THE WEDDING SINGER SENTENCE STARTERS
- I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad
All I wanna do is grow old with you.
I’m sorry… I just couldn’t do it.
- Well, if you need more time, I guess I could wait.
No… I don’t need more time, _____. I don’t ever want to marry you.
Gee, you know that information… really would’ve been more useful to me *yesterday.*
I’ve still got the Spandex; I’ll put ‘em on right now.
- Once again, things that could’ve been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!
But it all was bullshit.
It was a goddamn joke
All right, remember - alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you!
Hey, buddy, I’m not paying you to hear your thoughts on life. I’m paying you to sing.
- Well, I have a microphone, and you don’t, SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD I HAVE TO SAY!
- He’s losing his mind.
- Oh, I don’t think anybody could puke more than than kid. I think I saw a boot come out of him.
- You hit two cones back there. Those could have been people… they could have been guests at her wedding!
- Hey, psycho - we’re not gonna discuss this, OK, it’s over. Please get out of my ____ t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up.
- Oh, man, I heard what happened to you at your wedding, that was so cold! You must’ve felt like shit!
- No, sir, I have no experience but I’m a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I’d like to put more in that jar. That’s where you come in.
- That’s not nice… Very creative, though.
No. Your penis is too small.
- Sir, one more outburst, I will strangle you with my microphone wire. You understand me.
- Excuse me! Just because he’s going out with me doesn’t mean he’s going to get laid.
- If you find somebody you can love, you can’t let that get away.
- What I’m saying is all I really want is someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be all right.
- Hang on, hon! I’m watching Dallas! I think J.R. might be dead or something - they shot him!
- I don’t know, man. I would lose that glove. You look nuts.
- This is a great idea. I’m glad you came around. You want to do some gambling and have some fun right away, or you just want to get married?
- Hey. I kissed her, but it didn’t mean anything, I just brought her the jacket.
- We’re living in a material world and I am a material girl… or boy.
How about this? You talk about her ass again, I’ll break your neck.
I don’t. I think she’s a beautiful girl, but she’s about to marry that jerk-off.
Listen, I know you’re shy and I know you’ve been hurt, so I’m going to make this really easy on you. If you come upstairs, you’re gonna get laid.
- Oh man. You know what sucks though? Once you get married, the party’s over, right?