Damian as a college student: My college had an orientation weekend for all the
freshmen, which is pretty common as far as I’m aware, but it pretty much felt
like summer camp for 400 some freshmen with like 100 upperclassmen running
things and I just couldn’t help thinking of what Damian would have done and
ended up writing this drabble.
everyone, I’m Hannah your O-group leader and I’d like to welcome you all to
your first semester! So what we’re going to do is some get to know you games.
First though how about we just go around the circle and say our name, where we’re
from, and one fun fact about ourselves. So my name’s Hannah, I’m from Coast
City and I spent the summer working as an intern at Ferris Air.”
continues to go around the circle and Damian learns his classmates play an
array of sports and instruments, won various awards, and come from all over the
country. By the time it gets to be his turn he has no suitable fun fact that wouldn’t
compromise his identity.
My name is Damian Wayne, I am from Gotham City and I-” am Robin, was trained to be an assassin since birth, have died and come
back, count metas and a kryptonian as my best friends, I’ve led the teen
titans, have been to space multiple times… “have a small wildlife preserve
at my house. It includes a cow, some horses, dogs, cats, a turkey, and some more
introductions conclude and they move onto the next game, something called the
Great Wind Blows. The whole circle stands and one person enters the middle,
they say something about themselves and whoever else that applies to must run to
another spot in the circle, the last one still moving ends up in the middle
next. -tt- This is ridiculous. What could
any of these people possibly have in common with myself. The first person
is a girl who introduces herself as Joan and then she recites her fact as per
the rules, “The great wind blows if you… have an adopted sibling!” Damian moves
into the center of the circle, slightly in shock. Joan takes his spot and no
one else has moved.
both have an adopted sibling?” Hannah asks kindly, trying to encourage them to
little sister, her name’s Emma. My parents adopted her when she was still a
baby and I was four but I love her to pieces.”
gulps and stares at his classmates, “I have four adopted siblings actually,
three older brothers and an older sister. Um, Richard, Jason, Timothy, and
Cassandra.” Hannah smiles and nods at him and he realizes this is his cue to
continue the game. “I’m Damian and the great wind blows if…” you are a black belt in at least one martial
art, know how to fence, speak more than three languages fluently, regularly
travel across the country… “you spend your summer on a farm or at summer
a few other teens shuffle around and whoever moved must once again explain how
it applies to them. A lot work as summer camp counselors but two others explain
they spend summers on their grandparent’s farm or uncle’s vineyard. “A family
friend is from Smallville, Kansas and his parents’ have myself, their grandson
and a few other friends come stay for parts of the summer on their farm.”
is surprised to find himself moving around the circle to things like “have a
dog”, “have a black belt”, “rides horses”, “watch Disney movie marathons with
friends”, “have inside jokes with your siblings”, “regularly prank another
member of your family”, “one or more of your best friends live in another state”.
was the most surprising was “have met a superhero”, since Hannah thought this
was interesting and practically everyone moved she had them all go around and
say which hero, herself having run into different Green Lanterns during her
life in Coast City. A lot were “Superman” or “the Flash” two excitedly said
they had both met Wonder Woman and Black Canary which prompted a side
conversation that needed to be reeled back in.
got around to Damian who grimaced, scrunched his eyes shut, and began listing
as fast as he could, “Batman, Robin, Nightwing, Oracle, Red Hood, Black Bat,
Batgirl, Red Robin, Abuse, Superman, both Superboys, the Flash, Kid Flash,
Impulse, Arsenal, Green Arrow, Speedy, Black Canary, Catwoman, Huntress, Wonder
Woman, Troia, Wonder Girl, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Miss Martian, Blue
Beetle, Supergirl, Stargirl, Doctor Midnight, Wildcat, Mister Terrific,
Ravager, Tempest, Aquaman, Doctor Fate, Raven, Beast Boy, Starfire, Cyborg and
I’m positive there’s some I’m missing…” He opened his eyes to see the rest of
the group staring at him in shock, mouths slack. He tried reclaiming an air of
nonchalance, “My father funds Batman Inc. Over the years I have met some rather
interesting people thanks to that.”
boy gave a low whistle, “Dude. You have got to tell me what it’s like meeting
Batman.” Damian just smirked as they moved on.
watching him dance in the studio then pulling you to the middle of the floor and making you dance with him
him grumbling but secretly liking it when you interrupt him dancing
“oo y/n, what are you doing here?”
“i missed you”
*pretends to be all huffy and puffy but smiles when his back is turned to you*
sleeping at the studio with him
^ including cuddling for warmth
just smiling and observing him dance
carries things for you into the apartment like groceries and bags and stuff bc he doesn’t want you to get hurt
gets butterflies when he sees you walk into the room
“how are you?”
IT WOULD TAKEN HIM A LOT OF COURAGE TO ASK YOU OUT
dongmin ends up doing it for him
“hey.. minhyuk wants to know if you want to go out with him”
his natural hands are either always placed around your shoulder or your waist, there is no other place
hE ALWAYS TRIES TO INVITE JINWOO OR DONGMIN OR MOONBIN ON YOUR DATES BUT THEY ARE ALWAYS LIKE YOU NEED TO DO THINGS FOR YOURSELF BUDDY
when he warms up to you, he’ll start to randomly visit you and randomly surprise you with coffee and wRAP HIS ARMS AROUND YOUR TORSO AND CLASP HIS HANDS TOGETHER AND KISS YOUR NECK WHILE TELLING HIM HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU
standing over your shoulder and watching your nimble fingers text him while he’s standing right there without your knowledge
likes to kiss your hand then your jawline
cleaning WITHOUT you having to ask
coming home to food already on the table
“mmm” just as he slides out your chair for you
chivalry is absolutely not dead while dating minhyuk if you haven’t noticed
minhyuk always trying to pay for food when you two dine out
buying you balloons, stuffed animals, and toys when you two are at a carnival
*he kisses you on the cheek*
he’ll always keep an eye on you even when you’re not together like texting your parents and your friends just to make sure you’re safe
yOUR SELFIES BEING SO CUTE LIKE HIM MAKING A POKER FACE AND YOU TRYING TOO BUT YOU CAN SEE HIM TICKLE YOU IN THE CORNER OF THE PICTURE SO IT ENDS UP COMING OUT WITH JUST YOU SMILING SO MUCH
him watching you sleep and thinking about how much he loves you
never taking it to the next step without your full understanding and permission
him messing with your hair like dragging it across your face randomly and playing with it
helping him style his own hair
minhyuk flipping through channels on the tv as you fall asleep laying on his chest
him then carrying you to bed and laying you down as softly as he can so he makes sure to not wake you up
waking up to him dancing in the living room
“good morning y/n!”
you just leaning against the doorframe of your bedroom in his oversized clothes and just smiling at how lucky you are to be with someone that cares as much as he does about you
Hey guys! So I took my cat to the vet today, and it turned out she has gingivitis and signs of infection, which can cause a lot of complications. She’s doing okay but she’ll need dental work, which can get pricy!
It’s not unreasonable (about $550) but unfortunately I’m also moving in a month and a half, and it’s going to be hard to afford with a minimum wage gig.
SO commissions!! In addition to the stuff you see above, I’m fine with any combination of sketch/ink and no color/flat color/full color. More art examples can be found on this blog. I also sell stickers on my redbubble (and you can also commission me to make you a sticker!)
If you want anything else, such as pixels or short comics or what have you, just ask me and I’ll give you an estimate!
I’m fine with shipping, anthro, some nsfw, OCs - just ask if you’re not sure I’ll do it.
Please email me at email@example.com if you’re interested. Reblogs and signal boosts are greatly appreciated!!
The stuff I bought for myself and asked people to help me buy in the name of Christmas presents have arrived 8D Now I have a lot of reading to do, and thanks to overtime at work every single day I may have less time to go online ;v;
Thanks to Dazai and BSD I learnt how much money I can spend on a single character and I need to control my number of favourite characters more XD
At least I support the originals and actual manga books are much better than reading online~
I’m going to my grandparents’ for Christmas weekend so I wanted to get this done first. I know, it hasn’t been a week. But there are still a LOT of fics. This fandom is prolific, you guys.
Rules: You can find past rec lists here. This is stuff I like, and I have a huge bias toward Lance, hurt/comfort, and general fluff, in that order. Gen unless otherwise noted. Please comment on the fics if you read and enjoy them!
A Gift Horse by To Be or Not to- Oh forget it (Mikki) Words: 17,801
Author’s Summary: The paladins of Voltron are the universe’s only hope, and they are ready to fight against the Galra. The only problem is, they’re one short. After stumbling their way through freeing a planet however, they might just find the solution to their problem in the form of a ‘gift of gratitude’. No one is happy about it. My Comments: Tagged as slight Klance, but reads gen. Warning for abuse, including implied sexual abuse, and slavery. So yeah. Team Voltron is “given” a Keith who has been raised as a Galra and enslaved for years. And then they proceed to absolutely bungle their handling of him. But I really liked Lance doing his best to get to know Keith as a person rather than a problem to be solved, and I find the concept really interesting. This is one of those fics where I want to write the sequel, because a LOT of work is going to need to be done to get these characters anywhere near healed after something like this.
700 Spicolion Movements Under the Sun by alexygalexy Words:
Surprise birthday party for Coran! It’s a disaster made with love.
My Comments: I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH. Everyone tried so hard. And it worked out. Mostly. Group hug at the end!
From Kids to Cats by tolkienbs Words:
Author’s Summary: The paladins have turned into cats. Allura is at the end of her rope, yet again. My Comments: The cutest crack. This fandom needs to write more animal transformation fics.
Home by kencat Words:
Lance just misses home.
My Comments: BEAUTIFUL Hunk and Lance interaction. I love them both so much.
Trial by Ordeal by To Be or Not to- Oh forget it (Mikki) Words:
Author’s Summary: They’re supposed to be two sides of the same coin, or something like that. The truth is a bit more complicated. (Character study of Keith and Lance) My Comments: This is long, but absolutely worth the effort. Warning for depictions of abuse in both parts, but it’s treated realistically and respectfully. There were parts in Keith’s chapter that I had to stop reading for a while and do something else, and pretty much everything in Lance’s chapter made me ache for him and the family he left behind. But it’s really, really good. Amazingly well-written and deep and lifelike, and it all makes so much sense, for both of these characters. I’ll be thinking about this one for a long, long time.
Where Does That Go? by alexygalexy Words:
Alfor decides its time for Allura to meet his lion.
My Comments: SO CUTE. Tiny Allura is absolutely adorable, if a bit of a brat. Just a feel-good fic.
The Ballad of Green and Blue by uncaringrose Words:
Author’s Summary: Pidge never considered Lance to be a prime choice for a friend. But, maybe, he’s not so bad. They have more in common than she thought, and he’s not as annoying as she thought. Her brother may be missing, but she may have found another one to help with the heart ache. * Or: Lance and Pidge spar and realize they enjoy each others’ company more than they first did. Snippets of their growing friendship. My Comments: Background Klance and Shallura, but the focus is on Pidge and Lance and their seemingly unlikely friendship. I LOVE it. I really want them to have this kind of relationship in the show.
Serendipity by DarkScales Words:
The ironic thing was, they hadn’t even been looking for them when they found them. (AKA, that future fic where Pidge finds Sam and Matt Holt, completely by accident. And the two are already in the middle of freeing themselves and the rest of the prisoners with them, because the Holt family is awesome.)
My Comments: Aw, a Holt reunion fic! It’s fantastic. I want this so much.
Pidgey-back Ride by darkinsanity13 Words:
It really wasn’t all that odd to find Pidge sleeping in weird places, often draped over her latest tech project or with one sitting nearby. That’s why one day when Keith wandered into the Red Lion’s hanger to see Pidge laying over one of the consoles, clothes and hair rumpled and softly snoring, he wasn’t terribly surprised at the sight.
My Comments: Keith and Pidge sibling-type relationship is also good! Very cute fic.
Space Dad of the Year by sonofthestars Words:
If there is one thing stable in the paladins’ lives it would be Shiro’s support. AKA Shiro comforts the other paladins when they are sad.
My Comments: What it says on the tin. The beautiful, lovely, comforting tin.
Your Sister Calls Me Daddy by nerdiekatie Words:
Author’s Summary: Part of my Voltron Drabble series, which you can also find on my tumblr. “'Fuck!’ he says hurriedly. 'Fuck,’ he groans again, hiding his face in his hands. 'I didn’t mean it like that. I meant she calls me dad, they all call me dad.’” My Comments: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Robo Mouse by earthstar Words:
It wa a robot mouse. It was blue and white, stood up to Hunk’s knee, had tiny little doors for some tiny furry pilots, and the little helicopter blades on it’s back indicated it could also fly. Hunk could not find the words.
My Comments: I LOVE taking weird stuff from Go Lion and forcing it into Voltron: Legendary Defender. Fun little fic.
a hunk of burning love by smokesque Words:
Author’s Summary: pidge has always found company in the silence between words that were never really sincere. for the first time, they find it in the voices of other people. or; that one time hunk and lance thought it would be a good idea to sing elvis presley at four am (and pidge’s prayers were answered). My Comments: Pre-series Garrison Trio! They’re so TINY and ADORABLE.
oh rainy day, come around by raytalities Words:
Apparently the cryo-pods can’t cure the common cold. For a change, Shiro finds himself on the receiving end of being looked after.
My Comments: This fic hits the spot. Like chicken soup.
The Space Between Grief And Trust by borrowedphrases Words:
During a restless night, Keith shares memories with Red.
My Comments: This is wonderful, and so well-written. I adore fics where the paladins bond with their lions, and this is a very cool one. My heart ached for both of them.
It’s My Party (I’ll Cry If I Want To) by nerdiekatie Words:
Author’s Summary: Time passes, even in space. Missed birthdays are celebrated, even if they bring up issues. Allura realizes exactly how old our paladins are. Lance jolts up and looks at Hunk. 'Dude, we missed your birthday!’ Hunk jabs his finger at Pidge’s laptop. 'Yours is tomorrow!’ Shiro smiles. 'Congratulations, boys. You should celebrate.’ My Comments: Bittersweet, in the best way. This was equal parts cute and sad, very much like the show can be. I loved it.
Previously Recced Fics That Updated This Week Last Few Days:
Akui Chansera, Blue (SakamakiHouse), Scurumi, Francette (epithetologist), Rox/Rex (the-precious-sugar-chan). (I haven’t named all all of them, because I don’t know all of them :( But this is about ALL DL translators anyway ).
Respect toward them is very important! Let’s remeber that they are fans aw well, but they help other fans with their hard work. Translating is not that easy and I bet there’s a lot of people here who does not speak Japanese, so… really guys! Respect translators! Without them we wouldn’t be able to learn about the story that much!
Recently, Iwitnessed haters going on anon asks and push translatora to do more and more translations. But we need to remember that they have their personal life! They have lots of other different stuff to do and people who think that they should only translate should think again.
Just imagine, that you are a translator and people send you so many requests and finally you don’t know what to do fisrt and still have you own life (school, work, personal problems). Asks pill up and you lose your patience. It starts to be depressing, but you’re still nice and polite to other fans and try to please them… Now if you put yourself in translators shoes than you should know it’s a hard work (plus it’s 100 Times worse than you imagined since imagination is not reality and people won’t still fully understand traslators until they become one of them).
!!! TRANSLATORS ARE GOLD IN THIS FANDOM !!!
They don’t take our money or anything. They do it for the whole fandom and sometimes people won’t even notice, like “Oh, there’s a translations *reads* *leaves tumblr* ” and should be like “OH! MY! GOD! Somebody is finally tanslating!! I looove this person, let me see her/his blog! *becomes a stalker (a nice and harmless stalker xD) * ”
Next time if you say that TRANSLATOR’S are REPLACEABLE or should ONLY TRANSLATE WHAT YOU WANT then please leave this fandom…. or just at least stay quiet!
One more thing about DL fandom (not ranslators related):
There’s a lot of hate and disrespect!
What we want to stay in is a fandom welcome to everybody but some people would rather send hate toward the others. This is wrong. We’re all in DiaHell and what we need is respect other fans. I’m not telling people to start love each others if they purely dislike, but all I’m asking is respect.
I always try my best to stay aside and be quiet but now I really need to write it. This note is not a hate note toward other fangirls. Not at all !!!! I love you all because we are in DL fandom together. But we should sometimes think before acting. I belive that we can make this fanodm a better place. It’s sad that so many nice and polite people leaves it and rude people would stay and keep on sending hate.
Please respect the other fans (and translators among them/us)!
I mean yeah. Free Speech doesn't mean everybody has to tolerate your shit. That just means that the government can't sue you and put you to jail for what you say. But I still don't see how it's possible to control this without outright going to censorship. It's either that or "suddenly every single asshat disappears and only nice people are left".
i wanna advocate more for kids to be introduced at a young age to the concepts of self respect, boundaries, and acknowledging that other people also have their own boundaries and everything you do with others impacts them, both good and bad.
i also want to encourage people of all ages to adopt more considerate thinking of the ramifications of what they do and how it affects others. it’s more “work” to have to think of people’s feelings every time you interact, but it is good preventative work that keeps a lot of hurt from happening, and compared to the work that would need to be done to make amends later i think it’s a good investment.
and being perfect isn’t what’s being asked. being self aware, considerate, and willing to make amends is a process and something that takes some learning. so long as a person is willing to go through that process, they’re doing pretty good.
your personal freedom should not be at the expense of others’. if we all want to enjoy freedom, we must also respect the freedom of others and their own boundaries. when you act just for yourself, you are wholly free. but every interaction that involves other people comes with responsibility in how you handle that interaction.
So! Quick notice that I might move back to semi-regular posting, since I feel my current “I’ll do it whenever” method turns into “I’ll do it never.” I made a few touch-ups to the battle system, because really, I’m still trying to figure out how to approach that aspect of the game.
So there’s that! You might also noticed that the protagonist’s portrait is a bit different - I changed the design a little, but it’s basically just a color swap:
I felt like the original color scheme was too light and needed more contrast, so here’s that change. I might also get a multiple parallax script or something going because I am not too happy with that background :\
Helluw lovelies, I hope you’re all doing great!!! :3
I just wanted to let you all know that I won’t be very active… Like not at all, and I don’t know if I will keep this account… Ye, there is a lot going on in my life at the moment, both good and bad things. So I’m not going to use tumblr anymore.. or at least not in a good couple of months.
So I hope all of you will have it great and thank you sosososo much for the support and being so kind and generous with your love <333
I know how do you feel 7... I mean by Example i feel that my animations are not good, because i wanted it more Smooth or more over expresive but those things come with time and Hard work, you only need drawn more Doodles every day on your Sketchbook, like Weird faces or animal or Backgrounds... EVERYTHING THAT COME TO YOUR MINT (?) Maybe in one week you will see better results and in one point in your life you will say "I do this? LE HOW!?"
Yeah, I get that.
Actually I wanted to go to college to learn how to be an animator… but… I realized that I do not have the patience of an animator o-o
Though I might go ahead and try to do more animations again…
But yeah, I would love to do that… but I got a lot of stuff to do with my master courses. And when I get free time - I rather do something that I want to really do to relax than want to do to learn. =_=
Hey Hey Hey! Sidney here, updating you all on my hair routine because I have so many projects to work on for school and I thought this would be the perfect time to ignore everything and be on tumblr. Of course. So let’s just get into it. A lot has changed, which is why I haven’t really been answering hair questions..I was still trying to figure out things for myself! Ok, lets go:
First things first: Wash! I wash my hair once a week in the morning with this stuff. I get it from target. super cheap and you get a whole lot of product! It’s great. For those of you that aren’t familiar with co-washing: it’s basically one part shampoo, two parts conditioner. So, while you are washing your hair, you’re doing more moisturizing than anything. That’s what your hair needs! moisture! Traditional shampoos just strip all of the natural oils from your hair and that’s totally no bueno. (if you have a problem with frizz, this could be your answer)
Now, since I only wash my hair once a week, and you’re supposed to deep condition once a week, that’s what I do! Ok..I’ve raved about this product a million times…but this will seriously transform your hair. I just….I just can’t. Trust me. You’ll love it. While my hair is eating up the goodness of this product ill detangle it with a wide tooth comb or just with my fingers.
You better not reach for a regular bath towel!!! No No No! That thing is horrible for split ends! Invest in a microfiber towel just for your hair. Actually, It’s so soft that I picked up a few more for my face. You never want to be too rough on your hair or face right?! Right. I don’t dry my hair completely because the products that I use work better with wet hair. I just keep it so my hair does’t drip everywhere.
Once I’m out the shower, I give my hair an extra detangling. For one, this product gives my hair a lot of moisture. Mostly, it creates a lot of slip, which keeps my hair detangled (for the time being) and helps to make sure that all of my products go on too my hair evenly. I get this from target.
This product right here is my baby. Curl and style milk. I can never live with out it. I give my hair a generous amount of this. Locks in moisture and curl. Perfect. Target….duh.
Bang Bang. Moving on to the smoothie. I pretty much treat this in the same way that I do the milk in the previous step. I give my hair a pretty generous amount…but not as much as the milk…if that makes sense to you. Le Target.
This is next! haha. I actually just started using this but I think I like it so far. It really does give my hair a nice shine and makes it look healthier than what it is. I never use a lot though because if you use too much it can get a little oily. Just lightly coat your hair with this and that’s it! (I mean, that’s it for this product..there’s still more to go haha) Target, again.
You just put all that moisturizing yummy stuff in your hair and now you have to make sure that it stays like that! Lock it in there good! I used to use the Kinky Kurly Custard..and it was great. But it was getting too expensive for a small amount of product so I went searching for an alternative. This guy works just as well! The one thing that I love is that I haven’t ever reached a point of “using too much” of this product on my hair. With the Kinky Kurly product, I had to be suuuuper careful because that stuff can make my hair rock hard in a split second. But I find that with this Gel souffle, no matter how much I use, I always come out with a soft, strong hold on my curls. It’s lovely. From target!
After this, give your hair some time to suck up all of this product. I usually wait for about an hour. That’s just enough time for me to do my make up, get dressed, eat breakfast, and make my lunch.
Once I’ve waited for about an hour, I diffuse my hair. Now…I ran away from this device for a while because I thought it just gave my hair frizz. but that waiting an hour before you diffuse your hair thing is wonderful. It changes lives. I don’t like to diffuse all the way though. Just about until my hair is 60-70% dry. Then I’ll just let the rest air dry for the rest of the day. Since I live in Houston and I like big hair, the humidity works in my favor. Basically I diffuse to help lock in the curl more before I step out into the real world. Target, always.
Then, mid-day, I’ll pull out my pick from my purse of wherever and start going at it! (your hair should be 100% dry by now) This creates even more volume! I always have my pick on me for quick lifts, if I feel like I need it. I stole this from my dad haha. I’m sure you can get this at a beauty supply store. Or that “Ethic hair” section in grocery stores.
Eventually night time will roll around and you have to figure out how to sleep and not ruin your masterpiece. I picked up this do-rag hair bag thingy from my local beauty supply store. It’s really just a satin bag, haha. I just put my hair in this thingy every night to keep my curl in place throughout the week. I also sleep on a satin pillow for extra protection (incase this thing falls of) but I guess if you’re wearing this, that can be totally optional.
After this intensive wash day, for days 2-7ish I’ll just touch up with either the milk, smoothie, or gel souffle. For my hair though, touch ups aren’t really needed until day 4.
And that’s it! I hope I answered all of the dying questions. If there are any more, feel free to shoot me a message. I’m so tired now though…long ass post haha.
Alright, so I’m still gonna be taking requests but I’m gonna let you guys know I’m only going to do 13 more characters! I need to get working on some other stuff, and I think I’ve gotten a good chunk of characters done so far. If you’ve already made a request and haven’t seen it yet, your all good! 13 may seem like a weird number, but with the requests I already have I’ll have about 2 more complete batches before I take a break. I’ll make another post in a bit with these slots and the characters I’ll be drawing next that I’ll be updating with each request so you guys will stay updated and know when there’s no more slots left.
I’m not done yet, but I just want to thank all you guys for making requests and participating! It’s been great stretching my artistic muscles and drawing all these wonderful characters, most of witch I hold really close to my childhood. So, thank you all, and I hope to do more request type stuff in the future!
If you want to make a request, check it out here for more info!
Doing a bit of job hunting today. I followed up on some contacts R sent me from his previous work, so hopefully that comes through and I’ll have something to do on the weekends. Meanwhile I’m looking for other related stuff and updating my CV so it’s ready to send out… and it’s a bit depressing. I’ve accumulated a lot of paper (two degrees, and one more on the way) over the past 7 years but not really anything tangible to show for it. And there’s also a noticeable gap where I wasn’t really doing anything, mostly due to mental health issues. I need some guidance as to how to address this so it doesn’t look bad, so I’m going to make an appointment with the uni’s careers centre to have a chat about what I can do about it.
Honestly, looking through all the things I’ve “accomplished” so far is a bit of a downer, but I’m finally doing the right thing for myself and I need to be able to look past what I perceive as “wasted time”.
As you can imagine, I haven’t been all that active here in forever. I love Psyn to bits, and that’ll never change at all, but unfortunately working on an OC blog in a community that just over-all doesn’t often give OC’s a go takes up a lot of my time to try and get stuff rolling. I just don’t have the time to devote adequate work towards Psyn, and to develop an entire world around him as he’s very much an individual character, more than directly tied to some aspect of what we already know of the world.
It’s always this daunting task of ‘I would need to write this and this and this and explain this and that’ when I think about coming back, and while I understand a lot of people already do this with no problem, I just don’t have the emotional/mental capacity to be one of those people, but I have oodles of respect for those who do.
So for now, I’m just closing this blog. In the future I may return one day, as over time my health slowly begins to over-all improve and I pick up my pace in hobbies again, but for now it’s just easier to put this out of sight, out of mind. Even the knowledge that this blog exists and is ‘open’ gives me a degree of anxiety, so closing it is one less place for anxiety to fester.
Thank you for all those who wrote with me or showed interest in my muse, as it is very touching honestly, and thank you for all the good memories!
Today was good. I felt pretty focused today and have been eating lots of healthy and tasty stuff. I started some drawing and painting, I think I am finding energy. I kind of wish I didn’t have to stop working to go to sleep but I really want to wake up at 6am tomorrow so should get rested. night.
I did lots of admin and prepared a soup to last me all week (grandma’s recipe). I did all the small stuff that I need to do the bigger stuff.
I feel like this should be the last place I should be reaching out. I’m in some stupid slump. I don’t want to do anything and I have so much to do. I have a scholarship due tomorrow. I have stuff for classes I have to get done today because I have clinical tomorrow which takes up all my time. I need to workout. I can’t focus and I feel like the soul is getting sucked out of me. I at the point of having to talk myself into going to work in the parking lot there and have been late a couple times already. I feel like I’m one more mean patient away from having a mental breakdown there. I’m sick of being talked down by old white men. And all on top of this my parents are in counseling which is ineffective and my mom already has plans for divorce for years and my dad doesn’t want to change his own ways. My mom is just waiting on my sister to graduate and for me to have a steady job because she’s going to have to fall back on me for a while. My dad has been absent in my life for 13 years and really has been no father figure ever. I’m supporting myself and doing all I can to pay for $21,000 in tuition. Getting aid is a absolute nightmare because I have to get him off my income info because he does absolutely nothing to support. Nothing. Absent for 13 years and I was surprised he showed up to my HS graduation in 2014. Has no sense of encouragement or anything. My mom is stuck in the same job situation I am in with people just being assholes. I feel like I am fighting like hell and getting nowhere. My friends have their own shit to deal with and I don’t think they would ever come to help me. Even though I would be right there if they had this going on. I feel like I’m unlovable because I have extreme trust issues with men. I also never had a good example of a healthy relationship in my life. I was sexually molested when I was 9 years old by a distant family member. I was bullied throughout high school because I was not ever skinny. I just feel like I am dying inside and I hate when this happens.
I was tagged by @sunsetofdoom THANKS ILY I think basically you write about the stuff your working on right now so here we go. I’m going to stick it under the cut because it’s probably going to get a bit lengthy. All the fan things I’m working on right now, in no particular order:
Time sensitive-- I can't get out of bed and it's 7:30pm and i have so much homework tomorrow and a test and I can't get myself to do it I can't focus and I can't even get myself to start and I keep crying and everything is worth a lot. Do u have any tips for me? I really need to finish everything
That’s rough, love, and I know exactly what you mean :/ Here’s what I’ve done in the past, but I have to admit that I don’t have a perfect solution.
Take a nap. Set an alarm so you wake up at like midnight and work on stuff, but sometimes you feel better/more focused after sleeping.
Let yourself cry it out. Forcing yourself to stop crying isn’t productive.
Eat something. Drink something. Just get up and go do something that isn’t your homework. Once you have momentum going, it gets easier.
Tumblr/Netflix probably aren’t good ideas. You get sucked in and lose track of time. They can be great distractions, though, and if you need to get your mind off of something, go for it.
Break everything into smaller pieces. If you could only get one thing done tonight, what would it be? Start with that. Forget about everything else until that first thing is done.
Ask a friend for help. I don’t advocate copying homework, but sometimes you need to for your mental health. Just don’t do it very often, your friends won’t like that.
Remember that none of these assignments or tests will matter 10 years from now. One bad semester isn’t going to irreparably damage your future.