migumiglorious replied to your post “You mentioned in your tags on your post that you are in the upswing of…”
Oh my god “try harder” is what all my teachers and counselor told me for the four year duration of middle school whenever I said I didn’t understand the material in class or when I said I couldn’t focus and it was h e l l. Honestly I think teachers say that cause they think students are lying, so that they can go “Oh I did my job I didn’t ignore them” when in reality they’re still doing that. I get close to flipping my shit every time I hear someone say it now.
Try harder has been my mantra through all of my childhood right the way through to my adult years. Try harder.
Like honestly the whole time I was at university I was having a perpetual meltdown, there was no way I could have possibly tried harder. I graduated with a 2:1 with honors (I have no idea how to translate that for the Americans, sorry, it’s pretty good though, like not 4.0 good but Up There) and the first thing my professor said to me, with a big ole smile on his face was “now imagine what you could have done if you’d just tried harder” and all I could hear after that was the Kill Bill siren in my head. Like I’d just coasted my way there, and hand’t spent four years torturing myself, crying daily and completely destroying my personal life to try and keep it together long enough to reach graduation day.
And that’s a summary of my entire school life right there, with report cards that say “Joy is extremely clever but just doesn’t try hard enough”, “could be wonderful, if she only tried harder.” And it took until last year when I was joking with @jeneelestrange that it’s odd that I know all the things that I know because I’m not all that clever, and haha isn’t it funny that I’m able to remember these things despite this this and this, and there was this moment of pause which you could hear even over the internet before Jenee very gently nudged me with “hey…uh…that uh…that’s a learning disorder, you have a learning disorder” and I went haha no I just don’t try hard enough, I’m just not all that clever…right? I’m just stupid, right? Why else do I struggle so much with academic things…
Wait, what do you mean ADHD gets overlooked in girls because it presents differently than in boys? What?! What do they mean it’s hard?!?! WELL WHY DON’T THEY TRY HARDER?!!