i was 17 so... no i should have known better haha

anonymous asked:

I know its not my busy but its been driving me nuts for months. I used to look up to you because you and ichi had been together for so long and looked like you had all ur shit together, then i found out later that things had ended. I say looked up because I had been with my husband for a long time like you guys, and I'm always waiting for that point when I'll think to myself that this is forever. Dont get me wrong I am so happy for you and shane, but i am so curious as to what happened.

Haha. It’s okay.

We met when I was 15 and we were together until I was 25. When I met him I was just a child and I really didn’t know what I wanted in a relationship.

I was just fooling myself, almost our whole relationship. There was a two year long stretch I tried so hard to make it work… but my ex was uncommitted to putting in anything to us. He didn’t (and doesn’t) have any ambition to go anywhere in his life, and when dating him I felt more like a mother than a girlfriend. It was honestly the worst. But how was I supposed to know? I hadn’t known it any other way. He was my only boyfriend. I honestly thought, “well I’m his girlfriend, I’m here to support him” thinking what I was doing was my job.

I remember times when I would flee to my blog and say “he’s been sleeping in until 3 and he still doesn’t have a job” and Anons would message me like “yo….. dump his ass” and I’d say “I just want to try a bit harder to make him change.”

But you can’t change people. You can’t make people mature. They can only do that for themselves. And to me, he is still… the 17 year old that I met when I was a teenager.

In before someone close to me reads this, I wasn’t a saint in all this. There was a period of time in our relationship where I was seeing other people. I told my ex about it at the time, and of course he didn’t like it, but he just… let it happen, and I kept going on with it. Of course, the things I did were awful, and I should have known better. But back then, both of us were awful to eachother.

The last two years of our relationship I didn’t see anyone else. I remember near around the end of our relationship I was giving him “by the end of the month” ultimatums….. – in the 10 years we were together, he had never taken me on a date…. so I would say, “please take me on a date by the end of the month, or we’re through”. I did that probably 3 or 4 months.

It’s so stupid when I think back to it. I did some awful things to him, but I can’t believe what I endured, either. We were awful to each other.

My new relationship is …….. I don’t want to say it’s perfect but it’s really wonderful. We do things for eachother. We compliment eachother every day. Shane is very driven is get a good education and a good job. We like doing things together, and he really appreciates the things I do for him. And he likes my cooking! My ex would only say a simple “thanks” whenever I made him something lol.

I’m really happy. At age 26 I finally fell in love. I loved my ex, but I don’t think I was truly in love with him.

So hmmm. I don’t know. Things are not what they seem, especially when people seem they have it all together, or its too good to be true…. I tried so hard in that relationship, but in the back of my mind always, there’d be a voice saying “this is fake this is fake this is fake ”…. but just keep up the facade a little longer, because you are in too deep to ever leave now.

The longer you wait, the harder it is to leave. Hell. I bought a house with this man. It has been *rough*. I’ve been living with my ex for almost a year and a half now, and it has been *ROUGH*.

This is a lot a lot a lot of personal information, and years down the road I might say “maybe I shouldn’t have done that…” but for now, I’m over it. I hope that clears some things up. Ha ha.

Things I have learned from Fifty Shades Darker (part 2/?)

1. Christian and Ana have gone out to eat. He ordered food for her, because Ana cannot apparently function as an adult. HURR DURR I AM CHRISTIAN GREY AND I MUST EXERCISE CONTROL.
2. Ana made Christian jealous and because awww, his feelings got hurt, he’s now calling her a child and belittling her. Fuck you, Christian. OH OH! And he’s making HER feel guilty for hurting poor Jose’s feelings (again, you know, that Jose who stuck his tongue down her throat) and having no regard for them. Fuck you, Christian.
3. Petition to rename this series Fifty Shades of Ways to say “Fuck you, Christian”.
4. “My inner goddess rises sleepily, stretches and smiles. She’s been asleep for a while”. Anyone here with a prescription for super effective sleeping pills? I’ll take a hundred.
5. Christian to Ana: “You are what I want you to be” AHAHAHAHA. FUCK YOU, CHRISTIAN.
6. Oh. Oooooooh. He is asking her how he can trust her when she didn’t use the safe word when he beat her, in a situation that frightened her and overwhelmed her to the point of literally forgetting there was a safe word. Christian is a HUGE dick to Ana. 
7. And now SHE is apologizing to HIM. This is unbelievable. If this isn’t emotional manipulation, then I’m a duck.
8. Petition to ban the following words and phrases: oh my, jeez, crap, holy crap, holy shit, whoa, holy cow, holy hell. The list, as of this moment, remains open.
9. “I will take you across my knee.” - Whenever I feel sad about the fact that either there’s no more chocolate left in the house or my favourite fictional character has met an untimely demise, I think about this sentence and everything seems a little brighter in the world.
10. Ana has now taken a liking to calling Christian Fifty. FIFTY. I bet the author thinks she’s oh so clever. Plot twist: she’s really really not.
11. Hair can apparently “fall deliciously” over someone’s forehead.
12. They’re “redefining the terms of the relationship” and Christian is making compromises, so points for him, but for the life of me, after a book and 3 chapters, I cannot connect with these characters. They have no personality, no draw, nothing compelling about them. So I just have a permanent facepalm as I’m reading.
13. “The physical pain you inflicted was not as bad as the pain of losing you”. Haha, sure Ana, keep telling yourself that. Also, this is not romantic in any way, shape or form. 
14. And still, she thinks SHE is the undeserving one. This is a setback for female characters everywhere.
15. Oh boy, they made up. Sound the fanfare. Pop the champagne. This effectively negates ALL THE DRAMA in the end of the first book and the beginning of this one. Think about it. Also, of course they made up, was there seriously any doubt about this???
16. “Laters baby”. Ugh. Shoot me now.
17. “Holy shit… an Ipad”. It’s like she discovered the last known world wonder. AN IPAD. PRAISE THE HEAVENS. A FUCKING IPAD. She gets a car from him, but she loses her shit over an Ipad. Okay.
18. Seriously, it’s like the beating and the drama and the abuse never happened. This is frightening to read.
19. There’s a holy something in every paragraph. Someone fire whoever edited this book.
20. She’s still calling him Fifty. I should make my peace with this and add it to the open list of words and phrases I never want to hear again. Ever. 
21. These people still do not know how to properly use an e-mail. Nobody writes e-mails like they do. N-O-B-O-D-Y.
22. Oh, here’s the new “plot”: a mysterious woman approaches Ana, seemingly knowing shit about her (like her name), and being all mysterious.
23. Calling it now: she’s one of Christian’s old…um…”girlfriends” and she’s jealous. She’ll probably be holding a gun in the vicinity/aimed at either Ana or Christian at one point or another.
24. Yes, I think this author is this “creative”.
25. Ana likes to give stupid nicknames to people. After naming Christian Fifty, mysterious lady friend is Ghost Girl - here to fight crime and punish current girlfriends of the man who dumped her. TO THE RESCUE!
26. “Jack, who is mentally assessing the fine specimen of manhood in front of him”. Excuse me while I throw up in a bucket. There’s bad writing, then there’s that.
27. “I’m the boyfriend”/”I’m the boss”. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight’s “I Have A Bigger Dick Than You Fight Me”. In one corner, we have the slimy, sleazeball boss, Jack. In the other, we have the abusive, manipulative boyfriend, Christian. Why this fight is even happening, I have no idea. Ana, just run off into the sunset with Ghost Girl. Go fight crime together and make out. You’d be better off. 
28. “Panty-combusting look”. Read that again. No, really, take a second and read that again. Panty. Combusting. Look.
29. Hahahaha, Christian is lecturing Ana on sexual harassment. Excuse me while I laugh my ass off in a puddle of tears.
30. And then, theeeeen he tells her he just bought THE ENTIRE COMPANY she works at in order to “keep her safe”. How are you people defending this. 
31. “Why does he have this need to keep me safe” - let me help you with that, Ana: “why does he have this need to keep me safe control me”. There we go, much better.
32. Ana and her inner goddess come up with a plan to lure Christian into bed. Lord, help me.
33. Cooking foreplay. Okay then.
34. Yup, the sex scenes are just as cringe worthy as the last book. And you know what? They wouldn’t be so bad, but with all the jeez and holy craps, it’s like very very badly written fan fiction. I have ready smutty fan fiction about 100 times better than this.
35. “he springs free”. You all know what she’s referring to, but I just imagined Christian springing off a trampoline, with a cape tied around his neck, yelling “Dobby is freeeeee”. I am so sorry.
36. Well that was… *takes coat and closes door on her way out*.
37. I’m only 54 pages in. Pray for me.

Part 1

Things I have learned from Fifty Shades of Grey masterpost

“I can only see you.”

paring; taehyung x reader

genre; angst (mostly) / fluff

this was written by luvleetroubles, she gave me permisson to post this. any comments or messages about this fanfic, please message her.  ((she won’t update until she does get some comments)) thank you!

You were happy. Genuinely. Intensely. Happy.  It was finally summer and you were going to spend it with the person you loved most. Your best friend, Kim Taehyung.Taehyung was your anchor. He was the person that was there for you through all your hardships. He let you cry in his embrace for hours on end when your parents died and when you couldn’t bare the pain of the day he always had this way of making you forget about everything. In his arms was where you felt the safest. If any girl were to have him she would be the luckiest person in the world but you were just as lucky to have him by your side. You wanted to tell him. Tell him that you loved him, but insecurities got to you. He deserves someone so much better. Someone bright and beautiful that didn’t burden him with their baggage. Someone who could offer the world to him. Someone that wasn’t me.

   Mornings were your favorite time of the day. The way the air smelled of wet grass and how it was always so quiet soothed you. As you sat on the park bench you thought about a lot of things. What college am I going to go to? What department am I going to major in? Where am I going to be in the next ten years? Thoughts like these scared you and as much as you wanted to just crawl in a hole and never come out you knew you couldn’t. Burying your head into the palms of your hands you let out a big sigh. You stayed in this position for a while until suddenly you felt a light tap on the top of your head. The beating of your heart abruptly stopped for a moment.

    Kim Taehyung.

    He was beautiful. You swear in your 17 years of living you’ve never seen a person smile so bright like that as if all was right in the world.His big brown eyes looked into yours as if you mattered and for once all your problems seemed like mere dreams. How are you able to do this to me Taehyung?  Quickly, you snapped back to reality when you realized he was talking to you.

   “Yah, Y/N-ah lets go get some breakfast, I’m starving.” He whined, stomping his feet.

   You giggled at his childish demeanor as he grabbed you by your hands and the both of you ran to the the little coffee shop around the corner.Taehyung noticed that you were shivering so he wrapped you in his arms. You stood there in his embrace not knowing what to do. It felt safe to be there at that time and place. The place where you were happy. Where you felt loved. The two of you stood there for a while, both of your heartbeats on top of the others. You blushed at this thought and buried your face into the inside of his coat. Taehyung chuckled at this cute gesture.

He walked into the cafe with you still buried inside of his coat and sat the both of you down to a table.

         "Hey Y/N, what do you want?“

       You didn’t say anything because he knew what you wanted. Taehyung always asked questions he already knew the answer to.

       "What would you like to have today sir? the waiter said.

       "Umm… two lemon bars would be fine, thank you.”

        After gobbling down your lemon bar Taehyung was staring at you. He still hadn’t eaten his.

      “Are you still hungry?” he said, sliding the plate over to you. Hesitating, you timidly took the bar and scarfed it down. Taehyung laughed at you with admiration as he saw you with your face stuffed like that of a chipmunk. He suddenly cupped your chubby cheeks into his warm hands.

       "Eat well. I have something important to tell you Y/N,“ Taehyung said as he looked straight into your eyes with utter sincerity.

       Taehyung took you to the park that you guys played at as kids. He sat you down on one of the rusty, blue swings and pushed you back and fourth.

      "Hey Y/N, remember when I told you I auditioned for BigHit?”

      “Yes of course, how could I forget? You never stopped talking about it haha.”

      “Well I got in Y/N. I really got–.”

      “Oh my god Tae you did it! You’re finally going to live your dream! What are we doing here? We should be celebrating right now. Ice cream on me!!”

      You were so proud of Tae. While you were still sorting your life out, his was about to start. You were practically dancing on air when Taehyung grabbed your arm. He looked at you with such seriousness. A face of his that you’ve never seen before in all the years of knowing him. His glossy eyes looked straight into yours.

       " Y/N-ah… I have to go to Seoul. My flight leaves in an hour. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner it’s just that the news was so sudden.“

       Everything went blank.If this how it felt to be ripped apart from everything you’ve ever known this was it. Kim Taehyung was all you’ve ever known. Why do they always leave? Did I do something wrong in my life to deserve this? For once in your life you wanted to be selfish. You wanted to tell him to stay but you had to let him go. This was the only way he could do what he loved. You put on a new face and smiled through the pain, something you have mastered by now.

       "Really?? That’s great Tae, I’m so happy for you! Wow, you really will have a lot of fun.Seoul of all places!”

       Taehyung glared at you with a puzzled look,tears forming in his eyes. Don’t look at me like that. You’re making this harder for me.

       "You aren’t sad or angry at me?“ His voice croaked.

       "No! Why would I be? You’re finally getting to live your dream.Don’t let anyone stop you from doing what you love, okay? Promise me you’ll be safe and please don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

       You were struggling to hold your tears back but you had to stay strong. Taehyung pulled you by your shoulders.

       "Call me, okay? Promise to tell me how you’re doing and always reply to my texts alright!“ He said shaking you back and fourth. I promise,Taehyung.

        "I have to go know okay? My flight leaves in an hour. I’m gonna catch a taxi.”

         As you nodded you put your head down. You dare not look into his eyes because if you did you really would lose it. Taehyung frowned at your shyness. He always said a person like me should be confident. Taehyung suddenly cupped my face into his warm hands. He tucked a stray hair behind your ear. Then he took off your glasses that had been fogged up and wiped the lenses with the inside of his sleeve.

       "Stop trying to mask your beauty. It’s burdensome.“

With those words, he ran to hail a taxi. It  stopped and in he went. As the door closed your knees sunk to the ground and in that moment you felt that you could really die. All your feelings that you kept locked away were being felt at that moment. The feelings of loving of him. The happiness, the sorrow. The feelings of hating yourself for not telling him. It hurt to feel and it hurt to breathe.

You let yourself cry. After all I’ve been through how could I still have tears left? If this is what you had to endure for Taehyung to be happy that’s all you could ever ask for.

         No matter where you are and no matter who you’re with I will always truly, completely love you. I thought being in love was supposed to make your heart flutter but why am I like this? Why does my heart hurt this much?

SCM: The Royal Red Myth Ch. 17

Pairing: King X MC
Romance, comedy, drama
MC’s Name:
Word Count:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [9 Bonus] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19 Deleted] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23 Forbidden Ending]

Tagging: @yamyyams, @smile-smile-ichthys, @icedragonsprincess, @mafiaprincesskiss, @mycrzyobsessions, @the-spacebetween-us, @alleykatgotgames, @01paige01, @xcoticallyxquizit, @weburythesunlight22, @ninja-shinigami, @lephrasia, @feelme-mylove, @pinkkbeblackk, @sarahjanesteaparty, @sure21, @loverofotome, @ai-gonorus, @smallotomeworld, @daisytheduckdolphin, @dui-gemini-scm, @66521, @royal-country-rebel

Sorry I’m not able to update much lately! I’m super busy!! And I keep getting writer’s block too, which doesn’t help DX Anyway, this chapter is short, but I figure any update is better than none, right? :)


Hope you enjoy~


Keep reading

Things I have learned from Fifty Shades of Grey (part 6/?)

1. This is no longer funny, it’s depressing and it’s annoying the hell out of me. So fair warning that the posts may suffer.

2. What I want for Christmas this year is either a) this book not to have ever been published; b) the Ghost of Christmas past to erase the past week or so from my memory; c) this book not to have ever been published; d) all of the above. Santa, I promise I’ve been good (I almost wrote “a good girl”, but then I remembered and shuddered).

3. “He paces toward me like a panther” - totally visualized this and ended up spitting my coffee. This book has now cost me precious coffee moments.

4. Oy with the “down there” already! (someone please pick up on this reference)

5. Of course Christian is a great dancer. He’s like the perfect man, you know, if you ignore the abusive, manipulative, slightly deranged side of hid. Other than that, A+, top notch.

6. Christian has stolen her panties and she won’t ask for them back. But now she won’t stop monologuing about it and I want to bash my head against several walls.

7. Also, she talks to herself so much. Nobody can hold a conversation with someone and at the same time think about so many other things. Nope. No way.

8. “I rub my wrists reflexively - thin strips of plastic will do that to a girl”. Ya don’t say? The Darwin Award goes to you, Ana. Magnificent revelation *slow clap*.

9. Ana realizes she wants to be with Christian. Whoop-dee-fucking-do. Collective swoon from the fans of the novel. *sigh* *siiiiiiiiigh*.

10. Mia (Christian’s sister) is the embodiment of Alice Cullen. I bet she’s going to ask Bella Ana to be like sisters, oh em gee!

11. “What is this? Hug Ana week?” Well, Ana, since your…um…significant other likes to beat and “play” with you, I think you deserve a few hugs. Just my two cents.

12. Ana asks herself why Kate is “so antagonistic towards him? What is her problem?” - Kate, as opposed to other people *hint hint wink wink*, can read Christian very well, Ana. Listen to Kate. Share her wisdom. LISTEN TO KATE’S INNER GODDESS.

13. Oh, and now Ana has to run everything by Christian, like a little kid asking for permission, including the fact that she wants to see her mother. Fuck you, Christian. And he has the nerve to be angry about it. Christian is a dick to Ana.

14. “His tone is quiet and deadly” - Run, Ana, run. I hear anywhere else in the world is beautiful this time of year.

15. “Please don’t hit me, I whisper, pleadingly”. Now this, my darlings, is fifty shades of fucked-up. I want to tear this book to pieces and scatter them into the wind. Oh, I want to bury this like Jumanji.

16. Saying no to Christian makes him hot and heavy. This character is more deplorable with every page. He’s currently on top of my most disliked characters ever list. And this is coming from someone who hates Dolores Umbridge with a passion.

17. “This is mine. All mine. Do you understand?” I wish you guys could see the look on my face, which is a mixture of disgusted and what the everloving fuck.

18. “Be careful, Ana, he’s so controlling” Kate is the voice of reason and Ana is frankly too damn stupid to understand.

19. “I think I love you”. Shoot me, shoot me now.

20. I changed my mind. Ana’s inner goddess is not on top of my mist disliked characters list. #noregrets

21. Apparently, being adorable for 10% of the time completely makes up for being an ass for the rest 90%. Ana’s logic is astounding.

22. Welcome to another episode of “Christian’s Kinky Ways and how Ana never says no and is turned on by everything this man does”. We hope you enjoy yourselves. *throws self off cliff*

23. Well that was uncomfortable to read.

24. They had a deal that he can spank her if he told her something about himself. After some truly cringeworthy paragraphs that I wish to scrape from my memory with a scalpel, we now know that Christian’s mom was a crack-whore and that she died. That is all. Underwhelming, really. I expected more.

25. If Ana asks herself “what does this mean” one more time, I will pay a writer to write a sequel to this god awful novel and make me a character in it so that I can murder her. And her inner goddess. Any takers?

26. One minute she says she’ll sign the contract, the other that she won’t. Also known as: creating unnecessary tension for lack of a better plot. Swell.

27. Who the hell cleans in a pencil skirt? I mean really. Come on.

28. Oh look, the “let’s have sex on a desj and push everything out of the way” cliche. Typical. I should have seen this coming. I’m actually disappointed in myself. 

29. This man carries condoms with him everywhere. I shit you not. He’s like a condom vending machine. The Condom Genie. The Wish-A-Condom Foundation.

30. Ana just called him Mr. Boy Scout. Collective groan from me. Yes. Collective. There were several.

31. This is the weirdest post-sexy times conversation ever. Also, oh look, lack of communication as a plot device. Shocking.

32. Please. Make. The. Writer. Stop. Using. Last. Names. Every. Damn. Second. Kthxbye.

33. These people exchange e-mails and have not heard of the Reply button. every e-mail has a different title. Because, haha, look at me, I’m smart and witty. *deep breath*

34. I am officially renaming this book Fifty Shades of Awful Literature.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5

27 likes, 9 comments

Bringing back the ages old trend except now Kurt and Blaine have a son who made the mistake of accepting their friend requests. 

Filling the prompts who asked for more Tracy :)

Tracy Anderson-Hummel feeling annoyed
When you walk through the front door with your friends and your parents are dancing to some song from the 2010. -.-

15 likes, 11 comments

Shawn Fuller LOL it was epic your parents are the best!
Anna Jackson
Yeah come on, they were adorable. I wish my marriage will be like that.
Kurt Anderson-Hummel
There, you see? Your friends can appreciate good entertainment.
Patricia Lopez-Pierce Hey at least that’s better than walking in on them having sex *personal experience*
Tracy Anderson-Hummel Well thanks for bringing back that memory…
Patricia Lopez-Pierce OMG really??
Tracy Anderson-Hummel There should be a law against being intimate in the family room.
Patricia Lopez-Pierce In the family room? ON THE COUCH?? WE’VE WATCHED MOVIES ON THAT COUCH!! WE have MADE OUT ON THAT COUCH!!
Blaine Anderson-Hummel You’ve done what on the couch?
Tracy Anderson-Hummel I’ll burn the couch.

Keep reading

The Front Bottoms Lyric Starters
  • 1: "I'm probably going to leave real soon, just wanted to let you know before I say Au Revoir"
  • 2: "I got so stoned, I fell asleep in the front seat."
  • 3: "It's a shame the bad habits are the hardest ones to break"
  • 4: "I want to contribute to the chaos, I don't want to watch and then complain"
  • 5: "You are the reason I'm smiling when there's nothing to smile about"
  • 6: "I wanna be stronger than your dad was for your mom"
  • 7: "You were too good, I should have known you were a prize my hands could never hold"
  • 8: "Honey, y'gotta learn that love is simple just like mud. If you play the dirt, then I'll play the water. All we gotta do is touch"
  • 9: "You are still the only thing and everything I need in my life"
  • 10: "I try to write you poems, but the words they don't make sense"
  • 11: "There is very little left of me and it's never coming back"
  • 12: "Would you kick me in the face please? It'll make whatever I say sound like poetry."
  • 13: "We keep saying we're unhappy and they keep saying that we're fine"
  • 14: "I know what he's saying couldn't have been that funny but you seem to be laughing quite loud"
  • 15: "Dear policeman, you can call me god"
  • 16: "I shouldn't feel like I have to protect you"
  • 17: "I don't think that anybody else could feel this way"
  • 18: "There is a map in my room on the wall of my room and I’ve got big big plans."
  • 19: "What about your friends don’t you love them enough to stay?"
  • 20: "If you need a little sunshine, you can borrow some of mine"
  • 21: "there are not so many options, there's not so many ways that this could possibly end."
  • 22: "And all of a sudden I am scared, all of a sudden I can't breathe."
  • 23: "I shaved my head last night to start anew, in a chapter I call without you"
  • 24: " I refuse to take another breath 'till you change who you have become"
  • 25: "Does anyone else think these girls are a little too young to be here?"
  • 26: "It makes me sad in my head to think how happy we could have been."
  • 27: "Maybe college won't work out, I can come live at your house"
  • 28: "You are water twelve feet deep and I am boots made of concrete"
  • 29: "I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat and he is screaming and crying for help and maybe halfway through it has more to do with me killing him than it ever did protecting myself "
  • 30: "My friends are happy, I am happy, I have learned to adapt "
  • 31: "I am a creature of a culture that I create"
  • 32: "I've been around long enough now to know that the good things never last"
  • 33: "you gotta promise not to break no matter how far you are bent"
  • 34: "If you're uncomfortable, I could take my clothes off too."
  • 35: "I would sleep better on your floor than I would ever in my bed"
  • 36: "At my funeral, don't lie, tell them I did not want to die."
  • 37: "The end of the world makes me nervous"
  • 38: "It's just hard to explain, I like to be by myself"
  • 39: "You're not even sleeping, you're probably even listening to me"
  • 40: "If you still believe in the Lord above, get on your hands and knees and pray for us"
  • 41: "thank you for understanding my side of the story the best that you could"
  • 42: "It’s reached the point in the night where I need to decide whether I’m gonna fall asleep or watch the sunrise"
  • 43: "I don't regret it, how could it? You were the best I ever had"
  • 44: "We will steal whatever we want for fun"
  • 45: "I wish I could pretend to be all of the things you think you see in me"
  • 46: "I want we had, just want to feel it with someone else"
  • 47: "I personally think it's too cold to have the window open"
  • 48: "what we have is nowhere near as good as what we should have by now"
  • 49: "the only thing keeping me from walking away is every muscle in each one of my goddamn legs"
  • 50: "It's okay to give up, 'cause nobody here could care less"
  • 51: "There's nothing in California that you could not learn to hate here"
  • 52: "the sun was made for people who were never gonna touch it "
  • 53: "Will you come over tonight? I need some inspiration for my story."
  • 54: "I would say anything if it would make you happy."
  • 55: "I love your eyes the way they look when your uncomfortable."
  • 56: "I bought fireworks a big bag in Pennsylvania"
  • 57: "They'll probably arrest me, it'll probably ruin my whole summer"
Customer Service (NC-17)

For Danielle, because she’s having a crappy day. By the way, let’s pretend this is AU. Enjoy love!

The phone has been ringing off the hook all day and I’m dying to take my lunch break. I understand spring is coming and everyone wants to visit New York, but do they all have to stay at this hotel? I shouldn’t complain, it is job security, but I’m used to some down time. 

My lunch coverage has shown up so I’m picking up this one last call then I’m devouring whatever I can find in the break room.

“Thank you for calling The Benjamin. This is Danielle, how may I help you?”

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In-Depth Analysis of the Gruvia Special

I’ve already reblogged/liked a ton of fantastic reactions and opinions about the Gruvia special, that not only have said things I 100% agree with, but that also brilliantly pointed out things I didn’t catch on my first “read” through. Now that we have more thorough translations (thanks to imshiroi) on the chapter, I’ll have my go on what I truly got out of this Gruvia special. 

For starters, we see Juvia immersed in Gray-sama merchandise. Whether she bought most of it, or made all of it (that towel is DEFINITELY hand made haha), I don’t know. But, I wouldn’t put it past her to have spent time making tons of Gray things. Now, since it’s an omake, Mashima used the opening pages to do several things. 

1) Give us Juvia fanservice, which is (thankfully) practically non-existent within the main manga. 

2)Play up her “dedication” to Gray, as we get a look at her vast collection.

3) Tie in the product placement (and be a little naughty at the same time), with the Gray sponge, which is actually a thing many fangirls can now also partake in, as the magazine is offering Natsu, Gray and Juvia bath mittens haha. ^^

Next we move on to Juvia at the guild, talking about how it’s her 413th day anniversary since she’s met Gray-sama. While Wendy and Charle are kind of bewildered by this celebration, Erza is fully on board with it. Which is adorable, that Erza is so in tune, and supportive of Juvia. ^^ And when Erza wonders how Juvia is going to celebrate, Juvia says that she wasn’t planning anything special. IMO, this is IMPORTANT. Yes, it’s odd to celebrate such a trivial thing, like another random day, just because it’s another day of knowing someone you love.

However, it’s actually amazingly sweet. This basically means she celebrates EVERY DAY that she’s known Gray. I’m sure she also celebrated day 412 as well, and the day before that, and the day before that. As she said, she had no special plans at all. She just wanted to spend the day happily, which is probably what she always tries to do. And it’s all because her life since meeting Gray is so much better, and so much happier. So, she sees it as a reason to celebrate.

Her life before Gray was constant rain and gloom. She had 17 years of that. So she knows what it’s like to be in that other extreme, and so she is grateful for every day that has come since, and treats it special. I think that’s just amazing, because she takes nothing of it for granted. ^^

Now, the hilarious thing is that Erza DOES think Juvia should do something special for Gray, by making him a present. And Juvia immediately pounces on this idea, and spends the rest of the day hand-knitting a scarf especially for him. 

What follows this is sheer fanservice haha! Juvia sees couples everywhere with Nalu and Gale (that Gale!), making it even more obvious what Mashima himself ships lol! You know he had fun drawing that kiss. ^-^ I also love that Gajeel knew exactly who Juvia was looking for without her having to say anything. ^^

Once she finds Gray, he’s all alone and drinking. He brushes her and the scarf off pretty quickly, saying he doesn’t want to be like Natsu (who has a scarf, of course), and how he’s an ice mage, so the cold doesn’t really bother him, and therefore he doesn’t need it. This devastates Juvia, and she then gets desperate and requests that he take it anyway, just as an anniversary gift, even if he never wears it. 

Gray is confused as she explains the anniversary thing. Her explanation doesn’t sway him, and again we have Gray’s bad habit, of instead of telling Juvia why he’s not in the mood for her gift, he just walks off, and leaves everything unsaid.  But I love how Juvia said that the date didn’t even matter, just that he’s HAPPY (the way that she is). I think this is also so important. That’s the huge reason Juvia loves Gray. because he made her happy, and I think so far it’s most obvious in this special that she also just wants Gray to be happy too, and certainly at least as happy as he has made her. So, when she makes these attempts with him, she’s not just trying to win him over, and catch his eye, but also to PLEASE him. She wants to do for him, what he has done for her. 

We then see Juvia completely downhearted, and alone, crying by the river. Erza pops up again, and tells her that it’s not like her to be so down (saying she’s usually so positive and upbeat). Again, this is important. Juvia, the former rain woman, is now someone who is described as usually positive and active. And it’s true! And it’s thanks to Gray. 

We find out through Juvia that Lyon showed up (gotta love Lyon, because even though the man was (is?) in love with her, he still gracefully has stepped back, and now he’s just being a damn good friend), and told her that Gray is just down because it’s the anniversary of Ur’s death, and she should just leave him be. 

Juvia is DEVASTATED. Look at the look on her face when Lyon tells her this. And she goes on to say to Erza that she had no idea, and that she was just being happy, while Gray was actually in mourning. She was nothing but considerate in this scene. She feels like she made things worse for him, even though she technically didn’t even do anything wrong. 

However, we then get that wonderful moment where Erza consoles her, and even tries to take the blame for Juvia’s dilemma, while saying it probably didn’t bother Gray as badly as she thinks it did. Juvia insists however, that it bothers her, because she feels like she ruined his day of mourning (and these are feelings of guilt that carry on into the next day).

Even though Erza gives her the fantastic advice that every day means something different for someone, and what matters is what you make of the present day (or at least that’s what I got out of it), Juvia still can’t cheer up. We see Juvia crying on Erza’s shoulder, as she has her arm around her. I love everything about Erza in this special. Especially how lovely she was with Juvia. You can tell they’ve become great friends, and Juvia’s usually “unique” way of thinking is something Erza actually understands. I think she respects the passion and effort Juvia constantly makes when it comes to Gray (especially as she has her own problems in love ^__~) even in the face of rejection. 

Then we see Gray walking alone. We have context now for why he acted the way he did, and I don’t blame him a bit. Of course he’s feeling down on such a day, and didn’t want to deal with a strange “413 day” anniversary that Juvia suddenly sprang on him. He even said sorry, while walking away. However, as he walks, it starts to snow, and he thinks back on Ur (probably the most influential person in his life, and practically a second mother), and how she too once gave him a scarf, because it would keep him warm. 

And here’s where the really impactful moment on the Gruvia relationship starts in this chapter. Gray immediately connects Ur’s gift of a scarf, to Juvia and her scarf that she wanted to give to him. Why? As many have already said, basically, this shows that he is appreciating the love that each bore him. I’m not saying he’s putting Juvia on Ur’s level, but he acknowledges the fact that Juvia is also important to him, and so is her gift. And that he wants it, because it’s from her.  

He runs back to the spot that he had left Juvia, and digs frantically to retrieve this scarf, as we see symbolic side by side panels of Gray and Juvia in the snow. Juvia, the woman who made it rain all the time, because she was deeply sad, and Gray, the ice wizard, who’s feeling down himself on this day. It’s like their combined feelings are causing this weather, as he digs furiously for Juvia’s gift for him. 

Once he finds it, he examines it kind of skeptically, and puts it on, and he has kind of a tsundere expression on his face as he blushes (^0^). We then see him comment that it is indeed quite warm, as he walks off wearing it. ^^ Juvia had a chapter cover once back in Tenroujima, that said Gray is the ice, and she is the water, bathing him in kindness and watching over him. Juvia IMO is engulfing him in warmth, and this scarf is a representation of that in this chapter. ^__^

Now, we get to the expression that the chapter cover talked about, that supposedly is one Gray has never had before. Erza sees this too as she passes by him. He’s SMILING. That much is clear. On the anniversary of Ur’s death, Juvia did something that made him smile. That’s huge. She singlehandedly brought him out of his sad mood (again). And not only that, but Erza ALSO smiles seeing his expression, and the fact that he’s wearing the scarf. And it’s a very reminiscent smile from her, since she made a similarly knowing one when she had first addressed Juvia’s feelings for him back during the GMG, and he had avoided answering her, and got all blushy while turning away. Erza is one of his oldest friends, and knows him very well, so her reactions to him say A LOT. 

Also, not only is Gray’s smile important, but AGAIN Mashima does not let us see his whole face. Again, we aren’t privy to what’s going on in his eyes as he walks away with the scarf Juvia made for him. And I think this is a major point, because I don’t think we will see his whole face when it comes to Juvia affecting him, until the moment they become canon. Mashima does this purposely, because it would give too much away during these important moments, if we could see Gray’s full expression (which I’m sure are actually really tender ones). ^^

Then we get to the next day, and both are apologizing to the other for their behavior on the day before. And Gray again is blushing, as they both show consideration for the other’s feelings. However, we can’t possibly end a Gruvia omake on such a sweet moment. Oh no. ^^; Juvia then presents Gray with an apology gift, which is a sleep pillow of herself, which, as always (and understandably) freaks out Gray, as he refuses it, as the Queen of the Gruvia ship, Miss Erza Scarlet, smiles and sweat drops in the foreground. ^-^

So, yeah, we got a bit trolled at the end, but we all knew it was coming, and the good far, far, FAR outweighs any of the silliness that took place here. I’m just so happy that not only was this chapter not in any way an outright troll, but it also dwelled on some serious stuff, which I personally was not expecting at all. And it clearly shows again that Mashima is building Gruvia continuously, and we are now more frequently getting things from Gray’s side of the equation. This used to be a rarity, but think how many of these moments have come along since the GMG finals:

-Gray’s insistence about their superior team work during the fight with Lyon and Chelia

-His hand on Juvia’s shoulder

-The unison raid

-The hand holding

-The happy looks

-The sacrifice of his life for her

-His thanks as she made him feel better about Ultear

-Chapter 366’s hand holding, and consoling “I’m here with you” line

-Even Gray accepting the Juvibread could be seen as mutual at the very least.

So, it’s been almost a give and take situation between Juvia->Gray moments, and Gray->Juvia moments, as well as general mutual moments. Heck, I’d even say Gray may be dominating the moments lately. ^-^ 

And this omake is just one more notch on this list. Gray is melting, and fast, as Juvia’s warmth continues to wash over him. And man, when Mashima finally does let us see his face during one of these moments, it will be so very gratifying indeed. ^-^ 

anonymous asked:

People aren't born sexually attracted to others, so when is "too young"? I’ve seen people speaking out about assigning themselves to a label (not just asexuality) and end questioning too early, as things are especially prone to change in teens. (I should probably just ask those people instead though, haha.)

That is a very good question, and not one I have a clear answer for.

Do I believe that there is a time when someone is “too young” to know that they’re asexual?  Yes.

Do I know where the boundary between “too young” and “old enough” is?  No.

I think it’s different for every person, just like how puberty kicks in at a different age for every person.

Certainly, there’s a statistical range, but in my ten minutes of searching, I haven’t found a good study on the subject to take figures from.  I found one that talks about the age of the first same-sex attraction, but not one about the first experience of sexual attraction in general.  Since it’s the only data I could find, let’s proceed as if it’s valid for all types of sexual attraction.  (Which it may not be.)

That paper says that the average age of sexual attraction is:

Boys:   Mean=9.6, SD=3.6

Girls:  Mean=10.1, SD=3.7

Skimming the article, I don’t see any mention of what the distribution of the sample is, so let’s go further away from attempting to come up with a sound conclusion here and assume it’s a normal distribution.

That means that by age 9.6, 50% of boys have had their first experience of sexual attraction, by 13.2, it’s up to 84%, and by 16.8, it’s almost 98%.

For girls, it’s 50% by 10.1, 84% at 13.8, and 98% by 17.5.

I’d say 84% is a high enough threshold of reasonable certainty, so the boundary between “too young” and “old enough” is 13.2 for boys and 13.8 for girls.

Which is an absolutely ridiculous claim to make and it should be rejected out of hand.

At this point, it’s important to note a few things that call into question the validity of this conclusion:

  1. We’ve made some assumptions and leaps that aren’t based on the data.  This is bad science.
  2. This model doesn’t actually allow for the existence of asexuality.  It’s going off an assumption that everyone will eventually experience sexual attraction, even if you’re +13σ off the mean.
  3. The data comes from some random study from 1996 that I found during a quick Internet search.  Has it been discredited?  Has it been refined or superceded by better data?
  4. Is the data itself completely flawed because the study subject might not even understand what they’re feeling?

Beyond just the process errors, even if everything is accurate, why not set the bar at 9.6/10.1?  According to the data, at that age, 50% of people have experienced sexual attraction, so if you haven’t, and you think you’re ace, you’ve got 50/50 odds of being correct.

Why not earlier?  We often look at asexuality as the fall-through case.  It’s where we end up after we’ve realized that none of the other orientations work.  Am I straight?  Don’t think so.  Gay?  Nope.  Bi?  Uh-uh.  Guess I must be ace, then.  But…  Is it really that way?  Did we only go through that because we didn’t know there was another possibility?  Is there a way to know that you’re asexual without treating it as “none of the above”, something that can be recognized at an earlier age?

I remember sometime probably in the 5th or 6th grade, seeing a pin that read “I’m Temporarily Celibate” at some novelty store.  I understood what that meant at the time, and thought it would be nice to have one that said “permanently” instead.  That’s a sign.  Were there others that were just not recognized?  Is there a way to recognize them?

Patterns of attraction can begin to form well before puberty kicks in.  I’ve heard of people who’ve known that they’re gay since they were five.  Why shouldn’t there be a way to know that you’re ace when you’re five?  As asexuality becomes more well known, will we start to decipher the clues?

Enough with all the theoretical stuff, on a more practical note, does it matter?  I will admit to not being in tune with today’s youth, but are there really that many 11 year olds going around erroneously claiming to be asexual, simply because they haven’t gotten the hots for someone yet?   Doesn’t strike me as something that’s widespread.  And even if there are, what’s the harm?  When I was 11, there were a lot of other kids who were fans of New Kids on the Block.  When 14 rolled around, they all liked Pearl Jam and Nirvana.  We never made them renounce their past of singing along to The Right Stuff.  Kids change how they feel about things.  Big deal.  People position “You’re too young” as a way to protect children from the ignorance of youth, but is there really a group that benefits from this advice?  

What’s more likely is that someone might start to notice something about themselves when they’re 11, 12, 13.  They’ll start to notice that their friends are changing what they like to talk about.  14 and 15 come along and still no interest in girls (or boys, for that matter), and they start wondering why that is.  Then, by the time they’re 16 or 17, they’re like “Yeah, I’ve waited long enough, that bus ain’t coming”, and so they begin to openly identify as asexual.

Saying to a 16 or 17 year old that they’re “too young”, when they’ve spent years of introspection and questioning, when they’ve noticed that pretty much everyone else their age has expressed some level of sexual interest yet they themselves have felt nothing, that is nothing short of harmful invalidation.  There isn’t a shred of helpfulness about it.  It’s merely saying “I’m going to ignore your feelings and simply tell you that you’re wrong, because I choose not to believe you.”

And “You’re too young” doesn’t end at high school graduation.  It’s leveled at 20 year olds and 25 year olds and 30 year olds, too.  I believe SwankIvy has remarked that “You’re too young to know” lasts until it becomes “You’re too old to want sex anymore anyway.“  There isn’t an age that satisfies these people.  They’re like that normal curve up above:  No one is actually asexual, they’re just +13σ off the mean.

So, all of this is why my answer to this question typically is:

If you’re old enough to understand what asexuality is, you’re old enough to know that you’re asexual.

[Ask an Ace Guy Weekend]

DAY 2620

Jalsa, Mumbai               June 17/18,  2015                Wed  11:50 pm

The nights are strewn with frequent wakes .. it is what they say to be the ‘old age syndrome’ .. it is natural habitual and almost customary .. haha .. love the expression ‘customary’ .. but no .. seriously though .. age reduces the need to be in slumber, to be in zones that reflect the mandatory rest in human behaviour .. and to be expressed in no uncertain terms of nature that nature shall prevail .. humanity is governed by it .. it comes in various forms and incarnations .. it is desirous of notice .. if not, it exhibits its disapproval in its relentless behaviour .. it shakes up the very reason for our standing, with a force unseen unheard and un duplicated by mankind .. it pours its waters from above and below with an intensity that dislodges the strongest manufacturing ever .. it can burn in such excessive lava that has no counter .. it can disease its victims in millions .. its breezes have the sails to protect themselves and no other ..

We are in the folds of their mercy and unpredictable generosity ..

This is not the face of evil .. nor is it designed to resemble any .. it is the manifestation of a symbol that can rid you of all that comes under evil .. a mask .. an imaginated figure bearing all the possible horrors that it should or can avoid .. it is SriLankan and it is a totem for the avoidance of evil .. it is such that we put upon our walls and structures for peace from the horrors of the bad ..

It adorns my home .. and we hope that its reflection today among us all shall adorn the homes of the entire Ef .. the family that we have so lovingly built and made to prosper long ..

This family, this small group of men and women, this independent living genes of love and peace and compassion .. this heaven of our reckoning and manufacture .. this resort with the finest vacational attributes … 


Do NOT attempt to disturb it, destroy it, damage and malign it .. for may I say in all humility and truth .. this BLOG shall exist even if there are none that define Ef .. be not afraid to share your woes of disturbed environs .. I am and shall always be omnipresent .. it may seem not .. but what goes where and how is known and understood by me .. 

“dunita ke andar duniya hai, duniya andar duniya

aur phir duniya ke andar duniya phir duniya mein duniya …”

I shall respect the individuality of each .. the presence of their personal .. the liberty of their exercise .. for, that is what remains in the end .. each day and age brings with it many effects .. its imbibing is the quality of humanity ..

If you cannot .. you have failed !!

Many who visit my home may have recognition to the mural above .. it paints my life for all the world to see .. the Almighty or that special unseen FORCE, paints similar for us all … some see it, most do not .. the ones that do not are blessed .. better to await the surprise than to know its arrival .. an argument that works in the opposite with them that fight for justice in the ‘hang to death’ judgements, or to put it more explicitly, those that fight against the death sentence amongst criminal acts ..

Those that fight for are ridden with the argument that when the crime of murder was committed, the victim was taken by surprise .. the person that committed it and that awaits judgement, they argue, goes through greater pain because he knows he will be killed by hanging or whatever the law states, but doe not know when .. and so his pain an anxiety and mental conditioning is greater ..

Huge debates have occurred .. arguments for and against have been entertained by many Governments and social activists, keepers of our moral society and learned individuals .. but have not been able to reach a resolve ..

I have no personal take on this .. even if I did, it would never escape my being ..

BUT .. it is worth a ponder ..

Originally posted by peteneems

My love ..

Amitabh Bachchan

makfaith-deactivated20160717  asked:

could you do a Harry imagine where the fame gets to his head and he's being a dick to everyone. and you guys are at a restaurant and he gets mad at the waitress because they're out of his favorite type of wine. when you guys get home, you have a huge fight. you break up and he becomes depressed a few weeks later and tries to get you back but you've moved on, sad ending please... thanks!

Please guys I’d really appreciate if you give me feedbacks of my writings so that I’d know if I’m doing a good job or not.
Love you


“Not again Harry.” Y/n whined as Harry started shouting at the pizza delivery boy. He was just 15 minutes late. No need shout like a dog on him.

I was fed up with all this stupid shouting and attitude of his. There was a time once where he was known for his sweetness toward others but now it all seems vanishing. I got up from couch rolling my eyes before joining Harry on porch. I put my hand on his shoulder before signalling him softly to go inside which thank god he accepted.

“I’m sorry for his rude behaviour.” I said before smiling at him and waving goodbye. Poor little boy seemed like he was going to cry any second. I got inside and put the pizza on Harry’s lap before going upstairs.

I heard shuffling before I was joined by another pair of feet behind me.

“Babe? Baby you okay?” Harry spoke from behind me but I stayed silent and kept in moving towards our room. I was fed up with all this. I opened our door and sat on bed and began reading my book.

I felt the bed dip as Harry sat beside me before snatching the book from my hand.

“What the hell?!?” I said.

“Talk to me.”

“What do you want me to talk about Huh Mr. Harry styles?!” I said in a taunting way.

“What do you mean?” He asked me with a questioning look.

“You should know Mr. Multimillionaire.” I said rolling my eyes.

“Okay now I get it. I’m sorry” he said maybe wanting to end the now about to start fight. He pecked my lips softly. There was always this soft corner in my heart for him which always made me forget what he did.

“It’s okay.” I said before kissing him again.

“Let’s go out!” He said as he stood up excitedly. I laughed at his reaction and nodded.

–At the restaurant–

“What do you mean you’re not having that?!” Harry kinda screamed making all the heads in the hall to turn towards him.

“I-I’m sorry sir.” The waitress said. She was about 17 according to me. I felt bad for her. Here Harry was having another screaming session at poor girl for not having his favourite wine.

“You know what?! I’m not gonna done in this stupid fucking restaurant who doesn’t even know how to treat a fucking celebrity !” Harry said before getting up and dragging me out of the restaurant. Without I could protest I was out.

I remember the girl’s face. She was staying with her head down crying silently. Now this was enough. I jerked my hand away from his grip making him stumble a bit.

“Enough!” I screamed. His face was met with a complete wave of confused expression. He opened his mouth to say something but I shushed him.

“Enough Harry enough! We all know that you’re a celebrity. We all know that you’re a millionaire. We all know who damn person you are. You don’t need to remind us that everyday.! But maybe sometimes it’s you who needs to recall who the hell you were before all of this. ” I spat while pointing towards him in complete anger.


“Shut up Harry! Shut up. I’m fed up of your constant shouting at innocents for no reason. I’m fed up of you being a complete jerk.” I finished and what I saw wasn’t expected. His face was red with anger. He was breathing heavily.

“You’re just jealous! Just jealous that I’m more Rich than you!” Harry spat with total hate. Woah. I didn’t expected that. His words weren’t true at all.

“Are you fucking insane?” I laughed in disbelief shaking my head.

“I can’t believe after all this time you’d say this. You know what? I don’t want to be with someone who’s a complete duck head like you!” I shouted with same hate.

“And you know what? Maybe you should fucking leave me with my fucking money.” He said. My eyes softened at his words replacing sadness and tears.

I never thought he’d say something like that to me. After all shared love together. After all promises we made. Maybe it was me who was blind and idiot the whole time. Maybe he never actually loved me.

I nodded wiping my tears before walking back home. Not ones called ours but the one only called mine. Because there wasn’t anything left to be called ours anymore. Just hate.

–After seven months .– I was giggling again. Giggling with someone who was better. Someone who actually did loved me. After I and Harry broke up I was in complete disaster. I got skinny, dull, depressed. That boy took a big part of me even though he wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t even worth of the love I spent on him. “Stop baby! Hahaha oh my god stop !” I said as I squirmed underneath Adam. Adam my new boyfriend. “Nah hah! What’s the magic word?” He smirked. “I haha I dunno” I replied laughing. Making him tickle me harder. But he stopped when we heard our fool bell ring. I nodded and got up to receive who it was. I opened the door and saw that curly headed man who broke my heart. My love. My everything. For a second I thought I was about to black out before of the impact he had on me. “What? What’re you doing here?” “I’m sorry! I’m sorry please y/n please !” He suddenly fell to the ground sobbing. It was strange having him on my doorstep and falling on his knees crying. It was hurtful seeing him like that. I knelt and helped him stand up. Wiping his tears I smiled. “You’ll find another girl. Someone better than me Harry. But right now we both know we’re not good together.” I said as I smile sympathetically. He shook his head crying again. “You. You I want you. I promise I’ll change baby.” He cried holding my hand but I pulled away and shook my head. “I’m sorry but you need to go.” I said as softly as I could. Maybe he understood what the truth was. Finally after 20 minutes he returned back. I closed the door and went inside. Yes I did loved him now too but I couldn’t take him back.
If You Wanted A Song Written About You

If You Wanted A Song Written About You

A/N- ~flashbacks~ Sorry this is so long, but I just got so in to the moment writing this. I hope you like it! 3400-word count

rating-pg, no smut in this chapter, hopefully the next though

Part 1-http://justanotherreject1219.tumblr.com/post/113944025615/a-n-sorry-if-part-1-is-boring-i-was-trying-to-do

Part 2-

The boys all went to unpack their bags in their rooms while you went to sit on the couch and turned on the tv. Michael was the first one done unpacking, you were guessing it was because he just took everything out and threw it in random drawers. You saw that he had a bag of candy in his hand. “Whats that?” you asked him. “Its our next bet!!” He said excitedly. You laughed. “Ok, and what would that be?” “Who can eat the most warheads!” “Oh God Michael, have you seen what happens in this challenge? People bleed! Its dangerous, are you sure you don’t want to pick something different?” You asked hopefully. “Now Y/N don’t tell me you are whimping out of this.” “Michael fucking Clifford you are an idiot. Ugh fine, you know I can’t turn down a challenge. Lets do this!” “Haha now that’s what I like to hear! So, if I win the challenge you have to go out to the club with us tomorrow. But if you win, I will let you stay home without any complaints.” You thought about it for a second. You really hated going to clubs with them now because the same thing happened every time. Ashton would say he is going to the bar and would disappear for the rest of the night, Luke would get annoyed by groupies hanging all over him all night and not letting him even go pee alone, waiting outside of the bathroom for him, so he would walk around the club aimlessly trying to give them the hint to go away but it never worked. Calum would usually end up dancing with 2 or 3 girls at once and Michael would sit in the booth with girls constantly coming up to him all night, hanging all over him and sitting in his lap. You always end up sitting in the booth being ignored all night. You were just too shy to talk to random people at the club and anytime a guy came over to talk to you Michael would instantly wrap his arm around your shoulders and pull you close to him, then tell the guy to back off because “she’s taken”. You were thankful for it though. The guys coming over all gave off a creepy vibe. So needless to say, you avoided going with them at all costs but Michael usually bugged you about it until you gave in just to get him to shut up. “Ok Clifford, deal” You grinned mischievously at him. Luke and Calum came in to the kitchen where you and Michael were setting up the warheads in a pile on the table. “Where is Ash?” “Oh, he told us he had to go see his mom for a little bit” Calum answered. “Oh, he didn’t say anything to me. Oh well, whatever.” “Are you guys seriously doing the stupid warhead challenge?” Calum asked. “Well kind of, we aren’t going to see if we can eat 100 of them or anything. We are just going to eat as many as we can and whoever eats more wins!” Michael explained to them.  Calum and Luke just shook their heads at us, making us laugh. They walked over to the bar to get some pizza and sat down at the table across from Michael and me. “Ok, ready, set, GO!” Michael got excited and yelled the word go. You laughed. He had 3 in his mouth already and you were working on one, he put another two in once those were gone and I put 1 in again. It was starting to make your tongue feel rough and cracking the roof of your mouth. You were on your 8th one when you started to feel your mouth go numb and drool came out of your mouth. “Ok, that’s all I can do. Game over Michael.” You laughed. Your mouth was hurting. “How many did you do Mikey?” “I did 17!” Oh shit. You should have known not to take a challenge like this. He always seemed to win if it involved hot stuff or sour stuff. He could handle it better than you could. “I did 8” He smirked at you. You groaned out loud. “No. No Michael I don’t want to go!!” “A bet is a bet Y/N!” The boys looked confused, “what did you bet on?” Luke asked. Y/N has to go to the club with us tomorrow. Calum and Luke both starting laughing. “We will dance with you and pay attention to you, I promise!! It will be loads of fun!” Luke said. “Fine, but you guys better dance at least one song with me!” “Deal” You smiled. “Is your mouth too raw for pizza?” You asked Michael. “Of course not! How dare you ask such a question!” He acted like your words hurt him. You guys were now all sitting in the living room drinking and watching tv. You were so glad your best friends were back for a little bit. You had felt so alone lately. The house you all shared together was dead quiet every night and you usually had tvs on in several rooms to make it not feel so big and empty. You were curled up on the couch with Michael leaning into his side and he had his arm wrapped around you. You looked at your phone to see the time, it was already 10:30. You started to get upset again. Ashton had been gone for a while now and hadn’t even bothered to text you. “You guys heard from Ashton yet?” “Nope.” They all answered at once. You got up to go in the other room and call him. “Don’t leave me” Michael called out to you. “I’ll be right back Michael” You laughed. You went into the kitchen and stepped out into the backyard, butterflies of nervousness in your stomach. You were scared of calling him because every time you did he got angry and thought you were checking up on him. You pressed the call button and heard it ring 3 times before he picked up. You sat down in one of the lawn chairs on the back porch. “What do you need Y/N?” He said, sounding annoyed. You put him on speaker and sat the phone down on a table outside so you could pace back and forth. You were so tired of his shitty attitude towards you. Tired of him treating you like an annoying little sister that wouldn’t leave him alone. You were his girlfriend who lived with him for god’s sake. “Ashton, when are you coming home? I’ve missed you and want to see you.”  “I don’t know Y/N. Probably not until like 3 or 4 in the morning.” “Ashton we need to talk, I can’t keep doing this.” You were beyond tired of his shit. “Fine, we can talk tomorrow when you wake up. Now I’ve got to go Y/N.” He hung up. Your heart was hurting so bad. But he didn’t care anymore. You started to tear up. Things used to be so different, you weren’t even sure how you had gotten here. You remember how you met, and then the first time he had told you he was in love with you.

~”Thank you and goodnight!!!!” Your favorite band screamed into the crowd. You cheered loudly and then moved to exit the building with the rest of the audience. You had noticed a really attractive guy who had been glancing at you all night and smiling at you. You were hoping maybe you would see him again before you left so you could talk to him but it looked like he had already left. You went to the merchandise table to purchase a couple of t-shirts. You were in a really long line and it had already been about 15 minutes of you standing in it. You guessed that you had another 15 before it would be your turn. “Hi” You heard a voice say behind you. You turned around and saw the guy from earlier. “Hi” Oh smooth Y/N, you thought to yourself. You mentally face palmed yourself. He smiled and it made your heart flutter. Your breath hitched. God he was beautiful. “I’m Ashton, what’s your name?” “Y/N” “Well hello Y/N. You seemed to be enjoying yourself tonight, I liked your dance moves.” He laughed. Oh god, his laugh made you want to melt. He had the cutest child-like giggle you had ever heard. You blushed. You were a terrible dancer but forgot about that when you got lost in the music. “Thanks, I didn’t think anyone was watching.” You smiled embarrassedly. “I just wanted to come talk to you because the whole concert all I could do was watch you. You are extremely beautiful. I wanted to know if you would want to come grab a bite to eat with me after you buy your stuff?” He sounded like he was bracing himself for rejection. He nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I’d like that” You smiled at him. You couldn’t believe this guy was actually asking you out. He was so good looking that you could just stare at him for hours. But he also seemed like a genuinely nice person too. He smiled at you. “Great, I’ll just wait right here with you.” You smiled back and nodded.~

It played in your mind like a movie. You could feel all of the emotions you felt that night, going to dinner with him. Butterflies in your stomach, hope in your heart, an almost foolhardy happiness. You wanted to scream. You missed that feeling so much. Your phone went off and you saw your twitter feed filled with a picture. You felt like your heart finally shattered. It had been cracked again and again by him, but now it was in pieces and you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to put it together again. The picture was of Ashton and another girl full on making out at the club you guys went to all the time. He had his hands in her hair and her hands were on his waist. Where your hands should be. Her mouth was on his, instead of yours. You couldn’t believe this was happening. You had your suspicions, but you still never really believed he would hurt you like that. You thought life on the road was just difficult and he’d come back to you. Just the same person he was before.

~You had the most amazing dinner with him after the concert and now he was walking you to your door. “I had a great time Y/N” He smiles and places his hand on your cheek. “I did too Ashton” You smiled. You had smiled so much tonight that your cheeks hurt. You had never met anyone as amazing as him. He was so passionate and driven. He intrigued you. He was a perfect gentleman the whole evening and you felt like you had known him for years. Conversation just flowed so easily with him. It was the perfect date. He was absolutely perfect. He leans towards you slowly, making sure you’re ok with him kissing you. You meet him the rest of the way and the kiss is gentle but you feel an electricity you had never felt before. He holds his lips still against yours for a few seconds, then slowly moves them, running his hand through your hair. You move your hands to his waist. You didn’t want this kiss to ever end.~

“Fuck!” You cry out. You are so angry. You punch the side of the house. You pull your hand back to see it is bleeding, but all you can feel is the pain in your chest, the hollowness in your stomach. You pace back and forth, tears streaming down your face now, you hardly notice. You walk inside, headed for you and Ashton’s room. You want to scream and cry and punch something. You grab the framed pictures on the wall in the hallway of you and Ashton and tear them down, smashing them one by one against the floor the glass going everywhere. “Fucking asshole!!!” You scream.

~Y/N, I think I’m in love with you.” He said calmly. You looked at him, you were completely caught off guard. You and Ashton had been dating for a year now. You inhale loudly. God he was amazing, you had known you loved him after dating him for 6 months, but you didn’t want to say it first. “What?” You ask him, just so you can be sure that is what he said. “I’m in love with you Y/N Y/L/N, I have been since about 6 months ago.” Fuck, he loved you. You felt your stomach getting butterflies, you had never told a boy you loved them before. But you knew Ashton was the one you wanted to say it to. He made you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world, he listened to all of your problems, and he genuinely cared. “I love you too Ashton” You said softly. He grinned so wide his eyes crinkled at the sides, he lifted you off of the ground and spun you around in circles, falling to the grass and laying you on top of him. “Y/N, you are the most amazing beautiful girl I have ever met. I never want to be with anyone else, ever. No one even comes close to how amazing you are. Since I’ve been with you its like everything was in black and white, and now its in color. I just, fuck, I just love you so fucking much Y/N! He smiled at you. You looked down at him, smiling like an idiot. “You are so cheesy, I love it.” You told him. He rolled you underneath him so your back was on the grass now, and kissed you. He ran his tongue across your bottom lip, wanting to deepen the kiss. You opened for him and he slid his tongue in, slowly moving it across yours. You moaned in pleasure, arching your back, trying to be as close to him as possible. You ran your hands through his soft hair and pulled lightly. He got a wicked glint in his eyes and you knew where this was going. He picked you up bridal style and carried you inside to his room.~

You looked at the bed he had so passionately made love to you in time and time again. Now he was in bed with some other girl. His long skilled fingers running along some other girls body, him whispering sweet words in to some other girls ear. “God dammit!!!!!!” You screamed, you were so blind with rage and pain that you didn’t care what damage you did to any of his material possessions.  Your chest felt so tight, and a strangled cry came from your throat. You grab the lamp from the nightstand and throw it as hard as you can at the wall with a collage of pictures of you two together. You went to that wall and tore all of the pictures in to pieces, crying as you did it. You grab a hold of the bedside table and empty the drawers contents on to the floor. Love notes, and more pictures. Drawings he had made for you. You threw the drawers across the room. You tear the clothes out of the closet and scatter them everywhere, just to get your hands on something. You fall to your knees, crying and trying to catch your breath. The boys walked in. “Y/N, what the hell?” Luke said. You just screamed, “Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him!!” The tears wouldn’t stop now. You felt so broken, so hopeless. Everything was gone. Michael was behind you on the floor now, hugging your body as tightly as he could to his, trying to let you get it all out. “I fucking hate him!” You scream. You get up to find something else to break and slide everything on the dresser to the floor. You grab perfume bottles and throw them against the wall as hard as you can.

~”Y/N?” “Yeah babe?” “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you move in with me?” He looked so cute and nervous, like he thought you’d say it was too soon. “Really?” You asked him. “Really.” He patiently waited for your answer, looking so happy. His eyes were sparkling and you couldn’t stop staring in to them. They were all you wanted to look at, ever. “Yes! Of course!! I would freaking love to Ash! Oh my god!” He loved how excited you were about it, because he felt the same way. He wanted you here with him, even if he was gone for months at a time, he could come home straight to you. He loved the idea of starting a life with you. You occupied his thoughts 24/7. Even when he was on the road playing shows or out at clubs with girls throwing themselves at him. All he could think of was you. He wanted no one but you for the rest of his life. “Fuck I love you Y/N!!! He placed quick pecks all over you face and neck, making you giggle. Then he started tickling you and you could hardly breath, but you loved it. You had tears coming out of your eyes from laughing so much by the time he stopped. He gently kissed your forehead. “I really do love you Y/N, and I really do want to spend the rest of my life with you” He said seriously, while looking down in to your eyes. You felt your heart flutter at his words. “I love you too Ashton, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you too.” “Good, cause you are stuck with me!” He giggled. You smiled at him and brushed the hair away from his face. “I’m happy to be stuck with you Ashton Irwin.”~

You have all of these memories flashing back in your mind. All you see when they are over is white hot rage, burning a hole through your chest. You punch the wall closest to you with the same hand as earlier, your hand going right through the plaster and making a small hole in it. “I fucking hate him!!!” You scream painfully. Your voice is raw now and the tears aren’t slowing down. The sobs racking your body, making it hard to breath. Blood was running down your arm now. You felt Michael grab you from behind and hold your arms down to your sides, so you can’t hurt yourself anymore. “Y/N, stop it. Calm down. Please. Just breath. Calm down. You see Luke and Calum looking at you with sad, worried eyes. “I fucking loved him Michael. I fucking trusted him.” You cried. “I loved him.” The anger subsided and the tears came more freely now. Michael picked you up and carried you to the bed. “Luke, Calum, will you get something to clean her hand up and an ice pack for it. Hopefully its not broken.” He sighed. He sat you in between his legs, his back resting against the headboard of the bed. He started slowly stroking your hair, letting you continue your crying. “Michael, I loved him.” “I know you did Y/N. I know.” “Why wasn’t it enough?” You had never felt this much pain. You had held in your emotions for so long now and tonight the dam broke. You couldn’t control it anymore. “Y/N, I don’t know the answer to that. Except that he is an idiot, and a fucking asshole.” Michael said softly. Luke and Calum came back with rubbing alcohol, a rag, and an ice pack. Michael continued to stroke your hair while Luke cleaned your hand. Michael was humming a song, because he knew it soothed you anytime you were upset. You still couldn’t feel the pain in your hand yet but you knew it would happen soon. “Ok, all cleaned up.” Luke said. He looked at you sadly. Trying to apologize for Ashton with his eyes. You understood. “Thank you.” “I am going to take you to lay down in my room and you are going to go to sleep. We will deal with the mess, ok?” Michael said. You were too exhausted physically and emotionally to argue and he knew it. He picked you up and carried you to his bed. You fell asleep almost instantly once he started softly stroking up and down your back.

anonymous asked:

Sorry for bothering you with that question. I'm sure you would get tired of being asked "how do i be a piercer" all the time :/ The help was very appreciated!

Hey it’s alright, I had a big long answer typed out and then it messed up so I’ll start again. I’ve been professionally piercing for eight years. Which means I’ve been piercing for 10 + years in reality. Like most of the people in this industry that have been in it that long I found bme at a super young age. I had a copy of modern primitives, etc. etc. I read everything I could and did as much research as possible and started piercing myself and my friends. DO NOT DO THAT. When I was 17 I got my knuckles tattooed at a well known shop and asked if they knew of anyone who needed a piercer. He gave me the name of a lady who owned a shop in the next town over that he had worked at so I grabbed a collection of photos (that I wish I still had) and took them over to her. I got the job and was piercing full time a few weeks later. A couple of months in I took all my savings and went to the fakir intensives. Going out to eat with Jef Saunders and Todd almighty changed my life forever. I was grateful to learn that we were using leroi jewelry back home haha. After another year at that shop she closed. I traveled around for a bit until I started at another shop in town. I worked for awhile but decided it wasn’t the kind of shop I wanted to be in. Again I traveled around for a bit and again started at another shop. I eventually talked the owner into ordering quality jewelry for awhile but he didn’t see the need for it so I started buying jewelry out of pocket. After a year or so of arguing with him I decided to quit. If I’m not going to do high quality piercing I’m not going to do it at all. I traveled for a long time, lived in Chicago, lived in mississippi. Then I came back home and got offered a job at the shop I’m at now. It’s a great studio, incredibly high end, great tattoo artists that should be way more well known than they are.. They care about quality. I’ve been there for two and a half years now. Anyway, the moral of the story is, it took a long time to get where I am. I had to go through a lot of bullshit, deal with a lot of shitty people, travel, step out of the industry for a minute to reevaluate myself.. It’s not easy. Realistically if you want to make a ton of money or “be a big deal and get famous” Then don’t bother. It’s an over saturated industry.. Their are to many shit piercers that need to get better or quit. If you’re determined to be a piercer then get a great apprenticeship and don’t settle for less. If it doesn’t then it doesn’t happen. You don’t have to pierce. I don’t mean to sound harsh it’s just the truth.. We don’t need anymore hack piercers. If you’re going to do it do it because you love it and work your ass off to be the absolute best.