i wanted to see a picture of this and now i got one

for your own peace of mind, maybe dont pay too close attention to the lyrics of some christmas songs.

this is the christmas card im sending out. steve didnt know what text i was gonna put behind it when he drew the picture.

(You can get this on redbubble!)

and it turns out that clint, who has been humming christmas carols for weeks now, doesnt actually know any of the real lyrics, and has just been making them up as he goes along. this is his latest masterpiece:

Winter Soldier’s Gunnin’ You Down (To the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town)

You better watch out, you better not cry

You’ll probably bleed out, I’m tellin’ you why

Winter Soldier’s gunnin’ you down

He’s got a hit list, he’s starting a fight

He’s clenching his fist, it’s shiny and bright

Winter Soldier’s gunnin’ you down!

He sees you when you’re sleeping

He knows when you’re awake

His aim is really fucking good and he’s gonna assassinate

You better watch out, you better not cry

You’ll probably bleed out, I’m tellin’ you why

Winter Soldier’s gunnin’ you down

He’s yanking out wheels and firing guns

If you were smart you’d probably run

Winter Soldier’s gunning you down!

Winter Soldier’s gunning you down!

❄ ᶜʰʳᶦˢᵗᵐᵃˢ ˢᵗᵃʳᵗᵉʳˢ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵛᵃʳᶦᵒᵘˢ ˢʰᵒʷˢ ❄

christmas/holiday specific sentences from brooklyn nine nine, community, and 2 broke girls!  send one for my muses reaction. feel free to change gender, name, or anything that needs changing in order for it to make sense to have come from your muse.

I’ve gone years without a lump of coal. I’m not gonna start now. ❞
Hit him in his fat cherry cheeks! ❞
Boom! Just kicked Santa in the testicles. ❞
Under no circumstances do I want a present. ❞
I could take a picture of myself dressed up as an elf. Elfie-selfie! ❞
You see, those are the kind of things that you learn when you’re handcuffed together, and that is the true meaning of Christmas. ❞
I got it! You smiled! Christmas card complete. ❞
Oh, did you lift your “no gift” policy? ❞
Holy crap! I love this stuff! You know, technically, it’s just carbonated fudge. ❞
Your real present arrives tomorrow. ❞
It’s either that or go caroling with my family, so, yeah. I’d rather walk into the freezing ocean. ❞
Are you excited about going to town on Daddy’s nog? ❞
Christmas is cancelled. You ruined it. ❞
Christmas charades can get pretty competitive and it’s best not to have firearms around. ❞
We’re trapped, on Christmas, with a bunch of bad guys who are very likely German. This is my John McClane moment. ❞
No lies on Christmas. ❞
Thanks for agreeing to get in the spirit and do holiday cupcakes. ❞
Much better than last year when you got so drunk you turned the 12 days of Christmas into the 12 steps of Christmas. ❞
Christmas is like herpes, no matter what you do, it’s gonna flare up once a year. ❞
Hey, everybody! Holiday shopping tip: Fill a Starbucks cup with vodka. ❞
You know who’s having a blue Christmas this year? My balls. ❞
Bankers have more guilt at Christmastime because of It’s A Wonderful Life. ❞
I’m beginning to think if Grandma works for you, she didn’t get run over by that reindeer, she threw herself under a sleigh. ❞
For your Christmas gift, I’ll pretend I never heard that. ❞
I made you a little gift, because you’re like my new family. ❞
You realize there’s no way to take this than as a giant middle finger to the most important day of the year. ❞
This will be the only Christmas party I throw this year. ❞
Fake-murdering people is gonna be my new holiday tradition. ❞
I’m also a Christmas wizard. ❞
I’d like to put you into a state of Christmasnosis and take you on a magic journey. ❞
You all know how magic Christmas journeys work. ❞
I guess that means you’re gonna have me ejected for not loving Christmas enough. ❞
You’re trying to destroy Christmas because you blame your sadness on it. ❞
The delusion you’re trying to cure is called Christmas. ❞
The meaning of Christmas is the idea that Christmas has meaning, and it can mean whatever we want. ❞
Attempts to make the holidays brighter tend to give them a certain darkness. ❞
What’s a Christmas Eve? Is that Santa’s lady? ❞
Won’t you be my daddy? I’m a silly Christmas baby! ❞

She got me praying all hours of the night, say she want my heart, She pulling me to the river, drawing me with her siren's call, Done gave her my heart but now she wants my soul, Well I already sold it to the man in red, "Fell in love with your charm," but its a curse; cos am dead, Girl you're not who you say, bad girl they say you are Innocence isn't where am at, wear your crucifix bae Don't make me out all serious bonnie, slave to this bad religion, Unrequited love, praying at my shrine, cos I don't have a heart Like a dead man walking, I lay at your side, Make sure you're alright in my world, atleast that for you girl,

I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul

first date starters

Send me one to see how my muse reacts. Feel free to alter to fit muses.

  • “Would you like to come in for a nightcap?”
  • “I don’t sleep with someone on the first date.”
  • “I promise, I have a better track record than this.”
  • “I don’t normally do blind dates, but [name] spoke very highly of you!”
  • “This is my favorite place for first dates.”
  • “So – do you want to get together again sometime soon?”
  • “I’m not looking for anything serious.”
  • “I don’t want the night to end.”
  • “I think it’s best if we’re upfront about what we want right now.”
  • “Wow, you don’t look anything like your picture online.”
  • “It’s so great to finally meet you in person!”
  • “I should probably tell you that I just got out of a long-term relationship.”
  • “Want to come upstairs?”
  • “I can walk you home, if you like.”
  • “Walk me home?”
  • “Let’s go dancing!”
  • “Yeah, I don’t think we should do this again.”
  • “This was fun and all, but I don’t see us working out.”
  • “That movie sucked!”
  • “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”
  • “I was starting to think you’d stood me up.”
  • “I’m done screwing around. I want a real relationship.”
  • “It’s too early to call, but I have a good feeling about this.”
  • “Let me get the check.”
  • “Want to split the check?”
  • “It’s nothing personal, I just don’t think we fit.”
  • “This was the worst date of my life.”
  • “Don’t call me again.”
  • “Oh, God, my ex is here.”
  • “That wasn’t exactly how I imagined our first date going.”
  • “This was nice. Just a simple, sweet first date.”
  • “What, no good night kiss?”
  • “I don’t think I can date a Republican/Democrat.”
  • “It’s important to me that I date someone within the faith.”
  • “Want to play a game? Twenty Questions, or something?”
  • “Trust me – don’t want to go there.”
  • “We probably shouldn’t go there. My ex hangs out there sometimes and I think seeing them would kind of kill the mood.”
  • “I don’t date much, to be honest.”
  • “I hate to come on too strong, but I really, really like you.”
  • “Can I kiss you?”
  • “Why do you even like me? Is it the money?”
  • “Look, I gotta be honest – you were rude to the waiter, and that’s a serious turn-off.”
  • Whoa! That’s off-limits until, like, the tenth date.”
  • “Wow, you come on strong, don’t you?”
  • “I’m not making the greatest impression right now, am I?”
  • “Have you ever been here before?”
  • “I’ve never been here before!”
  • “I don’t normally meet up with people from Tinder/Grindr/OkCupid.”
  • “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
  • “That’s it! I’m leaving!”
  • “Hey! You’re on this date with me, remember?”
  • “I like you, but I think you’re hung up on your ex.”
  • “You haven’t let me get a word in edgewise all night!”
  • “Are you always this shy?”
  • “So, what do you do for a living?”
  • “Why did you even agree to go out with me?”
  • “I think I’m in love with you.”
Dialogue fic: More Than a Cinnabon

(picture originally posted here

“Hey Oliver?” 


“Where’s the Cinnabon?” 


“Well you kind of got me all excited and now I’m craving a Cinnabon.” 

“Felicity… I’m proposing to you.” 

“I can see that…” 



“And you’re not going to give me an answer because I didn’t bring you a Cinnabon?” 

“I’m hungry!” 


“Okay. I mean, of course I’ll marry you. But…” 

“But you still want a Cinnabon.” 

“The guy over there has one and now I can’t get it out of my head.” 


-10 minutes later-

“Here you go.”

“Thank you! I guess now would probably be a good time to give you my gift…” 

“Is this… Is this a pregnancy test?” 


“Are you… Are we going to…” 


“Oh my god!”

“I hope you were serious about that proposal… Cause for better or worse you’re going to be getting me a lot of Cinnabons in our future.” 

“Anything. For better or worse, I’m here. I just… I can’t believe I’m going to be a father.” 

“I really do love you, Oliver.” 

“Just not as much as you love Cinnabons?” 

“No… I love you more than a Cinnabon. It’s the baby that needs convincing.” 



This pretty boy and his sister (pictured on the right side of the bottom pic) are looking for a new home! The boy has got cool heterochromia (dual colored eyes) and the girl is a total cuddlebug sweetheart. They’re a couple months old now!

Their mama was a rescue stray after she was hit by a car and climbed into the undercarriage of my friend’s coworker’s car. They took the car to a shop to get mama kitty extracted, and it took a $700 surgery to save her life after the vet discovered her intestines had gotten pushed into her chest cavity AND she was pregnant. Some of the kittens survived it all, and these are the last two left!

If you’re interested in adopting one or both (it would be great if they could stay together), please feel free to send me an ask! They’re here in Michigan with me, but we can get them to nearby areas/states to the right person!

Today I am 28lbs lighter than I was in the picture on the left. It’s crazy how everything on your face suddenly starts to look bigger as you keep losing weight. I feel like my eyes got bigger, my lips and nose became more prominent, my dimples and eyelids got deeper, etc.

I want to keep continuing losing and being better and get to my goal. It’s only been 5 months since I started working out again and this is the progress that I’m seeing. Things don’t just happen over night, everything good in life takes time. This is one of the things that took time and effort. I know I just can’t expect to see results right away, but I also know that I’m getting there slowly. Everyday is a challenge and everyday is a struggle to see if I truly want that burger or pizza or hot cheetos, but I grow stronger everyday. I don’t want to give up on this. I’m already half way there. I want to see myself change and be better, and I know I will. I will do all those things. Stay strong. Patience is everything. 💪🏻

unknown number texts

send me one of the following on anon (or not!) for my muse’s reaction:

[text] I spy with my little eye someone who looks very good in that underwear…
[text] I know what you did last summer.
[text] Roses are red, violets are blue, you don’t know me, but I do know you.
[text] You think you’re safe now you’re tucked away under your blankets, but I can see you.
[text] I’ve got your keys.
[text] Don’t move, you look beautiful in these pictures I’m taking.
[text] I’m sorry if I left your kitchen in a state, I had to rush out when I saw you were home early… Don’t worry, I’ll be back tomorrow to clean it up.
[text] I’m sorry if I disturbed your sleep last night, I just really wanted to see you up close.
[text] How are you feeling? I might have put something in your toothpaste…
[text] Unless you want the whole internet to see you naked, you better do as I tell you.
[text] Don’t worry, your child/pet is safe with me…
[text] How are you doing today, dear? Isn’t it a wonderful day to die?
[text] Humans are such easy prey, don’t you think?
[text] R.I.P.
[text] You thought you had it badly as a child? Just wait until I get my hands on you.
[text] Are you ready to play?
[text] There’s something under your bed… Or should I say, someone?
[text] I’m your number one fan.

This picture is actually from yesterday…when I was planning to have a lazy day but only got fifty pages read. But, now I’m back from brunch with the family and it’s take two! And, with a rare second cup of coffee! I told my husband that I should probably take the tree down finally but I’m really enjoying it. He said, “Then leave it up as long as you want! Why not?” There is so much I love about that man. All the little and big things… 😍

One of the “happy asks” from yesterday that I got several times was “When do you feel most like yourself?” I would say the very truest me is anytime I’m here at home. My home is my sanctuary. My little family, my animals, they see me in every state, mood, and time and there is just acceptance, just love and peace and comfort. I can be alone with the husband and Conner. I have my own little space and I can be here and read and write or think and be alone even when they’re home, too. If you’re an introvert, you know how rare and absolutely amazing that is. My home is nothing spectacular as a physical space, but it’s my favorite place in the world. ❤

so @mothsbymoonlight‘s recent sketchdumps got me in a PT mood. warning, mushy rambling ahead.

so even though I just joined tumblr a few months ago, I’ve been aware of PTIMTH since… 2011? pretty soon after the first image of the couples was posted on DA. now, because of social anxiety/depression/whatever else, i was to shy to ever comment or interact, but I’ve followed the story ever since, checking up from time to time to see how the it was coming along. as a young wlw, it was so affirming to see people who wanted to tell these stories, and wanted to take the time necessary to tell them right. as the years have gone by, the stories have evolved to be more inclusive, and this has only made me love them even more.

sara may have changed a lot since PT first began, but she’s still one of my favorite characters, now more than ever. <3

  • Liam Neeson’s wife, actress Natasa Richardson, died in 2009 after a skiing accident. At the funeral for his wife. the press was there taking pictures of the sad occasion. Neeson saw this, stopped in front of them, and put on smile. He posed with his two sons, knowing that if the paps got the picture they wanted the family would be left alone. 
  • Martin Short’s wife, comedian and actress Nancy Dolman, died in her home after battling ovarian cancer in 2010. The press got wind of this news and took pictures of Short sitting on the front steps of his house as the ambulance took his wife’s body away. Short, understandably, looked shocked and devastated. 

I’m all for freedom of the press, but there are things the public does not have the right to see. I urge the press to leave Louis Tomlinson and his family alone right now as they cope with the loss of Louis’ mother, Johannah. For fans and press alike, PLEASE do not seek out any information on the funeral. 

Let this family say goodbye to her in private. Let them grieve in peace. Let them be.

A Friday Foster-themed Five

1. Juni’s CPS case got switched to a new worker because apparently the other one wasn’t doing stuff right? I don’t know. Now poor kid has another forensic to go to. New worker isn’t my favorite, mostly because they talked down to us the whole time they met with us and acted like they’re only doing stuff because they have to, not because they believe her.

2. Second week of no visit. I’m actually really surprised the bios haven’t contacted us at all to check on the kids. We told them they could call/text anytime and we’d be happy to send pictures, etc. But I feel strongly that they need to start communication first, because I want to see them making that effort.

3. We’re insane and asked our worker to put us back on the placement lists. M and I both feel like we’re supposed to, and I don’t think anything will come of it, but let no one say we aren’t following our gut.

4. Stupid foster parent training classes tomorrow, which means instead of getting a sitter and doing something wonderful we’re getting a sitter for three hours of classes that don’t actually matter because the material is terrible.

5. We have court in a couple of weeks. I don’t even know if I’m going to go because it’s only for bio dad and he’s only been to two court dates since the kids came into care…and one of those times was because he was in jail so they automatically brought him over. So he won’t show up, and they likely will just not do anything. Our worker hasn’t been able to get in touch with him to try and see if he’ll surrender yet and I just wish they’d go ahead and file TPR already so we can get it moving.

Bonus: We got permission to transition the kids’ names among friends and in non-legal situations and holy crap does Juni love her new name. M and I were both prepared to take it at her speed, see if she even liked the idea of switching, but when she heard it she was like YES THAT IS IT I LOVE IT. And now if we slip and call her by her birth name she tells us, “Tricky mommy, that is not my name!”

anonymous asked:

I read the caption and it's still fucked up. I don't pull out pictures of swatstikas and go lol fucked up how that use to happen but we can laugh about it now huh guys. No. no one wants to see racist art I can guarantee that. There is no good reason for you to be posting that. You are misinformed. I haven't made an assumptions. I know why you posted it and it's still wrong.

Then we’ll have to disagree. I’m happy to apologize, but I won’t take it down. (In fact, that’s the whole queue for today.) I post a host of offensively vintage images here for the express purpose of keeping alive how awful we used to be and still are. Plenty of the things I’ve posted have been misogynistic, used racist stereotypes (of African Americans, Asians, Native Americans, the Irish, you name it, and I’ve probably got an example), or treated the poor or misfortunate in some awful way. (I’ve got soma Nazi Christmas cards, too.) They are thoroughly offensive. And I’m gonna laugh and mock and ridicule that offensiveness as much as I can. It’s a huge part of holiday history, unfortunately, and I actually think it’s a good reminder of how we can be blind to those things even now. I understand that some people just want to erase that history and not see the artifacts, but I’m not one. I appreciate your viewpoint, but I don’t share it. I hope you’ll hang around, but I understand if you don’t.


I don’t normally do this photo stuff, but I couldn’t find it in myself to turn it down.

Got tagged by @askdrzedzworth

6 photo thingy. :P Man I’m not used to seeing my own face, so I did the best I could to make it interesting.

Low self-esteem here. ;3;

I’ll tag too then!





Uuuhh…damn that’s all I can think of rn.

If you really don’t want to that’s fine, no one’s forcing ya mates. ^^ Then again…but I spoiled you guys with this. Dun, dun, dun!

Photos (1-6):

1. my cat!!! this was taken at Christmas and we got her a ~special collar~ that we thought she’d hate but it turned out she loved it and wanted to wear it all the time? Here she is modelling and looking great. She doesn’t have an official name because we adopted her from our neighbours when they abandoned her but she responds to “kitty” or “girl.” 

2, me? i dye my hair a lot of different colours, and it’s pink right now so i thought i’d show you the pink. i’ve had every other colour possible aside from black and like bright red :}

3. there is no filter on this picture - it’s the sunset from my house. it definitely doesn’t look like that every day but sometimes we get really nice ones!

4. dkghkdsj i was in Sydney’s biggest bookstore and i went to the history section and lennox was in my head going ‘see if they have any scottish books’ and i was like ‘i literally am not buying any scottish books’ and he was like ‘cheap ass. but check it out anyway’ so i did and i took this photo because he made me.

5. LISTEN. right next to my school, there’s a crane that says ‘FRASERS’ on it? it glows at night and every time i pass it, i’d send tara a photo. it feels like a sign and a constant reminder.

6. my uni ???? this building is #ugly but it’s also #iconic in sydney.

anonymous asked:

Jack's dick is on Tumblr.

DUDE. I KNOW. This is what I gotta say about it.

I was very overwhelmed and excited about this, but then I remembered that Jack is a person with private parts and a private life that he probably doesn’t want spread online for everyone to see. Yes, I saw the picture and I didn’t hate looking at it. I’m not going to act all high and mighty like I didn’t look at it and enjoy it, but I also don’t want to be a part of sharing it. If my nudes got leaked (not that I have nudes, but if I did) I’d be super embarrassed and upset that a picture that was meant for one person is now seen by a whole lot of people. I can’t imagine how Jack is feeling since his is seen on a much larger and more popular scale. Maybe he doesn’t care, but I’m going to guess that he’s not fond of it. YouTubers (and celebrities in general) are already exploited way too much, and I think we should all do our individual parts in not making that exploitation any worse for Jack.

Not trying to preach or go off on you anon, lol, these were just the thoughts I had after my initial “omg I wanna see his dick” thoughts wore off, and thought this was a good place to share it xx

Say hello to my new desk! I moved about a week ago and have now unpacked all my stuff and settled in a bit. I also started a new project today!

I’m sculpting the cowplant from The Sims! The one from The Sims 4 to be specific, I love the design for him in this game, he somehow looks cuter? I’m a big fan of all The Sims games and I love the Sim eating cowplant, it has been on my “Want to sculpt” list for a very very long time and I finally got around to start working on it. I don’t know how long it will take me to complete it since I now have a full time job but it will be a fun thing to work on in my free time.

I hope you guys look forward to seeing work in progress pictures of this funny beast.

Kinda bad, huh?

           I’ve had bf. I want to delete every pictures about him in my head. It wasn’t that worst but what he did… It was pretty okay in start but in two weeks I saw so many problems. Some of that problems are that he was always talking about him and his problems, he didn’t ask me how am I? Or how my day gone? He just talked about himself. I don’t like that, so I tried to explain that to him. And I would say now that I didn’t see change but I did. Well you can’t change someone if that person don’t want to. In couple of days he get back in his mood “talking about myself always”. That was my reason to break up, but you know I felt guilty because maybe it’s not good reason. So I stayed with him.

            I waited for good one, and then that happened. One day I got call from my friend and he told me that he saw him with another boy. I’ve had been really pissed. I’ve waited to see him in person, for breaking up this shit of relationship. In between he told me how I’m too young to understand some things (yea, he was older but..), I hate that sentence because I doesn’t mean if I’m 18 that I cannot understand “that” things or whatever he meant by “some things”. And he made “Grindr” (All of you probably know what that is), and my friend (same one who told me for another boy) which have had grinder send me screenshot. (And I think any person which is in relationship shouldn’t have any app or be on any site!!!!)

Finally that live day is here, I came to his house. Everything was pretty funny. Why? Because I was thinking about giving him another chance if he look me in the eyes and tell my everything. Unfortunately for him and luckily for me he didn’t tell anything, so I picked up my things and got out from that house.

In few days, let me tell it was 2 or 3 he texted me how he  repent and how he want me to get back with him and he will change himself. It was too late, I just cannot get over it and I truly don’t want to and I decided to move on.

And guess what? I  have someone now, I hope this will be that what I was looking and waited  for or maybe I just know that is it  ^^  about that next time. xoxo

Believe me, if you don’t feel right in relationship first try to talk with that person and if it’s same after that - then you definitely should break up.

blue-karnage  asked:

Hey there, I thoroughly enjoy your fanfictions. Scattered pictures is fantastic.Just wondering with Goku and Chi Chi being eighteen when they had gohan I wanted to know if it was a planned pregnancy. May seem like a stupid question but I'm curious.

Thanks! It’s not a stupid question - it’s a good one, actually.

Wow, now you’ve got me thinking. Because generally, I’m following the manga with their past, only with real world moderations. So did they plan on having Gohan? I guess that depends what matches your headcanon.

Chi-Chi was already talking about having kids before they married, so I would think it was planned, but then given how old Gohan was at the beginning of DBZ after a 5yr gap, it happened within a few months of their marriage.

Seeing how quickly it happened and the way Goku goes about everything, I’d say it just sort of happened, but if it didn’t, they would’ve been working on having a baby anyways. Or maybe it WAS planned in Chi-Chi’s head and Goku just thought they were having fun. LOL.