I have been asked many a time by people I know in real life and on here if I am serious when I say baseball bats are my weapon of choice.
Fuck yes they are. I would, in full confidence bring a baseball bat to a gun fight. Moving targets are hard to hit, I was a sprinter in high school, and moving targets that are bashing your skull in are even harder to hit. Sure I have stellar aim with a gun, but I fully support gun control laws, and many of them would not let a bipolar, anxious, panic-prone individual like me own a gun. But a baseball bat? No fucking problem.
Hell, you can pick up a metal one that makes a nice ping when you smack it. You can buy those wooden ones too and jack them up. Go to town on it with a box cutter so the mother fucker you’re whacking walks away with huge ass sprinters. Drive nails through that thing for special occasions. Wrap that fucker in barbed wire. Heck, I’ve had a buddy sand his down and soak it in gasoline for a week and then go into a fight and light it on fire. Risky to you, yes, but damn near guaranteed to get anyone threatening you running? FUCK yes.
I will never understand why society abandoned clubs as a weapon for hand to hand combat. You can run me through with a sword and sure, I’ll probably die eventually. But a baseball bat, something infinitely cheaper, can be deadly with a single blow.
Now I’m not encouraging violence by any means. But, I will say this. Don’t punch a nazi. Don’t punch a pedophile. Don’t punch a rapist. Take a pimped up baseball bat straight to their cranium.
“you order the same thing everyday and the one day you change your meal i’ve already had it wrapped and ready to go i demand justice” au
“it’s super busy right now and i just got in and my coworker told me that this burrito was for the cutie with the booty and - oh you meant that guy, i thought you meant this guy! oops” au
“yes i’d like to give my compliments to the chef this soup is divine, yes feel free to bring them out here i’d like to give it in person AND OH MY GOD IS THAT THE CHEF THEY ARE HOT I’M NOT DRESSED FOR THIS” au
“my parents have owned this restaurant for years and they haven’t hired anyone under the age of 35 since ever and no mom i’m not flirting with the new waiter oh my god why would i do that please date me you’re too cute for words” au
“i’m a pizza delivery person and i got stuck in this elevator with you trying to deliver my last pizza and i’m so hungry and we shouldn’t but i’m game if you are, god i love pepperoni pizza” au
“you come every saturday five minutes before we close and order a cheeseburger with curly fries, is there a reason for this, or do you just hate us?” au
“this is going to sound weird but that my ex thinks i have a fiance who owns this restaurant and they’re going to be here in five so please pretend to be my significant other, i’ll buy everything on the menu” au
“every time you come you give me a different name for your order and you always pay in cash GOD DAMMIT JUST TELL ME YOUR REAL NAME ‘DYNAMITE’” au
“oh no it’s the horrible lady with the glasses again i refuse to take her order - wait who’s that hottie with her? it’s alright guys, i’ll take one for the team” au
“you are the worst sous chef ever why do you even work here - what - what are you doing? why are you flirting with me? no i’m not doing anything saturday… what did you have in mind?” au
“are you going to order now or what you’ve been holding up the line for fifteen minutes and i was supposed to go on my break two minutes ago” au
“we’re hosting a speed date night and i’ve made eye contact with you on all of your five minutes dates and honestly, someone with a brain talk to this person b/c i might just pour water all over the next person unworthy to date you” au
“I’m sorry i’m making the most orgasmic sounds while i eat this pie, but it’s just so good and i promise i’ll never return if you let me taste the banana cream” au
Is smoke weed all you do? You seem wild boring. 😪✌🏼
Yup, I actually can’t not smoke weed. I have to always be high and breathing in smoke. When I go to bed I hook myself up to a marijuana mask and vape all night cause the fresh air sickens me. I have no personality because the constant smoking has melted my brain into a dull mess. You caught me
first i just want to said Thank everyone for supporting. I still rush my own comic. I hope you guys will that for sure. And that comic will have other character in UT. because I just want them to join in there comic. But that not main character is asriel or other UT characters ^^second i still study about animation for make fighting scene . I confirm that be looking great so much. i think everyone who see my epic pic you know what that looking be ^^.and SORRY everyone . I don’t have money anymore for stay in here . I can stay till next month end. If not have anything better i’ll get back to work in office and have bored life. After that i think i’ll not draw anything. Yup i’ll open donate and commission for get money to stay with your guys >< you know if don’t have that i’ll gone and leave from social media and get back to real life. Hope you guys enjoy your day bud ^^and SEE YAhahaha this gif i make for talking with you guys in sometime ^^
Day 20 + 21 + 22 + 23: doodles, coffee or tea, your study style, favourite way to take a study break | 8.30-31 + 9.1-2.2017 | 30 Day Back to School Challenge by @universi-tea
Day 20: i usually doodle in my notes instead of textbooks ‘coz my teachers have this speciality of making the lesson extra boring that i just wanna sleep so yup have a toothless sending everyone love in moi chemistry flashcards
Day 21: can i have all of them?
Day 22: i tend to remember stuffs better for science subjects w/ A LOT of diagrams, colours and flashcards. For lecture-type subjects, i can use some help from colour coding, mind maps and timeline to memorize stuffs. For maths, practice makes perfect and i just love the satisfaction of filling ur textbooks w/ all the numbers and steps. Btw have a glance of my chemistry, history and maths notes from last year
Day 23: drink some water while checking social medias? i guess XDD
You're super good at writing and you're really creative! And all those languages that you study? That takes so much talent and I think it's super cool !
Honestly I never think that I’m doing enough but I’m super hard on myself so :/ I’m not the best judge.
Since I was little I had the dream of becoming polyglot so I’ve been attending languages classes since I can remember so I can’t imagine myself without learning a language anymore I have been pilling them up until my goals are reached. Not sure why I have this wish of learning them so much but I do.
Request: 12 & 13 for Jungkook please (I really like the news prompts, there are so many that could go together!)
12) You and your bias are in a long distance relationship and he plans a surprise visit.
13) Your bias sneaks into your window
Member: BTS Jungkook x Y/N
You rolled over in your bed, completely comforted by the warmth and safety your blankets provided. The pillows were appropriately squishy, the mattress was the perfect amount of firm, and everything was right with the world. You took a deep breath in, catching the strong scent of magnolias from your open window. Spring was your favorite time of year and leaving your window cracked at night was a natural relaxant.
You hummed to yourself as thunder rolled in the distance. You had settled in early tonight, knowing that rain would be coming at any moment. A crack of lightning illuminated the sky and by extension your bedroom. You squinted your eyes just before the flash, noticing an odd shadow had been cast across your wall and onto the hardwood floor. You blinked hard, shaking your head, certain that your tired eyes were playing tricks on you.
Lightning struck in the distance another time, lighting up your bedroom, confirming the strange shadow that was moving on the opposite side of your window. You took a sharp breath in, feeling as if the blood in your body had turned to ice.
Every worse case scenario began to parade in your mind. Whenever you had moved out of your parent’s home, for a moment, you considered all of the potentially dangerous situations a young millennial could face. A break in, when you lived on the fourth floor, was not the first of your concerns.
Adjusting your eyes to the dark once again, you noticed a figure looming on the opposite side of the glass. You slowly slithered from beneath your sheets, landing with a plop on the rug beneath your bed. You crawled on your hands and knees into the living room, quickly looking around at anything you could use as a weapon. If you managed to reach your cell, which was plugged into the outlet beneath the window in question, you would still have to ward off a burglar for at least five minutes until the police arrived. You picked up your umbrella, the only swingable weapon-like thing within reach and shuffled back toward your bedroom.
Just as your knees slid past the thresh hold, fingers wrapped beneath the underside of the window pane. With a grunt, the invader heaved up onto the window, causing a loud bang. You flinched, completely convinced that with this person’s strength the glass would shatter. A boot clad foot entered the bedroom first, followed by a pair of jeans and a torso covered in a black hoodie. You took a deep breath before launching to your feet, flipping on the light switch, and grasping onto the umbrella.
“Yaaah!” you screeched, hoping to catch the burglar off guard.
“Ahhhh!” the deep voice screeched back, ripping his hood down and pushing his hands out in front of him. “Y/N, It’s me! Don’t swing!”
You gasped as you continued to cling to the umbrella, your knuckles pale from how tightly you were holding on. “Kookie?”
“Yes! Kookie!” he repeated, walking slowly toward you, his hands still out in defense.
“Wait,” you said, tilting your head and narrowing your eyes as you looked at him. You took a broad swing with the umbrella, warning him to keep his distance. “Jungkook is in Korea! Jungkook uses doors to enter someone’s home!”
“Then who am I?” Jungkook breathed, his eyes wide. “Nega Jungkook? I swear on G-dragon, it’s me Y/N!”
“Am I dreaming?” you grumbled, speaking more to yourself than the visitor. “This is a dream…a nightmare? Wake up Y/N, wake up.”
“Give me…the umbrella,” Jungkook said slowly, taking a few steps toward you again. You furrowed your brows, not moving an inch. He continued to move, slowly lifting his hands to grip the end of the umbrella and ease it from your hands. “Okay, okay good, you’re giving me the umbrella. Now I’m setting the umbrella on the floor. Here I go, no quick movements, staying in your direct line of sight.”
“Why am I not waking up?” you grumbled, shaking your head and slapping yourself on the cheek lightly.
“Because you’re already awake,” Jungkook chuckled. He took a few more steps toward you, placing his hands lightly on your crossed arms. “It’s really me. I’m really here.”
“But what…” you said slowly, coming to terms with your awake state. “How? What are you doing here?”
You searched his face for a moment, confirming it was indeed him. You lunged at him, wrapping your arms around his neck, nearly causing both of you to fall over.
“I missed you, and our schedule wasn’t very busy, so I okay-ed it with the manager hyungs and wanted to surprise you,” he grinned, the smile causing his nose to crinkle. “And I’m pretty sure you were surprised.”
“Is that what you want to call it?” you grumbled, smacking him lightly on the chest. “I thought I was going to die. I thought I was going to have to kill you!”
“With an umbrella?” he asked, lifting his brows.
“I would’ve gotten creative,” you muttered. “I can defend myself. I’m no wilting flower and I’’m definitely not a damsel in distress.”
“I know,” he sighed, kissing your temple lightly. “And that’s what I love about you.”
“And you have to admit, a little fear keeps a relationship interesting,” you giggled.
“Yup, nope, I could deal with a nice and boring relationship from now on,” Jungkook nodded, pursing his lips. “I’m okay with being as uninteresting as possible if it means I don’t get attacked with umbrellas.”
“Oh quit being dramatic,” you sighed. “No one was attacked.”
“Yet,” Jungkook grumbled.
“Remember when you were just talking about how you loved that I wasn’t a damsel in distress? Yeah, let’s go back to that,” you laughed, nuzzling into Jungkook’s warm arms. You had missed the small things, such as his simple brand of warmth that just signified that he was there. You took a deep breath in, smiling at his unique cologne. He was sensitive to scents, which meant more often than not he had a hybrid of smells gracing his skin.
You both jumped as an especially loud crack of thunder ripped through the silence of the night, causing Jungkook to lean back and look at you lovingly. “Not a damsel in distress, eh?”
“Being surprised by loud noises and not being able to defend yourself are too different things entirely,” you groaned. “But enough about me. Remind me why you couldn’t use the door again?”
“Admittedly picking out the correct window of an apartment building and scaling up a fire escape was not my first choice,” Jungkook chuckled. “Believe it or not.”
“I just thought you had a flair for the dramatic,” you teased.
“Well, I didn’t think you would go to bed so early, and apparently my knocking couldn’t be heard over the thunder,” Jungkook sighed. “And I didn’t want to text or call to give myself away. It was a surprise after all. The more important question is why was your window open? That’s not safe, Y/N.”
“To be fair, I think you are the only human in the world who has climbed to the fourth floor via emergency exit to enter someone’s window,” you whispered. “I don’t normally have these problems.”
“Yeah, well, be more careful next time,” he grumbled, messing up your hair.
You scoffed. “Yeah well, quit breaking and entering and I wouldn’t have to be more careful.”