i was 12 when i heard this

Personal flashback

I remember in 7th grade we did an assignment where we listened to different songs and we had to write down what we thought were the meanings of the songs and how they relate to us. One of the songs was the greatest love of all by whitney Houston and its a great song but i just remember crying when I heard it in class that day (discretely of course) I guess the song just reminded me of hard times going on in that time period. So now when I hear that song I just want to go back and hug my 12 year old self and tell him it will all be ok

(I wanted to draw this but eh)

many years later in the story of Ninjago

old man Lloyd: and that is how we saved Ninjago

Kid: [raises hand] excuse me Master Lloyd! Can I have a question?

old man Lloyd: Yes?

Kid: Why do you still sound like a 12 year old? Didn’t you grow older quickly because of that tea?

other kid: Yeah, shouldn’t your voice have a little change then?

other other kid: Didn’t your voice change when you were possessed by that ghost Morro?

old man Lloyd:

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT IF YOU PLAN ON GETTING THE OVERWATCH FUNKO POPS.

I’m part of a Funko Pop group on Facebook (I specifically made an account to join all these groups) and they posted a list of Gamestop-exclusive Pops coming out. For those who aren’t American, Gamestop is a store where you buy video games, toys, and anything else that all relates to gaming. They’re known to carry many exclusive Funko Pops, including Soldier: 76 when he was released. Anyways, as I browsed the list, I noticed “Posh Tracer” and “USA McCree” were stated as upcoming releases. 

You heard me right. 

They are going to release a USA MCCREE FUNKO POP.

I called my local Gamestop and you can, in fact, pre-order these pops – both of which come out April 1st. It’ll be $5 to pre-order each Pop, and they’ll be $12 overall so you’d only be paying another $7 when you pick it up in April. As long as you pre-order between now and March, as in before they’re released, you’re guaranteed to get the Pops (the exact words of the woman I spoke to on the phone). So if you don’t have the money now (like me), you don’t have to stress over it. 

I’m not sure if they’re taking pre-orders for the rest (I think the employee I was speaking to hinted that D. Va would be Blizzard-Exclusive), but they’re for-sure taking pre-orders for Posh Tracer and USA McCree. Call your local Gamestop if you’re American, or see if you can get an America friend to pick them up for you if you don’t have any Gamestops in your country!

12:12am: it’s a little past midnight and i’m breaking down. again. i mean, i’m breaking down for the fourth time this week. my heart is too heavy for this, my heart is too heavy for you

12:49am: still breaking down. still wishing that you lied to me when i asked what your name was so i wouldn’t have to bare my teeth every time i heard it.

1:57am: might be relapsing. might be lonely. might be dead

2:34am: i don’t deserve to live with your words in my mind. they should have never been here and neither should you

3:01am: i’m sorry, i swear. i’m not angry. i love you.

3:02am: i love me more.

—  (catherine w // sempiternalwriting)
Stamina

Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 1841
Warnings: Smut. Basically, no plot, whatsoever. Unprotected sex, oral sex (female receiving), language. NSFW
Request: @ellen-reincarnated1967 - CONGRATS ON 300!!!! Can i please request a bucky x reader with number 12. I want you to teach me to fight, and i dunno how you can make it nsfw, but if you can, have a blast! thanks for including me! i’m signal boosting this!
Prompt: 12) ‘teach me to fight.’

Originally posted by fanfic-super-chick

Teach me to fight.’

Bucky nearly spat out his coffee, when he heard your voice coming from the shadows of the kitchen. 'What? Why?’  He dropped the newspaper onto the table of your shared apartment. He walked towards you and wrapped you in his arms, kissing your temple.

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SNL: How standby works

Or more accurately, how mine went!:

(I am not a good writer in any sense so I apologize now)

  • REMEMBER STANDBY TICKETS DO NOT GUARANTEE YOU A SEAT YOU ARE ONLY THERE TO FILL SEATS WHEN PEOPLE DON’T NOT SHOW UP. some scary guy will remind you of this later
  • you will only know you have a seat when you actually sit in it
  • First I arrived at Rockefeller plaza around 11:30am-12 pm, the line will be on 48th street either on the side of the nintendo store (usually). You will see silver barricades, the line starts at this corner. 
  • All the shows are different. The time you should show up depends on what time of year, who is hosting as well as musical guest and how many people the host will invite. 
  • I heard when Margot Robbie hosted they handed out many extra tickets Saturday morning to fill up the spots. But when Dave Chapelle hosted no one made it into the live show and only 7 got into the rehearsal
  • I suggest if you came a long way and only have once chance, get there early Friday morning around 10-12 am. If you have many chances to do this again then you could possibly be fine with arriving later Friday evening around 10pm. But it is up to you, if you think its too early you can always come back later. Check on the line when you can if you’re nearby.
  • You must place everything you brought down on the street and only leave for short breaks for eating and the bathroom. If you are inviting someone later they must save their own spot. So say you arrive and then two people are behind you, your friend then shows up, they must leave something behind those two people and can join you while waiting until morning because thats the order they will receive their tickets. Anything other than this is cutting the line. No saving spots if the person isn’t there initially. This isn’t fair to anyone else who had to come super early.
  •  This may change but I heard you can bring a single blow up mattress but it must lay lengthways so your head is towards the building and your feet towards the curb (you can lay on it however this is just a visual aid)
  • No tents allowed. Bring tons of blankets and layers to wear. Bring things to read and watch but beware there is no where to charge electronic items. If you have never slept on the street you probably won’t get any sleep that night. If you get restless you can go for a brief walk. It will always be colder than you think it is, so be prepared. Bring heating pads if need be. Of course if this is in say June then you probably don’t need to do that. But do bring blankets. The cement is cold and you will want to lay on several layers to not feel it. 
  • You are allowed to visit anyone in line for as long as you want - up until 6am - remembering to keep your original place in line kept with a large item.
  • tons of people will be asking what you’re doing there, who’s the host, musical guest and question if you’re homeless…. you can make jokes out of this because if not you’ll get annoyed quickly. Many people even yell from cars driving past so look out for that. Also some speed by so stay off the street as much as possible and stay on the curb
  • most likely there will be an old lady there, I hear she goes every week and she’s usually one of the first people in line, she always picks rehearsal. If you see someone cut just tell her if you are not comfortable telling a guard. Make sure you memorize who is in front of you or take pictures. If you’re one of the first 30 she will most likely remember who was there. 
  • most of the guards are super nice so be friendly and talk to them if they seem like they want to
  • You have now made it through the night! Hopefully…. At 6am they will ask you to get on your feet and pack everything up. You will all stand in line for about an hour now. The tickets will not be distributed until it has reached exactly 7 am. Some pagers will go in order asking you if you’d like to go to the rehearsal (which has more sketches, is more relaxed and a better chance of getting) or the live show (its live and you get to be the laughs! don’t scream out to them though this is rude to the actors) 
  • BRING A VALID FORM OF PHOTO ID, they will ask to see this for your ticket.
  • After you pick a show they give you a ticket with your number on it, and write your name down for the show you’re attending. You do not get to keep this so take a picture if you want to! the sun just arose it’ll look good ;) And yay! You are now free to go home or wherever!
  • Your ticket says what time you need to be back for your show. You will go to the NBC store. This store is now located inside the building. Find this entrance by entering the part of the building where it has a big sign/block-billlboard for sSNL,  Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers etc.  I suggest coming 30 minutes before that to look around and get organized. DO NOT COME AFTER 10:30 this is cutting it late. You will see a woman, most likely, in a blazer just go ask her where you should be. You will see the people who won the lottery as well as the second standby line behind you. They fill your seats if you do not show, they get their tickets that morning. They will want to see you ID one last time here. 
  • Backpacks are not allowed, do not bring one!!!
  • at 10:30 they put you in order, usually groups of 10-20 go up at a time. At this point you can put everything away except your ticket and your phone if you must. The first group will be taken up. You will go through security, they will explain how it works, basically her everything in a purse/one location such as a pocket. This is where the scary man is telling you how worthless you are and how you’re just a seat filler! No worries I still love you
  •  you will then wait in a stairwell. You are asked to then turn off your phone. TURN IT OFF! DO NOT PUT IT ON SILENT! unless you are okay with them taking it and deleting any pics or kicking you straight out. (someone was kicked out of dress rehearsal so i advise you just follow the rule turn it off NOW)
  • you then get taken up in elevators and wait in line. you can look at all the screens flashing pictures of characters and sketches over the years it amazingly beautiful. You get to see the lounge where celebrities wait in. Keep an eye out for them! Olivia Wilde passed right by me! 
  • It will be getting close to 11:30 pm now, don’t panic. they seat everyone and then you if there is any room. When it is time they give you a bracelet you put on yourself. You move quickly into another elevator. Here numbers don’t matter so get out there quickly! 
  • You get up there walk through the hall where there are a bunch of framed photos of characters so many good ones! (I saw lots of kate). They then have you stop and they take your tickets (aww sad). Then you quickly past a short hall with costumes behind glass of famous characters.
  •  The staff pick your seat so it could be anywhere. Don’t worry they do sketches everywhere so at at least one point in time you will be close to them. 
  • YOU ARE IN YOUR SEAT!! YOU MADE IT NO TAKE BACKS! (unless you get kicked out) The room is cold so bring a sweater just in case. Do not put anything over the railing it will be in there shot and they’ll ask you to move it. 
  • Someone, most likely Michael Che, will do a bit of stand up. Then maybe they will do a song and have backup dancers who knows!
  • Then the show will begin, remember to be respectful of the cast. But most importantly have fun! just sit and relax and absorb everything around you because you will not have any thing extra you see documented for later.
  •  During the show you may want to look at the screen rather than the actual actors. I trued watching them live even when they were far. The show will be recorded you will see what it looks like for everyone else later so maybe spend this time looking at the show from another perspective. 
  • Once you’re done and you’d like to meet the cast outside, go out as soon ask you can. The host exits somewhere else so it is very unlikely you will meet them. It’ll be under the rainbow deck sign. It’ll be on the side of the street facing the building you camped next to. Stand behind the barriers I heard they are strict about this. (there was a point when I was there and no one cared about them, so read the situation if need be) Be alert some of the cast comes out fast and you don’t even realize. 
  • Take pics of the cast! with the cast! if they look like they want to go please let them. Be nice and kind because they are sweet people! (if you’re scared colin seems the easiest to approach, very friendly) 
  • Just have fun and talk to them! I know we all have our favourites but please try and give everyone in the cast a good amount of attention if they stick around. 

I hope you have a fun time, its an extraordinary experience! (hope I didn’t miss anything) And I would really enjoy hearing anyone’s story if you do go! 

Good luck!! <33

anonymous asked:

I don't see why people would think it is odd that Elvis Duran would have heard Harry's single or that he would know the release date. Not only is Elvis friends with Irving, but Irving also sits on the board iHeartMedia who incidentally has been struggling financially ( deadline. com/2016/12/iheartmedia-debt-refinancing-static-radio-prospects-weaken-1201875450/ ) Personally, if I was sitting on their board, I'd give them exclusives on my clients too.

Hahaha ummm I think people think it’s more odd that a) Elvis is making the exclusive announcement about the song two weeks ahead of the release when Harry’s team hasn’t commented on it and when Harry hasn’t done anything to show he’s coming out with music and when no other source has that info or is confirming that info, and b) it was erased from the full show even though Elvis is a 2+ decade radio veteran, not some amateur who would foolishly let such a huge thing slip and have had to cut it out later as a result, and c) Elvis is one of numerous random people who have now claimed to have heard Harry’s music, which again, Harry and his team have not acknowledged even exists, even as the head of Columbia blabs about it without bothering to add Harry to their site, and which seems a bit odd considering these people seem to have heard it way in advance of the release of the single when you’d think something like this would be locked up tightly to prevent it from leaking before its intended release.

Prompts (for requests)

1. As soon this is over we should definitely make out
2. This is the most stupid plan I’ve ever heard. When do we start?
3. I’m gonna kiss you now
4. Move your ass over here or I’ll drink all the capri sun without you
5. I have to tell you something
6. We should marry
7. What the hell is your problem?
8. I wear heels bigger than your dick so shut up
9. Sorry I blacked out and tried to kill you
10. I’m not drunk enough for this
11. It’s not the same without you
12. ‘Shut up’ 'Make me’
13. 'Okay but do you like like me?’ 'We’re married.’
14. 'You’re never allowed to drink that much coffee again’
15. The chocolate was empty, I had a breakdown, your lamp had to pay for it
16. Please tell me this isn’t true
17. From now on, we do it my way
18. Is it supposed to be blue?
19. Are you crying?
20. Because I’m PREGNANT
21. Stop talking and fucking cuddle with me
22. Don’t forget your coat
23. What the hell happened to you?
24. Does 'not starting to cry while watching a disney movie’ count as a special skill?
25. We had sex and it was so good that I had an asthma attack
26. Did I just really say that out loud?
27. I can’t let you do this.
28. I can’t let you do this alone.
29. Please tell me you haven’t bought another dog
30. Stop calling me princess. I’m a queen.
31. Just don’t leave me now, okay?
32. It’s an elf thing
33. Looks like someone died here
34. You’re under arrest for being too attractive and ruining my life
35. Just say it already
36. Could you please sing for me?
37. I hate you less than I hate everyone else
38. You woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me this?
39. Stop laughing and get that thing off me
40. Are you going to kiss me or will I have to lie to my diary?
41. You look far too beautiful today
42. Wait- you like me?
43. When was the last time you slept?
44. Just do it already
45. Ha, you wish!
46. I had a nightmare
47. He lost his virginity, I lost my bra. Seems like a fair trade off to me.
48. Now that was… nice
49. I owe you
50. For science!
51. Just try not messing it up for once
52. I can’t breathe
53. How was I supposed to know?
54. I can’t live without you
55. Would you just shut up and say yes?
56. Pretend you’re my boy/girlfriend, quick!
57. We should try adding a third person
58. I taught you how to pick locks and this is how you use that skill?
59. Is there some free guacamole in for me?
60. Let’s just pretend that never happened
61. How?
62. You gave me this nickname that just does things to me
63. Stop being so cute, it’s distracting
64. This is my favourite human. Don’t touch.
65. I can’t stop smiling and it’s your fault
66. I guess I have a problem
67. Are you drunk?
68. It’s time you start calling me babe
69. You’re late.
70. You can cook, I can’t. I guess I’ll have to stick around when I don’t want to starve
71. I live next door and I heard screaming so I came over thinking someone was getting murdered and now we’re both trying to get the spider out of your apartment
72. You’re the closest to family I’ve got
73. Well, we’re about to find out
74. 'Do you believe in aliens?’ 'Go the fuck to sleep’
75. My whole existence is a scandal
76. Just try not setting the kitchen on fire this time
77. I guess my love just wasn’t enough
78. Let’s give it another try
79. When did you become so badass?
80. All I want for Christmas- is you.
81. You came all the way here just to tell me this?
82. The kids wanted me to do it
83. In order not to get imprisoned we have to marry
84. Quick, it’s an emergency! Kiss me!
85. I want to see you again
86. Let me see you one last time
87. You’re the only person I can talk to
88. Help me.
89. Wow I’d sell my soul for this
90. Just the two of us. Against the rest of the world
91. Shouldn’t you be at your wedding right now?
92. You’re too good for me
93. Is this the part where we confess our undying love for each other?
94. Been there, done that
95. You were supposed to arrest me but just couldn’t do it
96. You. Me. Escape Room. Now.
97. No shit Sherlock
98. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were jealous
99. Who did this to you?
100. Well, I guess our only option is to duel

sinners like us (saeran x reader, part I)

rating: 18+ (707 route spoilers, suicide ideation)

notes: ah. here it is. the hospital sinfic i’ve been dropping hints about for like two or three weeks. i’ll add a summary when i can actually think of one. um, i’m not going to lie, the intentions here is for this fic to get pretty dark.i think the current projection is 9 to 12 parts and each chapter will have it’s own set of warnings and some may include acts of violence, abuse and sexual content. so please be aware- for that reason this isn’t a fic for everyone, but it is a story i really wanted to tell. so for those of you who decide to read, i do hope you enjoy. < (_ _) >

chapter 1 | chapter 2 |

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Seventeen as things I've heard on the bus
  • S.coups: My kids call it 'yelling' when I raise my voice. But I call it 'motivational speaking' for the selective hearing.
  • Jeonghan: Today I sent out a text saying "Hey, I lost my phone, would you call it?" 12 people called me...
  • Joshua: Always beleive in God. Because there are some questions even Google can't answer.
  • Jun: When I'm bored, I send a text to a random number saying "I hid the body... now what?"
  • Hoshi: Sometimes even the devil on my shoulder asks "What the hell are you doing now?"
  • Wonwoo: I have never seen a tombstone that said "Died because I didn't forward a message to 50 people."
  • Woozi: I'm not short. I'm just more down to earth than most people.
  • DK: I changed my car horn to sound like gunshots. People get out of the way much faster now.
  • Mingyu: 3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep. The other one wants to if penguins have knees.
  • The8: If someone calls you 'ugly', have a good comeback and say "Excuse me, I'm not a mirror."
  • Seungkwan: All my life I thought air was free. Until I bought a bag of chips.
  • Vernon: If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd just laugh and search with them.
  • Dino: There is no angry way to say bubbles.
Shared Sounds

Genre: Oneshot, Soulmate AU, fluff, getting together

Summary: Fiction. Dan Howell is excited for his eighteenth birthday, excited to hear the sounds of his soulmate, though his journey is not destined to be an easy one. He hears the sounds as soon as he turns eighteen, but they don’t become clear until you hear your soulmate’s voice. And, well, Dan wasn’t exactly expecting his sounds to become clear when he heard an interview given by a member of his favourite band: Phil Lester.

Warnings: Just heaps of fluff and slight awkwardness (I mean, this is Dan)

Word Count: 12,185

A/N: I had this idea for a soulmate AU where you can hear the sounds that your soulmate hears after your eighteenth birthday, but the sounds are fuzzy and only become clear when you hear your soulmate’s voice. Then I just ran with it. All credit to anyone who might have come up with this before, it’s cliche but I wanted some fluff to get me through some uni stress ^_^ enjoy!

AO3 Link

This fic now has a sequel! Read it here

Finding your soulmate is the key moment in anyone’s life: this was common knowledge. So it hardly came as a surprise that Dan Howell’s eighteenth birthday was his most eagerly anticipated date in the year. He just couldn’t help but feel a mix of anticipation and happiness the more time span on, throwing him through the universe up to the one moment where he’d meet the person who would change his life forever. Hopefully.

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This isn’t a fuck customers story, this is a happy one!

So I work a second job at a children’s museum which basically is picking up after kids and telling them they can’t do that most of the time. If you’re in a shit mood then it’s a shit day. Yesterday (3/12/17) I was in a good mood because I only covered people’s breaks. I was in an exhibit where I had the ability to actually show kids how things work rather than just pick up after them. 

I was showing this kid the proper way to turn the crank (they were turning it backwards) and being all kind and gentle until they understood. I heard someone say my name and figured it was someone I knew (because when does any stranger ever look at your nametag). It wasn’t, but I said “yes?” Thinking the lady had a question. She did not. She said she just wanted to tell me she thought I was doing an excellent job with the kids and how she understood it may be hard at times but she thought I did it well. I told her thank you and smiled genuinely because not many times do I get someone complimenting me on a job well done and saying they knew it was probably not an easy job. It honestly made my day so much better.

When I was younger, around the age of 12, I discovered the Percy Jackson series for the first time. I instantly fell in love with the characters, the story, the whole thing, and I still love them to this day.

When I was younger, around the age of twelve, I started to feel like I was different than everyone else. My friends started to talk about boys, but I wanted to talk about girls too. I grew up in a very Catholic family, going to Catholic school, and the only time I’d heard the word ‘gay’ it was in a negative context. I’d never even heard the word 'bisexual’ at that point. I thought I was alone. I thought there was something wrong with me. I thought if I told anyone how I felt, people would judge me and shame me, and that I would go to hell.

I was just a kid back then, so I didn’t really know any better. I know now that my sexuality and feelings are valid, but the thing is, there are so many other kids out there who are going through exactly the same thing I did.

They feel so alone and isolated, like the whole world is against them. They might turn to fiction for comfort, like I did. They might pick up a certain book from a certain shelf, and start read about some badass demigods fighting the forces of evil. They might find characters that are the same as them, gay; bisexual; non-binary; transgender, and they might finally understand that they’re not alone in the world. There are people like them out there, amazing heroes that save the world. They would start to feel valid, hopeful that what their going through isn’t their battle alone.

Representation matters.

Thank you, Rick.

“After the Grand Prix Final, let’s end this”

When I first heard those words, I was completely and utterly surprised and shocked. The first thing my thoughts jumped to was their romantic relationship, but after thinking about it for a while, I realised that the possibility of a breakup was basically 0%

This post was longer than I expected so the rest of my observations and theories are below.

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Carly Rae Jepsen And Lil Yachty's 'It Takes Two' Duet Remake Is Peak Millennial Pop

No two artists have led to more defensive critical work over the last several years than Carly Rae Jepsen and Lil Yachty. And now the two unabashedly joyful artists have come together in a move tailor-made to inflame haters and traditionalists alike, remaking Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock’s classic “It Takes Two.”

The duo remade the track with the help of producer Mike Will Made-It for a Target ad that will air during the Grammys on February 12. Yachty does a great job, considering he’s probably never heard the song before he was asked to cover it. Check out a preview of the track up top.

Jepsen — who raps on the track — said that she found the offer of working with the producer and rapper too strange pass up.

“I was like, ‘This is too weird to say no to!’” she told Entertainment Weekly. “I love when life surprises you like that. This is definitely one of those moments.”

In addition to talking about new cover alongside Lil Boat, Jepsen steadily revealed details about her follow-up album to 2015’s Emotion. Jepsen told the magazine that her new album is inspired by disco artists like Donna Summer.

“That would be the disco inspiration that’s leading the pack at the moment,” she said. “That said, some of the songs that have surprised me have not been in the disco realm as much. I can’t really put my finger on what it is, but that’s exciting too. There’s so much music out there right now and so much quality stuff, so I’m trying to find out what I have to offer that’s different.”

An unexpected nursing lesson on Valentine's Day

This is my first Valentine’s Day alone in 12 years but by my choice. I have to admit, all the posts, pictures and flowers have annoyed me today.
It’s not to say I haven’t tried to find someone but my expectations are high. Despite an ended marriage, I still believe in love but I realized my job had a huge bearing on that.
On several occasions I have heard myself telling my dates of watching elderly couples holding hands in the final moments and that is what I want in life. Watching a husband feed his wife when she couldn’t raise her arms. Telling them of the times I’ve had to hold strangers as they grieve and of the time we had spouses on our unit that passed away within a day and how we wheeled the husband to his wife’s room to say his final goodbye.
I have seen love in moments that could rip apart a person’s soul.
And that has set up a standard for me. I want love until the end, when the world is falling apart. I want to have my hand held as I pass into the unknown.
In an odd way, nursing has redefined my outlook on love but it’s okay. I am willing to wait till I find that person.
So for all the lonely people on Valentine’s Day, it’s a good sign. Means we haven’t given up on love, we just have to wait till it’s worthwhile.

Prompt 12.  things you said when you thought i was asleep
Title Microsleep
Fandom Yuri!!! On Ice
Rating General
Word Count
 400+
Notes The only request that came with this prompt was that it be extremely, utterly, tooth-rottingly fluffly so I hope I delivered ~
__________________________________

Yuri heard the front door open but didn’t bother to move. He was too comfortable, and Makkachin was laying on his stomach and he was heavy. And he was just about to fall asleep.

He heard Victor’s voice calling out for him— “Oh Yuuri,” Victor always liked adding emphasis to his name, “I’m home! Where are you?”

Asleep, Yuri replied in his head, sighing as he wrapped his arms tighter around Makkachin. And I’d like to keep it that way. The poodle’s ears perked upwards and he shot a look at the apartment’s hallway. But he didn’t bother moving, either. He must have been enjoying his mid-afternoon nap just as much as Yuri was.

Victor called out Yuri’s name once again, then the expensive clack-clack of shoes echoed through the apartment, moving closer.

“It’s not nice to keep me waiting, you know,” Victor said to the empty air, and Yuri could hear something like bags rustling against each other as he moved. He better not have gone shopping

The sound of Victor’s steps stilled, and Yuri heard him let out something of a small, humored sigh.

“I guess you’re still getting used to the timezone difference, huh?” Victor asked; judging by his voice, he was probably standing behind the couch, just discovering him and Makkachin cuddled together.

Yuri didn’t dare to open his eyes. Makkachin rested his head back onto Yuri’s chest.

“You’re cute when you sleep, you know?” Victor continued, his voice sounding more distant now. His footsteps were quieter, too, like he was being cautious and careful and gentle not to stir Yuri. “You have this look on your face, like you’re so at peace. It looks nice on you.”

Ah, his voice was warm. Yuri could hear it, it was full of love. Victor came off loud and abrasive, a bright and gleaming beacon of forced smiles and all the right words, but underneath he was a hopeless romantic. A gentle sappy romantic at heart, who just wanted to shower people with his love.

“When did I ever get so lucky with you?” Victor began, again, his voice coming in closer. Yuri’s heart decided now was the perfect time to start pounding in his chest. “I get to wake up to you every day and see that look on your face.”

Oh no, his heart was really beating now. He couldn’t keep this game up when Victor was pulling out all the romantic cards.

Victor paused and sucked in a breath.

“Ah, you fell asleep with your glasses on.” Yuri felt Victor reach out, brush the tips of his fingers through his hair, and slip his glasses off of his nose. He felt lips press against his temple, felt Victor’s lips curl into a smile.

“Rest well, my sleeping beauty.”­

On September 12, 2016 at 3:17pm my best friend, who, fortunately is also my blood related cousin, texted me and said, “When are you coming home from school. I miss you a shit load.” I replied at 3:20pm and said, “I’ll be home Columbus Day weekend and I’ll make sure I fit you in. I miss you a lot!” He replied at 3:21pm and said, “Love you kid.” Then, before I could even reply, I heard my mother’s shaky voice on the other end of the phone as she called me at 3:32pm. She explained to me that he had taken his own life. Within 8 minutes, my cousin who just told me he loved me commit suicide. He was so selfless that in the seconds leading up to his death, he didn’t want to hurt me, or make me worry so he just wanted to tell me he loved me before he left. This year has taught me more than 16 years of education ever could have taught me. First, be kind to every person you meet because they could be fighting an immense battle within their head that is naked to the human eye. Second, suicide doesn’t end pain, it simply passes the pain directly onto the people who love you. On Thanksgiving, I found my Grandfather in his garage gripping a stress ball literally crying as hard as I have ever seen anybody cry. I said, “I know it’s hard, but I love you more than words.” He said, “but why did he have to do this Alyssa? I said, "He was hurting, he needed to breathe just like we do, but he needed help breathing, so God helped him.” My grandmother put 18 seats at the dinner table today because she forgot that my cousin was no longer physically here. He sat next to me every single year. She simply got up and said, “oops, let me remove that seat,” as the tears started falling. I grabbed her hand right off of that seat and said, “nana.. I love you, he’s still here.” She kissed me on my cheek and told me I was right. My 9-year-old cousin asked me today where he was. I pointed to the sky. She said, “oh yeah mom said he was sick right?” I replied, “yes, sometimes somebody is sick, but not a cough or a stomach ache. They are sick, because they are very sad and they feel like nobody will really understand, but somebody who loves them will always understand. So, instead of Doctors healing them, God does. You need to promise me that if you ever feel very sad, you tell somebody who loves you right away, okay?” She hugged me and said, “I will only tell you because you love me the most.” Lastly, be grateful for every single second that you have a heartbeat. Life is the longest form of time that we have, but sometimes it is cut extremely short and without much reasoning. I can say that I am more than happy that 2016 is now in the past, but I didn’t hate it no matter how much pain it has brought me. I learned how to spread awareness on a topic that is avoided on an everyday basis. This year taught me how to fight with my entire being. It also taught me that everybody has pain, nobody’s pain beats somebody else’s, but we can help each other cope. It rebuilt my entire world from the ground up, and I couldn’t be anymore grateful than I am today.
—  Pain changes you in incredible ways