PLEASE DO WRITE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE EROS THING, there can never be too much yoi meta! ♥♥♥
Okay!!!!! I don’t know if there’s much more to say beyond what you did, but I can sure try!
(for context, this is the post w/ the eros thing. I’m gonna quickly summarize that and then kinda ???? I’ll figure it out)
There are 3 ways to refer to oneself in Japanese:
- 私 (watashi) probably the most common you’ll hear. It’s gender neutral, but is most often used by women.
- 僕 (boku) masculine. It’s used by boys/men almost exclusively; however, I’ve been told before that tomboys use 僕 too
- あたし(atashi) HIGHLY feminine. almost exclusively used by women.
Yuuri most commonly refers to himself as 僕, except in specific circumstances.
Like Alli said, Yuuri transitions from using 僕 to first 私 and then あたし during ep3.
In the title card and in Minako’s studio, Yuuri uses 僕
but on the ice he starts with 私
and once we really get underway into the program (2nd half), he switches to あたし!
I could be wrong about this–I’m VERY sick rn and my ears are plugged–but I think I hear Yuuri going back and forth between 僕 and あたし in the screenshot directly above??? Which is interesting…
Anyway, regardless, considering Yuuri’s use of pronouns, it tells the audience that Yuuri is seriously dedicated to portraying this story. He truly sees himself as a woman–or at least a feminine person–while skating this. Once he stops skating the routine, though, he immediately transitions back into 僕.
It’s almost the same in ep5:
Victor tells Yuuri to seduce him, and instead of using 私 first, he uses 僕
and then jumps into あたし.
And then finally returns to 僕 after skating.
I also feel like I need to note–for those who may be unawares–that when speaking Japanese, you don’t always have to use “I” in an “I” sentence. Sort of like English, but not quite.
Sometimes in Japanese, you don’t have to use an “I” word because it’s implied to be present.
English does that too, but in a slightly different way? Using “I” is rather intrinsic in English, I think, and it’s not in Japanese. In both languages you can reply to “what’s your name” with “my name is [name]” “I’m [name]” or just “[name].” But in English, you wouldn’t be able to say something like “I already know the results”
without using “I.” In Japanese, however, it’s pretty much literally phrased as “results are known,” with an implied “I.”
So what I’m saying is, I can’t always get Yuuri’s pronoun just after the skate–when he’d be in the mindset–because it doesn’t always turn up. I do what I can.
Sorry, back on track!
In ep6, Yuuri uses 僕 exclusively during the skate.
(lemme just say that I love the way Yuuri is speaking here…his tone of voice is so lazy, and casually confident. Like you would imagine a smoking burlesque dancer. Fuckin get it, Yuuri!)
And it’s the same for ep8 and ep11, the only other times Yuuri skates Eros.
Right, so, I’ve rambled a lot, but what’s the significance?
As Alli talked about in their ask, the use of pronouns reflects how Yuuri views himself.
Off the ice, he’s able to use 僕 comfortably, but not during this SP. In ep3, Yuuri speaks almost as if he’s coaxing himself into that role; starting out with the “safer” 私 before using あたし.
I think this reflects the fact that, firstly, this program is uncharted territory and Yuuri needs to slowly settle into it. Secondly, Yuuri isn’t fully in the headspace yet. It isn’t until ep5–after months and months of training with this story–that Yuuri can jump into the role of The Most Beautiful Woman in Town™ easily. He’s comfortable with that idea of himself now.
I mentioned this in a post I did forever ago (boop) but during the ep5 SP, Yuuri reverses the roles of the man and woman in the story.
So even though Yuuri still performs the “woman’s” role, he turns the story on its head. Yuuri is confident enough here to be able to see himself as the seducer, the playboy, etc etc. But right now, he can only see it if in the role of the woman.
In ep6, Yuuri starts using 僕 from there on out. He’s gained enough confidence in himself–and in his relationship with Victor–to be able to put himself out there as physically desirable. Thanks to Yuuri’s own inner strength (mentally weak my ass), family/friend’s support, and Victor’s encouragements, Yuuri was able to make a smooth transition into showing a new side of himself.
If I know anxiety–and boy howdy, I sure do–this is such an incredible move to make. Doing something new, something that will get you noticed, is really hard. It’s clear Yuuri is uncomfortable with the idea of having fans–both because he thinks he doesn’t deserve it and, I think, because Yuuri feels he can’t handle that sort of attention.
I used to do a lot of acting myself, up until only a couple years ago, despite my anxiety issues. I loved it, I enjoyed it immensely, and I would say that the mark of a good performance is when you can’t remember anything that just happened. You completely lose yourself in the experience; you become your character, and it feels natural. When you’re comfortable with a character, a side of yourself that comes out during performances, it’s as easy as breathing to slip into.
By ep6, Yuuri truly sees himself as this person. He’s comfortable with himself, his place in the skating world, his desires, and the eyes watching his every move.
Godspeed, Yuuri; you make that performance and yourself. God-fucking-speed.