i was laughing so hard help me

4

Posting that picture of me as a fat geek had a positive effect on me. There were years when I couldn’t look at pictures from my youth. I just hated myself so much, thought I was so goddamn hideous and weak.

Which is so awful…Because when I see chubby little girls now, they melt my heart.

I had to make that picture public and look at it every time I opened Tumblr. My Tumblr friends helped me to laugh at it, see the genuine delight a big-haired fat chick (/a fat-haired big chick) from the 1980s could inspire.

Gradually my heart softened toward that little fatty. I forgave her for being such a societal reject. I forgave her for doing everything wrong.

And now I want to do the same for my 47 year old face. Because it’s hard, looking in the mirror and realizing that your smooth, taut, glowing skin is gone, that you frittered it away, berating yourself for being fat, inadepquate slob the whole time. (Old habits…)

If I can just believe that I am beautiful – real beauty, not the supermodel kind – Oh, man. It would be the first time, ever, I’d manage to do it in real time..

I want to love these sags and wrinkles. I want to radiate self-acceptance and wisdom and comforting, old Victorian house vibes.

  • me: hey you wanna hear some desi puns in urdu/punjabi?
  • friend: no but ok
  • me: if you're on a bus and you've had enough do you say "bas"?
  • friend: ...
  • me: if you're in a car and you've had enough, do you say "bas kar"?
  • friend: ....??!?!?!?
  • me: if you're on a boat and you've had enough, do you say "boht ho gaya"?
  • friend: get out

John makes his way up the stairs with their takeaway, and pauses on the top step as he hears a faint cry. He half winces, half smiles. Perhaps Rosie getting used to her earlier bed-time right away was a bit ambitious.

He hears Sherlock’s voice from the hall- tutting, actually tutting, and so John hovers between the step and the doorway, unseen.

Sherlock comes into view, gently bouncing Rosie up and down in his arms. “Now, you’re not meant to be awake, I hope you know that,” and his voice is so soft that John’s breath catches in his throat. Sherlock should have spotted him hiding by now, but he is enraptured by Rosie. 

She wails loudly and Sherlock doesn’t even flinch. In fact, he laughs. “Yes, sorry, you’re stuck with me,” he says. “I would sing if it’d help, but that’s your Dad’s forté.”

John looks up, and blinks hard.

“Come on,” Sherlock murmurs. He’s rocking her, now, swaying her back into sleep. “Come on, darling. I know, let’s have a look out here, you’d like that, hmm?”

With one hand, Sherlock reaches across and opens the curtains a little. Rosie peers out- intrigued, but glazing over slightly as she drifts off. 

“You’re going to have so much fun,” Sherlock whispers. His head has bent down, his lips just brushing the top of her head. “Just look at that, Rosie. Billions of people in the world, all of them connected in some way, and they don’t even know it yet, some of them.” She sighs deeply, sleepily. “That’s it, sssh. You don’t know it yet, but you’re going to have the best adventure, I just know it.”

Her eyes are completely closed now, and Sherlock gradually slows his rocking. “But the best part is coming home,” he finishes, and he says with reverence, like it’s the most precious secret in the world.

John steps back to compose himself. When he goes through the doorway, Sherlock is off putting Rosie back into bed. He sets up the cutlery, the wine glasses, the containers of prawn crackers, and fortune cookies, and everything in between. 

He raises his head as he hears Sherlock’s quiet footsteps coming closer. “She’s not, you know that?”

Sherlock pours their wine, John’s glass first, then his own. “I’m sorry?”

“She’s not ‘stuck with you’,” John replies. 

Sherlock’s cheeks turn pink. “I- well-”

“She’s not,” John insists. He hands Sherlock his wine glass and taps it against his own. “We’re her family,” he says. He says it, bold and firm and clear as crystal.

Sherlock sets down the wine glass, and kisses him with the biggest grin on his face John has seen. They both pretend, for now, that it’s not a teary one.

So let me tell you about this guy I know, he is so perfect in every way humanly possible. Not only in physical form but his heart is so beautiful, so delicate, so pure and so big.

He makes the simplest of things seem interesting, the most plain things appear beautiful. He makes me smile and laugh so hard my own stomach can’t contain it.

He makes me feel so special not because he makes me feel wanted but he makes me feel needed. He makes me feel like as if i’m an irreplaceable woman. He has restored hope and kindness into my heart.

He is the type of guy you meet and hope for your dear life you won’t ever lose him. He is the sunrise in the morning, the breath of fresh air and the calm after the storm.

He is the prince every girl dreams about, he is magnetic I just can’t help but find myself attached to him. He is like an addiction I can’t seem to get enough of and only crave more of him.

He is not only my lover, he is my bestfriend, my soulmate, my future, the one I want to buy a house with, raise a family with, build an empire with.

He is love, he is hope
Without him, i simply,
Would not cope.

I love him.

—  Tenari Ioapo // Happy Valentine’s Day my love.
smh characters as things i've done
  • jack: hit on a boy by asking him to help me stretch before exercising; made sure to stretch so as to show off my ass
  • bitty: baked six dozen cookies, four pies, and three pans of brownies for a church potluck w my grandma, all the while talking shit abt the people we would see there
  • shits: caused a scene at thanksgiving with my dad’s family by showing up with dyed hair and pierced ears; walked (was escorted) into a different room while shouting abt gender identity & expression
  • ransom: laughed so hard at my chem teacher’s bad chemistry pun that i almost had a panic attack
  • holster: belted “don’t rain on my parade” at three in the morning while drunk off my ass walking thru town w my friends
  • lardo: walked into my first party at a new school (the only out queer kid, small, effeminate, part asian), chugged half a bottle of fireball, took three shots, grabbed a beer, and said, “‘sup, boys?”
  • dex: hit my best friend (whom i had a crush on) in the arm with a baseball bat because he wouldn’t stop telling me to calm down, then punched him in the other shoulder when he said it again
  • nursey: said, “i’ll have you know i’m very graceful” before tripping on nothing, skinning both of my knees, & running into a wall
  • chowder: casually dropping into the splits in the middle of conversations; constantly showing ppl that i can put my legs behind my head
  • tango: stayed up for the first three days straight of one of my summer vacations reading wikipedia articles
  • whiskey: showed up to a frat party specifically to hit on athletes & mooch booze
  • ollie & wicks: dated the boy who had the locker next to mine for five years (& we’re still together)
  • alicia (bonus): showed up to a photoshoot 15 minutes late in three-day-old sweatpants w spiked starbucks

Hi my name is Robbie Rotten and I have rotten teeth (that’s how I got my name) with a purple suit with red stripes that reaches my midsection and grassy green eyes like grass and a lot of people tell me I look like Ted Cruz (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Rachel Rotten but I wish I was because she’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a loner, and I go behind a billboard in Lazytown where I’ve lived for a long time (I’m old). I’m a gay (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly purple. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a purple suit with matching cufflinks around my wrists ,  and black spat boots. I was wearing black eyebrow makeup , white foundation, black eyeliner and purple eye shadow. I was walking outside the playground. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of kids stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“He promised me forever,” I told her.

“And you fell for it, didn’t you?” She was quick to accuse.

“No. No, I didn’t,” and I let out a little laugh, “because I knew. I know that sometimes you try so hard to make someone happy and one day it doesn’t mean a damn thing anymore. And it’s so sad but there’s nothing you can do about it. You take it as it is and you move forward, because that’s the thing about this: all we’re doing is making promises we can’t ever keep. But there’s this little piece inside of you hoping that it might be different this time around - whatever helps you sleep at night, right?”

—  c.f. // “whatever helps you sleep at night”

I really want like, Victuuri language shenanigans where they try to learn romantic/sexy things to say in the other’s language but totally fuck it up so it either comes out as gibberish or something definitely not sexy.

Or like Victor did something to annoy Mari so she’s out to get back at him and is like ‘hey, let me teach you this really cute and romantic thing to say in Japanese, Yuuri will love it. Nothing suspicious here, I just like helping with my brother’s romantic life.’

Later than night Yuuri literally cries from laughing so hard because Victor leaned over to sensually whisper 'I smell like beef’ in his ear.

BTS Reaction to you accidentally calling them daddy in front of their fans

Anon Requested:  BTS reaction to you (their s/o) accidentally calling them daddy in front of fans

Honestly this would probably be me without a doubt and I can’t help but laugh thinking about this.


Jungkook: Once the words slipped out of your mouth you couldn’t help but laugh at both Jungkook and the fans face. His face was turning lightly pink while the fan’s eyes were wide. “You do like getting called Oppa!” The fan screamed before running away to her friends. Jungkook looked absolutely mortified when walking back to the rest of the boys while you couldn’t help but have tears running down your face from laughing so hard.

Originally posted by soojoongi

V: Taehyung had only asked for a simple request when you were standing behind him at a fan signing but you couldn’t help but have the words ‘Yes Daddy’ slip from your lips and before you knew it the fan nearly squealed with excitement to know her idol liked being called Daddy. Taehyung froze along with you and you couldn’t believe you actually said those words in front of a fan.

Originally posted by suga-com

Jimin: When you uttered the words your body physically tensed and stiffened when the fan stared at you wide eyed. Jimin couldn’t do anything but give off a smirk towards you before your face turned red and you bowed before uttering an apology and leaving. You couldn’t help but hear the faint words of “Yes I do like being called that.” coming from your boyfriends lips as you walked away.

Originally posted by c-stress

J-Hope: Hoseok would turn into a fumbling mess, whatever he had in his hands let it be an open water bottle or a gift a fan had just given him he’d most likely break or drop. You couldn’t help but let a small smirk be brought up to your face before letting it disappear once the fan’s eyes landed on you. You uttered a short apology before picking up whatever Hoseok had dropped and handing it back to him. His eyes darted into yours and you knew you were in for it once he got you alone. 

Originally posted by junghoshikie

Rap Monster: Namjoon wouldn’t even try hiding the smirk that stayed plastered to his face, you on the other hand would be a mumbling mess uttering a thousand apologies to the young fan that had to witness the words leaving your mouth. “She’s young jagi, she doesn’t know what you meant by that.” Namjoon would quietly whisper in your ear, you looked down at the confused little girl and let a sigh escape your lips once you realized that she really didn’t know the meaning of your words.

“But he’s too young to be your daddy, how is he your daddy?”

“Uh-oh.”

Originally posted by jenorise

Suga: When the words left your mouth the fan couldn’t help but widen her eyes and cover her mouth while a small giggle left her lips. Neither of you and Yoongi noticed what you said until you both looked at the fan. Yoongi would have to ask what was so funny when all she said was “Daddy?” You’d literally fall down laughing at the face the fan gave Yoongi while you just scratched the back of his head and shrugged. 

Originally posted by sugagifs

Jin: Jin would immediately start fake laughing as his face turned bright red. He’d have to reassure the fan that it was just a joke and that you never meant to say that, his eyes would be scolding you while he gently nudged you to agree with him. The fan herself didn’t look like she believed him and spoke up before you did. “For someone who’s an actor I would’ve thought you would at least be able to get your laugh down.” You choked back a laugh once you saw the fan walk away and Jin couldn’t have been more red.

Originally posted by jjilljj

2

@rhettandlink‘s buddy system is so good i cant believe it!!! so to celebrate i drew some things. i couldn’t decide which version i liked best so i have like 3 other versions too whoops

also all my R&L merch came in the mail today(all at once!!!) so honestly today is just great. i’m so happy