i was howling oh my god

Since my sister has publicly come out as Ace, let me tell you the best joke she made:

So, last November, I was driving to Denver with my sister, when she told me she identified as Asexual and felt that I should know.  I think she was expecting me to ask a bunch of weird questions because she literally pulled out notes, but I got to be “Nah, it’s all good and I’m glad you feel safe enough to some out.” and since there wasn’t much more to say, we went back to swearing at the shitty drivers on I-25.

Two exits later, it occurred to me that I hadn’t actually seen my sister for a year prior and might have forgotten to come out to her when I was doing it last March.  “Just to be clear- you know I’m Bi, right?”

“OH MY GOD.” she howls, making me almost plow into a pickup in surprise.  “YOU’RE EITHER AND I’M NEITHER.”  

I had to pull over I started laughing to hard.

***

I bring this up because 1. She just publicly came out and 2. SHE MADE US MATCHING SHIRTS FOR THE NEXT PRIDE.  I LOVE IT.

Player Vs Player [m]

smut /// Knowning how much you love to play games, Minseok challenges to probably the competition of a lifetime. His mouth versus your will. Who will win?

“How long are you going to play that game?” You had your eyes glued to the screen but you could tell Minseok was at the doorway, watching you with a subtle glare.

“Uh…I’m ending soon.”

The uncertainty in your voice caused him to sigh. “You need to eat dinner.”

“I’ve eaten,” you said.

Keep reading

So you know that ‘Noctis Lucis’  literally means ‘Night Light’, right?

Imagine then, if you will:

  • It’s 2 AM, and it’s the first night in a week Ignis agreed to shell out money to stay in a hotel instead of enjoying the comfort of a nearby haven. 
  • And boy has it been a week.
  • Everyone has been tense. Gladio has been less chatty and more withdrawn, and Ignis has put on his Mum Pants™ extra tight, effectively driving all of them up a wall. 
  • As for Prompto and Noctis…things could be better. 
  • They fight. A lot. And it only gets worse the closer they get to Altissia. 
  • But the calm times between them are perfect, even if they are few and far between anymore. 
  • Noctis smiles, holds his hand, plays with his hair…
  • And Prompto loves it. He wouldn’t trade those moments for anything. 
  • Except for maybe not needing his glasses in the middle of the night.
  • Which wouldn’t be so bad if Noctis didn’t insist on sleeping by the nightstand where Prompto’s glasses were. 
  • Royal pain in the ass is more like it. 
  • So Prompto fidgets a few times before he groans because goddamn does he have to pee
  • He reaches over the sleeping Prince and fumbles for his glasses, which immediately tumble to the carpet with a soft thud, and Prompto sighs. 
  • “Hey, Noct.” He gently shakes his shoulder, which Noctis only responds to with a quiet “Hm?” 
  • “Can you turn on the night light? I dropped my glasses.” 
  • “You already have,” he says, followed immediately be Ignis.
  • “OH MY GOD.” 
  • And that is promptly followed up by Gladio snorting and howling with laughter into the pillow.
  • Prompto, bless his heart, is very confused when he feels Noctis shaking with laughter. 
  • “All right. I’m clearly missing something.” 
  • It’s Ignis who responds, and even he’s trying to mask his giggles as he sits up, looking in his and Noctis’s general direction. 
  • “The Latin, Noctis Lucis, translates verbatim to night light.”
  • Prompto nods. So what?
  • “Oh?” What could it hurt to humor him. It’s been a long week after all. He might appreciate it. 
  • But everyone is still laughing
  • And it hits him that Nocits’s name means ‘night light’ and he giggles a little himself. 
  • “Oh!” 
  • He looks down at Noctis who is looking up at him and he can see his eyes shining in the dark room and the light flush of pink on his cheeks.
  • And then he realizes that he’s been straddled in Noctis’s lap and shifting as he looks for his glasses.
  • “...OH.” 
  • But the sexual connotation is long forgotten because everyone is laughing now. And not just light giggles, but full on howling, guttural belly laughter. 
  • If he’s being honest, Prompto has missed it. A lot
  • Noctis wraps his arms around him and pulls him back to the bed, and Prompto whines between loud chuckles as he wiggles in his arms. 
  • “Noct, stop! I still have to pee!”
  • And it only makes them all laugh harder.

(As a note, and I really shouldn’t have to say this, but please ask my permission if you want to use these little bits for your own stories. I’d be more than happy to discuss it further with you if you want. I promise I’m actually very accommodating. Thank you.) 

REDDIE!DORMMATES

so i got asked to do a 2nd part to this fic, where eddie thinks his dorm-mate richie is homophobic but ohhh boy is he wrong

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

and here it is, part 2 which is the whole fiasco from richie’s POV!

this turned out way longer than i expected it would and now my fingers are cramping so i hope y’all like it 

warnings; cursing, mentions of nsfw stuff, homophobia (and the f-slur) 

Keep reading

Things my family has said but with Voltron #3

Lance: ugh, I’m full up of chips.

Shiro: all right. Do you want any more?

Lance: one more please.

-

*barking in the distance*

Shiro: *walks in* Keith is barking at the post man again.

Allura: so that’s what that was

-

*Allura and Shiro are sitting on the sofa*

*howling from upstairs*

Shiro: oh my god is that a dog?!

Allura: nope that’s Keith.

-

Lance: so what’s your favourite song?

Keith: who says by Selena Gomez

Lance: oh. I thought it’d be something, I don’t know, heavier?

Keith: Selena is a goddess

Lance: True

-

Hunk: IT IS MY TURN ON THE LAPTOP!

Pidge: NO IT ISNT ITS STILL MY TURN!

Hunk: YOUVE HAD IT FOR AN H O U R

Pidge and Hunk: A L L U R A!

-

Lance: I am officially dead inside, look I even have a badge! *holds up piece of paper with ‘officially dead inside’ written on it*

Shiro: can I have one?

-

*Pidge and Lance are playing that game where you have to try not to let the balloon touch the ground*

Pidge: LANCE GET IT!

Lance: *dive-bombs and misses*

Pidge: *looking down on him* you’re a disappointment.

-

Next one with be Friend Edition (my friends are insane but I love them)

Pick Up Lines (Spideypool Quick Fic)

So this… this got ridiculous lol
For my anon prompt: is that a phone in your back pocket because your ass is calling me

Peter is Andrew Garfield/ Wade is Ryan Reynolds
********************

“Hey did it hurt?”

“Huh?” Peter looked up from brushing the dirt off his suit to see Deadpool peering down at him from the fire escape in the dirty alley.

“Oh. Hey Wade. Did what hurt? Oh the–” he motioned to his dirty suit. “Just took a tumble through a construction yard chasing someone. No biggie.”

“No, I meant did it hurt when you fell from Heaven.” Wade corrected, leering at Spider-Man from behind his mask.

“Good grief.” Peter muttered and turned away. “Don’t you have anything better to do than spy on me and drop terrible pick up lines?”

Well.” Wade dropped onto the ground next to him. “I’d definitely have something better to do if you’d go out with me.”

“I told you no dates.” Peter said firmly. “My identity is very inportant to me, and you need to respect that. Besides–” and now he was grateful his mask covered his blush. “–besides you just like me because I’m covered in spandex.”

“I resent that!” Wade sounded horrified. “While I will admit to staring for hours at your…at your….” his head tilted to the side exaggeratedly, dropping to stare at Peter’s ass. “Sorry, what was I saying?”

“You were agreeing that we’d never date.” Peter said firmly, and shot a web towards the sky, shooting up and out of the alley before Deadpool could say anything else.

“Damn.” He chuckled and scratched at his head. “Spidey playing hard to get.”
*****************
Wade landed with a thump on the roof next to Peter and tossed him a chimi.

“Thank god.” Peter mumbled and shoved his mask up to just above his nose so he could eat. “Thank you so much.”

“No worries.” Wade lifted his own mask to take a bite of his food, and Peter made sure not to look. He didn’t ever look, knowing that if Wade thought for one second that he was staring, the mask would come down and this relaxed moment between them would end.

They were happening more and more– post patrol, both of them starving after a night of fighting crime. Wade usually disappeared for a few minutes and reappeared with food and they would sit and eat together before going their separate ways.

It was nice, for all of Wade’s bluster and bullshit, he actually enjoyed the early morning quiet like this. Both fully in their suits, both still coming down from the high of fighting… just hanging out watching the sun rise.

It was… nice.

And Peter wasn’t going to do anything to spoil it.

“Got you a name tag.” Wade said casually inbetween bites of food.

“What now?” Peter asked, confused.

“Got you a name tag.” Wade reached into the bag next to him and threw a giant handful of white packets in Peter’s face.

“What the–damn it Wade!” Peter pushed them off his legs. “Why are you throwing sugar at—”

Wade started laughing.

“Are you kidding me?” Peter finally asked and Wade laughed harder. “Are you kidding me with this?”

“Aw, come on sugar!” Wade made kissy faces at him and Peter just rolled his eyes.
**********************

Keep reading

fma fic idea:

ed literally CAN NOT deal with his brother stuck in a suit of armor for years and years it hurts him more than losing his limbs and automail ever could. he wishes over and over again that he could give his body to al - then he goes  LIGHTBULB and so during that year that he’s recovering he studies and studies and they all think it’s to get al’s body back but not quite.

and like 6 months in he’s like okay i think ive figured it out and he can kinda stand and walk around and what not so he’s like al cmere im going to try something. they’re all like ????? and ed tugs down his pants and on his hip is a scar. a very familiar, precise scar. ed had carved al’s seal into his flesh then let it heal and done it again again until it had scarred just like he’d wanted it to. winry screams and threatens to strangle him and ed is like ‘pls stop’ and al gets it then and if he could cry he would and he asks ed over and over again if he’s sure and ed just tells him to shut up, claps his hands together and presses them to al’s seal

then next thing he knows he’s staring down at himself and the first thing he says is “i am short” and is immediately horrified and the first thing al does is throw himself down on the ground to feel grass between his fingers and hugs winry to feel skin and now he is crying because he can

and so this is how they survive this, by sharing ed’s body between them. ed tried to say it should be 50/50 but al refused so ed is in his own body for 2 weeks then al is in it for 1 week and they don’t tell anyone because they’re not insane. and when ed’s sleeping weird places or eating a ton it’s actually usually al. their wildly different personalities would be a problem, except that they’re still children and like twins who switch places they get a giant kick out of it. al loves pretending to be loud and angry and having a fly away temper and it’s all ed can do to go chasing after al shouting ‘brother!’ trying to act disapproving but inside he is laughing so damn much

there’s no negative effects, nothing goes wrong. they don’t knows this, but it’s actually helping, because their souls gain a stronger connection and ed’s body spends a whole lot more time sleeping and eating then it would otherwise so al’s body is actually getting a reasonable-ish about of nutrients and sleep behind the gate. also every time ed switches their souls it’s like he’s renewing the seal so al’s soul never gets loose and isn’t going to be rejected form the armor.

then al remembers the gate and can do hands free alchemy, which is awesome, because now they can go into battle in each other’s bodies when before they always needed to hastily switch back otherwise people would start asking questions. it becomes something so easy and natural between them, and more than once ed’s been up late studying with his eyelids drooping, exhausted past the point of reason but unwilling to stop. and he just goes ‘al, come here, sleep for me so i can finish this book’ an al loves sleeping so he’s like ‘fuck yeah’

al doesn’t need to make a list of things to eat and experiences to do because he gets to experience them all, it’s just you know, keeping up a timeshare of his brother’s body isn’t realistic and he’d really like his own back, thanks.

and they don’t have secrets, obviously, can’t when they spend half the time running around in the other’s body. except ed kind of develops a crush on mustang and roy’s confused with all these mixed signals?? because sometimes ed looks at him like he wants to eat him and other times there’s nothing???? but one day ed says screw this and he and roy end up making out and all that and kinda sort of start a relationship ish and ed means to tell al, he does, he just can’t bring himself too. so it’s 2 weeks of dating roy and he switches their bodies, and still hasn’t told him. they’re spending the day away from base so ed doesn’t worry about it, is like okay, i’ll tell al tomorrow this is not a big deal i can handle this

except they’re, i don’t know, in the market or the library or something and roy sees ed is and internally like ed! ededed! <3 <3 <3 but he has to pretend to be cool so he corners ed and kisses him and is shocked and hurt when ed pushes him away and ed just stares at him for a long moment before howling “oh my GOD you and brother are DATING?”

and they don’t call roy a genius for nothing so he’s like “…. alphonse?” and ed goes really pale and and then al’s armour rounds the corner like ‘brother! what’s wrong i heard you yell - “ and he sees them and goes “oh shit” and roy is like “EDWARD???”

and it’s like fuck, after about 5 years of playing this game they’ve been caught. and so roy drags them back to the office and everyone gathers’ round while they explain and eds like ‘you should have just gone along with it al, jeez’

‘gone along with it?’ al in ed’s body screams, ‘the COLONEL KISSED ME’ and then he goes kinda pale and whispers ‘my first kiss was the colonel so unfair i don’t even like boys’

and havoc, breda, and maes take this opportunity to excuse themselves so they can die laughing in the hallway while ed and roy look kinda embarassed and riza just. regrets everything. why is this idiotic pyromaniac her best friend again???

and things settle down and continue on and roy is very, very careful about who’s in ed’s body when in the future. and al eventually gets his body back and it’s not sickly and dying its just kind of underfed, so this isn’t too bad. and the very first thing he does is tacklE winry to the ground and they lock themselves in her room for like four hours because timeshare of ed’s body or not none of them had felt comfortable with them having sex with al in his body, and winry even had to close her eyes when they’d kissed.

and their souls have mingled so much that al and ed are almost telepathic with each other which they think is the coolsest thing ever and literally everyone else despises because they only abuse their new powers to be brats, because that’s what the do, obviously

and everyone lives happily ever after the end

Something Stupid (Like I Love You)

Title: Something Stupid (Like I Love You)

Summary: Dean didn’t think he could ever be jealous over someone who’s not his. He was wrong.

Author: deanssweetheart23

Characters: Dean Winchester x reader, Sam Winchester (mentioned), OMC.

Word count: 2014

Warnings: Not much. Tiny bit of fluff, some angst and a whole lot of language (because we all know that Dean and the f-word go together). Jealous Dean, I guess?

Author’s Notes: This is my sumbission for @death2thevirgin “Cassie Classic Challenge”. Cassie, congratulations on your milestone and thank you for letting me participate. I loved working on this one. 

Also, I’d like to thank my amazing twin @ravengirl94 for her insightful comment on part of the dialogue -which was really needed- and some general advices about the beginning. Twin, YOU’RE THE BEST!

Now. My prompt for this was “I wish I knew how to quit you” from Brokeback Mountain and is included in bold in the text below. (This is written entirely from Dean’s POV)

Originally posted by yaelstiel


The tiny bar was crowded, filled with smoke and hundreds of conversations narrated in loud voices, brightened only by some old bar lights. Rock music blasted through the jukebox and people around Dean laughed and danced and talked in an annoying cheerful manner.

And he… Well. He absolutely hated it because there was nothing to be cheerful about.

Swirling the amber liquid in his glass, he let the alcohol burn down his throat, eyes focused on the fascinating girl that was sitting a few tables away from him.

She was beautiful in that old Bad Company T-shirt that had once been his, head thrown back and eyes twinkling as she laughed at something the blue-eyed man next to her had said. She looked happy and engaged in a conversation with a man that wasn’t him and he knew, no matter how much it pained him to admit it, that she wouldn’t be heading back to their table anytime soon.

And part of him realized that it shouldn’t bother him. He realized that he had no right to be jealous and that Y/N was free to do as she pleased but the sight of her so close to another man, laughing at his stupid jokes and looking at him like he was the moon and the stars hurt him. Because only minutes earlier she had been chuckling at his antics, arm brushing up against his and bright, wide smile playing at the corners of her lips ever every time she caught him staring.

And he wasn’t being possessive. Or, at least, not entirely. Surely, he hated the idea of someone else putting their hands on Y/N, abhorred the mere possibility of that asshole kissing her, tracing soft skin and curves with his fingers, doing all the things Dean wished he could but knew he’d be never able to.

And yet, he was aware that she wasn’t his to begin with.

Keep reading

I think this is reading a book together? Yes? Ok. let’s do this. 

Keith’s old shack smells of wood varnish and old paper. Specks of dust shine and dance in the beams of afternoon sun, and Keith sits in the centre of his small living room surrounded by boxes. He flicks through a book and smiles fondly at the familiar faces that look up at him. 

“Hey babe! Can we donate all these crop jackets?!” Lance’s voice calls from the bedroom. 

“No!” Keith yells back.

“But they don’t even fit you anymore! And I don’t want these fashion disasters in our apartment!”

Our apartment. Keith’s heart thrums at those words. His grin blooms across his face. 

“I think I can make them fit!” He laughs. 

Soft foot falls announce Lance’s entrance into the living room. he lets out a suffering sigh. 

“Babe. Babe. Look. Babe look at this.”

Keith looks up. On the other side of the room Lance stands wearing one of his crop jackets. It reaches just barely under his pecks. The sleeves reach just under his elbow, and the seams at the shoulder look like they’ll burt. 

“There’s no way you can wear these anymore.” He deadpans. 

“I’m smaller than you. Not my fault you got insanely ripped.”

“Keith! You’re not 16 anymore!” Lance implores. “And your biceps are way bigger than mine.” To prove it to him, Lance runs up behind Keith and grabs his shoulders. He gently sways them from side to side and runs his hands admiringly up and down his boyfriend’s arms. 

“Bench press me, baby. I know you can.”

“Laaaaance,” Keith laughs. Lance chuckles and leans forward. His arms wrap around Keith’s neck and he rests his chin on top of his head. His long legs slot next to Keith’s easily. 

“Is it weird being back here?” Lance asks quietly. Keith leans into Lance’s chest. 

“Yeah….” He sighs. “But it’s nice… being here with you. Getting that sense of closure, you know?”

“Yeah. It’s nice to…” Lance looks down and spies the book in Keith’s lap. He freezes. 

“Nooooo way.” He whispers. He moves to look over Keith’s shoulder, and his arms tuck under Keith’s. He reaches forward and takes the book from Keith’s hands, flicking it closed and staring at the cover.

Garrison 2063 Yearbook 

“Holy shit…” Lance whispers. Keith chuckles and it rumbles against him. 

“I know, right? I found it while packing.”

“We have to keep this.”

“Absolutely.” Keith smiles. “Here wanna see something crazy?” He excitedly flicks to a page. A small photo of Pidge looks up at them. Hair cut short. Glasses comically big on her small face. 

“OOOOHHHHHH my god.” Lance squeals gleefully. “WHAT A TINY BABY.”

Keith giggles. “Remember how you thought she was a boy?”

“Look at this photo! You can’t blame me! Look at this tiny androgynous child.” They both laugh. Lance’s muscular forearms wrap and squeeze around his boyfriend’s stomach. 

“There’s also this.” Keith holds up a new page. Hunk’s 17 year old face beams up at them. There’s the mature eyes that Keith and Lance are used to, but there are traces of baby fat around his jaw. His trademark orange headband is also much brighter than either of them remember it being. Years of sweat, sun and being blown into space have since turned his headband almost a pastel colour. 

“Was Hunk ever small?”

“As someone who’s known him since we were 10…” Lance pauses. “No.” He laughs. “Dude could pick up most of our teachers from the time he was 12. I know this because I dared him to.”

Keith shakes his head. 

“I don’t doubt it.”

They continue to flip through pages. Some faces they barely recognise, others have been completely lost to time. They reach the staff pages and Keith and Lance proceed to flip off Iverson and the other instructors that expelled Keith. 

There’s a sharp intake of breath.

In the staff section, smiling up with a handsome face and beautiful dark hair is Shiro. Both of his arms are clearly visible, and there’s no scar marking his face. His eyes gleam with youthful optimism. Guilt churns in Keith’s stomach.

“God…” He deflates. “He looks so young.”

Lance squeezes him tightly. 

“He certainly… has changed.” He presses a kiss to Keith’s temple and brushes his fingers along a scar that courses through his eyebrow. Keith looks down to see Lance’s prosthetic foot nudging his thigh. 

“But so have we.” Lance smiles. “We’re all ok. Shirt’s ok now. And while things were hard…” He presses another quick kiss to Keith’s cheek. “I wouldn’t change anything.”

Keith turns his head towards his boyfriend. His mouth quirks into a grin and he presses a smiling kiss to Lance’s lips. 

“Me neither.” 

“Also…” Lance smirks. His hands hurriedly flick through the pages until he barks out a laugh.

“Can you PLEASE admit that you had a fucking mullet?” He cackles. Keith looks down at the photo and groans loudly.

“Oh my god, look at this child.” He sighs. “Why is he so moody?!” He yells at his 16 year old self. 

“You stupid boy, you don’t even know you’re an alien yet! No one’s shooting at you! Your life is great!” Keith yells. Lance howls with laughter behind him. 

“I think he’s mad…” Lance wheezes, “Because he’s super fucking gay for this handsome boy here…” Lance points at the photo of his teenager self, “But this boy thinks he’s an asshole.” 

Keith coos at the photo of Lance. He brings the book closer to his face and smiles dopily. 

“God you were cute.”

“Were?” Lance blusters. 

Keith hums. He rotates and leans into Lance’s chest. A low chuckle escapes him. 

“You’ve become the hottest and most handsome person in the universe.” He runs his hands across Lance’s broad chest. 

“And I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

The yearbook lies forgotten on the floor as Lance leans down to languidly kiss Keith until the afternoon sun slips into the horizon. 

hold my beer

Ok so this is yet another idea that I will NEVER have time to write (for those that follow my Cross the River one shots, I’m still sorry for inflicting the half finished fics on you haha. But I’m not sorry for inflicting this idea on you

Three words:

Drunk. Ladynoir. Wedding. wait is ladynoir even technically a word?

  • It’s quite a few years into the future and Adrien and Marinette are happily revealed and happily married. Everything’s just friggin peachy
  • One day there is an akuma, a girl who got dumped by a dickhead bf for another girl and then goes on a rampage to show everyone she is ‘good enough.’ After they defeat her, they try to cheer her up
  • Chat, being Chat, thinks that being a flirt will help boost her self-esteem, bc, you know, getting flirted at by a superhero is an ego boost no matter how sad you are
  • Lo and behold, it backfires
  • The girl (lets call her Ada) gets pissed off that Chat is flirting with her right in front of Lady, because “Aren’t you guys like, together??”
  • Chat backpedals, Lady facepalms. No it’s still not official or public that they’re together (keep work separate from home, yknow what I’m sayin, and besides, it’s unwise to let Hawky know the full extent of how much they care for each other because they don’t want to be emotionally manipulated in battle)
  • The girl is like “shit I thought you guys were like.. the perfect relationship. Obviously not. If even you aren’t together, then where’s the hope for me…. sighh….” :’(
  • Ada is so upset that they decide to let her in on a little secret. That in their civilian lives… they are married
  • Ada is all,  :’D omg seriously
  • (^..^) and >(:-:) are like, yeah, but dont tell anyone. It’s a secret. ((SLAPS YOU WITH HEAVY-HANDED FORESHADOWING)) Hey I know what’ll cheer you up, Ada. Lets go out for drinks!
  • AND SO MY FRIENDS, that is how Adrien and Mari end up spending a night on the town with a recent akuma victim as Chat and Lady…

Keep reading

Like it's Real (2/3) Tom Holland X Reader

Summary: Tom and Y/N are childhood best friends. So when Tom’s publicist told him to fake-date someone, Y/N seems to be the best choice. But will it stay fake, or will true feelings start to blossom?

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Some swearings

A/N: Wow guys, thank you for the 100+ followers, you’re all so sweet. If you would like to be tagged in the future parts, you can leave a comment to let me know ❤️

P.S: The italicized sentences are your internal thoughts

Part 1


Tom’s Publicist: Good Morning (Y/N), I’ve dropped off some stuff for you on your front door.

You: Stuff?

Tom’s Publicist: For you to wear to the date. Tom’s picking you up in an hour.

You: Oh sure. Thank you.

You opened your door to find a box. You carried it into your room, placing it on a chair before rummaging through it.

Apparently what the publicist refer as “stuff” includes several dresses, 4 pairs of shoes, bags and purses, and even hair accessories. No wonder the box is a bit heavy.

All the dresses seems to be a little extra for a lunch date in a local café. Well except for the simple pale yellow sundress with floral prints.

Putting it on, the dress fell just right above your knees. It flows beautifully. You put on a nude platform sandals and looked at the mirror.

This should do it

“Y/N?” came Tom’s voice, followed by three knocks.

“Coming!” You yelled back, hurriedly grabbing a purse then stuffing in your phone and money.

Opening the door, you greeted him with a cheerful smile, “Hi”

“Hi (Y/N), you look beautiful.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself” you said, blushing a little from his compliment.

“I was thinking that we could walk to the café?. It’s only a few blocks away. I wouldn’t mind driving if don’t want to though,” He asked.

“Sure Tom. I could use some exercise.“

-

After a 5 minute walk, you both arrived at the café. The bell jingled as Tom opened the door for you, being the gentleman he is.

“Let’s go sit by the glass window. My publicist said the paparazzi would get better shots of us that way.”

After you both had settled in, the waitress came to take your orders.

“What can I get you?” smiled the waitress.

“I’d like a soufflé and a glass of iced tea please,” you ordered.

“And for me, a hot tea and a quackson would be nice,” Tom added smiling at the waitress.

“Excuse me, what?” the waitress asked giving him a weird look.

You tried muffling your laughs, but when Tom looked at you with his confused face you coudln’t help but roar in laughter.

“Tom! You - you just said quackson instead of croissant!”

Realization dawns on his face. “Oh shit. I meant a croissant. A croissant and hot tea would be nice,” he corrected, grimacing a little.

You’re still howling with laughter as the waitress leave. You’re laughing so hard that tears are escaping your eyes.

“Oh my god Tom. I can’t believe that just happened,” you said still chuckling at his red face.

“I’ve been asked to say quackson so many times now that it kinda stuck,” He explained, still not smiling.

“You have to admit it’s funny though,” You snickered.

He cracked a small smile, “I guess it is a little funny.”

With all the fun you’re having, you almost forgot that this is supposed to be a fake date. Almost, but then your phone vibrates.

Tom's publicist added you into a group chat 

Tom's Publicist:: You're both doing great.

Tom: How did you know that?

Tom's Publicist: I'm three tables away from you 

Both of you looked around the café trying to spot the publicist. Sure enough, he’s sitting in a booth at the corner of the café.

You made eye contact briefly, then he starts tapping on his phone again. You looked back at your phone as it buzzes.

Tom's Publicist: Y/N, put your hand on the table, and Tom put yours on top of hers. This is a great chance.

You could feel the blush creeping up your neck at the thought of this. You lift your head up to see Tom already staring at you, his cheeks tinted with a slight blush.

You placed your hand on the table and Tom looked at you, asking for permission. You nodded, heart racing with anticipation.

As his palm rest on top of your hand, you felt a jolt of electricity run through your body. You have a thousands thoughts rushing through your mind.

Why am I being like this. It’s just Tom, I shouldn’t be feeling any of this. It’s even staged for fuck’s sake.

After a few minutes, the paparazzi left but Tom’s hand is still resting on top of yours. You tried continuing the conversation. But it’s kinda hard with his thumb occassionally sweeping back and forth on the back of your hand.

He’s staring at you with such intensity, you felt like you could melt into a puddle. But then the waitress came back, bringing your orders making both of you break the physical contact.

-

“Do you still have any room left in your stomach?” Tom asked as you both exited the café.

“What do you have in mind?”

“I saw an ice cream truck on the way here. Thought we could maybe make a quick stop,” he grinned, knowing you wouldn’t turn down free ice cream.

-

Thanks for the ice cream,“ you thanked him, as he handed you your cone. You start licking on your heavenly treat, sighing in content.

Tom chuckled at your antics, “I’m glad you like it that much.” You can only hum in agreement as you continue to devour your sweet treat.

“Y/N, I’m going to try something. Just go with it okay?”

Narrowing your eyes you questioned, “What exactly?”

“Can I try your ice cream?” “Umm, sure?” You answered, utterly confused. What is he trying to do? You hold out your ice cream for him to try. But instead of licking your ice cream like you thought he would, his soft lips meet yours instead.

Your eyes flew wide open. As you body froze in shock. It’s the most innocent kiss anybody has ever given to you. Even though it only lasted for 3 seconds, it’s enough to leave you feeling lightheaded.

“It worked!” Tom exclaimed all of a sudden. “They’re all taking videos and photos”

You turned around to see a small crowd video-taping you and Tom. Of course it was an act. How stupid of you to think it was real?

-

Tom held your hand the whole way to your apartment, awaking the butterflies inside your stomach.

“I had a great time today Y/N. Time seems to fly when I’m you,” He smiled at you softly ad you reached your door. “I can’t thank you enough for agreeing to this,”

“Hey, I had fun too. And I should be thanking you for being such a great ‘date’ today,” you assured him, doing the air quotes gesture.

Chuckling Tom said, “Well then I should be going. See you tomorrow!” The he leaned in to place a kiss on your forehead, making you suck in a sharp breath.

“Bye Tom,” you squeaked, waving at him before entering your apartment and closing the door. You closed your eyes as you leaned on the door, heart still racing from his forehead kiss.

Fuck, I have a crush on Tom

@i-dream-of-taxes @harrysbbby @peterparkersayingmrstark @rosaetum @5-seconds-of-sarcasmm @purpleshowers @seargantbcky @sarcasmismyonlyweaponofdefense

Huntress in the Castle: Part Three

Part One and Part Two

It is so maddeningly quiet.

I am used to five older brothers, I am not used to this. I am not used to being so alone. I am so used to cleaning, or cooking, or playing with Finn and Craig, or talking to Niall. I am used to activity and voices and laughter. I have only been here for one day, what am I supposed to do?

I leave my room, looking back and forth to make sure Nadine isn’t anywhere. And when I see she isn’t around, I sprint like a madman. I run as fast and as I hard as I can and jump on the banister, I scream all the way down, howling laughter. I have never gone so fast in my life! I am flying! Oh God, I am actually flying! I realize then that there isn’t anything to stop me. I can’t stop!

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Searingly Sweet (Marichat/Adrienette)

What do you do when one of paris’ most superlatively handsome heros comes knocking on your balcony door? You would panic first, right? Like, what does he want; why is he here; should I prepare something? Any and all those thoughts might run through your head I’m guessing. But what does Marinette Dupain-Cheng do when a certain leather-clad feline comes a knocking?

She gets pissed…cause duh, right?

And it wasn’t even like she was pissed at him exactly. It was more just that he happened to appear at the apex of her shitty day. Every single client the 23 year old had that afternoon was completely and utterly shitty human beings. And she gets it, a lot of schools in the area were picking up the american custom of having end of the year dances, for socializing and shit. But if she had to hear another shitty 17 year old complain about how the applique on her dress doesn’t absolutely “shimmer” in the moonlight and how the dress doesn’t make her ASS look like that american rapper Nicki Minaj’s (Which by the way if you’re gonna use french in your stage name PICK A REAL FRENCH WORD). She was ACTUALLY going to cut someone.

So it wasn’t his fault that he happened to knock on the balcony door to her apartment. Also wasn’t his fault that she happened to be in the middle of her 3rd alteration of the SAME dress at the time. But that didn’t stop her from viciously slamming open her door, rage blazing in her eyes.

“WHAT?” She roared

Her attitude instantly vanished, however, as Chat Noir collapsed into her arms. She grabbed onto his waist to keep him upright but his harsh hiss kept her hands at bay. She felt a wetness on her hand, it wasn’t raining out so it couldn’t be good. She looked down and sure enough Chat had contracted a sizeable cut above his hip and in different places along his torso.

“Holy shit!” was all she could really comment “Adrien, what happened!?”

They had long since found out each other’s identity. 21st birthdays mixed with intimate truth or dare and too many margaritas will do that kind of thing to you. But the lucky part was that nothing ever really changed for them. If anything, it made their civilian lives that much easier. Now, if anything went wrong they knew exactly where to go for safety.

Guess this was one of those times huh?

“Mari” Chat groaned out pitifully, body slumped over her petite frame

She didn’t allow him to say anything else as she carefully helped him onto the couch. She laid him down gently and rushed to get a bowl and some cool water. Returning back he didn’t look too good, hair matted from sweat and eyes squeezed shut in pain. She gingerly picked up his head and laid it in her lap. She pressed the wet cloth to his biggest cut and pressed down, shushing him softly to soothe his pain.

She looked into his eyes for an explanation “What happened? Was it a really bad akuma?”. Her heart only sank as he remained silent.

“Oh god it was, wasn’t it? Fuck, if I wasn’t so swamped with work I could’ve been there for you. You wouldn’t be like this. Adrien I’m so sorry” He lifted his hand and gently stroked her cheek. A gentle smile graced his features and she felt like bursting into tears that very moment.

“Please don’t cry, Mari” He said, his voice warmer than a summer’s breeze “I didn’t lose to an akuma. Just to a very old cat and a very sturdy tree.”

At first it didn’t click, she was far too wrapped up in her guilt ridden emotions. But then, ever so slowly, the words sunk in further and further

“Could you say that again for me please?” She said a little too sweetly “I just want to make sure I heard you correctly”

“Oh! I just said that these cuts are from me saving a pretty old cat from a tree” He scratched his head bashfully “old beast was not too appreciative and scratched me up pretty good and the tree kinda finished the job”

She stood up abruptly, knocking chat off the couch and onto the floor.

“Noooo” Chat whined as she stormed off “Don’t leave me here to perish in the cold!”

A blanket, quite unceremoniously, pelted him in the face “BUNDLE UP BITCH”

“Someone’s got their chiffon in a knot” He pouted “what? You missed your monthly ‘designer’s digest’ issue?”

Marinette sat back on the couch wordlessly, only speaking to ask him to drop his transformation so she could patch him up. Her speech was so…professional that he dropped it immediately, worried that he might’ve pushed her buttons a little too hard.

“Hey Mari, you know I was only kidding right?” this silent treatment was a bit of a first for him, he hadn’t meant to offend her, only poke at her a little “I didn’t mean all that stuff I said. I really am sorry”

He tried putting on his best sad face, nudging his head into her in the hopes that it’d melt her heart enough to forgive him. She sighed and put his head back into her lap.

“I’m not mad chat.” She said, preparing a disinfectant cloth “there’d be no point in that”

He breathed a sigh of relief, he wasn’t totally convinced but at least she wasn’t gonna kick him out of the house

“That being said, you tear up the shirt I made you. Sooooo, you deserve this entirely”

Adrien’s eyes shot open wide as a stinging, searing pain shot through his whole side. He moved to shoot up in his seat but, surprisingly, Marinette was pretty strong and held him down, giggling the entire time. A disinfectant cloth slapped to the cut would teach him a lesson or two

“OH MY GOD THAT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD” he howled out

“I know right? You must be so sorry for playing with my emotions and tearing up that shirt aren’t you?”

“I WAS ATTACKED!?!? GET THIS SHIT OFF ME!”

“That’s interesting cause, see, that doesn’t sound like an ‘I’m sorry’ to me”

“YOU ARE SADISTIC”

“And you’re still screaming. I do have neighbors you know”

Adrien gritted his teeth as he tried to bear the burning sensation traveling all through his body “I’m sorry for tearing up the shirt and playing with your emotions even though I did nothing of the sort

She pressed down on the cut harder

“I’M SORRY I’M SORRY YOU’RE RIGHT ENTIRELY MY FAULT. PLEASE SWEET MERCIFUL CHRIST LET GO!”

She took pity on his poor soul and finally released him. He rolled back onto the floor and scattered away behind her curtains

“I COULD HAVE DIED YOU PSYCHO”

Marinette was hardly perturbed “1.) I checked the bottle before-hand it was gonna sting regardless of what I did and 2.) you still have like 8 more lives, you’re fine”

Adrien was now in full pout mode “I’m not an actual cat you know. The american phrase ‘YOLO’ does actually apply to me”

“You’re so dramatic” she laughed. Scooting over on the furthest side of the couch, she stretched out her arms to lure him back to the sofa. He turned from her, refusing to even acknowledge her offer.

“Oh come on, kitty. I still have to wrap up your other cuts before they get infected”

He wrapped the curtains further up on his body “Better than dying from the shock of the pain!”

She rolled her eyes “I promise I’ll be gentler this time. And, I’ll make sure to tell you when the sting is coming”

He eyed her cautiously, coming out from behind the curtains and inching closer “I want free cuddles the rest of the night”

She sighed “fine, whatever you want”. It was like telling him he’d won the lotto, his perfect white teeth gleaming in a cheshire like grin. Adrien tossed himself on the couch, instantly slipping up her body and snuggling closely to her chest.

“You are so unbelievably spoiled you know”

“You know I think I can still feel the pain of the disinfectant. I wonder why?”

She laughed warmly and let him stay there for a while.

There was no way to really describe the relationship they had. On the one hand they were definitely friends; they had the occasional coffee meet-up with Alya and Nino, popped in on one another if they had a bad day and, duh, saved one another from certain death every now and again. They could go out and see other people, sure, but then they did things like this. Cuddle times where they just stayed silent and share body heat, sleeping in the same bed because one couldn’t be bothered to stay up enough to make the trek home, and even spending whole weekends just vegging out at home watching Totally Spies reruns on TV. It was a weird set up but if you asked Marinette if she would change anything, not a single second would be unmissed.

“Ok mon minou, let’s get you patched up before I have to clean your blood off my couch…again”

He begrudgingly agreed and left her warm hold, sitting with legs crossed and patiently awaited her medical care. She returned back with her famous “Chat almost died today” first aid kit and something thin and white sticking out from between her lips. It caught the blonde’s attention and his feline instincts began to flare up again. Nevertheless, he sat still,only moving to remove his shirt and give her space to wrap his body in bandages.

“There, all done” She said, ever so slightly proud of her work “You were a very good patient this time around kitty. Usually you’re so squirmish”

Even as she scritched his favorite spot behind his ear adrien still couldn’t get his mind off of whatever was occupying his lady’s mouth

“Uh Adrien? You ok?” She said waving a hand in front of his eyes. He blinked back to reality and smiled apologetically

“Sorry Mari guess I’m a little distracted” He laughed nervously. She shrugged it off as no big deal and left to warm up some leftovers for him.

Adrien watched her with childlike curiosity, he didn’t wanna be a real bother to her but it killed him not knowing what it was that was in her mouth. Even still, he hesitated on bringing it up, choosing instead to stuff his face with honey mustard glazed chicken and pasta.

It was maybe 20 minutes into their third episode when Adrien just stretched himself out flat onto her lap. She remarked on his keen ability to make “make himself at home” but it only went in one ear and out another as he watched her cheek poke out with the offending object.

He poked it

She switched it to the other side

He poked it again

She sat it in the middle while looking at him with a strange look on her face

He didn’t even notice as his long fingers kept poking around her face, expecting to flush it out from behind her lips

“Adrien!” She commanded, swatting his hands away “Will you please stop tha-”

“My lady, what is in your mouth?”

The question came out so abruptly that it caught her completely by surprise. She blinked confusedly at him. There was not a hint of joking attitude in his eyes so she took it out.

“It’s just a lollipop. See?” she placed it back over her tongue, sucking on it hard “Nothing special. Cherry flavor I think”

Adrien didn’t exactly know what to feel. Yes, he got the answer he’d been looking for but, at the same time, a cherry lollipop? Really?

“Why didn’t you say you got one?” He fussed

“Why do you care? Kitty, it’s just candy”

He didn’t really have a witty retort to that so he kept silent, rolling over in her lap and facing the TV. Marinette assumed he’d finally gave up so she settled back in her seat.

“I want one”

She groaned, rubbing her temples soothingly

“No, Kitty you may not have one”

Adrien poked out his bottom lip “Why not, you have one”

“Ok, And?”

“Where do you keep them?”

“If I told you that it wouldn’t be a secret stash would it?”

He almost took offense to that “Why would you keep it a secret from me? Do you not trust me?”

“To not eat all my candy without me knowing? No”

“I’d replace it”

“Adrien the last time you ‘replaced’ my candy stash it ended up being more expensive than my rent”

He pulled her into a face squishing hug “Maaari let me have one”

She struggled to push away him away, he was stupidly strong when he wants something “No dammit let me go!”

Adrien finally released her and suddenly stood up. If she didn’t know any better she would’ve assumed that she got the hint. But, sadly, she did and, without remorse, glared him down.

“Chaton, don’t you fucking dare”

He shot out of the living room and into the bedroom down the hall. She chased after him, knowing exactly where he was going and for what. Just as she suspected, Adrien was making quick work of her room, sifting between the sheets and crawling beneath the bed.

“Quit it you fucking sugar addict!”

“Let me have my fix and I will!”

“No!”

“Then the hunt continues!”

Her room was becoming an utter mess. Clothes were being tossed everywhere, it was like a horror movie. She forced him into a corner to maybe try and talk things out somewhat civilly but the blonde bastard just carefully scooped her up and tossed her onto the bed, breaking out from the corner to just fuck up her room even more.

They were on the floor now, huffing and wheezing as they tried to catch their breath. Adrien looked everywhere, the sheets, under the bed, in the closet. He even took the ultimate risk and went through her drawers (The kick to his gut proved that that wasn’t too good of an idea). But still no sweets for a little blonde boy named Adrien

“Please tell me you quit” She huffed out

“It’s not fair” he whined “all I wanted was something sweet”

“I just fed you”

“Dessert is an important part of every meal”

He clambered up onto his feet and stumbled back, knocking into the wall behind him. There was a clamor from the top of Marinette’s closet. She prayed that he didn’t hear it….it was a stupid prayer let’s be real here.

“Hey Marinette”

“Yes Adrien”

“What’s in your closet”

“You looked in there yourself…nothing”

She didn’t dare move from the floor as he stared her down

“If I go over there right this very second, you’re not gonna move”

“I see no reason to do so”

The millisecond he moved toward that closet door she raced in between him and the doorway. A dark smile stretched across his lips. He moved in close and she could hear his heartbeat in her ears. He leaned down, his breath tickling her ears.

His voice made her knees weak “It’s in there, isn’t it my lady”

She sucked on her cherry blowpop harder and harder as she shook her head vigorously

“Then what did I hear in the closet. If it’s not what I’m looking for then what’s there to worry about?”

Her eyes looked everywhere but his own vibrant green ones. He knew what that tone of voice did to her and did it anyway.

Adrien snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her away from the door. His stares were so paralyzing she couldn’t say that she even noticed. They walked over to the bed and gently pushed her onto its soft sheets. He climbed atop of her, smoothing his hands across her skin

“Be a good girl and stay here, ok?”

This man could’ve told her to commit murder and all she’d need was a spoon and a name

He moved back over to the closet and rooted around its dark shelves. Eventually he noticed that the side wall was uneven. Sure enough, when he pressed down on it the panel fell away to a secret hole in the wall, complete with its own neatly painted shoe box.

“Hello my sweet”

He was a kitten on christmas coming out from that closet. Pressed close to his chest the box clearly said ‘Keep out, especially you kitty!” but he couldn’t care less, soon he would indulge himself in a sugar sweet paradise.

“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, THIEF”

Or at least he would if she didn’t break out of her lust induced trance

He bolted out of the room, eyes darting left and right for any kind of hiding space. Alas, it was no use. Marinette had him stuck in the kitchen corner with nowhere left to run. She took a cautious step toward him and he grabbed the first thing he could, a deluxe chocolate bar that she’d been saving for a super shitty day

Much like this one actually

“S-stop! Kitty, just leave the box on the counter”

“Fine! I’ll just take the chocolate bar then”

“THE CHOCOLATE BAR TOO!”

He tore off the label, never once taking his eyes off hers

“Put it. Down”

A corner of the aluminum wrapping hit the floor and her mind went into a blind panic. He was really gonna eat it if she didn’t come up with something!

He opened his mouth comically wide and brought it to his teeth

‘ThinkThinkThinkThinkThink!’

And as he brought his teeth closer together for bite she decided that she had no choice

Marinette ripped the candy from her mouth and pressed her body roughly against his, grabbing a fistful of his hair and bringing their lips together.

That alone would be seared into his subconscious for the rest of his life but what followed would follow him for as long as time stood.

Cherries, the syrupy sweet taste of artificial cherries flooded his tastebuds as her tongue slipped between his lips and into every corner of his mouth. His mind couldn’t take it to the point where he just dropped the box in his hands altogether, grabbing tightly onto her hips and savoring the flavor as much as he could.

But as soon as it started, it ended. She backed away from him, face redder than the candy in her hand.

“Never touch my stash again”

He tried to speak but she shoved the red sucker into his cheeks

“And I’m sure you’ve probably earned that”

She gathered up her box and walked out the kitchen, grumbling something about ‘Stupid cats’ and ‘putting it in a safe next time’

Adrien’s favorite flavor used to be chocolate

He was fairly certain that’s not the case anymore.

Imagine Dean Finding Your Panties In His Car

Your name: submit What is this?

“So neither of you have any idea where these came from?” Dean’s line of questioning is becoming more intense.

“I ahhh…nope.” Sam shakes his head as you try to inch behind him without being noticed.

“What about you? You’re surprisingly quiet for someone with never ending opinions.” Dean turns his focus to you.

There’s a pair of lacy, black panties dangling from his index finger. The evidence.

“I have no idea.” You raise your hands in a gesture of reluctance as heat rises in your cheeks.

“Maybe they’re yours. I mean, not yours, but that girl you went home with last week.” Sam offers, stumbling over his words.

“I think I would remember if I took her thong off in the back of my car.” Dean glares at both of you, disgusted.

Sam’s eyes dart from you and back to Dean. If we’re being honest those are definitely your panties that Dean’s waving around. You have a crystal clear memory of lying in the back seat when Sam slid them down your legs and tossed them on the floor, where they were apparently forgotten.  

“You know what?” You gather your courage and step forward, “I think those are mine, they must have fallen out my bag.” You snatch your underwear from their perch on Dean’s finger and ball them up in your hand.

“I knew it.” Dean throws his hands in the air, full of indignation. “I knew it…in my car…you two.”

“It was one time Dean, relax.” Sam admits, rolling his eyes.

“It’s the principal Sam. And you, Y/N” he says your name with revulsion. “You can’t use a bed, or a couch or something normal.”

Your face flushes bright red. You and Sam involuntarily look at the couch, where just last night Sam went down on you. It only takes Dean a second to catch on.

“Oh my God.” Dean howls, “nowhere is safe.”

Best Dad Ever (Dean Winchester x Daughter!Reader Imagine)

Originally posted by daengerously-intaense

A/N: Pretty long I think, sorry! And don’t forget to go to my profile to see my fandom list and rules to request! Also very open for criticism to make my next one better! 😉👍 and let me know if there is any mistakes so I can fix them! Enjoy! 😊

Y/N ~ Your name

Best Dad Ever

~ Don’t really know what era to put this in, I’ll leave it to you! ~

Your P.O.V.

“Do you have your angel blade?”

“Yes dad! I always do.” I chuckled, gathering my stuff in my purse.

“I just wanna make sure you’re protected if something goes wrong.” My overprotective father, Dean said, leaning against the doorframe. “And has anything ever gone wrong?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at my father as I put my purse on.

“It could happen today.” Dean countered. “You better knock on wood old man.” I joked as I walked past my dad to the map room.

“Hey! I am not old because that means you’re old.”

“Does it? Does it really?”

“Well I’m not as old as Cas.” Dean said and Cas looked up from the lore book he was reading in the map room across from Uncle Sam.

“Hey.” Cas said and Sam chuckled. I smiled and wrapped my arms around Cas’ neck from behind. “True but we still love you Uncle Cas.” I said and kissed his cheek and he smiled and patted my arms. “Just remember to call or text every hour. Every hour or I will find you and ground you till you’re my age.” Dean said.

“You can’t ground me till I’m fifty.”

Sam howled with laughter.

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Better This Way (Chapter Six)

The beginning of this is some smutty smut, so mind the “Read More”. And then… well I mean, I warned you guys about the angst lol. Not too bad yet but its getting there!

ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS HERE

Enjoy :)

******************

The sun was just barely coming up, pinpricks of light stealing in from the edges of the curtains when Peter’s full heat finally hit, and he went from mewling softly as Wade touched him to crying out, digging his heels into the bed to shove his hips into the air, thrusting helplessly into Wade’s loose grasp. He was swearing, sweating, tearing at the sheets, rubbing his thighs together as slick started flowing.

“Pete.” a growl ripped from Wade’s throat. “Omega.” He could feel the change in the air, as the easy lines of contentment, pleasure, gentle between them ratcheted up to need, desperate, more.

“Yes.” Peter moaned. “Alpha. Yes.” he was already starting to slur a little as the heat took him, dragging his fingers through his hair and down his face, trying to muffle his moans behind his hand.

“God dammit.” Wade ran his hands up Peter’s chest, resting over his racing heart before moving back down, not stopping the restless motion of his hips, just pressing lightly so Peter had something to thrust up against, nearly biting his tongue off when one of those long legs hooked around his waist, urging him down against the omega. “Wish I could see you.” he muttered and Peter nodded.

“Alpha, want to see you too. Want to see you and taste you and–fuck fuck—” Peter wrapped his other leg around Wade’s waist and tightened them, canting his hips and forcing Wade down against him.

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