i was going through old messages

Going to try and make this account active again

With losing my grandma almost two year ago, work, pregnancy, and now a four month old, Tumblr hasn’t been much of a thought to me, but recently I’ve been missing it and all my lovely followers who I used to interact with.

SOOO feel free to message me so we can chat and possibly be “Tumblr besties” :) most of the people I used to talk to on here I’ve lost touch with, but I hope all is well with them. They helped me through a challenging time back in 2013 and I’m forever thankful for that.

Also, I will need people to queue from so either like this post or message me and we can do a “queue for queue”

Thanks babes! xoxo

anonymous asked:

I don't get it. Why are you so nice to everyone? People online that treat you like garbage aren't going to change, but you never get angry. You never attack them. What's the point? You'll never see them. You don't know them. Why do you care so much about being nice?

What? Who treats me like that?? Lol you don’t know who’s messaging me, where they’re coming from, how old they are, what they’re going through. No one deserves mistreatment. If they come off as crass, who cares? I’m comfortable enough with myself and I am constantly boosted and supported by so many other people and messages to not really be phased by how they word their messages, and everyone deserves to be treated fairly. Respect begets respect and that’s how I’ll always try to live my life. I highly recommend it!

Every year when January rolls around I have the urge to simplify – to start the new year fresh and clean and uncluttered. This doesn’t mean getting rid of everything (I’m faaaar from being a minimalist), just getting rid of the things that weigh you down. So, here’s the unofficial guide to simplifying without going full-on Marie Kondo. 

physical clutter

What’s the area in your room that stresses you out when you see it? Start there. A few quick tips on how to clean specific areas:

closet

  • Take allll your clothes out of your closet, wardrobe, or dresser
  • Put the things you know you’re keeping back in right away – your favorite jeans, that black dress you wear all the time, etc
  • Once you’re left with just the ‘maybes’, try every item on.
  • If you wouldn’t buy it all over again, it should probably go.
  • Don’t just toss what you don’t want, though! Donate it to a local thrift store, charity, or church with a community closet.

desk + shelves

  • Again, start by completely clearing off your desk and study area.
  • Go through your binders and make sure everything is in it’s correct place
  • Migrate materials from old classes into files out of the way if they’re important, or toss them if you won’t use them again.
  •  Make sure everything has a home – pencils should be in a bag or mug, papers in files or trays, and notebooks neatly stacked.
  • Make a point to clean your desk regularly!
  • If you have supplies you don’t need, donate them! Let’s be real – you have way more pens than you could ever use.
  • Books are also a wonderful thing to donate! Your local library or thrift shop would be my top pick. 
  • If you still have old textbooks laying around, list them on your school’s bulletin board to sell, since most thrift shops won’t accept them. 

under your bed

  • Let’s be real: most all of this can go. Grab a trash bag and toss anything that’s not important.
  • You can get one of those rolling tupperware under-the-bed organizers, or just stick what has to stay under there in a thin  cardboard box.
  • Be sure not to leave things loose under there, or you may end up with some unwanted pals living under there ~

digital clutter

I don’t know about you, but I feel like I have a lot of digital clutter. It’s so easy to build it up and forget about all that you have stored on your computer!

  • Go through your phone and delete photos you don’t need, apps you don’t use, and old messages. 
  • Do a major computer overhaul! Delete old files and programs so that you have more space.
  • Put all your files into folders so that they’re easier to find later on.
  • Take a look through your friends and following lists, and delete all those people that post negative things.

mental clutter

This is the big one. Mental clutter comes from all of the above, plus just living your life. Some tips for decluttering your mind:

  • Do a nightly brain dump. Before you get into bed each night, open up your journal and write down everything that’s on your mind. Once it’s on paper, you can let it go until the morning. 
  • Find relaxing habits to practice everyday: yoga, taking a warm bath, going for a run, etc
  • Practice mindfulness or meditation
  • Keep a planner!
  • Practice not letting yourself harbor bad thoughts
  • Stay away from negative people if you can. You don’t need negative attitudes to be adding your already stressful life!

simplify your schedule

  • Learn to say ‘no’ more – if you don’t want to go to your friend’s-cousin’s-niece’s dance recital, don’t.
  • Streamline your daily routine;
    • Get ready faster by nixing the makeup you don’t love to put on and finding quick and easy hairstyles
    • Make an outfit idea board on Pinterest and fill it with outfits that you can make from pieces you already have in your closet so you spend less time finding an outfit 
    • Cook meals in advance when possible, or stick an easy meal in the crockpot before you leave for the day
    • Tidy every room just a bit before you leave it, so that you don’t have to devote an hour to cleaning it later on
  • Make time for you each week
  • See if there are any chores that you can outsource (eg, some grocery stores will shop for you for free, all you have to do is order online and go pick it up)
  • Don’t feel like you have to participate in something you don’t enjoy. If you don’t love the sport, don’t play it

I hope you all have a very simple and relaxing year, good luck to you all!

this years holocaust remembrance day is very important, given the current political climate. take today to remember the horrifying acts committed against jewish and romani people. take today to recognize the beginning of those same acts forming against PoC in america today. take today to resist those in power however you see fit, and after today, dont stop resisting. i am a jew still personally affected by the holocaust even 2 generations later. every jew is affected by the shoah, but there is a special pain to know what happened to your own family. or worse, not knowing what happened to the unknown people you see in old family photographs. we as a people will never be the same. remember the holocaust today. dont let this happen again.

Hello I am remaking my blog and to celebrate I’m going to do a peach-tastic giveaway to thank all my followers for sticking with me and to maybe make some new friends!

the fabulous prizes

  • tonymoly peach punch sweet foam cleanser
  • tonymoly peach lip balm 
  • too faced sweet peach eyeshadow palette 
  • too faced sweet peach lip oil in the shade of your choice
  •  embroidered peach tee shirt from urban outfitters in your size (not pictured)
  • enamel peach pin (not pictured)

ground rules

  • you must be following me @peachtrick
  • each reblog is an entry! likes don’t count. reblog as much as you’d like without being annoying to your followers
  • no giveaway blogs please
  • this ends on 9/1/17
  • for extra entries you can follow my girlfriend @cherrysinners and follow my instagram @/taylorthemorris. please send me a message if you follow either of these accounts.
  •  If you follow my insta please like my photos and be an active follower
  • if this does not get a minimum of 1,000 notes I will not go through w the giveaway because I will be spending my own money on this and I want their to be real interest 

Alright everyone I’m so excited to post this and to start this new blog! I haven’t been “peachtrick” in over a year and I’m so happy to finally have my old URL back!!! Send me any questions you have please!!!!!

Work Stress - Carl Gallagher

Request: Do you think you could do an imagine where the reader and Carl are getting suuuuper intimate (smut intended) and Carl is very dominant and possessive in bed. He likes using the phrases “baby girl” and “damn ma” (kinda like from his gangster phase).

Warnings: smutty, fluffy lil Carl, dominant Carl

Pairing: Carl Gallagher x Reader

Word Count: 1257


Note: This is my first smut imagine, so I’m sorry if it’s extremely cringy.

——————————–

I had been at work all day and I was exhausted to my core, I wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep but before I even got the chance to step out onto the curb of the street I got a message from Carl asking me to come over to his “crib”. He had been going through this gangster phase for a while now, although he acted tough he was still the same old Carl to me only with a different hairstyle. I had told him a countless amount of times to take his cornrows out but he never listened to me, he always just shrugged it off and told me that he liked them.

I had been working at one of the new coffee stores that had just been built in town, everyone had been giving me shit about it saying that I was ruining the south side. But a girls gotta work and they were hiring, so I guess I’m destroying the south side.

Keep reading

Laura’s goodbye

Hello petals, yesterday and today I talked with Laura about why she decided to delete her blog. 

I understood her reasons and I agreed (ofc, duh) to post this message on her behalf. Now I beg you, please read her words, for she really, really wanted to let you all know why she did such a thing. 

What you’ll read it’s extremely important and I hope you can find a bit of time to think about her reasons and the whole situation concerning our fandom and the relationship between writers and readers. 

I’m sure we all will miss Laura, because she was not only a great writer but also a lovely, beautiful person <3

So, without further ado, these are Laura‘s words for you.


Hello guys! It’s Laura (previously @pantaemonium-deactivated2017062).
First of all I want to thank my dear Conny for allowing me to post this on her blog. I really wanted to have a chance to say goodbye to you. 

Many of you will be wondering what happened, how did someone who had just posted that morning and gave no sign whatsoever that she was going to leave… actually left with no explanation at all. Truth be told, I had been thinking about deleting for the longest time. As time passed, I felt more burdened, more pressured to write Fallout, or create contents you would like instead of going for the stories I wanted to write and, at some point I could no longer write a word of the many stories I had started out of an impulse. For someone whose only way of expressing herself is writing, this was devastating and it was taking a great toll on my mental health I was not willing to face for the sake of my blog. 

Keep reading

LET FOOD BE THY MEDICINE🙏🏼🌿✨🍉 many of you might not know, but I am type 1 diabetic - diagnosed when I was 9 years old. Through this, I learnt what a huge impact what you eat has on your health & wellbeing and have become incredibly passionate about using food as medicine, not only to prevent and cure disease, but also manage conditions like mine. Being the determined person I am, I always had good control of my diabetes, but since going vegan, I’ve seen SO many improvements. I’m eating more carbs than ever - yet needing less insulin: the exact opposite to what people are taught to believe.
My dream is to help other people and spread this message, and two amazing guys already doing that are @mindfuldiabeticrobby and @mangomannutrition ~ I wanted to mention this because they are holding a FREE Online Diabetes Summit this week, with incredible expert guest speakers and a WEALTH of knowledge + resources🙌🏼
If you have or know anyone with diabetes (type 1 or 2) or just want to learn more, go check out the link in their bio and sign up!! Thank you so much Cyrus and Robby💛

IG: @naturally_nina_

Life update!

Why have I not told you guys already!?!

Ok, so the last week was a shit storm all in itself, which I will get onto in a moment, however I want to talk about something else first. Myself.

How selfish am I? Well, its important!  I have finally quit my job which has caused me to be miserable for the past 3 and a half years. Dealing with complaints has made me into a miserable person with the worst outlook on life. And I haven’t quit with no idea of what I want to do. For once in my life I have a plan. I want to work in TV Production. That my dream. I hate saying this out loud. People ask what I’m now doing with my life and I have to admit this, and they look at me like ‘aw thats cute - but you need a real job’ Fuck those guys. I have no idea how I’m supposed to pursue this dream, but I’m going to try. If anyone knows anyone who can help, I will love you forever. I know in this line of work its more about who you know than what you know. Seriously, I will go for anything. Anyway, thats my future dreams and ambitions laid out for the word to know.

In more recent times I have been called out for apparently being homophobic and an awful human being. In the past few days this has died off, but I have no doubt it will come back. In essence these people have been hunting through my old posts and reblogging ones which I should never have posted with sassy ass gifs and then sent me shitty anon messages. Right, firstly the posts they found are old. This does not exempt their content from scrutiny but I feel that I should be highlighted to the fact these 2/3 year old posts still exist and give me a chance to realise my mistakes. These people never spoke to me. They just berated me with hate and how awful I was. They have obviously never seen all my posts. I’m not claiming to be perfect, but fuck me, I am not homophobic, transphobic neither do I have any other negative feeling towards how others choose to live their lives. I am very liberal. I want people to be themselves. As long as they are respective, and nice to others I couldn’t care less what your gender identity was, sexuality, religion, race etc. I don’t care. Just don’t be an asshole. These anons made it out to be like I was the worst human being on the planet and I was the shit stain of all fan blogs. I have over come them. I don’t care what they say. I know who I am and who my audience are. I have lost followers because of this but if they can’t see past the anon bullshit then its their own fault.

I’m not perfect. But thank you for following and supporting me anyway,

Heres to the next chapter in my life, with you guys in it.

Oosh out
Thank you for existing 

Give me 2 weeks...

Hey guys, I feel like I should’ve put this up like, probably a month ago but eh, better late than never I guess. 

Anyway, I’m pretty sure you’ve noticed the lack of update recently save for a few fan submissions. What I’m going to say isn’t really anything new, but yeah, school’s taking quite a toll on me, so much so that I just don’t have the drive to actually draw any Hamiltots or to answer asks. And if I come onto the blog, I’ll just feel guilty because I’m getting to any of your questions. 

Don’t get me wrong, Hamiltots isn’t stopping, it’s just probably going to be on hold for a while. A hiatus I guess. But only for two weeks, at most a month. Hopefully, once I’m done with school, I’ll get my drive back to draw more Hamiltots. The ask box and submissions would be closed for the time being (cuz I’m afraid of feeling overwhelmed with asks still piling up.) 

Thanks again, so much for sticking around, guys. And to all the new people who followed recently, sorry you joined at such a slow period of time. 

This picture should give you a better idea of what I’m going through at the moment. 

Fun fact: I’m 23 years old and I’m studying animation at an art college.

And that’s not some random anime character, my hair actually looks like that. I also have an actual jacket like that.

Edit: If you still want to see me post art and school stuff other than Hamiltots, you can follow me on Instagram. It’s Cattlingarts_

Keep reading

5

WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH THESE MESSAGES OMG I’M JUST VERY HAPPY TO HEAR ALL OF THIS!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! HUHU (ㅠ ♡ ㅠ)

honestly being able to make you all happy by doing what i love doing is suuuuch an honor for me!!! i’m relieved that my art can reach out to you all!!!!!!!! i’m going through very difficult things irl but reading your messages really made me smile and i sincerely thank you all from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to tell me all of these!!!! i hope you guys continue to brighten people’s day like this!!!

i’m so happy that you all enjoy my art, my 5-year-old sense of humor and that you guys love my akihikos!! i’ll keep delivering him for as long as i love him, which is a VERY long time ♡ ~(‘▽^人) nyahaha

anonymous asked:

But that's the thing: he's 23 years old. It's absolutely NOT the age at which you've got your image figured out. he loves thinking he's a rockstar (and, frankly, he's super good at it), he IS humble, he CAN be pretentious, all those things are HIM. let him grow, let him figure things out and make mistakes. absolutely do call him out on shitty things, but i don't think that expecting him to act in one smooth way is reasonable.

A normal 23 year old absolutely gets to go through this and figure things out. The thing is he isn’t a normal 23 year old, but his team is supposed to protect him from that and help create a cohesive image/message, and they aren’t. They are exposing at least three different versions of him right now, and it’s made a mess.

i’m going on a semi-hiatus

oh look, here goes ashley making another hiatus post bc she’s overwhelmed nothing new 

hi guys. i’m sure if you’ve followed me for a while, you’ve realized how completely out of the loop/inactive i’ve been when it comes to tumblr/the phandom.

if you give a shit to know why i’m going on semi-hiatus, then read under the cut, bc this shit is going to be long. 

if you don’t care, just please reblog to spread the message. 

Keep reading

{ five’s company // ch. 20 }

tags: @max-evergreen @fangirlwithasweettooth @smolmaxi13 @amazing-5sos-inof @yournotsosimpledemon @aceattorneytrash8 @itsallexmallory @vengessdevin @thenoveljunkie @addiethequeen4 @star-trek-supernatural @ladyliberty7476 @mikeywayisapegasus @imalittlebean @littleblue5mcdork @demi-godamit @dilsphan1029 @patron-saintof-sluts  @toonerzchatz @promisesandmore @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit @itsallexmallory @itsallexwriting @impala-moose @jaydiggs1218 @fierydaemon @slightlysouless @jzzyjones@wiindmill@whitestorm547@hamilturnt@littleblue5mcdork @arostrolgy @mcgrammer15 @fanagelbagel @moonchildcharm @itsareyouforreal @sweaterkitty-fluff @theoverlordofeverything @laurenshtml @lawnmowerswig @lafeyettegunsandships @silvershadow56 @goldensabriel @kanadianwithashippingproblem @picklessfights @hamiltrash-life @sadeyestommo @dont-be-petty-be-peggy @thedevilopposedmyaddictions @chipslaylove  @spacenerd3 @onelastfic @zappyheart @mycroftswife @hamrevolution @alienboymax  @kbgw1233-blog @pretztato-cake @aprilyn

inbox || masterlist


twenty.

“Do you need anything, sugar?” Herc asked you, calling you over the phone. You balanced your phone between your shoulder and your ear, trying to listen to him over the business of the office. “I know you were feeling sick this morning. Did you still go in for work?”

Your pregnancy had been up and down. Some mornings were a little tougher than the others. Laf assured you that it was all normal. Everything he had suggested had helped so you felt okay enough to come in.

“Yeah. I’ll rest when I get home.” You mumbled sheepishly. “Hey,“ You almost hung up, but then you remembered. “Can you get ice cream on the way home? And those pretzels I like?“ 

Herc chuckled, double checking to make sure he had his keys. "Course. John and Alex will be home a little later, but Laf will be home, okay?" 

“Mkay.” You hummed. Hercules smiled a little. You must have been a little busy. Your sentences were getting shorter. 

He was pleasantly surprised when you said, "Hey, I love you, Herc." 

He smiled, felt his heart warm up a little. "I love you too. Call the studio if you need me. See you later." 

“Bye, love.”

Keep reading

5

Jerome x Reader

Warnings: Strong language, violence, almost murder?

Part One   Part Two  Part Four  Part Five


“I don’t know where he went Jim.” You snapped, glowering at the man who had been keeping tabs on you ever since he tracked you down the first-time Jerome escaped from Arkham.

“Do you know who he’s working with?” Jim asked helplessly, the few pictures of the known Maniax covered a board in the room but several were still missing.

“Jim, Jerome is insane, I doubt he trusts me enough to tell me his brand of shampoo, let alone where he’s gone.” You shook your head when he glanced at the ever-present Harvey.

“What if we can protect you from him, would you help us then?” he offered and you slowly got to your feet.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you ever realise Clean exists and you just have no words

i have a lot of words about clean actually: 

Clean is the 13th and final track on the standard edition of Taylor Swift’s 5th studio album 1989. It was the first and so far only collaboration between Swift and english singer songwriter Imogen Heap. The song was written, recorded and produced in Heap’s home studio on the 9th of february 2014 in the middle of the UK leg of Swift’s sold out RED world tour. 

According to Heap Taylor was so well prepared for their recording session and their musical chemistry so palpable, they managed to demo an entire song from scratch in a single day, with Taylor recording her vocals in just two takes. 

In an email to Imogen Taylor wrote “i’ve listened to clean over and over and i can’t thank you enough for today. it was one of the musical highlights of my life watching you work. This will be such a special song on my album and i’m so happy this all came together”. 

The track features not only some of the most interesting production but the deepest lyrics on 1989. Unlike most songs she had penned prior to her latest album, clean foregoes the specific and personal lyrics Taylor has become known for in favour of metaphors such as “the water filled my lungs i screamed so loud but no one heard a thing” and “when i was drowning that’s when i could finally breathe”. Taylor said she hoped Clean would be able to help people through things just as writing the song had done for her. 

Speaking to Elle about 1989 Taylor said the following about the meaning behind Clean: 

“Clean” I wrote as I was walking out of Liberty in London. Someone I used to date—it hit me that I’d been in the same city as him for two weeks and I hadn’t thought about it. When it did hit me, it was like, Oh, I hope he’s doing well. And nothing else. And you know how it is when you’re going through heartbreak. A heartbroken person is unlike any other person. Their time moves at a completely different pace than ours. It’s this mental, physical, emotional ache and feeling so conflicted. Nothing distracts you from it. Then time passes, and the more you live your life and create new habits, you get used to not having a text message every morning saying, “Hello, beautiful. Good morning.” You get used to not calling someone at night to tell them how your day was. You replace these old habits with new habits, like texting your friends in a group chat all day and planning fun dinner parties and going out on adventures with your girlfriends, and then all of a sudden one day you’re in London and you realize you’ve been in the same place as your ex for two weeks and you’re fine. And you hope he’s fine. The first thought that came to my mind was, I’m finally clean. I’d been in this media hailstorm of people having a very misconstrued perception of who I was. There were really insensitive jokes being made at awards shows by hosts; there were snarky headlines in the press—"Taylor Goes Through a Breakup: Well, That Was Swift!“—focusing on all the wrong things.

Clean became an integral part of the 1989 world tour set list as a result of what became known as the “clean speech”. Before performing the song each night Taylor would deliver an ‘inspirational’ speech promoting self worth and encouraging fans not to dwell on their insecurities and mistakes. The speeches were so good many people suggested if Taylor were to ever give up music she could pursue a career as a motivational speaker. 

Clean marked an interesting and welcome departure for swift both sonically and lyrically. Fans will be interested to see whether she decides to collaborate with Heap again in the future. 

#flirting (an Olicity fic)

Here’s a ridiculous little celebrity/social media au one shot. I wrote it this summer and totally forgot about it but I found it today so… here it is! There may be a few more parts to this, idk. We’ll see!

###

She was standing in the kitchen, just finishing off her (disgusting) protein shake, when an alert lit the face of her phone.

@OliverQueen tweeted a photo.

She chugged the last sip—ugh!—and swiped the screen. A second later a photo of Oliver was staring back at her and she’d be lying if she said her breathe didn’t catch a little at the sight.

Tight t-shirt, crazy blue eyes, just the right amount of scruff… He was gorgeous, always, but especially standing on the deck of a yacht, leaning over the railing just enough to show off his muscular shoulders. The tweet said, “Fav pic from the @MensHealth shoot.” It already had over a thousand likes.

Felicity liked the tweet and threw her glass in the sink, maybe a little rougher than she’d meant to considering the way it rattled around.

It wasn’t that she was jealous. She was happy for Oliver; he worked hard to maintain his physique and anyone who worked that hard for anything deserved praise and a spread in Men’s Health was good for him, but ugh! Over a thousand likes in less than three minutes? Really? How was it possible?

Her phone vibrated and she looked down to see another alert.

@OliverQueen: @FelicitySmoak you should have come with. Missed you on the boat ;)

Felicity sighed and tapped out a return message.

@FelicitySmoak: @OliverQueen motion sickness, photogs and getting hit on 24/7? Yeah what was I thinking passing on that?

As was usual whenever she got into a conversation with Oliver on social media, her phone started blowing up. Likes and follows and retweets. Everyone wanted a piece of Oliver Queen, even if it was just in the form of stalking him on Twitter.

Even she had her claws in him in a way. It wasn’t like he talked to her on Twitter because he missed her sparkling personality. No, she was the Ronald Miller to his Cindy Mancini, using his popularity and social media prowess to Can’t Buy Me Love her way into the hearts of America. Or, at least, into the hearts of his millions of followers.

Her phone vibrated again, but this time it was a text.

Keep reading

I just found out that Ulrikke Falch suffered from and battled with anorexia when she was 13-14 years old. It has also been stated by her twin sister Emilie and Ulrikke herself that she has completely recovered. Now, her character, Vilde Hellerud Lien, on Skam feels even more realistic to me, since Ulrikke exactly can understand, feel and relate to Vilde so her portrayal is totally valid. It is also amazing of her to post such encouraging messages about body image and self love because she does her best to encourage and help others who are/have been going through what she went through before. She learned to accept, embrace and love herself, and now she wants us to do the same. Because she knows how much it hurts when you start idealizing others and stop being yourself. She is the voice of self-empowerment. She is inspirational. She is real. 

Singled Out//Stiles Stilinski - Part 3

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Brady Jensen, Lydia Martin, Kira Yukimura, Scott McCall, Reader.

You and Stiles were going strong in the co-parenting situation. It’s been about seven months. Lydia had her baby, another girl. They named her Allison.

They seemed happy. You didn’t see anymore situations like what you’d seen when you took Emma over. They hadn’t married yet, but you assumed it would happen soon. Things had progressed with Brady, you’d gone on a couple dates but nothing was too serious.

“No. I specifically said to question her, not detain her.” You roll your eyes as you cradle the phone between your ear and shoulder. You loved your job. It didn’t require the bulky uniform, and you could sit behind a desk all day, or go and chase someone down. It was much better than being a deputy.

“Dammit, Hayes, do you not get what I’m telling you?” You type aggressively on the keyboard as your frustration grows.

“I’ll do it my own damn self. Stay where you are.” You slam the phone down and walk towards the back of the building. You slide your card and walk into the cell block.

“Give me the keys.” You hold your hand out, the deputy placing them in your hand hesitantly. You unlock the cell, letting the woman inside out. “I told this idiot not to detain you, I guess when a woman needs something done she has to do it herself.”

The woman laughs and you pat her shoulder, “I’m very sorry for the miscommunication and inconvenience. I’m agent Y/L/N if you ever need to contact me.”

She thanks you and you lead her out, bumping into Stiles on your way to your desk.

“Hey, I meant to find you earlier.”

“What’s up?” You smile.

“Lydia and I are having a barbecue..do you think you’d want to come?”

“Oh, yeah. Of course! Is it okay if I bring Brady?”

He looks caught off guard, “I..yeah. No problem.” He nods.

“What time?”

“Six tonight? Scott and Kira are coming too.”

“I’ll see you then.” You nod and continue your journey to your desk.

You sit down and Brady gives you a smile. “We’ve been invited to a barbecue.” You nod.

“With who?” He glances at the computer.

“Stiles and Lydia. Some friends from high school too.”

“Tonight?” He raises an eyebrow.

You nod, “Let’s go.”

You put on your favorite sundress and a pair of cute sandals, dressing Emma in a similar outfit. You knew it was warm outside so you put on a pair of sunglasses and a hat on her. You loaded her up into the car seat as Brady climbs into the front seat. He’s a completely different man outside of work, he’s much more laid back. You examine his apparel, black jeans and a flannel.

“Brady, it’s supposed to be in the high eighties this evening.” You raise an eyebrow as you start the car.

“I’m comfortable.” He shrugs.

“You’ll have your shirt off by the end of the night.” You laugh as you pull out of the driveway.

You pull up to Stiles’ and get Emma out. You walk right inside, Brady behind you.

“Y/N!” Kira smiles as you walk into the kitchen.

“How are you?” You smile as you put Emma down. She finds her way to Stiles, holding her hands out to him so he’d hold her.

“I’m good, you?” You smile as you feel Brady behind you.

“I’m great.”

Scott walks over and greets you. “Brady, this is Kira and Scott. Guys this is Brady, he’s my partner at work and we’re dating.” You smile. You catch a glimpse of Stiles when you say you’re dating. He has a look on his face you can’t quite read, but he quickly busies himself entertaining Emma.

You leave Brady with Kira and Scott and follow Stiles into the living room. “Hey, where’s Lydia?” You ask as you see Allison in her rocker, quietly napping

“Taking a nap.” He nods. “She’s pretty exhausted.”

“Is everything okay?” You ask sincerely. You’d noticed he was coming into work completely exhausted as well. He seemed overworked.

“Yeah. New baby schedule.” He shrugs.

“If you ever need help, I’m here. You know that.” You nod.

“Yeah..I know.” He glances in the kitchen at Brady. “I know.”

Lydia eventually made it downstairs and joined everyone. You had a pretty good time, it felt like high school again.

You went home that night and put Emma to bed. You jumped in the shower. When you were out and dressed you glanced at your phone. It was absolutely blown up. 17 text messages and 9 calls, all from Stiles. You sat on the edge of your bed, calling him back.

“Stiles?” You say as you hear the line stop trilling.

“She’s gone.”

“What?”

“Lydia..she’s..she’s gone.”

“She left? Where’d she go?” You stand up.

“I don’t know, but she left me here with Allison and she’s screaming her head off and I can’t do anything about it because Lydia takes care of her through the night so I don’t know what she needs and I don’t know why Lydia left but I have a 14 week old baby who wants her mom and-”

“Hey.” You cut him off, remembering the times he’d call you in the midst of a panic attack and you’d have to calm him down. “I’ll be right there. Don’t worry, okay?”

“O-okay..” He sounds like he’s been crying. You hear screaming in the background, Allison obviously not happy.

“I’m on my way, Stiles.”

You grab Emma, hoping she doesn’t wake in the midst of the shuffling. You get to Stiles’ as fast as you can, knocking on the door softly.

He answers almost immediately. His eyes are filled with tears and his cheeks are puffy. He’s only wearing pajama pants and his hair’s flat against his forehead.

You step inside and lay Emma in the portable crib Stiles kept in the living room. You take his hand silently and pull him up to the nursery.

You pick Allison up and rock with her, her screams not faltering. She definitely got that from her mother. “Will you go make a bottle?” You ask Stiles and he nods.

You sit in the rocking chair, slowly rocking with her. When Stiles returns you take the bottle and slip it into her mouth, continuing to rock. She quiets down almost immediately, making small noises as she calms down.

“How do you do that?” He sits down on the chair beside you, watching you intently.

“I may have done this on my own once or twice.” You smile. You reach out and touch his arm. “What’s going on?”

“Well, I heard Allison crying but Lydia wasn’t in bed and she wasn’t in the nursery. I went downstairs to grab her a bottle and I found a note on the fridge.” He pulls it out of his pocket and hands it to you.

Stiles, this has all become too much for me. You and I should never have made it this far. It’s been clear to me, even before she came back, that you’re still in love with Y/N. I’m not blaming you for me leaving. I feel trapped. I don’t want to marry you, and I can’t raise a kid with you knowing I’ll be unhappy. I do not want children, I do not want to settle down. I want to be free, I want to see the world. I hope you can understand that. I left the ring on my nightstand. -Lydia.

“Stiles..” You shake your head as you meet his gaze.

“How will I do this on my own, Y/N?” A tear slides down his cheek. You know the feeling all too well.

“I can help you.” You nod.

“I can’t ask you to do that.” He shakes his head, watching you rock with Allison.

“You can. I’ll move in, we can take care of the girls together. I’m not saying we have to get married or anything, I’m just saying we’ll have the girls together and we can all be under one roof instead of swapping.

“You’d do that for me?” He wipes his eyes.

You stand up and place Allison in the crib before squatting in front of Stiles. “Of course I would. We’re family.” You wipe his eyes and he smiles down at you. “I know the feeling, I know what it’s like. Honestly, if you were going to do this on your own you’d hate it. I know you would. I’ll be here to help all the time. I love Allison anyway.”

He buries his head in his hands, "Where did I go wrong?”

You hug him and place your head on top of his. “It’s not your fault, Sti.” You hope he doesn’t notice your use of the nickname, something you haven’t called him since high school.

“Come on, let’s go talk somewhere else.”

You both go and sit in his bedroom. “Never blame yourself, okay? She didn’t want kids, yet she got pregnant. I’m not saying it was her choice, I know you also are dealing with the consequences of that, but she knew. She knew what she was in for and she just changed her mind.”

“Y/N, she told me she wanted a baby.” He shakes his head. “We tried for Allison. For awhile, actually.”

“Really?” You’re in shock. “I think…I’m not an expert, so don’t take my word on this..but maybe she was trying to force a happiness on her she couldn’t have. Y'know? A good husband, a baby, it all seems nice and happy.”

“Yeah..you’re right.” He nods. “I just can’t stand knowing Allison will grow up without a mom.”

“Hey, she’ll have me. I may not be Lydia, but I can try to be a good mom to her..a stand-in mom.”

“You’ll be a better mother than Lydia. I know that much. She hated taking care of her, there were times I felt like bringing her to work because I knew Lydia would hate being alone with her.”

“Stiles…” You shake your head.

“I know. I should’ve expected this.” He shrugs.

“No…I was going to say that you deserve more than that. You deserve to be happy with the mother of your child. You deserve to be happy with your fiancée.”

“I’m happy with the mother of one of my children.” He smiles at you and you wipe his eyes again, returning the smile.

“You and I will do this. As a team, okay?” You hug him again.

“I know that I wasn’t there to help with Emma, and my biggest regret is not keeping in touch with after we broke up..but thank you for not leaving me in a situation like that. I couldn’t…I couldn’t do it. I’m not strong enough.”

“Don’t you dare say that, Stiles Stilinski. I have seen you on your highs and your lows. You can handle anything. You were possessed for God’s sake.”

“Do you know why I made it through that?” He looks at you.

“Why, Stiles?”

“Because I had you. You’ve always been my biggest fan and supporter. Not having you on my side felt like I wasn’t doing anything for anyone. When we were dating I did everything for you.”

“Well guess what, you’ve still got me. I guess that means you’ll make it through this all right.”

He chuckles and sniffles, “Your logic is solid.”

Debunking studyblr stereotypes, or something like that

I see a lot of new studyblrs worrying about these things and it really bothers me that these are worries at all. This is not me railing against the many studyblrs who are fortunate enough to have or happen to have all the supposed “studyblr” things, but rather the point of view as a blogger who feels entirely at home, supported, and accepted in the community, and who is also paying for college. I’m opting not to use a read more, because I feel like read mores get disregarded half the time.

To start with, I will unabashedly admit that I use few, if any, of the studying techniques touted by the studyblr community. They just don’t work for me, and that’s cool. I don’t have the time/energy/ability to do mind maps and aesthetic notes, I don’t have the discipline to do pomodoros, and my attempt at bullet journaling failed within a few days. I have a cute school planner, but to be honest as the weeks approached finals I legitimately did not write anything in it.

As for stationery. My current favorite pen is this Paper Mate Write Bros. pen my friend lent me in psych class one day. Yup, you know the ones I’m talking about — the ones that schools stock in bulk because it’s $2 for 12 pens, and $7 for 60. The closest I ever got to “studyblr” was the Pilot G2′s, which I like, but I still far prefer my super cheap alternatives. I also got a giant bag of similar pens (Bic, Paper Mate, and Staples) for free on Freecycle, and I’m 1000% content with that collection. I didn’t buy anything new except $5 worth of bargain school supplies this year (some notebooks and filler paper). I reuse old notebooks to make filler paper. A lot of my binders and folders are dog-eared, but I mean they work. I also like the college-ruled notebooks you can get at like pharmacies and generic brands — no fancy dotted, high quality paper for me! Oh, and I only have Mildliners and Fineliners because a follower sent them to me. I love them, particularly the thought behind them, but I do still revert back to my Bic highlighters and Paper Mate pens. Look, if someone offered to send me stationery (which I don’t need at this point), I would ask for a white-out pen (which I received!! Thank you!), maybe a couple new erasers, a Sharpie or two, and if I’m really splurging, a 60-pack of those Paper Mate pens. (((*cough*mywishlist*cough*))

Now let’s talk electronics. I have a MacBook Pro from 2011 that I received as a gift when I started high school. It’s literally imploding, like each of its functions are gradually falling apart (first the battery went to shit, and now the CD drive doesn’t work). It’s a Mac, but honestly as soon as this one dies — and I intend to stretch out its life as long as humanly possible — I’m going straight for a $200 Chromebook or other PC laptop. Let’s be real, literally all I need it for is to go online and tote around with me, and I don’t even have $500 to spare. Plus, using messages/FaceTime on my Mac slows it down, so there’s no real reason to hold onto the Mac OS X. I bought my iPhone 5s when I was 18 (two years ago) with my own money, paid cash up front. It’s sluggish now, but like my old MacBook, I’m seeing if I can make it last through til grad school. And the idea of having a high quality camera is laughable. I film silly little, hopefully relatable vlogs on my iPhone, edit them, and upload them to Google Drive.

Also, I don’t have succulents; I’d kill them by mistake. I don’t make cute healthy meals; if I make ramen it’s a huge deal. I’ve had the same twin bed and bedsheets MY ENTIRE LIFE and not a single one is white. My desk is a hand-me-down wooden monster and it’s got stains all over it.

Here’s the other important thing. Do I feel remotely bad or envious of studyblrs with all this fancy stationery, who can be so productive? Frankly, no. I think it’s awesome they have everything they need, and that it works for them. But being a studyblr is about SO MUCH MORE than materials and studyspo. I appreciate the “real studyblr” movement that happened a little while ago, but I dislike the divide it created at all. Live and let live, right? The only reason I’d want a pretty new MacBook Air is because it probably isn’t as slow as mine. I wouldn’t reject Muji stationery or pens, but I don’t really feel any desire for them. And much as I admire others for being able to do habit trackers and bullet journaling, it’s not like I sit around wishing I could do it too. I mean, I can watch professional dancers all I want, and appreciate their beauty and ability, but I’m not going to go home and berate myself for not being able to do the same thing. They’re doing what they enjoy doing, same as I do.

MY POINT IS, to all these new studyblrs who are worried that they don’t have what it takes to be a studyblr, BRO DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT. I’m relatively well known and respected in the community, and we’ve just listed all the ways I’ve breached every single fabricated studyblr “rule” — so if I can do that and get away with it, you certainly can too.