Do You Need A Hug?
Note: my 9 month old dog passed away and I needed this… I might end up deleting it, I’m not sure.. .c
“Do you need a hug?”
That question has been asked multiple times today, in light of recent events. You had a friend, a loyal companion, a trustworthy dog that never left your side. She was young and full of life; sadly, it ended much too soon. You tried to cry but you couldn’t, only left with an empty feeling in your chest that you couldn’t shake. You missed hearing her bark and the sight of her wagging tail was etched into your mind for good.
The world felt different-it felt strange and unbalanced; your entire being was thrown off, leaving you with a gaping hole in your chest that only your precious dog could fill. You stayed with her until her last breath, keeping your eyes on hers-whispering to her how much she changed your life during the short time she was here, and how much you love her.
Clint offered you a spot in his backyard; a peaceful place she could rest and you could return to as needed. You declined at first, but came to realize that New York was no place for such a full-of-life dog your precious baby had been. She always loved visiting Clint’s home, after all.
You stood in silence as you watched your friends slide her stiff body in a black bag, their silent tears falling onto the material. Your bottom lip quivered as tears returned into your eyes, but never once fell. They stung, but it was no match for the stinging you felt resonate deep within your bones.
Her death was so sudden and Bruce tried so hard to help her. But it wasn’t how it was supposed to end. You cursed yourself for not doing more to help her, but you simply couldn’t. You were no match for death; it takes everyone. Everyone you’ve ever loved, and everyone you will love in time.
“Do you need a hug?” You heard a soft voice whisper by your side. You slowly turned your head away from the teams disappearing bodies as they left your room to get into the elevator. Wanda looked at you with a look of sorrow and an unsaid apology. You gently shook your head and swallowed dryly. You couldn’t remember the last time you had anything to drink, let alone sleep or food.
“Let me know if you need anything.” She said, running her hand up and down your back, soothing you in any way she thought she could. You nodded to her and she left, leaving you to stand in the middle of your room, alone, your eyes moving back towards the pool of still warm blood on your floor. The others were making their way to the jet and you soon made your way there, joining them.
The black bag was off to the side, your eyes glued to it, hoping to see it move up and down-the sign of life seeping back into your girls body. But nothing happened, no matter how strongly you willed it to. Nothing happened.
“Do you need a hug?” You heard Natasha ask, only just a few minutes after Sam and Steve asked you on separate occasions. You tried to speak, but your mouth only opened for a split second, closing soon after. She took your silence as a ‘no’ and left a lingering kiss on your head. Her body moved towards the middle of the jet, joining the others in hushed whispers.
As you exited the jet, having landed near Clint’s country home, you lingered behind everyone else. You felt drained and you were in no rush to lay your dog to rest in the ground. Your eyes scanned the beauty of Clint’s yard. If she were here right now, her tongue would be flapping in the wind, her paws carrying her across the large yard, happiness radiating from her.
You finally reached the others and they all turned to you, giving you wholehearted smiles. Bruce, Tony, and Sam were digging the hole, the rich red colored dirt being tossed aside into a pile with shovels. The motionless bag lay near the fence, right underneath the tree she always rested under after running herself crazy in the heat of the burning sun.
Laura brought out a tray of cups filled with her homemade lemonade for the team, her eyes landing on you lastly. She gently offered you a cup but you kindly declined with the raise of your hand. Laura nodded and set the tray down, sticking her hands in her back pockets.
“We enjoyed having her here. Especially the kids.” She said with a small smile. The wind blew just a bit, strands of her hair whistling about her face. Her hand raised to move them away and she sighed. “I’m really sorry, Y/N.” Laura whispered, reaching her hand to rub your arm.
You smiled at her and licked your dry lips, turning your eyes back to the almost deep hole. Everyone stood around, nursing their lemonade and thinking about their favorite memories with your dog. They all loved her, and she loved all of them.
Time passed and she was finally buried, a wooden stake with her name carved into it was stuck in the ground near where her head lay beneath. The team slowly spread out, leaving you alone with her. Though one particular person stayed behind, off to the side, wanting to be here for you in case you needed them.
His blue eyes remained on the back of your head, his eyes watering as he heard a sob finally break through your parted mouth. He slowly approached you and he swore he could physically feel his heart break as you fell to your knees, your hands grasping at the green grass.
You cried hard and you didn’t care. You missed your dog and you needed her. Bucky sat beside you on his knees, leaving his hand mere inches from your back. “Y/N…” He whispered softly, not wanting to startle you. All you could do was cry and shake your head, praying she would miraculously come back to life and lick the salty liquid from your cheeks like she had done many times before.
You choked on your sobs and your chest heaved up and down. As you caught your breath and wiped at your cheeks, you took a deep breath. “Bucky?” Your voice cracked as you turned to look at him. His blue eyes were threatening to spill his own tears and he waited for you to speak again.
“I need a hug.” You whimpered out, another strong sob racking through your body. Bucky instantly pulled you into his chest, his large arms holding you tightly against him. Your hands gripped onto him, your knuckles nearly white from the intense pressure. Bucky rocked you back and forth, whispering sweet nothings in your ear as you cried out into his chest.
You lost track of time as the sun began to set and the temperature dropped just a tad. Bucky had his arms wrapped around your waist as you rested your back against his chest, your laughs mingling together as you talked about your sweet dog and the many moments you two shared with her.
“Remember when she got into Sam’s room and took his running shoes?” Bucky asked, a breathy chuckle vibrating against your back. You let out a laugh and threw your head back against Bucky’s shoulder. “He was so mad! He couldn’t run for two days until Steve brought back a brand new pair.” Your laughter died down and you sighed with a small still on your face.
“She was amazing.” Bucky sighed, his arms tightening around you. You nodded in agreement and sniffled. “Thank you, Bucky.” You said softly, turning in his hold to look up at him. He smiled down at you and brought his hand up to wipe at your tear stained cheeks.
“Anytime, Doll. Anytime.”
Note: this helped me, a lot. please, hug your pets and treat them well. .c
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