i wanted to put in a good description because i worked really hard on this and i'm still at it but

Sick of Losing Soulmates

A/N: The title barely matches the story but I listened to Sick of Losing Soulmates by Dodie Clark while writing this soo… This was also the fruits of headcanon from Sleepover Saturday.

You sat in the bathroom staring at the test in your hands. The results were clear the first time you took the test but it didn’t really hit until you saw the second one. A half hour ago you were just trying to be sure that your cycle wouldn’t mess with your honeymoon plans only to realize you’d missed your period. It was late, and not just a few days but several weeks, almost a whole month. It wasn’t hard to think of the last time you had unprotected sex, and maybe you shouldn’t have been this surprised but it was the night before your wedding, and the last thing you ever expected was to find out you were pregnant. Your whole perspective of the world began to shift as it all began revolving around the conglomeration of cells inside of you destined to be a baby, a baby that would be the perfect combination of you and your fiance. Panic settled in your stomach as you thought of the nights you’d had lately. The bachelorette party had been filled with alcohol as well as the rehearsal dinner. You hoped it was too soon for the baby to be affected by that. You grabbed your phone from the sink and called your fiance. You knew that calling him to come over this late would stress him out, but this isn’t the kind of thing you tell someone over the phone.

“Hey,” he answered, and you could already hear the concern pulling at his voice.

“Hi, Bucky… I need you to come over to my place.”

“Are you alright? Are you hurt?”

“I’m okay… I just need to talk to you. Don’t worry I don’t have cold feet or anything. I just want to talk.”

“Why can’t we talk now… on the phone?” he was skeptical of your assertion that everything was alright.

“I just… I really need to see your face… and I need you to hold me. Can you come here and do that for me?” you asked, desperation clinging to your voice as you willed him to just trust you and come over.

“Alright… I’ll be over in fifteen.”

“Thank you, Bucky. I love you.”

“I love you too, Doll,” he response was sincere as always and you smiled trying to take comfort in knowing that he loved you. You’d get through this together.

Bucky left his place quietly, trying not wake Steve he was sprawled on the couch fast asleep. He’d be leaving this place soon. The two of you found a nice apartment in Brooklyn. It was a two bedroom place with a nice backyard, he was thinking of adopting a dog with you after your wedding and honeymoon. He’d miss living with Steve, though he was sure Steve would be at his new place often. He got in his car and drove the short distance to your place, trying to quell his anxieties by listening to the radio. He listened to the oldies station but the stuff they played was still new to him. It was distracting. He could be confused and concerned for the direction music went in, instead of confused and concerned about you.  It worked for a little while, then a love song came on and he couldn’t help but to think of you again. You were one of his few constants in his life. You were right up there with Steve in importance. You never wavered, or showed any signs of tiring of him, despite the long road it had been gaining his trust, and teaching him what healthy love can feel like. Bucky was positive he couldn’t function without you. From the moment he met you he knew you would always be too good for him. You were too kind, too beautiful, too funny, too genuine, too everything good in this world for him to deserve. If it weren’t for the fact that leaving you would break your heart he’d go, because it wasn’t fair to you to be attached to someone who was barely human for the better part of his life, someone who had done so much bad that he could devote the rest of his life to heroism and he still wouldn’t begin to level the scales.

The car was barely parked in front of your building before he got out of the car, snatching the keys out of the ignition and hurrying up the stairs to your apartment. He knocked on the door and waited for you to answer, impatiently switching his weight from one foot to the other. You opened the door to see his worried face. It only became more anxious as he took in your appearance. You moved out of the way so he could come in. In the few moments that it took Bucky to get to your place, you’d thought of exactly how you would tell Bucky.

“Um… you should sit down,” you suggested quietly. Bucky looked at you confusedly for an instant but sat on your sofa and waited for you to continue. When you didn’t say anything immediately he decided to urge you along.

“What couldn’t you say on the phone?” he looked up at you as you stood in front of him. He could tell you’d been crying. Scenarios that could have triggered your tears fluttered into his mind, each scenario worse than the last.

“I… I'm… Bucky I’m pregnant,” You whispered, forcing the words out of your mouth as if they physically hurt to say aloud because it made it more real. You watched Bucky’s face looking for acceptance, or anger, something! There was nothing though he just looked up at you as if you hadn’t spoken at all.

“Bucky,” You called, bending down to be eye level with him. His eyes followed you but his face remained the same.

“Please Bucky say something.”

“I have to go,” he uttered and he got up, moving past you carefully as you stood there stunned and frozen for a few seconds. Then it hit…was he leaving you?

“Bucky?” you called watching his back as he walked away, “Bucky?! Where are you going?!”

He closed the door on his way out. You were so shocked you couldn’t even cry at first, you just stood there staring at the door, hoping that he’d come back. That the door would open and he’d hug you and he’d tell you that he was sorry and that everything was going to be alright. The tears didn’t hit until you went to the window and saw his car pull away. You cried so hard it felt like your chest was going to split apart.

Bucky drove until the traffic was too much, and he was sitting still too long for it to be any good for him. He parked by some non descript building then he just walked. He felt like he was shaking apart and that he’d snap if he didn’t keep moving. He had to put distance between the two of you. Between you, and the baby, and him because he was bad. He could justify staying with you, because you swore you needed him so if he left to keep you safe it would only hurt you, but a baby?! A baby would only be hurt by his presence.  He couldn’t even imagine being allowed to be in the same room as a baby your baby, your perfect innocent baby. Surely God would strike him down. It was too much, way more than he could ever deserve, than he could even work to deserve. He couldn’t take that much from you… He also couldn’t fathom raising a child, trying to teach them rules and morals that he had once been void of.  He thought of looking at their tiny beautiful face and telling them about what he had done, how many people he had killed. Fathers were supposed to be superheroes, protectors how could they see him as anything but a villain after he told them his crimes.

“He just left, Steve,” you cried over the phone.

“Hey, hey, calm down. I’ll go find him, okay?” Steve spoke back in a calm voice.

“Okay,” you sniffled pathetically, trying to steady your breathing back to a normal pace. You trusted Steve,  so much so that if this was a happier situation you would be calling him to be the godfather of your unborn child.

“I want you to call Natasha, okay? You shouldn’t be alone.”

“Okay,” a new wave of tears started up as Steve said the word alone. He was right, you shouldn’t be alone, because Bucky was supposed to be there. He wasn’t supposed to just leave! He was supposed to stay and talk to you and tell you that he couldn’t handle a baby if that was the problem and the two of you were supposed to make a decision together.  Once you got off the phone with Steve, you called Natasha who vowed to be at your apartment in five minutes despite living a half an hour away. She was there in three minutes.

Steve headed out to go search for Bucky, he had a good idea of where he would be. Sometimes when things got to be too much Bucky would go to central park.  There was one bench in front of a pond that he would sit at and just stare out at nothing. Steve supposed it was peaceful, at the very least,  no one bothered him. Steve walked through the park keeping his eyes peeled for his friend. He wasn’t exactly surprised that Bucky reacted this way, but he was disappointed. You weren’t just his best friend’s fiance, your were his friend too. Hearing you sob on the phone broke his heart.

Bucky was at the bench, as Steve expected, with his head in his hands. Steve stopped a few feet away and sighed heavily. He took out his phone to text Natasha, knowing that if he sent you a message you would call and demand to speak to Bucky.

-I found him.

-Kick his ass for me- Natasha responded.

Steve was honestly considering going through with her request. Nevertheless he continued forward until he was standing in front of Bucky.

“What fuck, Bucky?” Steve sighed. Bucky’s head snapped up to see Steve standing in front of him with his arms crossed in front of his chest and an irate expression on his face. Steve looked down at him, taking noticed of his red eyes and nose.

“I… I can't… she’s pregnant and I-”

“And you thought you were just going to leave?” Steve asked incredulously.

“No!… Yes… I don’t know. Steve I can’t raise a baby. I don’t deserve a baby. I don’t even deserve Y/N but she wanted me for whatever reason and-”

“Bucky who the fuck cares?!” Steve exploded, “What kind of stupid are you? She’s pregnant! With your baby! This isn’t the time to talk about whether or not you deserve a baby, because, god permitting, you’re having one and she needs you, you fucking idiot.”

“She’d be better off-”

“Shut up! No she wouldn’t! Now listen to me. No one could ever properly deserve Y/N alright? No one. She’s too amazing, it’s a damn blessing just to know her. For some reason she chose you, Bucky. I  don’t know why she did it, but she did. She wanted to marry you. Now she’s having a baby for you. You don’t question what god is giving you, Buck. You just take it and you cherish it. You want to make up for the shit you’ve done? Start with loving her well, and being a father to that baby, and raising her right. Walking away is not an option,” Steve leaned forward, really glaring at Bucky as he spoke.

“…You’re right,” Bucky nodded after a moment.

“Of course I’m right. Come on. I’m taking you back to Y/N.”

“I left my car… somewhere.”

“You are such an idiot sometimes,” Steve shook his head smiling a little as Bucky stood up. Steve threw an arm over Bucky’s shoulder, “Oh, Natasha’s probably going to kick your ass.”

“Fair enough.”

Natasha held you in her arms, rocking you gently side to side.

“I’ll co-parent, if all else fails,” she smiled as you laughed a little at that, “I bet Steve would help too. We’d be one big weird family.”

“Thanks, Nat,” you smiled.

“No need.” she waved off the thanks holding you tighter and resting her cheek a top your head, “If you really wanted to thank me you’d name her after me.”

“I don’t even now the sex,” you complained.

“Doesn’t matter. Name them Natasha.”

As you laughed a little at her silliness there was a knock at your door.

“Who is it?!” Natasha yelled.

“Special delivery! I got a stray husband-to-be to return here,” Steve called back.

“It’s unlocked!”

Steve opened the door and walked in with Bucky in tow. As Steve saw you and Natasha he smiled, opening his arms to you, bending to hug you on the couch. He kissed your forehead then stood straight to look at Natasha. She had Bucky by the collar and appeared to be growling things to him in Russian. It was to be assumed that she was threatening his life.

“Come on Nat. You can’t kill him now. He’s gonna be a dad,” Steve beckoned light heartedly as he made his way back to the front door.

“I can be the child’s father,” she shrugged, “you can help. Me and Y/N figured it all out,” she spoke to Steve, but continued to look at Bucky as she walked towards the door. Once Natasha and Steve were gone, Bucky sat down heavily beside you. You looked down at your hands afraid to look at him.

“We can… we can figure something out, Buck. I don’t want to lose you,” you were on the verge of crying again. Bucky sighed, feeling more awful than he did to begin with. He pulled you into his arms and crushed you gently against his chest

“I’m not going any where and I’m sorry I made you think so… this is great… too great. I thought it was more than I deserve and it probably is but it’s not about that. This is about you… and our future child. I want to marry you so we can raise this baby together. We’ll figure out everything else as we go,” he vowed.

~Mod Lillian

anonymous asked:

You said lucio/symmetra was your ultimate otp...i'm intrigued by it but since there's so little around I haven't fully gotten into it! Could you share some of your thoughts on it o: ? i'm definitely interested on what you think their dynamic is like! I know you said you wanted people to tell you about their ships but I can't stop wondering about this ship since you mentioned it...

ur all horrible enablers, shame on u

If I put all my feelings about this ship in a book, it’d look like that book where that one dude printed out all of Wikipedia, so instead have some headcanons I have on their dynamic (and also this turned out a bit longer than anticipated)

  • They’re way more similar than they think they are and everytime someone points it out they both argue like siblings when someone tells them they look alike.

  • Like, let me give a brief description and you try to guess whom I’m talking about: Super idealistic, believes in a better world for everyone. Wants to make people’s lives better and cares deeply about the suffering of others. Comes from a very poor family but has risen above that by virtue of their talents. An artist and uses their artistic skill in their fighting style. Has strong ideals and is prepared to face overwhelming opposition for them.

  • I think on some level they’re aware of how much they have in common but in the beginning they refuse to face the facts, because they do not want to be associated with someone like that.

  • And they hate each other. And, as everyone knows, hate is an attractional force. It’s not like disgust where you try to stay away from the other person. No, they hate each other and everytime they’re in roughly the same spot (like, a continent) they inevitably end up finding and shouting at each other over everything they could possibly disagree over.

  • And there’s a lot they disagree about and they miraculously find more everytime they argue.

  • If Satya says she likes a movie, Lúcio will hate it by default and argue with her about all the problematic shit in it and of course an evil heartless demon like her would like that movie. If Lúcio dyes his hair blue for Christmas, Satya will change her entire wardrobe because the colour blue is so unsophisticated and simplistic, she can’t be seen dead with it.

  • And there’s a breaking point somewhere, because both of them know they don’t have all the answers and the other isn’t all wrong in their accusations. Lúcio breaks down someday because damn her, Satya is right, the people in his favela are still poor, they are still hungry and thirsty, still sick and unable to pay the hospital bills, still miserable and he doesn’t know how to fix it, and maybe Vishkar would have fixed it and maybe giving up their freedom wouldn’t have been too high a price to pay.

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anonymous asked:

LOVED your fic recs! You mentioned that you had runner-ups, what are they? I'm curious because we have similar fic tastes and I've read most on your list.

Thanks mate! I’m glad you appreciated that and yes, I was originally going to post 15 fics, but I cut it down to 10 because I’m a lazy bastard. The following are honorable mentions to my treasure trove (or part two, view it anyway you want.)

  • Make a Wish by AcrobatElle
    • Rated: E
    • Noted Features: Wish Realm!AU, Canon Divergence (Season 6), Wish Realm Fix It, Older!Killian, Porn with Feelings
    • Author’s Description: Stuck in the Enchanted Forest after her wish was granted, Emma seeks out Killian. She doesn’t expect what she finds. 
    • Rose’s Review: If I were a bigger cunt than I already am, I would just download this fic and sent it to A&E and be like “See this? This is what you should have done you bloody fucking wankers instead of going for the laugh!” (I’m not bitter I promise.) This isn’t just amazingly crafted Captain Swan smut, it’s amazingly crafted Captain Swan smut that rips out your heart and makes you weep for Wish!Hook because he’s just so unhappy but so gracious and in love with Emma (all Killians are in love with all Emma’s, let’s just face it). He really could have been bitter but he’s just so accepting and encouraging of Emma and his main verse self that it makes you want to curl in a corner with a bottle of rosé and weep to “White Flag” by Dido. It doesn’t make you cry because it’s angsty, it makes you cry because they just fucking love each other so much and Wish!Hook kinda gets the raw deal because he has no Emma of his own. He arguably doesn’t really exist but you still feel bad because despite the fact he was unhappy that doesn’t mean he didn’t have a good heart. Ugh. Just read it and have feels. 

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Christmas Surprise (Sam Drake x Reader) SFW

Originally posted by iwasborntobereal

A/N-I was wanting this to be uploaded yesterday but I was away all day at a Christmas dinner/party and didnt get back till 1am…but here you go!

Description: Sam is away on another job, you don’t know how long for, so you spend some of the christmas period with the rest of your new family. You get a call from Sam and he says he will still be away over Christmas, maybe even the new year, but little did you know that he has a surprise for you on Christmas day!

Stepping out of the car, you open the trunk and grab a bunch of bags; Christmas presents for Nate, Elena and Cassie, mainly Cassie.

You have traveled to Nate and Elena’s for Christmas, alone. Sam is away on a job, which he has needed up being away longer than expected, but you are expecting to have a Skype call with him later tonight, which you are excited for; having not heard his voice in nearly a month.

You reach the front door and knock.

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anonymous asked:

hey i realized the other day that both the really emotional scenes in mop (nursey seeing his mom, dex being outed to his family) are told from dex's pov. i would love to see nursey's thought process in one or both of those scenes, if you're accepting prompts

…holy shit this has been in my inbox a looooooong time. I am so sorry. 

Also, as an aside and a warning: Mechanics of Poetry was written and completed well before there was drama in the fandom concerning Nursey’s parents. Like. almost a full year before. So Nursey’s parents in MoP are not good people. This take on the scene is a direct restructuring of an exact scene from chapter 8 of MoP. 

The game is on parents’ weekend, which is always a sore spot for Nursey. He appreciates that Assumpta and Snowy, and Jack and Bitty, and Lardo and Shitty have come up to more or less babysit the lot of them, he really does. He tries to remind himself that this is the last year where he has to go to a parents’ weekend sort of thing and remember that his own aren’t really…present.

“Hey all you family-less seniors,” Shitty says, dropping an arm around Chowder’s shoulders and ruffling his wet hair after they’ve won the game. “We should all go grab drinks.”

“Yeah for sure,” Nursey agrees, because drinks with the team is way more his style, even if Shitty’s phrasing stings a bit. But Shitty gets it, a little more than most of the others do. Shitty had the same category of problem growing up – the son of a guy who went to Andover who was the son of a guy who went to Andover who was the son of a guy who went to Andover and et cetera until it sounded insane, while not actually being anything like his father.

“That’s my shirt,” Dex says, tugging at Nursey’s sleeve. It is Dex’s shirt, because Nursey could never actually bring himself to buy a flannel shirt, but he’s a hundred percent down with stealing Dex’s.

“Yeah,” he agrees, grinning at his boyfriend. Dex rolls his eyes and pouts just a little in the way Nursey finds so cute. “What? It smells good.”

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heartlessghoul  asked:

Things that scare you about all the types

Ooohhh spoooky. Okay, in honor of Halloween (I feel really bad writing about the negative aspects of types…..:( especially certain ones that already get enough as it is) but here goes:

ENFP: When they lose focus on their inner Fi, they can get very, very reckless….acting only with their Ne and Te….they start doing things only for the outcome….and with no morals to guide them. Along with that, they can be surprisingly cynical…and it’s difficult to discuss with a negative Ne-dom.

INFP: They have such a strong understanding of themselves and what they want the world to be like, and it can be really scary how hard they are to argue with. And even if they don’t shut you down before the second sentence, you’re never going to change their mind. (I have lost many arguments to INFPs…not because either of us were wrong, but because I gave up out of exhaustion)

ENFJ: Do they /actually/ like you as a person? Or do they completely hate your guts and are too polite to say so??? Will you ever know??? Probably not….it always leaves me on edge…. (But most of the time it’s genuine….so….)

INFJ: Okay, so a lot of descriptions will say that they’re manipulative, and honestly, I don’t think that’s the case. However, it’s really easy to put a lot of trust into them, and they can really get inside your head. If you do meet an INFJ that’s manipulative…watch out. (Luckily they’re usually super nice dorks tho)

ENTP: They’re really, really silly…until they’re not. Like, they’re usually harmless nerds, but they’ll do /anything/ just to observe the outcome…..and that tertiary Fe tho….yikes.  The thing about the introverted judgers …they’re not usually in it for “the good of the group”…so watch out

INTP: So I heard they get really, really mad….I mean, I’ve never seen it in person….but knowing Ti…if something doesn’t fit into their understanding of reality….things might go a bit haywire….  and sometimes Ti-Ne is all about working biased information to your advantage….

ENTJ: They /know/ what they want….and they’ll probably get it eventually. They’re extremely determined, and their natural confidence can be kind of terrifying…..especially if they’re in touch with their tertiary Se….they’re pretty much invincible tbh….

INTJ: They are nearly impossible to read. Did they like your joke? Did they hate it? Do they actually hate you??? And they’re usually quite confident outwardly, so you end up placing a lot of your own self worth in whether they like you….and it’s stressful when you can’t really tell….

ESFP: tbh an Se-Te loop is possibly the most terrifying thing I’ve ever encountered. But even with normally developed functions, inferior Ni can cause them to jump to conclusions without reasonable evidence…and it’s just a mess of insecurity and fluctuating self esteem…they can be hard to reason with

ISFP: As quiet and friendly as they are, you can never change an ISFP…with dominant Fi, they have a core understanding of their own values and beliefs. Paired with Se, they’re not afraid to cut things off if they need to move on. Basically, just don’t underestimate them, or you probably won’t be seeing them for long….

ESTP: They’re literally magnetic. It’s their tertiary Fe and their dominant Se…you /will/ notice them…and they probably won’t mind. Honestly, forget INTJ supervillain, ESTP villains are so confident and badass…like…..c’mon…. Anyway, they’re just so easy to admire, it’s hard to even believe they exist….

ISTP: Like INTPs, Ti can cause them to go to pretty elaborate lengths to be right…but Se-Ni, unlike, Ne-Si is more future oriented. They push forward, and leave the past behind. Along with being super pragmatic, they also give literally no fucks and it intimidates the hell out of me tbh

ESFJ: /Don’t mess with their friends/ You won’t know what hit you…. You think “hey, they were friends 3 years ago, no big deal…things have moved on”??? BIG mistake…you can bet that they’re the shoulder the one person you mess with ends up crying on….just….don’t….you’ll instantly regret it.

ISFJ: Never underestimate them. Like seriously, you think you’re leaving them behind, but it turns out they’re just surpassing you in everything that you’ve ever done ever…. Si-doms are all about reflection, so if you mess with them before, they will understand that….and they’ll learn and grow from it. They may seem quiet, but they’re pretty much unstoppable….

ESTJ: Try arguing with them. Just try it. You’ll lose. They know how life works…and they’re not afraid to tell you. Plus, you’re never going to change their mind… (and from what I’ve seen inferior Fi can make them do some scary things when all hell breaks loose and they get emotional) 

ISTJ: An ISTJ (especially one in an Fi loop) would probably hold grudges for life….. and I mean… they’re the only people I know that are actually able to /do/ things…i mean, without an ISTJ helping me make well informed decisions I would probably have drank my school’s poisoned water by now…..i don’t want to get one mad at me…. (but seriously, my school’s water supply is fucked up) 

anonymous asked:

Hello, I was wondering if you could explain the relationships between Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian? You don't have to do paragraphs of anything but I really want to know more about their relationships and it's kind of confusing when I read some things that contradict other things haha I know Tim and Damian basically hate each other and Dick and Damian are suppose to be close? I'm not sure if that just for fics though.. Thank you! (:

Hello! I would be more than happy to explain but I must put out a warning first. Canon is very wibbly wobbly, it can vary dramatically between authors so there’s no one ‘correct’ interpretation of any character. I try and find the traits/relationships that are most consistent/in-character and tend to disregard the crappy writers. Also it’s good to separate fanon, which is often way over exaggerated and often wrong, from canon.

Okay so i ended up going a bit overboard but I believe this is a pretty fair description of the relationships as I know them, based on my own comics collection. I’m not saying it’s fact, there’s a canon story where Jason becomes a tenticle monster. So my advice? Read the stories you like, find the canons interpretaions you think suit the characters. And not all fanon is bad, I enjoy and headcanon a bit myself but some views (Dick is 500% a sunshine cutie, Dami is a sniffly tiny baby) just don’t have any support.

Dick and Bruce- As sad as it is to say, Bruce probably has a stronger relationship with Dick than the other kids. It’s been stated over and over how much Bruce truly cares for, admires and trusts his first son. That’s not to say Bruce isn’t above manipulating Dick’s good nature / love of Bruce for the mission and they’ve gone through a few periods of intense fighting / not speaking. On the whole, I’d say the relationship is mostly good. Bruce admits that Dick coming into his life saved him from a dark path and Dick isn’t shy about telling Bruce he loves him.

Dick and Jason- Dick and Jay have a difficult relationship to pin down, so here’s how I see it. Jay was adopted while Dick and Bruce were fighting. While Jason was Robin, Dick was a bit stand-offish feeling that Bruce had up and replaced him. He helped Jay out on a few cases, and wasn’t mean to him or anything, but he wasn’t very involved either. But when Jason died he was just as upset as Bruce was. Since Jay’s resurrection, it’s been shown Dick makes an active effort to bridge the gap and help out Jason. Jay, for the most part, usually ignores him but I always get the sense that he, like the other batboys, really look up to Dick.

Dick and Tim- I think of all the bat siblings, Dick and Tim have the most normal brotherly relationship. From the start, Dick was more involved with Timmy, helping him out both in and out of costume. I think he learned his mistake in not bonding with Jason and wants to prevent the same thing from happening to Tim. Time and again, Dick has been looking out for Tim and Tim cares for and admires Nightwing so much. They refer to each other as brothers the easiest as well. Honestly it’s a decently healthy relationship for superheroes in Gotham City.

Dick and Damian-  To me, it’s much more of a paternal relationship as compared to a fraternal one. Dick basically gave Damian the tools to redeem himself. Bruce was dead  and so Dick stepped up to the plate as Batman and Dami’s pseudo-parent. He struggled and worked at it but he made Dami realize he was loved. This show of care is really I believe what turned Damian onto a better path. Bruce came back and finally started to bond with his kid now that he was more manageable. In my mind, Dick/Dami are much closer than Dami/Bruce if only bc Dick invested so much. Dami, likewise, loves the hell out of Dick and always defends him.

Jason and Bruce- I hope I don’t need to elaborate too much when I say it is bitter and complicated. Jason isn’t mad that Bruce didn’t save him, he understands that. He’s mad Batman didn’t avenge his murder,  it felt like Jay meant nothing to Bruce and was easily replaced. But Jay can’t completely hate Bruce because he still remembers the good ole days when Bruce saved him from the streets. He’s slowly, excruciatingly slowly, merging back into the batfam but he and Bruce have a long way to go if they want to repair the relationship. Honestly? I don’t know if either of them has it in them to really let go and accept what’s happened.

Jason and Tim- Again, this is a hard relationship to describe as it changes constantly. Initially Jason hated Tim for replacing him as Robin. He made several attempts on Tim’s life and Timmy outright avoided anything with Jay. They’ve since become a bit closer. Jason realizes that Tim has nothing to do with him and Bruce while Tim acknowledges that Jay went through some tough times. I personally don’t like interpretations where they’re super buddies, but I do like that they’ve been able to work together and understand one another. They can act like brothers but still a bit distant.

Jason and Damian- This one I’m a bit iffy on, from my experience, Jay and Dami don’t have a terrible amount of significant interaction. It’s mostly during fights or those weird bantering moments in the cave. The two will sass each other and provide an assassins perspective but that’s it as far as I know. We know they care as Jason demanded to be part of the group to resurrect Damian. Fanon likes to have Dami and Jason bonding over being killers in a nonviolent family and also having been resurrected. I’m not saying that can’t happen (I like to believe this) I’m just saying I don’t think it’s strictly canon .

Tim and Bruce- Unlike the other boys who became part of the family first then became Robin, Tim was the opposite. Bruce treated Tim like an apprentice rather than a son at first making clear distinctions btw Tim and say Jay and Dick. He, of course, grew to care for Tim and thus when Jack Drake was killed, he became a Wayne. To me, Tim is the most like Bruce and I think Bruce feels this as well. He’s more likely to leave Tim on his own, thinking the boy is tough enough to handle it. But he often misses Tim’s emotional needs, like being lonely and needing assurance and attention so he doesn’t work himself to death. This falls mostly to Dick.

Tim and Damian- These two have never and probably will never get along. They’re too stubborn and too certain the other is wrong. Luckily, Dami has moved past his desire to kill Timmy every five minutes but their relationship is mostly antagonistic but in a less violent way. I find it sadly ironic that both Damian and Tim have expressed to feeling removed from the family, that the other is more of an ‘actual’ son. I feel they could get along better if they made an effort but too much has happened and they’ve settled into their roles. But again, they do care enough that they will save each other and Tim was pretty sad when Damian was killed.

Damian and Bruce- Dami and Bruce got off to a very rocky start. Dami was a spoiled murderous snot and though Bruce *ahem* “tried” to help his son, he wasn’t going about it the right way. Then Bruce died and when he came back, Damian was Robin and much calmer thanks to Dick. Bruce took back the Batsuit but kept Damian on as Robin and here is where father and son really forged a  connection as Bruce continued to help guide Damian. Bruce was beside himself with grief when Damian died and did some crazy stuff to bring him back. The two aren’t 100% and I still feel Dick/Dami get on better but now Bruce is actually helping Damian and the boy appreciates it.

An Analysis of the Frank-Matt-Karen Relationship

So, I’m not sure if this has been done before. I’m sure it has, BUT I wanted to make this anyway because I can’t get enough of Castle lately and my brain is on overdrive about them and so I started thinking…

I had my first thought while watching a gif of the hospital scene, when Karen steps over the line to show Frank the picture of his family.

NOTE: This is super long (w/picture). READ AT OWN RISK :)

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theorilliaorange  asked:

(I'm sorry, I have like. 3000 questions for you) Your writing is so lively and vivid, what kind of things do you try to do/avoid to keep from getting too bogged down/being too descriptive/not descriptive enough? Do you have any recommendations for someone feeling like they're in a rut with their writing? Are there any authors/books that inspire you, particularly when it comes to writing smut?

Thank you, what a wonderful comment. I have to laugh though because I just spent my whole morning going “oh god there’s too much exposition in this scene, why, why can’t I just make this concise and aptly descriptive and move on with my life, whyyyyyy I am the woooooorst” and smacking my head off the keyboard.

So i guess in answer to your first question is “idk lol?”

I do tend to read things out loud though, it helps me find the rhythm of the words and cut out anything that sounds jarring or too fiddly. Sometimes I hate it to do it too because I really love a turn of phrase, but if it sounds out of place when reading aloud, then it has to go. I will keep it to one side however, in case there’s another time when I might use it. I have a whole word document that’s just filled with clever things I’m saving for rainy days.

As for being descriptive enough, I like to play with things like that because my inclination is to always gush about small details, even though I know it’s not always good for the narrative. So for instance in my current novel I have two main characters Vlad and Nathan. Vlad tends to be much more detail orientated than Nathan is, so if I want to go off and a spiel about how something looks, such as room furnishings or someone’s attire, I indulge in that through Vlad’s POV.

Nathan for instance, would never notice that Lady Katherine’s gown had pearl buttons at the cuffs, merely that she was wearing a blue dress and it suited her. He’d be more inclined to notice the brightness of a person’s smile over the polish of their shoes.

Vlad on the other hand might describe it as a confection of sky blue silks with a dazzling assortment of adornments, from the pearl buttons at her lace cuffs, to the blue sapphire brooch pinned to her bodice in a tasteful display of style and wealth. He might also note that the cut of the gown was several seasons out of date, but seen as how he’s wearing an eclectic mix of his favorite styles from the last century he’s hardly one to judge.

Doing it this way allows me to play more with my levels of description, without foisting a lot of descriptive narrative onto the reader all the time. It also serves to give the POVs a little more diversity and realness to them, as I often find when you get the same narrative focus from multiple different characters, it can be a little…well unbelievable I suppose. There’s no way Mister Darcy would look at a dress and see the same thing as Elizabeth would, what he might call frippery she might assess to be delicate. So play around with it, try to make it a part of your character narrative and not just you narrating descriptors at your reader, if that makes sense…

As for what to do in a rut, I’ve been severely depressed for months—everything has been a rut.

The way I coped with it creatively was to take my characters out of their established world and drop them somewhere new, or to go off on a tangent like I’m three books in and we’re all good and old. Basically I was writing fanfic of my own work. There’s a different sort of feeling to fanfic compared to the “pressure” of original content, which I am not sure if everyone else gets that feeling, but I used to feel horribly overwhelmed by the thought of “I’ll never compare to XYZ with my own work so I should just stay in this already nicely built playground and share it with friends”. So I’ve just stopped thinking of how much work I need to put into things in terms of world building, and act as though it’s already done. I write the characters like they’re well established and loved characters with many years of world building behind them. It seems to work in that it tricks my brain into thinking “this is still hard work but we’re not terrified to do this”.

One of my other favorite things to do is take characters on a lunch date, drop them somewhere nice like a cafe where they can people watch and do simple things like savor the rich taste of fresh coffee and indulge in internal monologuing which would otherwise bog down by proper narrative. I find doing this helps me to flesh them out more and I come back to my work with a better understanding of who and what I want my characters to be. I do this with places too, take a scene and describe at dawn, noon, afternoon, dusk and midnight. It lets me dilly dally and play with words until my brain clicks on something it likes and once that happens I just keep following that tangent until I find my way back in my narrative. Sort of like a shortcut on a map that ends up taking you the scenic route.

if I’m really struggling I put my work away for anywhere from a day to a month and come back to it with fresh eyes. I go do something else, either I work on something else or I spend my time reading and doing things I enjoy. Creative burn out is a very real thing, and while some people might be able to keep working through it and just keep pushing until they break through, some of us do need time to recharge. So don’t berate yourself for not always working on something. Sometimes the brain just needs to rest and reset.

As for smut, although I edited a lot of professional smut, I still find some of the best smut writers are fanfic writers. Probably because they do it for the genuine love of it and not “for easy money” which sadly a lot of published erotica writers do. There’s a lot of people who think it’s “easy” or like it’s cheapening to their “skills”—which frankly if you feel the need to degrade certain types of genres but you’re still willing to do it for the money, your skill probably isn’t as great as you think it is.

For published small time(ish) writers whose work I enjoy still, Tanith Davenport is a lot of fun sometimes, as is Sierra Cartwright who apparently now has a tumblr: http://devilsden-mastered.tumblr.com/.

Another writer I like to promote was Paige Turner but I currently can’t seem to find her work anywhere :( which is a shame because gay archeologists in the Victorian era was incredibly fun to read and edit.

As for fanfic writers whose smut I enjoy, I’m currently really enjoying @blustersquall‘s “What Lies Behind the Throne” a Dragon Age AU.

@bettydays fanfic and original work is frankly some of my favorite things at the moment, it’s very self aware and refreshing as well as packing an emotional punch of catharsis.

And @canistakahari ’s “here comes the spark” remains my firmest go to happy fic with smut. Like, it’s that one fic if I’m feeling down I just start reading it again and all is right with the world for a little while.

That said I don’t actually read a lot of smut, (perhaps because so much of it bothers me (dear god use lube, USE LUBE) after several years of editing and not being able to resist the urge to want to “fix” things.) instead I prefer to open up a conversation tab and harass either @renegadecupcake, @outsidershrine @jeneelestrange and occasionally @thehuxdeluxe on snapchat and inflict my own thoughts on them until they respond with something just as equally depraved and delightful. That’s always a fun diversion. Some of my best ideas have come from conversations that have started with me going “what if” and the other person going “oh no :)”

So if you struggle with writing smutty ideas, I’d highly suggest getting yourself a group of like minded people who don’t mind getting a text message in the middle of the night that says “how do we feel about gratuitous boot grinding and oral sex?” who may then reply “JOY IT’S THREE AM” followed by “what kind of boots are we talking about tho?”

I hope this helps? I never know if I’m giving useful advice or not, but I hope you’ll find some of it useful <3

Evasive Maneuvers

fobbed!Twelve, Rose Tyler

Malcolm uses self-destruct!  It’s super-effective!

beta’d by the amazing thedoctordanceswithrose

“Rose,” Malcolm says into the intercom, frowning when she fails to reply.  “Rose!” he repeats, and smacks the intercom in irritation before stomping to the door and yanking it open.

“–very, very good at it,” some intern is saying to Rose in the hall.

“I’ll bet you are,” she says with a laugh, and Malcolm freezes when he sees a variation of the flirty, tongue-touched grin she gives the boy–his smile.  “Oh, sorry Tucker, did you need something?”

“My PA, for starters,” he says, eyes shooting daggers at the intern.  “I believe that’s your job title, Miss Tyler.  In your own fucking time.”

He pivots and strides back into his office, blood boiling as he calls himself every sort of idiot his extensive vocabulary can come up with.  He briefly toys with the idea of getting the intern sacked, but dismisses it quickly.  Forget the fucking nights at his flat, or the fucking dreams, forget the fucking, period.  She’s half his age, she’s his PA, for christ’s sake.  So what if she’s making eyes at some young intern?  Of course she would be, it’s to be expected.  It wasn’t as if it was a fucking romance.  It was a dalliance, an affair…one that absolutely was not tearing his heart out just thinking about.

“Done flirting, then?” he asks when she steps into his office, and she gives him an odd look.

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Trace Back the Music: Episodes 3-7

Lately, I’ve been rewatching the episodes again, and it suddenly dawned on me how similar the music in Yuri!!! on Ice was to songs I know in real life. So, I set out on a personal quest to trace down what songs sound similar. So who wants to listen to me find symbolism out of probably nothing, or just repeating whatever other people have said? I do, so the rest of the essay is under the cut.

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anonymous asked:

(Okay, because I'm a massive loser who doesn't know how to talk to people, I'm just gonna go ahead and say what I'm gonna say) So, 1) you're one of my favorite fanfiction authors on tumblr 2) I really want to write some high-quality ereris, but 3) I've never written fanfiction and I don't really know how it works, so I thought I'd come to you. Do you have any advice?

HIGH QUALITY ERERIS YOU SAY? I’m here for that nonnie!

I wrote a similar post before but I couldn’t find it oof, so sorry if this sound redundant to you. Alrighty let’s get this motherfucker bullet pointed!

  • The first rule of fanfiction is to have fun and be yourself. *cheesy grin* No but…seriously. People turn to fanfiction because there is something in the original storyline that they wanted to change. Everyone brings something to the table. You’re bringing your own personal history, your own insight, your own worldview to the story. So when you say that you “don’t really know how it works” well…there are no rules! The world is your oyster and you are the pearl. Write something fun. Write something beautiful. Write something ugly. If you want to write about platonic ereris feeding ducks, I guarantee you someone will want to read it. Hell, I want to read it. Someone write that please?
  • Don’t wait for someone to give you permission. If you want to write, do just that, WRITE. Just fucking write. There is no point waiting until you’re good enough to share your work. Write something. Finish it. You will only get better when you write. Writing is like a muscle, you gotta flex it.

  • Edit. For the love of god, please edit. And not just editing to fix typos or grammar, but editing to fix entire paragraphs and sentences. Edit for continuity, edit for characterization, edit to fill all 5 senses into a work so your audience is completely immersed.

  • Read. If you’re still stuck and you aren’t quite sure you’ve gotten the hang of this fanfiction thing, READ. Use your favorite fics as inspiration. What do you like in fics? Do you like how certain people use settings? Do you like their dialogue? The aura they cultivate? Use what strengths you find in another author to bolster your own strengths.

  • Fics: oneshots vs. chapter. Look, I’ll be real. Chapter fics get more play than oneshots. If you’re just writing oneshots, don’t be surprised people don’t seem to notice it as much when you’re first starting. But keep at it! And chapter fics don’t usually get much of an audience until you’ve progressed further into the storyline. But don’t let that stop you from writing either! Write a good few chapters into your fic (or even finish it!) so you don’t get burnt out and stressed after only 2-3 chapters. 

  • Post during peak hours. Look, I don’t know when peak hours are exactly, but you can’t just drop your first fic in the middle of the night and expect people to see it. I mean, maybe the Australians will see it, but try to aim for peak hours on Ao3 or tumblr. 

  • TAG! Tag if you have any stuff that can be triggering: character death, rape, dubcon, cutting, suicide, abuse, guns, knives, etc. But be careful of overtagging. Tag what is NEEDED to give your audience a good idea what to expect, but don’t overdo it with “Eren just thinks Levi is the cutest!” “Levi makes friends with a crab hahahaha” That stuff can be saved for your fic description. Also: I would read a fic on how Levi made friends with a crab.

  • WRITE A FIC DESCRIPTION! Don’t write “Bleh, I’m not good at these things.” No one is. No one likes writing the blurbs. It’s annoying and HARD. But for you to put so much effort into a work and then not have a fic description is undervaluing your work. Not writing a description is like decorating a beautiful interior, but not painting the chipped outside of your house.

  • Network. I use my tumblr as a way to interact with my favorite authors and artists and to fangirl about ereri and other anime crap. I keep my main blog separate. Mostly bc that blog just has a lot of cats. A lot of cats. But I use this blog to link to my fic. That way it doesn’t just feel like I’m jettisoning my fic into the emptiness of space on Ao3. Ao3 is great because you have an eager and willing audience, but it’s also frustrating because there are so SO many other fics. So use Tumblr, use Twitter. Writing by myself always felt…so fucking lonely. I always had all of these ideas and I would write them out but I never had anyone to share them with. It’s a heavy burden to have a work you really truly care about. It feels like you’re constantly carrying your ship to the shore by yourself. But when you connect with other writers and readers, it starts to feel much lighter. Unburden yourself my friendo. Talk to some people on here. It’ll help you. And you might make friends.

When it comes to High Quality Ereris™ stuff gets a little more complicated.

  • Avoid toxic tropes. Levi is not abusive, stop writing him as such. Eren is not a moe little crybaby, his cries are those of grief and anger. “Shitty brat” got old like two years ago. 
  • If you’re writing smut: CONSENT CONSENT CONSENT. Enthusiastic, verbal consent is fun! I get frustrated also in fics where people act like someone is a “good guy” for asking for consent. No. Consent isn’t a bonus, consent is mandatory. NORMALIZE CONSENT!
  • Be careful using too many tropes in a fic. Sure pastel!fairy!fireman!Eren sounds like fun, but it can be a little busy. You can’t substitute tropes for personality. You can’t substitute tropes for plot! So if you want to write pastel!fairy!fireman!Eren, fucking do that shit, but ask yourself, is the plot of the fic just in Eren’s pastel fairy wings and fireman outift? Is there anything more to his personality? Is there anything more to the story? See Kale’s excellent pickle post @skaletal .

And I have a lot more, nonnie, but this post is already very long. If others have input (and I know they do because I asked for help when writing this post) feel free to add! Come talk to me off anon on chat and we can have fun talking about fics! Happy Writing!~

Why I don’t want an Olicity wedding

Right now you’re going “Wait… what?”  Because it’s jbuffyangel and I that have concocted the whole Olicity wedding theory in the first place.  Why on earth would I promote a theory that I claim not to want?  

Because it’s the theory that makes the most sense. 

I’ve seen snark, sideeye, shade and smirking from those opposed to the theory, saying that we’re so busy promoting this, that we want this so much, that we can’t see the other possibilities.  I would argue with that. Vehemently.  Have those people been in my Twitter DMs, watching Jen and I hashing out all the clues and details like we’re constructing some sort of FBI Suspect Board? I don’t think so.  Have they seen me wailing at Jen and mersayseh that I wanted to find any other option that made more sense?  Doesn’t sound like it.  

In fact, I could argue that these people who are so opposed are only that way because they don’t want it.  Which is probably true and I understand. 

But that’s not how I work.  I deal in facts and logic, yo, and I don’t waste time on speculation that I know has a billion holes in it. So let’s dive into why I *don’t* want this to happen, just to clear up this little misconception, shall we?

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Earlier I read a post about anon hate, and while I agree with most of it, there are a few things that I’d like to point out from the post.

Yes, anon hate is terrible. Yes, I agree that it makes the fandom feel uncomfortable. It can be discouraging, especially if someone who really wants to contribute to the fandom is unsure and unconfident about the work that they put out, and receive negative comments about it that makes them feel their worth as an artist isn’t worth much at all. It doesn’t matter if you contribute art, fanfictions, edits, or other forms of creativity; you don’t even have to be an artist to receive anon hate. The hurt is still the same. It’s not something that should have to be put up with.

The post mentions how the Voltage fandom on Tumblr is welcoming and friendly, and I agree. We’re quick to welcome new users, and are quick to stand up for those who receive anon hate. However, I disagree where it states that our fandom doesn’t have cliques. Comparing the Voltage fandom to other fandoms, I think it’s actually more cliquey than most. People are welcoming, but that’s it; after the welcome, I don’t see much interaction between users except for the same few on my dash. Some of the more “popular” users interact with each other a lot, and I’m not saying that they shouldn’t. You’re free to choose who you want to be friends with. I’m just saying that a lot of these users try their best not to appear cliquey, but it doesn’t always work.

Personally, I found it very hard to interact with other users when I first joined. It was intimidating how close some of the people were, and I wondered if I could ever find people I could become that close with. The few people that I’m close to right now are mostly from interacting with each other on Twitter or private messaging each other. It might sound whiny, but it’s the brutal truth: it’s hard to make friends on a site where no one knows anyone when they first join. I’m not saying we all have to join hands and be besties with each other. However, we should acknowledge that cliques do exist here, and try to keep that in mind when we welcome new people to the fandom. You’re kidding yourself if you think the Voltage fandom doesn’t have any. I’d say that this is probably the most passive aggressively cliquey fandom that I’m part of. But that’s okay, because there’s going to be cliques wherever you go. It doesn’t even have to be in a fandom. Just know that they exist, and don’t try to deny that they do.

While I’m going on a rant, I’d also like to address something in the fandom that’s made me very uncomfortable recently. And I’m sure that I’m not the only one who feels this way.

The fandom has been, in my opinion, over sexualizing the characters in the Voltage fandom. Of course, this is just my opinion. Whatever sexual fantasies you have are your own choice and I completely respect that.

However, I think it’s important to keep in mind that not everyone is comfortable within the same range. The problem isn’t as bad as it used to be a while back, but it’s still a problem. Some of you might say “just block the nsfw tag” but not everyone tags things, or even know how to block tags. Please keep in mind that some of the members of our fandoms are still in middle school, and may be extremely uncomfortable with some of the work that finds its way throughout our fandom. It doesn’t even have to be the younger members; the older members of the fandom may feel uncomfortable as well. It has nothing to do with how “mature” you are. It’s what people feel comfortable with.

While a majority of the smut writers have been keeping their more descriptive parts under read mores, not everyone does. I’d like to ask that all smut writers do so. I know that you want people to read your work, but please understand that not everyone will be happy go to through the Voltage Inc tag and chance upon a smut piece. I sure wasn’t. 

I’d also like to ask that artists who draw smut to put their works under read more breaks. I understand that this may be a slight as an artist, but please keep in mind that your art can legally be considered pornography and that it’s illegal to distribute pornography to minors. A picture is worth a thousand words, and some of don’t want to see it and don’t feel comfortable when we chance upon it by lack of caution on our part or yours. Smut fanfiction is also legally considered pornography.

tl;dr : Anon hate is terrible and don’t do it. Cliques exist in our fandom get over it. And not everyone is comfortable with smut so please put it all under a read more break.

I’ll probably get anon hate for this. I don’t care. Personally I think that if you can’t tell me your opinions without telling me your identity because you’re scared of the backlash that you might get for sending it, then it’s not worth getting bothered over. I might answer a few if they raise good points that I think should be answered, but other than that, they’re going to be deleted. I don’t think that other people should have to suffer because you don’t like me or disagree with my opinions.