i was about to cry because of tumblr and their requirements. d:

anonymous asked:

I'm intending to move out of my mom's by fall, but I have two cats, and idk much about how to care for them on my own. I want to do it right, but I'm not very good with figuring out vet info or other care stuff for them.

Okay, so I’ve just spent the last two hours writing this post for you, in the hopes that you will change your mind. It’s way longer than I intended, but I tried to be thorough and comprehensive. Know that I have strong opinions about how to raise cats because they’re a huge part of my life. You might not agree with what I have to say, but this is what’s worked for me. I urge you to try different things and find out what works best for you! Before I get into it, let me talk about my cats…

I have a four year old orange tabby (Mason) and a sixteen year old tortoiseshell cat (Gretel) pictured in Appendix D. They have completely opposite personalities (Mason is super confident and talkative, Gretel is more standoffish) and they did NOT get along for the longest time. I’ve been with Gretel since she was three years old, so we’re very close and she’s very protective of me. After we moved into our current apartment, my boyfriend and I bought Mason to keep Gretel company. He was a rescue cat that had been previously returned after being adopted once, because he was “fresh”. He gave me the runaround when he first moved in, so I understand what it’s like to have a difficult cat.

It’s taken two years for them to both be comfortable with each other, but last week they fell asleep on the bed together (see Appendix D) and it was so beautiful. These cats have brought so much joy into my life, and I don’t know where I’d be without them. All these experiences, good and bad, have taught me that I never want to live without cats in my life.

Please feel free to direct message me if you want to talk about what taking care of cats on your own will mean for you. I am here for all your cat needs!

The Complete Guide to Living on Your Own (With Cats)

Phase 1: Your New Apartment

Before moving into your new home, follow these steps to make the process as comfortable as possible for your cats. You need to understand that they will be upset and act strange for the first few days, and this is absolutely normal and expected. Give them time- they’ll adjust.

1. Move the cats last. Move everything else you own into your new apartment, and get it set up as much as you can before moving your cats. Make sure there are plenty of places for them to hide that are easily accessible, like under your bed or in the back of a closet. Initially your cats will be very shell-shocked, and it will be easier for them to adjust if they smell familiar furniture and are able to find a secure place to hide.

2. Feliway. Buy yourself Feliway and spray it on walls and around doorways at your kitty’s eye level. I can’t tell you what it is or why it works (Science Side of Tumblr please explain), but your cats smell it and will feel much calmer. Feliway also helps when your cat starts peeing on everything, see Phase 2: Tantrums.

3. Moving your cats. If you have two cats, make sure that you move both cats at the same time. Even if they’re not the best of pals, a familiar face in a time of stress will soothe them. In the car ride they will cry, drool, pee, and sound like they’re dying. This is horrible to hear, but no that it’s only temporary. If you were in their situation you would act the same way! 

Hyperventilating. If you hear your cat start to hyperventilate, move them out of the carrier and comfort them immediately. I was transporting a cat with a high fever to the vet once and he started to do this, so I literally pulled over and drove with the cat in my lap the rest of the way. Once in my lap, he relaxed and started to breathe normally. The vet told me that I was lucky I did this, because the cat could’ve had a heart-attack. 

4. In the new apartment. Open your cat carrier and allow your cats to explore their new home at their own pace. Depending on your cat’s confidence, they might make a beeline for your bed and hide under it for the next two days. This is absolutely fine. Your cats may not want to eat or use the bathroom during these first few days, and this is normal. You often won’t eat if you’re stressed out, so understand that when they’re hungry, they’ll eat. If one of your cats is very upset, place their food and water bowl in the room they’re hiding in, so that they won’t feel threatened while they eat. 

5. Give it time. This could be less than a day or over a week, but your cat will come out from their hiding space of their own accord. They will walk around their new home and take everything in, and they’ll make themselves comfortable. Be there for your cat during this time, offering encouragement and love as they need it. It’s okay if they come out and retreat back to their safe hiding space, tell yourself that they will come out again.

Phase 2: Tantrums

Cats are mostly independent animals, but they do require lots of love and attention. Expect at least one or all of these tantrums to be thrown when you move them into your new home. Your cats are in a new environment that they are not wholly comfortable with, so it’s important to be patient and help them through this difficult time. 

1. Pooping. Your cat has an excellent sense of smell- they know where their litter box is. If they’re choosing to poop outside of the box, they are most likely looking for attention. Make sure that the poop has no blood in it (see Phase 4: Veterinarians + Common Diseases) and spend time making your cat feel special. This includes treats, playtime, combing, whatever they like best. 

2. Peeing A. Peeing is a form of scenting, which is essentially your cat being like “this is mine”. Your cats will probably do this a lot when you first move in, so make sure you have the proper cleaners ready (see Appendix A). Clean the spot thoroughly, and spray Feliway all over it. Your cat will smell the Feliway and think “Okay, I peed there already” and walk on. I’m not kidding. 

3. Peeing B. Peeing can also be an cry for attention, slightly different from scenting. Here’s how to tell the difference- does your cat only pee when you’re around? Typically this will only be done in areas that you frequent, like your bed or your couch. If so, then this is a cry for attention- see “Pooping”.

4. Peeing C. Is your cat declawed? I sure hope not, because that’s inhumane. But anyways, if it is… declawed cats require a different type of litter than the normal Tidy Cats brand. Call your local vet and consult with them about the best types of litter to use. 

5. Attacking. Is your cat attacking people/places/things? Get toys and play with them. Cats are evolved from fearsome predators, they need to be stimulated or they’ll get bored and start hunting whatever they can find. Here are some great toys to buy your cats so that they can “hunt” on their own, there’s something in there for every cat type.

Phase 3: A Place For Everyone

Jackson Galaxy is the Cat Guru, and you can find episodes of his show “My Cat From Hell” on Netflix. Whenever Jackson enters a home of a troublesome cat, he always looks at the environment in terms of how “cat-proof” it is. Your cat needs to have their own stuff, and whether this is a cardboard box or a $150 piece of cat furniture, it needs to be there. 

1. Bush vs. Tree dweller. I have a bush dweller and a tree dweller! Bush dwellers are the cats that like to hang out under tables and under beds, and they’re thought to be cats with less self-confidence. Tree dwellers like to climb and look down on their surroundings, reconnecting with their ancestors in the jungle. Cater your apartment based off of your cat’s needs. See Phase 6: Miscellaneous to learn more about different cat personalities. 

A word on bush dwellers. I was initially very upset to learn that Gretel is considered a low self-esteem cat. I kept trying to think of ways to make her more comfortable her surroundings, in the hopes that she would one day want to climb things and perch up high. Since getting Mason, she has slowly become a bush/tree dweller. She now climbs to the top rung of her cat furniture, and asks me to help her up on the kitchen table (it’s tall so she can’t jump). What I’m trying to say is that cats will gain confidence as they get more comfortable with their surroundings, and having a second and way more confident cat has helped her come into herself, even in her old age. So proud of my baby.

2. Cat furniture. I’m not going to lie to you, cat furniture is hella expensive. But it’s life-changing. Your cats recognize that its a piece of furniture for them, and they will run right over to it and begin exploring. If your cat is wary about climbing to the higher platforms or levels of the furniture, entice them with treats or a toy. The general rule is one piece of furniture per cat, because they will fight over them. If you have a very active cat, I’d recommend getting a multi-leveled piece. 

3. Cardboard boxes. The rumors are true- cats love cardboard boxes. Just open it up and leave it in the middle of the floor, and allow your cats to explore. If you’re not ready to drop $$$, place a warm blanket in the box and allow your cats to curl up. 

4. Windows. If you leave for work, leave your blinds open for your cats to peer out. If you don’t, they’ll peer out anyway and wreck your blinds. In the summer time it might seem like a nice idea to leave your windows partially open, but always make sure that your window screens are secure. If they’re not, add masking tape around the sides of the window until you can press on the screen and it doesn’t collapse.

5. Food and water. I like to keep a bowl of water in each room for the cats, and I refresh this daily. I like to add ice cubes in the summer so that the water isn’t that awful room temperature. If you feed your cats dry food, make sure that they’re drinking lots of water after eating. 

6. Litter box. Yeah, I know- it’s the worst part of being a cat owner. I keep mine in my hallway closet, and I leave the door partially open so that the cats can get in and out as they please. I’ve seen people with litter boxes in their bathrooms, their hallways, behind chairs in their living room, etc. The general rule is to have one more litter box than there is cat. I’m sorry, that’s crazy talk. I have a one bedroom apartment and I’m not having three litter boxes. One has worked fine for my babies, I just have to be vigilant about cleaning it. 

As far as choosing a cat litter brand, most cats are not picky. Some, however, are. Tidy Cats is expensive so I use whatever is on sale at CVS. I prefer scented because I have the litter box right by my front door. Find what works for you, but listen to your cat’s needs. 

Be wary of any brand of “lightweight” cat litter other than Tidy Cats. One time I bought Stop & Shop’s “Companion” lightweight litter and it hardened and stuck to the bottom of my litter box and I literally had to rehydrate it to remove it. DISGUSTING. 

7. Wall furniture. If you don’t have a lot of room on the floor of your apartment, consider putting up wall furniture for your cat. This can be anything from an expensive piece like this, or a simple wooden board for your cats to walk on. 

8. The floor is lava. Confident cats like to be up high on tables, window sills, cat furniture, etc. This is because back in their ancestral days, they had to peer down from the treetops to hunt their prey. Allow your cat this luxury, and try not to freak out if they walk on your kitchen counters or sit on your dining room table. Your cat is programmed to do this, the fact that your cat wants to be up high is a sign of confidence, a sign that your cat is comfortable with their surroundings. 

Phase 4: Veterinarians + Common Diseases

Your cat’s health is so important! There are lots of things you can do to maintain your cat’s health on your own (see Appendix B), but know that you will need to take one or both of your cats to the vet sometime this year. Remember to consult medical professionals if your cat is visibly ill. I am not a medical professional, but here are some of the things I’ve dealt with as a cat owner.

1. Hospitals vs. Doctors. My biggest expense as a cat owner is taking my babies to the vet. I have a Veterinary Hospital literally two minutes from my home, and Gretel hates the car so much that I always just take her there to get her to calm down. In general, hospitals are WAY more expensive than regular vet’s offices. Like, I’m talking over $100 difference. The expense is worth it for me, but it might not be for you. Find your closest vet office and put their number into your phone ASAP.

2. Making an appointment. If your cat is having a crisis, you can call during normal business hours and bring your cat in right then and there, but it’s going to cost you extra money. If your cat is not in imminent danger, call and make an appointment for the next day.

Theoretically, you’re supposed to bring your cat(s) or yearly check-ups and make sure they get all their vet shots. I’m gonna level with you- I don’t do this. I wish I could afford to do it, but I live paycheck to paycheck and can’t. You need to be able to take care of yourself, so if you’re poor like me, I’d advise saving vet visits for emergencies only. 

3. Vet insurance. Obviously- I do not have vet insurance. This means that I pay for all my vet visits out of pocket, and vet offices do not allow you to pay in installments, you have to pay all at once. My downstairs neighbor once had her cat held by a vet’s office because she didn’t have the money to pay for the vet bills. She had to get an emergency loan from her bank to be able to pay and get her cat released. Yikes. The one person I do know with pet insurance says that it saves her about 75% of her vet bill, but she’s a grown ass woman with a house. It’s okay if you don’t have vet insurance, there are still things you can do to improve your cat’s quality of life for reasonably cheap (See Appendix B).

3. Flea medication. Flea medication can be expensive, especially if you have two cats. Unfortunately, Advantage is the only medication that I have found effective. I’ve tried several different knock off brands, and while they worked, they didn’t last nearly as long as Advantage. I don’t worry about fleas that much in the winter, but I put it on my cats during the summer because there are lots of stray cats where I live.

4. Vomit. An occasional puke pile is nothing to be concerned about. There are lots of reasons why cats throw up, but 99% of them are digestion related. The worst part of puke is having to clean it up. As disgusting as it may be, the best way to clean up puke is to allow it to dry and to then clean it (see Appendix A). Lots of cats have food allergies (Mason, for example), so if your cat is throwing up multiple times in a week, change their diet (see Phase 5: Cat food).  If your cat throws up blood, take them to the vet immediately. 

5. Feline Respiratory Virus. Cats do not get colds like humans do, so be very wary if your cat has a runny nose, watery eye discharge, is sneezing or acting lethargic. These infections can kill cats if left untreated. If your cat is showing these symptoms, take them to the vet immediately. The vet will prescribe antibiotics that you will have to give your cat, and your cat should be feeling better within 24 hours. Once a cat gets an FRV, they are more susceptible to it. Cats can infect other cats, so keep your cats separated and give them separate food and water until your infected cat is visibly better. 

6. Bloody poop. Bloody poop (while disgusting) does not always signify illness. Sometimes it means that your cat is having trouble digesting, but other times it means that your cat has worms. Keep an eye on your cat’s poop, and if it’s still bloody after two additional days, take them to the vet and bring a sample of the poop with you. This stool sample will be tested by your vet, and if you don’t have one they will send you home and wait for you acquire one before testing anything.

7. Lumps. My cat Gretel currently has a lump on her face. I noticed it a couple months ago and took her to the vet. If your cat gets a lump suddenly, see if you can move the lump around with your fingers. If the lump feels solid and causes your cat pain, make an appointment ASAP. Gretel’s lump moves around freely and doesn’t cause her pain at all, so my vet told me not to worry about it. Cats grow non-cancerous tumors on their faces and bodies, as well as excesses of fatty tissue that cause bumps. Feeling a bump does not guarantee that your cat’s life is in danger.

8. Bottom line. Wondering if something is wrong with your cat? Ask yourself this simple question- Is your cat eating and drinking water? If your cat is not eating or drinking water, then something is wrong. Make an appointment and take them to the vet.

Phase 5: Cat Food

Spend some time researching different brands before deciding what to feed your cat. Here are some guidelines to help you.

1. Wet food vs. Dry food. It’s a scientifically acknowledged fact that wet food is much better for your cats than dry food. Unfortunately canned food can be up to three times as expensive per pound as dry food, and I can’t afford that on my budget. If you feed dry food, make sure that your cat is properly hydrated and drinking lots of water after they eat.

2. Junk food vs. Health food. Some cats are finicky eaters, mine are not. They do not care what type of food it is, they’re just happy to eat it. Meow Mix is super inexpensive and filling for cats, but it’s not healthy. It’s essentially like eating McDonalds every day. As a young adult, you probably can’t afford to spend large quantities of money on cat food. So compromise. Buy a bag of high quality “healthy” cat food, and a bag of cheap cat food, and give your cats a mixture of this.

3. Grain intolerance. Allergies are a real thing with cats. If your cat is having a hard time keeping food down, switch them to a grain free diet. I buy Rachel Ray cat food off of Amazon because Mason has a delicate stomach.

4. Proteins. Switch up the proteins in the food you’re feeding your cats. Spend a few months with salmon, then switch to chicken, then back to salmon, etc. I don’t remember why, but studies were done and this proved to be more healthy for cats.

5. How much food? Current studies say that cats should be feed about a half a cup of cat food per day. PER DAY. Cats also should have definitive feeding times, and should not be allowed to “graze” or eat all day. I feed my cats a cup of food in the morning (2 cats, half a cup each) and that’s all they get. One of the most common problems that cat owners have is over-feeding. 

6. Fast eaters. Mason has this problem where he gobbles down food super fast (he doesn’t even chew it half the time) and then throws up a few minutes later. You can buy special plates online that force cats to eat slowly like this one

7. What not to feed them. Check out this link. Also if your cat accidentally drinks antifreeze give them alcohol

8. Changing food. Remember that you can’t just feed your cat one food one day and a different food the next day. If you do, they’ll throw up. If you need to switch your cat’s food, do it gradually. Here’s how:

  • First day of switch: 95% old food, 5% new food
  • Second day: 75% old food, 25% new food
  • Third day: 75% old food, 25% new food
  • Fourth day: 50% of both foods
  • Fifth day: 50% of both foods
  • Sixth day: 25% old food, 75% new food
  • Seventh day: 25% old food, 75% new food
  • Eighth day: 5% old food, 95% new food
  • Ninth day: 5% old food, 95% new food 
  • 10th day: 100% new food!

Phase 6: Miscellaneous 

1. Cat types. I’m a big believer in the ASPCA feline-alities. ASPCA employees essentially give cats a personality test to see how they perform under stress. They have something wonderful to say about even the shyest of cats, it really puts everything in perspective. Check it out here. Points if you can guess my cat’s personality types based off what I’ve written here.

2. Bathing. Generally speaking, cats and water do not mix. I don’t bathe my cats because they don’t really get gross enough to require bathing. The one time I did try to bathe Gretel was an absolute disaster, so barring her overcoming her fear of water, I’m never going to do it again. She’s old and sleeps next to my head every night, so sometimes I have to help her clean up a bit. If your cat steps in poop or dirt or whatever, use baby wipes. 

3. “My Cat Doesn’t Like to Play”. Bullshit. All cats like to play, you just haven’t found the right toy. Mason responds to strings that are waved in circles above his head, squeaky toys, and things that are thrown so that he can run and “catch” his prey. Gretel likes crinkly things like candy wrappers, and will only chase a string if it’s dragged on the ground. Mess around and figure out what makes your cat tick. After playing your cat will:

  • Have a snack
  • Clean themselves
  • Take a nap

4. Reprimanding cats. I found a great post on Tumblr a year ago explaining this phenomenon, but I currently can’t find it, so I’m going to paraphrase. Essentially, cats don’t have great short-term memory, so you have to be careful when yelling at them. If your cat pees on your couch, and you don’t discover it until three hours later, yelling at your cat will accomplish absolutely nothing. They won’t understand why you’re upset, and they won’t understand what they did was wrong. You have to reprimand your cat’s either while they’re in the act of being naughty (i.e, peeing on the couch) or directly afterwards. 


Appendix A. Cleaners

  • Carpet cleaner (I recommend Resolve)
  • Hardwood floor cleaner (I recommend Bona)
  • Plastic gloves (I recommend whatever is cheapest)
  • Bleach (or a tile cleaner you feel more comfortable with)

 Appendix B. Caring for your cat.

  • Feliway
  • Cat lax (for those with hairballs)
  • Flea medication (you can buy Advantage in bulk on Amazon)
  • Brush (brushing decreases the risk of hairballs, fleas, and your clothes looking like shit. It can also be a way to bond with your cat)
  • Toys (get an assortment like this one)
  • Supplements (if you have an old cat, check out elder cat supplements on Amazon)
  • Ear cleansers like Epiklean (Did you know that you’re supposed to clean your cat’s ears every month? I didn’t! Gretel had an ear infection because her ears hadn’t been cleaned in 15 years)
  • Baby wipes (Gretel is very old, and sometimes she has a poopy butt. I recommend baby wipes for elder cats)
  • Multi-purpose treats (buy treats that are beneficial for your cat’s health, like treats with calcium or treats that help with hairballs)

Appendix C. Cat behavior.

Appendix D. Mason and Gretel

anonymous asked:

*whipsers* im new in the voltron fandom and im really confused. who is Mothman?

Alrighty Anon, so this is a question I see asked/reflected in a LOT of the tags whenever I post Meithman, and as a result, I’ve actually been meaning to make a post to explain it as best I can for those folks! SO I GUESS THIS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO ACTUALLY DO IT!

The “who” is just as important, however, as the “why,” and to be frank, the “why” isn’t super clear to me, and when I go digging deeper, I feel like Tumblr isn’t actually showing all the results when I search for the truth! (CONSPIRACY!)  So my information is a) not 100% certain, and b) I can’t back it up to give credit where credit is due to whoever made the first, shall we say, “connections” in building this piece of fandom lore, such as it is. I’d love to know as much as anyone!

AN ILLUSTRATED GUIDE, no longer with deep-digging stripes required, by semi-popular demand!

So first off, is the answer to your ACTUAL question: WHO IS MOTHMAN?

Essentially, Mothman can perhaps best be summed up as an urban legend/cryptid with no actual canon connection to the Voltron show. That’s right, you’re not crazy, you didn’t miss something glaringly obvious! (OR DID YOU.)

[An artist’s interpretation.]

From the Wikipedia article on Mothman, “In West Virginia folklore, the Mothman is a legendary creature reportedly seen in the Point Pleasant area from November 12, 1966, to December 15, 1967. The first newspaper report was published in the Point Pleasant Register dated November 16, 1966, titled “Couples See Man-Sized Bird … Creature … Something”. The national press soon picked up the reports and helped spread the story across the country.“

[What a fantastic headline!]

There were various Mothman sightings back around ‘66-’67 or so, etc, etc, and while many of those sightings are suspected of being hoaxes or misattributions of perfectly normal phenomena (as well as tricksters), the sightings were also sometimes said to precede catastrophic events, etc., leading to the additional conspiracy theory of the of a prophetic element, popularized in John A. Keel’s 1975 book, “The Mothman Prophecies,” made into a movie in 2002. (One such “linked” disaster being the collapse of the Silver Bridge, which included the very real, very tragic loss of many lives.) IIRC some conspiracy theory-type TV shows postulated that Mothman kind of “came” to the town and revealed itself as something of a warning that something bad was about to happen, while others believed Mothman somehow caused the disasters. (Ah, good old conspiracy theory TV…)

Now, with all this unrelated-to-Voltron stuff in mind, the next logical question you might be asking would, of course, be: WHY MOTHMAN?

And it’s a great one! And I’ll be honest, I probably know about as well as you do - my own assumptions are merely that: assumptions. Like most people, I saw the art/tags/head-canons and went, “…What…?” I kind of pieced together what I assume is the reasoning for how it came to be on my own - so my explanation could be spot on, or it could be way off - but I’ve seen similar opinions reflected elsewhere, so I’m fairly confident that my best guess is at least somewhat relevant to why this all came together.

[Keith reveals his chef d’oeuvre at Gallery Desert Shack, June 10th, 2016.]

Honestly, it largely comes down to Keith’s S1E1 living situation and preoccupations. Living alone in a shack in the desert, tracking conspiracies on a cork board, linked together with COLOURED FLIPPIN’ YARN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! (And tied in weensy bows! uwu)

So, from there, if you narrow down conspiracy theorist!Keith a bit and you come to him searching, specifically, for the Blue Lion, which, on its own, basically sounds like a cryptid (cryptids, of course, being creatures who cannot be/have not been proven or disproven by science. Well-known examples include the Loch Ness Monster, Sasquatch, Yeti, etc.).  After all, a blue lion sounds about as likely as Bigfoot, right?

[Collective groan]

Conspiracy theorist!Keith, not too surprisingly, is often paired with conspiracy theorist!Pidge, who similarly was preoccupied with the conviction that there were aliens puttering about, having a good old chin-wag about something called Voltron, and that said aliens were, in some way, possibly connected to the disappearance of the Kerberos crew, etc.

So. Conspiracy Theorist!Keith begets General Cryptid-Seeking!Keith. You follow?

(Somewhat unrelated, but while you’re here - along a similar vein, Lance, whilst skeptical of all of this, latches on later to the idea that the Castle-Ship is haunted, which, when you float them all together, makes for a really fun paranormal investigation team AU! I like to think Hunk would be really into gemology, Allura would have some possible psychic ability, and Coran would be in charge of setting up the technical experiments & baseline tests,  while Shiro would be the resident skeptic with a dark past/experience he refuses to admit was real. GOOD TIMES! But nobody asked about my random AU head-canons…)


So then, why exactly did anyone arrive at focusing on Mothman specifically? I’m… not really sure. D: It’s something I’d lovet to know; I’ve tried to look into it, but, as I said, Tumblr doesn’t want me to know. Maybe because Mothman toes the line between being considered a cryptid and an alien? (There are UFO theories as well as cryptid theories regarding Mothy.) Idk.  I’m pretty sure someone (I don’t know who, I’d source if I knew for certain) just kind of latched onto cryptid-seeking Keith, it evolved specifically towards a fascination with Mothman in particular, and then before you know it, other people followed suit, and then there were posts and art about Mothman’s fantastic abs, and it escalated. (Or maybe it didn’t really escalate. I don’t actually see a lot of Meithman content these days… What a loss…)

There is this line: “It’s like something… some energy was telling me to search. […] Each [carving] tells a slightly different story about a blue lion… but they all share clues, leading to some event, some arrival happening last night.”

This could be a reason as to why Mothman might have been the cryptid of focus - the prophecy connection. But I feel like this is perhaps grasping…? It could have been that someone just kinda said, “Mothman,” and it stuck. (Or, as with the Meithman valentine I posted the other day, MAYBE IT’S A MOTH-TO-A-FLAME ATTRACTION JOKE? A+ if so. If not, I feel blessed anyway. What a perfect OTP.)

I also like to think this lil’ carving of Voltron’s silhouette could be said to vaaaaguely resemble Mothman. At least in so far as it also does not really resemble Voltron either. Let’s be real though; it could also be a very distinguished looking Kaltenecker.

Anyway, fast-forward a bit through the random conception of this, and Keith pining for Mothman is suddenly a… thing… understood and accepted (well, accepted, anyway) by a large segment of the fandom, VERY MUCH NOT UNDERSTOOD by another segment, and for other people, whichever side of it they’re on, it just confuses them anyway. The fandom, therefore, is suddenly left with the pairing that, by and large, seems to be colloquially accepted as “Meithman” (though I have also seen “Meith,” “Keithman,” and “help how tf do I tag this?”).


I’ve been meaning to do this for a while, so thanks for asking, Anon! I hope this has been enlightening and entertaining, if not precisely helpful!

Getting Caught

Here it is. The present. Or well, the past since it was technically four days ago, but still. The present.

Let me start off with this, my mom is not in the country. She is gone until February 14th and I am dreading and also awaiting the day she comes back. I want to see her because I miss her and I love her, but I also know when she comes back she also has to find out the truth. Her daughter tried to steal something in a store she frequents.

Now my mom’s reputation is very important to her. VERY IMPORTANT. More important than to most people, and that is because of her occupation (which I will not disclose). So when she finds out, not only will she be heartbroken and worried about me and my future (which is also very important to her because she works very hard to assure that my future is bright and I have everything I need to make it bright. I know I’m a lucky daughter who does stupid things.), she will also be heartbroken and worried about her reputation.

That being said, my father and I went to a JcPenney to buy my mom jewelry she specified on wanting during a sale that went on while she is gone. (that doesn’t agree with tenses but whatever) While there, we waited for an attendant to help us, I spotted the small Sephora. I pocketed three items totalling 118$.

My dad and I picked out the jewelry, and I, despite being nervous, continued on my way. I felt nervous because there were cameras everywhere. There were not a lot of people, but a relatively good amount. 

I did my research on shoplifting hauls and tips on tumblr. One of the basic things is if you have a gut feeling you’re being watched or something is going wrong, something is going to go wrong. Drop your stuff and go. I had a gut feeling. I was stupid enough to say, oh well, and keep going.

We walked out the store, and I passed the sensors and I felt relief. I didn’t ring. Not three feet into the parking lot a man with greying hair and glasses stopped me, pulled out a black wallet looking thing, out came a gold badge and said “Please come with me”. My heart is beating so fast as I type this.

I couldn’t believe this was real. After countless stories on tumblr, countless hauls, all my friends stuff which is 87% stolen, and I, on my first attempt, get caught. I didn’t believe. I wanted to cry. They took me into a back room and my dad kept asking questions.

Let me tell you this. It was probably the worst experience of my life. Filling out forms with tears coming down my face, my dad so angry, he wouldn’t even sit down, or look at me, and all he wanted to do was hit me in the face. He begged the man to pay for my items, but the man replied it was against company policy.

It was worse than getting my first D on a calc test (the average was a 47 and its a college class in high school so don’t judge). It was worse than finding out my boyfriend cheated on me. It was probably neck and neck with finding out my grandfather died. Actually, my grandfather dying beats that out by a bit. 

I filled out forms, signed a notice saying I know I will get a civil demand for an undisclosed amount, I am not allowed in the mall, and an acknowledgement of what I attempted to steal. I received a court date right then and there. I spent an hour in that small room with my dad who cried for the third time I had ever seen him cry.

It was hell.

Let me tell you. JCP has HD cameras that can zoom in and out. JCP has an attending LP always, sometimes more than one on duty. JCP doesn’t tag somethings like bags, jewelery, and makeup because they will ALWAYS catch you taking it. At least at the one I was at.

If you want me to go into more details, I can. I remember everything they told me, everything I asked my dad through my tears, and everything my dad told me.

It felt like a nightmare. 

We left an hour later and my dad cried and asked me why I did it, especially because he asked before we left if I wanted anything. He was disappointed in me. He felt like I broke his trust. Not only did I try to steal, but I was with him. A man who would give me whatever I wanted, as long as I asked.

We picked up my brother from his internship in college, and he asked what was wrong. I was required to tell him what happened through my tears, and he called me stupid and said why would I shoplift. I told him you answered it, because I’m stupid. My brother asked basic questions like if I was arrested, but didn’t press too hard. My brother hasn’t always been the best brother, but he has always been a good child. I’ve been a pretty good sister, but not the best child. I do dumb things. He knows that, and he is all for punishing me for it. He only wants the best for me though. I love my brother, but he knew I was in deep trouble for my stupidity.

I texted my boyfriend right when I got in the room that I was getting in trouble for shoplifting and did not text him until I got home. When I got home, my dad and I did not talk.

I called my boyfriend on the phone, told him what happened, cried for a while, then went on my laptop and did as much research as I could. I asked questions on forum sites, I called lawyers left and right. I looked at what I could expect.

I am and was a 4.4 GPA student involved with Student Council, NHS, and volleyball. I didn’t have a spot on my student record, and before this, not one single speck on my criminal/arrest/juvenile record. The worst grade I had ever received on my transcript was a B, combined with a Satisfactory citizenship and the grade for that semester was a 3.4 unweighted, with a weighted average of 3.8. Like I said, I was not and am not a bad student. I want to be a doctor and I am taking medical advanced classes for my school’s accelerated program and am interning at a medical center.

Me being a good student doesn’t mean jack shit however. Being a good student doesn’t mean that I didn’t do what I did, nor does it lessen or put the blame off on anyone else. I still made the same stupid and shitty decision.

I got caught. I am not immortal. No one is. I got caught.

Fic Recommendations

Hello everybody! I’m assuming y’all are on Christmas break, and so am I! I’ve been reading a lot too much lately and I’ve stumbled over some REALLY GOOD FICS LIKE WHAT THE HELL THESE DESERVE PRAISE

Oh and thanks to @fruitysmellz for mentioning me in her post. YOU ROCK!


Some are AU, some are not, WHATEVER. Read them anyway.

  1. Pumpkins and Anthropology by maravelous

Pairings: ShikaTema and NejiTen (AU) 

Summary:  “I think humans are more beautiful than any story or picture ever made." 

Notes: maravelous’ prose is something you are gonna want to read. The fic is endearing, and whimsical, and oh—so—natural when you read it. It isn’t like all the other AU high school fics you read. This one actually has PURPOSE. (Also maravelous is my writing idol I love her)

     2. Four Conversations on the Subject of Flight by wildcatt

Pairings: NejiTen (Narutoverse)

Summary:  Flying is not as perfect as you imagine it to be, you know. Flying is just falling up.

Notes: pretty angsty. And beautiful. Something you can read for a good cry.

   3. a memory stick full of myspace friends by Straw8erries

Pairings: Nejiten (AU)

Summary:  fake facebook dating: it’s really cute, she swears

Notes: It’s a cute little thing. The romance is subtle, but not too subtle. May require more mature audiences though.

   4. borealis by hyperphonic

Pairings: NejiTen (Narutoverse)

Summary:  Beside him, Tenten runs her fingers over the foible of her katana, true edge facing the door. "They want your eyes.” It is not a question.

Notes: It’s a pretty fic. Breathtaking. Like the aurora.

   5. Goldilocks by a Different Name by Aquarius Galuxy

Pairings: NejiTen (Narutoverse)

Summary:  Tenten discovers that someone has been living in her apartment when she goes away on long missions.

Notes: Aquarius Galuxy is like the senpai of all teenager fics. While maravelous may be my idol, Aquarius Galuxy is a definite fav. Read her fics guys.

(Warning: Her fics may require more mature audiences. I speak for myself as well)


Some fics that exceed the “can be read in less than an hour” time limit. They’re still awesome though.

   1. like paper dolls and little notes by Seynee

Pairings: NejiTen (AU)

Summary:  It’s not that Tenten hates flying. In fact, she kind of likes it. Especially when she gets free cocktails. Especially when she’s sitting next to a handsome stranger. Especially when she gets to talk to him. This is going to be good.

Notes: Alright, I admit that I have been trying to read this fic for a long time. This is actually my first NejiTen fic, and I have attempted to read this more than three times. Good thing there’s no school on Sunday. The ending is EPIC.

(Warning: Fic is too good to be read. But read it anyway)

   2. Along the Way by MasterAverage

Pairings: NejiTen and some others (AU)

Summary:  It all started when Naruto refused to give Neji his house key back until he finally kissed a girl. 

Notes: Now HERE is your typical High School AU fic. But it’s still a must read. It’s fun, but there are some parts that are serious. Like a salad.

   3. Scars and Stitches by pusa.is.me

Pairings: NejiTen and some LeeTen to boot (Narutoverse)

Summary:  A love triangle of Gai-stronomic proportions.

Notes: Holy shit. This fic is like, the most beautiful Naruto fic I have ever read. Sure there is LeeTen, but fear not, NejiTen fans. This will make you cry. And laugh. And feel like a proud Papa Gai.


   4. Manager and Other Side Jobs by Scintazzle

Pairings: NejiTen. There is some NejiSaku but let us not go to those dark times…(AU)

Summary:  Accepting the shady job offer wasn’t really one of her best choices…but discovering she threw up on her future boss was even worse. 

Notes: This was an amazing fic. A breather, but can clench your lungs as well. Based on being a celebrity and what the showbiz is actually like.

(Warning: Sakura may grate on your nerves for a while after reading this fic)

   5. Unexpected Hero by notesonlife

Pairings: NejiTen and some others

Summary:  Being a ‘dorm mother’, or slave in hell, to five elite shinobi is not an easy task, especially for Tenten.

Notes: Pretty serious~~~


Hey, not only NejiTen fics come with great authors. Here are some amazing Naruto fics you’re gonna wanna see.

   1. Songs for a Dancer by pusa.is.me

Pairings: ShikaTen, NejiTen (Narutoverse)

Summary: He was a genius, and he could predict two hundred different outcomes to a single scenario, and every outcome he could think of leads to only one thing—his heart getting broken.

Notes: Alright, I am a dedicated NejiTen fan. But this fic, my friends, is the definition of AMAZING. Even though it’s ShikaTen, one-sided love can only go so far. It gives a clear and in-depth POV about NejiTen by our one and only genius. 

   2. Eraser dusts by Wintry Leen

Pairings: SaiIno (AU)

Summary: He says I love you through his sketches.

Notes: I admit Sai is actually one of my favorite characters. Shoot me. But before that, read this first, and I swear even the most dedicated ShikaIno fans will find this endearing.

   3. Fifty Nine Moves by Oh Dee

Pairings: ShikaTema (Narutoverse)

Summary: It only took fifty nine moves for checkmate.

Notes: What can I say? I love ShikaTema. It’s well-written, thoughts of characters are on-point, and it’s overall a nice read. Perfect for lattes in late afternoon.

   4. What Remains Unmentioned by Dayadhvam

Pairings: NOTHING. Kakashi/Gai bromance. (Narutoverse)

Summary:  Kakashi keeps accepting Gai’s challenges because he likes to pretend that they still make a difference in the tally of their Eternal Rivalry. Because, really, he knows that he’s already lost. Gai is too kind to bring up the worst challenge of them all.

Notes: Prettay Angsty too D:

   5. Coffee Table Talk by firefly

Pairings: NOTHING. But Temari/Hidan interaction is actually quite funny. (Narutoverse)

Summary:  Meet Hidan, the religious fanatic. Meet Temari of the Sand, the no nonsense sister of Kankuro and Gaara. Watch what happens when they both happen to run into each other.

Notes: This is possibly the funniest thing I have ever read. Kudos to “what the fuck, guys, I send you a messenger and y’all just ignore him.” Comedy gold.

   6. Ink by xiaoyings

Pairings: SaiIno. (Narutoverse)

Summary: It’s his turn to catch her.

Notes: I’ve fallen in love with SaiIno. This fic is beautiful—leads you all the way from first encounters to marriage to old age, and overall, this fic was just one heck of a ride. Don’t blame me for cutting onions under your bed. It’s gonna make you cry.


Hey, it’s a pretty small world. There are people here too.

@misspandalily IS MY SAVIOR AND ALSO HAS FANFICTION. You can find her in fanfiction.net as misspandalily. She also has this fic called Immortal Love that is still in the making, and I lurv it.

@tabine is also working on a fic on fanfiction.net , also here on tumblr and in AO3. They’re working on this fic called The Secret Life of Teachers. Fun stuff.

@giada-luna also has ff.net and her fics are AMAZING. Go check her out sometime, I heard they’re really good.


If you need more fics, go check out my favorites in my fanfiction.net account aka. twinquies . ALL THOSE FICS ARE WORTHWHILE

I’ve also probably read 99.999% of all existing NejiTen fics, and yes—I have pretty high standards. I know y’all probably know NessieGG and Goldberry, and that’s why I haven’t added them here—there are other nice fics too. 


My Shippings: Dramione

So I’m so tired of peoples bullshit, questioning my beliefs in my ships. I mean the amount of questions I have got, about how I ship Dramione, Harmony, Tomione and or Jamione. These are the ships I get questioned about the most so I have come to tumblr to express my feelings. Twitter comments are really getting to me.


1. Emma Watson and Tom Felton are the hottest creatures to ever grace our planet.

That should be the only reason I need because can you imagine them cuddling beside the Black Lake, or laughing together in the Great Hall? Because I can. 

2. So whatever, they ‘hate’ each other. He called her a Mudblood what about it. He was raised that way. How was he supposed to know any different?

And may I just point out that Ron is the one who sneered at Malfoy first on the train. If you were 11 and trying to introduce yourself to someone who was considered a celebrity and then someone sneered when you said your name, I think you’d bite back too. Then, Draco obviously not liking Ron tried to make friends with Harry when Harry was the one who shot him down.

Obviously, Draco going home to his father telling him all about the ’great and annoying Potter’. If I was Draco I’d be pretty angry too!

Back to Dramione, he obviously hated the fact that she was a muggle-born yet getting better grades than him. Lucius obviously beat him for losing to a 'Mudblood’.

I definitely think his hate was for his father and pureblood traditions and prejudices. He hated that fact that his blood said he needed to be better than her. He hated that her blood meant she had to been weaker and lesser in all aspects of life than him. Yeah sure sometimes he got angry and took it out on her but I’m sure he regretted it.

3. They have so much in common yet are total opposites. She’s a Gryffindor, he’s in Slytherin, he’s a pureblood she’s a muggleborn. Yet both of them are exceptionally smart, and have a certain class about them. I kinda feel bad saying this but I mean, Hermione isn’t hilarious and I feel she would very much appreciate Draco’s sarcastic, dry humour as I feel that’s more her style.

4. The sexual tension. Can you imagine Romione doing it? It would be all cute and awkward and disgusting. Dramione doing it? They would do it everywhere…I can see them sneaking off down corridors and then of course they would be parried with each other for nightly patrols and they would make a list of all the teacher’s desk they had done it on.  Their sex life would be explosive and hot and amazing…..if you’ve ever read a Dramione fan fiction you know what I’m talking about.

5. Can you imagine the bromance between Draco and Harry. And may I just say, it would be pretty fucking amazing. They’d call each other by their surnames but it would be all in good fun and they’d fight over quidditch and their kids. Both of their sons would be forced to be seekers and wow I’m going to go write a fan fiction now.

6. Thie I feel is the most important point. Every single relationship in the trio’s era, was safe. Ron and Hermione= Safe. Harry and Ginny= Safe. There was no relationships that we knew of between any Gryffindor and Slytherin. In the Marauder’s era we had Severus and Lily and even at that it wasn’t anything major but an unrequited love.

For me, like I said, it was all played safe. Can you imagine how interesting and more exciting it would have been had there been a Gryffindor and Slytherin dating either before of after the war?

Dramione would have been Romeo and Juliet; a revised edition. A forbidden yet romantic love that would have gone down in history.

Harry shipped it. Well he definitely didn’t ship Romione anyway :D

7. If Dramione happened, Draco would have slightly redeemed himself after the war.  Hermione is the only one that would have been kind enough to forgive him at first then everyone else would and BOOM Dramione!

8.Points in which Dramione totally should have happened….

1st Year-The train, Hermione would have been looking for Trevor and went into his compartment. Not a great example but I mean they are 11 so they just would have been friends if anything.

2nd Year-Uneventful in the Dramione spectrum. He totally could have dropped into the hospital wing to check on her when she was petrified though because I imagine when he wished death upon her he didn’t actually mean it and then he must have felt bad for her.

3rd Year- Ah the year it all began. Why was Hermione so worried about Draco when he got hit by Buckbeak and she was always gone. I know she had a time-turner but she could have used it for more than classes…if you know what I’m saying ;)

4th Year- Yule Ball year whoop! I mean they couldn’t do anything because everyone was there but I imaging he had a nice long look at Hermione that night, all anyone could talk about that night was how beautiful she was.

5th Year-Pretty uneventful once again but I’m sure Draco goes to the library some nights too.

6th Year- Wow sixth year. This is where shit got real. I mean, Hermione needed a place to cry over the idiot that is Ron. I recon she would have checked out the Room of Requirements. Draco would have been there, they would have both been really upset and stuff. They could have leaned on each other you know?

7th Year- Ok camping, and Malfoy Manor. The pain Draco went through having to listen to her screams. He never turned them in. Oh gosh the feels!

I hope I helped a few people realise why people I ship Dramione because I think a lot of people just think it’s because they’s look good together. I mean they do, but Dramione has depth.

Rant Over!

anonymous asked:

Sam, I'm moving twice this summer and I'm a messy person with excessive piles of STUFF. How did your organize/manage your packing for the Big Move?

Oh man Anon, you have my sympathy. Moving twice in a summer is no way to live, I’m sorry you had to do that. Between the ages of eighteen and twenty-eight I moved at least once a year, every year, and it sucked.

The system I developed is crude and probably not the most organised, but there is sometimes a difference between organised and effective

So here are a few tips, not all of which may be useful for you but here we go.

Keep reading

Hellofëanor’s Long-ass Con Guide

Every year I see a lot of “con guides” floating around the internet, linked on tumblr and facebook.  But for the most part I find these guides are full of really basic, common sense advice that could honestly apply to any big gathering, not just conventions.  Drink water!  Eat food!  Get lots of sleep!  ~*uwu*~ And yeah, you should probably make an effort to do those things, but any con veteran knows that the average young person with no health issues can easily survive a weekend on four hours of sleep per night, consuming nothing but candy and coffee (with maybe the occasional pizza slice thrown in for variety).

So with that in mind, here are my con recommendations with comments on the usual advice you get.  Bear in mind that this advice is probably not GOOD advice in any way, but I’m not your mom and my purpose here isn’t to tell you what you ideally SHOULD do.  I’m telling you what you’ll probably end up doing after all your best intentions slide down the toilet and the con sucks you into its gaping maw of chaos and hedonism.

“GET LOTS OF SLEEP!”  Eh, aim for six hours of sleep per night.  Depending on the con and your party schedule, sometimes this is not possible, but it’s a good goal.  Go to bed when the party dies down and get up when you need to start putting on your makeup for that day’s giant stupid costume.  If you’re tired and it’s interfering with your awesomeness, try to fit in a nap.  IMPORTANT: if you’re driving home after the last day of con, especially if it’s a long drive, you absolutely will want to get a solid night’s sleep before you go. Your safety depends on it.  If you’re flying out/taking the bus/getting a ride, go ahead and stay up all night partying, but driving?  Sleep is actually vital to your health and well being. Make good choices.

Keep reading

consideringhobbits  asked:

Three line fic: stuck in a tree

The tune that suddenly filled the kitchen jogged Bard from his intense concentration (because yes, cupcake making required such a thing).

He looked down at his ringing phone that was buzzing away on the counter and raised an eyebrow as he put the bowl of cupcake dough aside. The ID read annoying husband above a lovely picture of a smiling Thranduil. This made absolutely no sense, for his lover had left the kitchen merely ten minutes ago, and hadn’t planned on going anywhere, as far as Bard knew. He shrugged to himself and picked his phone up.

“Yes, honey?” A smile was playing on his lips; he expected some joke, or being told words of love he would never complain upon hearing over and over again.

Unfortunately, he had absolutely not expected nor ever wanted what followed.

“Don’t get mad, please.” Thranduil answered, his voice sheepish, but also strangely tense.

“What is it,” Bard demanded. “Where are you?” He tried to keep worry out of his voice, but mostly he was suspicious; whatever this was, there was a high chance he would not enjoy it.

“I might need your help. Right now.”

A loud meow accompanied the request, and Bard sighed, running a hand down his face.

“Thran, what have you done with Smaug?”

“I haven’t done anything,” His husband retorted. “Ask him what he’s done!”

“Okay, what is it then?”

There was a few seconds of silence, and Bard guessed his husband was weighing the pros and cons of telling him exactly what this call was about.

“I would greatly appreciate if you could come to the garden with the ladder.” Thranduil finally said.


But he had barely finished speaking when Thranduil hung up, leaving Bard confused and with no other choice than complying.

When he put foot in the garden though, Thranduil was nowhere to be seen. Bard frowned, looked around; it was very much empty, making him reconsider the possibility of a joke. His gaze only went up when he remembered about the ladder he was holding.

What he had even more not expected than that phone call, was to find his husband in their garden’s oak tree.

“Thran, what the hell are you doing!”

“I’m trying to save our idiot cat, that’s what I’m doing!” The blond man gestured further up the tree in an overly dramatic way, sighing as he did so. “But I didn’t think about how to get down with him and anyway, the bastard just went even higher!”

Bard didn’t know whether to cry or laugh.

“You do realize he’s a full grown cat, right?”

“Yes, so what?”

“So he’s perfectly able of coming down by himself.”

Thranduil stared at him for a moment, before his gaze flickered between Smaug and his husband.

“Well, okay, but I can’t!” He finally said (it was pretty much whining actually). “Will you help me, please?”

“I’m really considering leaving you up there until the children come back, to be honest. I’m sure they’d love to take pictures.” Bard inspected his nails as if they were the most interesting thing in the world, knowing he would burst out laughing if he looked at Thranduil’s face for even a second. “To put on Facebook, you know. Or what’s that thing Sigrid likes so much, Tumblr? She says her ‘notes’ exploded with that video she took of you singing and dancing to Staying Alive dressed in your ‘bling bling disco’ outfit.” The brunet grinned at the thought, obviously very proud of himself. “I have like three copies of that thing. Priceless.”

“Bard!” Thranduil exclaimed then, half gaping at his husband who was trying very hard not to laugh at his offended expression.

“What, you’re the one who authorized her to put it online!” Bard chuckled as he put the ladder against the tree. “But yeah, comin’, comin’.”

He quickly made his way up and lifted himself up a branch before he extended a hand to the blond with an amused grin, but instead of taking the hand that was offered to him, Thranduil pointed to Smaug instead.

“Can you go get him first anyway?”

Bard sighed, rolling his eyes at his husband. “Thran, I told you he’s able to—”

“No, he’s too fat!” Thranduil insisted, “His weight will drag him down, he’ll lose balance and he’ll die!”

Bard somehow managed to quell the urge to facepalm, “Okay, okay!”

Just as he caught a grumpy Smaug with one arm and prepared to go back to the branch on which Thranduil was waiting, there was a loud clutter of metal followed by a desperate ‘shit’. Bard was pretty sure he heard ‘he’s going to kill me’ in a much quieter tone, which sent a shiver run down his spine. Oh no.

“Thran, what was that?” Bard asked.

The worst thing was that he was 99% sure what the answer would be.

“Well, the ladder—”

“Oh no you didn’t.”

There was silence as Bard looked down to meet Thranduil’s sheepish gaze.

“Couch it is, I guess?”

You bet it was.

The kids were going to love this.