i wanted to say so many things during the presentation but i completely blanked out


| Fluff | Comedy | Smut | Slight Angst | Nerd!Hoseok | Braces!Hoseok

word count: 5k

❝ An engineering prodigy and your resident college loser, Jung Hoseok coerces you into teaching him the ways of the dating world. 

trigger warnings: bullying, mentions of suicide

“I don’t understand why we had to come here first, why couldn’t we all head to the field and meet there?” Jungkook huffs before throwing himself down on your couch.

Jimin only grins at the younger boy before shoving him playfully, “Yah. Your noona wanted you to stop by it’s the least you could do.”

Jungkook glares at him ruefully before turning to Yoongi, “You got roped in too?”

“Would I ever be around you people of my own free will?” Yoongi grumbles, his arms crossed in a pout but it doesn’t fully reach his eyes when he’s met with Taehyung’s smiling face.

“I brought company! I hope she doesn’t mind.” He smiles, offering Namjoon a seat next to him, he’s only partially startled when Yoongi’s foot stretches out, successfully kicking the chair before the younger boy can steal a sit next to Taehyung.

“Trade seats, I’m sitting closer to these rodents than my designated three feet rule allows.” Yoongi mutters but Taehyung’s heart does weird flip flops in his chest.

“So why are we all here?” Namjoon queries.

“You are all here because I’m doing Hoseok’s official unveiling.” You grin excitedly, jogging out of your bedroom long enough to check if everyone’s present. You frown, “Where’s Nayeon?”

At the exact moment Nayeon comes running in, toting several shopping bags before nearly collapsing on the kitchen table, panting and sweaty.

“Sorry! I’m late! But I’m here… I got caught up at the mall.” She grins sheepishly.

You match her smile for all its worth and almost miss the slightly disgruntled expression Jungkook is sporting. You swallow a sigh but not before sending him a stern look and a promise of addressing the issue later. But for now… for now you had other things to deal with.

You shuffle around with your phone before finding the perfect song and set it on the table, next to your Bluetooth speaker.

“Why are we listening to Sixpence?” Yoongi frowns at your theatrics.

“Have you never watched She’s All That?” You scoff at Yoongi’s blank expression, “If you must know peasant I’m paying tribute to the most iconic makeover unveiling in movie history. Now shut up so he can make his entrance.”

It takes but all of one minute to quiet the groaning room with an angry glare but they can’t help it not when you were so… corny.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” you begin theatrically, a grin tugging at your lips, “I’d like to present to you the new, not improved but different—Jung Hoseok.”

A pregnant pause followed your declaration and everyone stared expectantly at your bedroom door, but lo and behold no Hoseok was in sight.

“Hoseok you punk there almost at the,” You tapped your foot expectantly, “…. chorus.”

You finish lamely but in your defense Hoseok had finally made his grand entrance from your room and despite having been in there with him for the better part of the day, his transformation was still shocking to you because who knew that underneath all that he was—

“Blonde.” Taehyung says dumbly.

“Hot.” Nayeon grins.

“A work of goddamn art.” You agree.

Hoseok fidgets under close scrutiny but it doesn’t take away from the overall presentation you had cooked up on a small budget. It wasn’t much and you hadn’t been expecting Hoseok of all people to be able to make a black t shirt and some light wash jeans look like it came off the cover of a goddamn GQ spread but it worked. A lot of it had to do with the fact that you managed to shove his fat head under a dad cap and tweeze those godforsaken eyebrows. He wouldn’t go as far as to let you fill them in but he was at last wearing a moisturizer today.

Baby steps, you reminded yourself.

“Not bad.” Jimin muses before turning to you, “It’s actually really not bad, Jesus Christ what are you a fucking magician?”

You take a grandiose bow before turning to the silent participants in the room, cocking a brow at them and reaping Hoseok’s praise as though it were your own.

“You look completely unrecognizable.” Yoongi says, muttering a curse when Taehyung shoulder bumps him, “It’s a good thing, okay?”

“So you look like this,” Namjoon began slowly, “underneath all that… gross… and you choose to hide it because?”

“You’re all a bunch fucking critics, aren’t you?” Hoseok seethes.

You roll your eyes at him before turning to Jimin, “Are we all set to go?”

“Nayeon’s changing and she’ll be out.” Jungkook says closing her bedroom room, and you raised a brow at that because you hadn’t realized he had followed Nayeon into her room.

You had so many questions.

All of which took a backseat to the current stud sitting next to you so you shrugged and began collecting your purse to leave.

“You’re glaring.” Yoongi notes lightly as he pushes you further down the bench room for himself.

You school your features but not well enough that Yoongi doesn’t pick up on the snarl you barely bite back. It only takes a moment under close scrutiny for you to be turning to take it out on the nearest victim—it just so happened to be Jungkook.

“Close your fucking legs, Jeon do you think you own the entire goddamn bench?” You growl, glancing at his legs that were spread so wide his thigh was tucked firmly against your own.

“What are you even doing in the dug out? Go sit with the rest of the crowd.” He rolls his eyes at your outburst but obliges, turning to talk to Jimin and ignore you.

“Is there a reason you’re so testy?” Yoongi queries, raising both hands when you pin him with a look, “Not that you need one. I’m all for bitching at unsuspecting victims.”

“I’m not bitchi—you know what, never mind.” You scowl and Yoongi scoffs.

“Is it because you’re boyfriends garnering so much unwarranted attention?” Yoongi hums, “Because if you didn’t want that to happen then you shouldn’t have done such a good job. Though even I wasn’t expecting that kind of transformation from him of all people, Jesus.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” You snap, arms crossed.

“Is that why you’re mad?” Yoongi sing-songs.

You open your mouth to let out a biting remark but the words get caught in your throat when the sixth girl today in the span of an hour, approaches Hoseok, sat perched in the bed of Jeon’s truck with Taehyung and Namjoon. You had been sitting there too but after the first three girls approached him, one even using you under the guise of friendship when you took like one class with her sophomore year, you had been out quicker than Ellen Degeneres during Pride.

You really should be over there coaching him, because all things considered, he was still a nincompoop when it came to girls – unable to look them in the eye or not stammer, unless of course the girl was you then he’d tell you to fuck right off and stop irritating him.


“I’m not mad,” you say, plastering on a fake smile and grateful for the sunglasses you had donned after his comment because at least he couldn’t see the the spiteful glare you were sporting.

And you ask yourself, not for the first time today why you’re feeling so… weird.

“Okay, I lied, I am mad.” You relent finally, “I’m mad because I did all of that and the brat still has the nerve to feel insecure as though he doesn’t look like the poster boy for orthodontists weekly.”

You said it through barely clenched teeth, praying you did a good enough job of not wearing your feelings on your forehead like an idiot. But if Yoongi noticed he either didn’t say anything or didn’t care enough to mention it. (It was more likely the latter).

“Speaking of which, here comes the cheese grater now.” Yoongi snickers at his own joke and true to his word a very flushed and frazzled Hoseok is making his way over to you.

You frown at his expression before asking the obvious.

“Are you okay?”

No. I’m not okay.” He hisses, before glancing down at Jungkook’s thigh which had found its way back to yours.

Why the hell wouldn’t he close his goddamn legs?

“What’s your deal?” You nod and watch as Hoseok exhales warily.

“Is this seat taken? No? Perfect!” He grimaces, shoving Jungkook’s legs closed before squeezing in between the two of you.

Jungkook glares at the older boy for a brief second before continuing his conversation with Jimin.

“I can’t do this.” Hoseok says harshly, pinning you with a scowl. Your reaction is delayed when you get caught up in his eyes, brows slashed down angrily and no longer playing the victim to a horribly overgrown fringe.

He had a really nice fucking forehead.

“D-do what?” You clear your throat, going to sip from your beer.

“This. Talking to them!” He says vehemently, gesturing to a pair of scantily clad girls leaning against the truck, he waves weakly at them when they brandish a grin in his direction. “I’m not a social person and they… are very forward?”

“Forward?” You squint your eyes at him with a frown.

“One of them grazed my dick when they put there hand on my thigh.” He hissed.

What?” You don’t realize your shouting until your lips already curled and Yoongi is cocking a brow at you. You clear your throat before averting your gaze, “I mean… that’s so rude?”

“Anyway, let me stay here,” he huffs out, “You’re really good at scaring people off.”

“Hey!” You cry out indignantly before narrowing your eyes at him, “No offense my guy but wasn’t that the whole point of this entire thing? Getting you laid? Those girls want you to fuck them. I can tell!”

“Okay that’s great but I’m nervous and I… I know as soon as I open my mouth it’s game over. They’ll ask me to eat their pussy and I’ll start nervously spewing out Overwatch facts.” He groans, “Besides! Aren’t you supposed to be helping me?”

“What the hell have I been doing the past two weeks? Twiddling my thumbs?” You whisper harshly, glancing over your shoulder to see if the boys had heard anything. But they all carry on obliviously save for Jungkook who hasn’t stopped glaring at you since you left the apartment.

“Look I’m just not ready for this yet,” Hoseok sighs, “I don’t think I have the confidence to really… talk to girls yet, much less go on a date or… fuck them. Is it okay if I just hang out with you for today?”

You pinch the bridge of your nose in exasperation but it’s no use feigning disappointment when a small voice in the back of your head is rejoicing at the prospect of having Hoseok to yourself.

Quit being weird, you chastise yourself.

“I won’t pressure you into anything you don’t want to do, you know that.” You sigh, “So if you want to sit here and drink cheap beer while listen to Jeon make fart jokes then by all means.”

Hoseok doesn’t say anything but he does visibly relax which is a good sign and for some reason you find yourself grasping at a conversation.

“So ugh,” you clear your throat, “how’s being a TA?”

Hoseok blinks at you as though he’s only just realized your talking to him before shrugging, “It’s fine I guess. I’m surrounded by idiots 24/7 but I at least get paid for it so I can’t complain.”

“And what you’re not surrounded by idiots when you hang out with us?” You snort.

“It’s different though,” Hoseok murmurs, nursing a beer. He squints his eyes thoughtfully, “Believe it or not I actually enjoy your guys’ company.”

“Well shit, I hope so – here I was thinking we were like friends and stuff.” You snort.

“Are we though?” He murmurs thoughtfully. “I mean, I’m not just inexperienced with girls. I’m sure it’s obvious but I don’t exactly draw in a lot of fans what with being you know, me and all.”

“Will you stop doing that?” You asked, suddenly annoyed at his self deprecating tone.

Hoseok jumps, startled by your outburst, “Doing what?”

“Being all like down on yourself and shit. It’s like pathetic,” you grumble defiantly, “You don’t need fans in life or people who’ll kiss your ass—you’re not an idol. Real people need real friends to make fun of them and like talk shit to them and stuff, you know?”

“Why are you always doing that?” He implores and you raise your gaze to his, only his expression isn’t one of defense, only pure curiosity lies in wait.

“The same reason you gave me that whole spiel about not giving up on life and shit.” You say, “Because friends talk shit to you and about you but they don’t kick you when you’re down and it really, really bugs me to hear you say stuff like that about yourself, yeah? Leave that to me.”

Hoseok stares at you for a beat too long, taking in the angry slant of your eyebrows and the way your lips purse in respite.

Hoseok’s cheeks burn red hot, tears pricking at his eyes and despite how they beg to be freed from their confines, to run wet tracks down his cheeks he doesn’t let them. His lips purse in an attempt to choke back a sob and he stares down at the linoleum weakly.

“What are you waiting for? Pick them up.” Someone snickers behind him.

He blinks down at his hands questioningly, because what was the point? The hallway seemed to be cloaked in a silence that screamed at him, despite the many people crowding the space.

His books lay scattered around him, and his chest hurt with an agony he was all too familiar with, the sheer overwhelming pity he felt for himself was almost debilitating. He cleared his throat to cover a sniffle, another weak attempt at biting back tears before he’s moving to collect his belongings.

He’s barely on his feet again before they’re being knocked out of his hands with too much force.

A crowd was forming now, and he closes his eyes to try and block out the whispers, the looks of pity because despite how bad everyone felt no one was willing to help. No one ever helped. It was all the same to them, he was there for their entertainment.

And not for the first time, he wondered why.

Why he kept trying. Why he didn’t end it all when he would lay awake at night with a sadness that brought him to his knees. Why he was deemed so unworthy of kindness by people that barely knew him. Why he pushed through when he knew nothing but bruises that pierced deeper than skin and a crippling sadness that only his shower walls would ever hear.

Why, why, why, why me?

“Stop it!”

Hoseok is too dazed, too caught up with disgust and the need to shed his skin, to vomit a sickness that knew no cure.

His heart hurt.

“I said stop!”

When he looks up again it’s you, the girl from the locker the other day and you’re… crying.

Your eyes are bloodshot and your chest is heaving. He wants to know why. He wants to tell you you’re too pretty, even blubbering, lips quivering. You’re too pretty to cry, too pretty to be on your knees, but he’s overwhelmed. By everything, by the silent on lookers, by the almost painful embarrassment.

He barely realizes you’re shoving books back into his bag for him, before you swipe at your nose and drag him along by the wrist. He doesn’t have the mind to ask questions until you’re out in the courtyard, it’s the middle of classes so it’s empty, save for a few stray butterflies that linger.

His feet hesitate by the fountain and you stumble by the sudden halt, turning to face him inquisitively.

“Why are you always doing that?” He whispers, jerking his hand back from yours.

“D-doing what?” You stammer.

“That. Back there.” He says, jaw clenching, “Why do you keep helping me? Why do you care?”

“Because I’m human,” you say indignantly, “and so are you – not a dog to be made to sit and roll over why don’t you act like it?”

“You think I haven’t tried?” His lip curls in disgust, “What would you know anyway, you’re just some stupid cheerleader, you’re just like the rest of them.”

“Really? Because I didn’t see the rest of them stepping into help you!”

“I didn’t ask for your help!” He yells back.

“You didn’t have to!” You say over him, and tears are rolling down freely, “I helped you because it hurt to see you like that! Maybe everyone else can look away but I can’t! Tell the principle, tell your parents, fuck tell anyone! But don’t… don’t take that.”

And just like that your lip is quivering again, only he doesn’t get a chance to see the tears fall this time because you’re storming off, leaving him there to stare after you.

Hoseok blinks himself back to consciousness when he catches sight of your fingers snapping a hairsbreadth from his face, trying to garner his attention.

“Don’t look now but more of your admirers are headed over.” You say quietly and Hoseok visibly stiffens.

“What do I do?” He whispers harshly.

You bite your lip in concentration, debating the consequences of your action before finally relenting when they neared the dug out. You were a flurry of motion that Hoseok’s sluggish, intoxicated brain couldn’t keep up with – but suddenly you were dropping yourself into his lap, his legs spreading on instinct, you grip his frozen arms until they wrapped around you begrudgingly.

“What are you doing?” He hisses.

“Getting those girls off your back,” you scoff, but you have to crane your neck back to speak to him and he suddenly realizes just how pretty your throat is—why could he never tell before now?

“Hey Hoseok,” one of the girls begins timidly, trying to catch a glimpse of him from in back of your body.

“Uh…. hey hi,” he clears his throat.

“You just left us over there with your friends.” The shorter girl pouts and you roll your eyes.

“Yeah sorry I—”

“He’s kind of busy.” You say brightly, leaning back until your back was pressed to his chest, Hoseok grunts over the unexpected weight. “Did you need something?”

“Oh I… sunbae… sorry,” the tall brunette clears her throat as though she’s just noticed that your sitting dead center on top of Hoseok. You frown when you recognize her from one of your economics courses, “I didn’t realize you… and he… were—”

“For tonight we are.” You shrug, gesturing towards Namjoon, deciding to throw him a bone, “but that guys free over there, I hear he drives a Range Rover, you should chat him up.”

The brunette smiles brightly, if a little bit nervously at you but grips the shorter girls arm, dragging her along but not before she withers you with a narrowed glare. You cock a brow at her audacity before she’s turning around with a huff.

Sunbae?” Hoseok queries from behind you, and you barely conceal a shiver when you feel how closely he’s speaking to your ear, his breath smells like beer but when you try to pull back his grip tightens around you.

“Yeah,” you say indignantly, “I know I’m not shit in the science world but I’m in a league of my own in my major.”

“I can see that being true,” he nods, lips turning down, “You’re good at what you do. Just look at how you made me over.”

You try to ignore the fact that his arms are still glued to your waist, hands going to clasp just over your mid section, but it’s hard and he smells so good.

“I had a good base to work with,” you hum, going to sip at your beer and feigning nonchalant.

“Is that a compliment from the ice queen herself?” Hoseok snorts, hooking his chin over your shoulder and your thankful not for the first time that he can’t see your reaction.

“Not a compliment. Just the truth.” You murmur, “Your friends are long gone you know, there’s no need for me to sit here anymore.”

“Mm,” he hums, “so get off then.”

You don’t say anything, just take another sip of your beer, but Hoseok hears your answer loud and clear.

“For someone who’s nervous with girls you sure do seem to feel awfully comfortable with me.” You chastise, watching the field carefully when Nayeon makes an appearances.

“It’s because I know I don’t have a shot,” he shrugs impishly and you know he’s smirking even without looking at him, “It makes it a lot less scary when you have nothing to lose going in.”

“Who says you didn’t have a shot?” You ask, but it’s followed by a startled yelp when a cheer erupts from the bleachers, a bunch of drunk frat guys parading onto the field naked and covered in paint.

“The universe.” He snorts.

“You underestimate yourself.” You note.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” He queries, a hesitant hand going to rest on your thigh. He doesn’t know where the burst of confidence came from. Maybe it’s from the beer, maybe it’s from the new clothes, or maybe it’s from the way your stares seem to linger these days—whatever it is you don’t reject his touch either way.

“Exactly what it sounds li—”

“Hey lard ass,” someone calls from above you and you turn your head to glare at Jeon Jungkook, “Nayeon scored the winning point, we’re all heading to the bar are you coming or what?”

“I’m coming, you insufferable little brat.” You hiss.

Jungkook stands there when you don’t move right away, you raise an eyebrow at him.

“What?” You scowl.

“Is that the only seat?” He queries, lip curling, “Is it proper for you to be like that?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“What would your parents say if they saw you sitting like that, huh?” He asks, eyes wide as he gestures to your seat on Hoseok’s lap.

Your face flushes deep before you stand up and glare at him, “Are you really scolding me on propriety? You of all people.”

“Yes and so what?” He says, chest puffing or indignantly. He takes a cautious step back before pointing an accusing finger at you, “And sit with your legs closed!”

He ducks when you go to hit him, sticking his tongue out before he races clear across the field and out of your violent reach.

“One more round!” Jimin shouts, shoving a shot glass in your hand.

You lift your head from the table long enough to flick Jimin off, all he does is grin while you groan and lay your head on Nayeon’s shoulder.

“Rock, paper, scissors over who gets to kill him.” You say to Nayeon.

She points a drunken finger at your face, “we… can’t… kill him ’s illegal.”

“It’s self defense. We have to kill him before he tries to poison us—alcohol poison us!” You shout desperately.

“You guys are all pussies!” Jungkook yells, ever the bravado drunk. Hoseok barely keeps him in his seat, halting him from clambering onto the table top, to make what you were assuming he thought was a profound speech—for the umpteenth time that night.

“Hyung,” Jungkook slurs, clapping a hand on Yoongi’s shoulder, “I once finished a twelve pack of beer in one sitting and that was, before the Hoover game, I even broke the QB record at our school that day.”

“Was anyone there to see it?” Namjoon asks, sipping at what had to be the girliest drink you’ve ever seen in your entire life—it was fuschia and he was sipping it through one of those skinny black straws.

Fucking weirdo.

“No, it was just me but I swear it happened!” Jungkook yelled vehemently.

“Dude,” Namjoon sighs, “in life, whatever you do, it doesn’t count if your friends aren’t there to witness it.”

“I second that.” Jimin says, raising another shot glass to his lips. It pisses you off how sober he still is when he drank twice as much as you.

“Why aren’t you fucking drunk?” You scowl.

“On the contrary I’m very much fucked,” he says, “I’m what the people call… a functioning alcoholic.”

“Let’s play another game!” Taehyung whines from his spot.

“Let’s fucking not because you’re all a bunch of dirty cheaters!” You hiss, gesturing to the table.

“You’re just saying that because you lost every single time.” Namjoon rolls his eyes, “I even won once.”

“I won a game too.” Taehyung pipes up.

“Me too.” Hoseok shrugs.

“Great,” Yoongi mutters from the inside of the booth, “You’ve each won a game and I’ve lost what feels like a year off my life spending time with you people—we’re all going home winners tonight.”

“I want a recount!” You say.

“There’s no recount in Most Likely.” Jimin points out. “If we find you most likely to do something we point at you, the person with the most fingers pointed at them has to drink.”

“Yes, and every single time you threw out a sentence I had to drink—does it make sense that I would be most likely to do all of the things that were named?” You growl.

“One of them was most likely to win in a cage fight amongst the eight of us, so yes it does make sense.” Yoongi snickers.

“I have a better propositions you limp noodles.” Jungkook says from his spot and all seven of you turn your attention to the drunken boy, “Body shots.”

“There’s two girls and six guys.” Hoseok snorts, “Don’t you think the ratios a bit uneven.”

“Okay shut the fuck up with your math lingo first of all—”

“Ratio isn’t just a math word, dumbass.”

“—second of all two of the six are gay so they don’t count.”

“What makes you think I want to do a body shot off of any of you animals?” Yoongi sneers.

“Because who the fuck wouldn’t want to do a body shot off these smokin’ abs?” Jungkook scoffs.

“I’m in.” You say suddenly, garnering six wide eyed looks.

“Are you serious?” Nayeon giggles, “You queen of ball busting are gonna let one of these morons do a shot off you?”

“It’s all in good fun, right?” You say, catching Hoseok’s eye before turning back to her.

“If you do it then I’ll do it too.” She grins.

“Well I’m out,” Yoongi grunts, “you vagina baring cretins can have at it.”

“Me too.” Taehyung shrugs before sending an apologetic look that you and Nayeon both wave off, “Not my cup of tea.”

“Not your cup of tea or not your cup of genitalia?” Jimin snickers, earning a flush Taehyung. “You all know my answer – I never mind an extra chance to get my lips—”

Disgusting.” You cut him off.

“As much as I would love to lick any part of anyone’s body right now, I gotta run.” Namjoon sighs, before brandishing a notification on his phone, “Duty calls.”

“Are you gonna be okay to drive?” You frown.

“Dude I’ve been sipping cosmopolitans since we got here, I’m pretty sure I’d pass every sobriety test ever.” He rolls his eyes before waving his goodbye.

“And then there were three.” Jungkook says, clapping his hands together, “That is assuming your game?”

His question was directed at Hoseok who seemed to be staring off into space unknowingly. The older boy clears his throat and meets Jungkook’s challenging stare—it annoys him for some reason, and has him sitting up straighter with a curt nod.

“Great,” Jimin says, breaking the tense atmosphere, “Since there’s three of us and two of them, rock, paper, scissors.”

You watch on in silent amusement as they go through three rounds of the game, each boy eyeing the other with a competitive glare, it isn’t until the third game when Jimin’s eliminated that Hoseok meets your eyes.

You take a long gulp of beer to try and hide the flush burning bright on the apples of your cheeks, only hesitating a little when Nayeon drags you to your feet.

“Where do you want it Jeon?” Jimin asks when he comes back baring a tray, brandishing small ramekin of salt, two shots and lime wedges. He’s standing in front of Nayeon when he’s asks the question.

“I’ll do it.” He says, rising to unsteady feet when he grabs the ramekin from Jimin—

And heads straight to you.

You stare at him wide eyed when he goes to drag a finger through the salt, “What are you doing?”

“My body shot.” He shrugs, before sprinkling the salt all down the front of the v in your t shirt. You can’t even glare at him because you were still trying to catch up with his thought process.

“So go do it over there.” You hiss, letting out a small yelp when he plops a lime in your mouth to shut you up.

“Maybe I want something different.” He says, breath fanning over your face due to his close proximity.

You clench your jaw but frown when a little of the lime juice dribbles into your mouth down your chin. You chance a glance at Hoseok but the older boy looks well engrossed in his preparations, allowing Jimin the honors of setting Nayeon up for him while he rubs a hand over his neck awkwardly.

A finger on your chin has you returning your gaze back to Jungkook who’s looking at you with a glint in his eye you weren’t entirely comfortable with.

Your comfortability takes a backseat when the audacious brat goes to shove his shot glass between your breasts, a small smirk quirking at the sides of his lip.

“Ready?” Jimin calls, before patting a hand on either boys shoulder, “Remember this is race – the partner of the loser has to take a penalty shot. Got it?”

Both of them nod and Jungkook tongues at his cheek cockily, making you roll your eyes. You drag one last look at Nayeon and Hoseok who seem to be in their own little world, deep in conversation.

What the hell were they even talking about anyway?

“On your marks. Get set,” Jimin begins, “Go.”

Jungkook’s hand find purchase on your waist and your attention is drawn back to the boy in front of you, his head dips to press a lascivious if unnecessary kiss to your right breast before his tongue is swiping over the sensitive skin, your tummy dips at the sensations. But then his lips are roaming down your cleavage before his mouth is working on sucking back the shot glass and finally he’s setting it down with less haste than someone in a competition should be allowed. Two wide palms come up to cup your face while his lips find yours in a sour kiss, the lime wedge between your teeth drops when your jaw goes slack and Jungkook is swiping up the juice at the corner of your lips with his tongue.

Time seems to slow with his mouth on you like this and you find yourself kissing him back, forgetting for the briefest moment who he was, who you were and where the hell you were at. All that mattered was the way his belly seemed to clench under your hesitant hands and his mouth worked over yours.

But all too soon it was coming to an end and when you pull back Jugkook is panting and Jimin is grinning at the both of you.

“What an unexpected turn of events,” he snickers, but you don’t have half a mind to insult him. Instead you’re still blinking at Junkook who licks at his lips like he’s trying to preserve the taste of you there.

Jimin rolls his eyes, “Alright love birds, as wonderful as that show was, you lost – so take your shot like a big girl.”

His words bring you back to focus and your gaze shoots back to Hoseok, only his features are schooled in a composed mask and he’s carrying on a conversation with Taehyung as though nothing out of the ordinary just happened. As though you made out with Jeon Jungkook on a regular fucking basis.

Jimin shoves at your shoulder when you don’t respond right away and you stare down at the shot glass for a moment before someone else is grabbing it out of his hand. Your eyes lift to Jungkook and the way the column of his throat works when he throws it back, not even wincing from the burn of tequila.

He sniffs before swiping at his lower lip, “’s my fault we lost anyway.”

Jimin cocks a brow between the two of you, “Jeon Jungkook taking a penalty shot for someone else? This is a first.”

“Fuck off.” He rolls his eyes before he gathers his car keys and phone, “I have two a days tomorrow so I gotta be heading out before coach rips me a new one for showing up hung over again.”

He’s already to turning to leave when your hand shoots out to grip his wrist (without out your fucking consent.) Jungkook raises an eyebrow at the limb before you’re letting go, swiping your hands down your jeans nervously.

“I… uhh… you,” you shake your head, “Are you gonna be okay to drive?”

“Are you worried?” He grins.

You scoff at that, “No but it’d be mighty inconvenient to have to plan your funeral during mid terms.”

“I’ll be fine, Princess.” He tsks and for the first time in…. well ever, you find Jeon Jungkook attractive in a way that might just be worthy of contracting a minor STI.

Hoseok watches the entire exchange from his post in the booth, and for some reason a feeling of unease is clawing at his stomach.

He hadn’t anticipated Jungkook doing a body shot off you because well why would he? But the more Hoseok thought about it was more like – why the hell wouldn’t he?

You were gorgeous and you had a body that men would kill for the chance to worship, and it only set you that much further from himself. Paranoia and self doubt find their way back into his brain, where they’ve made a home for themselves, reminding Hoseok to take heed, remember his place, always remember where he stood with you. It was only made worst by the look that Jungkook sends you when he rubs an apologetic hand over your hipbone before bidding you adieu.

The action nags at Hoseok more than should and he finds himself shooting to unsteady feet before his mind has caught up with him. You yelp at the sudden action and catch him before he goes tumbling off the platform the booth is sat a top.

“Alright there, big guy?” You grin, holding him steady, and you pat a patronizing hand over his belly, “Let’s get some food in you and get you home, yeah?”

“I don’t need any fucking food,” he scoffs, annoyed by your sudden caring behavior.

Is that all you saw him as? As someone who needed to be looked after, cared for, handled with kid gloves? Did you not see him as a man, because fuck… fuck if it didn’t feel like it sometimes. When your touches or your glanced would linger he was able to delude himself into thinking that maybe you had wanted him too—when you were at the field and in his lap he thought that maybe… maybe there was something there but—

Leave it to him to read to deep into something that meant nothing to you. In fact, the thought itself angered him, had him flushing with embarrassment.

“I don’t need to fucking go home and especially not with the likes of you.” He sneered, breaking out of your grip irritably.

You call out to him but he’s already made it across the bar, storming off angrily. To his credit he makes it exactly two feet from you before he’s collapsing, the evidence of his low tolerance catching up to him, making his legs wobble unsteadily and the room spin before his eyes.

The last thing he sees is you rushing to his side before everything’s going black and he falls into a deep sleep.

There’s a pounding in his head that just won’t seem to stop, and Hoseok probably could have done without the sour taste on his tongue, every inch of his body is screaming at him to go back to sleep but he’s already penetrated the first barrier and all dredges of slumber leave him, instead nausea and indigestion take its place.

Hoseok rubs at his eyes with the back of his hands, trying to discern his current location, but alas they’re all failed attempts when he realizes the room is pitch black.

He’s just about to get up and investigate when a sliver of light breaks through a crack in the door and your silhouette appears before him.

“Morning sunshine,” you whisper, and he can barely make you out but he can tell that you’ve changed into pajamas and if he squints just enough he can see pink tinged cheeks on a freshly scrubbed face.

“What time is it?” He croaks, annoyed at the revelation that all liquor from earlier has yet to leave his body, courtesy of the woozy feeling in his stomach.

“It’s four am,” you explain, “you weren’t asleep very long but you blacked out at the bar and I told Jimin to just take us here. He’s crashed out on the couch with Taehyung.”

“Oh,” he says before trying to stand, wincing when a wave of vertigo knocks him back on his ass.

“Chill out dude.” You say before diving into the confines of your bed, your body relaxing against the cool duvet.

“I’ll just… I’ll show myself out,” he clears his throat. He hesitates when your grip on his t shirt yanks him back down to your mattress.

“Don’t try and be a martyr tonight, will you?” You sigh, “Just relax.”

How the hell did you expect him to relax when he was laying next to you? Smelling like heaven and looking like sin. Your sleep shorts did little to hide the plump curve of your ass, and your tank top was so low he could make out the beginnings of a hickey—reminding him why he had stormed off in the first place.

Jeon fucking Jungkook.

“What part of relax is lost on you?” You ask, turning on your side to face him, and alternatively giving him a better view of your cleavage. “Never had a co-ed sleepover before?”

“Do I look like I’ve had a co-ed sleepover before?” He snorts.

“Here we go again,” you sigh, looking up at him from under your lashes, “Do you mind telling me why you’re always so down on yourself?”

“You mean other than the obvious?” He scoffs.

“I’m serious I mean, you’re in the top 1% of the country, you’re about to be rich if you think about the fact that you’ll succeed in whatever field you’re about to pursue and now Hoseok, you’re hot.” You say and he tries to ignore the way his cheeks flush at your compliment. “Even when you dressed the way you did before you were still handsome I just don’t see why—”

“Why what? Why I have such a low fucking self esteem?” He snaps, before rising to his elbows to glare at you, “Why are you always pushing this why can’t you ever mind your own business?”

“Because you are my business. We’re friends and—”

You said we were friends, I never agreed to any of it.” He grits out and he doesn’t miss the flash of hurt that crosses your features, even in the dim light of your bedroom.

You stare at him for a beat before letting out an annoyed huff and turning on your side, actively blocking him out. Hoseok sighs before carding a hand through his hair, frustrated.

“___.. I… Didn’t mean that I—”

“Of course you did.” You laugh bitterly, “Because no matter how much I think we’re progressing you’re always there to remind me that this is just a debt owed. That every time you spend time with me is purely obligatory with only your end goal in sight.”

“Well why the hell would you want to hang out with me otherwise?” He scowls, “It doesn’t make sense.”

“It doesn’t have to make sense. But don’t worry because I heard your message loud and clear: I won’t bother you unless it’s related to getting you laid.”

“____,” he groans, “that’s not what I meant!”

You turn back to face him, angrily, eyebrows slashed down in a frown as you glared at him. Even then you still looked beautiful, like a really pissed of fairy laying next to him with the moonlight draping over your fine features.

“I’m going to sleep.” You say, shutting your eyes.

Hoseok rubs at the back of his neck, wondering how he managed to wind up in this position – with you, always with you. And for someone so smart, he didn’t understand anything these days, you had a special way of efficiently fucking him up, confusing him until he was grasping at strings for reason.

The silence in the room was deafening, the only thing keeping him from slipping out was the way you seemed to be pouting, even with your eyes closed and it was so fucking endearing to him. It had his drunken mind reaching to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear—the move was so intimate and uncalled for even to him, so he wasn’t all that surprised when your eyes shot open at the gentle caress.

Hoseok clears his throat, looking for something, anything to say when his hand is frozen in mid-air.

“My parents,” he blurts out.

“Huh?” You whisper with a frown.

“They’re really ,,, demanding,” he explains and when he starts he can’t seem to stop, “you know how you said they’re assholes? Well they’re worst than that, asshole is too nice a word to describe them. They’re really unfeeling, cold, clinical with everything—including their kids.”

“Oh.” You say.

Because really what could you say?

“Yeah oh,” he agrees, “I don’t mind being an engineer, I like it, I like math and science and I like making robots but even that… it bothers them. There’s no time for recreational things, for fun. It’s all about work to them.”

“You build robots?” You implore.

“I find time for it.” He shrugs, “it relaxes me, a lot like dancing but I don’t really have time for either these days.”

Your hand finds his way to his cheek and he lets you soothe over the skin there, acting as though the alcohol is urging on both of your actions. His hand goes up to catch yours, but he leaves it there.

And you both pretend. For now.

“Will you ever let me watch you dance?” You hum, smoothing one of his sideburns gently, and Hoseok lets his eyes flutter shut, “You’ve piqued my interest and now I just feel like you’re doing it on purpose—leaving me waiting with bated breath.”

He chuckles but it’s short lived and suddenly he staring at your lips. “I’ve been too busy for anything that’s not work or school related. I haven’t found anytime to go the studio.”

“Let me tag along when you go,” you yawn, letting Hoseok’s fingers lace with your own.

“I will.” He replies.

“Promise?” You query, but you’re fighting sleep, your eyes are heavy and begging for you to give in to the temptation of a good eight hours of rest.

You never do hear a reply because you’re already dead asleep in a matter of seconds.

Hoseok stares at your sleeping figure for longer than is necessary, taking in the silent rise and fall of your chest, to the soft skin of your cheeks. He waits a beat before letting his finger catch on your lower lip, to swipe there. So lush and full and bruised red with your natural tint.

How is anyone this pretty when they sleep?

It’s but a moment before your own hand is going up to grip his wrist and he freezes with the realization that you’re doing it to keep it there instead of push him away. A sigh leaves him as he watched the way your lashes are fanned down against your cheeks.

So beautiful it hurts.

“You’re too good for me,” he says, but he knows I falls on deaf ears, “in more ways than one. You always were too good for me, even back then. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

He stares at you longingly, checking to make sure if your breathing is still even, to see if he should date carry on. He makes the decision with a small smile when a soft snore leaves you.

“Back then you felt like an angel—it’s corny, right?” He whispers, his hand going to push the hair back from your face, “but you were the only good thing I had going for me. Even now, none of this feels real. I hope you’ll forgive me when you find out the truth, I won’t try and keep it from you. I hope you understand that I needed to be with you like this, even just once.”

A mumble of words slip past your lips and Hoseok is frozen stiff by the thought that you might have heard his confession, but you don’t say anything in reply only continue to mutter on about a toaster before you shuffled closer to him and shoved your hands up his shirt.

Hoseok cringed when he felt your frozen skin press against his own and he gently tugs them out from underneath his t shirt before he’s warming them with his own, coaxing you back down from the surface and into a deeper state of sleep. He lets you curl into him, even if he knows it’s only for his body heat, he would take whatever he could get.

Obligatory cuddling was still cuddling after all.

a/n: this chapter was really hard to write for me. i know i mentioned being bullied growing up but a lot of the feelings expressed are things that ive dealt with the loneliness/desperation and i hope if any of u feel like that u feel comfortable enough to talk to me about. that’s all ok ❤️

Seventeen’s reaction to find a photo of you with your ex girlfriend

Seungcheol / S.Coups 

The moment he finds the photo remains slightly perplexed. At first, he doesn’t recognize you, you’ve changed a lot, but when he understands that you’re the one kissing the other girl, he has a total vacuum. He looks the photo for a few moments and tries to understand why you didn’t confess that relationship. So when you two hang out that evening, he rests the photo in front of you with a quiet look. He’s not angry or anything, he’s just curious to know your past.

“Where did you find it..?" 

"Among your things, I didn’t want to peek but I was looking for my headphones.”

And with a sigh, you begin to tell him everything, but after you have finished telling him he smiles gently and takes your hand into his. 

“Nothing changes, I love you even more than before.”


I think he’s totally upset. Perhaps more for the surprise than for the photo in itself. He’s doing your thing when from one of your notebook falls a photo and he takes it immediately. He doesn’t think of looking at it but his gaze falls on the two girls hugged with a sweet smile.
Your sweet look and those dimples are unmistakeable for him and in a second the shock takes possession of him, who sits on the couch and starts rubbing the photo between his fingers. He doesn’t care about your sexuality, he just feels a little bit apart for not knowing.
Immediately he sends you a message and reading it you feel obliged to call him and explain him in voice. 

“Jeonghan.. Is it a problem?? ” That’s your biggest fear, it’s for that reason you haven’t told him yet. 

“The thought of you kissing another girl is strange, but honestly I don’t see anything wrong. I’m just sorry I knew now, that’s all. ”

Jisoo / Joshua

I think Jisoo would be incredibly fought. We all know how much he’s related to the concept of family and religion in itself. However, he loves you and I believe that anyway the love that feels to you would surpass any doubt or confusion that it could create in him.
You’re talking about a movie you’d like to see when he gets back in the room, with the photo into his hands. You immediately recognize the two subjects and you sit better on the bed, observing his expression completely blank. He begins to walk back and forth, feeling the confusion reigning in his mind. 


"Did she love you??”
You nod lightly and a little smile is painted onto his thin lips, while he sits next to you and wraps an arm around your shoulders. 


“If you were happy, that’s all I really care about." 

The fact that was a girl to make you happy doesn’t touch him personally, the only thing that matters to him is that there was love in your previous relationship.

Junhui / Jun 

I’m of the idea that Junhui wouldn’t care about your sexuality. Of course, at first he would be upset, take aback but after a few moments, the question in his head is "So? I don’t think it’s changing my life. ”
And that’s why he doesn’t even say anything to you, but he’s pretending nothing. I think h would be one of the first to decide to be silent because he wants you to feel comfortable enough to talk about something so important.
So when, after almost two months, you’re sitting on the couch watching a movie and you start telling him about the person you were with before him, Junhui simply asks “Girls or boys? I mean.. Who’s the best kisser??”. 

You’re shocked by his sentence because you hadn’t specified the sex of your ex, but he smiles gently and starts to bit gently your sweet bottom lip, making you then lay on the couch and overtopping you immediately. 

“I think I’m the best kisser, what do you say?" 

"I say you’re a pervert, Wen Junhui.”

Soonyoung / Hoshi 

A small ray of sunshine, so much so that when one of his friends sends him a picture of you with a girl, where you are kissing, he calls him and asks him quietly not to meddle in business that doesn’t concern him. He sends to you the photo and the caption simply read “You are Beautiful”.

As soon as you see his message your heart loses a beat and you come out the rehearsal room, where you were helping Junhui to translate some things into Korean. You enter with concern into the room and look at him, or rather look at his reflection in the mirror but he immediately sees you and runs to you. He brushes your lips with his, without stopping to smile for a second.

“It doesn’t bother you..?”

“You’re bisexual, you were happy in that picture, what should be my problem??" 

Without adding more he hugs you forcefully and hides his face against your neck, savoring your scent and feeling really at home. He would be one of the quietest and at ease with your sexuality because he doesn’t think that it defines the fantastic person you are.


Due to his calm and quietness, sometimes you also think that he doesn’t feel many emotions, he doesn’t take this "news” in a shocking way. Indeed, I think he would be the most curious even if he couldn’t ask many questions, precisely because of his fairly outgoing and closed character. 

You invited him to take a coffee to talk to him because you finally decided to tell him about that particular of your life, but when you sit down and take a breath to talk he simply shakes his head and grips your hand. 


“I already know it.“

Those words aren’t seasoned with malice or disappointment, but it’s his usual tone, indeed that smile that has won you at the beginning is presented on his lips and you simply will be facing him, starting to kiss him gently. 


"I only have an hour to be with you, do you really want to waste time talking?”

Jihoon / Woozi 

Jihoon seems pretty serious about certain things, maybe far too much. And the thing that would really disappoint him is the fact that you didn’t tell him right away. He doesn’t care about the fact that it was a girl, but of your having not “confessed” to the beginning. The anger is painted on his face when you enter the rehearsal room, you brought him some food because you know he doesn’t eat when he’s too busy writing and composing songs.


He welcomes you with a harsh voice, his eyes that almost nail you to the wall so much are sharp at that moment. He’s waving the picture in front of your eyes, without realizing that he’s hurting you. You live your sexuality with fear, for the mere fact that Korea is still an incredibly retrograde country on that subject.


"Why didn’t you tell me? I thought you trusted me. ”

“You cannot understand." 

And it’s true, at that moment he doesn’t understand and it’s perhaps for that reason that he’s reacting in that way, throwing upon you the ignorance of his mind. And you quietly leave the room, knowing that that speech isn’t closed but is just postponed to another moment.

Seokmin / DK 

Okay, Seokmin like Joshua would be incredibly confused. I think he’s very much related to his own culture and his family, but he also is very much linked to you too.
But I think though he would be curious to know the difference of the relationship if with the girls you find a better way to live or he somehow changed the cards on the table.
So during a music show, to which you had decided to participate in cheering for him, he approaches you and asks you into your ear who was the girl in the picture that he found in one of your boxes while you cleaned in the attic.
You look upset and search for an answer with your gaze, but he simply hugs you and asks you to tell him everything when you have time. You just nod, still too upset to react and he comes back on the stage. His first fear had been to lose you in some way, maybe he was the classic "one problem drives away another” for that girl, but the frightened look on your face had reassured him. Because he understood that you care about him in the same way he cares about you.
And dedicate the prize that they win at the end of the program to you, is the way to prove that he would still do anything to conquer you, again and again. 


I think Mingyu along with Jihoon would be the most angry. First, because he doesn’t know what you’re going through, how you live in that context. Second, because you’ve been together for almost a year and he’s discovered by pure chance.
He would like to talk to you, after discovering the photo in one of your notebooks, but there are all the others and he’s not the guy to make a scene in front of everyone. But you understand something is wrong, so you take him out and ask him what’s going on. 

“I found this.." 

You remain silent, surprised but above all frightened. And your silence is interpreted badly by Mingyu, who is still very young and inexperienced as regards relationships. 

"If you like other things, you could stay with her." 

He whispers, leaving you alone and returning to the dorm, without realizing that he has just made a huge and possibly irreparable mistake.

Minghao / The8

This guy has the swag by ages and we know it very well. That’s why when he finds this photo, ripped under your bed, he understands there’s something you haven’t told him about. And his slap face immediately appears on his face, while he reaches you in the kitchen and throws the bits of the photo on the counter where you’re cooking. 

"It’s bad education peeking into others’ thing." 

"I was looking for your cat." 

You remain silent, waiting for his next move, but he simply rests his chin on your shoulder and observes you, always with that calm expression that you would like to wipe away with a hard slap. I think he gives really nothing of who you liked or your sexual tastes. 


"What Minghao??" 

"Why was the photo ripped..?" 

"Because she cheated on me." 

That’s the only thing that provokes a reaction in him. You can feel his hand, leaning against your back, closing into a fist and you understand that he’s not affected by the news of your bisexuality. And indeed he’s not, to know that someone hurt you in that way erases the actual surprise of having found out that his girlfriend is bisexual.


I’m expecting a lot of screaming. But of the ones, you can hear even in the near city. Not because you’re bisexual, but because your ex is much gorgeous than him. And it’s his words.
Seungkwan, for me, is the king of "I’m not interested if you like girls too”, and the only thing that disturbs him is that you two, at least from that picture, you seem absolutely perfect together. So when he makes you sit on the couch, starting to storm questions, you look at him without understanding and above all how to answer, because inside you’re still afraid that perhaps he might understand that he doesn’t want to be with someone “like you”. So many times people have left for that reason and you don’t want to lose the guy you love. 

“Seungkwan.. Are you sure it’s not a problem..? " 

"Problem? Why? Is she a better kisser than me? She sings; ” And he begins to sing as he stops before you; “Or dances better than me?” He asks starting to dance while singing a song you don’t know. And you burst to laugh because you were a fool to think that Boo Seungkwan could even leave you for a similar reason.

Hanson / Vernon

Memesol. Memesol in his absolute splendor. The moment he finds that picture, in your parents’ house the day you finally decided to make him know they, his expression turns into an absolute shock. It’s not due to the photo, but it’s your mother’s sentence, shortly after, to make him completely lose control. 

“Oh, they were so beautiful together Vernon! But you look like a good guy, I’m sure she’ll love you a lot more. " 

And I think that Vernon’s quietness would disappear, replaced by a strange and unusual fear. When you find him sitting on your bed, that picture in his hands, you understand that at that moment both of you are afraid and the speech must be done, because any way you have had two relationships. And as much as you loved your ex gf, Vernon is someone you don’t want to lose for any reason in the world. 

"Are you angry??" 

"No.. I’m scared. " 

"Hansol Vernon Chwe.. You will never lose me, for no boy or girl in the world. ”

Chan / Dino 

This little mess of our maknae wouldn’t know how to react. You are his first girlfriend, his first kiss, his first time. To make him loosen up and make him speak for more than ten minutes in a row it took ages and all your patience.
So when he just discovers your bisexuality, he runs immediately from his Hyungs because he absolutely needs their advice.
Everyone is shocked to learn that you also like girls, but immediately Seungcheol takes the younger away from the group and tries to calm him. 

“What do you feel for her?" 

"I like her, Hyung and you know it!”
He nods with a huge smile and rests both hands on his shoulders, squeezing them with delicacy. 

“Then there is some problem if she also likes girls?? 

And he thinks about it for a few seconds, still very confused, then shaking his head with one of his sweet and bright smiles. 

"No Hyung, she remains my jagi.”

Dragons and Darlings

Requested: Hi there! Could you possibly do a Draco Malfoy x Reader where she and Draco find out they’re pregnant and obv Draco becomes extra extra protective of her and won’t even let her take potions class cause he’s afraid of the fumes hurting their heir and then the Dark Lord finds out and threatens the safety of their unborn child if Draco doesn’t complete his task of killing Dumbledore and idk things get super intense and fluffy and hectic? Pretty please? Love your writing btw x    - @littleroserabbit . littleroserabbit

A/N: HI thank you so much you lovely person, this was really amazing. Sorry, this is kind of long I feel really bad for not posting the last couple days my first day of school is Wednesday -_- but I’m gonna try and get more of everybody’s requests done. If I didn’t do it the way you wanted just private message me and I’ll rewrite.

Warnings: Slight Angst, otherwise fluff 

Originally posted by unrealisticstory

Draco Malfoy wasn’t his father. You had known this since you had met him in the third year. It was funny how five years earlier you and he were children, with dreams and impossible aspirations. You tried to remember each moment to forget where you were present. You had just wanted to be careful, you had wanted to be positive that you weren’t… positive. Now you were sat in a bathroom stall trying to imagine Draco as a father, the same Draco who dressed up like a dementor on the Quidditch Pitch not too many years ago.

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olive-basket-deactivated2016022  asked:

i really wanna hear your take on aph italy's character//buzzed about it and is so down for headcanons and commentary

Italy’s character is one I quickly related to upon first watching Hetalia (I was going through a rough time and actually felt solace in it) 

I always saw little things in Italy’s character that I could relate to and it was pretty upsetting that a lot of fans didn’t see it. 

His overall quirkiness really makes him stand out and seem really happy but I can’t help but feel it’s almost like he’s wearing a mask because his history is literally full of fighting, abandonment, abuse, and loosing people he loves 

No one ever talks about how he was the one who had to watch as his grandfather was slowly dying and he actually understood it and expressed to Holy Rome that war was only going to tear him apart, and did Holy Rome listen? No, he went off and got himself killed which gives Italy EVERY REASON TO GET OVER-ATTACHED 

The parallel of his goodbye words to Holy Rome and Germany are eerily close and you can kind of tell that he’s anxious that Germany will leave and never come back (But Germany did and it really straightened their relationship because Italy knew Germany was going to stay for sure, but that didn’t stop him from still worrying)

The dub actually covers a lot of hidden anxiety that I’m sure made its way in to the sub as well. 

The episode where Italy gets nervous that Germany will end up leaving him because Russia was cooler and less like him. He literally uses himself in comparison because he obviously doesn’t think he’s worth anything (Which i’m very glad Germany confronted him about it and promised him that their friendship will still stand, I feel like Italy really needed that) 

He has also self-depricated himself for jokes like in one of the salted salmon episodes dubbed he says something along the lines of “If you get drunk it might be easier for you to still like me” 

Italy doesn’t find himself likable. He knows Germany can make friends better than him which causes this sort of impulse to invade boundaries just to make sure people still like him.

He’s hyper aware of how ‘annoying’ he can be but can’t exactly stop his personality, he mostly does it out of instinct. He still wishes to please everyone he knows, he’s almost like a relentless pleaser. His friendship with Germany grew strong because no matter how bad Germany treated him at first Italy never left. He’s loyal as hell which is a very good trait, I almost see it as that more than he’s just annoying and won’t leave people alone, he’s scared people will leave him if he doesn’t attach himself. 

Also, in dub episode 21 of Hetalia Axis powers there was a mention that Italy was on medication and he didn’t want Germany to leave him because he could ‘feel it wearing off and it’s scary to be alone’. I know dub is necessarily canon but I like how they added it because it really does add a lot to his character to know that he is prescribed to something to help him calm down and become less anxious. 

On top on abandonment and anxiety issues there is also a present ‘Child abuse’ issue, I really do feel he has PTSD in a way, or really just a knowledge that war is damaging. 

Because he does know how to fight, he’s fought off empires just as Venice as a state 

Hima even stated that Italy is amazing with a sword (Which explains why modern war technology is difficult for him, he’s an old man) 

But he was very little at this point, he used to be so high-strung and he’s completely mellowed out now that he’s an adult simply because he knows he does not like wars, he does not want to get involved in wars, he hates fighting because he knows how damaging it can get (Holy Rome and Grandpa Rome’s deaths took a toll of him) 

(This is the only strip we have of Holy Rome’s death and it doesn’t even show Italy’s true reaction; Just him trying to process the information. France is right, he has suffered enough) 

And what I don’t get is why people insult him for it? He’s smart enough to know that war will get you no where and it’s better to stay peaceful, the whole “make pasta not war” thing still stands. 

He surrenders because he does not like fighting. 

He can fight but he doesn’t want to, he might have been more skilled in ancient times rather than modern but he still knows his way around 

And again, a lot of people don’t seem to notice this but when Italy did work for Austria, Austria did beat him up and punished him by locking him in a dark room and not feeding him. That is child abuse. 

They have a strong relationship now, like father and son, and Italy never actually saw anything wrong with how Austria raised him. 

I really hate when people compare him to his brother because Romano was completely pampered by Spain while Italy was forced to work until he drops and then Romano wonders why Italy’s apparently a “better worker than him” but that’s outside the question. 

Italy is very forgiving 

He can’t hold grudges for his life. 

He gives everyone a second chance and is determined to be friends with everyone. 

While people see that as him being naïve I see it as a deeming character trait. You have countries who have hated each other for centuries, France and England’s 100 year war, Lithuania still holds a tight grudge against Prussia. Italy has been bullied and pushed around and he still has the guts to smile at those who have hurt them and I find that absolutely astonishing. 

Not only that but he smiles in the worst of situations because he knows someone has to. 

When everything is going to shit he’s the one who sits there smiling and keeping the mood and atmosphere up when everyone can’t muster one up at all. 

And a lot of the characters take that for granted, because if Italy didn’t smile for them then who would?

Also, he’s almost sort of made himself oblivious to the insults thrown his way. 

He can literally take insults to his face from his own family and still smile through it 

His brother and other nations constantly call him stupid. Romano makes him sound like a shitty brother and the fandom takes his word for it even though Italy’s obviously trying his best to provide his brother what he needs, Romano has actually left him for America during the industrial revolution and he got left behind and had to manage by himself (Which is one of his fears) and he was still able to battle through it because i really do think he puts Romano’s happiness ahead of his own. (I can’t tell you how many fanfics I’ve seen that shit on Italy’s character to make Romano seem better in some sort of way?? I’d show you screenshots but it would insult the authors and it’s just how they choose to write Italy) 

And he does KNOW this but rarely pick fights, this is actually one of the many few pieces of art that Hima made with Italy being absolutely pissed off. 

HE DOES UNDERSTAND WHEN PEOPLE INSULT HIM, but he usually swallows it up. 

(He doesn’t even believe that he’s taller than Romano because he looks up to his brother that much) 

Over all i think he’s an amazingly in depth character that is put through so much shit and still manages to be happy for everyone that needs it even if they don’t treat him well, and a lot of other nations and even fans take that for granted. 

And it really does make me sad because he’s obviously gone through and is going through so much and people don’t even bother to notice that he’s hurting. 

Even when he says he’s nervous or afraid of being alone point blank no one notices because he’s always seen as the nation who is just fine and is always happy and smiling that they just sort of assume he’s okay even when he’s not. 

I really do love his character, he reminds me a bit of myself. 

it makes me sad when people downgrade him as stupid and useless just like some of the other nations do 

Thank you so much for asking I’m glad I could write this out! 

Reveal #3- Questions


“Do NOT let me regret this,” Ladybug sternly warned as she wrote her civilian phone number on a napkin and handed it to Chat. She thought it was only fair that he can text her outside of the suit since they had been partners for almost two years now.

“You won’t, M’Lady,” Chat promised with a bow as he took the napkin in his hands. “I will text you tonight, M’Lady!” With that, they raced in different directions and de-transformed. “Do you think I should text her now?” Adrien asked his kwami as he walked back to the park where him and his friends were before the Akuma attack.

“Don’t care. I want cheese,” Plagg answered from inside Adrien’s jacket. The boy rolled his eyes before putting Ladybug’s number into his phone. For the rest of the short walk to the park, Adrien continued to debate whether to text her now or later on. He decided he had waited enough. He created a new chat as he greeted his four friends.

C: Hello, M’Lady! Isn’t this just a purrfect day? The sun is shining yet it cannot compare to you, bugaboo.

C: Purrhaps we could have a picnic just the two of us later ;)

He hit send and looked up to pay attention to his friends. Nino and Alya were debating whether Ladybug and Chat Noir actually went to their school. Both Adrien and Marinette were laughing at their antics before the blond notice the bluenette take out her phone. She stared at the screen with confusion before flicking her eyes to her crush. She returned to her screen and open her phone to read the message she had received while Adrien was focused on Alya and Nino. Alya noticed her friend flinched before she turned pale with her eyes wide. Moments later, the bluenette’s cheeks were bright red.

“Hey, girl. You alright?” Alya asked her best friend. Marinette had started to shake slightly before she nodded just a little, still staring at her phone. Alya leaned closer to Marinette to read over her shoulder but stared at a blank screen.

“I-I-I-I-I-I h-h-h-have to g-go home,” Marinette stuttered out before quickly standing and dashing out of the park.

“Is she going to be okay?” Adrien asked, staring after her.

“I hope so. I’m sure she’ll tell me what that was all about later,” Alya reassured before going back to her debate with Nino. Adrien felt his phone buzz.

L: You’re Adrien Agreste?!

C: How do you know?

L: My friend programmed your number into my phone over a year ago. I just never had the nerve to actually text you.

C: Oh… Does this mean I get to find you who you are under the mask, M’Lady?

There was a long pause and he began to think that was a no. She replied after a while, mostly arguing with her Kwami, and surprised him with her response.

L: Only if you can guess who I am. In all honesty, I’ve have a crush on your civilian self for over a year ago now. My Kwami said it was okay for you to ask me one thing about my civilian life per day.

C: Can we make this a little more interesting, bugaboo?

L: How so?

C: If I can guess your identity within a week, I get to take you on a date!

L: Fine, but if you don’t, you have to stop saying puns for a month.

C: Deal!

“Dude! Are you even listening?” Nino asked, catching the attention of the young model. Adrien gave a nervous laugh and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Sorry. I was distracted. What are we talking about?”

“Mari’s birthday this Friday,” Alya said. “We are going to throw her a surprise party. Her parents are already in on it!” Alya was practically bouncing with excitement. “Want to help with the party or not?”

“Of course I want to help! Mari is one of my friends. I want to celebrate her birthday too,” Adrien responded.

“Alright dude!” Nino cheered.

“You can distract Marinette while we get her party set up!” Alya planned. “Take her to, like, the movies or something. Or a long walk through the park. Or something like that. Anything that will keep her away from the bakery until we’re ready.” With that, the trio went to work on planning.


Within the five days that he has been talking to Ladybug through text he had learned that she likes Jagged Stone, fashion, is in his home room and chemistry classes, and has stood up against Chloe on several occasions. He had also deduced, by the things she had told him, that she has a very outgoing friend who is almost always by her side. He also found out that she does hang out with him a bit during the school day. That only left one girl if he actually thought about it, which he hadn’t. Instead, he was getting nervous over trying to figure out a birthday present for Marinette since her birthday was the next day.

C: M’Lady, I need help finding a present for a friend of mine.

L: Hmm…

L: What does he like and what’s the occasion?

C: SHE likes fashion and video games and hamsters. She stands up for others when Chloe goes and tries to put them down. When she isn’t a cute, stuttering mess, she is strong and confident.

‘Like you,’ Adrien thought.

C: She is really sweet but has a sassy side too.

‘Like you,’ Adrien repeated in his head.

C: since she became class president, she has been a great leader!

‘Just like you,’ Adrien thought again. He stopped as he pressed send.

“Hey, Plagg?” Adrien asked turning to his Kwami, who hummed a reply. “How many coincidences does it take before it’s no longer a coincidence?” The Kwami shrugged as he munched on his cheese.

L: It sounds like you might like her as more than a friend, chaton.

Adrien stared at the message from his lady and thought about his answer.

C: I think… I might have if I hadn’t fallen in love with you first, M’Lady.

C: Now! Back to the catastrophe at paw! It’s her birthday tomorrow and I want to get her something special.

He could practically see her rolling eyes as she read what he wrote. Ladybug didn’t answer for a bit. So Adrien went on talking about Marinette, slowly realizing that he was talking to her about herself.

C: You see, we didn’t start out as friends. She actually hated me because of a bubble gum misunderstanding. I tried to apologize to her but she didn’t listen to a word I said until one rainy day after school. I offered her my umbrella so she wouldn’t get wet on the way home and the umbrella closed on her.

C: Even though Nino was the first one to take me in as a friend, it was Mari who I first considered a friend.

C: Although, for the longest time I thought she still hated me for the gum incident since she couldn’t form a complete sentence in front me as Adrien. Yet when I would visit her as Chat, she was sassy and confident.

C: I over heard Chloe talking to Mari one time saying I would never date Mari. It confused me until I asked Nino about it.

C: He called me clueless.

L: You really are clueless.

L: As for a birthday present, I’m not sure. Knowing her, she probably wouldn’t ask for anything except to be able to hang out with her friends and family. Anyways, you should probably get some sleep so you can stay awake for our chemistry test tomorrow.

Adrien had forgotten about the test. He also had to get up early tomorrow to find a present for his lady’s birthday, even if she is trying to play it off as if she isn’t Marinette. With a quick goodnight text, the blonde placed his phone on the charger and went to bed. Except, he didn’t sleep much. Instead he stayed up, kicking himself over the fact that it was so obvious. Nino had told him about Marinette disappearing when an Akuma attacked before Ladybug showed up. He saw her EVERY DAY and still he didn’t see the similarities. Her black-blue hair, bluebell eyes, even the little bit of freckles that didn’t quite hide under her mask. Her leadership, kindness, loyalty, dislike of lies… They all are the same but he just didn’t see it until he actually started comparing his lady and his princess. Nino was right. He was clueless. Eventually Adrien slept.


He was woken up the next morning by a hungry Kwami. He quickly went through his normal routine of getting ready for school before meeting Natalie for breakfast. Adrien was able to convince his father’s assistant to leave early so they could go to a jewelry store, Plagg had suggested cheese and jewelry that morning. Subtracting the cheese, Adrien decided to take his Kwami’s suggestion. He spent only twenty minutes when he saw the perfect gift and bought it. He was able to get to school a little early that morning, which gave him some time to think about Marinette, his lady. Adrien was then interrupted by Nino and Alya arriving at school. He greeted them and went over the plan one last time as he followed them into class. Right before the bell rang for class to begin, Marinette ran into the classroom. As soon as everyone saw her, the entire class, with the exception of Chloe and Sabrina, sang Happy Birthday to the young fashion designer. The bluenette’s face turns bright red with embarrassment. Within the week since she ran away from her friends at the park, Marinette had slowly stopped her stuttering in front of Adrien. Alya and Nino thinks that it’s just because she had finally gained a lot of courage but Marinette and Adrien knew the real reason. She had calmed down because her crush was her partner and one of her best friends.

Once the song ended, Marinette gave a shy thank you before quickly rushing to her seat. Adrien quickly took a piece of paper and wrote something down before folding it up. He kept it in his hand until the teacher finally turned away. Adrien quickly threw the folded paper over his head, making it land right in front of Marinette, who gave a quiet little squeak of surprise. The bluenette looked between the note and the blond boy in front of her just like at the park earlier that week before she hesitantly took the note and unfolded it. After reading the note, she smirked a Ladybug smirk.

I hope you don’t mind me stealing you away for our date after school today, M’Lady.

Marinette looked up to make sure the teacher was still looking away before grabbing a sparkly green pen to write.

I was wondering how long it would take you to figure it out, chaton.

She folded the paper back up neatly, waited for the teacher to turn back around, and then threw the paper back at the boy in front of her. The folded note bounced off his head, making him jump slightly, before it landed in front of him. Marinette muffled her laughter as he turned slightly to playfully glare at her. Alya and Nino noticed the transaction between the two and silently hoped the two would start dating after today. For the rest of class, Marinette and Adrien would pass the note back and forth, talking about when he figured it out and where they would go for their date. Marinette was so excited for after school, she was practically bouncing in her seat in her final class.


Adrien was leading Marinette back home after they went to the movies and lost Gorilla at the park. They even had time to patrol a little before Alya gave Adrien the okay to bring Marinette over. The two went inside the bakery, still talking about various things, until they get to the door that leads to the living room of Marinette’s house.

“I think our first date went purrfect, don’t you M’Lady?” Adrien asked as he bowed, grabbing her hand and placing a kiss on her knuckles. Marinette rolled her eyes at his pun, but playfully this time.

“I agree, kitty,” Marinette answered. The bluenette grabbed her keys and unlocked the door but before she could open it, Adrien pulled her away from the door and closer to him. “What are you doing?” Marinette squeaked out from surprise. The only answer she got was lips being gently placed upon her own lips. She returned the kiss but it was short lived when they heard squeals from behind the closed door. They broke apart, much to their disliking, and started at the door. “That sounded like both Alya and my mom,” Marinette whispered. Adrien chuckled before slowly letting her go so she could open the door. The first thing she noticed when Marinette opened the door was how many people were there. To be precise, her entire class with the exception of Chloe. Even Sabrina came to celebrate. Then she noticed the decorates and the music. To say the least, Marinette became very happy when she realized this was a birthday party for her. And so the party went on. Laughter filled the room as they sang, danced, played games, dared each other, ate, and so much more. After everyone had their fill on food and cake, it was time to open presents. Most of her classmates got her yarn, sewing supplies, threads, fabrics, and so on and so forth. Nino had gotten her two Jagged stone CDs while Alya got her a hamster plushy. Alya later told her that she took all of her Adrien posters down for Marinette in case she wanted some alone time with her boyfriend later, this made Marinette blush tremendously. Marinette’s parents had gotten her a new sewing machine since she kept complaining about her old one not working right. Finally, it was Adrien’s turn. He handed her the small box that was beautifully wrapped in pink with a red ribbon on it. The bluenette carefully opened it and her jaw dropped at the sight of it. It was a beautiful silver necklace with two charms on it. One charm was a ladybug with its wings partially open and the words ‘I love you’ engraved in between the red and black wings. The other was of a silver heart with a small diamond in it and the words ‘You’re my little Love Bug’ engraved at the center. Marinette blushed at the gift as she said a small thank you. As Adrien helped her put it on, Marinette couldn’t help but remember that moment when they were fighting with Lady Wifi.

Aw, how romantic. Tomcat’s come to save his love bug.

I’m not his love bug.

We’ll  come back to that later.

This was him coming back to that. She just knew it. She’s going to have to have a talk with him about that later, but for now she’ll just enjoy the company of those she cares about.

Harry-- Coloring Pages

The tears had started over a week ago when Harry’s four year old daughter had seen him start to pack his suitcases.  The last time he went on tour she had been too young to understand what was happening until he was gone.  She had cried some when he had left and a few times while he was gone, but she had mostly been just fine with Daddy being on tour.

Now, she was bigger.  She understood what it meant.  She understood that Daddy wouldn’t be here to wake her up in the morning or give her a cuddle after preschool.  He wouldn’t be there to read her a book after dinner and sing to her as she fell asleep.  He wouldn’t be there to take her to the park on the weekend and push her as high on the swing as his little dare devil wanted to go.

Just a week ago, she had come to him, lip wobbling when he got home from a tour rehearsal.  “Daddy?  Do you have to go?”

Harry had dropped what he was doing and pulled her into his arms, hugging and kissing her.  “I do, sweet pea.  It’s part of Daddy’s job.  Do you remember how Daddy taught you that when you start a job you can’t stop halfway through or not do it as well as you possibly can?”  She had nodded, her head buried in his chest.  “Daddy has to follow those rules, too.  Tour is part of Daddy’s job.”

“Can’t Uncle Niall and Uncle Liam and Uncle Louis do it for you?” she asked, her blue eyes, so like her mother’s, tearing up as she looked up at him, shattering his heart into a million pieces.

He brushed her curly dark hair, stuck to her little cheeks with tears, out of her eyes.  “No, sweet pea, they can’t.  Our job means all of us have to work together as a team.  It wouldn’t sound right if Daddy didn’t go.  Your uncles are depending on me to do my part.”

Keep reading

yoongi; behind it all

❝yoongi was the one behind it all, but you were the one behind his smile
►4701 words // scenario, school!au, the heirs’!influence
♡i’ve also been watching the drama cheese in the trap and have been obsessed with it so there are implications from the drama here and there. also, there are plot holes and certain parts are sketchy because i wrote this out for fun, not so much focusing on anything but i hope it’s still enjoyable!

Yoongi thought he had it all played out, in his mind, that is.

If he was being honest, it was his father’s ruling to have it all planned out for him but either way, he’s the one actually finalising it so Yoongi would like to think he’s the one making his own plans and anyway. It would all be perfect and smooth sailing… if it wasn’t for you.

Ah, the remarkable Y/N that gave not even a rat’s, cat’s or dog’s ass about anything that revolves around the school committee. Even donating the littlest bit could be something as so difficult to make you drink poison. At this rate, Yoongi thinks actually making you drink poison would be easier.

But it’s not everything like he seems, is what he chooses to believe.

Keep reading

The Battle Of Hogwarts ( Draco Malfoy x Reader)

Description -Helloo!! Umm can you do one where’s the reader is Draco girlfriend and when the battle of Hogwarts begin, Draco stay with the reader and fight along side harry potter and all fluffy at the end If you want to change a bit its no problem And if your busy i completely understand P.s i love your story -ardelian

Warnings- It’s set during battle of Hogwarts so take what you want from that but I can say there is no death mentioned  except the obvious Voldemort and Harry’s sorta of dead thing he has going on for that few minutes.

The shield makes no noise when it is  destroyed but I can see it burning, small parts shriveling up and floating down like embers from a campfire. Large bits burning and making huge holes which connect together until nothing is left and the war we were all expecting suddenly becomes very real.

There is the shortest pause between the destruction of the shield and when the death eaters come storming in, but it’s not long  enough to lets us even run or for many to take out there wands, only short enough to let us accept that it has happened.

I find my self running up the stairs with no destination, not having a plan because up until a minute ago I was safe. I pass a few people running down, which should be my first warning or that they were screaming but I put it down hysterics. When I arrive at the top floor I’m sent tumbling to the ground, I don’t see anything except from a trail of black smoke.

I push myself off the ground to come face to face with a man dressed in black, wand pointed at me, grinning menacingly.

Before I have the chance to move a flash of blue light passes me and the assumed death eater falls to ground groaning. I spin round to see my savoir and gasp.

“Draco."I mumble and he quickly walks towards me, pulling me down a short corridor, out of site to everyone else.

We don’t speak, he just pulls me closer and puts his lips on mine. The softest kiss we’ve shared in a long time. I can’t help but let the tears fall from my eyes. He pulls away, hand on my cheeks, wiping my tears away with his thumbs.

"What’s wrong?”

“You came back, I thought I was never going to see you again,"I sob.

"I couldn’t help it, I missed you so much,” He explains, planting another kiss on  on my lips.

“I love you,”

“I love you too,"I see even Draco has tears that threaten to spill.

After about a minute of crying and kissing I realise something.

"Draco, what about all this war, what do we do?"I ask and he gulps.

"I came back to save Hogwarts, if that means helping Potter then I’ll just have to deal with it,”

“But, your family…”

“Mother will get over it when she knows I’m happy and by the time we’re like forty Father while probably get over it,”

“Are you sure? They’re your family-”

“So are you, and I love you,”

“I love you too,” I say, leaning in to kiss him again when suddenly a familiar cackle of a notorious death eater  interrupts us.

“What do we have here? A couple?,” The voice is that of Bellatrix, she gasps “My nephew at that!”

I gulp loudly, Draco squeezes my hand as if to reassure me, it doesn’t work.

“Just wait until Daddy finds out,” She laughs.

“(Y/N), on the count of three, we’re going to run,"Draco whispers in my ear  and I nod. Draco counts quietly but before he gets to one Bellatrix puts down her wand.

"I think I’ll let Lucius sort  this one himself,"She smiles before apparating away.

"Come one,"Draco says, pulling me out of the corridor and together we stumble down the corridors.

"Malfoy!"The voice is especially familiar.

Stood in front of us is Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, wands pointed at Draco.

"Don’t! He’s here to help!"I shout.

Ron takes one look at our intertwined finger and sighs.

"Bloody hell!”

“Do anything death eater-ish I’ll kill you ,” He spits but holds his hand out for Draco to shake which he does.

“Okay now that’s sorted we sort of have a war to fight…"I remind them and they nod and together we run down the stairs, ready to fight,”

The courtyard goes silent as the body of Harry Potter is presented to us all. I hear Ginny cry out. I feel tears in my eyes again and I hide my face in Draco’s side and he puts an arm around my shoulder.

We stand like this for a few minutes, I blank out for a few seconds and snap back to reality as Voldemort is inviting Draco to join them. I notice everyone’s eyes are on us. Draco pulls away and panic takes over me for a second until I feel his warm hands in mine.

He says nothing, Lucius is hissing his name from across the courtyard desperately but Draco shakes his head.

In the end Harry woke up and killed Voldemort. After Draco  and I go to an empty class room to talk.

“Draco are you okay about not getting to be with your family?"I ask him

"Yeah, it will just take a while though, to get over I mean,”

“I’ll help you, I promise,”

“I know you will,"He says, bending down and kissing the top of my head. "I love you,”

“I love you too,”

(Author’s note- Sorry for half ass ending, I’m lazy and an arsehole but I hope this is okay)

anonymous asked:

Do you have any new recs for KHR, HP or crossovers of either? Also, I might be wrong but now that I think of it, since I've seen that same ask three time and so far no one's answered about it, I think that one NRT fic anon's looking for - the one with Tora, Bunshin and Kakashi making it a lesson that just might be HP crossover'd - has been deleted because of /blank/. That's why I think it can't be found. DZ2 deletes his fics because of /blank/ with no warning all the time.

Yeah, it probably has been deleted since I’ve had multiple people asking me if I know it. Anyway, here are some new recs. I haven’t read a lot of either fandom lately, and they’re not all ‘new’ as in recent, more ‘new’ as in I recently read them and they were awesome, so some of them might be a little older in terms of publishing date, and a few I may have rec’d before:


The Rebirth of Tsunayoshi Sawada - ShamelessDilettante

When Tsuna dies at a ripe old age, he finds himself waking again, back in middle school, a month before Reborn even arrives. Tsuna, in all the wry humour he has accumulated in his old life, decides that, what the hell, it’s his turn to fool around with Vongola this time. One-shot. No pairings.

Odd-Job Tsuna - Shameless Dilettante

Tsuna decides to get a job because he didn’t want to be indebted to his father. Somehow, this leads to even more jobs and friends popping up in unexpected places. Tsuna can only blame his inability to refuse requests, but he’ll never understand why he attracts trouble like a magnet. Includes: Many characters appearing randomly. Pre-Reborn.

High School Boss - 1arigato

After the Representative Battles of the Rainbow, Tsuna’s going to be Vongola Decimo in more than just name, and the world is going to realise that Vongola’s tenth generation is more than just a bunch of kids. All those rumours of their power? Not exaggerated ENOUGH, apparently. Rated T to be safe

The Summoning Pact - FruitPastilles

Tsuna wasn’t sure what would come out of this summoning lesson. He didn’t expect having powerful demons scrambling to contract to him, much less having them determined to be more than just contracts. Arcobaleno27

Vigilante Tendency - Kyogre

Complete, semi-AU. There’s such a thing as being too much like the 1st generation. Tsuna didn’t mean to start a vigilante group, but somehow it happened anyway. Well done, “Neo Primo,” well done.

Unbreakable Bond - Kyogre

Oneshot. Tsuna’s twin Ieyasu was brilliant, but there was always also something not quite right about him. It was as if a vital part of him was missing — a heart. (In short: Tsuna has a twin who’s a complete psychopath.)

Ayakashi - Kyogre

Complete, slight AU, gen. Flames and the Trinisette are far from the only secret power in the world. In which Tsuna is half-youkai, and his Guardians aren’t quite all human either. The mafia won’t know what hit them.

Phantom Thief Decimo - Kyogre

Complete. Phantom Thief Tsuna is hired to steal the Vongola Rings. No one expects the Sky Ring to mark him as a candidate for Decimo. No one is happy about it either. semi-AU Varia arc, gen.

In A Nutshell - Echoing Fantasy

Tsuna makes friends in the most unlikely of places.

The Secret’s In the Margins - Echoing Fantasy

College!AU. Tsuna shares Home Economics with a handsome teen named Reborn. At some point, he ends up crushing on the guy, but decides not to say anything. Unfortunately, those doodles in his notebook might just be the death of his silence yet. R27. Oneshot.

Paying the Price - Echoing Fantasy

Blood God AU. Kawahira refuses to let the Arcobaleno go free, even when presented with evidence that the system is no longer needed. Desperate to free those he loves, Tsuna turns to dark magics, and the gods that once lived thanks to the faith of the humans who summoned them. Light R27.

We’re Going Down - Echoing Fantasy

AU. Captured with a fever, Tsuna faces torture at the hands of his friends. Or are they? Dark. R27 fluff.

Heater - Echoing Fantasy

During those cold winter months, everyone suddenly finds an excuse to hang around Tsuna. Fluff.

The Sea Lion - Echoing Fantasy

It’s a bit of cautious planning that allows Iemitsu to send his son off when his own life is threatened. Tsuna ends up in the care and custody of one of the most terrifying groups imaginable, but they end up clicking rather well considering his agenda for the man who killed his father. Revenge is a dish best served cold, as they say. Varia!Tsuna, familial!Varia.

That Hitman, Serving - Echoing Fantasy

When rats are found within the Vongola’s information network, Tsuna sends for Reborn to take care of them. Oneshot.

Drink Me - Echoing Fantasy

Tsuna was used to his father drinking. And then over time, he got used to his mother drinking too. It was understandable, in a twisted sort of way. But he should have realized that when Reborn arrived, everything had to change. That included his mother’s drinking. It isn’t until he graduates that things come to a head, however. Angst, fatherly!Reborn.

The Night Life - Echoing Fantasy

AU. DJ!Tsuna. Reborn goes to hunt down a target and instead ends up meeting Boss, who does not like him. Oneshot. R27. Prompt by celapin on tumblr.

Faux - photojourney

The Tri-Ni-Set is scattered, its planet’s life balanced by the delicate fragments of a dance, a circle, a song. And as the vibrancy of the Arcobaleno wanes with each moon come, as cold stars and darkness make their descent, as the sky gathers its spirits and the earth seeks denouement and the ocean waves wash their children ashore—by some miracle, Jai wakes up. (GEN, OC-centric)

The Lies We Tell to Make the World a Better Place - Mizuki99

AU. In retrospect, Iemitsu had been a fool to think that there wouldn’t be any incidents that would relate back to his job as the External Advisor but the Ninth had been an even bigger fool to think that Tsunayoshi could be used as a pawn to further the Vongola politically.

Gamble - Mizuki99

“Some people can handle living in our world—others cannot.” . “Which is Tsunayoshi?” . “Well, we’ll just have to see, won’t we?”

The Epic Rivalry Between Sasagawa Kyoko and Sawada Tsunayoshi - Dandelion-san

Or the one where Tsuna can cook really, really, really well. (A crackish drabble-like series with no real plot. Canon AU, mostly gen)

Once Again - AmaHoshi

Even death couldn’t keep them apart. They were Vongala’s Tenth Generation. They are family. Reincarnation drabble fic with focus on 10th gen. The drabbles are loosely connected, and eventually will move towards a certain point. But mostly, they’re drabbles. Pairings come later, way later. 1827, 8059 As of 6/25/14, the chapters are being edited, slowly.

Vongola’s Real Sin - Bleach-ed-Na-tsu

Vongola was once great, it is still great but in a darker and more extreme way, but it was once the name of protection and glory and love and family. And Giotto could only cuss now because it was not anymore. He watched the sin pass from one boss to another…It was only when he met the burning resolve of Tsuna that Giotto realised where Vongola’s real sin lay. Full sum inside.

Barring Bookings, Bail and Bondage - ravenromance27

There are laws.There are people who follow the law; people that break the law and people who administer the law. There are Mafia. There are mafia men who follow the law; mafia men who break the law and mafia men who administer the law. Then there is the Vongola, who follow the law and break the law. And then there is Decimo’s Vongola-who defines their own law.


Shade - rayningnight

“I don’t exist, and I don’t care to, anyway.” The first time, Harry’s sure it’s just coincidence. The second time, Harry’s sure it — he — isn’t. And in the times that follow, Harry still doesn’t quite realize how befriending his mysterious guardian is going to reshape the world and beyond. Time/Dimension Travel. GEN.

Silver Tongue - Shadow Hidden By The Moon

Harry Potter was nothing like the world expected him to be. He’s slowly changing the game of how the world works; exposing secrets, lies, and plots no one wanted to know about but will have no choice but to accept and silently growing a following to right so many wrongs. Harry/Tom pairing. Ron and Dumble bashing. Rating changed to M because of future chapters.

The Price is Right - Hi Pot And News

AU Harry is more money-conscious when he arrives at Gringotts with Hagrid. He’s not going to let the wonder of magic take away his common sense and if he can get a good deal, he’s going to take it. Point of deviation: Harry’s primary school taught Home Economics.

October - The Carnivorous Muffin

It is not paradox to rewrite history, in the breath of a single moment a universe blooms into existence as another path fades from view, Tom Riddle meets an aberration on the train to Hogwarts and the rest is in flux. AU, time travel, Death!Harry, slash

Lady of the Dark - Straight-Outta-Hobbiton

Hermione’s had an epiphany; the boys are stupid. This epiphany leads to a lot of things, including an apparently natural makeover and the discovery that maybe the Dark’s not as bad as everyone says. True evil lies in the heart of the deceiver, and as far as she can tell, Lord Voldemort is an honest sort of man. Manipulative!Hermione, Dark!Hermione, Halfblood!Hermione

Stand Against the Moon - Batsutousai

Cursed against his will, Harry made the best of his life until he found himself, again, wandering in Death’s realm. When Death offers him a second chance, a chance to right the wrongs he’d been blind to for too long, he can’t possibly refuse.

Unscripted - Part 2 (Kai)

Back after a really long time, I’m sorry ;; But good news, I’ve ultimately decided on five parts instead of the initial three I had in mind. 

(You’re improvising at this point but hey, so is he.)

Chanyeol’s studio is a complete luxury. Not only does it include total sound proof walls and up-to-date recording equipment, but also extra open space with vertical mirrors and polished floors for dance practices. You never understood why Sehun always went through great lengths—such as buying Starbucks every weekend for the other boy—to get some time in the studio.

The room is massive. He can do his theatrical sessions without any interruption. Everything’s clean and bright, neatly tucked away, sunlight spilling through the blinds in patches.

You’re in the middle of wondering why you’ve only visited this gorgeous room now when there’s a series of short knocks at the door.

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It’s Always Been About Redemption.

Season 6 of MLP premieres tomorrow morning and one element we know is carrying over from season 5 is Starlight Glimmer, the latest in a series of reformed villains. And that’s not a turn of phrase.

At this point in the game, Friendship is Magic has had, by my count, approximately 36 antagonists (not counting non-sentient creatures or the EQG movies, just for argument’s sake), and about 11 that are either major or reoccurring.

Of those 11, not even counting Sunset Shimmer, 7 have been redeemed. That’s a lot of bad guys! It’s been especially noticeable because in season 5 where we had not one, not two- but four major reformations: Gilda, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and of course, Glim Glam herself.

It’s to the point where some fans question whether all this willy-nilly soul-saving is harming the believability of the universe. Which is fair. Not everybody should align to the same school of thought or get along quite so easily. Even in a show called Friendship is Magic, we hope for there to be enough character depth so that every character’s own perspective makes them an individual– which is of course where the best conflict comes from.

And while I can agree that at some point, redeeming too many of your antagonists ends up taking away some of the dramatic tension when they bring in a new baddie (because you’ll just expect this one to be redeemed, too)– I would also argue they haven’t reached that point. 

In fact, the abnormal amount of reformed villains in this show speaks to something special about it. Not every show can pull off redeeming 7 villains, after all, and not only is it because of the something special I’ll talk about in a bit, but because, beyond the titular friendship, redemption has always been a prominent theme.

So, let’s look at the most important redemptions in the series and what they accomplish. This post is already long enough, so I won’t go into Gilda or Trixie, despite the fact that I adored their reformations. Without further ado, I give you Redemption is Magic.

Dizzy/Chaos Grampa

Let’s start in the middle, because why not?

Discord’s redemption has probably been the most divisive one. He was a great villain- no. A GREAT villain. So, some people didn’t want to see him restrained or otherwise neutered. 

It’s a great point to have because one thing I don’t want them to do is make him too clingy, or whatever, where it takes away the dignity of the character. He has a rich, unknown history, a whole whack of power, and a certain air of cool I’d miss if they went too far in the cutesy direction.

Still, beyond fueling a thousand ships, this move allowed for a lot of cute and mischievous stories. Discord’s still sort of a loner character you can’t pin down, and the writers have admitted this is because if he was just willing to go along with every adventure the girls had, they’d never have any problems he couldn’t snap away.

So, as it stands, I like having chaos grandpa around, doing his own thing, but still trying to connect with others, and maybe trying to balance all that. 

One comic I actually really love for this is Friends Forever Issue 20, the Luna and Discord comic. If you’re not following the comics, I still recommend that standalone story, because it gets to the heart of the connections he’s made so far, but still keeping Discord in line with who he is.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon: Pacifica Northwhere?

Diamond Tiara was redeemed when the Cutie Mark Crusaders showed her she doesn’t have to use her natural talent for manipulation to hurt the ponies around her, thereby helping her emotionally mature enough to stand up to her mother and learn the error of her ways.

Silver Spoon was redeemed when she burned Diamond Tiara.

Either way, it’s starting to remind me of another recent cartoon redemption. I believe the term was “bleach-blonde, valley-girl stereotype” was used? Pacifica Northwest from Gravity Falls was once a stereotypically girly bully character, as well, before getting proper redemption story in the show’s second season.

Just for comparison’s sake, I’d say Pacifica’s redemption was done just a little bit better, since it was foreshadowed and the more vulnerable scenes with Pacifica are especially effective, but for what this was, DD and SS’s reformation was glorious.

Crusaders of the Lost Mark was the bookend I never knew I wanted. The only pacing issue comes from the fact that Diamond Tiara wasn’t presented as a redeemable character beforehand– I mean, she literally made fun of Scootaloo’s disability – so her reformation can feel rushed from that perspective.

But, taking that into account, I stand by the opinion that Crusaders is by far the most well-paced, most satisfying musical episode we’ve had to date. And it was an ambitious story– redeeming the two characters, who from the beginning, antagonized the CMC for their blank flanks, while also finally teaching the crusaders their purpose in life, and then going on to have the most heart-warming celebration in the show. It could’ve been a mess.

Instead, by doing something I never even considered, but in hindsight, seems so fitting and perfect, I can safely say this redemption was earned, and means a lot to the CMC as characters.

The Original Queen/Night Night

So, I’ve been rambling for a while on the most impactful redemptions of the show, but I can’t make a post like this without going back to the very beginning.

Nightmare Moon– the first heel-face turn reformation! 

Which, for the record, has been a problem with almost all the redemptions, but at least NMM here had a reason. Y’know, being literally possessed by demons that thrive on depression, jealousy, and hatred, and all.

Even still, it’s the reason Princess Luna was such a fan favourite (still is, but she shares the spotlight with characters like Sunset Shimmer, now). She’s the one character with dat angst and that dark history. She needs love, basically.

The Princess of the Night was able to be saved from the darkness with giant glowing rainbow lasers. It set the tone for the series, and the many redemptions to come.

But, despite how it might seem, Nightmare isn’t the really the reason I’m arguing that it’s always been about redemption.

Twilight “Second Chance” Sparkle

Oh, yeah. We’re going there.

So, no, Twilight was never “evil” per se. She never “tried to conquer the world.” She was a skeptical loner with what by all means should be diagnosed as a panic disorder, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with that.

And, on several occasions, the show goes out of it’s way to make sure viewers know it’s alright to be introverted, and that even if you are a complete shut-in, like, say, Moon Dancer, you aren’t a bad pony, just someone who could improve their life if they let go of the past hurt keeping them from interacting more.

But, even with that said, you see what I’m saying, right? All this time, Twilight’s been living out her second chance. 

Beyond the idea that she never valued friendship, we don’t know what particularly made Twilight that way, but I could hazard a guess. We know she actually had ponies who wanted to be friends with her – heck, ponies who considered themselves her friend – during her primary or middle school days, but there are two events we know came before that:

1. Magic Kindergarten. It was a one-off joke that Twilight, to this day, is haunted by whatever happened in Magic Kindergarten. The most we have is that vision of her being laughed at by all the other children in class.

2. Becoming Celestia’s Private Student. Twilight is a naturally humble character, so now that she’s a princess the lime light makes her uncomfortable, but I think the reason for this is because she grew up on a pedestal. 

I think whatever trauma she went through in Magic Kindergarten, coupled with the fact that she was constantly elevated above the other kids and probably grew to expect them to either assume things about her or pick on her for being special– well, it formed some anti-social habits.

So when she gets another chance at learning what it means to be friends, that’s Twilight’s second chance at life. And from then on, the entire show is her redemption story (which, funnily enough, suffers from the same sort of heel-face turn as the other redemptions in the series; there’s moments where she’s less enthused with her crazy new set of friends than she would be now, but the point still stands).

From day one, it’s been about trying again, and moving forward from past mistakes.

Sunset Shimmy Shams

WHICH brings me to Sunset.

This leather-jacket wearing, motorcycle riding nerd constantly feels guilty for her past mistakes, but keeps moving forward anyway. The fandom has fallen in love with her (myself very much included) because even if she wasn’t a great villain, she’s become a well-developed character since.

Also, no matter what, she’ll always be Twilight’s first student. Never forget.

And, as it happens, she’s a character paralleling Twilight. An angrier, angstier version for sure, but a parallel nonetheless. If you’re still not digging the this has always been Twilight’s redemption story thing, you can at least agree there’s been a lot of awesome what if’s raised throughout the series, particularly with Sunset Shimmer. A sort of ‘There, but for the grace of Celestia, goes Twilight herself’ message.

Speaking of …

Glim Glam (Sunset 2.0)

Ah. And now we get to the real most divisive redemption.

Glim Glam’s control issues and ability to manipulate might make for some interesting stories moving forward, but even though I don’t just want Sunset Shimmer 2: The Shimmening, I have to make the comparison to at least give props where props is due. Starlight was an excellent villain, in both her outings. So we know they’ve got an interesting character to work with, even if her original motivation was lacking.

As the season goes on, we’ll get a sense for Starlight’s new character and I think more people will make up their minds about her one way or the other (I’m willing to bet we’ll see her approval ratings go up as we get used to her, but you never know).

Still, as it stands when I’m writing this, I’m so excited for yet another redemption story.

Because that’s part of what this show does best. It takes what, by all means, should be sickeningly sweet concepts, like friendship and constant redemption, and looks at them from a genuine, loving place.

That’s what Friendship is Magic is to me– I mean, it has to be. If it was any other show and they redeemed seven major villains, I’d be out the door. But because of the unpretentious, openly and unashamedly corny heart that this show has always had at it’s core, I know I’m going to fall in love with Starlight the way I fell in love with every other character on this list. Including Twilight herself.

Since so many people liked Akane, I made her husband, Saizo IV. Retainer of King Semeragi, father of Kaze and Saizo.

Also, heres the younger teen-looking sprite because what a cutie!

Long post and Spoilers below the cut.

Keep reading

The Blank Inquisitor

I know I promised a post about Cory but I really want to talk about the Inquisitor. I swear, though, I’m going to get to Cory eventually.

I’ve talked mostly about game mechanics so far, but even more frustrating than some of the problematic mechanics is the problematic narrative. And I don’t mean problematic in the “poorly handled social justice” sort of way. Well, actually, I absolutely do, but that’s not what I’m focusing on right now (but it is coming like a harsh winter storm, I assure you). For now, I mean from a narrative standpoint. And there are several ways to approach this:

Anticlimactic tie-ups

Half-done character arcs

Character arcs that don’t even make sense

Characters that barely even exist

The general main story-line

Narrative for quest dynamics

As you can imagine, those are all in the works. I’ll link to them when they’re posted.

This time, though, I’m going to look at the narrative in terms of the Inquisitor. Some of these points will overlap with points in other posts, but they’re very relevant here as well.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Andrew and Neil prompt: 5+1 where Andrew stops Neil from getting physically and emotionally hurt and one where Neil takes the blow/hit/kick for Andrew?

I can’t believe I actually get asks holy shit. Idk if this was supposed to be in bullets or what but I’m actually writing this. Quick warning for a homophobic slur at one point. Also, I can’t write, but whatever. After like a week of procrastinating, I finally finish this!

By the end of it, I was just kind of done, so sorry about that.


Andrew’s not surprised when Neil gets into a fight on court.

It’s happened way too many times for him to count, and he doesn’t even move when Neil tries to punch his mark in the throat. He doesn’t really care for whatever the guy said, and he doesn’t try to stop it. He’s halfway across the court, and usually the other person wouldn’t hit back because they knew to not retaliate so they wouldn’t get carded.

The keyword being usually.

Keep reading

The Joker (SuperVillain!Michael)

This isn’t so much about the Joker as a villain as it is about his relationship with Harley Quinn, because I find that fascinating. Anywho. This is a build off of the first two supervillain aus. Not necessary to read those, but recommended.

My Masterlist

She did it! She’d finally done it! A year and a half of failed break-ins, briberies gone wrong, and botched threats. How she’d finally managed to pull it off was beyond her. There were so many moments it could’ve gone wrong, so many moments she was sure she’d be busted.

Yet now, here she stood. Teleported passed the vault-like concrete walls, passed the terrified guards, passed it all.

She was anxious, nervous even. She had all the time in the world, but that’s not why she was worried. She could take all day if she had to. No one was going to come check on them… primarily because no one knew there was a them, just him. That’s why she was worried. Him.

She’d tried and tried so many times to get him out, but she’d never made it. He’d been sitting around waiting for over a year, and she was terrified of what he was going to think of her, say to her. She hated disappointing him more than anything else in this world. It was the worst feeling every time he was upset with her, every time he yelled at her, every time she fell through.

He was in front of her now. His vault-like cell contained a small enclosure of glass, so the guards could watch him like an animal in a cage at the zoo. The floor was littered with garbage from passed meals that they’d never bothered to recollect, one corner looked particularly disturbing caked in what looked like his sewage. It was disgusting, inhumane… unacceptable.

She took a silent step forward, approaching the glass wall, the only thing separating her and her love. He was asleep, or at least pretending to be. Even as she got close enough to press her face against the glass, he stayed lying down on the small cot that was crammed up against one of the walls, eyes tight shut and breathing completely even.

If it weren’t for the small creases between his eyebrows, showing off his frustration, she actually would’ve believed him. She’d known him far too long to fall for his tricks now, masterful tricks though they were. She was sure he was well aware that she was here, as he seemed so aware of everything to her. He didn’t acknowledge her though.

She rested her forehead against the glass and let out a quiet sigh, sliding her eyes closed. So close yet so far away. Sure, she could get in now easily if she wanted to, but it was the emotions she was speaking of. He’d never been as infatuated with her as she was in love with him, yet now, behind this glass, it was like staring at a total stranger.

“You’re late.”

She knew his voice without opening her eyes, “I know.”

“A year late.”

“I know,” Her eyes opened to look at his. He was sitting up now on the cot, eyeing her with a blank expression. He had on his ever present smile, but his eyes were cold, harsh. A calculating look he’d only used on her during the rare occasions she had gone against him. “There were,” she tried to find the words, “technical difficulties.”

He arched an eyebrow, but his eyes stayed cold. “You failed.”

“Yes.” His eyes hardened further at your admission, and you couldn’t bear to look in them a moment longer. Instead, your eyes trailed across the room to the pile of trash on the floor.

A few moments passed before a sigh drew your eyes back to him. “How many times?”

“Too many to count.” She whispered, “I made the guards lives hell.”

“I don’t doubt that.” He got to his feet and paced his cell. “You know how I feel about screw-ups, Harley.”

He’d finally said your name. Only it wasn’t in the loving way he usually did when the two of you were alone. It wasn’t in the authoritative way he usually did when he needed your help. It wasn’t in the teasing way he usually did when he was playing a joke on someone. He sounded… angry. God, she hated disappointing him.

“Mr. J,” She reached a hand up and pressed it against the glass in a pleading tone. “I’m here now.”

“Then get me out of here, Harley,” He growled, walking across the cell and marching toward his with a wide-eyed expression. “We need to have a talk.”

She hesitated, only for a moment, before she nodded and turned the dial on the teleportation device, popping into the cage.

His eyes widened slightly, but other than that his expression didn’t change. He wasn’t aware of when or how she’d gotten the ability to teleport, but now was not the time to interrogate her.

She put an arm over his. She’d not yet tested just how much weight this device could teleport, but she wasn’t about to let that stop her now. He’d been waiting long enough, and now he knew she’d been trying. He wouldn’t stand in here another day.

They didn’t go as far as she had dialed to go, but the device did work.

“HEY!” They were in the hall outside the vault that had been holding his cage. Two guards were at the door, watching it like hawks for him. One of them raised a gun and pointed it head long at her. “Stop right there!”

“Not so fast,” He growled in return, charging forward with an agility few knew he had. He pounced on the guard, and the fight began.

The first guard went down with ease as fists connected furiously with his face, but as the second one jumped on his back she ripped him off and threw him into the opposite wall. The guard nearly doubled her weight, but she was far more agile. She kicked the holster from his hip and sent his gun skidding across the floor, leaving him to fend her off with his fists.

She kicked and clawed and threw out punches of her own, but the simple fact of the matter was she wasn’t quite as strong as necessary for this fight. She hadn’t come prepared for a physical confrontation. She’d been hoping for a quieter exit.

She heard a yell behind her and glanced back for a second to try and see who it was. It was only a second, but it was long enough. The guard caught her on the jaw with his fist, and she staggered back. He grabbed her shoulder and turned her around, putting her between him and the other fight, which was already resolved.

“Mr. J,” She choked out as the guard tightened his grip on her neck.

He was standing over the body of the other guard, beaten beyond recognition, clutching the man’s gun in his hand, trained on the guard holding her. “Let her go.”

“You kill my friend, and you want me to let her go? Get back in your cell!” The guard tightened his grip on her, choking off her air.

“I will kill you if you do not let her go now.” His voice was a lot calmer than usual. That was how she knew he was serious.

“And risk hitting her?” The guard snorted out a laugh. “You must be joking.”

“I joke about a lot of things,” He agreed and chuckled to himself. “But not her.” He pulled the trigger.

A loud bang echoed out through the hall. The grip on her neck released. She stumbled forward with a yell and reached out to stop from hitting the floor, but before she could he caught her around the waist.

There was a moment of silence. A pause, even in their breathing, as they comprehended what happened. “Harley,” He whispered under his breath, helping her to her feet. The tone wasn’t quite loving, but it was as close as he could get.

She felt the blood trickling down her face as he righted her. One of her hands numbly raised up and touched her cheek, pulling back to see the red stain. The bullet that killed the guard had knicked her cheek. “I’m all right, Mr. J…” She rushed her words, looking around for the exit in a panicky way, “Let’s just get going. If we hurry we’ll have time to open the cell doors. That’ll give us enough of a distraction to escape then we…”


She looked up, shocked. It had been years since anyone had called her that, years since he had referred to her as any name other than the one she had assumed when she joined him. It was a shock, shock enough to quiet her even.

He chuckled and reached forward, stroking his thumb over her wound. “(Y/n), I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

anonymous asked:

can you describe your reaction to getting admitted into stanford/checking your application status? i'm excited to hear about it!

aww this is so cute! <3 i actually do have a reaction video but it’s very ugly and lame so i’m not going to show it here, but BASICALLY how this went was that i was really open that i applied to stanford early. like pretty much everyone from my school knew and i had no problem talking about it, everyone on here knew, my extended family knew, it was just common knowledge. it was also common knowledge to me that i would get rejected from stanford and i was pretty chill about it because i was like hey i’ll be applying to 13 other schools, i can’t possibly get rejected from all of them (like i’d also done umich EA and i mean you can never be sure about these things but i knew i had a solid shot) but whenever someone asked “oh libby, where did you apply early?” the answer was never “stanford,” it was always “stanford, but i’m going to be rejected.” it was like one of those psychiatric tests where your shrink says a word and you have to respond in a fraction of a second, if you said stanford i’d have said rejection. i just knew it. i would say it to myself every day so i wouldn’t get my hopes up. because stanford, even though i was a legacy with an uncommon major, is still pretty much impossible, even EA as it’s still only around 10% admission. and i knew that i was okay but i wasn’t special. and i did not even allow myself to consider the alternative. i am the quintessential optimistic pessimist and i expect the worst for every situation i’m into because i know i’m either right or i’ll be nothing less than ecstatic if i’m wrong. but i didn’t think about being wrong, with stanford. i knew what they needed and i knew who i was and i knew (and i know) that those things would never be congruent.

so even though i consider myself a rational person, even though i wove my feelings into a life jacket to keep me afloat during those dark december days, there’s nothing quite like getting your first college decision. sure, i’d been admitted to rutgers back in october, but stanford was different. stanford was my first complete application and stanford was around the same time as everyone i knew was hearing back about their decisions, and stanford was lovely and warm and prestigious and thousands of miles away from home and stanford was a game-changer. and i could say a rejection from stanford wouldn’t affect me and to be honest, in the big scheme of things it wouldn’t, but i knew i would be hurt by it. i liked my essays and i had done well in high school and that should count for something, shouldn’t it? i wasn’t ready to be told that i wasn’t enough. not that early, anyway. my stomach ached the entire day at school. i couldn’t stop shaking, i wore my lucky bracelet and when i spoke my words seemed like they came from someone else because i wasn’t really present, my heart and mind and soul were all in the future, floating somewhere around 5:00 p.m. with that email in my inbox. and i got home and tried to distract myself by talking to people and my mom bought me a hot chocolate from panera (my favorite, with the chocolate chip marshmallows) that i couldn’t stomach and she said “everyone loves you no matter what” and i said “i know” but i was still scared and uncertain and love is a cushion but it’s not a replacement. and 4:59 came faster than expected and i recorded my reaction video wearing a yale sweatshirt underneath my stanford sweatshirt (it’s a metaphor) and i didn’t put on any makeup. why bother? it’s not like anyone was going to see the video.

i began to record, my words in a rush, explaining that i had applied to stanford university restrictive early action class of 2018 and that at the moment i could see the unread email in my inbox that would, good news or bad, have an effect on the next four years of my life but goddammit i was just going to get it over with and look and i closed my eyes and on the inside of my eyelids i saw “we regret to inform you…” and my shaking fingers clicked the email and i saw my stanford ID number and underneath the word “congratulations” and i screamed. i literally screamed and my mouth went wide as a fish’s and i kept saying “no, no, no, no” because this was a mistake, they sent me the wrong email, i was going to get a follow-up saying they’d accidentally admitted severely unqualified applicants and sorry about the misunderstanding!! because who was i? i was seventeen years old, looked thirteen, really, with a messy room and split ends, someone who didn’t listen in calculus class and spent far too much time playing oregon trail and candy crush, someone who by a mixture of choice and circumstance spent most of her time alone and who didn’t even know what she wanted, really, so she never ended up doing much of anything. i said “this is a mistake.” i said “i’m not—” but that was a sentence i couldn’t finish because there were way too many options that could fill in that blank. i called my mom in and she screamed and grabbed the phone and called every relative i had and a couple of my friends had texted me so i texted them back, told them the good news, and right after my decision i put on my snapchat story, in tears, basically, a video of me half-screaming “I GOT INTO STANFORD” because at the time it didn’t seem obnoxious but rather me falling down the rabbit hole and desperately searching for a foothold. i needed to take this strange reality and share it with whoever i could just for affirmation that this is real life!! this is not a dream!! this is not a drill either, this is my life and i posted it on here and i was videochatting with some appblr friends after i’d told them the news and i think i was crying a little bit but god bless them for being my anchors and i posted a status on facebook an hour later after i hadn’t been rescinded and my two best friends took me out to see frozen and the entire time i kept checking my email because people were commenting and liking my facebook status and i felt this haze around me like nothing was real and i kept my stanford sweatshirt on and i didn’t take it off and i felt so happy i could burst into light and i could float away like a bird and i screenshotted that email and i still have the picture because i have never been happier, i don’t think.

there’s something to be said for a moment that completely sweeps you off your feet and i know it’s only a dumb college decision but it was the strangest reality check i have ever been a part of and all those shitty thoughts i have had about myself, things that could fill volumes of an encyclopedia, were things i had to rethink and you should never let anything determine your worth but there’s something so nice about validation, especially when you least expect it. and people who i thought were my safety nets were actually my trampolines, propelling me higher and higher and when i came back to school people were so lovely and saying “if it had to be anyone, i’m glad it was you” and “you deserve it more than anyone” and i was completely taken aback that such kind thoughts were directed towards me but it was so wonderful. and it was friday the 13th but it was the luckiest day of my life and i don’t think i’ll ever truly get over it, even though the sun always sets eventually and there are days when the clouds mar my sky and even though sometimes i feel like i’m treading water in an endless ocean, trying desperately to stay afloat i use that day as a raft because it reminds me that amazing things have happened, that i have contributed to something larger than me and that i am integral into shaping my own future and even though i know there will be highs and lows in the days to come i cannot ever forget a day like that. it amazes me more every time i think about it. i hold onto it because i can’t bear to let it go.