i was laughing and crying all at the same time

Me and my fiancé have a bond so strong it’s sometimes hard to believe love like we have still exist, I really love him with all my heart, only person who can make me cry and smile and laugh at the same time. He loves me like my parents love me so intangible and unconditionally, I hope everyone finds love so pure it betters them as a person.
Photographer: @bloodonmynikon (Instagram) models @mothershipk @xmarksvintage

10

→ Catherine de Medici + Francis II, for @cassanabaratheon, Happy Birthday sweet <3

2

A Lot of Very Important things i noticed about the new video:

  • all the names they called thomas at the start omg
  • They’er wearing sweaters i am complete
  • romAN’S REACTION TO VIRGIL IN HIS SWEATER THAT WAS SO CUTE OMG
  • Logan and Patton at the same time “I’d say mine is rather toasty. “*GASP* DAD JOKE??” “NEVER.. intentionally” “sureee”
  • Virgil’s sweater paws ahhhh
  • “Our first christmas with Virgil” ….   :’ ) im fine
  • Patton cannot catch and i love him
  • “ughh im not bitter”
  • Virgil nervous tapping 
  • “Alright boys, lets! Get! Festive!”
  • THEY ARE ALL!! IN!! THE SAME!! FRAME!! AHHH
  • Patton still says quack
  • “Is this some sort of punishment for something?”
  • “Seven slights at Virgil :)”
  • “The kids love it, incredible-” “…?” “Incredible sulk!”
  • “Fiveee ruined kids films!” “paTTON”
  • AND VIRGILS SMILE!! RIGHT AFTER THAT IM CRYING HES ADORABLE, HE LAUGHED HELP ME IM SO HAPPY I WANT TO REWATCH THAT OVER AND OVER SO I WILL
  • Logan’s like pointing? what was that?? a dance??? nerd
  • “five second cookies” AND VIRGILS SMILE AGAIN
  • “You jerks!”
  • “Are you trying to rap??” “i do not like to sing.”
  • “Come on Virgil, you can do it!”
  • “five FALSEHOODS!!!” help im dying hes so loud kjhgfdsdfgh
  • logan honey dabbing isnt cool anymore please stop
  • logan holy shIT BOY WHY DONT YOU SING MORE IM SHOOK
  • Also Patton and Roman looked so delighted omg same
  • “I don’t know much about humour but-”
  • Roman literally what is going on why r you so stressed boi chill
  • “Alright, it wasn’t…. goood?”  “idontlikeyou :( ”
  • magic pen
  • “And an emo who’s now our best friend” IM NOT CRYING SHH
  • “awww you love us, shut up.”
  • “I don’t know who the true love in that song was, was it Thomas?” “It’s not important.”  O.o ???
  • “….yeah, thats totally what I meant,,, merry christmas everyone!!”
  • “And hopefully not visions of your naked aunt pattiy” BITCH WHAT
  • Don’t u dare destruct on thomas’ creations bc ill fight
  • Patton’s so loud and excited what a pure boy
  • ROMAN YOU ARE INCREDIBLE YOU WROTE A WHOLE 400 PAGE PLAY IM SO
  • God patton is so fricking adorable
  • ROMAN EW YOU FREAKING LOSER OMG ILYSM BUT ARE YOU EATING PASTA WITH YOUR BARE HANDS WTF WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS LMAO
  • Virgil my anxious bby :( <3
  • AHHHH NOW THEYVE BOTH GIVEN EACH OTHER A CARD ALSO A MISLEADING COMPLIMENT WHAT A GOOD DAY
  • They’re all so cute
  • “Dad joke” “aw shi-”
  • i love this video with every fibre of my being
I missed you

Loki x Reader

Genre: SO MUCH ANGST

Word Count: 1,383

Summary: You find out that your husband, Loki was still alive after falling from the Bifrost, and you were determined to see him. Although, when you do, it is not hugs and kisses like you expected from reuniting with the love of your life.

AN: mmkayyy, so my first shot at actually writing something, tell me if you like it. I just needed some good and frustrating ANGST. If y’all like it, maybe I’ll write more. If not, I’ll probably hide in my shell and never write again. Feedback is always welcome tho 


“I command you let me through!” You were yelling at the two guards blocking the path to the dungeons, or as you thought, your path to Loki. “We have orders from the Allfather, Lady Y/N,” they replied. “I don’t understand why I am forbidden to see my own husband.”

You had been arguing for almost an hour before you heard a familiar voice boom through the hallway. “Let her pass!” Whipping your head, you saw familiar golden locks and a sympathetic look from Thor. “He has already been sentenced to life in those dungeons. No need to keep him from reuniting with his dear wife" 

Thor put an arm around your shoulder and interrupted the guards before they could speak again, “Come! I will escort you to my brother”

After passing through the large doors and turning a corner, Thor stopped to look at you and sighed. “Lady Y/N, I know you must miss him but you cannot just bother these dungeons. He cannot be trusted. He is not the same Loki you grew up with centuries ago… that Loki fell from the Bifrost” He held your shoulders and you know that he means well but you couldn’t help but feel anger start to bubble up inside you.

“How is he different? He’s made mistakes but don’t we all? Thor, I lost him once but I know he is still my Loki.” You looked at Thor hoping he would understand, and sighed. “And even if he weren’t… I’d love him all the same.”

 Thor let out a second deep sigh and let go of your shoulders. “I hope he knows that.” You continued walking until you and Thor reached a rather large and furnished cell and saw the raven hair you missed running your fingers through.

“I must go now. I might need to speak to father before the guards do.” Thor turned and walked away before stopping to shortly look back between you and Loki. After Thor had left, you walked closer to the cell in front of you.

“Loki,” You spoke quietly but loud enough for him to slightly turn his head to the side.

His hair was much longer from the last time you saw him. From what you could see, his eyes looked sunken and his face was a sickly pale color.

“Loki,” You repeated and he furrowed his brows before standing up and turning to you. “What are you doing here?” He spoke harshly and glared. You were confused for a moment. He seemed angry and ashamed all at once but you still missed the sound of his voice after it had stopped flowing from his lips.

“I wanted to see you.” You continued keeping your voice at a whisper. He scoffed and looked away. You didn’t understand what you were feeling. You wanted to kiss him and punch him all at once. He left you but he’s here now. You started to feel the tears prick at your eyes and you looked down at your feet, from being so overwhelmed, you assumed.

“Did you miss me?” You heard Loki’s voice mock and you looked up to see his back turned to you once again.

Your tears subsided and whatever you were feeling turned into anger. Angry at him for everything; for leaving you and letting you cry at night, for mocking you now and for not seemingly missing you at all. At the same time you were angry at yourself for still wanting feel his lips against yours.

You furrowed your brows and raised your voice a little louder, “No, Loki. I didn’t.” Loki turned back to face you and looked taken aback, all you could do was let out a laugh and wipe the tears away. “I didn’t miss you at all. I didn’t miss the one person I called my friend. I didn’t miss the person I married. Gods, I didn’t miss having someone hold me at night or comfort me when I cried!” You were screaming and tears were falling hard at this point and you were trying to look anywhere but him.

“Y/N, I-” He started but you quickly interrupted him, not caring how much your voice cracked. “Of course I missed you, Loki” Your voice was back to a whisper and you looked back at your feet. You didn’t realize you had walked as close as you could to the cell. “I died when I heard what happened.” You let out a sigh and continued, “All I wanted was to see you again…” You looked up to see he looked… Sad. He had tears in his eyes but his mouth was turned downward like he was disgusted, not with you, but himself.

“I’m sorry, Y/N” Two words from his lips and all you wanted to do was hug him.  You just missed the feeling of him. You didn’t realize you were crying now just looking at his face.

“Why did you leave me? Why didn’t you tell me that you were okay? That you were alive?” You just wanted to know and every part of you was relieved that he was alive but hurt that he kept himself away from you and let you mourn.

“I couldn’t, Y/N.” he turned away again and started to walk towards his bed and you wanted to throw your slipper at him. “Why not!?” You yelled and he stopped moving completely. You saw his body stiffen and he let out a deep sigh.

“Y/N…”

“Did you not want to be with me?” You didn’t even understand what was coming out of your mouth. You wanted an answer. Something to explain why you didn’t eat for months and cried yourself to sleep, wishing you had fallen from the Bifrost. You just wanted him back with you.

“Of course I wanted to be with you, Y/N!” Loki yelled and interrupted your thoughts quickly. “Everyday, I wish to be beside you again. To hold you while you sleep. To be out of this accursed cell and be wherever you are!” He was running his fingers roughly through his hair, causing the slicked back locks to fall out of place. “But I couldn’t…”

“Why not!?” You yelled again

"I’m a monster, Y/N!” He looked at you full of rage. Not particularly at you but at everything. He wanted the world to melt away. “I couldn’t take it and especially after what I’ve done, I was too ashamed to even think of holding you again.” He sat on a small chair and put his head in his hands. You know what happened in Midgard but frankly, didn’t care when they told you he was okay.

“Did you at least try?” Your voice was cracking, you weren’t even sure if Loki could still hear you. All he did was sigh again before speaking up, not moving from his spot. “I wasn’t strong enough to try… I was too weak.”

“Were you too weak… or too selfish” You were hurting all over and your chest felt like a sack of bricks. It worsened when you saw a tear slip past Loki’s palm. “I don’t deserve you, Y/N…” He was near sobbing and it made your heart burn and caused you to choke back a sob yourself but you were just as mad.

"Loki, please… Just look at me” Your voice was still cracked but you had managed to cease the tears that were falling from your eyes. He looked up at you and you saw the tears that covered his cheeks.

“I’m not strong enough to try anymore, Y/N” He started to whisper, afraid that he wouldn’t be coherent if all you could hear was sobbing when he raised his voice. Hearing his words, your tears pushed out once more. You could feel your heart tearing itself to pieces. It felt worse than when you heard about his “death”. You felt hopeless. He was not the monster he believed himself to be nor did you believe he ever will be, but it seemed like he was the shell of your Loki.

“I missed you, Loki” you whispered one last time and turned around to leave when he put his head back in his hands and started to choke back his sobs.

“I missed you too, Y/N" 


Part 2 “Safe”

Aqours 1st Live - Aida Rikako’s post-live thoughts

Aqours 1st LoveLive!
Thank you very much for the past two days at ~Step! ZERO to ONE~!! It really, really was a marvelous time. I had fun from the bottom of my heart, and I’m not even exaggerating. It really was a great feeling that made me feel like I was truly alive. I cannot forget everyone’s faces that I saw while I was going around on the trolley. Everyone was shining!!
In truth, when I first heard about the results of Sunshine’s audition, I was at Yokohama Arena with my mother. I can still remember when we were embracing each other even now. It has been 2 years since then. I would never have dreamed that we would be able to stand on this stage now. Love Live! Is something that a lot of people have given their love for, and I once again felt really blessed to be able to take part in it.
I learned the real value of becoming a team and going up from 0. There were 9 of us on stage, but the stage that we created was because of the all the team members, as well as the fans.

This is all I can say!
There was a lot of love enveloping us, and it really, really became a marvelous live!!!!!! However, I have something I must apologize to everyone for. I would like to apologize for the worries that I felt. After discussing with the rest of the team, I decided to perform on the piano. I never wanted to back down, so I requested to be given the chance to do it.
And so, I really give my apologies to the rest of the team who believed in me until the end; I betrayed them. It was exactly because of that that we did not discuss the possibility of failure. Also, having made the other members feel worry in that moment, as well as all the people who had paid money to watch a professional fail, all these emotions mixed together in my head and I panicked. Somehow, I was able to complete it on Day 1, so I calmed down and decided to play with more of a smile like Riko’s on Day 2. To be honest, I cannot remember that moment very well. But the members rushed over to me during the dance, and I also heard the voices of everyone there, so I was able to stop crying and bring back out the “Sakurauchi Riko” within Aida Rikako once again. Without that, my heart would’ve surely broken, and I would’ve regretted it for the rest of my life. Thank you very much for giving me another chance. And then the lyrics of Omoi yo Hitotsu ni Nare also resonated in my chest and supported me. I was once again able to realize how great the power of music was, and that it was able to give me so much courage.

“It was really the greatest performance by everyone! I was moved!” was what I heard from a lot of people, but a failure is a failure. I am no longer qualified to be a professional standing on stage. I really reflected on it.
And after that I had to perform with a smile. Because I was no longer qualified to cry. But I was able to continue until the very end thanks to the warmth of all the fans. Thank you, thank you very much for supporting me.
Also, I will never forget the members who rushed over so that I wouldn’t be alone, and held me and my hands in that unbelievable location, all the time from before the beginning until after the very end, as well as the fun after the live as they greeted me with smiles and laughed it off. Those 8 people who were there definitely felt the same way as everyone. I was glad that it was 9 people once again. Thank so so much for saving me.
And also, I am very grateful to the piano teacher who seriously taught the amateur me who could not even read musical notes for 3 months.
It was really difficult; my fingers did not move as I expected, but I was able to slowly get better and better at playing, and I was able to think, “Playing the piano is fun!” And that was definitely thanks to the people who told me so. I started the piano from this age, so I was worried about whether it was truly okay, but I was told many times that it was important to challenge that thought.

It’s getting quite long, but I wanted to tell everyone as soon as possible.

Now, the second season of the TV anime, as well as 2nd live tour and many others were announced! Aqours is advancing from here onto the next Step once again. In order to make all of you know more and more about Aqours, I will put out my heart and try even harder than my best that I have done until now as a member of Aqours!!!
So please cheer me on as a member of Aqours and as Sakurauchi Riko from now on as well.

I will forever treasure everyone who supported me.
Let’s go and see more marvelous sights together! The voice of Sakurauchi Riko 🌸 Aida Rikako


Holy shit.

1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

Did you know that when you
push someone so far off a ledge,
their heart stops beating for minutes at a time
because they’re scared you’re gonna
push them all the way off?

Did you know that when
you decide you’re not going to push them
all the way off that ledge,
they’re not going to want to stay with you
any longer; they’re not going to want to
stick around to see if the next time,
you will push too far?

I push people so far away from me,
arms length isn’t in my vocabulary.
This is bodies of water worth away;
the Pacific Ocean has nothing on me—
I’ll push people so far,
they won’t be able to see my face but
when they finally decide they need to leave,
I will swim the length of the ocean to
pull them back to me.

Did you know that it doesn’t matter
if you swim oceans worth of water
to make it back to the person you don’t want to lose
because you almost killed them when you
teased them, holding them off
that ledge; do you realize that
they aren’t going to want
to stay, no matter how much you wheeze
from the trek to and from where
you left them?

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

Touch me on the shoulder and
push my hair behind my ear and
whisper to me that you love me and
tell me I’m beautiful and that you
need me and need me and need me and
I will never stop loving every inch of you

UNTIL

one morning you wake up and you
leave too early or you
forget to say goodbye or
you just exist as you are but
don’t remind me that I’m okay and
I decide that you’ve begun to hate me
and in turn I hate you right back

UNTIL

I remember that I love you and
if you leave me I will never be able to breathe again and
I love you and I love you and I love you and
it feels like you’re ignoring me and
I just want you to love me

UNTIL

I realize I have to leave you before
you leave me; and you, inevitably, will leave me so
I decide you no longer mean a thing.

3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

Laugh and I’ll laugh with you,
cry and I’ll cry too.

Say something cute and I will
say it again later when you’re not there and
tell me your favorite color and
it will be my favorite color too.

Not only will it be my favorite color but
I’ll paint it on my apartment walls and
I’ll buy a whole new wardrobe with nothing
but clothes that color and
tell me that you love high heels and
I’ll buy 60 pairs and when you dye your hair,
suddenly I’ll do my hair the same way.

Laugh and I’ll laugh too,
cry and I’ll cry too.

Hate someone and I’ll hate that person with you and
love a celebrity and I’ll love her too and
I’ll paste her posters all over my apartment walls and
I’ll watch all her movies and
listen to all her music and

you’re gonna think we are just
/ so, so alike / when really,

you make a move and I mimick you;
you make a move and I say JINX in my head
as if we moved at the same time and
you’ll owe me a soda even though really
I owe you a personality but
I don’t have the capacity to afford one.

4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging.

When I drive to therapy I am running late
because I am always running late and
I drive my car too close to the side where
the parked cars sleep for the night
and I hit a side mirror with my own and
drive away so fast I drive through a stop sign
right next to a preschool and
at therapy she asks me why I am being
so reckless and impulsive and I say,
“What are you talking about?” because
I can’t understand that my behavior
is at all impulsive
and reckless.

I don’t eat all day because I want control until
night comes and I eat and
I eat and I eat and
I eat
and the toilet bowl calls out to me and
I vomit until the veins in my eyes
streak red lines in their white and
I look like the monster that I feel I am.

5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self- mutilating­ behavior.

In a moment of absolute and utter hopelessness I think to myself,
“If I kill myself she will feel so fucking bad,”
and I swallow bottles of pills because
I think I want to die and I also want
the people who did me wrong to feel
the same ache that I have in my chest because of
what they did to my heart.

I am angry with my friend and she
thinks that I will cope the same as any
normal person and I go home / after our / fight / and /
I take a blade / to the soft flesh of my wrists ///
and slice ////// until the bathtub fills with red
and /// I think to myself,
“that will fucking show her.” ////
(I don’t tell her what I did. I want her
to know but the pain calms the anger;
the blood is enough.)

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood

I sit in my apartment with Friends
playing on the TV and I laugh along
with the annoying laugh track and then
I drop an empty cup on the carpet and
I scream out with rage as if
the cup was filled with acid and
it burned through the carpet and hard floor
even though the fucking cup
was fucking empty.

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness

Do I even have a heart
beating in my chest?
How can I be alive when
I’m nothing more than
an empty shell?

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger

As a teenager, doctors were desperate
to explain away my emotions;
they would say that I was just
an angry girl and that
sometimes kids are angry
and when I punched holes in the walls
and sliced open my skin out of pure rage
it was okay because I was just
The Angry Girl and
it simply didn’t matter what was causing
that severe emotional response.

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

These are not my hands.

You can’t help me heal
when I don’t
actually exist.

I swear
you can’t see
me when
I’m like this.

Can you see me?
I can’t feel my limbs.

I’m scared. Please,
look at me so I can
know that I exist.

—  THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE PART 6: BPD EDITION (han hyland)

concept: when the boys are alone on the roof at night and andrew makes neil laugh, it’s a high-pitched giggle: all eye crinkles and nose scrunches, hands cupping mouth and shoulders raised. or when they’re in andrew’s bedroom at columbia, neil laughs with his whole body: lightly falling into andrew’s side, a boyish grin turning his cheeks all aching pink, nuzzling into andrew’s shoulder so as not to disturb the others downstairs. or on late-night drives along empty highways, all open fondness painting his features and the gleam in his eyes when the moon catches just the right angle, tongue peeking out between teeth and eyes turning to crescents. it’s the stolen moments in public—soundless laughs and biting his inner cheek in a failed attempt to stifle his mirth. it’s furious joy and that warm aching feeling because he doesn’t have to be afraid to be happy anymore; he has time.

Imagine while getting an award you let it slip you are pregnant in front of the entire audience and your husband, Jensen.

“Wow I really-” you blinked looking down at the award “Are you sure this is about me? Maybe there was some mix up here? Maybe it’s for someone else?” you laughed nervously, the crowd laughing as well. You let out a shaky sigh, looking at your husband with an emotional smile as he smiled widely and very proudly at you.

“I know I should make a speech about this, I should have prepared something, but I was so sure I wouldn’t get it, despite what my husband said. Wow now I have a bet lost to him, dang it I was always the one to win bets! And look how happy he looks about it, you cheeky bastard!” you said teasingly at him as he grinned at you, winking.

Keep reading

3

Rick and Morty S3xE7

Really, really LOVE this episode. There were moments of me awing, screaming, laughing, and crying all at the same time. Like how many stories did it have in this? 5, 6?? And it all worked out so smoothly and I just wanted more of just THIS!!!

This was a legit RICK AND MORTY episode. Now all I want is just THAT!!! I wanna see more Mortys and Ricks from different realities and how they deal with day to day stuff. Oh gawd this show will be the END OF ME!!! XDD

What I really loved from this was Cop Rick and Cop Morty. I NEED more drawings of these two PLEASE!!!

youtube.com
Thor: Ragnarok Movie Clip - Get Help (2017) | Movieclips Coming Soon
Thor: Ragnarok Movie Clip - Get Help (2017): Check out the new clip starring Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston! Be the first to watch, comment, and share cl...

I’m gonna deconstruct this scene because I’ve been thinking about it ALL DAY and what the hell, I’ve got time. This clip demonstrates what I love most about Taika Waititi’s filmmaking and it shows off Chris and Tom’s chemistry in the fiercest way. It’s hilarious, sweet, bittersweet, surprising, and poignant.

1) “Loki, I thought the world of you.” 

Even though there was an instinctive part of me that screamed, “OK, WELL, YOUR ACTIONS TOLD A DIFFERENT STORY, THOR” due to residual bitterness over what a dickbag Thor was in the first film, I’m 1,000% here for this line. I’m proud of how much Thor has matured, thrilled that these two are actually talking to each other, and happy that Loki’s hearing something he’s probably always wanted/needed to hear even though it’s bittersweet because Thor’s using the past tense.

Tom’s reaction here is SO GOOD. Just the tiniest shift in his eyebrows to indicate that Thor has Loki’s attention and he’s fucking locked in and hanging on to every word.

2) “I thought we were gonna fight side by side forever, but at the end of the day you’re you and I’m me.”

I know there was a minor (?) uproar over Chris’ comments that Thor will be “indifferent” to Loki in Ragnarok, but this scene seems to suggest a kind of acceptance rather than indifference. Maybe for the first time, Thor truly seems to have accepted that he and Loki are fundamentally different beings–and by extension, he’s accepting Loki’s nature. Yes, part of that acceptance means letting go and moving on (note: I did not say giving up) and that’s sad, but realistic I think. How many fakeout deaths and stabbings can a person be expected to withstand? “You’re you” is a significant break in pattern for Thor and Loki appears genuinely taken aback by it.

“You’re you” is a huge deal because to me, the brothers’ central conflict has always boiled down to the fact that Loki isn’t Thor (thanks, Odin, for exacerbating this tension). For Loki, that fact is a source of self-loathing and resentment, something that he can act out against and, as Tom has often said, define himself in opposition to.

By the same token I think it’s become clearer that what Loki thinks of Thor matters to Thor. For an older sibling, having a younger sibling who looks up to you and wants to be like you is perhaps one of the biggest indicators that you’re a good–dare I say worthy–person. Ever since Loki let go of Gungnir Thor has struggled to make sense of Loki’s rejection, to define himself without the security of having his brother by his side. With that in mind I’ve always seen Thor’s past attempts to bring Loki back to the “good” side as heartfelt and genuine, but also somewhat ego-driven and shortsighted because it came at the expense of Loki’s autonomy and self-identification.

Cut to now. By acknowledging that he and Loki are each their own person, Thor’s relieving Loki of the pressure and expectation to be anyone other than himself. In a way that’s a gift, but it’s also terribly sad because it’s accompanied by loss for both of them. Which brings me to:

3) “I dunno, maybe there’s still good in you but let’s be honest: our paths diverged a long time ago.”

It’s in this moment that Loki really seems to realize where this conversation is headed. And he doesn’t like it.

We know Loki lives to test Thor. It’s his (super dysfunctional and unhealthy) way of making sure Thor still cares about him. In The Dark World, Loki tests Thor’s assertions that he doesn’t trust him and has lost hope for him by … getting himself impaled. Yeah, “dying” was also his “get out of jail free, usurp the throne” card, but it’s not insignificant that he calls Thor’s bluff in the process. 

4) “Yeah. It’s probably for the best that we never see each other again.”

Speaking of calling Thor’s bluff, I think Loki–because he’s a smart little fucker–says this in order to get ahead of the conversation. He knows what’s coming, so he pulls the classic “I’ll reject you before you reject me” move. But I don’t think he means it. It’s more likely that he’s trying to balance the scales so he’s not on the utter losing side of this conversation. And honestly? Deep down I doubt he can bear to hear Thor say it and by proactively agreeing with him he’s holding out hope that Thor will pull a “JK!” and change his mind.

5) “That’s what you always wanted.”

OMG THOR HAS GOTTEN SO SMART. I mean, I guess it’s within the realm of possibility that Thor is still really dumb about Loki’s feelings/motivations, but personally it’s more fun and satisfying to think he sees Loki’s test and raises him an even bigger one.

Loki’s face is so sad-funny. His plan backfired, he’s panicking a little, but he’s got to save face and play it cool, and he’s also legit sad because he knows this outcome is the culmination of his past actions and he did his part in paving this road for both of them. And at the end of the day he’s still the younger brother who doesn’t want to appear weak, so he’s doing his best to match Thor’s tone and attitude.

The moment when Loki lifts his chin and gives a little nod is a dead giveaway; never seeing Thor again is the opposite of what he wants, but he’s prepared to accept that it’s too late for anything else. It’s SO far from an apology, but for Loki it’s about the most mature thing we’ve seen him do.

The fact that for once they’re not arguing with each other is what made me tear up. It’s like they both know they should’ve had this conversation years ago, when it could have made all the difference, but at the same time they know that moment has passed. THIS IS FUCKING TRAGIC.

(If I wrote this movie, this would be the moment where they both dissolve into tears, fall on the floor, and cry-hug it out, which is why I write poetry and not screenplays.)

6) “Hey, let’s do Get Help.”

This was the beginning of the death of me, I will never be the same. I laughed so hard. On the surface this whole exchange may seem like just a gag–and it IS funny as hell–but I feel like it’s working on so many levels and reveals something deeper about Thor and Loki’s bond.

First of all, if you’re me, everything that preceded this moment was really uncomfortable and sad and almost unbearable to witness so I don’t think it’s a stretch to assume that Thor and Loki were feeling some of that too.

What I love about this transition is that Thor immediately cuts through the tension, probably to put both of them at ease and bring them back into the more familiar territory of their rapid-fire banter. Loki seems a bit surprised but relieved.

IMO, this brief exchange of dialogue does more to convey Loki and Thor’s bond and establish their history than anything we’ve been shown in the previous films (not counting that deleted scene from the first movie). I thought it was really poignant to see them revert to/rely upon something from their distant past. You can tell this is an argument they’ve had a zillion times before. You can tell from the stunt itself that it’s something they’ve had many opportunities to perfect. 

Even though Loki is reluctant to participate, he does, because he still craves inclusion and acceptance. Even though Thor is no longer quite as overbearing and arrogant as he once was, he regresses into that role so that he can get his younger brother back for just a moment. It’s like they’re consoling themselves without admitting that they want to be consoled. And yeah, on a practical note they also need to find a way off of Sakaar.

In conclusion, they’ve both just conceded that their relationship has reached an impasse with no real way forward, yet in the immediate aftermath of this supposed acceptance they choose to revert to an older dynamic that reflects presumably happier times. They don’t want to quit each other. This is fine. It’s fine. I’m not crying. I love them. The end.

I’m deep in my feels right now and probably projecting a lot (HI, HELLO, I HAVE A TROUBLED YOUNGER BROTHER, I’VE NEVER USED HIM AS A PROJECTILE BUT I UNDERSTAND THE IMPULSE), but even without having seen this scene in the full context of the film, it’s my favorite Thor/Loki moment to date. It’s what I’ve always wanted. It actually brings “We were raised together, we played together, we fought together” to life in a meaningful way, whereas in The Avengers I felt like those were just words.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading!

Modern!Reddie Wedding Headcanons

This is my very first time doing headcanons so we’ll see how it goes! I definitely want to do more. Here we go.

  • The second that same-sex marriage was legalized in all 50 states, Richie dropped down on one knee and proposed with the ring pop he’d been eating.
  • After laughing (and crying) for a few minutes, Eddie enthusiastically accepted.
  • Richie decides to wear this horrendous Hawaiian floral print suit that Eddie says he hates but secretly loves.
  • Richie’s vows are hilarious as expected, but there’s a few particularly sweet moments.
  • Eddie’s vows are incredibly long and heartfelt like wow.
  • Most of the wedding party is in tears by the time he finishes.
  • He’ll later admit that he’d started writing them after his and Richie’s first kiss.
  • “Aw geez Eds, I had no clue you felt that way about me.” “We’re getting married, asshole.”
  • Their reception is the Party Of The Year™
  • The entirety of the Losers’ Club is in attendance, and they all make speeches loaded with inside jokes.
  • It gets to a point where the few other people in attendance can’t even understand what they’re saying.
  • Eddie cries a lot (tears of joy, obviously).
  • When Richie sees Eddie crying, he starts crying too.
  • They’re both just so happy and in love.
  • “I love you so much, Eds.” “I love you too, Trashmouth.”

The group during finals

Lance:

- Is a literal walking panic attack

- Constantly two projects away from a mental breakdown

- Lance: *Staring at textbook* Who the fuck needs to know this that’s it I’m dropping out and becoming a stripper wallowing in student debt why fuck do I have to know this what is calm

- His room looks like a tornado ran through it, yet somehow knows where everything is

- Hunk: Have you seen my good highlighter

Lance: Yeah I borrowed it, it’s next to my shark plushie under the pile of graph paper by the knocked over lamp

- Is vibrating from caffeine all day everyday

- Energy drinks are his best friend

- Holds things off to the week before it’s due because of anxiety and immediately regrets it

- But seriously, he will do anything to get out of final projects

- Hunk once came home to the living room covered in tin foil because he had spent that past four hours watching alien documentaries

- Hunk: Lance why did Keith call me saying you asked to borrow his motorcycle so you could drive to Seatle

Lance: You can’t worry about midterms if you launch yourself off the space needle

- But no matter what, he somehow manages to get at least six hours of sleep because he still cares about his skin

- Stress eats whatever Hunk cooks but easily burns off the extra calories with the amount of pacing he does in their apartment

Hunk:

- Distracts himself with cooking, but is too anxious to eat any

- Seriously, their entire apartment smells like a bakery for an entire month

- Since Lance can’t eat everything, Hunk will just hand stuff out around campus, and it’s actually really cool for other people

- Starts out really organized but by the end of the month his room is just as trashed as Lance’s

- Their apartment is a wreck ok

- Doesn’t need caffeine, he has the power of adrenaline and pure anxiety to keep him awake

- Likes to study wrapped in a fluffy hand knit blanket his mom’s sent him

- Finds candles really relaxing when he gets particularly stressed out

Pidge:

- Is eerily calm

- When she isn’t hunched over a computer or textbook, she’s staring into the void

- What is sleep??

- Literally runs on coffee and Ritz crackers

- Looks like she’s about about to kill a man

- or like she already has

- Wears the same green sweatshirt and sweatpants

- Studies in the most obsure places

- Matt has found her with her laptop in insane places, including but not limited to on top of the fridge, under the sink, behind the tv stand, in the bathtub, in the dryer

- As soon as she leaves her last tests, she drops face first onto the nearest piece of furniture and doesn’t move until she’s gotten at least twelve hours of sleep

Shiro:

- This guy literally disappears the entire month

- No one sees him in class, but somehow his assignments get turned in

- Keith will check on him by stopping by his dorm or calling him just make sure he isn’t, you know, dead?

- Keith: working hard bud?

Shiro: I haven’t slept in three days

Keith: …

Shiro: I watched a six hour Compilation of Nyan Cat instead of doing my chemistry essay

Keith: …

Keith: great so I’ll see you at our exam tomorrow?

- When he finally shows up for exams he looks like death

- I’m talking wrinkled clothes, eyebags heavier then his soul, probably hasn’t shaved in a week

- Once he’s showered and gotten something to eat he just sort of… latches onto you like a cat?

- mostly Keith or Matt

- he needs to make up for that human contact ok?

Keith:

- What is calm?

- Definately more on edge then usual

- Will bite your head off for using his favorite eraser

- Around the middle of the month he’ll sort of just blow up?

- He just starts yelling about how stressed he is and all shit he has left to do and how his goldfish died when he was seven because Shiro’s cat ate it and this boy just needs to rant about everything and nothing

- When he’s finally done he’ll just slump onto the couch and bury his face into your shoulder

- the first time it happened with Lance, Keith fell asleep as soon as he came into contact with him

- Now whenever one of them is stressed out they’ll just snuggle and procrastinate together

Keith, after an outburst: So anyways I have two presentations, six exams, and a fifteen page essay due Friday and haven’t started on any of it

Lance: Aww babe, you wanna go watch the Bee Movie so I don’t have to work on my French paper?

Keith: Yeah :)

- this boi. Stress eats.

- scarfs down whatever is in sight at a pace that makes everyone worried he might choke on the wrapper

- A bag of Cornnuts is almost always within three feet of him

Matt:

- “Lol what are finals?”

- time management? Don’t know her

- Covers his crippling panic with memes

- Pidge once walked in on him hunched over a textbook crying and laughing at the same time because the parapgrah he was reading talked about the mitochondria being the power house of cell and it was all he could think about

- No can tell if he’s joking or not???

- Matt: I haven’t slept in two days lmao

Matt: I have three essays due for separate classes and haven’t started any of them lol

Matt: I’m gonna drop out and make a house out of these textbooks:))))

Pidge: dude are you ok

- Will always start out being really productive, but any study session somehow ends with a two hour vine compilation

- Matt, pouring three Five Hour Energies into his double espresso: ride or die bitches

Allura:

- Has her shit together

- probably uses dark magic

- seriously, how is she still getting a solid eight hours of sleep???

- Takes everyone under her wing to help them study

- her dorm room basically becomes the study group hub (“Also you have the cool snacks from your uncle!”)

- leaves exams feeling confident

- likes to celebrate the end of exams by going out for lunch when everyone else is half dead in their dorms

literal transcript of a 5sos interview | 9
  • Interviewer: Big spoon or Little spoon?
  • Luke: What? This is a funny question.
  • Calum: How many people are spooning?
  • Ashton: Is it like a spoon train?
  • Calum: Is this a spoon train?
  • Luke: Spain?
  • I: how many is a spoon train?
  • Calum: *without missing a beat* up to 10 people
  • Ashton: I'm a little spoon
  • Luke: I kinda like litt–being a little spoon.
  • Michael: Really?? Eugh!
  • Calum: *shaking his head* No
  • Ashton: What do you mean 'eugh'
  • Luke: Being a big spoon your arm gets numb
  • Ashton: Yeah
  • Luke: You wake up and you can't feel your arm
  • Calum: Theres noting more emasculating than being a little spoon
  • Michael: *at the same time as calum* Big spoon all day everyday
  • Luke: I think you know what? If your comfortable with someone, I think you can be a little spoon.
  • Ashton: Me and Luke are little spoons because we're cancers
  • Luke: *laughing* cause we're cancers
  • Ashton: It's a cancer thing
  • Calum: What sign are you?
  • Michael: Scorpio
  • Calum: I'm Aquarius
  • Michael: I'm big spoon. You'll never get me not being big– the only time I'm not the big spoon is if I'm crying. And then in that case–
  • Calum: *taking over Michael* And i've never cried
  • Michael: I'm full fetal position
  • Ashton: Cancers are always crying, we just cry about stuff

Le Duo: if Gaston and Lefou starred in their own sitcom 

Honestly tho this would be like one of those sitcoms that are really funny in the beginning then get kinda emotional as the series goes on… it would start with Gaston, with the help of his friend and wingman, Lefou, trying to get Belle to say yes to a date with him and miserably/hilariously failing every time. But the thing is, it would get really feelsy soon because Lefou would start to realize he has feelings for his friend, and Gaston will soon realize the same, and there’ll be a finale that makes us all cry buckets and ahhh suddenly I don’t want this show anymore

Highlights of things I’ve done to sims over the years:

  • (sims 1) made an entire family but I was very young and didn’t know how to play so they all burned alive except for Aunt Vivian who lived out the rest of her life traumatized and miserable. Her pet cat later walked directly into the fireplace and she got so upset she was completely unplayable.
  • (sims 1) Made a cat lady sim who died from being scared by a ghost. The cats kept the household alive and there was a maid who fed them so they continuously bred and made it through several generations, effectively giving me an all cat household.
  • (sims 1) the game glitched and my sim refused to put clothes on and was the complete naked model without the censoring. She went to work like this and there wasn’t a problem. She lived the rest of her days as a nudist.
  • (sims 2) made me and my friend on the sims and made us sisters. Our father was a satyr and our brother was named Tybalt. Forced Tybalt to do all our homework. Made our own boyfriends, mine was a dark elf named Benvolio. Flunked high school because Tybalt stopped doing our homework and we didn’t notice. Tybalt graduated fine and went on to have a family while my friend’s boyfriend dumped her and Benvolio died from a meteorite. Dad drowned.
  • (sims 2) modded the game so heavily that glitches happened constantly. Made a sim get engaged to a robber, but on their wedding day her fiance got glitched trying to throw something away. Deleted the trashcan. Guy was still glitched so I had to delete him. Bride was hysterical on her wedding day because her party was going terribly and her fiance wasn’t around. The party guests left but one dropped their baby on the sidewalk and left it, I couldn’t interact with the baby cause it wasn’t my sims’ baby. Sim gave birth to her fiance’s child. Trash began piling up in the house because I deleted the trashcan. Sim lost her mind trying to throw things away and refused to eat until she died from starvation. Nanny was over at the time she died so she was taking care of the baby and could now never leave because the mom wasn’t coming home. Nanny stripped down to her underwear for some reason and was having the same problems as the mom. Baby grew into a child raised by the nanny and had all sorts of personality problems because of how he was raised. Nanny died, child laughed. Child got taken away. 
  • (sims 3) made a lot into an island and put Lord of the Flies characters on it. All of them were having a good time but Simon kept trying to catch fish and crying. Their parental supervision was a businessman mummy who was pretty cool but Simon kept fighting him so I had to separate them.
  • (sims 3) Tried to kill literally everyone in town. Got about 80% done and the game broke because it was running out of npcs to run the stores and stuff
  • (sims 3) made a sim have babies with the clown ghost. There were triplets, 2 were human and 1 was a ghost. Ghost father and daughter constantly gave family heart attacks and eventually one of the human daughters died from being scared of her own sister’s existence.
  • (sims 3) built a murder lot that I used to play sadistic game show games with my sims. Whoever lived got consolation prizes like food or baths, whoever died had to spend eternity on the lot.
  • (sims 3) One of my sims randomly stole a fairy baby. He just picked it up at the park, ran, dropped it off at the public pool, and then drove home.
Bad Decisions (Grayson Dolan)

part three

part one, part two

Hopeless by Halsey ft. Cashmere Cat  (does anyone actually listen to these lol?)

Originally posted by punishmedolans

Grayson Dolan kissed me. 

I kissed Grayson Dolan. 

I couldn’t fight the smile on my face as I got ready for school. I looked in the mirror and decided to ditch the glasses for today. I put in my contacts and let my hair down for once. 

“trying to impress a certain school partner?” Mom asked from the doorway. 

“help me pick an outfit?” I asked inviting her in.

A silence grew between us as we shifted through my clothes. I knew what she was going to say next.

“sweetheart.” She started but I cut her off. 

“Mom we can’t keep doing this.” I said. 

“I just never want to see you as hurt as I did after the James incident.” She said sitting on my bed. 

I hated when she said his name. James was a boy who tricked me in to thinking he liked me but in all reality it was just a sick cruel joke. He made me confess my feelings for him and then made me the laughing stock of the school. It was horrible. I didn’t want to go anywhere. All I did was cry. I was utterly embarrassed and felt so stupid. I had a hard time trusting people now because of it. That explains why I only had one friend. 

“Grayson isn’t like that okay.” I said but I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince her or myself. 

“I mean he just has you know that same look that James did.” She said tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

James was out of my league too. 

“can we please not do this anymore.” I asked as a tear rolled down my cheek.

My mom was quick to wipe it away.

“alright then we won’t. Come on, I’ll help you fix your makeup.” She said dragging me to the bathroom. 

Mom and I quickly did my makeup, not too much but just a little. I smiled as I looked at myself in the mirror, running a hand through my hair.

Originally posted by dedicatedtoagirlgroup

I never was one of those girls who had a lot of self-confidence. It was hard to find the beauty in myself but with Grayson it was easy.

“you look beautiful.” My mom said giving me a kiss on the cheek. 

“thanks Mom.” I said giving her a hug. 

I grabbed Sophia’s hand walking her to school. 

“sissy is Grayson your boyfriend?” she asked looking up at me.

“No Sophia he isn’t.” I said squeezing her tiny hand. 

“Is he going to be your boyfriend?” She asked giggling.

“why do you like him?” I asked her giggling with her. 

“do you?” She countered. 

She was smart for her age, and incredibly inquisitive. 

“well Soph, it looks like we’re at your school.” I said laughing. 

I could tell this wasn’t the end of her questioning but for now it was avoided. I gave her a hug goodbye before continuing on my way to school. I was smiling like an idiot at the thought of seeing Grayson. I barely got any sleep, cause all I could think about was the kiss. I walked in to school to see Ariana waiting for me.

“why are you all smiles? Also what happened to my nerdy bestfriend” She asked wrapping an arm around my shoulders. 

“I sort of uh kissed Grayson last night.” I said feeling a blush creep up on my cheeks. 

“YOU DID WHAT!” She shouted causing eyes to go on us.

“geez Ari calm down!” I said laughing a little. 

“You can’t just tell me you kissed the hottest, most popular boy in school and then expect me to stay calm! How was it? Was he a good kisser? Did he kiss you first? Did he use tongue?” She said bombarding me with questions. 

“girl slow down. It was good, he was a good kisser, yes he kissed me and no he didn’t use tongue. Any other questions?” I asked laughing. 

“I can’t believe this is happening to us!” She exclaimed.

“To us?” I questioned laughing.

“look I’m your bestfriend and when something good happens to you, it also happens to me!” She said 

I rolled my eyes laughing before walking to history with her right on my tail. We took our normal seats at the front of the room. I looked around for Grayson but I didn’t see him come in yet. 

“I hope you all got a solid idea for your projects because it will be a large part of your grade.” Mrs. Hall said as she prepared for class. 

“yeah why else do you think Grayson paired up with the loser.” I heard a girl say and some other girls snicker. 

I turned around giving the group of girls a dirty look. 

“you didn’t actually think he liked you did you?” One of the girls said laughing. 

“please he just wants a good grade.” Another girl said. 

“you guys have no idea what you’re talking about.” I said trying not to let them bother me. 

“awh do you have a crush?” the girls joked. 

“think about it sweetheart, you’re not on his level. He’s missed a lot of school so he’s falling behind in classes. You’re smart, he needs a good grade. Hate to be the one to break it to you but he’s just using you for a grade. Plus we all remember the James situation.” A girl said high fiving her friends.

I turned back around not wanting to pay them any more attention. Could he really be using me? It was funny how he never talked to me before asking me to be partners for the project. Then I suddenly remembered what he said in the library the other day.

“since when do you care about grade?” I asked him laughing.

“since I skipped too much school and now I’m doomed to repeat this grade unless I get good grades for the rest of the year.” He said. 

He was using me. I was stupid for letting him. He walked in the room with his usual posse but instead of sitting in the back he took the seat next to me. 

“hey school partner.” He said smiling. 

I ignored him though. He must’ve thought I was stupid. 

“you look pretty today, how are you.” He said looking at me.

Again I said nothing. 

“what’s wrong what did I do?” He asked putting a hand on my arm but I shrugged it off. 

I was thankful when Mrs.Hall started to teach the class. I was writing in my notebook when there was a paper put in front of me. It was a note from Grayson.

Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Did you not want me to kiss you?

He had scribbled down on the paper. That was the problem, I did want him to kiss me but clearly it was just pretend. I crumpled up the paper throwing it on the floor. Grayson didn’t attempt to talk to me for the rest of the class but I could see his eyes scan my face throughout the class. As soon as the bell rang I was quick to grab my stuff and run out the door, but I wasn’t fast enough. Grayson caught my arm before pulling me in to an empty classroom and closing the door.

“okay what is wrong with you?” He said. 

I tried to leave but he put it a hand on the door preventing me from leaving. He was breathing down my back making me even more nervous. 

“let me go please.” I said my voice shaking.

“no, not until you tell me what I did wrong.” He said his voice low.

I turned around so I was facing him again. Our bodies were extremely close to each other making me nervous. 

“You don’t have to pretend anymore.” I said my eyes darting to the floor. 

“what are you talking about?” He said confused. 

“You don’t have to pretend you like me okay.” I said looking him in the eyes. 

“pretend? I’m not pretending anything?” Grayson defended. 

“Look I get it you need a good grade but pretending to like me is not the way to get it Grayson.” I growled. 

“You think I’m pretending to like you to get a good grade?” He said looking in my eyes. 

“you didn’t talk to me until you asked me to be your partner for this stupid project!” I said.

“I was too nervous too, believe it or not Y/N I have feelings and I get nervous to talk to the girl I like.” He said his jaw clenching.

“Grayson I can’t do this again.” I said feeling a tear roll down my cheek. 

“do what again? why is it so hard for you to accept that someone may actually have genuine feelings for you?” He said looking in my eyes.

“people like you don’t have feelings for people like me.” I said letting the tears fall down my cheeks.

“well I do.” He said putting a hand on my cheek. 

He leaned in slowly his nose touching mine. I think he was trying to ask permission to kiss me, and I didn’t stop him. 

part four? share for part four!

After an emotional night of crying and thinking, I wanted to just acknowledge how much Jonghyun has done for us fans. No matter what fandom you think you belong to, SHINee has always been a group that all fans have loved and respected. The loss of Jonghyun has not only brought us grief, but has also brought many of us to the realisation as to how hard an idols job is and how their feelings, can be buried under everything. So please love and support all idols because after all, they are all humans.

Although I never knew him personally, Jonghyun made me laugh with his humor, and cry with his emotional lyrics and music. He inspired me to open up to my community about my music and there’s no doubt he has done the same for others.

I hope Shawols, the SHINee members, SM and Jonghyun’s family and friends are all doing well in this time of hardship. 

I cannot imagine what he went through. But after this news, I want to say that if you are feeling stressed or depressed, please talk to someone. Sometimes talking it through can make you feel better, so don’t be afraid to open up. My messages are open 24/7, so feel free to talk to me. I’ll always be here for you.

Thank you for everything, Jonghyun

  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: it's 1:59am and i'm literally lying in bed thinking about the umbrella scene and how important it is to the entire existence of the characters and relationships in this show. it is so symbolic of the connection between adrien and marinette and even though we've seen all different variations of their interactions throughout the entire season before that moment, nothing comes close to how significant and poignant this final scene is for these two characters. the shift in colors and atmosphere from the rest of the show in this one scene just emphasizes how important it is and the final line of the scene and episode and technically even season is literally "those two are meant for each other," tying everything up so perfectly that i have no words to describe how i feel about that final line. i also just stopped in the middle of this rant to watch the scene for the 30th time and i'm overwhelmed by how beautiful it is, from adrien's laugh to marinette's sigh to the amazing soundtrack in the background. but most importantly i am so happy that above all else, this scene establishes the friendship between adrien and marinette and how important it is to adrien especially. every time i watch this scene i feel so content and so satisfied and so blessed. we are so blessed to be living in the same lifetime as this scene. we are so blessed