i was feeling emotional so i did a thing i apologize

You made me feel like shit in 2.5 seconds; here's my response to that...

I'm sorry

I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment to you

I’m sorry I can’t be what you want me to

I’m sorry If I hurt you, I know I did, I always somehow do.

I’m sorry I’ll cry about it; I know it’ll made me look weak

I’m sorry all I can do is apologize; What more can I do when the distance is so great?

I’m sorry I can’t make it up to you

I’m sorry for being such a wimp and not telling you how I felt earlier

I’m sorry my insecurities hold me back from saying so many things; expressing so many emotions

I’m sorry you’re with me when you could do so much better, you deserve better

I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you, a small part of me held on to that small sliver of hope that I could be for 4 years now

I’m sorry I’m breaking down right now and not replying to you, it was either this or relapsing again…

I’m sorry I can’t put into words what i’m think most of the time; It’s not like you can read my mind and I don’t exactly make it easy do I ?

I’m sorry I can’t ever meet anyone’s expectations of me

I’m sorry my body is shaking right now, I’ve already made so many typos because of it

I’m sorry I had to hold back my sob when I knew you would eventually say what you did

I’m sorry I’m so dramatic

I’m sorry I’ll be at 15 percent battery soon, my legs will probably give out after crying so I can’t reach my charger

I’m sorry the silent tears will stream my face because I know what’ll probably come next

I’m sorry if you think i’m blowing you off right now; I’m not and I really do try to get to you so please don’t blame me for something I seriously can’t control

I’m sorry I can’t ever meet anyone’s expectations of me, not just yours

I’m sorry if I fucked anything up

I’m sorry i’m so far away

I’m sorry that you probably feel like you have to like me, love me, anything with me really… Please just say something if that’s the case

but most of all I’m sorry I’m me, why would anyone seriously put up with me?

4.11.15 | 9:44 p.m. 💔

Apologies

Hurt
Healing

Anthony Ramos x Reader
Words: 966
Request:
@alanah—hamiltrash :  Can you please make hurt/healing into a series??????????
anon:  HURT PART THREE PLS
warnings: mentions of cheating, a swear word

writing this has screwed my emotions up really bad. it’s got me feeling things man. 

i don’t have much else to say beside HOLY CRAP I HAVE 900 FOLLOWERS IM IN AWE!! i’ve said this so many times, but i never expected to get like any followers at all so… i love you all so much. i’m a lil emotional because like i’m so happy.

i’m running out of anthony gifs to use, so i’m going to leave you with my masterlist link and that is it from me. requests are open as usual! take care of yourselves my incredible followers. i love you all so much x

Masterlist

~

“I didn’t expect to see you here.”

He let out a soft sigh, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Neither did I, honestly.”

“We’re done. You understand that… right?”

Anthony’s posture dropped. “Can we talk? I don’t… I need to explain myself to you. I can’t leave you in the dark about all of this.”

You took in a deep breath, opening the door wider and allowing him back into your once shared apartment. He stepped in, looking around and taking in all of the scattered memories that the walls held.

“Can I… can I sit?” Anthony asked quietly, glancing at the couches where you would relax after shows.

“Yeah. I guess,” You muttered, shutting the door and taking a seat on the opposite couch to him.

“I want to start by apologising. And I know you’ve heard it from me a billion times in drunk voicemails and when I visited Jas but… I can’t apologise enough. And it’s not going to fix anything… I know that. But I don’t want us to be so distant. We were best friends even before we started dating and now that’s…”

“Gone,” You whispered, finishing his sentence. You avoided his eyes, focusing instead on his hands. His soft, hands that used to be locked with yours when you walked down the street. His fingers that would run through your hair… his arms that had wrapped around you and made you feel so safe…

“I didn’t mean to break your heart. I… I don’t know what I was thinking. Everything was starting to pile up. You started having to go home a lot more because of your family, I was alone here most of the time and… I needed something. Something to fill the hole you left whenever you were gone.”

Small teardrops were starting to fall onto his sun kissed skin. You hadn’t seen him cry in a long time. You hadn’t seen him feel anything in a long time…

“So we… we found each other. I told her it was a once off thing… but then it wasn’t. We kissed. So many times…”

“I don’t need to know details. C-Can you get to the point?” You whispered, finally letting your eyes meet his. They were cloudy, and his cheeks were tear stained. You gnawed anxiously on your lip. You couldn’t let yourself feel anything for him. He’s the one that did the wrong thing, not you.

“I don’t want there to be this tension between us. I want my best friend back. I want to be able to call you when I’m feeling sad, I want to be able to hold you and I want to kiss you so badly…”

“You lost that privilege a long time ago and you know it,” You whispered, checking the time on your phone. “I have to leave.”

“Wait what? (Y/N), pl-please. I’ll b-be better this time. I-I p-promise,” He whispered, standing quickly.

You grabbed your bag from the kitchen bench. “Can you lock the door when you leave? Please?” You asked, heading for the door.

“You’re not listening. Please. I’ll do anything,” Anthony begged, following you. He grabbed your wrist, turning you around.

“No, you’re not listening to me. It’s not that easy. You can’t just barge in here and expect everything to go back to normal. That’s not how it works and you know it.”

“I do. But, I-I need you. I’m not the same without you. Could you please just…”

“Anthony,” You said firmly, getting his attention. He locked eyes with you, quickly wiping his tears with the sleeves of his jumper.

“You don’t get to come in here and cry. Do you have any idea how long it’s taken me to come to terms with all of this? I spent so many nights asking myself what I did wrong. But every time I look back, you’re always the one at fault. I never left your side in times of need. I took care of you. I gave you my everything. But even still, you took my weak heart and you smashed it. No matter what I did for you, it was never enough. A long time ago, I thought we’d be together for a long time. I thought we’d be happy. Did I not make you happy?”

“You made me so happy. I can’t even begin to explain the joy that filled me whenever we touched… I just…” He quickly leaned forward, cupping your cheek with his hand and kissing you. You felt yourself melt away, tears rolling down your cheeks as you felt his lips on yours.

When he finally pulled away, you stared back at him with tears filling your eyes. The walls you had put up had been broken down. You let a quiet sob escape your lips, hugging him tightly.

“I hate you so much. I hate that you make me love you, even after all of the shit you’ve done,” You whispered, your body shake with sobs.

“You’re allowed to hate me. I screwed up so badly. But I want to be with you. I’m nothing without you, I need you in my life to function. I’m a shell of myself without you,” He whispered, hugging you back tightly.

You pulled out of the hug, biting your lip. “Can you walk me to the theatre? I think we still have some things that have been left unsaid.”

“Of course,” Anthony whispered, taking your hand in his. He squeezed it gently as you both headed towards the Richard Rodgers theatre, him constantly mumbling apologies as you continued down the streets. Eventually, you were both left in silence. You knew that you had both been hurt badly by the whole experience, but being together would help both of you heal. You just needed time.

Forgive me?

Cake Imagine 


Originally posted by chanyoel

I want to get back to where we started.  I want to be able to hold you once more. The days turned into years and i have never been so smothered in regret. I have never wanted to hurt you, i never wanted to make you feel like you didn’t have anyone.  But i did the opposite, i left you when you needed me the most. I wanted to apologize and come back, i wanted to fix everything and make you happy. But i wasn’t happy. I know that is a shitty thing to say to someone that you were with for a few years.  In all honesty it is the truth, i wasn’t happy and it wasn’t you.  You were perfect in every way.  I just didn’t have enough emotion to do it anymore, i was trying.  Things were fun in the beginning but as months changed and the relationship took more twists and turns.  I realized that i had lost interest in the idea of us being together.  

We went from the honeymoon phase to being a cranky old couple. I want to start over and maybe put as much effort as i did in the beginning in the end.  I had gave up halfway through i never cared what you did or what you even wanted from me. I want a restart but i know that you are so hurt that there is no chance for that.  I have made mistakes, Ashton was one.  But with that small mistake i knew that there was no one else for me.  That i has always been you.  But i know that hatred you feel for me, i have seen the rants on twitter.  As well as the videos you telling everyone that i was just a bastard.

You aren’t wrong, i am a bastard and so many more worse things.  I was an awful person, no matter how much you cried and begged for me to stay i just didn’t.  I knew that day and days after were hard for you.  I heard you stayed in our old shared apartment for months, begging friends to bring you food as you didn’t want to face the outside world.  I never imagined i meant that much to you.  I never imagined that i would hurt you that bad, i expected you to move on to find someone that would treat you better than i ever did.  But as i hear now you still are single and seeing a therapist.

That is the one fact that hurt me the most, i had caused you to seek help.  I have damaged you beyond repair.  When i heard that i cried, i cried for the first time in years.  I never wanted to be that person.  The person that hurts people so bad they need to get help, they need someone to help them see the light of life.  I knew you tried suicide, i knew that was the first option you created for yourself. You don’t understand how grateful i am that you didn’t off yourself. I would never been able to live with myself.  Because i know that i was the reason and if you left this Earth i would be right behind you.

I fucked up, i can admit that.  I know that i am the reason you are where you are now.  If you would even place me on the list i would rush over to see you.  I would be there everyday, but i know you don’t want to see me.  Who wants to see the person that led them to be where they are? I know that if i were you that i would be the last person i wanted to see. I don’t blame you, i really don’t.  I am not angry with all the things you have said about me as well as what others have said about me.  Because it is all true, i am the worst human being in the world and i deserve horrid things to happen to me.  But i deserve those things because i hurt you, i hurt the one person that meant the world to me.

You will always be the one for me, even though i had left because i only cared about myself.  I should have worked things out.  I should have done something.  As i write this the tears keep streaming down my face.  I never wanted this to happen i thought i was doing what was best for you.  Best for you to find someone who cared.  But it took me leaving to realize i cared, i cared so much and i never wanted anything else.  I never wanted anyone else than you.  All the mistakes were trying to fill the void i made.  I wanted them to be you, to always be you.  But they were far from it.  No one will ever replace you Calum.  No one will replace the space in my heart that is reserved for only you.

I love you Calum Thomas Hood. Only you baby.

I hope they let you have this letter, as well as i hope you will let me visit you.  I want to get back to where we started, just you and me. So please consider. Talk to you soon, i hope…

Love,

Luke The Fuck Up Hemmings.

Andrew Minyard: A Character Study

“It’s the little things that matter,” Andrew said, waving a hand dismissively at Neil’s flustered attempt to apologize. He hoped he sounded sincere and not bored - like how he, apparently, always did. “Don’t worry about it.”

“But I completely forgot that it was your birthday,” Neil whined, not wanted to meet his eyes. Andrew could practically feel the guilt radiate off of Neil’s body, by the way his shoulders hunched and his hands tightened in his jacket pockets.

Admittedly, he couldn’t fault himself for being low-maintenance enough that he couldn’t bring himself to care like a normal person. But when it came to things like this, Neil would beat himself up over it like it was the gravest mistake he’s committed.

Because Andrew didn’t know what else to do (and because he was, truly, the definition of emotional constipation), he just shrugged and replied, “What’s a birthday present compared to the shit you give me everyday?”

This was met with an indignant scoff. “Nice try. A line like that’s not going to work on me.”

Despite Neil’s unimpressed face, Andrew continued, “Junkie, with you here, I’m pretty sure I’m set for a hundred more shitty birthdays.”

just something I wrote for @tragicash and @hemmocrat’s breakup!5sos blurb night - which I now feel like is too long for a blurb (oh my god is that even okay??) so you have my deepest apologies because I literally cannot stop talking. Back on topic, I hope this is alright it’s just what came to me when I thought along the lines of like ~post break-up~. Okay I’m gonna shut up now 

Luke sat with his head in his hands, the lack of comfort the wooden seat he had chosen provided being the furthest thing from his mind. He wasn’t alone in his suffering, he was flanked by 3 other guys he knew for a fact were all experiencing the same pounding head, waves of nausea and intense regret at ordering that last bottle of whisky as he was. For them, it was possible to cling to the fact that the stag do was everything they’d hoped it would be for their friend and the pain they were all in would be worth it once the symptoms subsided. But he didn’t have that luxury. The buzzing pain caused by too many downed drinks didn’t compare in the slightest to the burning ache that had consumed his entirety for exactly 10 days now.

10 days since he’d thrown words at you he’d never have dreamed of even whispering to you in the past, you defending yourself by doing the exact same and spitting words he’d never imagined you saying to him even in the worst of nightmares. 9 days, technically given that it was 3 am, since you’d lost all patience and packed your bags, thrown your key to the apartment you both shared at him and slammed the door. 8 days since he’d woken up with one side of his face numb from sleeping with his head rested on the kitchen table, back aching from a less than peaceful slumber in one of the chairs in your dining room - but he knew it all hurt far less than it would have sleeping in the bed you’d picked on sheets that smelled like you yet missing that exact component. Only 2 days since he’d sent you that last message and left you a final voicemail after almost a week of desperately trying to contact you, apologising for everything and anything he could ever have done to you, for anything he would do in the future although he vowed to you through waves of uncharacteristic tears that if you even gave him the time of day he’d never mess up again, he’d bet every penny he had on it.

It had been no use though, he’d been met with nothing but a cold grey wall of silence, struggling with the concept that you stood somewhere behind it. Torturing himself at every hour of the day that you could be hiding behind it, from him, a broken shell of a person much like he was, and there was nothing he could do to make it all better. There was no joke he could tell to get you to crack a smile this time. He could buy up the entire planet’s supply of your favourite flower, invest every penny he had in ensuring any future ones would be yours - and he would too if it was what you wanted - but it wasn’t going to bring you back to him. He knew it from the look in your eye that night, the familiar glint of hope vacant from them, extinguished completely - he assumed - by him.

He refused to believe that your relationship had taken its course and reached the finish line as if it was some petty sprint, or a stage of a relay race. For him, you were a marathon. For him, you were it. For ever and always.

But that didn’t stop him from physically wincing when the wooden doors swung open and he heard your laugh floating above every other chuckle, the creak of the floorboards and the groans of his companions. In that moment, he reckoned the world could quite literally be falling apart and he’d still be able to hear the joyful melody over it all. For the first time in his life he was wracked with nerves because of you, denying himself to opportunity to lay his eyes upon you for the first time in forever purely because he was terrified of how you’d be looking back at him. The look of hatred and heartbreak on your face when you’d left was etched into his mind for all of time, he was sure of that.

There was no time for a cliche stare down across the flower strewn room, which in a way was good because he doubted that his shattered heart being scattered across the floor at just the mere sight of you would go with the bride’s colour scheme. The wedding planner eagerly clapped her hands - causing each and every groomsman to flinch and groan - and instructed everyone to get into place. Emotions and fragile hearts be damned there was a wedding taking place, his best friend was waiting nervously at the end of the aisle just through the double doors and you all had a job to do.

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Note to self:

When someone disrespects you, never again use the excuse: “but he/she is my friend” to justify their action(s). Do not ignore the fact that they have not apologized because they’re subconsciously (or not) using the reason, “but I am his/her friend”. Also, it doesn’t matter if you did not feel disrespected. It’s like the car crash thing – emotional reactions come later. You think: I should be in pain right now. But I’m not… So I guess this is okay. No, it’s not okay.

It’s not okay. Because this is the part no one tells you about so you have to figure it all out on your own. So far, these are things you have learned: Yes, you most definitely have the right to walk away. Yes, you can do it. Because no matter which path you take, there will always be people walking behind you, making remarks about the way your footprints are dirty. Your absence and your silence will be filled with whatever people want to believe.

I’ve been called shy. I’ve been called quiet. Cold. Insensitive. Angry. Sad. Hurt. Helpless. Pitiful – because I’m unable to defend myself. Depressed – because I have reached the point of being hurt so badly that I have given up. Astounding, isn’t it? How you can become a multitude of things in other people’s minds just by keeping your mouth shut.

When someone disrespects you and they don’t listen to what you have to say, it’s because what you are saying is not what they want to hear. So they dismiss this as something other than the truth. When this happens, don’t second guess yourself. Don’t blame yourself instead just because they’re your “friend”. Even friends can do you wrong although they tell you it’s not their intention. Do not invalidate and/or apologize for your feelings just because you don’t want to hurt your “friend” by making it known to them how their actions made you feel. Do not justify wrong actions on account of good intentions.

Note to self: Yes, you have the right to cut people out of your life.

MJL

Sovin’s Les Mis London Observations!

- We got to see the understudy for Valjean, and he was absolutely wonderful! His early Valjean is so young and lost and angry, and he aged appropriately throughout. He was so great, and we were so lucky to see him!

- In this staging, the bishop approaches Valjean, who is overwhelmed and huddled against a pillar downstage, and it was lovely and emotional. Valjean flinches away at first.

- Fantine was also amazing. She was so small compared to the ensemble actresses, and that made her look a lot younger and more vulnerable, which worked so well.

- Fantine had friiiiiiiends. One of the factory workers tried to defend her and apologized after Fantine got thrown out, and several of the lovely ladies crew tried to revive her after Bamatabois slapped her down, and one tried to go back for her. I’ve never seen the staging done that way, but it honestly worked so well, and hurt even more.

- During “Lovely Ladies,” Fantine propositions a passing guard captain rather than a ship’s captain, which isn’t something I’ve seen done before.

- Fantine does try to stop Valjean and show him her letter, but he’s already walking out.

- When Valjean bends to talk to Fantine in the street, she flinches away, paralleling that earlier scene with the Bishop and Valjean.

- Fantine tries to get out of bed to fetch Cosette, and ends up falling. Valjean picks her up and tucks her back into bed.

-In Confrontation, Valjean threatens Javert with a chair leg, but eventually drops it to rush him and throw him to the side. Only when Javert attacks him from behind does Valjean turn and deck him across the face, knocking him out.

- The production made excellent use of fog: the people in “At the End of the Day” and “Look Down” both start shrouded in fog, and only gradually become distinct, which I felt really enhanced the sense of giving voice to the faceless masses.

- Madame Thénardier spots Cosette singing “Castle on a Cloud” and makes a point to sneak up on her and slam the bucket down next to her on the table, because she is the worst.

- When Valjean walks Cosette back to the inn, he does the harmonizing for a hummed reprise of Castle on a Cloud, and it was so darling.

- At the build up to the “Waltz of Treachery,” Madame Thénardier (and M. Thénardier, once she wakes him up) keeps trying to convince Valjean to sit, take off his coat, and have a drink, but he is totally distracted by talking to Cosette and boops her tiny nose.

Now for the timeskip and a cut!

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how to deal with a broken heart

by whitney galaher

warning: this galaher has only been in love maybe twice and it was never reciprocal. hell, the most she’s gotten from these two loves were great make-outs. no sex, so i probably don’t have it as bad as you. apologies. in fact, i probably don’t even know what real “in love” is like. however, this is how i’m dealing with my heartbreak. 

rule one:
allow yourself to feel sad, angry, miserable, whatever. showing these emotions, means that you’re human and that you truly did care. as butters from south park once said (yes, i’m quoting this because its so real), “The only way I can feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before.” I can’t express  this enough. People and things will come in and out of your life. To have someone impact your life in such a positive light is a benefit to you. And as Gene Belcher said in the most recent Bob’s Burgers episode, “My heart’s not broken, it’s growing.” That quote changed my view on this so called “broken heart” of mine.  It’s true. My heart is growing. I haven’t fell this hard for someone since I was 17. I’m allowing the possibility of letting my feelings run wild and get nervous/excited about it all. Even though it didn’t work out, it just means I can feel this way again. And man, I’m excited for that day.

rule two:
respect your partners decision. you’re allowed make one last move to possibly change their mind, but pushing yourself onto them may scare them away permanently. you could also make yourself miserable along the way. “if you love someone, you gotta let ‘em go.”

rule three:
get back to loving yourself. i know it’s hard. you’re probably reminded of them every day. in your favorite animal, color, music, things that you love to do. it blows, but you loved these things before you met them. and if you loved it after, so what? they’ve added to your life and that’s a great thing. they helped you grow as a human, accept that. because no one will be able to love you correctly if you can’t love yourself. 

“i don’t want to love anyone else”

good, keep that mindset. your suppose to focus on yourself anyway. increase your life elevation by being creative or doing hobbies/work you are passionate about. if you don’t have it in you just yet to do so, become physically active. this doesn’t have to mean go running or go to the gym, but use that pent up energy in walking or talking to others. don’t keep it bottled up. you need a clear mind and the best way is to get fresh air. even just sitting in a new location, observing whats around you can give you a new perspective on your situation. just don’t become obsessed with it. 

OK SO

those are my three rules that i can currently think of. i hope this has helped you in some way. i know typing this out and reading it out loud to myself has made me feel a bit better. i love myself too much to let someone else ruin my happiness for me.  i’m in control of my life and if i want to stay happy, i will. 

all that laughter crumbling in your fingers

Summary: Amy kind-of sort-of Dies, and everything falls apart.

(Rosa observes.)

So I think maybe by now I can list “inflicting emotional pain on Jacob Peralta” as a marketable skill? Anyway, I decided the best way to deal with exam stress was to pull out that horrifying old prompt that I believe @natashwarma once gave me into a legit fic. Never did I think something would be worst than single dad au, but well. I’m delivering a blanket apology with this thing pleasedon’tkillmeokaybye

Rosa, her fingers wound tightly around the back of the plastic chairs in the meeting room and her voice short and brooking no argument, actually opposes the whole idea at first.  

So does Captain Holt, even if he maybe isn’t as vocal about his objections as Rosa is.

“What?” she snaps, the first time it’s brought up. “That’s insane.”

“Don’t be stupid,” she growls, the second time it’s suggested. “We’ll figure out another way.”

The third time, she doesn’t even bother with pleasantries.

No.”

She stands with her hands curled up tightly at her sides, the outsides of her knuckles brushing against the hems of her jacket sleeves, not completely sure why she’s so angry that they’re even considering this and watching as Amy talks in that eager, animated way of hers, explaining to Captain Holt why there is literally no other way they can pull the sting off.

On the one hand, Rosa gets it; Amy doesn’t want to sacrifice a month’s worth of undercover work and intel. Work and intel for Rosa’s case, the one the higher ups got tangled up with because it bled into larger investigations and for Christ’s sake, Rosa was the one who suggested Amy for the job.

On the other hand –

Rosa watches as Holt agrees with her; slowly, finally, convinced by Amy’s determined stubbornness and the FBI agents’ voices of reason. Rosa watches, hands still curled at her sides and the tightness of her chest threatening to spill through into her voice, because this can’t – she won’t

“Diaz?” Captain Holt’s voice is calm – not quite gentle, she thinks, and realizes that he knows if he tried gentle with her right now she’d get angry, the tightness not just spilling through but exploding, blazing. (He’s not wrong.) “It’s your call.”

Rosa swallows and pretends her voice isn’t getting caught in her throat. “Fine. Whatever.”

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6

Look what was waiting for me when I got home today ♡〜٩( ˃́▿˂̀ )۶〜♡

Beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe how lovely @fantakoi​‘s Closer is! I just spent the better part of the past two hours trying to work through my feelings about this after reading it twice. From a technical standpoint it’s well paced and developed. The illustrations are all wonderful, the layout and everything from the characters to the scenery having clearly been given ample attention during the creation process.

I also really appreciate the attention to detail… things like the prints on Hinata’s shirts (all really cute by the way) and the blush you could see on his neck when his back is towards the reader that once~ The inside of the front and back covers were a nice addition as well, I wasn’t expecting that and was pleasantly surprised to be welcomed into and sent off from the book with a range of expressions on those tiny Kageyama’s and Hinata’s ^^

What really made this for me though was the fuurin (randomly gets personal here). I bought a fuurin while I was in Arashiyama the first time I went to Japan, I don’t have a porch or anything so I knew I wouldn’t be able to hang it outside even during good weather, so I have it hanging in my house and tap it every time I pass - no wind obviously. I don’t know if everyone has heard one before, but fuurin make a very clear, wistful sound – not piercing like the sound of a shakuhachi or trembling like a kokyuu – but crisp like mountain air. And to me personally it evokes something akin to longing. As I was reading Closer, in those still moments I could practically hear that fuurin, the pure resonating “ting.”

In the note at the end the word fantakoi used was pining, and whether she’d meant to or not, between the fuurin and the elegant introspection on Kageyama’s part, I really felt that yearning as if it were my own. And there’s nothing better than becoming so invested in a work that you feel it in your bones. So thank you. Thank you so much for all your efforts in putting together this book, it truly is an achievement to be proud of and I’m honored to have it on my shelf.

If anyone has the opportunity to pick up this book, I highly suggest that you do.

Noragami season 2 finale thoughts

So now that I’ve watched the finale of season 2, I’m having mixed feelings about the ending since I have read the manga.

Overall I’m rather disappointed with how it ended.

A bit of a text block ahead, my apologies. I focus on just a few things as this isn’t an analysis. 

 

Although I think Ebisu’s death was handled… alright for the anime, it’s still disappointing. The manga did an excellent job to convey the raw emotion and the seriousness and the intensity of the events unfolding once Heaven showed up. Everyone at that moment seeing Heaven showing up was literally like “well we are freaking screwed”. This was life or death this was if we make a mistake, one slip, and Ebisu is dead, Bishamon is in trouble because you DO NOT mess with Heaven once it comes after you. Sure Bishamon kicked their butts in both versions, but the manga clearly conveys that Ebisu is in DEEP TROUBLE EITHER WAY.

In the anime… there’s this feeling of naw everything will be fine. It’s so lackluster. Bishamon/Yato will kick their butts! There’s not that much raw emotion other than “they’re firing the Heaven canon! We’re probably gonna die! But y'know we got two really powerful war gods so…” (and the Heaven canon??? What was that even???)

Now about Ebisu’s death. I’m not going to go in depth about the fact that it was completely changed and lost it’s emotional touch in the anime. Yes it was emotional, but the way the anime handled how Ebisu’s death affected Bishamon, and Yato in particular, was really disappointing.

Bishamon was shown to be pretty close to Ebisu from what I remember in the manga, and this was more so shown when she was the one with Ebisu when he was dying.

In the next page she is shown to be crying. Crying. Not to downplay Yato and Ebisu’s relationship but this scene brought out both Bishamon’s character and showed another relationship between two characters as well. Not to mention that it showed just how serious Ebisu’s situation was.

Now Yato. Yato was completely rekt by the fact that Ebisu died despite how much he went through and struggled to save him. Yato did everything in his power to save this man, and came close to never returning. He was completely and utterly devastated when he found out Ebisu died (he never saw Ebisu after he got sucked out of the underworld in that phantom storm).

Look at him. Look at how distressed and horrified he is to not see the grown Ebisu he saved greet him when he recovers from being in the underworld, but a child Ebisu. A new Ebisu.

The anime felt that, yes Yato is upset but it didn’t convey just how much this would have affected Yato. For once in his life he did something of his own free will, he saved someone of his own decision not because of his trash Father’s orders. He thought that he had succeeded in doing something good for once when Ebisu successfully escaped the underworld alive. And yet, it didn’t matter because Ebisu was killed. (also they completely took out the interaction between him and Bisha and Kazuma AND THE REUNION BETWEEN HIYORI AND YUKINE at Bisha’s house omg whyyyy those were great!)

This was meant to be an incredibly powerful, emotional, arc, and although the anime did alright to re-create it, it felt that it fell short in the end.

I’d also like to talk about the difference between how small Ebisu and Yato interact in the anime and manga. The anime honestly felt… rushed, but you can see that Yato still cares about Ebisu. I particularly enjoyed the restaurant seen (and formal wear Yato mMMmmHHMmm) but honestly? The interaction and the relationship was lacking.

When Ebisu and Yato were reunited in the manga, the scenes were both emotional and touching. This page is one of my favorites. 

See how Yato and Ebisu’s conversation goes? They’re alone, in private. This is something between them. Now see Yato’s not talking down to Ebisu but he’s gotten down to eye level with him? Usually, this sort of gesture is to talk to someone (usually a child) at an equal level. See how respectful Ebisu is? This scene is almost like a father-son talk. And it also gives us the start of their relationship later on in the manga where Yato seems to become some sort of… older brother(?)/friend/guardian figure to Ebisu.

And now let me talk about Hiiro/Nora. Wow am I glad that Yato finally released her. BUT AGAIN the anime seems to have taken away the emotional sentiment of this scene. Yato, by releasing Hiiro, is severing a part of his past that he doesn’t want to be part of anymore. It’s HIS moment with Hiiro. HE is cutting ties with her. This moment is between Yato and Hiiro.

Yukine… was out of place at that moment in the anime. Hiyori wasn’t suppose to appear and acknowledge that Yato finally cut his ties. Again, this was Yato’s moment to cut his ties with Hiiro so he could finally go back to Hiyori, to Yukine, with the mindset of a fresh start.

But did Hiiro REALLY just fall???!?! UMMM??????? Why would she??? Just fall??? Into the water??? And just look shocked??? That isn’t in her character because she is a scary little girl.

There. That right there. Look at Hiiro. This gives us a glimpse into her as a character. She isn’t just a flat “oooh I like being evil” girl. That face means business; she is not pleased, and she will get back at Yato for doing this, and it was disappointing that she just took the fact that Yato just released her and just didn’t do anything. She is dangerous LET ME TELL YOU.

Last but not least, a tad spoiler within the same ark.

 

 

I really really wished that the animation team had included this character, because personally the appearance of this character could potentially signify more seasons of Noragami to come, because she gives some insight on what role Heaven plays later on in the story. Also, she has yet to be seen again in the manga as of late, but there have been speculations about her being linked to the events currently going on in the manga.

This lovely lady. I would have really liked to see her appear in the anime, because she was the turning point to get Yato out of the underworld, NOT Ebisu. But we’ll have to see where Noragami goes in the anime to see if she appears.

Well, here are my thoughts for the final episode. Noragami still did pretty well for the most part, and I really enjoyed the Bishamon arc because as far as I remember it followed the manga wonderfully. I hope Noragami will bring more seasons for us to enjoy!

Sometimes when something is on my mind, I have to say it. My filter that regulates appropriate versus inappropriate things to say just disappears. I try to hold back these thoughts, but I can’t help but feel them and become completely overwhelmed by them. So I say them. And I’m sorry if it was the wrong time and place to tell you what I told you, but I had to. I really did. It would have bothered me all night and all day today, slowly eating away at me because I can’t really keep things from you. I’ve tried. And it hasn’t worked. I hope you can understand.
—  9:14am thoughts// but maybe your lack of response means you don’t, and it’s okay