i was always scared

One last post and then I’m going to bed.

I’m listening to Strong. This song always hits me like a punch to the stomach, but tonight, tonight one part in particular was like a brick to the face.

You see, everyone always talks about Louis like he’s afraid of himself somehow, afraid of his own shadow, afraid of who he is, afraid -especially- of Harry and of what any appearance of “friendship” might mean to his reputation as a laddy bro dude pal. But here we have Louis writing a song that draws nautical parallels and references their shared tattoos and also references the first song his boyfriend ever wrote, (”I hold on, it’s getting harder to breathe/Don’t let me go” “I’ll always hold on”), and this song is declarative. Reassuring. Louis’ not scared. He’s telling you he’s not scared. And then, in the second verse that he sings entirely on his own, I have never heard more matter-of-factness in his voice when he says, “There’s nothing I’m running from/You make me strong”. You make me strong. That’s it. No question, no wistfulness, just pure fact. Harry makes him strong.

We all talk about Louis’ strength all of the time, and this is Louis telling us that Harry is the source of that strength. 

I’m so emotional tonight.

anonymous asked:

Do u think jason could be charles and Charles could have killed the real jason and he is actually the one barried since they both look alike

Originally posted by queen---pink

Yes. Yes I do think it’s possible and I think it’s really upsetting. I’ve always loved Jason and I’m so scared he’s going to be Charles and that all of my love for him will not longer be brighter than the sun *sobs*

I have this crippling fear that I’ll always look for a you in everyone else I meet and for that I’ll always fuck myself over.
I’m scared because this pain doesn’t stop and my doctor ask how much on a scale of 1-10 and I screamed your name and now I have strangers handing me pity. I prayed to God for him to help me make you love me again but he just said I’d be sinning once more and he’ll would be waiting for me, but I’m already there and you’re somewhere else.
I miss you.
I tried so hard to be enough for you but I see I’ve failed at trying because that new girl you found overfills you with satisfaction.
for your replacement drugs explore my body instead of your fingertips.
I ever named my lighter after you,
I figured it’d make sense, since both of you are no good for me.
I know you say you call because you care but I can’t help but feel you’re calling to remind me you’re doing fine and that once more, I’ve fucked up.
Anyway, I’m happy you’re doing fine and I hope she makes you half as happy as you made me and I hope one day I will mean these words.
-idc
11:56pm
please stop calling

anonymous asked:

who are your fave accounts/pals on tumblr?

aight fam sit down bc this is going to be a long one i love so many people on tumblr you don’t even know.

so dauntlester is simultaneously one of my friends and also probs my fave account if i’m being honest she’s really cool and i love her loads

 eternallyphan is also a really good friend and her blog is super gr8 i dig it so much she’s so interactive it’s amazing

 the-fandom-walrus-9 dorky-alpacalion poisonfedflowers mimiranda04 and zoeydreamer19 are probs the 5 that i’m the closest too on here tbh, they’re always so sweet and nice and i love them to death.

emily ( cringe-attacks ) is amazing and me and thatcoolcatcaroline just recently became aqquainted due to some odd circumstances lmao

 asstheticlester has an amazing blog and we just recently became friends which is super cool bc i’ve been lowkey fangirling over her for months oops 

there’s a ton of people that i love but i’m always too scared to talk to bc they’re hella cool and i am an anxiety ridden egg, including but not limited to danthrusts danisontnonfire constipatedhowell avidhowell cookiephil cleverhowell llster like-totally-phan lineofsymmetry nerdphan ohphil phanscuddles and sunshinelester

ofc there’s tons more people but these are the ones i could think of off the top of my head without making this post super super long lmao i hope this helped (pssstttt if you aren’t following any of them you should they’re all amazing and have super cool blogs i promise)

i’m really sad because i’ve never been in a relationship where it ended so badly to the point where i completely stop dating. I hate that I can’t move on, I hate that I don’t want to. I’ve lost complete interest in dating and that scares me because i’ve always been strong enough to move on.

anonymous asked:

I was five back then. We were in a birthday party, and it was a pool party. So yeah. I was sitting alone because my aunt left me to talk with her friends. Then this clown came along, and talked to me. Then he started playing with me, and carried me. He took me near the pool and he started dipping me in the pool. I breathed in the water and I started to cry and he started making funny faces to make me laugh but it made me cry even more because he was scary i hate clowns and im seventeen

 :( I always wondered why people were scared of clowns.

MESSAGE ME YOUR BEST/WORST CHILDHOOD MEMORY

Just something little I learned today.

Today I found out my friend had her son this morning. I imagined her just holding him and loving on him and it sent a surge of sadness tumbling through my body.

Usually when this happens I hold back my tears. I don’t let myself feel sad and I push my way through. I tell myself that one day it will be my turn and I will be the one in love.

Today I broke down. I cried because my womb is empty. I cried because I feel like it will always be empty. I cried because from the time my friends baby was conceived and born I have not been able to get pregnant. I cried because my body isn’t doing what it should. I cried because I felt like I was failing my husband. I cried because I was scared life will always be this way.

But I felt better afterwards. It’s okay to cry and grieve the emptiness. It’s okay to be sad as long as you don’t live there.

Today I am sad because I am childless. Today I am sad because I can’t see the end of this journey. Tomorrow I might be sad in a few months I might still be sad. But I will get through it. I will always have faith.


- Ava

I went to the gym with my Dad and lifted weights in public for the first time. I walked/ran 2 miles. 1 mile to warm up. 1 mile for cool down. Worked a little arms and a lot of legs. I love the Smith Machine!I can’t wait to get back in the gym. I’ve always been scared to go because I wasn’t sure how everything worked, but my Dad has experience so I felt more at ease and was able to push myself.

crumblycosplaystationxo9 asked:

I just wanted to tell you that you really inspire me because your so so SO kind,your cosplays are amazing,and you I always wanted to make a cosplay/art blog but I was always scared and now I have one because of you and I'm getting better feedback then I could ever imagine,thank you 😊

aww I’m really glad to hear that! good luck on your blog and thank you that I can be the one who inspires you! much love and all the best ♥♥

anonymous asked:

my weirdest fear is dark blankets lemme tell you.. i'm always so scared there will be a spider or something on the blanket and it'll blend in and everything

i didnt ask but thanks for telling me anyway

anonymous asked:

I'm really scared that JP will destroy everything they build for Delena during 6 seasons... i'm really scared for them and for Damon next season. I'm scared that they are going to screw Damon and turn him OOC. I'm scared they're going to destroy Delena in the name of fanbating and for ship that didn't even existed untill few months ago.

I’m always scared to be honest. But we need to trust Plec, we had a good DE so far, not it’s on break but we need to hope it will be fine after all. They will probably mess with other ships but I like to stay positive over it ;)

anonymous asked:

I have a boyfriend and we've only been dating for a month, and I've always been really really really scared to do anything sexual because of what guys will think of me, but I really wanna do stuff with him but I'm so so so scared! Like I feel nauseated thinking about it... What do I do?

you are not ready. the fact that you are nervous about what other people think shows it. you need to do things for you and you only. also, a month is a relatively short time and you do not have to do anything that you are on the fence about. take it slow, get to really know him, and when you feel that you are ready and don’t need to justify your actions other than the fact that it is something you want to do, then you have my blessing to go ahead and do it. 

Scared

I always knew I loved to dance. I love it more than volleyball. I spent four years in volleyball and it meant a lot to me. I always thought that I might be good at dancing and I saw my potential at frat party’s my freshman year.

I keep contemplating trying out for the hip-hop dance team. But I’m scared. I don’t wanna try and fail. So I don’t even want to try out. Because what if I spend a month learning and practicing and not making it. Then what?

I would rather not try. Even if that means I might make it and have so much fun.