i was going to do more but i have lots of stuff i need to be working on

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Literally falling asleep at my desk here, but #worthit! Chapter 20 at last~ And goodness we go so many places in this chapter. I am so excited I got to use this backdrop, and I am quite proud of the music at the end. Okay @unrestedjade NOW you can take a break from Tumblr. Have fun out there, write lots of words and help many plants grow <3

Expect another Overgrowth fic sometime Thursday, and FINAGLC Saturday or Sunday. Also on Saturday I’m recording something extra special which will hopefully come out next week~

ALSO this week whenever I get around to editing FINAGLC (and possibly Overgrowth as a test) I’ll be doing a live stream as I edit. @xzacloudx had the great idea of not giving a live feed of my computer audio to prevent spoilers, so I’ll see if I can get that working. So look out for those! I’ll be miked up so we can chat and stuff :D

Oh and here’s an MP3: http://www.mediafire.com/download/feac4cggv1j9bzz/FINAGLC_Chapter_20.mp3

In fucking effort to get a little more grip on the situation I have decided I’m going to make a list of small mundane tasks and chores that I want to complete before Bean is 100% baked. Things like dye my hair, nag everybody in the house to get their TDAP shot, figure out how the baby monitor works even though we probably won’t be using it for a while, get a new lightbulb for our porch light.. You know, small stuff that gives me a sense of accomplishment. It might help, who knows.

I know I’ve been talking a lot about how hard everything has been lately and I realize I sound like I’m just about to quit everything sometimes, but I’m really not about that life. Especially now, I have a little duckling that needs me to function so I really don’t have a choice in the matter. Come hell or high water, I will function for this kid and do what I need to do in order to keep it all together.

Tomorrow we have a little activity gym coming in, the only one I could find that wasn’t ridiculously expensive and also not ridiculously ugly. And we should be getting a little bathtub in tomorrow too, as well as the car seat we ordered. We decided to go with just a regular ass car seat, not one of those convertible ones. I like the idea of being able to get a sleeping baby out of a vehicle without waking him. So after we have all that here, we should be set. No other stuff needed. I got 3 different kinds of diapers so we can try which ones work well for us, we have an extra humidifier, and a boatload of little pj’s and onesies.. So when the last of the stuff gets here we’ll have all the materials to start this parenting adventure. It doesn’t seem big, but it’s another thing I can check off the list.

They’re still trying to get me to sign over custody apparently but it’s just not happening. Not only is it entirely illegal to try and extort someone into giving up guardianship of their baby, there’s also absolutely no grounds for them to even want me to do it. Plus, if for whatever reason I can’t stay in the country, that would mean I can’t legally take Silas with me as it would be considered kidnapping. And then I also wouldn’t be able to come back into the country, because our friends over at homeland security bar anyone who has ever unlawfully taken the child of a US citizen outside of the country from coming back.
Ryan is in class all week so I have half a mind driving to troop and chewing this Donnelly guy’s ass. Ryan might not be able to say whatever he wants to this guy but I sure as hell am, and if ever there was a time to go full army wife on someone it would be now. I’m still furious that this loser would even think of implying I’m not mentally stable enough to take care of my own baby. So, that might be happening. At the very least I want this asshole to know how overly complicated he has made the situation.

I feel very tired and worn down but I’m actually far from ready to roll over. Everything is going to be okay.

positivity journal

having a successful day so far

  • did job. did job things. worked full day. not unusual but hurrah. and did so without taking any meds
  • went to TSC!! got some more stuff. thrush stuff, wormer, new nylon halter (last one went with Bambi), and a stock whip I’m gonna use for lunging because ‘carrot sticks’ and most lunge whips are obnoxious for my tiny self to use. I don’t need a lot of reach or anything to get tangled up in I just need something for cues that’s a little longer than my dressage whip
  • forgot to get a lead rope oops!
  • fully intended to go to the barn and start working Zeke buuuut I have apparently lost my keys so I cannot drive anywhere lmao
  • APPLIED FOR THAT LOWER LOAN REPAYMENT SHIT thank god
  • so now i’ve done the fafsa and applied for baby loan repayments
  • which is like Half my life garbage
  • now all I need to do is figure out my medical bills

not having Bambi is garbage and awful but already it’s making my life easier ugh

My wrists are currently terrible, so for this Supercat Week, you get hastily finished old art. Unfortunately that means that it’s not as good as my more recent stuff. On the other hand, I’ve had plenty of time to think about the universes of these AUs.

So have an old AU for the Post-Apocalyptic AU Day. Not the most orthodox post-apocalyptic AU, but this was actually always gonna be post-apocalypse. The surface of the Earth is uninhabitable, and humanity has retreated to habitats under the water. As the population recovers from the apocalypse, they need to expand, deeper and deeper into the ocean. Cat is with an expedition scouting prospective sites for expansion. Meanwhile, seismic activity at the bottom of the ocean has killed large swathes of Kara’s people, deep-sea mermaids, and forced the survivors up off the ocean floor towards the surface. And there Kara and Cat meet, first contact between their two species.

anonymous asked:

If t helps anything at all, my brother is 28 and he still happily lives at home. Like he makes his own money but he just doesn't see the point in leaving if he's happy here and my parents love it too. There's a lot of pressure to be independent at like 18 but you do you, friend, take your time and don't worry about job stuff unless you really have to.

ahh thanks

and see the thing is i wouldn’t mind leaving eventually! but yeah it’s like… we’re not suuuuper well off or anything but we have a decent financial security (for now anyway), i’m not a big drain when it comes to funds, all money going towards my college right now is from fed aid, and if i really need money i can just do my best with what i get from commissions and use that for my personal purchases

idk man! i don’t mind working, i don’t mind going to college, and i really wish i COULD contribute more, but i just wish my mom could at least accept the idea that it’s not weird for someone my age to not have all their shit together or to still be living at home and not have 3 jobs just to get by

&&. hey guys, I’m really sorry for not being active at all, it’s just that I’ve been getting called in to work a lot and haven’t had much time to myself. yesterday was suppose to be my day off but they called me in after my dentist appointment. I have to be at work all day today, I’m on break right now but I gotta go back in an hour, and tomorrow they want me to go in at 4 and stay til 8:30. THEN, I gotta work in the morning on Sunday, which isn’t that bad but I probably won’t be fully active until Sunday afternoon. then I start school on Monday. I’ll be putting up a schedule for all of my blogs Tuesday afternoon or Monday night. I just want to thank you all for being do PATIENT with me, I love you all!! <3 

So I’ve seen a lot of people posting about how they’re so worried about Derek. Yes I’ll admit it does seem like he’s been smoking more than usual lately and hadn’t been getting sleep, but you guys have to understand something. Derek has been putting in a lot of work in the studio lately. The boy is basically depriving himself of sleep just to put out more music to keep his fans happy. He’s got a lot of stuff planned and I guess that he doesn’t think sleeping a lot is something he needs to do. Being as he doesn’t sleep and that he’s always in the studio he’s gonna smoke more to keep himself going. I don’t think that what he’s doing is healthy at all, but if it’s what he feels he needs to do than so be it. Now as for him being skinnier, I don’t see it. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t find that he’s any smaller than he was before. In no way am I telling you guys to stop worrying about him, I’m just saying you have to think about why he’s doing the things he’s doing and for what reason he’s doing them. In the end everything he does is for the fans. 😘

anonymous asked:

How do the four of them figure out the physical space for their belongings? Like I assume their closet is massive, but when Lexa moves in and then Raven, how do the other figure out what will go where and how much space they need and whatnot? (I live with my large family in a super small space and more family just moved in and it's been a struggle so I figured I would ask.)

It helped that they didn’t have a lot to start with. Clarke and Octavia shared that tiny apartment, and Lexa had minimal stuff. Raven fell somewhere in the middle. 

Their closet though. They’ve got the walk in, and each girl gets a quarter of it. They’ve also got a couple of dressers. And then, any other clothes, fancy clothes, seasonal clothes, that all goes in the closet for the guest bedroom.

When they first moved in they didn’t actually really have enough stuff to fill the space. Downstairs there are two bedrooms, one turned into a gym and one is Raven’s workshop. But both those spaces needed to be furnished. The living room would be pretty sparse if it weren’t for the baby grand piano Anya gave them.

It was probably harder figuring out where art went. I think at one point they just decided to let Clarke look at everything and figure out what would go where in all the communal spaces. (Each of the girls has their own space - Octavia/Gym, Raven/workshop, Clarke/studio, Lexa/office.) It’s a luxury and they know it.

I think they could have ended up with some cramped spaces, but they got rid of duplicate furniture or things they didn’t need. Raven kept her couch and put it in her workshop. They kept Lexa’s old bed and it became the guest room bed. Clarke and Octavia’s couch went to the dump, as did their bed. Raven’s bed was sold. 

The kitchen stuff is trickier. They’ve got an amalgamation of three different sets of dishes and cook/bakeware. Pretty much they’ve gone through and gotten rid of duplicates they don’t need and kept the best thing. To be honest, this was probably the most nerve wracking thing about moving in together. Getting rid of little things they’ve accumulated over the years because who needs two lemon juicers or garlic presses? But really getting rid of that second set of cookware is kind of that point of no return when you say, well no, we don’t need that because I’m staying.

It’s been a long day. Lots to do this week. I’m kind of completely exhausted but I can’t afford to rest tonight. I’m going to have some coffee, climb into the shower and then do some atomic. I’m in a really weird headspace about some personal and slightly quarter-life crisis-ish stuff but I need to focus on my studies, let my brain sort out /everything else/ as a background process in my subconscious until I’m ready to deal.


I have a meeting tomorrow, a meeting on Thursday, Atomic test to study for, data to reduce, a project to work on, an astro tutorial to finish, an astro test to study for and then I need to get my head around the fact that I’m going to Sutherland for my first, real astronony observing trip (!) in just over a week.

Ten more minutes of resting, then shower, pray, study.

Justin leaves on Thursday, like he actually has to leave and go take care of stuff back in Missouri. He said he wants to come back when he’s better for me and more prepared, which I’d hate to agree but I guess we both need to be more prepared for the move. I’m gonna miss him so much it’s not even funny, but I have the last days off before he leaves so it’s just uninterrupted cuteness from us. I know I’ve been talking a lot about him, but I’ve just been happy lately and he’s made me really happy and he makes me feel like I can do anything. I think that things happen for a reason (I’ve always said that) and hard work always pays off, and so I’m just staying as positive as I can be, trying to be financially stable again, and just try to go up from here. It’s been a different experience relying on Justin. It makes me feel good that I’m so comfortable with him and that he’s so dependable, I’ve never really put all of me into relying on someone but I feel like I can do that. Right now he’s still sleeping and I’m always up first because I’m a morning person, and I’m just gonna miss how he wraps himself around me. It’s so fucking cheesy, I’ve sounded like a fucking Nicholas Sparks novel since I’ve met him but you don’t even know how true some things are, hahah. I’m just in love, and I’m young and I’m struggling and I know who I am already which I love, I’m glad I’ve found someone who knows who I am too and we can exist together.

tomorrow i start this cool lil babysitting gig, im watching 3 kids 8am-4pm tomorrow and tuesday for 300 dollars. plus it’ll help me wake up earlier and get ready for my job next week!! im so excited and so nervous. for those of u who dont know im a full time paraprofessional/instructional assistant for special needs high school students. so i go with them to every class, take their notes if they cant, help them with all of their school work, help them with lunch, keep records of their behavior/reward good behaviors and have talks with them about things they can do better, teach them social skills, a lot of the times i feel more like a mom, i’ve even had to buy some of my students supplies, clothes, toiletries if they dont have access to them. its really rewarding and its why i want to be a teacher. so im really excited to get back to work but nervous because i have no idea what class i am in (autism, emotionally disturbed, functional ect..) i did ED last year and functional, but honestly i would be happy in any room. ((i just wanna know which one im in lol??))

So I had my operation on Thursday. Really short version: the operation itself went well, but the results were not. I have a severe, chronic disease. It’s treatable, though even doing that hasn’t been easy. I’m in a lot of physical and mental discomfort right now. I’ll still come and go here just to give myself a happy, but I’m no longer writing anything until I get better. The only exception for this is the fic I have for Rarepair Fest, which just needs to be edited and posted. I don’t have the energy to put into further writing and editing when I’m too busy making sure I’m healthy.

That’s it, more or less. For the long, fucking blunt version (aka me loathing the health system in place), see below.

Keep reading

This week has dragged. I’m exhausted and just want to sleep. Fridays are our team meetings but since my manager was out for so long she needs to catch up on stuff and she’s giving us time back. So I think I’m going to take a nap. I need a nap more than I need to work on files or do anything else and she’s pretty cool about letting us do whatever we want when we have time back. Luckily things have been a lot slower since I came back and they’ve modified some policies/expectations to actually allow us to get our work done and not just function as glorified operators. So it’s honestly not as bad as it was before. And they’ve stopped even counting the one metric I really really sucked at (”referring” people to other products) so that’s good.

That plus the fact that Isla’s first day at daycare went pretty well makes me a lot less on the verge of quitting at least.

( i think i’m going to archive this blog before the school year! i’m overwhelmed by the insane amount of followers i have and everything feels really disorganized right now. i’m going to be keeping most relationships as they are, etc. verses will remain the same, but otherwise, i really need a fresh start i think. honestly though, i have had this blog for almost 5 years now so this is pretty emotional for me… lol, but hey, it only gets better from here. i’m gonna be keeping this url more than likely or switching back to the good ol’ ‘padrx’ c’: not too sure yet. there are a lot of threads i’d like to keep! but yeah those can be discussed. as well, i’m not doing this immediately, & will probably still be roleplaying here under an archived title while i work on my new blog. like i said this is super new to me to actually FINALLY archive a blog, so if anyone could like step me through or give me some advice that would be awesome! )