I went to Target with my sister to help her find a nice printer. We couldn’t find where the printers were so my sister asked a worker for help. She said “Hold on let me get you someone who works in electronics.” and she reached for her walkie talkie and said “Noah, Noah. You’re needed at electronics.” So I lean over to my sister and casually go “hey don’t worry she noah guy” barely able to contain my own laughter. It took my sister a second to realize what I said and when it registered she just laughed uncontrollably, making me pretty proud of my really really bad pun.
So anyways…. I was retelling this story while I was driving to school with my friend. Once I finally finish the story I am laughing so hard at my own joke, tears are streaming down my face. It’s like fucking Niagara Falls. Mind you my friend is completely emotionless, her face is dead pan as I’m screeching with laughter at probably the shittiest pun ever told. I’m laughing so hard that I don’t see this sharp turn and I hit the curb really hard, completely fucking up my tire. I look like a deer in headlights, pure shock on my face. I look over at my friend and now she’s the one laughing uncontrollably and she goes “Now that shit was funny.” I had to call my step-mom to bring a spare and I changed my tire in the middle of the school parking lot. She asked me how I fucked up my tire and I told her I was laughing too hard at my joke. She told me to tell her the joke and I did, I couldn’t help but let out a few giggles toward the end. I’ve never seen someone look at me with such a dumbfounded expression, she looked at me like I had a damn penis growing out of my forehead. After about five minutes of excruciating silence she smacks me hard upside the head and goes “That shit wasn’t funny. And you’re an idiot.” Then without another word got into her car and drove away. Safe to say comedy isn’t a strong suit for me, and neither is driving.
I shared some of the best and worst moments of my life with you. However, I’m afraid that we’ve really reached the end. I’ve found someone who loves me with everything I have and nothing at all and you’ve been running around this town with a girl who makes you forget that I live and breathe in the same world as you. I just want you to know that it was nice while it lasted. I enjoyed losing sleep and trying to so hard not laugh so my mother wouldn’t hear me through my bedroom walls. I’ll remember the way you allowed me to put my hands on the places you were hurting and how I trusted you enough to see me angry and sad and resentful most of all. I’ll never forget the first time you kissed me in the rain or the way nothing else seemed to matter with you. What I’m trying to say is that we grew together. In love and out of love. So thank you for walking through hell and back with me. Thank you for holding my hand when I needed it the most and for loving me in the only way you knew how. It was childish, but it was worth something and I will carry the memory of it somewhere on the inside. Although it’s over now in a way it won’t ever be. Anyhow, I wish you all the happiness in the world and so much love that your hands don’t know what to do with it.
i like to think that one time, the fake ah crew is mid bank robbery, and a cop bursts through the door and immediately starts shouting at ryan to drop his weapon. and ryan sort of glances at the gun he’s pointing at a bank teller and turns to the cop and very earnestly says, “no, no, it’s fine, i have a carry licence.”
and it throws the cop off so bad it gives the crew just enough time to haul ass out of there while geoff laughs so hard he cries.
(”why the fuck do you have a carry licence?” michael asks later.
“are you kidding?” ryan says, all wide-eyed, contrived innocence. “i don’t want to get arrested.”)
For Science Jawn - You Asked For It, You Got It, Shot by Shot
Just want to start off with I listened to the Wedding episode of Three Patch while I was at physical therapy, and I laughed so hard when Dixiebell said she didn’t see the Johnlock I almost fell off the treadmill. Here you go, Dixiebell. Let me polish those Johnlock goggles right up.
I’ll get to the other drunk scenes later, if there’s anything I want to say about them. This is the big one for me though.
I don’t want to make these meta posts all about me, but I think I want to preface this by saying: I analyze, and create, body language for a living. I have years of experience posing people to look natural, happy, relaxed, in love. Quite often this is done on a micro level, by little tweaks, bending an elbow, relaxing a shoulder, leaning a head in. These are things I do. Try to get a very uncomfortable bride and groom to look relaxed and in love when they’re nervous out of their minds and just want to get to the drinking part of the day, that is something I do a lot. Create frames that make people look closer together when they’re not, I do that constantly.
I lost it in this scene because I finally, finally got the sense that the writers were going to actually go for it. Actually go for the gay. Not in a queerbaiting way. Not this season, maybe not even next season (whenever the hell that is going to be), but at some point. This scene is a hell of a commitment to make if they’re sitting on the fence. I got that on the first viewing, and then even I was still amazed at how blatant it is when I sat down to analyze it.
Getting drunk doesn’t make you gay (duh). It does, however, lower your inhibitions. John purposefully got more drunk than Sherlock wanted him to be–two shots at the bar (“one more, he mustn’t see,” and then maybe that third one he loses track of, but as far as I can tell that extra shot goes to Sherlock because John picks up that glass with his left hand and then hands that drink to Sherlock). When they move upstairs after Hudders wakes them up, they are both still drinking (I missed that the first time). John, at least, and probably Sherlock too, wanted to lose some of his constant control. And what happens?
Close-up shots of Sherlock and Jawn.
There is a basic rule of framing in visual art (I came to this rule from my experience in graphic design, but it applies to photography and cinematography too). You generally put the larger amount of negative space in front of the subject, towards where they are looking. So, basically, these two frames are framed “wrong.” The effect: their faces look closer together. (This was done in ASIB too, but I’m not going to go back and look for it.)
Now we have a little dance where they keep leaning towards each other. ALL I’M DOING HERE IS DESCRIBING THE ACTION.
When John leans back, Sherlock leans forward. (This is seen easier on video, I ALMOST figured out how to trim in QuickPlayer):
(How’s about John’s legs being all wide-open too…) More close faces via reverse shots.
Just in case you missed it the first time (this is easier to see on video too, sorry), Sherlock leans back,
and John, well,
John basically falls in between Sherlock’s legs (and there’s a little musical twinkle there):
John:“I don’t mind. Am I a woman?”
“Am I pretty?” conversation.
Faces closer in close-ups, right on the edge of the frame, literally as close as they can get in this type of shot:
Just to make that really clear
They’re so close now they’re sharing the frame in the over the shoulder shot (OSS). They weren’t before. Look at that tiny sliver of negative space between them. Look at allllll that room Sherlock could be sitting in on the right.
Now they are both sitting up, mirroring each other’s poses, in the middle of the screen.
Both literally on the edges of their chairs.
John invades Sherlock’s shots.
John falls back. Sherlock falls back (we don’t see him do it, but the next shot after a couple close-ups he is already back in his chair, mirroring John’s pose)
but this is too far away for John, who immediately puts his feet up
“I’m you, aren’t I.” They’re practically horizontal and overlapping.
Ding dong. Client time. DAMMIT. Hello near-kiss with Moriarty moment…
Lea:If I had to kiss you right now, I most certainly could not
Lea:I don't think I could. I really think I would laugh too hard. Whereas we used to make the hell out.
Jon:Especially onstage. There was that one time - well, maybe I shouldn't talk about that while we're eating.
Lea:You were sick!
Jon:Yes. During the hayloft scene, where we always open-mouth kissed. I had the stomach flu and I was going to vomit in your mouth. You opened your mouth and I was like "Nuh-uh"
Lea:And at intermission you were vomiting so hard! I was laughing hysterically.
Jon:It wasn't funny! I was in so much pain. Ugh.
Lea:Remember the night we hid from security and slept in the scary-ass Eugene O'Neill Theatre with John Gallagher Jr.?! Oh, God, we had the best time. We sat on the stage with a bottle of wine and prayed to the theater gods for blessing us with such success. We pricked our fingers - I still have a black dot on my finger from that, by the way. We put a little blood on a paper and framed it. Christine Jones [the scenic designer] took that piece of paper and built it into the set that goes around with all the Spring Awakening touring productions.
Jon:When we carved our names in the theater, you said something so sweet. I still remember it because it meant so much to me.
Lea:Are you going to cry?!
Jon:A little bit.
Lea:What's wrong with you? Get it together!
Jon:You said "I would give up this entire experience for our relationship,"
Lea:It's so true. At the end of the day I would most certainly give up Spring Awakening, which was the greatest experience of my life, to have met you. In this lifetime, if there is anything you need, it's a best friend. It's so crazy to talk about Spring Awakening because I feel like we've lived ten lifetimes since then. I was the one always saying to you "I'll never get that part. No one will ever hire me." The biggest limits are the ones you make for yourself. You believed in me a lot.
I’ve fallen in love with the girl who never let’s me fall asleep feeling unwanted or unloved.
I’ve fallen in love with the girl who dreams about a life with me, who dreams about everything from dancing around the kitchen while baking together to cuddling up under blankets with me at night and watching movies until we fall asleep.
I’ve fallen in love with the girl who see galaxies in my eyes and hears melodies in every sound I make, even the unattractive ones.
I’ve fallen in love with the girl who knows exactly how to make me smile so wide and laugh so hard, until I can’t breathe on both the easy days and the hard ones.
But most importantly, I’ve fallen in love with the girl that will always be here, right beside me, whether I’m right or wrong. I love this girl, who will never take me for granted and never leave me behind. I’m in love with the girl who’s seen me at my worst and still loves me just the same.
I’m in love with the girl of my dreams, and I can honestly say that I wouldn’t want it any other way.