i was going to post it later

Background: Ok, I’m a dragonborn bard with hella good stats. This session, I’m teamed up with an orc bard who also has hella good stats. Nonetheless, we tend to make some stupid ass decisions.

Campaign leader: (ooc) okay, this is a stealth mission, so here’s the plan (lists off other parts of plan) …Rue (me) and The Bear (orc bard) you’re going to be the distraction fpr the guards later so that they don’t find us stealing the crown.

DM: alright, you’re on the second floor, you’re getting ready to distract the guards, and The Bear, with your perception check, you see some bells on the wall along with 6 guards. What are you gonna do?

The Bear (ooc): I’m gonna ring the bells as hard as I fucking can.

DM: are you… are you sure-?

The Bard (ooc): yes.

DM: alright then. You ring the bells and guards start to notice and walk towards you.

While this has been going on, the rest of the group has started to grumble. Then it’s my turn.

DM: Alright, what are you gonna do Rue?

Me (ooc): I’m gonna start a fight with a guard.

DM: are you- you know what, I’m not even gonna try to argue. Just go on, go roll a damage/strength check.

Me (ooc): I’ve rolled a 17.

Another member of the group: oh fuck. Oh. FUCK. You’ve just killed a man, [Rue].

DM: Alright Rue, what are you gonna a do?

Me (ooc): I’m gonna go at him with my broad sword.

Rest of the party: (at both me and the other bard) WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK THIS IS A STEALTH MISSION

Needless to say, the other bard and I are stuck in separate rooms, surrounded by guards, and the guard I stabbed is very dead.

Malec – Sick!Magnus

I know I have a lot of requests to do but since I have to type this on mobile, it’s going to be really short and I prefer doing longer fics for requests unless it’s specified as a drabble. Once I get back to my school, I’ll fill a request on my computer. Since this is also posted on mobile, sorry for any formatting issues. I’ll fix it later haha

Though Alec was standing right outside the bathroom door, he was sure he would have been able to hear Magnus’ heaving blocks blocks away. Though he knew it was futile, he tried the door once again, only to curse when he found it was still locked. “Magnus, come on,” he called out. “You know I can get in if I really want to. Just let me in.”

Alec heard his boyfriend spit into the toilet before answering him. “There’s absolutely no reason for you to come in here, Alexander. I’m perfectly-” Magnus stopped speaking and another heave echoed through the bathroom. “I’m fine. Please just… you don’t need to see this.”

Alec rolled his eyes but complied, knowing that if Magnus truly needed space, it was best to give it to him. The last time he had annoyed his warlock boyfriend, all of his Shadowhunter gear had been covered in glitter. Not wanting to have to deal with that mess again, Alec decided against breaking the door down. Instead, he just folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall, patiently waiting for his boyfriend to stop puking his guts out. Truthfully, he was worried; he had never heard of a warlock getting sick before. Or any Downworlder for that matter, excluding werewolves. Alec was wracking his brain, trying to figure out what might be wrong with Magus, when the toilet finally flushed. Finally, after ten minutes of throwing up, Magnus seemed to be finished. Alec moved away from the wall and looked at his boyfriend once the door was opened and immediately felt more concerned, which he hadn’t thought would be possible. However, looking at Magnus, he could tell how sick the warlock was. Magnus very rarely allowed himself to look casual, however while he was getting sick, he must have zapped different clothes on because his Victorian-style suit had been replaced with a black T-shirt and black, silk pajama pants. Not to mention, Magnus’ makeup was smeared around his eyes, and his hair lacked glitter and was sticking to his forehead.

“By the angel, Mags,” Alec said with a shake of his head. “What’s going on with you?”

Magnus grimaced and wrapped his arm around his middle and audibly swallowed. “I’m perfectly fine. Don’t worry about me, Alexander.”

“Yeah, too late for that,” Alec said, shaking his head. Placed the back of his hand on the warlock’s cheek. “You don’t feel warm.”

Magnus waved away Alec’s hand. “I’m not ill,” he explained with a small hiccup. He brought his hand to his mouth and swallowed.

“Convincing,” Alec said, raising an eyebrow. “Because you totally don’t look like you’re about to hurl.”

Magnus’ cat-eyes narrowed in annoyance and Alec couldn’t help but wonder why his boyfriend was getting so defensive about this. Something else was definitely going on. “I’m not ill,” Magnus repeated again with emphasis. “It’s no illness.”

Alec frowned, confused. This wasn’t Magnus just waving away concern by lying about how he felt – he was telling the truth. “If you’re not sick, why did you just spend the past ten minutes in the bathroom, heaving up what sounded like your internal organs? Seriously, Magnus, what’s going on? You’re starting to scare me.”

Magnus was quiet for a moment before his stomach audibly groaned. Wincing, Magnus put his hand to it, sighing softly. “I may or may not have filled the High Warlock of Boston’s apartment with water and fish. There also might have been a shark involved. You know, I can’t be too sure about these things.”

Alec blinked, feeling his lips slowly part in surprise. “I mean… that raises more questions than answers. What does that have to do with-”

“He’s a very powerful, very vindictive warlock,” Magnus interrupted quickly. He hiccuped again and ran his hand across his stomach. Even though his T-shirt was loose, Alec could see how bloated Magnus’ stomach was. “He cursed me.”

The words ‘cursed’ immediately caught Alec’s attention. His eyes widened and he felt panic course through his entire body. “Curse? Will it… can it kill you?”

Magnus shook his head. “Unfortunately, not,” he mumbled. “But I will be expelling quite a bit of water out of my stomach. I would rather he kill me, truthfully.”

Though the situation certainly sucked, Alec relaxed. At least Magnus wasn’t in danger; he couldn’t stand the idea of losing him. Especially not over a stupid prank. “Well, why did you do it?” he couldn’t help but ask. “If you knew he was going to get you back.”

Magnus sighed. “Because I was getting him back for turning all of my clothing a hideous shade of green. We’ve been going back and forth for at least two centuries. Really, it’s not the worst that has happened. You know me, I’m a tad dramatic.”

Alec ran a hand down his face and sighed. “Anything we can do? Or are you just going to ride it out?” Alec hated the idea of Magnus being this miserable for much longer. “How long will it last?”

Magnus shrugged. “However long he sees fit, I’m afraid.” A wet burp escaped Magnus and he put his hand to his mouth again. “Excuse me for a moment.” Magnus disappeared into the bathroom again, though this time, he didn’t shut the door. Alec stepped in the doorway and watched as his boyfriend kneeled himself down in front of the toilet once again. At first, he was going to stay out of Magnus’ way, however, when Magnus heaved painfully, bringing up nothing, Alec decided to approach the warlock and kneel beside him.

“Anything I can do?” he asked, putting a hand on Magnus’ back.

Magnus shuddered as saliva dripped into the bowl and hung off his lips. “Kill me,” he suggested, pulling the string off of his lips. His face contorted and he wrapped an arm around his middle, gagging softly. Alec could hear him swallow thickly, clearly trying to stop the inevitable. A bubble of air began to rise up his throat and Magnus released it with a grimace.

“Well maybe now you’ll put this stupid prank war behind you.” Alec wordlessly waved Magnus’ arm from his stomach, ignoring the weak protests. He replaced it with his own hand, gently rubbing in smooth circles over the T-shirt.

Magnus didn’t protest to the touch, even getting his own arm out of the way to give Alec easier access, and instead rested his arm on top of the toilet seat. “Far too stubborn for that, I’m afraid. Besides, I promised Chairman Meow I wouldn’t give up after his fur was turned pink. I’m not sure why that was supposed to be revenge on me; I thought it looked lovely.”

Alec rolled his eyes but remained silent. He instead focused on comforting Magnus, hoping to make this process a bit less miserable. By rubbing Magnus’ stomach, he could feel how bloated he was and his stomach was fluttering underneath his hand. Alec slipped his hand underneath Magnus’ T-shirt and rested it on his boyfriend’s bare belly, hoping the coolness of his palm would help with the evident cramping. Without warning, the stomach contract underneath his touch and Magnus heaved loudly, bringing up a large mouthful of water. Gently, Alec rubbed the swollen belly as it continued to contact while Magnus threw up.

“It hurts,” Magnus hissed between his teeth. He gagged emptily and spat into the toilet again.

Alec gently began to knead, hoping to loosen up the cramps. Magnus belched again, though this time it was more airy than wet. “Are you empty?”

“Angel, no,” Magnus answered with a hiccup. “He’s not going to let it all come up at once. He wants me to suffer.”

Alec flushed the toilet for Magnus and pulled away, apologizing when Magnus protested. “Come on, you should lay down or something. At least until the next wave hits.”

Magnus placed his own hand on his belly again, shaking his head. He scooted away from the toilet and leaned against the bathtub as he rubbed his stomach. “No use. I’ll throw up again soon.”

Alec nodded and stood up, leaving the bathroom to grab a blanket off of their bed. He returned and sat back down on the floor, gesturing for Magnus to come closer. To his surprise, his boyfriend inched himself away from the tub, though their was a quizzical look on his face. When Magnus was close enough, Alec gently lowered the warlock’s head in his lap and threw the blanket over him. “Guess we’ll have to make do in here,” he said with a small smile. He resumed rubbing Magnus’ stomach as that seemed to be the only thing that helped with the cramping.

“Thank you,” Magnus said softly, closing his eyes.

Alec smiled. “Just be careful who you start prank wars with.”

anonymous asked:

viktor would be the dad that carried his babies in separate backpacks, one in front and one in back so when appropriate he'd go "YOU KNOW WHAT'S CUTER THAN ONE BABY" and spin around for the other baby like that one post

(edit: fixed Alexei’s patronymic! bless u anon!!)

Skate America, 2020

Despite what the hag says, Yuri is not at all excited to see Viktor and Katsudon’s spawns. He’s had enough of them from Viktor’s numerous Instagram posts, and honestly, babies looked the same in that they were all weird with squashed up faces. So really, he’s not at all excited to see them and he wishes that Viktor didn’t bring them along because it meant the idiot won’t be able to focus on coaching him

(The sudden transition from Yakov to Viktor is jarring, to say the least, and Yuri’s already dreading the move to Hasetsu after Skate America.)

“Ah! There he is! Yurio!” 

Fucking finally. Yuri whips around to see Viktor walking towards him with an annoying air of alpha smugness (”I procreated! Cower at my virility!” Fuck that.) that’s even more sickening in real life. There’s one of those baby slings strapped securely around his torso, Alexei Viktorovich’s familiar shock of inky black hair peeking out. 


“Did you forget the other one?” 

“What other one?” Viktor asks as he moves closer, dropping what can only be described as a leather baby bag–honestly, what the fuck–on a nearby bench. 

“What other–” Yuri splutters, already reaching for his phone to contact Katsudon and berate him for marrying an idiot and letting said idiot breed him. “Your kid! You have two, remember?!”

“Of course I didn’t forget.” Viktor laughs, before performing a twirl to show off his back, which– “Ta-da!” 

And there was Asami Yurievna, fast asleep and snuggled up to Viktor’s back.

“Gospodi. Why are you carrying your children like backpacks?” 

🎂 it’s my golden birthday, happy birthday to moi 🎂

I’ve been told to do this for like, weeks now and I am so sorry for making your ears bleed with my terrible voice. I’m sick and can’t sing for shit lmao.

And my lOVELY FRIEND WHO I DEFINITELY AM NOT GOING TO SLAP AFTER THIS IS POSTED (Sam Ily but please, let me liVE) told me to tag some of my faves in this and I’m-

@rinef @pjungkook @jeonsminssi (ily and I’m sorry for cursing youuu)


I am going HAM on the doterra BOGO sale this week… ha not really, but I am slowly replacing all my cheap oils with good quality oils. So far I have nabbed Peace and Motivate and today I grabbed Lavender and Peppermint - hoping for another good one tomorrow! Gotta love BOGO. I really want Balanced so if that’s not in the BOGO tomorrow I’m buying it anyway lol

Off to the in laws later, plus I’m signed up for the thanksgiving day class at my studio. ✌🏼

also — if you are shopping today for anything other than a daily essential you may need (tampons, soap, medicine etc) or grocery item (last minute holiday food) I am JUDGING YOU. There is no need to buy an iPad on thanksgiving. LET THE TURKEY HAVE HIS DAY.

Just be patient, please. I’m pretty busy today so I’m not going to be able to post EVERYTHING from Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade today. Also, there’s a video limit so I can only post so much. If you saw something from the instagram stories that hasn’t been posted yet, feel free to share and link me, and I can just reblog it from you later. I’m only one person, guys. I can’t do everything, lol.

Also, HAPPY THANKSGIVING GUYS have a good one!

-Dani 💕 💕 💕

brotaraft  asked:

Can you create an image compilation (or collage) of the physical contact of Star and Marco (like what you did last time) for this half of S3?

I was going to post it once the season was over, but I guess I can make a version up to the mid season finale, going to post it later.

November 22, 2017:

5 years ago I made the decision to start the coming out process. It was spurred out of a sad circumstance involving a friend taking his own life. Knowing that me not making my own decision to live my own authentic life would lead me to go down the same road.

So here I am 5 years later. A different person but in better alignment than at that point years ago. As always, still have a ways to go. But this is me today..

So since it’s Spiriter Week I thought I’d try putting my meta pants back on.

Baten Kaitos Origins’ writing is great on multiple playthroughs. There’s plenty of events and statements that mean different things once the player knows the twists the plot will take. One part in particular where this is true is in the introduction of Verus. There’s so much here that makes me squirm. So much, in fact, that this is going to be a very long post. Disorganized rambling below.

(Major spoilers for the whole game under the cut. Seriously.)

Keep reading

okay, so a lot of people always keep sending me great recs of writers here on tumblr whom i could check out and ….no offence , but why do so many of these writers  post stuff like,

 “ hey, i finished the fic update but should i post it? “

“You want me to post it now, or five minutes later?” 

“Should i post it today or do you want to wait another week?” 

Why do you do this? if you finished the thing then post it? Is someone going to say, no don’t post your stuff? What is the intention behind this crap? 

i’m sorry, i literally unfollowed  them over this because the whole conversation seems borderline narcissistic ..asdsfdgh….I’m gonna stick to writing…. i’d rather read my own stuff asdfdgh…… 

Have a nice giving thanks day!✨✨✨

Heyo guys!

Just wanted to wish you all a great day of giving thanks! I’m not big on celebrating Thanksgiving, even if I had to go to parties in the past and today, but I sure love giving thanks. So even if you don’t celebrate this day, I hope you have an amazing day!!!

I’m definitely thankful for all of you magic peeps, you guys bring me lots of joy!!!

I love you guys so much and take care!!!❤❤❤✨✨✨

-Admin Signas and the MMPP Squad

Attention citizens!!

An explosion happened in a tiny house near the outskirts of town and it is burning the surrounding grasslands and I repeat Do NOT go outside your home’s for the time being

A week later

Onyx:it’s pointless*hanging up flyers*hes been missing without a trace for days…..*walks back home*I miss my nerd..so..much

Cosmos:(is a cat due to a failed experiment)finally I’ve gotten to onyx’s house.. I just need to find a way to..*passes out*

Onyx:??? *Picks up cosmos*heh what a cute cat….I should take them inside its raining

Cosmos:*wake’s up*ughh my head…onyx?*looks at onyx*

Onyx:*crying*…I miss cosmos…..he was always there for me…I love him so much

Cosmos: don’t cry!!!*jumps onto onyx*I’m right here

Onyx:*sniffles**picks up*looks like u need some food,water,and a bath*smiles*your really cute

Cosmos:awwww stop it….wait can you understand me?*ears droop*

Onyx:*looks at a photo of him and cosmos*Any chance you’ve seen this guy?ahhh what’s the use…your just a cat and I can’t understand you anyways…

Cosmos:no don’t be sad I’m here…..it’s my fault I’m like this….my fault your sad….*crys*im sorry

Onyx:did I do something wrong little buddy?*pets*dont worry it’s ok..your going to be just fine and I’ll take good care of you

Cosmos:*purrs*you always cheer me up when I need it.thank you onyx..if only there was a way to let you know it’s me

Onyx:I’m so tired…*yawns*hopefully I can find cosmos soon…*pets*not yet..I have to put up more flyerr…*passes out*

Cosmos:I’ll find a way to tell you *sniffling* I’m sorry…I was so dumb…I shouldn’t have experimented with magic…*looks at paw*now you don’t know where I am and I’ve nearly exhausted you…*sleeps on onyx*i love you*goes to sleep*