i was a heart pirate

When you can’t stand the direction the show is going in but can’t stop yourself from caring about it 

anonymous asked:

Do you have pirate recs? I will take anything - fiction, nonfiction, movies, songs, TV shows, I just want to get my pirate on

me: omfgf how the FUCK could this person KNOW that I am I IN MY PIRATE FEELINGS right now?!?!!? wtf?!!! ! !! wtf!!!! 

me five minutes ago: 

  • TREASURE ISLAND by ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON and all variations thereof: 
    • Black Sails, the queer poly pirate dream show of my heart 
    • Muppet Treasure Island, which gave us Shiver My Timbers, #1 pirate banger 
    • Treasure Planet, cartoon Treasure Island IN SPACE
  • PETER PAN (lol, sorry) by J. M. BARRIE and all variations thereof, but especially: 
    • Alias Hook by Lisa Jensen, which is like Peter Pan meets Outlander from James Hook’s POV
    • Peter Darling by Austin Chant, which is queer grown up Peter/Hook
    • Peter Pan (2003) is my favourite straight up adaptation, with lots of Jason Isaacs being the single best and ridiculously sexy Hook EVER
    • Hook (1991), which is and will always be bangarang
  • Sodomy and the Pirate Tradition: English Sea Rovers in the Seventeenth-Century Caribbean by B. R. Burg, if you fancy paying an arm and a leg for what essentially amounts to a copy of someone’s Master’s thesis from the 1980s. (it was pretty good though.) 
  • I should probably recommend Bloody Jack: Being an Account of the Curious Adventures of Mary “Jacky” Faber, Ship’s Boy by L. A. Meyer on behalf of Nicole, because she’s been telling me to read it for actual years at this point.
  • The Abyss Surrounds Us and The Edge of the Abyss by Emily Skrutskie are really cool futuristic Waterworld-esque sea monster lesbian pirate books, and I friggin’ loved ‘em. 
  • I’m definitely going to read Brethren by W. A. Hoffman, a classiqué m/m pirate book, mainly because I read the goodreads reviews and one person was like ‘ugh it’s 100 pages before they even meet each other!’ and another was like ‘ugh it’s basically just every pirate AU ever!’ and IMHO neither of those things belong in the con column. 
  • I’m giving BLACK SAILS its own bullet point as well, because how good this show is… truly cannot be overstated. it’s overwhelmingly queer, contains two (2) canon poly relationships, and is hands down some of the best storytelling I’ve ever seen on tv. the best way I’ve ever seen it described is: ‘black sails episode 1: “money gets my pussy wet” black sails season 4: is intersectional revolution compatible with personal happiness?’ and that’s just… so real. it is absolutely stunning. PIRATES!
  • this arrangement of The Parson’s Farewell by Bear McCreary is from Black Sails – listen to the whole thing with your eyes closed and picture noble pirates rallying against the British Empire for love. you are Welcome. 
  • I know that Johnny Depp makes us all furious now, but the first Pirates of the Caribbean still bangs. if you don’t want to look at him (understandable), then just listen to this. I’ve never wanted to climb a rigging more in my life than I do when I listen to this song. 
  • Gay Pirates by Cosmo Jarvis. beloved.

YES, HELLO ODA, EXCUSE ME.

I’D LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT THEIR PAST HISTORY, PLEASE!!!

  • Peter *fighting during Infinity War*: "Will you marry me?"
  • Gamora: "I don't think now's the best time!"
  • Peter: "Now may be the only time! I love you, I've made my choice! What's yours!"
  • Gamora *kicking some enemy in the face*: "Yondu! Marry us!"
  • Yondu *interrupting his whistling*: "I'm a little busy at the moment!"