i was kind of tempted to do this so why not

Here is 10 things I tell my students on the first day of class about building yourself up into being a artist. This is starting point, not a all encompassing list. Hope you find it helpful!

1. Never stop experimenting. When you stop trying new things your style will get stagnant. Developing your style never has an stopping point, you’re going to continue learning and changing–that is a good thing.

2. Don’t draw to please a particular person or audience. It is tempting to draw something you think the person viewing it will like. It starts with drawing to please a friend/family member, then a teacher, and then a wider audience online or in person. However, consider drawing to please yourself first, an audience will follow in time and you will face a lot less burn out down the line. You’ll be hired for this, work you made out of something you liked crafting–not something you forced yourself to craft. Don’t make art that makes you miserable.

3. Learn the basics. Get good at anatomy (human and animal), perspective, creating depth, lighting, etc–then break the rules you’ve learned. Work, no matter how abstract, pushed, and pulled is always stronger when informed by a mastery of the basics.

4. Practice working in ways that do not hurt your hand. Learn to draw with a relaxed hand and draw in long strokes. Both of these methods help prevent issues with your hand, wrist, and arm. I’ve never gotten carpal tunnel, and I draw on a daily basis, because I have learned how to treat my hand well. Your hand is your tool, if you wear it out there isn’t a new one you can just pick up. The best treatment for any possible physical issues is prevention.

5. Learn how to draw without erasing. It is scary and it is tough no doubt! However the best way to become more confident is through not erasing. There is a medium for everyone to try this out, whether it is pen or non-erasing colored pencils. If you want to ease yourself into this method try out Pentel red lead, it erases a bit–but overall will always leave a mark with every stroke you make. The importance of this is learning to not be afraid of mistakes.

6. Draw from life, from reference photos, and from imagination. This trio is important, combining all three is usually how you build great drawing skills. Drawing from life gives you the ability to capture small details that you’ll remember to put in when drawing from a reference photo, drawing from refs will give you the practice you’ll need to handle whatever subject so that one day you can draw it from your own imagination–see how that works?

7. You’re art isn’t completely unique and that is okay. I can’t emphasis how many people I know who have gotten so hung up on being something totally unique that they burn out fast and never make work again. Now, considering how much art is in the world there is no way that what you create will be 100% unique to you. That is fine, your personality in your work is more of what makes something yours than a “style”.

8. Figure out your work’s personality. On that note finding the personality of your art is important as you go into trying to build your own place in the art world. The personality of a piece is a combination of style, subject, color, shapes, lines, and maybe most important themes (yes subject and themes are different). This combo is what makes your art special. At a loss for where to start figuring out your own personality? Compile a list of 10 artists you love. Why do you love them? Is it the shapes of one artist that speak to you, the line work of another is beautiful, the themes of a third make you feel inspired? Now take the 10 things you love about those 10 artists and start applying them to your own work. This isn’t about copying these artists, it is about the inspiration. That line work you love in another artist’s piece is gunna look different in yours for example. Those themes from another artist, well when you take them on your life might inform them in a opposite way. In time your inspired work will evolve into something that is your own.

9. Talent is nice, persistence is more important. Someone may be naturally talented in some areas of art, however someone who is persistent in their craft is so much more likely to succeed. Effort, continued growth, and practice will add up to so much more in the long run than just skating by on “talent”.

10. Be a good person. Treat others with respect, learn about social issues, don’t be a creep, and use your art to help people. And this might mean you craft a piece about an important issue that changes thousands of lives, or you might just be creating to help yourself get through the day. Both are important, after all you are a person too and you should always be trying to help and be kind to yourself.

Adding to canon is not the same thing as destroying canon

At San Diego Comic Con, we learned that Sonequa Martin-Green’s character, Michael Burnham, is Sarek’s adoptive daughter. The second I heard the news, all I could think was, “Let the hate begin.” And boy, did it ever.

I understand the disappointment, particularly with fan fic writers who invested a lot of time and effort into crafting stories that fit neatly into canon. Amazing how one sound bite can bulldoze right through decades of widely accepted fanon, huh?

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anonymous asked:

so, um. if you have any particular feelings about labyrinth--specifically Sarah--uh, go wild.

WILD PEACHES  [AO3]

.

The morning after Sarah Williams defeats the Goblin King, she gets up and makes toast. She has to brush some glitter off the toaster—it withers and vanishes at the brush of her fingertips, and she stares at her hand for a long time. 

It mostly just looks like her hand. Even when she turns it over, and sees where she scraped her knuckles against the oubliette, where the shattered mirror cut the back of her wrist. It looks like she fell, or was playing in the street. That’s all.

The toast comes out burned, and Sarah stares at that too. Eventually, she slumps down against the cabinets and cries, wracking sobs that send her dad and Karen rushing into kitchen. They check her forehead for a fever, put their hands on her, and keep asking, “Are you okay? Sarah, please, tell us what’s wrong…”

Eventually, her dad drags her into his lap and cradles her against his chest, like he did when she was little. Her legs are too long to really fit anymore, but Sarah hugs him around the neck anyway. “It’ll be okay,” he says, keeps saying. “You’ll be okay.” And Sarah—doesn’t laugh, because she can’t, and doesn’t have the words to express what—how—

(None of her stories ever talked about this. What did Sir George do, the morning after he slayed the last dragon in England? Did Tam Lin eat breakfast, or did he sit there, shivering, wondering if his hands were different, having been claws and wings and scales?)

Afterwards, she leaves the burnt toast outside on the back porch. Not an offering. Maybe a reminder.

.

It’s Didymus she sees the most often, mostly because he’s the one who invites himself rather than waiting for an invitation. He comes for tea, but even if there’s no tea—which there isn’t, usually—he comes to tell Sarah stories. She learns to love poetry because there’s no escaping it with him. (She won’t read Idylls of the King until Brit Lit in college, but she ends up scrawling a lot in the margins; Didymus’ telling of events had been much more interesting.)

Once, she falls asleep like that, her hands tucked behind her head with Didymus curled up and sleepily reciting from the crook of her elbow. “So tender was her voice, so fair her face—though I don’t think he was looking at her face, my lady, pardon me for saying so—”

Sarah buries her nose in his fur. Didymus always smells of rosewater, and a crispness she thinks is just…the Labyrinth. She falls asleep trying to place it.

She wakes up with a wild fox in her bed, animal-black eyes frightened and flat, teeth bared. The fox is whining, and she’s tempted to throw herself across the room, to get away from this wild thing and its teeth. It takes a monumental will to keep herself still and her breathing slow, even; like she’s still asleep and unafraid. 

It takes her longer to swallow, and start humming one of the songs he taught her—a knight’s round, he’d said. She’s shaky at first, but the fox’s ears flick forward. It cocks its head, and slowly, the teeth disappear behind its lips. 

She almost laughs when noses at her throat curiously, butting its head against her jaw like a cat might.

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Sexting (Jimin smut)

Originally posted by minblush


Summary: On a lonely night, you decide to sign up for an anonymous sexting site. Of course you are matched with the notorious fuckboy you’re constantly trying to avoid. Park fucking Jimin.

Themes: Sexting, Fuckboy Jimin, College AU.

Pairing: You x Jimin

Word Count: 4k

This fic contains: Explicit and graphic depictions of smut, sex over the phone, swearing. 


ENTER USERNAME:

Cleopatra123

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

Male/Female

WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

I’d rather not say/enter here:

WHAT ARE YOU INTERESTED IN?

Decent conversation/making friends/finding a language buddy/other

PLEASE INDICATE YOUR AGE PREFERANCE:

19-24

CLICK ‘CHAT’ TO BE MATCHED WITH A PARTNER!

YOU HAVE BEEN MATCHED WITH ‘THOR562’.

THOR562: 21 years old- Seoul, South Korea- also interested in ‘other’.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHAT?

Yes/No

YOU ARE NOW IN A CHAT WITH THOR562, ENJOY!


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Writing Antagonists: (Aka, Your Villains and Bad Guys)

The antagonist is often either one of the most fun things to write, or the most dreaded. But either way, they are a key element of the story, and that cannot be ignored. So, let’s talk about how to make a really great antagonist.

You may have in the past met a writer or teacher or whomever who insists on using the words “protagonist and antagonist” over words like “hero and villain.” Personally, I am not so stingy about it, I feel that I know what you mean anyway so it doesn’t really matter- what there is a legitimate reason as to why you should at least try to think of your villain as your antagonist instead.

And that reason is connotation. Well, denotation too, really- villain and antagonist aren’t completely the same thing, but I’m bringing it down to connotation. 

Simply said, when you think of the word “villain”, you’ll think something like “that’s the bad guy in the story.” And when you think of the “antagonist”, you probably think “that’s a fancy word for villain, aka the bad guy in the story.”

But antagonist isn’t just a fancy word. It’s a fancy concept. It means “the guy that opposes the good guy.” That can be on any argument or view. When writing your antagonist is to remember that nothing is black/white, good/bad thinking, and that includes your antagonist.

Let’s map out the steps to making a complex villain- aka, an antagonist.

First, remember that your antagonist (usually) is a person, just like your protagonist. It might help to develop them outside of their intentions first, and put a person to the upcoming reputation.

Background:

Chances are, your antagonist didn’t just rise up out of the ground ready to kill. They came from somewhere. Your readers don’t even have to know everything about your antag’s backstory, but you do, if you want to really understand them. It often holds the key reason as to why your antagonist is where they are. The drive behind anger, revenge, change, or pleasing someone else can come from the events in their background.

Why do they hold the beliefs they hold? Were they raised that way? Were they taught by some mentor figure? Were they cover from a reality they couldn’t bear? Are they trying to please someone, or get revenge on someone who displeased them? The answer should be in their background.

Motives/Beliefs:

Remember, every villain is a hero in their own mind. They believe that what they are doing is necessary, even if they recognize that it is unpleasant. What are they fighting for? Why does it matter to them so much, that they are willing to overlook all the harm they do?

“The Greater Good”: This is one of the more common and understandable villain motives. They believe that what they are doing now is paving the way to a better future. But keep in mind that what your antag views as a “better future” may be very, very different than the average opinion. Maybe a “better future” for them is a genocidal purge or the world ending in flames. Who knows.

That’s not the only type of motive. Be creative. Work with the information you established in your character’s background to find the most reasonable motive.

Tipping Point:

This is going to be related to your background and motive in an interesting way. Think of your antagonist as a character who has already completed their Character Arc and reached a negative end. Look at the points of change on the character arc- the ones that push your character farther down their path. What are those events? Those are the tipping points that prompted your character towards becoming they way they are now- those key moments where your character had a choice, and they chose to become bitter, hateful, vengeful, cold, or other negative things.

These could be the deaths of loved ones, the promptings of a mentor, or a moment of injustice that made them realize that the world isn’t always kind.

Personality/Actions:

This is the part where you develop them outside of their intentions. How do they behave? 

It’s tempting to just say that your villain is a villain because they torture and kill people. But those are not the only things that make a villain a scary or serious threat. Some characters might jump to violence easier than others. Some might be more into psychological torment. Some might actually seem really charming or persuasive, which is frightening in it’s own way- they might actually be tricky enough to confuse you into making bad decisions on your own. Think about your character’s background again. What makes the most sense for them as a person?

Presentation:

This is how your antagonist comes across to others. Keep in mind that your reader and your other characters don’t know your antagonist like you do. How does this person present to the world? 

-Are they open to discussion/negotiation?

-Are they open about their intentions?

-How quick are they to violence?

-What are their methods of war?

-When you meet them, are they charismatic, quiet, charming, vulgar? Do they have a sense of humor, or are they stoic?

-Do they seem to enjoy what they are doing, or do they express regrets even as they do it?

Moral Complexity:

What are they willing to do to achieve their goals? Do they have weaknesses in their personal lives?

1. Do they have noble ends behind their controversial means?

2. Is there a line even they won’t cross?

3. Do they have someone/something that they care about?

4. Do they prefer to do the killing/torturing etc themselves or do they just give the order?

Remember that if your antagonist does have any of these moral weaknesses, they are not going to want to show it. One has to keep up intimidating appearances, after all. 

Speaking of appearances…

Appearance:

This part is here to tell you what not to do. There are certain appearances that are getting really old with villains.

1. Dressing in all black. Why do they even do that? It’s time to stop associating black with “bad” and white with “good”. It just isn’t like that, so stop making villains all dark and stuff.

2. Scars. I think scars are pretty cool, don’t get me wrong. But if there is no relevant reason for it to be there, don’t talk about it all the time. That goes for all characters, not just villains. Like the color black, scars are not just a villain thing. Everyone has them. Don’t associate them with “bad.”

3. Sexy. I get the idea that making a villain attractive makes them harder to hate, but that can be kind of a cop out of actual complexity. Again, if there is no legitimate reason to make your villain sexy, then don’t. It’s not necessary.

4. Ugly. I hesitate to call any traits inherently ugly, but if you’re striving to make your character unpleasant looking just because they’re bad, then once again, you are associating feature=evil, which is not creative at best and seriously socially harmful at worst. 

Basically, your villains should be just as diverse as anyone else. You don’t need stereotypes to make them scary. Sometimes it’s scarier than anything else to just have an average person. It sort of adds to the idea that anyone could be a villain. And that’s pretty frightening.

Key Point:

- Complicate your villains. They’re not just Evil McEvilpants. 

That’s it for now, but like anything else in writing, antagonists have a lot of possibility and exceptions. But that was your basic rundown on the things to consider when making a complicated antagonist. 

~Penemue

Rivals

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Taehyung

Rating: 18+ (explicit sex, biting / growling / thigh riding / overstimulation - ENJOY)

Word Count: 3,557

Summary: Taehyung is your biggest competition in the workplace. Everything he does just makes you want to scream. HAPPY BIRTHDAY @rudeboywonho , as part of your week of pain fun. 

Originally posted by jeonstyle

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⇁plums & melons | 02

Originally posted by parkejimins

pairing⇁Jimin x Reader

genre⇁drama, smut || brother’s best friend!au

warnings⇁public indecency, masturbation, dry humping, jungkook, things that shouldn’t happen in a closet, a brief mention of tentacle porn;;

word count⇁7.2k

The long time running game between you and your brother’s best friend started when you noticed his fascination with boobs—yours specifically. It was never supposed to amount to more than harmless flirting and lingering glances, but now, one year later, Jimin was ready to change that.

alternatively: Jimin and you play a game. the loser is fucked. metaphorically. literally. all the above??

01 || 02 

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Little White

(Thank you very much @sawthatwink ! I hope you like it  ❤)


Harry was walking back to the Gryffindor tower when he saw it, a corn snake, the thickest part of it was about as round as his thumb and it was only about a foot long. It was pale almost white, an albino, but the pale yellow-orange markings along it’s back had been charmed to a vibrant green.

Harry glanced around for the owner but the hallway was empty, there wasn’t even the sound of retreating footsteps.

He dropped into a crouch next to the snake doggedly slithering along the stones and hissed a quiet greeting, “Hello, little one, are you lost?

The snake lifted its head, looking as startled as a snake can to be talked to by a human. The snake seemed to think a great while before she answered in a prim tone, “No. I am certain of my way but I am cold. I would warm myself with your heat.

Harry held out his hand and the little snake slid into it, her small little body was chilled from the stone floor. He stood and leaned back against the wall, cupping the snake in both hands, “Where are you going?” he asked.

The snake flicked her tongue, “You would know my business without even asking my name or offering your own? Are all humans so rude?”

Harry blinked and then grinned, “No, just me probably,” he hissed apologetically, “May I ask what your name is?

You may,” the snake said bobbing her head slightly in something like a nod, “Among my own I was known as Little White. My human calls me something like Morning, it is not a name I recognize or could pronounce in the proper tongue.

A pleasure to meet you, Little White. I am Harry Potter but you may call me what you like,” Harry said.

Little White raised her head higher, turning her head this way and that to get a better look at him.

Would you like any help?” Harry asked again now that the introductions were complete.

Little White flicked her tongue out furiously, “It appears I require no more help as it was you I was looking for, Hairy Pot-Maker.”

Harry winced, he really did not like the literal representation of his name in parsel tongue.

I was headed to your nest,” Little White said, “I thought perhaps I could do something, as hopeless as it is to try and do anything with most of your kind. You are all intolerably stupid. I am pleased to know you can at least manage the true tongue.

Thank you?” Harry said, grinning in something between amusement and disbelief at this little snake’s cheek.

Little White regally dipped her head again, “You are most welcome, Hairy Pot-Maker.

Harry winced again, “I would rather you didn’t call me that. Really, anything else would be better.

Then should I call you raven-locked or emerald eye or perhaps hearts-desire?” Little White asked archly.

What?” Harry blinked in surprise.

Little White shifted in his palms to a spot with more warmth, “My human calls you those things, amongst others in the silence of his den. I do not understand ‘love’ and 'desire’. It makes little sense to me. A snake seeks the company of other snakes only to mate and then they separate. Yet you humans seem drawn to one another often.” she cocked her head slightly, “Perhaps it is your warmth, I can understand that. Human warmth is very desirable, a pair of humans might share warmth together.

“…So you wanted to help your human?” Harry asked, feeling a little flushed that someone, a Slytherin someone, had a crush on him.

Yes. He is heart-sick for wanting you yet he will not speak his desire. He believes you would be opposed, to the point of anger or even violence.” Little White said, watching him intently.

I wouldn’t do that,” Harry hurriedly assure her.

I believe this of you,” Little White said, thoroughly unimpressed with him, “Despite his wanting of you I find it unlikely that you are worthy. My human is very warm and provides fine mice for me. He calls me beautiful. I would not share his warmth.

Harry’s brow furrowed, “but weren’t you coming to try and help him?

I have changed my mind,” Little White said. “Put me down.

I could take you back to him?” Harry offered, mostly out of politeness.

Little White turned her head away, “I would not have him look upon you, ever again.

Harry felt a little dumbstruck. He was about to kneel and put the little snake when he heard running footsteps and turned to look. Malfoy was running down the hallway, his robes flapping around him, his swept back hair falling down around his face. He had his wand in his hand, doing what appeared to be a point me spell.

Malfoy zeroed in on Harry and his cupped hands immediately and stomped over as if he wasn’t a flustered, faintly flushed mess, “Did you find a snake, a white snake with green markings?”

Harry silently lowered his hands so Malfoy could better see.

“Morgana!” Malfoy cried in relief, he reached out to take her and then pulled back as if he didn’t want to touch Harry.

Before Harry would have interpreted that action in an entirely different way. He felt a little dizzy.

Malfoy held his hand out, “My snake, if you please, Potter.”

Little White was flicking her tongue furiously at Harry, “You do not look at my human like that! I have decided and will not share!

Harry glanced down at her, feeling a smile on his lips. He looked back up, Malfoy was looking rather cute. He dropped his cupped hands onto Malfoy’s warm palm, letting Little White slip down and wrap around securely around Malfoy’s wrist. Harry curled one hand around Malfoy’s tracing his fingers over the back of Malfoy’s hand. He watched Malfoy’s face flush faintly, a shiver going through his hand, the rest of him seemed to be frozen in place.

Harry said, “I was was thinking-”

Little White lunged out, biting Harry’s thumb.

Harry jerked his hand back, mostly out of shock. The little snake couldn’t really hurt him.

She pulled back, her body still raised high in warning, “I said No!

“Morgana! Why did you-! Don’t do that!” Malfoy hissed looking a little panicked and telling Harry, “She’s never done that before. You must have just startled her.”

“I’m sure,” Harry said glaring at her. He smiled at Malfoy, “As I was going to say, do you want to go out sometime?”

Malfoy flushed even pinker, “What?”

“On a date,” Harry said, tempted to reach out and touch Malfoy again but deciding against it, “I thought maybe we could share some warmth together.”

Malfoy searched his expression and then hesitantly nodded.

Little White muttered, “I’m going to shit in your shoes.

Everything Has Changed (Part Three)

Summary: In which everything changes when you discover Bucky’s true feelings for you in a very unconventional manner.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,540

Part Two

Originally posted by numbmimz

“Y/N?” A knock at the door accompanies the voice that just spoke, bringing a smile to your face. It’s a welcome distraction from staring at the wall, which you’ve been doing for four hours straight. There’s not much to do when you’re not allowed out of your bed. “Are you awake?”

“Come in,” you call back, propping yourself up against a few pillows. It takes some effort and your body rebels against the movement, but you grit your teeth and swallow back your groans. All the aches and pain are worth it. They prove that you’re okay. That you, unlike Antoine, are still alive.

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procrastination masterpost

There are three important steps in erasing the possibility of procrastination. You are never going to be entirely free from it, as Netflix, video games, sitting around, eating, etc. are never not going to be a temptation. It is a cycle that repeats, but taking the time to develop some self-control is worth it. 

When you are about to work and feeling tempted to procrastinate, there are two things you need to do. The first is to look at this list and identify your procrastination trigger. Next, look through this post to find the solution! After that, during future projects, look at the bottom for procrastination prevention.

common procrastination triggers:

  • perfectionism
  • low energy
  • overwhelmed
  • difficult work
  • boring work
  • distracted

Below are step-by-step solutions, then prevention methods:

perfectionism

Sometimes this is one of the easiest to resolve if you can simply remind yourself of a few things before you begin. Do these things:

  • Whatever you’re doing, treat it as a rough draft. It doesn’t have to be perfect, because you can get the same quality of work by just getting it done and then editing it after.
  • Once you get in motion, you can stay in motion. The “eat the frog” method often backfires for perfectionists, as they often have trouble getting started—try beginning with a simple task, then working through the rest from hardest to easiest.

low energy

  • Take a power nap
  • Get some caffeine
  • Wash your face
  • Get a snack

Anything to make you feel refreshed, energized and ready to go, even if you are tired. Remind yourself that you’ve got this, and you can take a break when you are done. Waiting only increases stress and anxiety.

overwhelmed

  1. Break the task into pieces. If it is simply too much work to do in the time you have, see if you can delay some of it.
  2. Then make a detailed to-do list. Don’t leave anything out. If you are writing an essay, list that as the heading—- then add as sub-tasks the individual paragraphs, bibliography, etc.
  3. Now that you know what you have to do, you are likely to be calmer. Your path is laid out, all you need to do is prepare:
  4. Surroundings that are organized, clean and purposefully equipped lead to productivity. Take a moment to gather your needed items (pencil, notebooks, laptop, etc.), your chosen drink/snack, and anything else you may need. Place them on your desk or any other environment where you can work comfortably.
  5. Take a deep breath, and begin. You got this!

difficult work

If your work is too difficult for you to do immediately, this is likely for one of the following reasons:

  • There is too much work and you do not know where to begin.
  • You do not understand the content.
  • You do not know how to carry out the requirements of the task.

If you are hindered by the first in the list, go back to what to do if you are overwhelmed— the situation is similar.

If you do not understand the content, ask a friend or teacher/professor. If they are unavailable, consult google; Yahoo Answers, Mathway, Wikipedia, Youtube, Khan Academy, even the studyblr community, all are great resources if you lack an understanding of the material.

If you do not know how to do what you are expected to do (common with larger summative projects and papers), consult your teacher/professor. Read any material given to you that may contain instructions, suggestions, or ideas. If you still do not understand, look it up. Or ask a studyblr! My ask box is always open!

boring work

If the work is a lot of “busy work” that is repetitive and unchallenging, just remind yourself why you are doing it. And I don’t mean remind yourself “because my teacher made me do it”— I mean remind yourself why you are on this academic journey. Remind yourself why you started, give yourself some motivation. Then, suck it up, just work and you can get it done.

distracted

I am very easily distracted, so I have been through this. There are two options for people who are easily distracted:

  • Remove all possible temptation or opportunities to procrastinate, or:
  • Surround yourself with distraction.

The first option means a specific process— removing music, blocking websites, clearing your environment, getting rid of everything that could possibly take you away from your work for even a second.

The second option seems counter-intuitive, but I find that it works for me— it seems to force focus. Put on some music, turn on a fan, go in a crowded area (just don’t talk to anyone!), get a drink and a snack, anything. It’s kind of like an “eye of the hurricane” thing. And work hard, focus. You can do it.

other methods

  • If your problem is that you cannot work for a long time without a break, try the pomodoro method. Work for 25 minutes, then take a five minute break. After four pomodoros (25 working minutes, 5 break), take a longer break for 15-30 minutes. 
  • If you just feel like you’re not in a “working mood,” get the ball rolling with a smaller task. Put on some video game music to focus and get into a flow. 

preventing procrastination

  • Remind yourself that you deserve a break— after you get your work done.
  • Remind yourself why you are doing this work.
  • Remember that you have done things that have been more difficult.
  • You got this! I believe in you!
Teacher (M)

Plot: Maybe asking your Korean teacher for help wasn’t such a bad idea. Good grades weren’t the only thing you were going to achieve from that.

Pairing: Teacher! Jung Hoseok x Student! reader

Genre: Smut

Warnings: Oral (receiving), Moaning denial, just full-on hardcore Jung Hoseok the sexy beast

Note: This is probably the first time I’m actually posting smut. It took me quite a while to write, considering it was very long, and I need to be in a certain mood for it. Thank you to my friend for giving me this idea. Please forgive me if there are any errors, english isn’t my first language. 3657 Words

P.S. You are 19 in this, and Hoseok is 25. I do not support all that underage sex stuff. Everything here is legal (wrong – please don’t fuck your teacher no matter how hot he is – but legal).

Korean Literature was probably your least favorite subject. You hated just everything about it – well – excluding the teacher. He always greeted you with a smile, asked you if you wanted help. You were the only foreigner in the class, after all. He gave you so much special attention, and you wouldn’t mind it at all. Unfortunately, that didn’t change your view on the subject. No matter how hard you tried, you always got a low grade.

“Okay students, remember we have a test on the new poem this Friday,” His voice echoed through your ears, breaking you out of your trance.

There was a solemn look on your face, while you stared out the window. Your eyes stayed on the uniformed kids flooding out of the school gates, while your nail dug under the staple holding your latest spelling test together.

5 out of 10. It was better than the last one.

No matter how bad it got, you always had this urge to try. You always wanted to keep studying for a higher score, but you just never seemed to understand everything that was thrown at you. It was like everything registered into your brain, but it never stayed – it disappeared, unlike your determination to do well.

As your eyes flickered over to the teacher, a nervous feeling settled in your chest. You now stayed after school for that exact reason. A few days ago, Hoseok had offered to help tutor you for an hour everyday until the test. It had been at least a week since he started, and you could safely say that you were getting better.

“Are you ready to start?” 

“Yeah.”

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Angel in the Darkness (M) pt.7

Originally posted by aestheticvbts

Summary: After a patient urgently pleads you to go and help a friend of his, you naively agree to it. Little did you know, that you would get more than what you agreed to, when he leads you to a brothel, to help a dangerous prostitute named Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (ft. Jin, but not romantically)

Genre: Smut (M), angst, mafia!au, prostitution!au

A/N:This is a dark and filthy story! Graphic descriptions of sex (masturbating, etc), heavy dom/sub undertones, drug use, vulgar language use……(alot of smut comes in later) This is a mature read! You have been warned!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8



The air conditioning caused the dimly lit room to be abnormally cold, as Jin slightly shivered. He was sitting with his hands forming fists, while his father gave him a stern look.

He didn’t want to be here, that was for sure. He knew his father must have started to become suspicious of him, since it was taking an unusually long time for him to locate Jungkook and you. So when he got another message that his father wanted to see him – he couldn’t stop shaking.

What was he supposed to say? He couldn’t keep lying and give his father the same answer of ‘they are close.’ No, that definitely wouldn’t work this time, as he could tell with the look his father currently gave him.

“Son,” his father spoke with a grim voice. “How stupid do you think I am?”

Even though Jin was nervous, he managed to pull off his infamous poker face as he replied, “What ever do you mean?”

“Save your lies for someone else Jin,” the greying man mocked. “You may be able to fool others, but certainly not me. Now tell me where they are. Now.”

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ultimate back to school masterpost

it has come…the witching hour…the time of doom is now upon us…okay so obviously ignore me, i’m a huge nerd. but if you’re like me, going back to school is a terrible, nerve-wracking experience. so here are some tips to help you survive this.

1. Do. Your. Summer. Work. If you haven’t started on it now, turn off whatever device you’re reading this on and start working. Many teachers will test you on whatever summer work you were assigned, and occasionally it can count for a significant portion of your first semester grade. Seriously, don’t put it off until the last minute, because then you really won’t want to do it. Plus, then you’ll have more time to focus on binge-watching Netflix uninterrupted. 

2. Whether you’re moving to an entirely new school or just a new grade, things will change this year in some way. You have to be ready for it. And you-yes, you-can be one of those things. It’s never too late to reinvent yourself. Want to dye your hair? Try a new extracurricular? Break a bad habit? Learn a new language? Go for it. 

3. Push yourself, but not at the expense of your mental health. No test or project is worth breaking down over. That being said, procrastination is the enemy of progress. You won’t do it later-and if you do, you won’t do it as well as you could have. 

4. Make time for your friends and yourself. Don’t let school take over your life. Self care and having fun are important too. 

5. Wherever you are, whenever you are, people are going to judge you. It’s how we’re wired-we’re a judgmental species. There’s really no point in worrying about how other people perceive you because you can’t please everyone. You could be an actual saint canonized by the pope AND cure cancer AND negotiate an armistice between the forces of good and the rabid radioactive alien wolves sworn to destroy all humanity and still some people are going to call you “bitchy,” “fake,” “weird,” “trying too hard,” et cetera, et cetera. Be unabashedly you. 

6. You are smart. Really really smart. So what if you don’t have perfect grades or the best ACT score? If you’re trying your best-really, really your best-no one can fault you for it. 

7. People who are confident in the knowledge of their own intelligence don’t: 

  • play the “grade game” i.e. “whadja get??? i’m sure you did great…seriously whadja get tho?? c’mon show me, i won’t tell anyone.” (u know these kids) 
  • loudly complain about getting an A minus/B plus when they know other people didn’t do as well as them
  • say they “didn’t study” every time there’s a test
  • cheat
  • lecture people when they didn’t ask for it
  • brag about their grades/scholarships/other opportunities 
  • compare themselves to/compete with other students constantly
  • condescend to others
  • talk about how much “busier” they are than other students all the time
  • put others down whenever they talk about successes (”i’ve won loads of those; it’s not that hard to do.” “you do know everyone who applied for science olympiad got in, right?”) *the last one someone actually said to me-and it was a blatant lie so double wtf?? 
  • lie about accomplishments when asked (just say you don’t want to talk about it its? not? that? hard?)
  • make fun of people who don’t do as well as you

Bottom line: Be honest with yourself-do you do any of these things? If so, why? The truth is, if you view your academic life as this crazy competition, you’re not going to have any fun, you’re going to lose friends over it, and people aren’t going to see you as a role model to emulate, they’re going to think you’re well…an arrogant, self-centered tool. Everyone loves that you care about school, and everyone can see that you’re really smart and driven. You have nothing to prove, and everything to lose. If you want to do well for yourself, that’s great. But if it’s all about one-upping other people, it’s not worth it. Like in writing, show, don’t tell, how competitive of a student you are. 

8. Good friends don’t: 

  • put you down
  • exclude you
  • stifle you 
  • use you as an emotional dumping ground 
  • stop supporting you 
  • tell people your secrets
  • gaslight you 
  • manipulate you 
  • make you feel unsafe
  • abuse you in any capacity
  • threaten to rescind their friendship for small offenses
  • make jokes that you find offensive 
  • ignore you/give you the silent treatment without telling you what’s wrong
  • pressure you into doing things you don’t want to
  • only hang out with you when their “best friends” aren’t around
  • talk about themselves all the time but never ask you about yourself
  • mooch off you 
  • stop talking to you for no reason
  • refuse to stick up for you when people are being jerks

Bottom line-if you feel like you come in second, if you feel like you’re the one that has to do all the work in the friendship, you have to ask yourself why you’re trying so hard. Having healthy friendships is as important as having healthy romantic relationships. Of course, there are degrees to how toxic friendships can be. I’ve been in some fairly awful ones that I had to cut off completely, but I’ve managed to reconnect with other people who I didn’t have good friendships with (i’m always careful never to get too close to those people though.) If you’re being abused or manipulated by a friend, you need to CUT THAT PERSON OFF. You deserve friends who treat you with respect. If your friends don’t, you’re better off alone (at least until you’ve found some real friends.) 

9. No significant other or crush is more important than your grades, your extracurriculars, or your mental health. If your relationship is taking over your life, take a step back and ask, “Where do I see this going?” Don’t waste time with people who don’t treat you right or people who aren’t interested. When the right person comes along (and they will!), you won’t have to feel nervous or awkward around them. 

10. Study smarter, not harder. Use abbreviations in your notes and find shortcuts to difficult math problems. Of course, do all your homework. It’ll cost you big time in the long run. 

11. Buy some clothes that you actually want to wear, and get rid of the ones that you hate. It’ll make getting up in the morning that much better if you feel confident about how you look. Dress for yourself-you are not “slutty” or “trying too hard” for wanting to look good. 

12. Find your textbooks online so you don’t have to lug them back and forth every day. Don’t wait to buy your supplies-buy them now so you can get good deals and won’t end up scouring every office supply store for that particular brand of pencil. 

13. Participate. Seriously. I didn’t realize what a difference this made until I got to high school. Even if you feel like you’re going to get the question wrong, even if you feel like you’re not smart enough to add anything interesting to the class discussion, say something. Not only does it make the teacher notice you-which in a big class is super important-it’ll show that you’re paying attention and that you want to learn. If you participate, teachers will be more likely to remember you and you’ll feel more confident about yourself, as well as less tempted to doze off or talk to your friends. Do this in all your classes-even the ones you’re not as good at-and you will see better grades-guaranteed (especially if they grade on participation). 

14. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You’re not stupid if you don’t understand something. If you can, ask someone to tutor you if you’re struggling. Ask the teacher for extra practice on what you struggle with. If no one is asking your question for you in class, you have to ask it yourself, otherwise you’re never going to learn. 

15. Hard test? Start studying 3-4 days in advance. One day review notes and material; the others do practice exercises or quiz yourself. If possible, study with friends-as long as they don’t distract you. Take 5-10 minute breaks in between sessions so you don’t burn out. 

16. Make a studying playlist and a motivational playlist. You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel about studying. Only do extracurriculars you actually enjoy-not ones you just do because you think it will look good on some application or the other. Don’t load up on these activities either or your grades will start to dip. 

17. Know the dates and times of any big standardized tests you’re taking (SAT, ACT, PSAT, AP tests, IB tests, IGSE, GCSE, SAT Subject Tests, etc.). Plan to start reviewing for these at least a month before the exam. (and a month before only if you know you’re really good at that kind of test-taking.)  

18. Edit your essays, once by yourself and once with a friend. Know the format your teacher wants so you don’t have to waste time googling “MLA in-text citation” every time you have an essay due. 

19. This may come as a surprise to you, but you are not the center of the universe. So before you go on long rants about how hard your life is, remember, you have no idea what the person you’re sitting next to might be going through. You are not the only person ever who’s had to juggle hard classes, extracurriculars, a job, and family problems at the same time. Other people are also struggling-what you’re going through is not more difficult or more meaningful than what anyone else is dealing with. This year, make a resolution to ask people questions about themselves, to listen to others, instead of making everything about you. You will be surprised at how much more people will trust you and how many more friends you will make. Also, guess what? Bad days happen to everyone-so stop taking out your frustrations on people that you care about. It’s petty, it’s stupid, it’s not fair, and it’s the quickest way to make your bad day a little worse. 

20. Regardless of whatever happens this year, you will graduate, you will get a job that makes you happy, and you will be a wonderful, intelligent, beautiful, successful human being. If you get nothing else out of this post, take this-don’t get yourself so taken in by that weird, hive-mind-toxic culture that school perpetuates that you lose the ability to deal with the people who are truly important to you. At the end of the day, you want to say that you came out of this school year a happier, wiser person than you entered it. 

A Lesson in Love (Confessions)

Summary: (College!AU) In which you’re assigned to write a story about romance, a subject you know nothing about, and Bucky, a hopeless romantic, offers you his assistance.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 3,178

A/N: The tag list for this story is officially CLOSED. Also, this is not the end of story.

“A Lesson in Love” Masterlist + Soundtrack

@avengerstories - The messages you sent me after editing this part let me know that I had successfully tugged on all of the right heartstrings, so thank you for that.

Originally posted by ditchthevillian

Whenever an uncomplicated task arises, people say it’s as easy to accomplish as breathing. The adage always made perfect sense to you whenever you heard it. Breathing is second nature. It can be done without having to think twice and, sometimes, it feels like certain tasks are the same way.

Today, that’s not the case. Standing here across from Bucky for the first time in weeks, you find that breathing is anything but easy. The air was knocked out of your lungs as soon as you stumbled upon the note he wrote on the canvas and you haven’t yet recovered. You have to keep reminding yourself to breathe, just breathe. But it’s hard. How are you supposed to remember to inhale and exhale in a moment like this?

“Are you going to say something?” You press, once the silence of the room becomes too unbearable. Your fingers curl tightly around the canvas as you wait for Bucky to speak. “Anything?”

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anonymous asked:

Can I request for bakugo, todoroki and eijiro with their s/o spending some fluffy cute time alone at home. How do they spend their relaxing home-date night with their s/o? Thank you very much.

Hi dear! Obviously you can, I was looking forward this. What a fantastic ask you sent! I really enjoyed writing those head canons for you! I’m feeling all giddy now and really, those boys are the best.

 I hope you enjoy it!

 

 

Bakugou

  • You can tell that is going to be a relaxing, home-date night in the exact moment you see him. Bakugou, at the thought, can’t stop himself from showing small happy grins when he thinks you’re not looking and tends to hum softly his favorite songs.
  • He cooks, as usual since he’s really good at it, but goes out of his way to ask what you would like to eat. During the dinner, he continuously glances at you, trying to not be seen, to understand if you really like what he cooked. Not that he doesn’t believe to your praises, but it feels more gratifying to just look at your shining eyes and delighted expression while eating.
  • Usually after dinner, you wash the dishes and clean the kitchen while he takes a shower. However, on those nights, Bakugou insists to do it together with some random excuses; one washes, the other dries and both of you enjoy the silent presence of the other or tell each other how the day went.
  • Afterwards, you have the tradition to watch a movie together, while eating snacks and sweets, sometimes feeding each other playfully. He likes to pull you closer and wrap an arm around your shoulders, while you rest against his chest.
  • And you really love movie’s night, but you would really like, for once, to see the film till the end. Unluckily, it seems something impossible: it doesn’t matter which type of movie you choose (you’ve tried action movies hoping he was going to get caught by the plot and explosions, and even romantic movie to bore him to the point of falling asleep) but it’s going to end always in the same way. Before the ending, if you’re lucky, (In the middle of it if you’ve pushed his switch), he starts distracting you by caressing your waist or your tight; then he nuzzles against the crook of your neck and leaves a trail of soft kisses on the skin from the cheeks to the shoulders. Finally, those kisses become playful bites; just to be sure he has your complete attention. And, let’s be honest, it doesn’t matter how much time passes, you are never going to have enough resistance to continue watching the movie.
  • The only times it doesn’t end like this, is when you had a tiring day and so, you fall asleep before he can start tempting you. In those cases, growling complains he just switches off the TV and picks you up in bridal style to carry you to the bed. As a pouty punishment, he leaves a big hikey on you neck while you’re sleeping.
  • When you two watch romantic movies, obviously thanks to your insistence and much to his boredom, you force him to repeat and act the cheesy lines the male protagonist says. The problem is that he changes the words so much and pronounces them in a so deadpanned, annoyed or incredulous way that it always ends up with you laughing to your heart content.

“Nobody in the whole world could ever divide us.”

“I’m going to fucking kill the first who tries to divide us.”

“You’re the star of my life, the hope of my existence and the light in the darkness that guides me.”

“You’re a freaking fizzy, glowing mass of matter that I seems to love and follow everywhere like an idiot for unknown motives…Oi, s/o stop laughing! It’s not my damn fault if they’re idiots! Why the hell a stupid, far away star? Don’t they know what a star is made of? Shit, this is dumb, not romantic. I would just kiss the hell out of you and end it there. I hope she breaks up with him.”

Kirishima

 

  • Home-date nights with Kirishima are the funniest; he really loves them and becomes happy and excited as a child, continuously surprising you with sudden pecks, lifting and spinning you in the air or hugging from behind.
  • The two of you start by trying to cook together, however your experiments doesn’t always end well, even because Kirishima can be very clumsy. So, if you don’ manage to save the dinner in time, the nearer pizzeria is now used to your sudden calls.
  • Washing the dishes includes poking each other with bubbling, wet sponges and splashing with water; no need to say that this can easily transform in real water battles. If this happens, you then have an excuse to enjoy a warm bath together. Nothing is better than relaxing and floating in Kirishima’s arms.
  • Then you always do something different; sometimes you play videogames, do session of crazy karaoke, play “have you ever…” with crazy challenges, watch matches or action movies on the TV or, your favorite, playfully wrestle on the bed.
  • You two are very competitive when you fight, armed with pillows, sheets and blankets, screaming and laughing loudly. The thing that you like the most is the fact the, in any case, Kirishima always treats you with the outmost carefulness and kindness. He pays a lot of attention to hit you lightly and not hurt you, controlling his force and being sure he’s not going to accidentally use his Quirk. Even when he has finally pinned you down on the mattress, (yeah, sorry but he usually wins), you can feel that the hold around your wrists is very light; firm, because he likes to win, but kind, no bruises are going to remain.
  • Well, once he has caught you, he reasonably decides to torture with tickle and stops only when you beg for it with tears in the eyes for the laughter. He then smoothers you with kisses.

“Ne, s/o who’s the stronger, manlier hero ever?”

  • You win only when you play dirty. A sudden kiss that makes him falter, puppy eyes that make him hesitate or faking being hurt (not seriously) to make him let down his guard. Obviously, using those techniques makes the battle ending with him kissing every inch of you too.

Todoroki

  • Nothing is more relaxing than a home-date night with Todoroki.
  • The two of you race to come back home earlier than the other to surprise them by cooking. This usually ends with both of you arriving at the same time and deciding to cook together.
  • However, Todoroki always buys you your favorite dessert and gives it to you at the end of the dinner as a surprise. Or sometimes a flower, a cute hairpin or everything else that during the week has caught his attention and reminded him of you.
  • Todoroki is a big cat. He doesn’t ask for cuddles, he just takes them when he feels the need. Without warning, he drapes himself over you and kisses you, or hugs you from behind nuzzling against your neck, or rest his head on your lap and “force” you to stroke his hair.
  • You usually just cuddle together, talking about everything. The week, something funny that happened, searching comfort if one of you is troubled or just telling something about yourselves. You two chat ‘till you start dozing and he picks you up or guides you by the hand to the bedroom.
  • Other times, you read together or Todoroki reads aloud for you. You also watch movies: you like to choose tragic or scary ones. In the first case he’s going to comfort you with a lots of cuddles and reassuring words; in the second, you can be as clingy as you want and he is going to repeat you that it doesn’t matter what is going to happen, is always going to protect you, so you don’t have to be scared. Moreover, his deadpanned expression even during the most scary scenes and the cold, filled with common sense and perplexed comments about what’s going on are amusing.

“Why she should open that door if she knows all the others are dead? Ah, she’s also without any weapon, she should have taken that baseball bat. I bet she’s going to die.”

  • Depending on the season, you curl against one or the other’s side of the boy, who finds it very amusing.
  • A bath together is a necessity. A long, warm, bubbly bath to relax and enjoy the intimacy.
  • When there’s the right weather, you take a blanket, some pillows and sweets, and exit on the balcony. There you sit down, Todoroki caging you between his legs and wrapping his arms around your waist, and you two look at the stars together, telling made-up stories about the constellations.
  • Todoroki always remembers to give you a goodnight kiss.
I Like You [Min Yoongi]

Warning: Contains smut. Do not read if you are underage.

A/N: This is very, very long. Grab a coffee, sit back and enjoy. Thank you to @katythekitty for your suggestions with the plot. I guess in a way this is kind of your requests? Idk. 


‘Y/n?’ Yoongi’s voice questions softly as you stretch across the floor of the dorm, arms reaching above your head to get into that tight spot in your lower back. His foot pokes out from his position on the low couch, gently nudging your thigh to roll you slightly on your side.

‘Mmm?’ You respond, the sleepy tone in your voice giving away the true nature of your state. The few cans of beer were sitting heavily in your stomach, a beverage that since your college days had always had you yawning before the night was over. Lazily, you flop on your side, scooting across the wooden panelled floors.

‘I was just checking you were still awake. It’s 2am and the movie finished. Want me to flag a taxi for you?’ You let out a slow whine, body wrapping around his feet to clutch his ankles tightly.

‘Why, you don’t want to hang out with me?,’ You pout, clinging to his legs like a small, fluffy koala. You could almost feel his body tense under your touch, an audible breath hissing through his teeth as your arms claw their way up his black denim jeans. ‘C’mon, Yoongyoong. I thought we were having fun. We are only two movies into this Harry Potter marathon… We’ve still got another 6 to go. Where’s your stamina?’ Your hands reach up to tickle behind his knees, before sitting upwards to envelop the entire lower half of his leg into a hug.

‘Fuck… you’re weird.’ His face was still flat, expression blank as he watches you crawl your way up his body, coming to sit comfortably next to him, lounging into the comfort of the soft black fabric of the long hoodie he had chosen to wear. Instinctively, your hands wrap around his waist, head placing itself in the crook between his shoulder and arm.

‘You love it, though, right?’ It takes a second, his body heaving with a deep sigh - the air of which dusts lightly across the crown of your head - before you feel his arm drop, grasping your shoulder and pulling you a little closer to him.

‘Not really.’ He responds just as flatly, a flicker of a smile lacing across his face so briefly you you wouldn’t have seen it if you weren’t trained in finding it. It’s the only evidence you have of what he was really saying.

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Do you want to play with us?

Originally posted by litourgiya

Pairing: IvarxReaderxHvitserk
Rating: Explicit
Words: 8587
Tagging: @inthenameofodin @tiyetiye @rockyrascal

Warning: Smut, dom/sub dynamic, cursing, hair pulling, rough sex, spitting, spanking, orgasm denial/delayed. (I suck at warning tags so if you think one needs to be added, please tell me.)

Notes: My first threesome and let me tell you it was hard to write! First time writing Hvitserk too, I hope it went well. Sorry for the length, I don’t know how this monstrosity ended with so many words but I hope it’s worth it. Thank you for your advice concerning it. Ivar and Hvitserk love each other in this (take notes Hirst). Again, sorry for any mistakes! Enjoy, sisters! 


King Ivar and his great army advanced through England quite easily, pillaging and killing every single person that stood on their way. Today was a great day for the King; he had won the ultimate battle that raged for almost four months. He had slaughtered the entire royal family without a second thought and had taken the praised crown of York. Soon, the news would spread, giving Ivar the fame he craved, the fame he deserved. For he was the most brutal yet the most worthy man you ever met. The kind of man you dreamt of but never could admit it out loud. It didn’t help that he was unfairly attractive. So attractive that even Balder, the most beautiful god in Asgard, would be jealous. 

You tried to fight the attraction you had for him but you couldn’t fight the feelings you felt in his presence. You couldn’t deny the wetness between your legs every time he roared one of his clever speeches, perched proudly upon his throne or his chariot. You couldn’t deny the dreams you had. Him above you, taking whatever he wanted from your willing and helpless body.

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Agents of SHIELD but it’s not as serious

so I love Agents of SHIELD don’t get me wrong but what if…there was a lighthearted show about SHIELD? Like agents who aren’t involved in all of the life-threatening missions?

“Oh god Cristina sent out another spam email about her lunch in the fourth floor breakroom fridge…someone stop her.” 

“Hey, what did Director Fury say during that speech? I spaced out after he mentioned percentages.” “Oh, same. I think it was about cutting back on the printer costs. Ask Coulson about it.” 

They tell all the newbies the urban legends that SHIELD has. Like the legend that Natasha Romanoff will protect you if you leave her three bottles of wine and a knife sharpener at her house. (No one knows where she lives, that’s the fun part of it.) Or the legend that Director Fury used to have hair. “No one has pictures, but they think that Coulson might have one,” one of the techies whispers. 

Maria Hill is a walking legend. She’s the Director’s righthand person, and for good reason. She can handle anything with absolutely zero reaction. (She comes into work covered in glitter one day, and no one questions it except for Barton. Hill responds that she was making a card for her niece. Everyone knows that that isn’t true, mainly because Maria used to live in the middle of nowhere, and she hates her family. True story.) 

The agents have a feud, like the scientists versus the fields. Only it’s much wider. The desk agents hate the field agents, because it’s like the sports vs. arts departments in school; the funding goes to sports (the field agents) while the art students get a budget, but it’s about enough to pay a pack of cheap paintbrushes and a gallon of paint. The desks’ biggest success to date is stealing the best coffee machine from the fields. 

There’s a trend started by Coulson after an agent was caught stealing extra staples, and he asked him “Do you think Captain America would think this is a good idea?” The trend starts because a.) everyone at SHIELD knew that Steve Rogers was a reckless idiot who jumped out of planes with no plan or parachute and b.) Coulson’s basically a dad. (Honest-to-god they had a company picnic and the man wore black socks with sandals.) 

And as for the company picnics??? don’t go if you can’t shoot. They have a paintball war. Last year Agent 13 couldn’t be found for six hours. It turns out she fell asleep in a tree. Barton won by not giving up. Fury grills burgers. They’re legendary. You do not want to trust whoever made the potato salad if there’s not a placard by it because almost every year the potato salad is bad in some way. 

There are SHIELD memes that get passed down through every generation. They have a phrase that basically means “don’t be stupid” but instead they say “don’t pull a Harrison” after an old agent accidentally let a serial killer get away by being distracted by a puppy. (it happens too often.) Melinda May is the starter of at least four, because she used to be this huge prankster. She even pranked Fury once. 

Secret Santas are legendary. You always want to participate. 

Everyone talks about the time Natasha Romanoff showed up to work in an insanely ugly Christmas sweater. Clint said he made it. No one was surprised. 

They have contests for who can give the best excuse as to why they didn’t do their paperwork. Maria Hill, surprisingly, is in the lead. 

“I accidentally went to Russia and left my paperwork in St. Peter’s Basilica,” she said boredly. “Whoops.”