closing it. His eyes meet mine but its him who looks away first this time.
“Dinner in an hour.” He closes the door behind him.
I try my best to gather myself and my emotions for the time being. My head is pounding, I slide down into the bed and put my face into a pillow shielding all the lights in the room. It helps a little bit but I can feel some kind of mixture of emotions building up in me. A mix of fear, hate, sorrow, agony. A scream rips out of me and into the pillow softening the sound. Another scream, my throat burns all the way into my chest. Another scream, my eyes are closed tight but tears are still falling into the pillow. All I can think is ‘How long will i have to live like this?’
THERE’RE LOTS MORE, in conclusion, just any moment where they look and smile at each other. Any moment where JB starts off by saying ‘jackson no’ but gives in and complies with whatever Jackson wants the moment puppy stares at him with those beautiful eyes. Any moment where Jackson still finds JB chic&sexy when I just think he’s being a dork….. They’re gross I hate them.
Q: everyone gets along very well . do you have special nicknames that you use to call each other?
Jb: (while pointing Bambam) “toothpaste” (when asked what’s the reason) it’s because it looks like his hair *laughs*
Yg: i call Bambam snake *laughs* (*in Korean Baem means snake)
Mk: Jr. Is the mother! A..that’s different
Bb: laid-back *laughs*
(a lot of words come out that the 6 of them are having a rambling talks)
Jr.: iam going to have this conversation straight. Whatever iam doing, iam doint it in a really slow pace. That’s why iam called laid-back *laughs* that’s why iam doing everything at my own pace.
Bb: he’s always the last one to ride the car and also the last one to take a shower.
Jb: Yugyeom is big banana because he’s long and yello *laughs* (Yugyeom is tall and has blonde hair)
Bb: Jackson is gag man
Js: iam the mood maker of the group so i should be entertaining/funny. Mark is maa (*in Korean it means freedom)
Q: any nickname for Youngjae who has been quite since a while ago?
Yg: nothing *laughs*
Everyone: *burst out laughing*
Js: there is! A younger brother that doesn’t appear as younger brother. Normally older members should look after the younger members but he can do anything by himself so he’s not a younger brother-like.
Q: what colour represents you?
Js: this is a good question! Black black! Since all my clothes are all black
Mk: this question has something to do with personality, right? *laughs*
Jr.: iam white. Rather than having this colour inside of me, the meaning of white colour for me is that it can turn into any colour.
Jb: iam grey. It may feel like the dirty version of jr’s white *laughs* but it’s not like that. It’s because it has a vintage image?
Yg: iam light blue. Sinceit has a meaning of absorbing various things in process. My image of it is like.. from light colour it gradually become darker. It’s light blue because i still have a clear and pure feeling now *laughs*
Everyone: waah that’s deep *claps*
YJ: iam red! I have bright personality and i love red! *laughs*
Js: ooh it’s about the colour that represents ur personality and not about your favourite colour? (Jackson who finally understand the meaning of the qeustion) then iam going to change may answer iam rianbow.
Everyone: eeeeh… *laughs*
Js: for me to entartain everyone i update all the time
Jr.: Jackson certainly have different colours
Bb: iam gold (Jackson: a colour that looks expensive. Jr. : let’s listen to his reason first. Jb: tell ur reason) aah..*laughs* uuhm..i like flashy stuff than simple ones and i have bright and energetic persoanlity. *laughs*
Yg: the last one..aah it’s Mark hyung again! Majima~~ku *laughs* (*in Korean Majimaku means the last)
Mk: Youngjae asnwered it too a while ago. I can’t think of anything besides red. I don’t know the reason too why i chose red *laughs*
Js: that’s great! It’s still an answer!
Introduce each other charms briefly~
Jackson and Youngjae: cute!
Jr. : he’s cool when he’s on stage but normally he’s really cute. He’s a baby! *laughs*
Bambam: takes care of the members warm-heartedly
Yugeyom: good looking, dances well, and also..
Jackson: it says “just briefly”
Everyone: *burst out laughing*
Jr. : Yuegyeom has a lot of charms, First of all he’s tall!
Jr. : he dances well. That’s it!
Jackson: his voice is loud! very much!
Jb: his smile is really good.
Jr. : his unprentitious personality is good too!
Youngjae: thank you *laughs*
Youngjae: really funny!
Jr.: it hink for me he’s the idol with the best sense of humor among the Korean idols
Yugyeom: martial arts tricking King!
Bambam: chic personality
Jr. : really good at mimicry
Mark: good leader
Jackson: cool and sexy. Has a strong sense of responbility