i was listening to 'it's gonna be me' while i made this

petrichordiak  asked:

can i hear more about the class you hijacked? (this doesnt have to be private)

I actually got out of bed just so I could go full rant about this on my  computer, so y’all buckle up (thank you for giving me this opportunity lololol)

Okay, so this happened about a year, maybe a year and a half ago. I’m gonna go ahead and make this one public for the benefit of those that didn’t follow me back then, if that’s cool.

Let me preface this by saying that I had taken literally every one of the professor’s classes before then. Partly because they were the only anthropology style class the uni offered, and partly because halfway through the second class I realized that literally everything was the same, except the books, which we never used. Even the assignments were the same, and I had perfected a system of how to do those quickly, easily, and last-minute, lol. So it was pretty much the definition of an easy A, and the prof liked me bc I was nice, actually listened to her even though I’d heard it all before, and didn’t rat her ass out for not actually teaching what she was supposed to, lol.

I should’ve known right there.

So when there was an opportunity to take a Native Americans in North America class with her, I jumped on it. I needed the hours, I obviously knew a lot on the subject already, and it would be another easy a, if history was anything to go by. 

It became one of the most frustrating classes I have ever taken.

As always, the class started the same as the others. We started out learning about vocab and models. NBD, we’d get to specifics eventually, right?

Now there are about 16 to 18 weeks in your average semester.

By week 6 we had yet to learn anything about Native history. She’d assigned some reading about the moundbuilder’s archeological sites, but nothing about the modern day. Maybe she was just taking it slow, I thought, though I was bothered by her only talking about Natives in the past tense. But she’d told me in the first class I’d taken with her (years ago by now) that she was enrolled Native, so I didn’t call it out immediately. 

We get to week 8, halfway through the semester, she hadn’t covered anything. No mention of treaties, modern movements for civil rights, AIM (American Indian Movement), the illegal overthrow of Hawai’i, buffalo kill offs, smallpox blankets, Chicago museum’s bullshit, NAGPRA (a law protecting grave sites and demanding the return of remains to their Nation by museums and sites, if the Nation will accept them (sometimes they allow the remains to be housed by the museum bc they’re typically more secure there, but that’s very rare)) beyond how it affected archeologists, the different regions, the language families, ghost dance, the flooding of lands by companies illegally, human zoos, RESIDENTIAL SCHOOLS, THE FUCKING TRAIL OF TEARS, NOTHING.

Like your 4th grade history segment, as racist as it probably was, probably was more informative than this bitch was being, okay? And I was getting mad. Y’all know me. Native activism is a huge part of my life, and has been for years. Students were being allowed to say really racist shit unchecked. The prof wasn’t teaching jack. Misinformation was being spread, even by the prof.

It felt like even in a class dedicated to us, we didn’t matter. Our history didn’t matter. 

I was fed up.

Then, she pissed me the absolute fuck off. She proceeded to spend the rest of the class talking about South America.

Now, our Indigenous family below the equator absolutely deserve to be discussed. They have so many issues that really, really need to be boosted and respected. We do not raise their voices often enough. But this was a class specifically about North America, and her reasoning for making it otherwise was racist in so many ways.

First, she changed the curriculum outside of its scope because she was “MORE INTERESTED IN SOUTH AMERICA, AND WOULD HAVE TO DO RESEARCH TO TALK ABOUT” the issues I was publicly demanding to know when she would cover. As if her personal interest and ignorance were more important than our lives. 

(side note, it turns out she was lying about being enrolled and Native. Her white supremacist brother (not even kidding) had said that a Cherokee woman chief in Minnesota or some shit had enrolled them. I asked her if she meant Wilma Mankiller, the first modern female Cherokee chief. She said no, it was someone else, and in the late nineties, after Wilma would’ve no longer been Chief. I publicly called her out, and even another student jumped in to help, because there was no other woman Chief then, and there was no recognized Nation that far North. Her white supremacist brother had lied bc he felt othered while working near the Din’e on a job site, bc they didn’t include his racist ass, lol. So she’d lied her way into being allowed to teach a class she didn’t even know or care about. So at this point, I was fucking done with her, lol)

She also was showing us old propaganda films, and literally every group she discussed was being painted as ignorant, warlike savages by her and the materials. She even defended a man that intentionally exposed Indigenous peoples with no immunity to certain diseases to said diseases ‘just to see what would happen.’ She recommended his books, including ‘Noble Savages’ to us. I shouldn’t have to explain why that’s racist, lmao.

All of this is to say that I was VERY fed up, she (and the class) was VERY racist, and she was going down.

Then her foolish self decided to assign a massive project where we were supposed to ‘teach the class’ about a Native subject (y i k e s, esp. since the class was full of non-Natives). Since I was Fed Up, I decided to skip the usual schooling on cultural appropriation to instead teach everyone (including her) about just a smattering of the important things she hadn’t even mentioned in passing. :)

What followed was a 33 page powerpoint.

Apologies for any inaccuracies, and blanket tw for slurs, racism, death, csa, torture, child abuse, etc etc etc

(I added all the regalia pics bc they made me happy and calmed me down, which I was gonna need. I set the presentation up as “Man, I sure had trouble deciding what to make my presentation about. Should I talk about X? Y? Z? This? That? This? And so on until I reached residential schools and Reconciliation as my discussion topic.)

I hope those gifs work. If not, they should be under my “Oka Crisis” tag, or “n i fn a history” and “n i fn a protests” tags. I also had decided early to use the Nations actual names where possible.

Oh look, a quick and easy way to make people realize THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T FUCKING REFER TO US AS SLURS, and here’s how to discuss the issue without being additionally harmful.

OH LOOK, SOURCES

#FreeLeonardPeltier

Getting progressively angrier at this point. The class is smart enough to stay silent.

#MMIW #NoMoreStolenSisters. Please bring them home. Whatever it takes.

Stayed on this slide juuust long enough to stare each person in class down.

Oh look, we’re finally hitting my actual topic. Again, shit’s about to get very heavy. Please read only if you can. I will not be glancing over these to check them rn, bc I can’t. I’m sharing just for y’all to see, and hopefully reblog to educate people.

I honestly wept as I worked on this part. I can’t read it again.

Calling it out.

AYUP. Canadians are so nice and their government isn’t problematic at all

There are survivors that are my age, and younger.

Not letting them forget that this isn’t just in the past. It still wounds us.

It still hurts. We’re still recovering.

I included resources for them, including the prof, to actually educate themselves, since our school sure as shit wasn’t going to do it.

A handful of my sources.

Anyways. I was done. So fucking done. She (the prof) still tried to guide the class back and pretend that it was acceptable that she hadn’t taught them anything. I didn’t let her. I reminded them all that the only reason that this was Canada focused was bc they’d just had the Truth and Reconciliation reports, whereas the US government hasn’t put any effort into assembling data on their atrocities. Go figure.

Anyways, happy #Canada150 everybody :)

OK to reblog.

Back to School/Uni Tips!

I’m headed into my 3rd year of uni, so I thought I’d make a post sharing my tips on how to do well in school, not burn out, and keep your mental health relatively stable.

1. Snacks - seriously, don’t leave home without at least 2 substantial snacks in your bag. If you’re go-go-going all day and suddenly your sitting in a lecture about to crash cause you haven’t eaten anything all day, you’re gonna want snacks. Some suggestions: Cashews (they’re not super loud/crunchy, so they’re perfect for lecture snackin’), a granola bar, an apple, cherry tomatoes, trail mix.

2. Don’t buy the textbook before you go to your first class - I’ve worked at a university bookstore for 2 years, and every year, people end up buying 700$ worth of first year text books, and then they don’t even use them. Wait. and then wait some more. If there are required readings, then get the textbook, if your prof says there will be questions from the textbook on the exam, then get the textbook, but trust me, for 90% of first year classes (and a lot of other ones) you don’t need the textbook. SAVE YOUR WALLETS

3. Take notes efficiently - honestly the best way to take notes, is type up the lecture notes that are provided, BEFOREHAND, and then during lecture, fill in the blanks/add information/take down any important things your prof is saying as you go through the lecture on your laptop in a different color. This way you’re much less likely to miss any important information, you won’t be confused about what to take down, and you won’t fall into the trap of taking down notes that are already being provided to you. After class, or while making study notes, copy these notes out by hand to remember what you learned.

4. Keep it simple - pretty notes are GREAT if you have the time, but once you get to upper level uni, and you have 100 slides of notes to turn into study notes, you will not have the time to make your notes look aesthetically pleasing. Just get the info down so you can focus on learning it.

5. Have a designated study space - i did all of my highschool homework and studying in my bed, and 90% of the time, I ended up falling asleep. My bed wasn’t going to cut it for uni, so I got a cheap ikea desk, and it’s made me so much more organized and productive.

6. Take as much ‘you time’ as possible - take a bath. light candles. binge watch a tv show. veg out with a book for 4 hours if you have the time. do your makeup super special one day. get yourself that venti pumpkin spice latte with extra whip whenever you feel like it. Uni is a shitty time I’m not gonna lie. It’s stressful as f*ck, and whenever you can spare a couple hours or a couple dollars to TREAT YO SELF, do it.

7.  If you have anxiety, CUT THE COFFEE. caffeine is a huge trigger for anxiety. Caffeine takes away from your sleep, messes with your adrenalin systems, and can make you super paranoid and anxious all the time. 

8. If you think your in the wrong major, change it - I started in geology, and I HATED IT. Now I’m in psych and I love it. It is never too late for a change of program. If you think you’re doing something you don’t wanna do, or your not enjoying it, don’t do it.

9. For mornings you have to be ready and out the door, or if you’re a person who always runs late, have a getting-ready routine and get it down pat. Have a mental list of things you need to do, and things you need to remember, and find out how much time it takes you. Get up at 8am, shower, wash face/brush teeth, get dressed, do makeup, pack bag, remember keys, wallet, laptop, notebook, pen and train pass, have breakfast, put on shoes, leave by 9am.

10. Utilize your time in transit. - finish a reading, go over flashcards, read study notes, listen to an album you’ve been meaning to listen to, read a book, read some fanfic, idk but don’t just sit there unless just sitting there is what you need.

11. Find a hobby or passion that is separate from your school/uni life. Whether its playing sports, or running, reading, collecting plants, making scrapbooks, curating a refined taste in tea, having baths, writing in a journal, find something that if you’re bored with watching shows or studying, you can go do it, and enjoy it, and get your mind off all the other shit that’s going on in your life for awhile.

about last night (m)

Originally posted by hohbi

pairing: jimin x reader

genre: enemies to lovers | explicit smut, fluff and angst

length: 15k

summary: you had promised yourself; if you were to ever hook up with that asshole park jimin, it would be just a one night stand.

a/n: dis was a monster to write im so tired. i stayed up until 12pm to finish this and now its finally done :) also how does every new fic i write get dirtier and dirtier?? idk. 

Keep reading

  • what she says: I'm okay
  • what she means: Can I say my shit? Can I say my shit? I've got lots of shit to say. I've got lots of shit to say. I can't fit my hand inside a Pringle can, I have a huge amount of trouble fitting my hand inside of a Pringle can. I can get my hand like four inches into the can but then I have to tilt the can into my mouth but then a bunch of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can so they all go spilling onto my face. What I'm trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. I'll say it again. The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small. If you feel me, put your hands up, Come on! If you feel me, put your hands up! Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside of a Pringle can! Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can, your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. You think you can, I know you can't, you think you can. Pringles! Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent of the complaint letters you get are about the width of your cans?! Just... make them wider?! I've overdone the Pringles thing, sorry. I want to have a daughter. I want to have a daughter so I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in the Pringle can. Yes, I'm still on the Pringle cans thing! Yeah! I'll move on, alright? But that is priority número uno. I don't go to the gym because I'm self-conscious about my body but I'm self-conscious about my body cause I don't go to the gym. Irony can be so painful. That's a Catch-22. Let's do this! I went to Chipotle, I went to Chipotle, got myself a chicken burrito. I went down the line and I got all these ingredients and at the end of the line the guy tried to wrap the burrito but half of the shit inside the burrito spilled out. He still wrapped it. I was like, dude you should have warned me! You're a burrito expert, you should have told me halfway through: "Hey, man. You might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here" Do you fucking think I want a messy burrito? No one wants a messy burrito! The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained within the confines of the tortilla. I wouldn't have gotten half of the shit if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito! Alright? Look I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got half of it! Like, I'm okay with small mistakes, if you've got no more chicken I'll take pork. But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. Man, I wouldn't have got half of it, like half of it, like, half of it, like, half of it, like half of it right now,I think it's time I think it's time, I think that we break this down. I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are pringle cans, and burritos. The truth is, my biggest problem's you. I want to please you but I want to stay true to myself. I want to give you the night out that you deserve but I want to say what I think and not care what you think about it. Part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of me needs you, part of me fears you. And I don't think that I can handle this right now, handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. Look at them, they're just staring at me like, "come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself." I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. They don't even know the half of this right now, they don't even know the half of it. But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show so I should probably just shut up and do my job so here I go. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got half. You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme and if they still don't understand you then you run it one more time. I don't think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) I don't think that I can handle this right now (Hoo!) If you think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) Right now (Haa!) Now, handle this right, handle this right, handle this right now.Thank you, good night! I hope you're happy.
Side to Side

Pairing: Tom Holland!Peter Parker x Stark!Reader

Prompts: None

Word Count: 2465

Warning(s): Some swear words, slight smut (Nothing crazy but it goes there)

Requests: I have like 10 followers so like none of you pay attention to me (jk jk you guys are cool)

Song: Side to Side  (duh) by Ariana Grande

Author’s Note: This is kinda crap but I’m totally obsessed with Tom Holland and Spider-Man Homecoming so come on this wild ride and be trash with me! Give me feedback please I promise I’ll get to it in like 10 years

Summary: Reader and Peter (slant rhyme woo) are friends and both on the Avengers. They’re training in the gym and things get s t e a m y…

Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

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Sleepy, Needy, Greedy (M)

⤞ When a simple case of morning wood proves to be much more difficult to get rid of than anticipated!

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Jackson x reader

Genre: just plain smut, you have been warned!

Word count: 4.7k

Warnings: rated M, graphic sexual descriptions

A/N: okay wow this took me FOREVER to finish but here it is, at last! I hope you’ll enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it ;)

Keep reading

quotes from the music department

*Repeatedly sings part of the music in scat*

“Ben swore to Jesus that if he didn’t help me at the concert he’d do thirty push-ups in front of the entire band, and I’m just as excited for this as you guys are.”

“If it were easy, football players would be doing this”

“We were 4.75 points off of the next band, and I’ll make certain this number will haunt you until next season.”

“Tomorrow’s gonna be a rough week.”

“I’ll just get a golf cart to follow the band in the parade. Maybe one day I’ll play a halftime show in a golf cart, all by myself.”

“No, Danny, you’re not starting a group chat for jazz.”

“Someone made me a 22&½-inch stick to measure steps. Don’t make me use it.”

“Trumpets, raise your right hand, and move it over to the person next to you. You’ll be fingering the notes on their trumpet.” *leans over to woodwinds* “this is gonna be really funny”

“We don’t have Thursday night rehearsal this week, so live the lives you have outside of band. So basically, catch up on homework.”

“Here it is– wait no, that’s 32 pages, that’s not right.”

“Before we step off on Saturday, you need to focus and say the following prayer”

“All the freshmen are on break, none of them are here!” *section leader raises hand* “Adeline’s here” “She’s the only one ADELINE WHY DONT YOU TAKE BREAKS IN THE STANDS”

“I hope this is loud enough, because this is as loud as its gonna get” *glares at the saxophone that forgot the speaker* “He forgot the speaker, my own flesh and blood.”

“As usual, the bassist knows the articulation and rhythms to the saxophone parts better than the saxophones do.”

*beatboxes to metronome*

“I want you to go home, do homework, practice, do more homework, have a milkshake, and practice some more.”

“If you want to annoy the heck out of a musician, play a cadence but leave out the last chord and wait like 20 minutes”

“this passage is called ‘Glendy Burk.’ I went to high school with her, actually.”

“you aren’t feeling well? Drugs?”

“while I was in the middle of complimenting you, you made a mistake”

“that saxophone line was jazzy as hell”

“you just have to play angrier”

“what’s the point if they’re all accented?”

“you squeaked in tune”

“can you take that d?”

“you can play my final pitch”

“imagine brass knuckles, but on a tambourine”

“I had to blow on my tongue”

“Bethany, you’re my number one!”

“the entire band is pianissimo, so play really loud. mezzo piano.”

“go through the head”

“BAD tambourine!!!”

“112 is the American tempo”

“the audience started clapping during the caesura. I didn’t know whether to continue on or leave the stage.”

“Matthew, while you were gone, Ed and I determined that you’re a freeloader”

“you came in early” “I don’t remember”

“did you just compare terrible bass parts to a terrorist attack?”

“Christ, Elizabeth, you’re such a violinist”

“All of our violas are at another rehearsal today, so we’ll begin today’s rehearsal with a prayer as that is the only thing that can save us.”

“We don’t have a spare bass bow to use while Ed’s is being rehaired, so you two are just gonna have to share. Yeah. Sorry about that.”

“Ah, yes, but what baroque style are we talkin’ here”

“It was at that point she handed the first chair violin a viola part. He proceeded to hand it back to her.”

“I went home and cradled that music. I never get original bass parts.”

“She turned the page in her score and forgot to continue conducting. Honestly, I would’ve been less surprised had she thrown her baton into the cello section”

“There are two basses in pit this year, so we’re an actual section, so he can’t just shove us in the corner this year HIGH FIVE”

“Does she really know how to buy a bow? She should make it a field trip so you get the right one.” *swings hands in air super wide* “it has to AGREE and BLEND with the instrument DO YOU SEE”

“When the orchestra director doesn’t know what to do she just asks the second chair. If he’s gone, she waits until a day he attends rehearsal to ask him.”

“Don’t be afraid to play out. Except during rests. Then you should be very afraid.”

“is it ok if I start to cry a little right now?”

“I had anaemia as a kid, and my schoolteacher’s name sounded like ‘anaemia’, so naturally, I hated her”

“she took the pen out of my hand and said, ‘no, Richard, use pencil.’ I was so mad”

“I don’t think it’s a coincidence that there are fewer bassists today and higher rates of suicide, gang violence, school shootings…”

“channel your inner Whitney Houston”

“play quietly, like you’re about to wake a baby. except you’re the baby, because you didn’t practice”

“I have another metronome app now. I collect them.”

“if someone calls my bass a cello one more time I’m gonna lose it”

“at the gig, a drunk guy came up to me, pointed to my harp, and called it a sideways piano”

“I want the space between these notes to be so big you can fit a little drawing of a house, a sun, a tree, and little dog in there.”

“90º angle notes”

“I want the sixteenth notes so sharp they could kill a man”

“turn the soundbox on”

“do you have a fancy phone? the answer is yes, yes you do.”

“I listened to the narration a few times before realising it was in German”

“I’ve got, like, four copies of that piece. the conductor keeps forgetting that I already have it and makes me a new copy.”

“soon I’ll have AIDS. Hearing aids, I mean. I’m old, is what I’m saying”

“more birdlike, turn on roundabout faster”

“kissing from the left is different from kissing from the right. not that I would know. asking for a friend.”

Take It Like A Puppy (M)

Originally posted by jaayhope

Summary: You and Hoseok have been best friends since you were young. Your friendship with him, was struck as odd since you were a cat hybrid, while he was a dog hybrid. But that didn’t matter, that is until you both start attending university. What happens when one of you unexpectedly goes into heat?

Pairing: Jhope x Reader

Genre: Smut (M), hybrid!au, Cat hybrid reader, Dog hybrid Jhope

Word Count : 5.5k

A/N: This story contains graphic descriptions of sex, cum play, bondage, oral, etc. Heavy dom/sub undertones. Lmao this is just a sinful read. I’m a sucker for hybrid aus, so i had to make one ;) Anywho, this is a mature read! You have been warned!



You’ve known Hoseok since you were nine years old. At the time, you were just a quiet little kitten, who didn’t have many friends. Hoseok, was an annoying hyperactive puppy, who everybody adored in your class. He didn’t really bother you that much, until you became desk partners. That’s when he thought it was okay to pop your ‘personal space bubble’ and sniff you, every second he got.


“Why do you keep trying to smell me!” the nine-year-old you shouted. This was the third time you caught him in the act, ever since you became seat mates a week ago.

“I’m part canine! That’s what we always do!” Hoseok explained, with a smile on his face. He didn’t really know you that much, only that you were always super quiet. But he wanted to change that, he wanted a feline as a friend for once.

“Well can you stop? Its kinda weird,” you replied uncomfortably.

Including you, there were only two other cat hybrids in your class, the rest were a split between bunny, dog, and fox hybrids. Thus, you were extremely uncomfortable with this puppy trying to get up all in your space. Besides, you were quite afraid of dog hybrids since they could become aggressive easily.

“No, you’re weird,” the puppy joked.

You finally turn to glare at him, then let a hiss seethe through your teeth.

Keep reading

Yall know the drill. 5 miles, BNHA episode recap

  • Every single one of my Group Project With Terrible Group Members anxieties was on fire within 30 seconds of this episode
  • Me, quietly, under my breath: Clearly Deku is trying to do the work it’s his partner who’s not helping tell the teacher Deku deserves an A its not his fault hes in a shitty group.
  • For real this is almost a tongue-in-cheek commentary on schools handling bullying. Turns to the person clearly only being victimized who’s done nothing wrong. “Now I think you BOTH need to work on your get-along skills hmmm?”
  • They sure like to name episodes as “[Character name]: Origin”
  • I really like how Shonen Logic:tm: works where characters can be smashed through buildings and be fine, but Bakugou whapping Deku in the nose with his stupid gauntlet leaves Deku wincing on the ground.
  • and by “really like” i mean “im really fucking hurt. Deku looked so hurt he didnt deserve that”
  • Look at him. Look at him he didnt deserve that. Someone please kick Bakugou’s ass.
  • Status update: the rest of the episode is All Might kicking Bakugou’s ass. Nice. Prick.
  • Bakugou: [yells]
    Deku: [yelling] stop yelling!
  • All Might proceeds to shut Bakugou up. Nice All Might good job listening.
  • I’m so happy for All Might. He’s having the best time being a villain. You know he’s giggling like a five year old on the inside you know it. He gets to just break shit and be evil. I love it.
  • [Obligatory Sans Undertale joke]
  • OKAY SO ALL MIGHT’S NOT FUCKING AROUND ALRIGHTY THIS IS FINE.
  • HI WELCOME TO U.A. THE TOP SCHOOL IN THE WORLD OUR CURRICULUM IS BEATING THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING PULP OUT OF YOUR CHILDREN ANY QUESTIONS?
  • That’s not even hyperbole Bakugou got his breakfast beaten right out of him RIP Bakugou yikes
  • NGL the changing angle made it look for a moment like All Might impaled Deku with that fence and like….little dark, All Might.
  • “You will be my successor Midoriya when I pass the torch on oh shit fuck right you needed those internal organs. Ive lived without mine so long I forgot they were there. My bad. ……Should I move the fence?”
  • Bakugou: “I’m going to beat All Might with my own two fists!”
    All Might:
    -punches Bakugou’s breakfast right out of him-
    Bakugou: “Never mind!!!! Turns out I suck!!! Test canceled!!! I quit!!!”
  • Deku: -slugs Bakugou- listen u shit I’m not throwing away my A for this.
  • “We still have to fight All Might!!” Okay Vomit-Mouth.
  • Poor Deku, for the whole alley scene. Bakugou’s just fucking screaming at him 2.5 inches away and Bakugou won’t wipe his damn mouth like damn at least pop a breath mint or something if youre gonna harrass Deku point-blank like that it’s gross.
  • I LOVE ALL MIGHT’S RUN HE LOOKS LIKE A DOOFY VIDEO GAME CHARACTER
  • Deku: “Finally, with Bakugou’s gauntlet I can use a quirk without breaking my own arm.”
    Deku: -breaks his arm from the recoil-
    Deku: “Oh fucking come on”
  • I love Bakugou just blast-zooming through the air while he and Deku talk it’s like those long-ass Naruto scenes where they hop 2945 feet between branches. Except poor Deku’s gotta like, actually run. Offer him a ride Bakugou you animal.
  • Deku: “That gate’s fucking kawaii and I’m kinda insulted considering how I’ve been nearly killed to death like four times in this thing but okay whatever.”
  • DORK
  • ALL MIGHT THEYRE CHILDREN GODDAMN

I BEAT A MOTHER FUCKER WITH ANOTHER MOTHER FUCKER

  • Bakugou: -uses his quirk to fucking launch Deku toward the goal like a sack of potatoes-
    me, thinking back to the physical tests of season 1: Haha call back.
  • ALL MIGHT THEY ARE C H I L D R EN
  • Bakugou: “what!!?? YOU THOUGHT DEKU WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD BREAK ALL HIS ARMS AND SCREAM!!? I CAN BREAK MY ARMS EVEN FUCKING BETTER THAN HE CAN”
  • ALL MIGHT THIS IS NOT HOW MERCY WORKS
  • this is physically painful to watch im like upset
  • theyre kids theyre just kids leave them a l o n e
  • also Bakugou trying to bite All Might’s hand as a last ditch effort is just….real sad? It hurts? This all hurts?
  • Im glad Deku punched All Might he was being a real jackass today.
  • Recovery Girl, for the 19375th time: “The absolute fucking shit I put up with because of you people”
Quiet - Bucky x Reader - One Shot

Originally posted by deniz-is-a-witch


A/N -  Thanks so much for the ongoing support for all the one shots I keep spamming you guys with. Any requests would be appreciated 

Bucky x Reader - Bucky gets jealous over Steve’s constant need to save you.

Warnings: Fluff, mentions of smut.

Keep reading

Little Witch (Part 1)

Pairings: It’ll be a Peter x reader

word count: 1730

Requested:  Hey can you write one where the avengers go to recruit a girl they heard about? She lives in the deep woods and uses magic. When they find her they weren’t expecting someone so young since she’s only like 14-15. They start having second thoughts but she shows them that she can handle herself. She also wants revenge cause hydra killed her family trying to get to her.

A/N: I made the reader a little older and i hope it’s not a problem. I really liked the request and i have a big idea how to continue this. I hope you like it and if so let me know in order to post a Part 2 and maybe more ;) Enjoy (and sorry for the mistakes)

Originally posted by merlinemryspendragon


It was Saturday and everyone in the Avenger tower was finally able to relax. The whole week represented a lot of missions, hours of training and a serious lack of sleep. Today had to be their day off. Nat was trying to find an interesting film on the TV but for now with no luck. Steve was in his room immersed in his thought for the present again. Tony, as always, was doing something in his laboratory with Bruce but this time they weren’t eager to make a progress so fast, so they were mostly telling each other jokes rather than work. Clint and Vision, unusually, were cooking whatever they could think of while Peter, Wanda and Thor were ready to become tasters. Everything was going fine until a familiar and detestable sound reached their ears.

“Good morning, Avengers.”, said Colson, “How are you in this sunny and beautiful day?”

“Oh, hey Son of Col! We are perfect.”, Thor answered with a bright smile on his face.

Now everyone was in the living room looking at the man in a black suit showing on the huge TV.

“If you have to tell us something good then go on, if not…better fuck yourself.”

“Well, I’m glad to see you too, Romanoff.”, the man looked with a smile at the red-head and then turned again to the whole gang, “Okay, I will go to the main part. Three days ago something extraordinary happened in woods north of Minnesota.”, bellow him appeared some photos, “As you see, some of the trees are burnt but definitely not from a fire, and this one.”, a photo showing something like spikes coming from the ground became in view.

“What the hell is this?”, Peter exclaimed, “How is that even possible?”

“That’s what you have to find out.”

“What?! No!”, Tony said angrily. “No! Not going to happen! We have a day off, Colson!”

“I know you do, but it’s important. Given the fact it’s like 7km away from a Hydra base, it may be someone used for an experiment. And we need only three or four of you to go and check.”, the man announced.

“I’m in!”, Wanda said with no hesitations.

“Count me, too”, Clint raised his hand to show that he’s ready.

“And me.”

“Peter, you are not going.”, Tony declared.

“Why not? We only have to check what’s going on, that’s all.”

“He is right Tony, and I will go, too.”, Steve stated and the four of them received the needed information.

“I’m sick of Mr. Stark treating me like a kid.”, Peter breathed out as he and the other three avengers were getting in the helicopter.

“But you are a kid, Pete.”, Steve sat down and put his belt on. The others followed his actions and soon they were high above the ground.

“That’s not what I mean. I may be a kid as I am that young but I can look after myself. I can do things just like you guys. I want and I can become a hero. It seems he…he doesn’t want me to be one.”

“You know that’s not true.”, Wanda tried to calm the boy down, “He is just afraid. You and either I are new in all of this, but he, Steve and Clint are deep in this dangerous world and know what it costs to be a hero.”

“Wanda is right, boy. I share Stark’s thoughts but not completely. If you want to be a hero, you must know that you risk the lives of your beloved ones – family, friends, girlfriends… We all have experienced the feeling of losing someone; we just don’t want you to go through this at that young age.”, Clint said while checking his arrows.

“But don’t worry, we’ll be beside your back.”, Steve patted Peter’s shoulder and till the end of the flight nobody spoke.

Two hours later the group was finally at the mentioned place. There was no place for the helicopter to land so the heroes had to get down with the help of a rope.

“So…which direction should we go?”, Clint questioned as he, the last one, got on the hard ground.

“North.”, Steve looked at his compass to make sure he was right and then led the gang towards the destination.

“Why would somebody stay so deep In the woods?”, Peter decided to break the silence.

“I don’t think they are just staying there, Pete.”

“They are hiding.”, Wanda respond back.

“Why do you think so?”

“Colson said that there is a Hydra base in the distance…I think whoever managed to escape, is now terrified and…and angry.”

“How can you be so sure? Hydra probably sent out somebody to see if he can cooperate and serve them.”, the way Steve retorted back showed he had no good feeling towards the organization.

“Because I can feel it!”

“What do you mean?”, Peter was so confused given the fact he was new and didn’t have much information about the Hydra thing and Wanda’s powers.

“Sometimes I can either get in your head or memories, or feel your emotions.”

Steve was about to say something back as his anger has somehow unlocked but Clint was the one to stop them from a fight.

“Guys! We have a work to do and right now it’s in front of us.”, Hawkeye showed the previously seen spikes, which were like 10 meters away from them, “Can you solve your problems when we are back in the base, and I am away from your childish behavior?”

Wanda and Steve looked a little ashamed while Peter was still standing there with a stupid expression on his face while trying to figure the things out. While going to the strange and kind of a scary place the gang saw some burnt trees, others had a burnt hand mark on them, others were still up but their leaves were dry. As they were becoming closer a change in the temperature was felt.

“It wasn’t that hot minutes before. I’m sweating in this costume and now my body is itching like crazy.”, Parker announced as he began scratching.

“It’s coming from the inside.”

The spikes coming from the ground were making something like a dome. The sharp sides were touching at the top, while at the bottom they were forming a circle. This ‘structure’ was definitely made for some sort of protection.

“Maybe the person is inside this thing.”

“I will try to break it. Step back.”, Wanda commanded and then, using her magic, she broke one of the spikes. As she did so, another one grew but not upwards. Instead the spike with its sharp side directed at her body was about to kill her if it wasn’t Steve to save her.  They both fell on the ground while the others two tried to save themselves from the other deadly formations that suddenly appeared from the ground.  

“What the hell was that?!”, Clint exclaimed as he tried to catch his breath.

“I don’t know but we better find a way to…”, Peter was interrupted from Wanda’s scream to watch out. But his spider senses had already informed him about a danger. He jumped and used his webs to get on a high tree.  From up there he managed to notice the small aperture.

“I can get there and I will. Don’t try to stop me, we are losing time. When I get there you will attack and try to ruin this shield. Got it?”, the young boy notified the others through his micro earphone, “Let’s have some fun.”, Peter put his mask on and jumped from the tree. He landed just a meter away from the wanted place but as soon as his foots touched the spikes others began appearing. With his fastness he got in the hole seconds before getting seriously injured.

Although he has done it before, this time Peter made his superhero landing on his ass.

“Shit, that hurts.”, he cursed out but as soon as he did he was thrown against the strong wall made from the spikes.

“Tell me who the hell you are or I’ll kill you.”, a sweet, yet dry voice reached his ears. He looked up and saw a girl around his age standing defensive opposite him with a rage written on her face.

“I’m Pet-, shit! No, I’m Spiderman and I-”, but the boy was interrupted by being sent to the ‘wall’ again.

“You are lying! If Hydra is sending you, which I am sure about, you are gonna die in agony. They’ll finally see what I am capable of! That’s what they want, isn’t it?”, the girl screamed and clenched fists. Peter, who was thrown again, managed to see what she was doing and how she was capable of whisking him wherever she wanted. The guy soon realized she was a witch just like Wanda.

“I have no idea what you are talking about. We are here to help you”, as soon as those words were spoken, the girl was ready to make that boy shut up by repeating her previous actions but Peter was faster. He sent webs towards her hands, sticking them on one of the spikes. She tried to escape but with in vain. Peter used this opportunity to scan the girl. She was his height, with a (y/h/t) (y/h/c) hair, (y/e/c) now full with anger. Her clothes were dirty and scattered, her face slightly sunken maybe due to the lack of food.  

Suddenly the whole structure was hit and a part of it ruined down. The girl used this as an opportunity to go away and this time she managed. She began running but the boy shoot web at her and stopped her. The witch fell on the ground and looked at the four people standing meters away.

“I’ll kill you!”, she screamed and sent a stone towards the group. Wanda was the one to create a shield with her magic and protect her friends. The girl’s eyes widen as she saw that somebody had powers just as her.

“Stop attacking us and just listen!”, Wanda spoken calmly.

“We are here to help you, don’t need to be afraid.”, a man with a soft voice gave his hand to help her stand. The girl looked up and was met by a dirty blonde hair and kind blue eyes.

“C-captain America?”

Part 2 

listening to the adventure zone for the first time. I realized at ep. 21 that I wanted to compile some of my favourite qoutes (not just from characters). so here’s that (in no particular order. not even in order of appearance):

  • “abraca-fuck you”
  • “i’m really getting this cleric shit aren’t i”
  • “I’m not a nerd so I don’t know-” “we’re on a D&D PODCAST”
  • “let me tell you the story of the time an orc punched me so hard I almost died”
  • after griffin has been complimented for the quality of the campaign. “let’s wait and see how it ends, though, ‘cause lost seemed pretty good too”
  • “no i’m a flesh boy”
  • “YOU’RE MY FATHER. YOU BIRTHED ME.”
  • “i just don’t understand why me understanding the basic rules of dungeons and dragons is like an unfit way to spend our time”
  • every time taako mocked jenkins not using spell slots
  • “I have a beating heart! i’m- i’m multidimensional! i’m a fully realized creation. Fuck.”
  • let me promise you one thing- are we out of the zone of truth?” “yeah you’re long out of it” “everything’s going to be fine”
  • “my names not jerry its…. jereeeeee”
  • barabra telling taako (as jerry) he’ll walk him to the bathroom
  • “the second ruffian-” “give them names” “c-craig…ory?”
  • “magnus’ quest for vengeance just… ends” “and OURS BEGINS”
  • “there’s no vine you’ll never be able to not fuck”
  • “let’s try that again, and you say yes to my fucking bit”
  • “hot diggity shit, this is a baller cookie”
  • the entire section where they kept talking when mushrooms were giving off spores at the sound of their voices and kept having to roll constitution saving throws.
  • “that is your last thought as a two armed man”
  • everything starting with justin going “i’m going to cast a spell called eldrics black tentacles” and ending with “MY NAMES KRAVITZ”
  • ^side note: kravitz why did you actually give him your name when that was what he was asking
  • kravtiz “what the fuck is wrong with the three of you” when taako eats that crystal piece
  • unrelated to the above event  “oh no it’s a vore thing!”
  • “tell julia i said i love her”
  • “how’s elvis?” “…still alive”
  • “it sounds like you’ve given me an even better lesson- a new mystery to solve!” “oh fuck”
  • “blizzard can you get off my nuts for a second!”
  • “it’s seventh level……necromancy” *slightly distant, loud laughter*
  • “what was the last thing you said?” “i said i love you jules”
  • but it’s not… what julia would want. so i’m gonna have to pass”
  • the entire section where justin is being given the left or right choice and everyone is losing it bc he was literally told earlier in the arc
  • “this figure in the red robe… is you”
  • the entire section of taako convincing garfield to sell the sword to him for a useless item. (especially griffins “oh my god”s when he realizes what’s going on, and a quieter one a few seconds later)
  • “[….] he just looks like a smaller taako” “griffin- a taquito?”
  • “i’m gonna say the pocket workshop can only sustain 2 boys at once though, because i don’t want you to have an infinite bag of boys that you can just put boys inside”
  • “welcome… to the monster factory!” *laughter*
  • “flipping off is a free action”
  • griffin describing taako transforming, before saying “and turns into… a tyrannosaurus rex”
  • “i’ll be having my body back, you undead fuck”
  • “okay… you pee while holding two flame throwers”
  • “listen… light them the fuck up”
  • huh… i feel sad.  and he kills you”
  • “our capacity for love increases with every person we cross paths with throughout our lives and with each moment we spend with those people. ”
  • “it delighted in your company, magnus, and it still does.”
  • “today is going to be one of those memories”
  • “if she were to look under the table, she would see that his legs are visibly trembling in absolute panic”
  • “you are home… here… in cycle 99″
  • “sometimes there aren’t right decisions sometimes there are just… decisions.”
  • “when someone leaves your life, those exits are not made equal” (and on)
  • “this is it…. this is it”
  • .”Those are the arms that have held my wife”
  • “i have nothing, and i don’t give a shit. the world is ending, and i don’t care”
  • “hell yeah, dungeons and dragons is back”
  • “no i’m gonna leave all that in” “no griffin no”
  • “should i talk slower so everyone who’s been complaining about us not playing d&d has time to nut?”
  • “You’re dating the grim reaper?!” 
  • “i’ve got magic powers.” “was that supposed to be some big reveal?” (and on)
  • “it’s upsy… your lifting friend” *laughter*
  • “i’m a wizard, my name is taako, and i’m pretty- well- fucked”
  • “no dogs on the moon”
  • “i’ll take one taco, with extra destiny” *laughter* “yeah, fuck it, i’ll teach taako how to make a taco”
  • “thanks for not ripping my arms off, magnus”
  • “whats up ghost rider”
  • “it says thanks for reuniting it with it’s kids […] and it says, you’re even”
  • the entire section of  “and __ walks over to __” during ep 68
  • “but that stops here”
  • “hear that babe? we’re legends”
  • “and then… you see john smile”
  • “i’m allowed to ask the dm one question, and he has to answer honestly” “alright go” “did you have fun doing the adventure?” “yes” “okay!”
  • “you know the best part of the fantasy costco? free samples”
  • “much like the best science on earth, you’re double blind”
  • “i reach into my fucking bag and grab my immovable rod. i’m not going fucking anywhere”
  • “you hear a voice through this rift say, you’re going to be amazing
  • “and then… light”
  • “Johann was right! We won!”
  • “i know about the silverware”
  • “sorry, so you want to be earl merle?”
  • “not just because you saved the world, but, because i know how hard you’re trying”
  • “we see you one last time, as… magnus rushes in”
  • magnus’ entire speech to carey
  • “that was the world you made, that was the ending you earned”
  • “the story of four idiots who played d&d so hard they made themselves cry”
Warm

Time for some more whump! It’s Day Two- Hypothermia!

Lance and Keith (read: klance) go to an ice planet.

why do i only ever hurt lance


“Figures,” Lance grumbled. “Stereotypical ice planet. Why couldn’t the rebels have lived on, I don’t know, a tropical island? The entire known universe and we can’t stumble across some beach residents in need of rescue?”

“Lance,” Shiro’s disapproving voice sounded over the coms. “The two of them gave me their only ship. Which means we’re helping them. They’re part of a freedom fighter organization, maybe they can help us.”

“Yeah, okay, but why do I have to be the one that gets sent down here? I’m from Cuba! This is way, way below comfortable temperatures for me.”

“Quit whining,” Keith snapped, glaring at Lance over his shoulder. “Our armor’s designed to keep us warm, and this is below comfortable for anyone. And pick up the pace.”

Lance rolled his eyes, but jogged to catch up to him.

“Sorry, Lance, but the red lion is the best at withstanding extreme temperatures. And it’s smaller, and faster than the other lions, so it can better navigate the terrain,” Shiro explained.

“Wish I had help navigating the terrain now,” Lance muttered under his breath. The two of them were currently struggling through over a foot of snow. “And that doesn’t explain why I had to bring Keith with me.”

“Because going on solo missions to unknown locations is how you get killed,” Pidge pointed out. “Star Wars? Hoth? Luke almost getting annihilated by the abominable snowman? Any of that ring a bell?”

“Quiznaking ice planets. Why are we out of the lion anyway, Shiro? Red’s warm. Do you want us to freeze to death and then have to hide inside the body of a space camel?” Lance’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Star Wars, Keith. Remind me to marathon it with you when we get back to Earth. My niece loves those movies, and she’ll eat all the popcorn, but it’s worth it. Trust me.”

“Would you two take this mission seriously?” Shiro asked. Lance could practically see him rubbing his temples exhaustedly. “I know it’s not exactly high-stakes adventure, but these guys saved my life. You’re not going to go prancing around the planet in your lion and accidentally destroy their hideout.”

Prancing? Shiro, I don’t prance, I'm—”

“Lance, look,” Keith interrupted him and pointed out towards a large stretch of ice before them. It would’ve been a lake, had the planet not had such low temperatures. “Pidge, is that the direction we need to go?”

“Yep,” she told them. “The hideout’s not far from the opposite side.”

Keith sighed. “We’ll have to go around.”

“Woah, what? Keith, that lake is huge! It’d be so much easier to walk straight across,” Lance protested. “I’m not about to freeze to death while we take the scenic route.”

“In case you hadn’t noticed, that’s ice, dumbass. If it can’t support our weight and breaks then we really could freeze to death! That water’s gotta be a lot worse than this.”

“I’m not an idiot, Keith, I know that. Pidge, if I send you a scan can you see if it’ll support us?” Lance asked. Pidge made a noise of affirmation, and Lance used his armor’s scanner to send an analysis of the ice to her.

“It looks pretty thick,” she mused. “I wouldn’t jump up and down or start hacking at it with your bayards if I were you, but you’ll be able to walk across.”

See?” Lance smirked at him. “What’d I tell you? It’s fine.”

“Shouldn’t we, I don’t know, check the lake? What if there’s a… space octopus in there, or something? Or a shark? I mean, they wouldn’t normally live in lakes, but this isn’t Earth so who knows? Are space alligators a thing?” Hunk spoke so fast it was almost difficult to understand.

“Hunk, you’re rambling,” Lance observed with a fond smile. “But don’t worry. The top of the lake is frozen, so they wouldn’t be able to breathe, right? Let alone get to us. If it makes you feel better, I’ll do a full scan of the lake.”

“Nope. No animals down there,” Pidge confirmed a few moments later. “Now would you two hurry up and cross?”

“I still have a really bad feeling about this,” Keith mumbled.

Lance turned towards him with a grin. “We are so watching Star Wars together. In fact, we should see if they have it at the space mall. But sorry, Keith, if you want to go the long way, be my guest. I’m not going to wait any longer than I have to.”

“He really is the true pilot of Red,” Pidge sounded as if she was trying to repress a laugh. “Impatient as all hell.”

Hey!” Keith and Lance exclaimed at the same time.

Pidge snorted. “Just get going already.”

Lance wasted no time in starting out across the lake. He was several paces ahead of Keith, who still hesitated to step out onto it. As he was about to continue forward, Keith stopped in his tracks. He could swear he saw something dark moving below the ice, but Pidge had scanned the lake for life, hadn’t she? It must just be his imagination. He started forward again, but just then the ground shook, and the ice in front of Lance exploded.

He let out a strangled yelp, stumbling away from whatever had just burst out of the lake. Keith could hear the frantic voices of the others in his ears, but it all descended into white noise as he saw the vine that had broken through the ice wrap around Lance’s legs.

He rushed forward, but it was already too late. Keith watched as Lance was dragged into the hole made by the creature, and plunged into the freezing lake.


The water was murky, and dark. Lance could barely see, all he knew was that something was dragging him further and further down into the depths. He didn’t have time to activate his helmet properly before water was rushing into his lungs.

He felt the grip of whatever held him tightening on his legs, and though he tried to kick he couldn’t break free.

Lance forced himself not to panic. Panicking wouldn’t help him. So he collected his thoughts, summoned his bayard, and pointed it down. He still couldn’t see anything, but with luck he’d hit the monster, not himself. He moved his finger to the trigger, aimed for what he hoped wasn’t his leg, and fired.

Judging by the shriek of pain and how the hold on him loosened, Lance guessed the laser met its mark. He kicked upwards immediately, swimming quickly to the surface. However, with limited eyesight and dwindling oxygen, his hands met nothing but ice. Panic started to overtake him again as he desperately scrambled to find the hole which he’d fallen into.

Lance was just starting to give up hope completely when suddenly a hand snagged around his wrist and yanked him to the side, and up to the surface.

Lance sucked in a breath, coughing the water out of his lungs as he collapsed onto the ice. His vision was foggy around the edges, but he could see well enough to notice Keith kneeling over him, breathing heavily.

“Are you okay?” he demanded, hands hovering over Lance’s form. “Are you hurt?”

“What—” Lance coughed again. “What was that… that thing?”

“I… I didn’t scan for plants,” Pidge told him apologetically. “In my defense, I had no idea there would be some crazy strong… Venus flytrap-ish monster living here.”

Now will you listen to me when I tell you something’s a bad idea?” Keith asked, sounding way to relieved to actually come off as angry.

Lance gave him a shaky smile. “I c-could ask you the… the same, S-samurai.”. Keith tensed immediately.

“Why’s he talking like that?” he asked. “He’s… breathing weird, too. And shivering. Pidge, what—”

“Keith. Scan. Now.” Pidge’s voice was suddenly alert, and when Keith complied, she cursed. “Hypothermia. I should’ve guessed. Keith, get him back to the castle. He should be fine, but he needs a pod. Allura and I will come back to the planet in Blue later.”

Keith nodded, picking Lance up in his arms as if he weighed nothing at all, before rushing towards Red. “Hang on, Lance. You’re gonna be fine.”

“You.. you were r-right,” Lance admitted around chattering teeth. “That was a… very b-bad idea.” His eyes started to slide shut.

“Wh— no, Lance, you have to stay awake. C'mon, keep your eyes open. We’re almost there.”

“’M sorry, Keith, b-but it’s… it’s freezing, and you’re r-r-really w-warm,” Lance mumbled, closing his eyes and leaning his head on Keith’s shoulder. “I think… I’ll just take a little n-nap.”

“Lance, no, you’ve got to—” Keith started insistently, but Lance had already passed out in his arms.


Lance fell unceremoniously out of the healing pod, but was luckily caught before he collapsed onto the floor. He looked up to meet Keith’s dark eyes, and promptly groaned. “So, I guess we had another bonding moment.”

Keith bristled. “That’s all you have to say? Not ‘thank you for saving my life?’ After your stupid decision-making skills got you put in a pod for the… how many times has it been now?”

Lance ignored him. “Where are the others?”

“None of them wanted to stay overnight, because, again, you’ve been in this pod way too many times,” Keith told him, unsure if he should point out that Lance had made no move to step back, so Keith was still supporting the entirety of his weight.

“And yet you stayed,” Lance grinned. “Guess I should probably start listening to you, huh?”

“Guess so.”

Lance’s smile turned quickly into a smirk. “Well, that’s too bad, since we both know that’s never going to happen.”

Keith scowled, prepared to drop Lance onto the floor. He would have to, if Lance hadn’t leaned forward at that exact moment and kissed him.

It didn’t last long, but Keith was blushing furiously, anyway. It was nice to see that Lance looked a little flustered, too, though.

“Thanks,” Lance said softly. “For saving my life.”

“Um,” Keith started, brain still trying to understand what was going on. “Did you just— you and I— is this— what?”

Lance laughed, finally stepping back from Keith and turning to walk out the door. “I’m going to go get some food goo, if you’d care to join me.”

Keith watched him go, and stammered out a few more incoherent sentences before rushing after him.

Dating Levi Ackerman headcanons. 💓

Originally posted by tatakaeeren

A/N: Do you guys understand how happy this made me? Send help pls

+ He’s an interesting boyfriend to say the very least.
+ You and him are polar opposites. You’re fun, carefree and bubbly then there’s Levi who’s serious, stoic and feared.
+ Besides your beauty, your personality is what really drew him to you. In a way he admired the fact that you could be so positive through everything.
+ It was definitely really hard to get him to open up to you when you two first started dating. In fact, many people had no idea that you were together for the first three months.
+ You started to believe he wasn’t really interested in you.
+ It was until one night you were in his office and he wasn’t paying any attention to you because he was doing work and you just lost it.
+ “Maybe this whole thing was a mistake..”
+ You got up and headed towards the door but Levi stopped you by grabbing your hand. You turned around to look at him and you soon found his lips crashing onto yours. The first kiss you both shared together and it was spectacular.
+ “Don’t be stupid, brat.”
+ “I- Wha- Okay.”
+ Levi is very protective over you.
+ He’s always pushing you past your limit during training because he wants you to be the strongest you that you can be. Mentally and physically.
+ You’re very territorial over your man.
+ He’s Levi fucking Ackerman. So many girls want to get in his pants and it pisses you off to no end.
+ “What’s your problem, brat?”
+ “She has looked over here at you way too many times in my book and if she keeps staring at you- I don’t know what I’m gonna do but I’m gonna do it!”
+ Levi low key thinks your the most adorable thing when you’re mad because you go off on these ramblings and you get all pouty. You think you’re trying to be intimidating but it’s actually the opposite.
+ PDA isn’t Levi’s thing but it’s definitely yours.
+ You like to randomly walk up to him and peck him on the lips then skip away innocently.
+ He always bitches at you about it but yet he always kisses you back when you do it.
+ You feed him because sometimes he forgets to eat.
+ You’re the only one who can make his tea.
+ His sleeping schedule is so shitty.
+ You literally have to drag him to bed away from his desk.
+ He likes to sleep on top of you listening to your heartbeat while you cradle his head.
+ He hates rainy days. Those are the only times where he doesn’t work. He locks himself in his room.
+ “Levi? Open up… I’m worried..”
+ You understand why but he has yet to open up about their deaths to you. You’re not upset with him though, when he’s ready, you’re ready.
+ Slapping his booty when he walks by.
+ “Did- did you just slap my ass?”
+ “Yes, I did. You could bounce a dime off that thing.”
+ also, BOOTY DRUMS. You always tap on his butt to a random tune because you say its good luck.
+ “Why the hell are you harassing my ass?”
+ “Oh Levi, its for good luck!”
+ Every time the corps goes on an expedition Levi gets anxious for your well being. He has an eye on you the whole time.
+ Everyone ships you two so fucking hard.

Game | Harry Hook x Reader

Originally posted by ehdsisjado

Summary: It was a game between you and Harry. See who could make the other break first. And you were determined to win.

Warnings: Smutty goodness

Author’s Note: This is my first attempt at smut so let me know if you like it!


You pushed Harry up against the alley wall, nipping at his bottom lip as his hands trailed up and down your back. Just when he started to reach for the button on your pants, you pulled away from him, smirking when his hands tried to follow you.

“Sounds like Uma’s calling me. Better run.” You gave him a sarcastic pout and turned to walk away. He grabbed your hand, spinning you back around to face him. “Sweetheart, you can’t leave me like this again.” He gritted out. You looked him up and down, feeling a sense of pride when you saw the tent in his pants.

“Sweetheart, I can and I will.” You mocked, pulling your arm away from him and hurrying back to the Lost Revenge, laughing as you heard Harry swearing at you. 


Uma had you and Harry together training some new recruits. The sun was blistering hot overhead and Harry was training some new girl who wasn’t even paying attention to what he was saying but to his abs instead. It pissed you off. Oh well, she’ll wish she had paid attention when she ‘accidentally’ gets stabbed.

Angrily, you turned your attention back to the guy you were training. “If your opponent strikes first, turn the sword to catch theirs and while they’re pulling their sword back, you can apply a swift kick to either their shin or groin.” You kicked out for emphasis. “But if you strike first, be sure to-” 

“Hey!” You heard Harry bark, stomping his way over to you two. You took a step backwards when Harry grabbed your recruit’s collar, practically holding him in the air. “If you wanna be part of the crew, I would recommend actually listening instead of staring at my (Y/N)’s ass.” Harry growled. 

“Got it?” Harry questioned. Once he deemed the guy was sorry enough, Harry promptly dropped him and grabbed your wrist. “Everybody pair up and duel it out. We’ll be back.” Harry announced, hurriedly pulling you below deck. You grinned victoriously. It wasn’t often you got Harry this riled up.

You nearly stumbled as Harry pushed you into the broom closet, slamming the door behind you. Immediately, he pushed you up against the wall, nipping at your neck, his hands on your shoulders. You grasped at his wrists, already panting.

“You remember earlier? When you just pranced away, laughing?” Harry sucked even harder on your neck. You tried to hold back your moans and whimpers. It would be bad if Uma found out her first mate and loyal crew member left in the middle of training to go fuck in a closet.

“Leaving me worked up in the alley way.” Harry continued, starting to make another hickey on the base of your neck. “You’re gonna regret it.” Harry growled. You screamed as Harry bit down on your neck. So much for being quiet.

“I’m gonna make you scream my name.” Harry grinned maniacally and used his hook, ripping your shirt from your frame. “Then what are you waiting for?” You murmured with a sly smile. His eyes darkened, his grin replaced by a look of pure determination. It excited you.

“If you like those clothes, I recommend you get them off. Now.” Harry growled, undoing his belt. You gulped slightly nervous at his rough voice. You quickly shimmied out of your jeans and tugged your panties down as well. You unclasped your bra and let it fall to the floor.

You looked up at Harry suddenly feeling like a mouse in a box with a cat. He stared at you hungrily. “Come and get it, big boy.” You taunted. Before you could close your mouth, Harry was on top of you, kissing you hard, sliding his hands down to your butt. You wrapped your arms around his neck.

Harry ran his tongue across your bottom lip, demanding entrance which you refused to give him. Suddenly, his hands dipped down low and grabbed your butt hard. You let out a small squeak and his tongue dived into your mouth, quickly finding yours. You rubbed your thighs together to get more friction, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Harry.

“Jump.” Harry mumbled against your lips. You lifted one leg and hooked it around Harry’s waist and jumped. You hooked your other leg around him as he gripped your thighs, holding you up.

You set to work on leaving a hickey on his neck while one of his hands made its way down to your slit. You let out a loud moan as he rubbed his thumb over your clit, simultaneously sticking two fingers inside of you.

“Goddammit, Harry! Pick up the pace!” You hissed, getting frustrated. “Trust me, darlin’. You’ll be begging me to slow down in a minute.” He promised, removing his fingers and replacing it with the head of his cock.

Your head fell limp against his shoulder as he pushed in. You let out a groan as Harry bottomed out, his pubes brushing against your clip. You gripped at his biceps. He was physically shaking as he waited for you to adjust.

Your gazes met, his eyes with love and lust. “Go.” You ordered. Harry smirked, pulling out and stopping, just his tip inside of you. “Harry, I swear to God-” You let out a small scream as Harry thrust inside of you again, your threat falling flat.

It had been way too long since you had gotten to do this. You let out a groan as Harry began kneading your left breast, attaching his mouth to your right. You tangled your hands in his hair, tugging lightly. The knot in your gut started tightening. 

“Harry…“ You whimpered. “I’m-” “I know.” He nodded. His thrusts became less controlled. He stuck his hand in between your legs again, rubbing at your clit. You jerked and spasmed, getting so close… Harry stopped.

“Please!” You whined, trying to rub yourself against his fingers. “Who do you belong to?” Harry murmured in your ear. “You!” You screamed as Harry started moving his fingers even faster. 

“Harry!” You yelled, the knot in your gut snapping. You threw your head back, panting as Harry pulled out. “Ah, (Y/N)!” Harry yelled. You flinched slightly as Harry released himself on your stomach. You put your hands on Harry’s shoulders, massaging them lightly as Harry loosened his grip on your thighs. Damn you were gonna be sore in the morning.

Harry carefully set you down and handed you a rag to clean yourself. You finished and tossed the rag on the ground. You stood on your tiptoes, pressing your lips to his. “Love you.” You mumbled against his lips. “I know.” 

It was quiet as you both gathered your clothes. You held up your ripped shirt. “What am I supposed to do about this?” You questioned. “That sounds like a you problem.” Harry smirked.

“Ok then.” You shrugged. “I’ll just go back up in just my bra, so everybody can stare…” You trailed off, smirking as Harry’s jaw tightened. “Hold still.” Harry ordered, walking out of the closet.

After a minute or two, Harry popped his head in the door. “Here.” Harry tossed you his white tank top he as wearing before you started training. You quickly pulled it on over your head and met Harry out in the hallway.

“I think we can both agree. I made you break this time.” You grinned gleefully. Harry scoffed. “Please. I had you screaming for me. Please, Harry. Please.” Harry mocked. “Shut up!” You pushed him gently, laughing. “You didn’t win.” He declared, crossing his arms.

“You brought this upon yourself then.” You said with an innocent smile. “Wha-” You cut him off by pushing him up against the wall, lips brushing up against his. “Don’t start anything you can’t finish.” You pulled away, making Harry growl in frustration.

“Don’t hate the player, hate the game!” You called over your shoulder with a smug smirk. “Fuck you!” Harry groaned. “That’s your job!”

splinter (m)

» pairing: jungkook x reader

» genre: angst, non-explicit smut / college au

» word count: 6,518

» description: Perhaps in their last moments together, the pieces won’t seem so broken. That maybe even with their jaded hearts they can salvage some replica of what it all once was. 

» note: there are mentions of cheating in this story

People love to talk about the ‘what ifs.’

What if they had just kept going, what if they had chosen a different path, what if things had just gone the way they had so desperately wanted them to? Humans torture themselves with these thoughts, all while urgently grappling at the threads of their memories that led to the fork in the road where things went awry. They ponder them tirelessly, wondering if they could’ve done something different, only to realize in the end that it didn’t matter because what was done was done. It was that simple, yet again, people still loved to talk, ponder, and torture themselves with the possibility of what if — However, in your personal experience, there was something much worse.

There was a sub-group of sorts to the what-ifs, called the ‘almosts.’ Almosts are burning flames of misery because they tease you by getting so heartbreakingly close to what you wanted. They were in your reach, resting on the tip of your tongue, only to dissipate before you could swallow it down and make it yours.

So yeah, you weren’t a fan of the-almosts. But what you were even less keen on was being in the same room as your almost, the thread of memories making the air thick as it wrapped its way around your throat.

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Jealousy pt.1

Originally posted by nnochu

•Bad language
•Reader x Jungkook
•Filthy, filthy smut
•Took me ages writing this
•Daddy kink
•I’m going to hell for this
•Dirty talk
•Rough, against the wall sex

Don’t take the comments seriously, its just a joke, I don’t wish to purposely insult bts

Summary: Taehyung is jealous of your relationship with Jungkook, Kook reminds you who you really belong too

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“Steve in CA:CW only thinks about Bucky!” / “Steve broke up the Avengers for Bucky!” 

I can’t count the number of times I have seen these phrases or variants thereof uttered in fandom, and it’s starting to make me a little bit bananas. So I’m gonna break down the issues with this line of thinking. 

First off, it isn’t true at all. Yes, Steve has a strong emotional response to issues involving Bucky, and yes, Bucky is a key piece on the chessboard in CA:CW. Decisions are made regarding him that impact the eventual split of the Avengers. But ultimately, Steve’s choices in the movie are rational and based on Steve’s ethics, Steve’s unwillingness to allow pointless death, and Steve’s mistrust of institutions after having been burned twice. All else being equal, and Bucky not being a factor, it is hard to imagine Steve making wholly different choices.

Steve goes after Bucky when he’s accused of bombing the UN, but does so to bring him in, and because there is a kill order on Bucky. Bucky is a goddamn living weapon, and will not go quietly into that good night; Steve has no way of knowing at that point if Bucky will use lethal force or not against those trying to apprehend him, and so goes after him because Steve has a better chance than anyone else of bringing him in without loss of life. Steve going after Bucky alone is a course of action he feels compelled to take not only to save Bucky’s life, but the lives of everyone else involved, at risk to his own. Steve is very explicit about this in his conversation with Natasha ( “If he’s this far gone, then… I should be the one to bring him in.” “Why?” “Because I’m the one least likely to die trying”). At this point, no other Avengers are involved; this is Steve’s choice and Steve’s action, and not a determining factor on the fate of the team. 

While Bucky’s lack of due process is pretty clearly upsetting to Steve, he is still willing to consider the Accords even after that whole incident, and even with his skepticism about the Accords’ definition of accountability. He doesn’t wholly back out until he finds out Wanda is being kept under house arrest without her knowledge and without any justification beyond her perceived ‘dangerousness’ (keep in mind, the incident in Lagos is because Crossbones set off a bomb; more people would have died without Wanda’s intervention. The hate toward her in-universe is a result of media spin and fear of powered people, because her powers weren’t enough to save everyone. It’s worth wondering: had it been one of Tony’s automated suits that didn’t get the bomb clear in time, would we be seeing the same furor?). This is understandably upsetting to a guy who lived through a period of seeing people interned and worse based on public fear of certain minorities, and has seen how it can escalate into absolute horror; while Wanda’s imprisonment is cushy, as Tony points out, it sets a profoundly disturbing precedent. 

When Steve and Team Cap face off against Team Iron Man at the airport, it’s because they need to get to Siberia – not because Steve just wants to run off with Bucky. Steve attempts to explain the situation (“…And there are 5 more super soldiers just like him. I can’t let the doctor find them first, Tony. I can't”), and Tony makes it clear he has no intention of listening at that point (“All right, I’ve run out of patience. Underoos!”).  Steve is left with no choice but to fight his way out to stop what Zemo’s trail has led them to believe is an incredibly serious and imminent threat to global safety, which Tony is unwilling to listen to, and which Ross is later unwilling to take seriously.  

The film’s initial marketing (and hyper-focus on the eyeroll-worthy “he’s my friend”/”so was I” exchange) plus the lens of Stucky shipping have actually done us a disservice, I think, by characterizing Steve as someone who makes all his choices around Bucky. But even with Bucky not being a factor, I honestly don’t think we’d see Steve make different choices when forced into this same situation and provided with the same intel. With the threat of brainwashed super soldiers being unleashed and no time to wait for the UN to get its ass in gear – and that only happening IF Ross could be convinced to listen – he would probably still head to Siberia to try to stop it himself should no one else listen and be willing to act. If Wanda was being imprisoned and a precedent set for interning enhanced people who didn’t sign the Accords, I think he’d still be opposed to signing. Even before Bucky is ever a factor, Steve has legitimate concerns about the Accords – Accountable to whom? What’s the process? What happens to people who don’t sign? What guarantee do they have that the Avengers won’t be used for national agendas?

Maybe Tony would have been more willing to listen to Steve if Bucky weren’t involved. But Steve is actually responding pretty rationally throughout, and being honest with himself about what he thinks he can and can’t promise in good faith.

Tony, on the other hand, is painted by many fans as someone who is making choices from a rational, reasonable place, but if we look at what is said and done canonically… the opposite appears to be true?

While unquestionably an intellectually brilliant man, Tony is pretty consistently characterized as someone who reacts from a place of emotion and impulse rather than from a place of detached intellectual analysis. It’s part of what makes him an interesting character, and makes him diverge from the ‘aloof genius’ archetype we see with Reed Richards and a number of other super-geniuses of the Marvel universe. He makes a lot of choices – good and bad – based on strong feelings and gut reactions rather than thinking things through. Sometimes this means throwing caution to the winds and setting a whole new ethical course for his company. And sometimes this means accidentally inventing a murderbot. 

Tony straight up tells Steve that he wants to sign the Accords to get Pepper back while still doing his Iron Man shtick ( “I never stopped. Cause the truth is I don’t wanna stop. I don’t want to lose her. I thought maybe the Accords can split the difference.”) And he only gets involved with the Accords after being made to feel guilty when ambushed by Miriam. Tony’s support of the Accords stems from his personal guilt, and personal motivations to get Pepper back more than any consideration of longterm, far-reaching effects. We can see the lack of thought he’s put into this when Tony himself later goes completely rogue and ignores Ross (to whom he’s supposed to answer under the Accords), defying the very policies he’s been pushing because they become inconvenient in a way he didn’t anticipate. We also see it when he admits he didn’t know the rogue Avengers would be thrown into the RAFT, implying he didn’t investigate the ramifications of the Accords fully. The timeframe of the Accords is rushed, with the Avengers given an ultimatum on an absurd deadline, and Tony’s eagerness to soothe his guilt and repair his relationship drives him to help force them into that scenario – where a schism is more or less an inevitability. 

And contrary to the narrative that the marketing team seemed to push and that a lot of fans on both sides cling to, it isn’t Steve’s reaction in this conflict that comes from a place of emotional impulsivity due to Bucky. 

In fact, the most visceral, emotional, irrational decision made in regards to Bucky in the course of the movie? Is made by Tony

Now, I can’t honestly blame him for wanting to kill Bucky after seeing the footage of Howard and Maria’s deaths – I would straight up murder anyone who laid a finger on my mom, no matter the situation, so I have a LOT of sympathy. But while it’s understandable, it is not excusable. Bucky did not have any agency as the Winter Soldier. He was a brainwashed torture victim with no free will; the culpability for Howard and Maria’s deaths lies on the HYDRA handler who sent the Winter Soldier after them. And Tony knows this. But he responds from a place of pain and emotion and tries to kill Bucky anyway – because he’s hurting and wants to make someone else hurt too, and also, according to the Russoes’ commentary, to hurt Steve. 

And it’s that final violence, with Bucky and Steve forced to fight Tony for Bucky’s life, that drives the ultimate wedge in the Avengers. Tony had seen the flaws in the Accords and been willing to defy Ross; Steve finally had the opportunity to explain the threats he was dealing with and have Tony listen; they were ready to confront Zemo together. Up to that point, reconciliation and reunification of the Avengers had been a very tangible, present possibility. But once again, Tony backs Steve into a corner with an ultimatum: before, it was his ethics or his legal standing. Now, it’s Tony’s friendship, or Bucky’s life. And because Steve is obviously not willing to let Tony straight-up murder Bucky to satisfy his vengeance, that reconciliation is taken off the table.

So yes, the Avengers are ultimately still broken up at the end of CA:CW because of an irrational decision made about Bucky.

But it’s not made by Steve. 

Imagine Kingsman’s Enemies Break Into Yours and Eggsy’s House

A/N: More Eggsy because I would die for this egg srsly. Also, this is violent and swear a lot so you have been warned! Enjoy :P also - send in a request if you want, I’ll write anything tbh (as long as it’s Kingsman - doesn’t have to be Eggsy!)

“Hey, babe. You alright?”

“I’m good. What time are you getting home?” You replied, 

“‘Bout thirty minutes. I’ll bring take out?”

Now he was speaking your language. 

“Mhm, hell yes Unwin. Knew there was a reason I kept you around,” You heard Eggsy’s mock gasp down the phone, then a laugh. 

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Angel in the Darkness (M) pt.3

Originally posted by aestheticvbts

Summary: After a patient urgently pleads you to go and help a friend of his, you naively agree to it. Little did you know, that you would get more than what you agreed to, when he leads you to a brothel, to help a dangerous prostitute named Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (ft. Jin, but not romantically)

Genre: Smut (M), angst, mafia!au, prostitution!au

Word Count: 5,997

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4



I can’t believe I’m doing this again, you think to yourself. You close your eyes, and listen to the engine of the crowded bus, as you were currently on your way to pay mister ‘Kookie’ a visit. You start to slowly replay the scenes of Jin yelling at you, to desperately go back and meet the prostitute…

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