i wanted to make this for a long time now but i didn't have the time

cinderella: redo

so i was watching cinderella while doing my nails and waiting for them to dry which was clearly a Mistake because now i can’t help but think -

the evil stepmother was always evil, okay. say her abuse of her own daughters was different than that of cinderella’s - but it was still abuse. giving them impossible expectations, telling them they were never good enough, never pretty enough, never smart enough. and then she gets married, and anastasia and drizella are ecstatic because this man seems kind and warm and maybe just maybe he can temper their mother, maybe with him around she won’t be so cruel. so they’re on their very best behavior in the beginning, they do just as their mother taught - they trot out their best upper court manners in an attempt to get their new stepfather to like them. but it just comes off as cold and snooty and they’re trying, they are, they’re just bad at it. and they see how he is with cinderella, the smiling girl their own age, and they are jealous. they don’t mean to be, they try not to be, they know it isn’t becoming of young ladies. but she gets hugs and kisses and affection and they get rulers slapped on their hands when they reach for desert and sharp jabs to their sides when they slouch and - soon they hate cinderella, not for anything she’s done, but for what she has and they dont

but then her father dies. and it’s all a tumble of things and cinderella is crying and they’ve lost their only chance at escaping their mother’s clutches and it’s terrible. and everything settles and there’s no reason to be jealous anymore but resentment is hard to let go of and they don’t know what to do. they’re only kids too after all. and they’re so terribly bad at comforting people, they can do flowery words and know all the right bows but cinderella is so sad and they just don’t know what to do with that, because they’re supposed to be sisters but they’re not even friends

and slowly but surely their mother starts abusing cinderella, starts making her a maid in her own home, and she’s their mother, what are anastasia and drizella supposed to do? she rules them with an iron fist, and cinderella doesn’t even like them anyway, it’s none of their business.

except one night anastasia crawls into her sister’s bed in the middle of the night and wakes her up. “i was thirsty,” she explains, eyes wide and shiny, and they’re bad at this with other people but drizella has no problems with pulling anastasia into her arms. the younger girl clutches her sister and continues, “i was thirsty and i went down to the kitchen to get some water and - and cinderella is still up! she’s doing the dishes, and she should be asleep, mom is going to make her make breakfast in the morning and -” she cuts herself off with a hiccup and whispers, “it’s not fair.”

“life isn’t fair,” drizella says, echoing one of their mother’s favorite phrases. but her sister is staring at her with wet eyes, and it’s not like their mother is likely to get up before sunrise anyway, she hates waking up, so she pulls herself and anastasia out of bed and off they go.

Keep reading

5

hello everyone, today I’m bringing you: a Fantastic Beats AU where everything is the same except everyone has a dæmon

disclaimer: this AU is very self-indulgent and I haven’t thought out all details and impracticalities of it, so please don’t nitpick. anyway,

- only witches and wizards are born with dæmons, muggles don’t have them

- a lot of dæmons settle as birds seeing as it’s more convenient form that can follow its human when they travel via flying objects like broomsticks

- both Grindelwald and Graves have large birds of prey as their dæmons; the birds are different, but look similar enough to be mixed up by anyone who doesn’t pay too much attention (this is another reason for Graves to be extremely salty once they find him after the whole Grindelwand infiltration incident; “I can’t believe you fools couldn’t tell one bird from another,” he keeps saying. “Maybe I should summon that Scamander guy back in America and ask him to give you all a few zoology lessons.”)

- Tina’s dæmon is an english setter, Queenie’s is a dove

- Credence’s dæmon is a black cat, for two reasons, one of them being me finding it aesthetically pleasing, and the second is that it’d probably piss Mary Lou off even more because there’s a lot of superstitions around black cats plus all that stuff about them being familiars of witches

- when Credence was a child, and his dæmon could still change its form, it took shape of small animals/birds/insects so that Credence was able to hide it from Mary Lou in his pockets; then it settled as a black cat and Credence started having a really hard time keeping it from Mary Lou’s eyes

- I wasn’t sure about Newt’s dæmon, only knowing that I wanted it to be an animal he can carry around on his shoulder so it’d constantly pick fights with Pickett much to Newt’s agitation; then someone I was discussing this AU with suggested an occamy and I ran with it. maybe it doesn’t exactly fit him personality-wise, but it’s my favourite magical creature so I just kind of. put two of my faves together. personal bias much? why yes, absolutely

- (or, you know, Pickett himself could be Newt’s dæmon instead, now that I think of it; those drawings can be read as either of these two options)

- yes, magical creatures can also be dæmons, because why the hell not; I guess it’s just not that common, and if your dæmon settles as one it’s a sign that you’re most likely an eccentric and unpredictable person (and isn’t that what annoys other people)

okay I’m done and please for the love of god don’t delete this long ass comment

Moon thru the signs 🌙
  • Aries: emotionally comfortable in the thick of firey adventure, extremely uncomfortable with stagnation in life, things always need to be exciting, they are on the go go go towards new life, will shake things up even if that means they have to ruffle some feathers, they can't sit still with the concept of boring.. Feeling bored is something they have no patience for. The sense of Self is a strong component to their emotional balance.. "What do I need right now? Will this feel right for me? Is this what I want to do?" Aries is all about personal will. They need to feel like they are expressing that will in ways that ignite their passion. Being forced into exerting energy towards something they don't care about is a deep root of distress. Emotionally quick tempered, their emotions are always evolving and morphing into something new..their emotions hit them like fireballs that encompass their entire being.. In the heat of their emotions that moment is the biggest and most intense moment ever ever ever !!! ...for a few minutes.. Then they're onto something new. When your Aries Moon is flying around on fire in the heat of their emotions, sit with them and LISTEN to the experience they are having. A deep therapy for the Moon here is to be able to express their emotions to you within their personal "I" experience. They matter a lot to themselves. Hold space for this.
  • Taurus: slowww and calmmm, Apple pie and lemon balm... I've seen this placement be wonderful and disastrous.. These people are comfortable in their home, in sensual pleasures, earthly delights. In a lower context they are way too attached to the material world, they will acquire so much random stuff that they don't know what to do with themselves but they feel like they need all the stuff.. If they ever got to a moment where they needed something completely random and they didn't HAVE that random thing.. Well that would be distressing for them. While their dependence on the material world can hold them back at times, it is absolutely admirable just how deeply in touch with it they are. They take the home very seriously, they are ones who will just stay home and be grounded instead of going out and running around in life.. Like a happy bear in its cave.. Within that cave there they are listening to awesome beautiful music, making great food, working with herbs, stacking wood, loving their good company.. Why would they ever want to leave that ?? Because there's a whole world out there moon in Taurus.. A whole world:)their emotions hit them on a bodily earthly level where they process and move through the emotional realm with the help of the natural world.. A moon in Taurus needs to be connected with nature more than any other moon.. They are the grounded ass f**kers.. They are emotionally comfortable BEING grounded.. So on the flip side when they can't find grounding or comfort in their material home they are in a state of perpetual chaos..
  • Gemini: emotionally comfortable anywhere and everywhere!! As long as they're having fun and being stimulated by interesting things it's all good! Moon in gemini's really can and will talk to any sort of person. They are comfortable in any situation they are in. Moon in gemini's often have to learn how to find a home within themselves, they could be all dirty playing music on the side of the street with a nice hobo, or they could be in a rich million dollar apartment around a ton of people they don't know.. Where ever they are, they are super curious and interested in everything happening.. Happy to be there..Needing that stimulation from all things interesting.. They are very socially adaptable folk.. They know how to dissect conversation and meet people where they are at.. Which often entails them wearing a mask and not being their truest self.. Being who someone wants you to be in a situation.. It can be distressing at times once they realize how much energy they put into connecting with ones on a shallow level, it takes a lot out of them, they have to bring it back and realize.. Yes this is all fun and good but they ones who will feed my soul are the ones who KNOW my soul.. As for emotions.. It's mutable so the experience of emotions is very impacted from the rest of the chart but this conscious moon energy really rationalized and intelecualitzes emotions.. Sometimes they box their emotions up for a rainy day.. They need to learn how to let themselves feel emotions, they have emotions but they are literally capable of making themselves not feel them.. A way a moon in Gemini would relax and calm down would be through researching, chatting, and thinking about thing.. Here the moon lives within the mind. (My placement)
  • Cancer: to put it simply, uncontrollable emotional state. This is a beautiful thing.. Moon in cancers have an emotional inner world that renders a fine work of art.. So many colors. What they experience in the waters of human emotion is special and unique because the moons archetype is fully at home here.. The moon is felt deeply in this person.. There's so much beauty.. But the conflict here is that the cancer moon doesn't have control of their emotional state, so it can be really difficult to do things because their FEELINGS are first priority.. They are likely to feel more comfortable within the comfort of soft lights, warm tea, nice fireplace, and loving company. However this is fully dependent on the rest of their chart. Water signs are fluid. Maybe they are more emotionally comfortable partying and having adventure because of a Mars in Aries and a sun in Saggitarius.. no matter what influences their emotional world goes so deep. They care. They want to nurture. They FEEEEEEEL. The moon is integral for these people, its important for them to connect with the moon through ritual or meditation.. This will help balance their emotions.. Even if they don't understand it on a conscious level, creating a personal relationship with the moon will subconsciously help them with emotional balance. A moon in Cancer wants to make you feel safe. They want to take care of you and your emotions. They will give so much... Sometimes too much.
  • Leo: these ones feel comfortable in the spotlight, whether that is within an intimate relationship, their family, their social sphere, or literally on a stage.. their comfort state lies within broadcasting their life for all to see. They have a need to share everything.. they want to share themselves, share their experience, their relationships, even the clothing on their back. This moon energy is so warm and generous. In return, these ones need a lot of admiration, attention, and affection in their relationships, they need to feel validated through being so expressive or insecurity will arise. Moreso than other Leo placements, the Moon here truly needs that attention from others, their emotional state depends on it. They draw life energy through being among different influxes of energy and shining their bright creative light within it. As for emotions, they are dramatic, hopeless romantic sonnets of internal poetry for the ones they love, dramatic boisterous crying when a sharp chord is struck, or totally uncontrollable angry fire rage when provoked. A series of extremes. They must channel their emotions into creative expression, they must have people who can give them the attentiveness they need in their bouts of emotion. Pushing them away will hurt them. They want to be close to you, themselves, their life.. they don't want to feel separate and distant. You'll find your moon in Leo being the life of the party, the friend in the group who brings all of the creative fun, their light is strong.. Its their emotional state. This placement has its challenges but I find it so beautiful.
  • Virgo: A strong need for everything to be in order, for life to be in order in all of its finer details. Whether the moon in Virgo reaches that or not reveals their level of emotional balance. They are going through life on the outside looking in. Anylizing, discerning, critiquing, this will either be deeply channeled inward, outward, or both. If you meet a Virgo Moon who does have their life in order, looks put together, has a clean organized place to live, is actively working and integrating into the structure of the world.. They are probably emotionally balanced.. And their emotions express themselves as a steady stream of relaxation due to a success of implementing order in chaos. So on the flip side.. If you meet a Virgo Moon who, to put it simply, does not have their shit together.. They are likely extremely ungrounded with their emotions scattered everywhere and nowhere living in the mercury depth of their overactive mind. They process their emotions by THINKING, they need to understand everything about what it is they are feeling and why before they can ever reach a state of peace in that feeling. Overthinking, irrational worrying, vicious self criticism are shadow elements to this placement. This is a very challenging place for the Moon. The moon is the fluid intuitive waters of emotion and Virgo is the Mercury virginal energy of mental structure and organization fine tuning life to be perfect. They don't exactly mesh well together in their natural archetypes. However, if an individual has a well aspected Virgo moon or learns how to make good use of this placement.. its an extremely competent energy. Their life will be ordered and structured to the 9's.. No worry will ever need to surface about anything because they have their shit together in the most perfect way. And in that state they experience ultimate relaxation.
  • Libra: to feel emotionally comfortable these people need a balance. They need to feel like there is a balance in their workplace, relationships, home life, and within themselves. They need to feel like there is an equal contribution on the part of everyone involved in every aspect of life, that everyone is contributing equally to establishing a balance. If it's imbalanced there is distress.. A distress that either causes emotional turmoil or a distress that motivates them to mediate the energy of the imbalanced situation. They have a very calm and .. Well.. Balanced approach to their emotions. It hits them in an intellectual way where they really observe everything they are feeling and transmute it into a steady stream of balance. They could repress emotions because of this. If emotions are going upppp and doowwwwnn they are gonna try and pull it to the center and push it forward. A continuous evolution of feeling. This steady stream causes them to have challenge with experiencing intensity of emotion.. To experience the full spectrum of emotion.. They don't want their emotions to hold them back or bring them out of alignment in any way. Hence, the repression.. And repressing anything leads it to bubble up and explode... That's where the intensity comes in.. When the bottled up and down emotions are forced up to the surface they HAVE to face it and deal with it or else they feel unable to move forward. Another component to this placement is that they Deffinetly feel emotionally comfortable and fulfilled with Venusian things.. They are gonna really value art, atheistic beauty, the beauty of ones soul, physical features, and emotions.. Because it fills THEIR emotion to experience such pleasure. The pleasureful side of life integrates with them on a deep level. They are likely to be pretty romantic in relationships, they completely romanticize and paint their love emotions like a beautiful painting of exquisite design.. Whether the reality of the love experience lives up to that is either their emotional challenge or their emotional exaltation.
  • Scorpio: INTENSE EMOTIONAL WORLD. Uncontrollable deep waters of emotion like moon in cancer.. Accept in a life or death kind of way. Emotions go to the core of ones soul. "I LOVE you." "I HATE you" "You have BETRAYED me" "I NEED you" Nothing is shallow or superficial in their emotional world..they are literally incapable of that. These people will love you to death, litterally. There is a likely hood for possessiveness with this placement. A likelyhood for nothing to be taken lightly. I remember I was babysitting a moon in Scorpio girl one time and she dropped a bunch of cards or something and they were scattering everywhere inbetween the couch cushions. I watched this girl get so distressed, heavy breathing, intense look on her face, super not at ease as she was trying to collect everything that just fell apart. My Virgo self completely cleaned up and organized the cards for her. She was passionately thankful that turmoil was taken care of for her. These people are very perceptive.. They have a really acute sense of awareness in their surroundings.. The psychic eyes.. They pick up on the subtleties around them.. They are empathetic to the energies in their life. There is a strong possibility for metaphysical psychic ability with this placement of they are exalting their energy. A moon in Scorpio on the light side will have a deep power and capacity to have such an amazing passionate colorful emotional world. A less evolved moon here will be experiencing such intense emotions they can't help but burn bridges with people. Their emotional needs and requirements are strong. With this placement they are also likely to keep their emotions very secretive from the world. They don't think anyone needs to know what they are feeling. This can cause deception and being super guarded in themselves. On the flip side, there is a powerful opportunity for transformational beauty when they do open up their inner world to someone. I'd say overall moon in Scorpio is awesome but it's extremely challenging. Like the moon in any water signs- emotions come FIRST.
  • Sagittarius: ahh the endless explorers of life. These individuals need a sense of expansion in their life to feel emotionally fulfilled. They need hope, inspiration, purpose, a promise of adventure.. Of growth.. Of a new horizon. They are comfortable in the action of expansion, whether that is going to a new place, learning something, or integrating into new relationships. It's hard to emotionally pin them down. They are on the move in their fluid state. In a relationship they need some who can hold space and swim with their currents because of they are in a flux state of perpetual evolution in regards to their emotional world. Like moon in Gemini or Aries.. They are so forward directed with going towards some new energy with their emotions.. They can be flakey. With these folk there can be room for emotional shallowness. Not always, but Saggitarus is the one who wants to have fun! They are the lighthearted archers prancing through all of the parties and people and foreign lands. It is a potential challenge for them to get caught up in some dense, heavy, stagnant emotional turmoil. They don't want to experience turmoil, they want to be having a good time! However, this is a fire sign.. The heat of their emotions DOES hit them. It's not like moon in libra where intense emotions come in and immediately get brought to a neutral line of balance. No, the intensity of emotion IS there. It's a matter of them taking the time to let them go deep into uncomfortable emotions. They would rather not be concerned with uncomfortable emotional depth at all if they didn't have to. But they have to deal with it or they will totally explode into a fire ball of saggitarius aggression. Give your little moon in Saggi some space in the heat of emotional turmoil and know that with a gentle touch and soft heart they will come to a place of opening up their emotional world with you.
  • Capricorn: Emotions here are very guarded. This is a hard placement for the waters of the moon. One may even fear their emotions with this placement, they may be mechanical and cold in this sense. Their emotions will not be tolerated if it's holding them back in anyway. Their emotional comfort lies in knowing they are competently moving forward into success with their life. The feeling of having their shit together is key for emotional balance. A moon in Cap won't want to be held back due to their emotional world. This is powerfully beneficial because they can really get shit done without having to deal with any of that cancer moon emotional stuff. However unless there is water in other places in their chart.. It leaves them in a place of emotional lack. They just aren't capable of feeling to the extent that others do because they don't let themselves. And that can be a conflict in itself because maybe it would give them a deeper feeling of competence if they COULD feel how others do. They really need to feel safe and secure and sturdy before they open up their inner world to someone. You have to win their trust to get to break that shell. This placement has a lot of good potential but also an immense possibility for challenge. With any moon, especially this one, that is all correspondent to the other aspects in a chart.
  • Aquarius: Emotionally comfortable in the realms of individualism.. they like their own kind of music, their own style, their own unique "fit" into the world.. They are emotionally satisfied in their inner world of "ME". Not "me" in the bright beaming self-centered way of Leo, no, its in the sense of "I am standing here feeling so different than all of you people" Whether they find solace or distress in that.. its a deep archetype that they feel. These people are living on the outside looking in- they are extremely extremely observant. They often they feel separate and detached out in the world, observing, putting all of the pieces together like mechanical machinery. They are very interested in life, in you, in your thoughts, in why things the way they are. They are taking it all in. With their emotions they need a lot of space to process it. They can really distance themselves from their emotions and the people who are making them feel emotions. Emotions are a lot for them to intellectually grasp, they want to grasp and come to an understanding of every facet of it, and they need time on their own to do this. Theres also room with this placement for close mindedness towards other ways of doing things. There is a likely hood for these people to feel they are doing and handling things they absolute best way possible, better than anyone else, they know how to handle their emotions, their life, their inner world. Its possible for arrogance and ignorance to be found here. Maybe they do really know how to handle their inner world better than how you think they can..... But also maybe... They really could use a word of advice. Theres a rigidness to this moon placement. These people find self-justified satisfaction in doing things exactly the way they think they should do it, it eases their emotional realm. There is room for complacency in arrogance here as their is room for extremely positive inner innovation and evolution of self.
  • Pisces: Your inner world is the ocean. Where does it begin? Where does it end? You don't know, actually, no one knows. Your emotions are the definition of fluid. Interchangeable and uncontrollable. You are melting into your emotions. When you fall in love, you FALL in LOVE. When you feel sorrow, you FEEL sorrrrrrowww. Emotions are so real for you. You feel your emotions in your blood. Your emotional world is operating in the dreamstate. You are comfortable in ethereal experiences, the surreal beauty of nature, the most amazing poem recited at a word slam, looking deep into the eyes of your lover. Life just holds a more surreal note for you. When you feel emotionally comfortable, every single particle of who you are integrates into a peace and calm of giving everything to the moment of emotional comfort. When you feel emotionally uncomfortable, red sirens are going off in your being, everything is viciously not okay. You might have issues with boundaries, you let people in so deep into your emotional realm and you share so much. Yet, when you draw a boundary, you aggressively instate it into being. You want what you want, you may disregard what is good for you, or you may draw every boundary in the book to make sure whats happening is good for you. No matter what situation you're in- good or bad, you're in it for the feeling, for the essence, the energy. Moon in Pisces will bring you into a different world.
  • Pete: Hi
  • Brendon: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
AU MASTER LIST

So here is a bunch of AU’s that I’ve collected over…. a long time. Enjoy

Awkward Meetings

  • I broke your nose in a mosh pit, sorry
  • I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital, this is sort of awkward, are you okay?
  • You’re getting chased by the police and you just jumped in my car and yelled drive, wtf man
  • You just punched me in the face while gesturing wildly to a friend, your friend can’t stop laughing and im too shocked to respond to your apologies
  • You laughed in a restaurant, but your laugh is really weird and I thought you were choking so I’m awkwardly humping you while attempting to perform the Heimlich manoeuvre and why isn’t this working, you’re just choking harder now this is aweful
  • We met on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame
  • I get really sick on roller-coasters and you are sitting in front of me, im so sorry
  • You’re the bastard who keeps parking in front of my house and you just caught me drawing a dick on your window with a permanent marker… ugh, oops.
  • I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold another fucking shirt and just leave it, I’m going to fucking shove it down your throat
  • You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friends place and I should call the cops by my cat likes you so????
  • You’re my new dealer and you just friended me on Facebook and idk how to react to that
  • You saw me reading the same book you are and now we are arguing about the motives of the antagonist
  • This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and  you’re deathly afraid of flying. 
  • I got into a cab to find someone already inside
  • You thought I was your friend/sister
  • Holy shit, im in the wrong car.
  • I was walking by a roller coaster and your shoe flew off and hit me in the head and now I’m on the floor trying not to fall unconscious.
  • It’s 2am and I’m drunk and I need some salt for my fries and I know your awake so OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR
  • You fell asleep on me in the subway and I should probably wake you up and its my stop next stop but it’s okay, I can always just catch the subway back…
  • I know nothing about camping and all my friends left me at the site. Please, help me, I think I just heard a bear
  • This has been a shitty week and you just grabbed the last box of my favourite comfort food from the shelf, do you really want to fight me rn?
  • We met in a movie theatre and now you’re clinging to me because your terrified and I’m okay with that because it means I get your popcorn.
  • You had a party and I got really drunk and stole your microwave, so now I’m at your place and your super hungover so here, I made breakfast?

Neighbour/Roomate

  • The guy living below me has a really loud alarm clock that always wakes me up at the crack of dawn
  • I went to investigate a scream and found my neighbour standing on a chair to avoid a rat/mouse/cricket (etc.)
  • My neighbour has a really squeaky bed and my bedroom is below theirs
  • You keep stealing my doormat and HAH, I’ve got you this time thief!
  • The apartment above me has left their tap on or something and water is leaking through my ceiling
  • My neighbour’s sibling got the wrong house number and barged into my apartment on accident.
  • My roommate keeps stealing my coffee so now I make extra 
  • You’re my new neighbour and wow man, you have some really weird habits.
  • You’re my neighbour and you are stealing my wifi to watch porn and can you not?
  • You locked yourself outside of your apartment and there’s a storm rolling in and I pity you so please come into my apartment I’ll make you hot chocolate?
  • I heard you singing at 3 am and joined in and now you’re at my door and wtf mate I think your drunk but your voice is really nice so?
  • I just set the fire alarm in our building off again… sorry. I know its like the fourth time this week…
  • You keep mowing your lawn when I’m trying to sleep and seriously FUCK YOU
  • My new neighbour is really hot and wow I didn’t even like women until now? And now she is in the garden planting flowers in her bikini wow… im in too deep
  • It’s 3 am and you’re blasting off classic rock at full volume and your music taste might be awesome but soME PEOPLE are trying to sLEEP
  • We’ve never met but we shower at the same time and our showers are on opposite sides of the same apartment wall so sometimes we start duets?

Pets

  • I’m out walking and my dog started chasing your dog. 
  • My cat/dog ran away and you just found it but refuse to accept the reward. 
  • We are neighbours and your cat got my cat pregnant… so, wanna raise this little kitty family?
  • My pet tarantula/snake (etc) escaped and I forgot to warn the guy below me who is terrified of snakes/spiders
  • I need you to pet sit my pet for a while and I forgot to mention it’s a snake, the mice are in the freezer. Thanks, bye
  • My cat really hates you cat and that’s the third time this week I’ve had to pry them apart.
  • My cat keeps breaking into your apartment and it ate all your plants… dinner to make up for it?
  • My cat sneaked out on the balcony and into your open window and he has this habit of destroying furniture and pissing everywhere so I followed him inside and you cam home earlier than I expected and found me in the middle of your living room and honestly I’m not a burglar
  • Your dog likes me a thousand times better than she likes your partner and sorry not sorry I love this dog
  • You were walking your dog when you found me passed out on a park bench and thank you for waking me up and buying coffee instead of stealing my wallet

Music

  • I’m on a bus and wow, you’re singing really loudly and everyone is giving you weird looks, hey bud, tone it down, also great choice in music
  • You play Double Bass/Cello and I play 1st chair Violin and we keep making eye contact and damn your super cute.
  • You play in an orchestra and I love these songs so much, plus you’re really cute. Shit man, you’ll never notice me in the huge crowd…
  • Music is kinda illegal and my friend just died and apparently he wrote music and wow I want to know what it sounds like and to play it at his funeral but I don’t know how to. You’re a well-known music dealer, do you happen to understand these notes? Can you help me?
  • I tried to act cool at this concert and I thought I was leaning on a wall but apparently it was a speaker and now it’s on the ground in pieces and everyone’s glaring at me… sorry?

Supernatural

  • I’m a wizard and I just accidently apparated into your house. Oops.
  • I died over 2000 years ago and you’ve been dead for like 2 hours, man, damn it now I have to explain this shit to you. Great.
  • I’m immortal and you’re mortal and I don’t know how to explain this to you and soon enough you’re going to realise that I’m not aging… shiiittt
  • You’re a greek god and I’m the roman counterpart. 
  • I’m a ghost and your alive and I think I’m in love with you…. Fuck. 
  • You’re a faun and I’m a Satry
  • I’m half demon and people often judge me based on my looks, but your blind and wow you actually like me? 
  • I’m a time traveller and I went back in time and wow I think I’m in love with you, fuck this isn’t good, I just faked being George Washington… wait what? George Washington doesn’t exist here? Shit… I actually am George Washington.
  • I’m a writer and your my character and wtf how the heck did you just literally climb out of my first draft? 
  • I’m a werewolf but I don’t want to tell you because my wolf form might be that really small chihuahua you keep mentioning you see when I go out…
  • I’m an android and you’re a human and wow what is that warmth I feel when I see you?
  • I’m a homesick telepath and you’re the poor soul who is receiving all these emotions, sorry
  • Somehow I’m in your body and you’re in mine and shit man being this close to the ground is fucked up.
  • I’m a genie an d you rubbed my lamp so congrats you get three wishes but you can’t seem to think of shit and why the fuck do I have to be stuck with you? Hurry up and think of some wishes okay?
  • I was an awful angel and as punishment I have to be your guardian angel and wow your super cute and nice but I still hate you
  • You keep having strange dreams that turn out to be us in a past life and you’re determined to fine me again but in this life I’m already dead.
  • We live in the year 3090, you’re a scientist and I’m your assistant. Unfortunately and experiment goes wrong and I die. Now you’re trying to put my brain into a robot but its not the same
  • I’m a vampire and I have a moment of weakness, you’re nearby and lets just say it doesn’t end well
  • I’m a dragon and you’re a really hot prince, that’s right, they locked up the wrong royalty.
  • You’re a pirate and I’m a siren and woah… are you asexual? That’s so cool, hey wait, don’t go I just want to talk
  • Your mirror is a doorway into my dimension and I can see everything…. 
  • Listen I am genetically modified and you WILL let me hide in your house
  • Ok, so I panicked and kissed this human so he wouldn’t drown. And I know you don’t want me to keep him, and we can’t let him leave if he knows about us mere people so what do you want to do?

School/College

  • I just got partnered with you in dance class and I can’t dance for shit
  • You’re my science lab partner and how the fuck did you just explode that beaker?
  • I’m an art student and you just found my sketchbook and you’re going through it. Shit man can you give that back, I don’t care how good you think they are just don’t turn that page…
  • You’re the school dork and I’m the school jock and fuck you can see where this is going
  • We are the only two kids who ride this school bus, maybe we should carpool?
  • I thought you were my roomies new boyfriend so I invited you in but your actually the RA of the dorm and now you think I want to have sex with you
  • I accidently flooded the laundry room and you really need to do laundry
  • You’re sitting in my seat in this lecture and who even are you? I’ve never seen you before… wait what, stop checking me out!
  • We argued so much during a class discussion that we both got kicked out and we’re still arguing outside the class
  • You left your USB in the library computer and I had to go through your files to figure out who you are and in the end I read the entirety of this book you’re working on and wow you’re really good?
  • I’m a traditional painter who has to take a basic Photoshop class, you’re a graphic design major sitting next to me and getting sucked into helping me out because Im so shitty at this
  • My pottery bowl exploded in the kiln and I feel like a failure, you found me crying about it in the hallway and are now trying to comfort me and your sweater is really soft wow sorry
  • You and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and fuck it I’m trying to study over her so fuck you I’m going to put an end to this game by winning 
  • We are both teachers and at the end of the year we compare how many gifts we’ve received from student and you’ve won for the past three years
  • Romeo and Juliet of the math and English departments 
  • I want to get along with you roomie… but I like star wars… and you like star trek… this isn’t going to work.
  • I usually talk to my friends through morse code in class but… apparently you know morse too… and now you know I think your butt is cute
  • I got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and now I’m being adopted by someone who is really hot OH FUCKING NO

Near Death Experiences

  • Wow I was just in a fatal accident and who the hell are you? What is this I’m I dying? Wait no, I don’t want this, how do I get out of it? A deal you say, I’ll take it.
  • You’re an executioner and I’m about to be executed but you can’t seem to run the guillotine, wait what, why are we running away, man you’re my favourite executioner
  • Our plane/boat crashed and now it’s just us on this island. 
  • I just took a super dangerous job and your trying to talk me out of it, but we really need the money
  • It’s the middle of a war and I’m on a ship that you’re ship just torpedoed. Now I’m a prisoner and wow why can’t I feel my legs. I’m not cooperating until I can feel them again. What the fuck do you mean I’m paralysed?
  • I’m addicted to ____ (drugs/alcohol etc) and you found me in an alleyway due to after effects of my addiction (beat up, overdose etc) and decide to take me in.
  • I sold my soul to bring you back to life and I don’t have long left please make this time count

Mistaken and Secret Identities

  • I’m  a thief/hacker/murder and you’ve found out my identity and have been bugging me for days to take you on as your partner
  • I’m a superhero and you want to be like me but in doing so become a supervillain, what do you mean you don’t understand why I’m punching you?
  • I’m a superhero, you’re a supervillain, but we don’t know each other’s identities and we are actually best friends
  • I’m runaway royalty and you’re a commoner, fuck I’m so screwed I need your help, I’ll explain later
  • You think I’m a celebrity and you’re talking too much for me to explain I am defintely not… that dude. What was his name again?
  • You’re a superhero and I’m your best friend and what the fuck man? Why the hell didn’t you tell me? If you had maybe I would be fucking caught with this stupid ass monologue-ing villain
  • I have a very cute neighbour and very thin walls and one day I call you and err… your moans are very synchronised with my neighbour's…
  • I’m a superhero and you’re a supervillain and I saw you visiting kids at the children’s hospital and letting them act like they defeated you and now it’s really hard to punch you in the face

Profession Based

  • Your my mailman and I can’t help but notice that you linger at my door slightly longer than you need to ever since you saw me that one time. Do you want to come inside?
  • I’m a private detective and your my client and fuck man you’re in some deep shit
  • You’re a protester and I’m a police officer. Seriously can you please calm down a little bit, this is my job not my  beliefs.
  • I’m a make-up artist/hair stylist and I you’re an actor/model and are you flirting or???
  • You’re a celebrity and sorry mate, I have to take pictures to pay rent, I know its invasive seriously, sorry
  • You’re a store clerk and fuck, is that my ex? Can I please hide behind this counter?
  • You’re a lifeguard at my kid’s swimming competition and I fell in the pool with all my clothes on and you awkwardly tried to save me even though I didn’t need it.
  • You work at a pet store and I came in to look at tarantulas but somehow we lost the biggest one and its loose somewhere in the store and it really doesn’t help that you’re terrified of spiders
  • I’m a firefighter and you started a fire in your kitchen but you’re still flirting with me even though you’re not wearing pants and I’m carrying you down a ladder. Stop complimenting my muscles for fucks sake
  • We work at the same company and I kind of had a crush on you until I noticed that you’re the asshole stealing my lunch from the office fridge.
  • I’m a firefighter and you live near the station I work at and we talk/flirt with each other a lot. One day me and my team get called to put out a fire and it’s your home ablaze. You don’t make it.
  • I work at a fruit store and you come in almost every day and rearrange stuff on the shelves and then leave. Today you made the apples spell ‘call me’
  • It’s 2am and I was just trying to get home but I left my sunroof open all day and now there’s a squirrel in my car and it scared me and I drove into a pole - stop laughing! You’re a cop, aren’t you supposed to be helping?
  • You’re drunk and want my name tattooed on your ass.
  • You always bring your dates to the restaurant I wait at and now you’re here alone… you okay mate?

Winter Times

  • It’s snowing and I usually walk to work but that’s not happening, hey roomie, can you please drive me? Yes I know its 4am
  • I accidently gave all my winter clothes to charity over the summer and not its not so much summer, but I’m broke and hey… could you give me your old winter clothes… maybe?
  • I love the cold, but I promised to visit you for a good 4 months and wow, why did I do this? There isn’t snow here?
  • I don’t know you, but you just threw a snowball at my face, mate, its on.
  • I don’t know who the hell you are, but my roommate has someone over and It’s really cold outside…. Can I come in? Or like, have a blanket, or even a towel?

Old Friends

  • I knew you in high school and I ran into you at a renaissance fair wearing full knight regalia
  • I met you once when I was 12, we started a pen-pal relationship across the world and haven’t stopped even though we are a lot older now. 
  • You were my best friend when we were younger but your family moved to the other side of the world, and we haven’t talked in years. But now your back and wow how did you recognise me when I can’t even remember your name?

Fake Dating

  • I hired you to be my date for a wedding but your super cute, maybe we cannot fake-date? 
  • I’m fake dating you to have someone to vent to on family gatherings while also pissing off my conservative uncle that I never liked and wow… have your eyes always been this nice?
  • We’re both cosplayers and we somehow always manage to meet each other at cons dressed as a popular ship and people always want photos of us in compromising positions and so we always end up fake-dating the entire day but you’re actually really hot and I’m head over heels for you
  • My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex, quick make out with me, I’ll pay you.

Miscellaneous

  • I’m blind and wow your voice is absolutely beautiful can you just keep talking? Forever? Please?
  • My younger sibling is besties with your sibling and even though we hate each other I guess we’ve got to start hanging out a little
  • We are both at a grocery store at am and you offered to arm wrestle me for the last box of cereal, its on!
  • You’re sleeping on my best friend’s couch while your house is being renovated and you have really weird habits like attempting to sing opera in the shower and you keep eating all my Nutigrain 
  • We bump into each other every Friday at the supermarket to buy the same ice-cream and maybe we should eat it together?
  • Our parents are dating and thank god I’m not the only one pissed off about this
  • I went to museum to get some inspiration and then I saw you staring at one of the paintings in awe and wow you just noticed me drawing you and this is awkward
  • I decide to take a shortcut home that involves crawling through a really tight hole in a fence and I end up getting stuck and you just happened to pass by and now you’re laughing at me
  • I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because I could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly
  • We are trapped in a bank during a robbery
  • Your country is trying to take over mine and I might be a little attracted to you and stop this it’s really hard to retaliate okay?
  • I was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me
what's a fire and how does it - what's the word? - burn

so i have this disney playlist i listen to usually when i’m driving and i was blasting poor unfortunate souls this morning and i was thinking

what if ariel didn’t sign the scroll?

because she’s about to, okay, and she looks at the paper. the parchment made of seaweed, the ones that’s specially treated to survive underwater. and she thinks of her cave of treasures, her books that remain perfectly preserved underwater. “no thank you,” she says slowly, becoming keenly aware of air of this place, of the not-people she’d seen who hadn’t been able to pay the price for sea witch’s bargain. “i – no. thank you. but no.”

ursula tries to convince her otherwise, but ariel runs. she goes back to her cave, destroyed as it was by her father’s anger, and thinks.

she’s the daughter of triton. her books never got wet, though she lives in the ocean. she feels a pull inside her, to the land, to somewhere else, but what if – what if –

what if she doesn’t need the sea witch or her father to perform magic for her? what if she has her own?

ursula had wanted her voice because that’s how she performed her magic. singing in this cave had given it powers and protection, and when she saved her prince from the sea – she sang then too, to keep him safe, to guide him back to life and away from death.

so she has magic. she only needs to figure out how to use it.

so that’s what ariel does now. she’s quiet and keeps to herself, and her father and sisters think that it’s because she’s upset with her father, that she’s busy licking her wounds. she’s moved on from that. she has no trident, and is uninterested with fueling her magic with the souls of the damned like ursula has. so she needs to figure something else out.

she does what she’s not supposed to do, and goes where she’s not supposed to go, slipping past the guards and patrols to the one place in the sea that is forbidden to all of them.

the crevice in the earth where what remains of her grandmother lives.

ariel goes to amphitrite, and the sea goddess is so much bigger than ariel, the size of great whale as she curls at the bottom of the sea floor, too old and too tired to do anything more than sleep. “granddaughter,” the great being croaks, opening an eye as blue and as unfathomable as the sea, “you look like me.”

“they say i look like my mother,” she says, and to herself adds: that’s why father can barely stand to look at me.

“you have more of me in you than your mother,” she says, and she shifts and pulls her mass of red hair over her shoulder. “more of me in you than your father does, even.”

“i have magic,” she says, pulling her bravery to the fore as she swims closer to her grandmother, “i want you to teach me how to use it.” amphitrite pushes herself up, and it’s the first time she’s moved in a millennia, and ariel notices for the first time that her grandmother isn’t a mermaid – she has legs.

she has legs.

“you have power,” amphitrite corrects fiercely, “and i will teach you to wield it.”

and so she does. ariel spends her nights by her grandmother, learning to harness the power of the sea that runs in her veins, and sleeps her days away while her sisters and flounder and sebastian grow more and more concerned, but she refuses to tell them why. she refuses to be stopped.

but her heart still aches. she fell in love with her prince, and she wants him still. so she swims to the edge, goes to the beach where his castle resides in the dead of night when her lessons with her grandmother are complete, and sings

. she’s careful not to let any magic leak through, only her voice. she does not want to enchant him. she wants him to love her as she is. so she sings, her voice clear and powerful and cutting through the air. she hopes he can hear it.

then one day a figure walks to the beach, and it’s him, her prince. “hello?” he calls out, “are you out there? are you – please, it was you that saved me, wasn’t it? won’t you come out and let me see you?”

so she does, waves her tail at him until he catches sight of her and takes hesitant, disbelieving steps closer.

“you’re a mermaid,” he says, eyes wide, “i thought i saw – but it couldn’t be.”

“i am, and it can,” she says, heart beating wildly in her chest. he’s just as handsome as she remembered, and she wants him just as much. “my name is ariel.”

“ariel,” he repeats, and pulls off his boots and goes wading into the water, watching her to see if she flinches away from him. she doesn’t, and his strides grow bolder. “my name is eric.”

“eric,” she whispers, and when he’s close enough he touches her, trailing fingers across the bare skin of her shoulder and tangling them in her hair.

when he kisses her, she feels powerful enough to undo the world.

so there’s that now, spending her nights with her grandmother and her prince, and she knows how to make her own legs now, could walk onto land and be made a queen among the two legged men.

but she’s a princess here first, and before she can do that she needs to take care of something.

ursula.

the rotten sea witch with her rotten sea magic won’t be allowed to torment her people any longer.

she tells her grandmother, and amphitrite smiles and says, “an excellent decision, child. i’ve enjoyed our time together, but i think it’s time for me to sleep once more. i’ve taught you everything i can.”

and tears prick ariel’s eyes, but she holds them back. she knew that it couldn’t be forever, that her grandmother can’t die but no longer desires to live and this is the in-between.

“you’ll be an amazing queen,” amphitrite murmurs, and closes her eyes for a millennia more.

this isn’t something to be done in the dead of night, although it would be easier to do it then.

she will make a spectacle of it, she will remind the sea that her people are not to be trifled with.

once upon a time they feared a blue eyed, red haired sea queen with the power to destroy them all. it’s time for them to do so again.

so she drives ursula to the center of the city. her sisters cower and people hide, and her father comes rushing forward to save her.

“you’ve committed great crimes against my people,” she says, not flinching as lightning gathers in the sea witch’s hands, “so now shall a great crime be committed against you.”

“foolish girl,” the sea witch snarls.

triton is yelling. he won’t get there in time.

he doesn’t have to.

she doesn’t need to sing anymore. instead she lifts her hands and pulls ursula apart without ever touching her, not only renders flesh from bone but also sets free the souls she’s been hoarding, reverses the magic done to those who’d fallen into the sea witch’s trap.

they all stare at her, her people, her father, and her sisters. she looks to triton and says, “i’m not a little girl anymore.”

he opens his mouth, closes it again, then says, “i can see that.”

all at once everyone’s perceptions are turned sideways about their youngest princess. she commands a power that even her father doesn’t have access to, she’s not depressed and dreamy – she’s powerful young woman who knows exactly what she’s doing.

so she does what she wanted to do, she gives herself legs and steps onto the sand and launches herself into eric’s arms. she becomes his bride, and the rumors run rampant of what she is, of where she came from, but they can’t prove anything and so they rule.

they live long, happy lives. ariel is his consort, his advisor, his wife, his tactician, and his best friend. all those years reading drowned books have certainly paid off. she ages herself along with her husband, bears his children and then teaches them they ways of her – their – people.

her husband dies, and she disappears, like the stories of selkie women that everyone whispers around her. their children give their father a sea burial, and vow to see him again one day. what they know and none of their subjects do is this – their father’s body isn’t in that casket.

she returns to her ocean, her legs form into her glittering green tail, and she goes home. she uses her terribly powerful magic, and brings her husband with her. she went from princess ariel of the sea to queen ariel of the land, and now she’s back again.

she’s not quite a teenager, but neither is she the old woman she pretended to be on land. she’s returned her and her husband to the prime of their life, and as she gained legs to be with him, he now gives his up to be with her.

eric becomes a merman, and a prince by virtue of being ariel’s husband.

she returns to her family and her world without missing a beat, and they all welcome her as if she never left, treat her husband with kindness and respect.

because they all know.

it doesn’t matter that she’s the youngest. when, far in the future, triton’s reign ends –

ariel’s reign will begin.

3

Hypothetical Handplates scenario in which Sans realizes he can teach himself Common.

(Ugh, tumblr is making them blurry for some reason so I guess full-view if you want the not-blurry version??)

Convoluted explanation incoming. Handplates is an Undertale fancomic by @zarla-s and if you like Papyrus and Sans, go read it, is good stuff. So I guess this is an AU fancomic of an AU fancomic? I dunno, the idea wouldn’t leave my brain until I did something with it. So. Zarla did a Christmas doodle where Gaster gave the boys a box of ginger cookies that had the word COOKIES on the side in big letters, and because my job gives me way too much time to think about random stuff, I realized something.

In Handplates, Gaster taught the bros to read and write Wingdings but deliberately did not teach them monster Common (ie: English) so they can’t read his nametag or anything. Thing is, Wingdings is a 1:1 substitution cipher for English. Every Wingdings symbol exactly equals an English letter; it’s not a different language, just a different set of pictures. As somebody who has taught herself a fair number of substitution ciphers, there are a few things you look for when you’re trying to translate a code and you don’t have a key in front of you. Most notably, single-letter words (in English they will usually be A or I) or double letters next to each other. Like the OO in “COOKIES”.

Sans is smart. Gaster has fed them junk food before and odds are good Sans knows how to spell “COOKIES”. The word is on the box in huge letters and Gaster just said it out loud, so it is fresh in Sans’ mind. That double-O is a huge tip-off. He would put it together that the word on the front of the box matches what’s inside. Once you figure out a few of the letters, it becomes steadily easier to decode the rest.

I feel like Gaster exposes the boys to enough Common (the nametag, food wrappers, computer monitors, the books Sans sits on) that Sans could pick it up with a proper starting point. Papyrus probably not, because he had a hard enough time with Wingdings, but Sans is eager for any opportunity to undermine Gaster and I’m sure he’d jump at the chance. In this comic he elects not to tell Papyrus, though. He doesn’t know Gaster has cameras in the cell (or even what a camera is) but he’s figured out that Gaster can spy on them somehow, and the last time Gaster caught them learning something he didn’t like, Papyrus got the ever-loving hell beat out of him. So Sans keeps quiet about it for now. And thus starts the long-standing tradition of keeping important secrets from his brother.

On the technical side, it took me a freakin’ week to sketch and outline this whole thing. Coloring and shading only took me like a day. In the meantime Zarla actually kinda addressed the cookie comic, but this was almost done by then so oh well. I’m finding my poses and proportions turn out a LOT better when I’m doodling skeletons, like what, drawing basic anatomy will make you better at anatomy, you don’t say?? A lot of this was a self-challenge to see if I could imitate Zarla’s art style, and I referenced previous Handplates comics a lot for the backgrounds and Sans’ face. Full disclosure: Gaster’s pose up there is basically copied from Zarla’s original comic because I was rushing through to get on to the actual meat of the story. He’s just here for setup. I had fun trying to figure out how to do his Lost Soul head though. Also, I hate Papyrus’ face from the front. Also also, it was tricky trying to convey “mentally translating an unknown alphabet into a known one” when pretty much everyone who sees this comic is already familiar with the “unknown” one and not the “known” one, but I think I pulled it off. 

TL;DR- I imitated somebody else’s style to do an AU of an AU; I am not Zarla; Zarla is the creator of Handplates and also Gaster’s pose in the first panel; I like ciphers too much and also I gave the cookies icing because that is the only kind of ginger cookie I know.

blue orchids

hanahaki & soulmate au (reposted)

pairing: jungkook | reader
genre: angst and a sprinkle of fluff
word count: 18.748
warnings: implied smut
disclaimer: I do not own the hanahaki disease concept.

I am immensely thankful for the talented people who have created art / edits for this story: x, x, x, x, x, x ♡ also, make sure to read moonlight (drabble from jimin’s pov) and home after rain (short sequel) after reading this story. enjoy!


You were eighteen years old when Jimin’s name showed up on your hand.

The day is fresh and clear in your memory: early December, the winds stronger than ever as they threatened to pierce through the windows of your room, hints of snowflake dancing in the air as the first snowfall augured an even sharper winter. There was a smile on your face that didn’t match the unrelenting coldness of the month, and even though the night was falling and the air felt icy on the tips of your fingers, there was only warmth in your chest as you went through the pictures of your phone.

Pictures of you and Jimin drinking hot chocolate, of clumsy iceskating, of funny faces that made you laugh out loud in the quietness of your bedroom. The feeling sparking in your chest could be considered somewhat dangerous— after all, you were just a girl that didn’t have any marks on her skin, a girl whose fate was yet to be decided. Something as enigmatic as love could be a treacherous thing, too risky for someone that couldn’t decide their destiny on their own.

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Does anyone ever think about the fact that after everything with Kate, maybe Derek goes to New York with the decision to never to be hurt that way by anyone again. Not the losing his family part, because how could he ever lose so much again, right? (Right? I’m not crying at all!) So he gets a part-time job as a grocery bagger or something, because he is young and most places won’t hire him halfway through the year. And he works after school to bring in a few bucks so that Laura’s eyes won’t be quite so pinched now that she has gotten her GED and began working to make ends meet for them in a very expensive city. After work, she then spends sometimes hours on the phone and emailing lawyers who are still trying to get all of the paperwork straight. So yeah, Derek  works to help Laura.

But then some lady at the store gives him that look. Like Kate. Her eyes are interested, and her grin is predatory, and he just knows she wants him. So he thinks to himself if he initiates it, maybe it won’t leave him feeling so wrong. So he does. And it becomes a thing. He flirts with anyone who shows him interest as he bags their groceries and “helps them to their car” even though they never need help.

From there maybe it just becomes a way of survival. As he gets older, it seems like more women want to sleep with him. He’s filling out, thanks to all of the runs he’s going on after work and thanks to the workouts he’s pushing his body through every morning. Because he has to be strong enough. He has to be bigger. He doesn’t want anyone to think they can hold him down or force him.

He learns how to play the game. One day he mentions something about that to a coworker (now working at a bar mixing drinks because someone had once told him he would make great money in tips) but his coworker didn’t think of sex as a game. Derek knew better. Maybe it wasn’t for some people, but he would never be able to trust someone in that way again, so he had to strike first before an opponent could.

One day a man at the bar looks at him just right, and Derek just thinks Oh. He’s never focused on men before, but he’s noticed them in passing. So he goes to the guy’s apartment after his shift and they sleep together. Derek pretends he’s done this before, even though he’s mostly relying on his sense of smell and hearing to tell if the guy is into different things he tries. And after that, Derek flirts with anyone he feels he has to.

So fast forward to Stiles. Stiles who is home from college after his second year has finished to make room for summer break. Stiles who means so much and is so good even when he’s an asshole. Stiles who leans in one day after a pack dinner, when he and Derek have finished cleaning up after everyone else has gone home. Stiles kisses him gently, at first, almost hesitantly. But when Derek doesn’t push him away, he presses in more firmly and suddenly Derek realizes where this is going to go. And it kind of makes him sad.

He lets Stiles slip his shirt off and push him back onto his bed. Stiles crawls on top of him and Derek begins pulling their hips together in a slow and sinuous way. But Stiles doesn’t react like any man Derek’s been with before–which really shouldn’t be as much of a surprise as it is. Yes, Stiles lets out a little moan, but it doesn’t break Stiles away from Derek’s mouth, where his tongue is doing things to Derek that he can’t explain. And his hands after trapping Derek’s face, but not like he’s trying to contain Derek, more like he’s holding something precious. His thumbs keep swiping across Derek’s eyebrows, like he’s memorizing their shape.

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→ Paper Doll | 01

Originally posted by sugutie

☆ pairing → Jungkook x Reader

☆ genre → idol+singer-songwriter!au, drama, slight angst

 warning sexual themes with smut in the next chapters, mentions of past unhealthy relationship 

☆ word count   → 2.1k

summary   → When the nation’s little sister, IU, gets into a huge scandal, your agency seizes the opportunity to thrust you into that now vacant spotlight. Your self-composed song Paper Doll becomes an overnight sensation, and soon people are itching to find out who was the one who broke your heart. All hell breaks loose once netizens discover that you used to date popular idol, Jeon Jungkook. Little do they know that it wasn’t him who left the relationship unscathed –  it was you.

alternatively: a story on the consequences of a hit break-up song

01 | 02 


a/n  → so basically this is me being coerced into writing jjk smut 
edit: pt i is more of a prologue



[+11,435; -2,003] this really breaks my image of him… proves how you can’t judge someone from their personality on camera

[+9,386; -1,983] all this time he was pretending to be super innocent haha all those stupid fangirls throwing money at him blindly must be going crazy

[+5,903; -1,234] i mean everyone goes through break-ups, but he was cosplaying as an innocent guy who was scared of skinship with girls all these years.. lmao he’s super shamel–

The words on the screen in front of him all blurred and bled into one big stain. He quickly scrolled through the hundreds and hundreds of comments, each more condemning than the last. A steady pressure was building in his ears, until the only thing he could see or feel were the accusations of a faceless crowd, all jeering at him loudly, fingers pointed.

It was as if his entire life flashed in front of his eyes right then, and he could suddenly recall every inconsequential and significant thing that had shaped his life the past seven years – the hours and hours spent in front of the mirror rehearsing the same steps over and over again, the taste of soggy ramen Hoseok hyung had let overcook last week, the screams of fans, the sound of his alarm clock, the look on your face when you told him it was over. There was no chronology to the kaleidoscope of fleeting glimpses of his past.

“What,” he breathed, hands shaking, eyes wide and disbelieving as his phone fell with a clatter on the table. He desperately wanted to ignore reality, but the stares that were all focused on him kept him grounded to the present.

Of course his first scandal would be linked to you.

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anonymous asked:

Dr Who but each incarnation is swapped with one of their companions.

omg?? I love it??

The First Doctor: 

She’s not completely unfriendly, exactly, she just doesn’t have time for humans being idiots. In the right circumstances, she can actually be very warm. She loves history, which is lucky because her granddaughter Susan does too (they tell people Susan is her daughter, but even then it’s a bit of a stretch, human ages are weird). Of course, then two of Susan’s teachers follow her home one night, and next thing the Doctor knows she has a crotchety old history teacher and a handsome young science teacher on her spaceship with no way to get rid of them that isn’t morally questionable. 

Whoops? 

The humans help her lose some of her haughtiness. She leaves Susan in the 22nd century to become her own woman. 

Along the way and against her better judgement, she falls hopelessly for Ian Chesterton. He wants to stay with her forever, but she knows it would never work, and encourages him to go with John Foreman in the Dalek Time Machine to get back to his own time. 

Later, in other lives, she checks in on him occasionally. 

The Second Doctor:

The baby face is a problem. It takes a good twenty minutes on a lot of occasions to get anyone to take her seriously. On the bright side, a lot of Polly’s clothes fit her now. 

She finds a best friend in Scotsman Jamie McCrimmon, whose rather naive approach to futuristic technology is extremely refreshing, as is his unique insightfulness. 

After Ben and Polly leave them, they rescue Victoria, who Jamie is utterly taken with. Victoria is unsure about living a life so unsupervised by someone older and won’t listen to the Doctor’s insistence that she is in fact perfectly qualified to look after them all. 

She and Victoria spend a good many nights aboard the TARDIS talking about women’s history and the things to come for women in the future and how women act on other planets. Victoria is fascinated, occasionally horrified, and often quietly thrilled at the things she learns. 

It’s a shame to see her go, but all she ever wanted was a family and security, and the Doctor can’t provide that. 

They meet an eccentric man on a space station, with funny trousers and an obsession with the recorder. The Doctor and Jamie like him instantly, and invite him on board only to learn that the man had been considering stowing away if not invited. 

The Time Lords take her friends away from her. She is forced to regenerate and exiled to Earth, as punishment for her interference. 

The Third Doctor: 

Shrewd, passionately devoted to science, and not one to take kindly to interruptions or anyone trying to talk down to or even disagree with her, it’s a wonder the Doctor even gets hired by UNIT at all. But then again, beggars can’t be choosers. 

On the bright side, this fellow John Smith from Cambridge seems to be the one person around with an actual brain and not just a penchant for attacking first and thinking later. 

They’re friends instantly. Or, they are once she makes it perfectly clear that she is the cleverer of the two. The look on his face when he realises is a memory she’ll treasure forever. 

He eventually leaves to go back to his own research, upon realising she doesn’t need him. 

It’s a shame and she misses him, but then Jo Grant comes into her life. Despite an awful first impression, the two women are soon fiercely devoted to each other. Jo keeps going on about women having to stick together amongst all the army boys, and while the Doctor could usually not care less about gender politics, if it means Jo hangs around her more, then so be it. 

The Master turns up. It’s exhausting and exasperating and oh so much fun

Meanwhile, the Doctor’s told herself to not let herself fall for humans, after how much Ian hurt. But with Jo, it’s impossible not to. (Not that she hasn’t noticed the Brigadier’s lingering stares, or failed to appreciate him in his uniform. But he’s far too professional to ever do anything, and too trigger happy besides.) 

Jo is like sunshine and she’s always there and smiling and pressing herself against the Doctor out of fear or shock, until one day they’re in the supply closet of a spaceship and they’re kissing furiously instead of listening out for their pursuers. 

It’s wonderful, being with Jo. Until Clive Jones comes along, and the Doctor has to tell her to forget about her and marry the nice young man who can grow old with her and give her the life she wants. 

She drinks more champagne than she is proud of that night. 

Luckily, along comes Sarah Jane Smith, who is exactly the kind of human that the Doctor automatically adores. Inquisitive, sharp, and a vocal feminist. What a woman. 

Of course, then giant alien spiders happen, and it’s time for a change.  

The Fourth Doctor:

Or… not. Apparently, she’s doomed to be young, attractive, humanoid, and pale skinned throughout all her lives. There are worse fates, but she wouldn’t mind a little variety, frankly. And being so small is getting infuriating. 

Harry takes a long while to take her seriously, but once he does, he is steadfastly loyal. Sarah Jane takes the regeneration in stride for the most part. 

And after them, Leela, who is so strange and savage but so utterly charming in her honesty. They share a few kisses, but nothing more. 

Then comes Romana. A young Time Lord who looks older than her, is far taller than is sensible, and has an even more absurd grin. She can’t stand him, with his bragging about his grades and thinking he knows everything. 

She soon teaches him that experience wins every time. 

Of course, then he spots some pretty princess on Tara, and next thing she knows, the moment the whole Key To Time mess is sorted, Romana is now a less taller, less ridiculous, utterly beautiful Time Lady in her first regeneration. 

She tries to argue against what she can only consider body theft, or at least copying, but it is a relief to not have to crane her neck up to speak to her companion. 

Romana becomes a most dear friend. She’s missed being around someone like her, someone who understands. It makes it all the worse when she leaves, leaving the Doctor with only Adric and his incessant questions. 

The Fifth Doctor: 

There’s something about this body, a regality, that commands a little more respect than the ones before it, despite it following the pattern of her others. 

Adric’s questions exasperate her, while Tegan’s demands to be taken home are met with gentle requests for patience and promises of Heathrow airport, and this Traken prince she’s picked up is thankfully one of the most polite people she’s ever had in the TARDIS. Decent brain on him, too. 

Tegan’s smile sometimes makes her stomach do backflips. The Doctor ignores it. She’s learned her lesson. It’s almost a relief to see Tegan reach her breaking point and leave, except it isn’t, because for a long while it feels like a part of her is missing. 

Turlough is a curiosity, but a nice one who makes for surprisingly good company in the absence of the others. 

Perpugilliam Brown is a surprise. The Doctor remembers why she has tried to avoid America where possible in her travels. Americans are loud. But in the case of Peri, it involves shouting at the Master, and as such, the Doctor decides that Perpugilliam Brown can stay as long as she likes. 

Between the two of them and soon Erimem, uncrowned Pharaoh of Egypt, they make quite the team.  


The Sixth Doctor:

It’s about time! Finally, a more weathered model. Peri is surprised to say the least, and seems a little disappointed to lose out on her best friend who had until now looked a very similar age to her, but soon realises very little has changed. 

And now she lets the Doctor take care of her a bit better. Thank goodness for that! The maternal instincts in this body are absurdly strong, she has no idea what she would do if she couldn’t express them. 

Now, the borderline narcissistic but quietly lovable history professor she accidentally picks up some time after losing Peri is a trickier matter. Still, at least he shares her love for chocolate cake. 

The Seventh Doctor: 

Bright, bubbly, and able to get most people to like her within ten seconds. Now this is a regeneration she likes. Plus, her most impressive set of lungs yet. Handy, for calling companions who like to wander off. 

She tries to not encourage Ace’s use of explosives, but it’s difficult when she sees how genuinely happy they make the girl. She’s getting soft in her old age, she knows. 

Still, at least her brain makes up for it. She can out-think a computer, easily. The universe is her chessboard and she’ll do whatever the hell she pleases with it. 

The Eighth Doctor: 

She’s a jolly thing. Always keen for adventure, ready to shout at anyone who deserves it, and just wants to have a good time, really. 

After a rather rocky start involving amnesia and kissing the cardiologist who had caused her regeneration in the first place, the Doctor is just minding her own business when she accidentally messes with history. 

It seems that saving this stowaway on the R101 might not have been the best idea after all. But he’s so charming and sweet and genuine, sharing her utter passion for life, that by the time she realises her mistake, she’s not willing to part with him. 

That goes… about as well as one might expect. 

The Ninth Doctor: 

It’s funny, being a weathered old war veteran with a guilty conscience, and simultaneously looking like someone who could be on the front of a magazine. 

Life is hard, after the time war, but she meets a man with big ears and blue eyes and things get better. A lot better. It feels good to smile again. 

The addition of Captain Jack Harkness is an interesting one, but she’s always said the more the merrier. Their other companion is not quite as happy about this development, but before long they’re the best of friends. 

The Tenth Doctor: 

She’s gentler now, somehow. Oh, she has her anger and her snark, and boy does this body have a set of lungs on her. But she’s so much softer, underneath. 

Losing her friends from her last body takes its toll. She at least manages to avoid comparing Martha to them that came before her. Martha is wonderful, always completing even the most impossible tasks that the Doctor puts to her. They part on good terms, after the Master’s ravaging of the Earth. (The Master had not been so impressed with this version of her. He had trouble seeing the strength within, seeing that she was more than the duality of compassion and shouting.) Martha needs to look after her family, and that’s probably for the best. 

And then there’s the skinny idiot in the suit. He actually talks faster than she does, which is absurd, but she wonders if that’s simply because of his questionable family. Perhaps not letting them get a word in is how he survives. 

Either way, they get along like a house on fire. Losing him, wiping his memory and seeing him stare right through her and smile that stupid smile, is almost enough to break her. 

No more companions, she swears. 


The Eleventh Doctor: 

It’s all about fun, now. Impressing the little boy whose garden she crashes in and then impressing him when he’s grown up and has waited 14 years for her. (To hell with her rule about no more companions. Her old self was full of dumb ideas anyway.) 

Oh yes, she likes Rory Williams a lot. And his best friend John isn’t bad either. Mind you, that nose… 

She has her spaceship, and her boys, and life is good. Well, there’s River Song to worry about, but she can never be sure if the archaeologist is more interested in her or John. Just one more mystery, it seems. 

Losing Rory, and then John, is hard. But she knows that they’re happy, and that’s enough. 

The Twelfth Doctor:

Short, bossy, a control freak, and a slight obsession with tartan. Also, her English teacher companion is secretly a rock star wannabe, disguised as a reclusive Scottish nerd. 

What’s a girl to do? 

(Apparently, find out that her best enemy is alive, and now also female. And Scottish like her companion. The first kiss had been… shocking to say the least. The ones after, against her better judgement, decidedly less so.) 

She cares about her companion more than she will ever say, and when faced with losing him, takes things too far. Further than anyone should ever take anything. And when it is all said and done… she can’t remember his face, or his voice, or how he sounded when he mocked how large her eyes were. 

River is there to comfort her, though, in those 24 years on Darillium. 

And then Bill. Brilliant Bill. Oh yes, they make quite the team. And Nardole helps sometimes too. 

Send me an AU and I’ll expand on it! 

Me as a parent
  • kid: mom tell me a story
  • me: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
100 Reasons to Love Kim Namjoon

today is my 3 year anniversary of loving namjoon and so here’s 100 reasons everyone should love him !!!!!!!

  1. he gave up a stable future of studying and going to college (despite being so smart) to risk everything and pursue his dream of becoming a rapper
  2. had to fight criticism for being an ‘idol’ rapper and struggled for years with his decision and identity
  3. when he says he loves himself !!!!
  4. never forget this cute tummy flash !!!!!!!!
  5. he loves all his members so much sosososo much, he always puts them before himself 
  6. WHEN HE’S LAUGHING REALLY HARD AND HE STARTS SEAL CLAPPING
  7. that one time tae came to sleep next to namjoon and namjoon sleepily held tae’s hand and wouldn’t let go
  8. his signature move when he takes his two index fingers and covers one of his eyes while looking deadass into the camera
  9. HIS DOE SHAPED PRETTY CHOCOLATE BROWN EYES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  10. professional self-dragger, literally willingly drags his own ass
  11. his mixtape release in 2015, every song was so important and deep and okay, it’s largely forgotten because of yoongi’s mixtape but it has so much emotion and meaning behind every song
  12. he loveloveloves dogs !
  13. literally has looked like the best thing the world has to offer no matter what rainbow ass hair color bighit sticks him with
  14. that golden age when his hair was black when will that look come back from the war ://////////
  15. you know that thing he does when he’s been rapping and suddenly breaks out into a smile and scrunches his nose and winks with one eye mmmmmmmmokay !!!!
  16. his angry rap when his neck veins show because he’s literally putting his all into it
  17. the way he looks in beanies !!!!!!!!! with one ear tucked in and the other sticking out
  18. the mole on the left side right under his jawline 
  19. the fact that he literally read books on philosophy for hyyh
  20. THE WAY !!!!!!!!! HE LOOKS !!!!!!!!!!!! IN A SUIT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  21. that time his speaker wasn’t working and he yelled at it and it started to work, Legends Only
  22. the fact that he isn’t afraid to try out weird kinds of fashion and won’t hear shit about it
  23. has been known to support LGBT since 2012
  24. THAT TIME BTS WERE IN ISAC IN 2015 AND HE WAS EVERY MEMBER’S HYPE MAN 
  25. when he’s too lazy to wear contacts so he wears his thick black rimmed glasses :’(((((((((((
  26. that time he had a wardrobe malfunction and had his whole shirt ripped off during that dance break and he did the whole performance holding up the sorry remains of his shirt 
  27. the fact that kim namjoon invented dimples !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no really he did
  28. how he is literally incapable of doing a fan sign without making it a display of how much aegyo he can fit in any given span of time and then immediately be shy and embarrassed about it
  29. 6 feet tall, he is 6 feet tall also don’t forget that he is literally the eiffel tower because nothing is taller than 6 feet just sayin
  30. that amazing and blessed time he had silver hair and my heart literally exploded !!!!!!!!!!!
  31. HIS PRETTY PINK POUTY PLUSH PERFECT LIPS 
  32. that time bts was doing rainism and he was the only one who didn’t know all the moves and messed up but pulled it off confidently in the end
  33. he literally loves his mom so much i’m :’(((((((
  34. HIS ALL BLACK OUTFITS AND THE WAY HE LOOKS WHEN HE WEARS ALL BLACK AND THE WAY ALL BLACK LOOKS ON HIM AND -
  35. the fact that every time someone tells him to do a freestyle dance, it’s literally the same awkward robotic jerky dance with the failing arms and legs since 2013
  36. when he tries to sing even though the members laugh at him
  37. HE JUST WANTS TO CATCH CRABS FOR GOODNESS SAKE
  38. his cute soft pretty pink knees :’))))))))))
  39. in the fire era when he had that acorn haircut and pulled that shit off when will your fave ever
  40. he reads, he has an IQ of 148, he was the nation’s top 1% in 5 subjects in high school, he -
  41. his smile his beautiful glorious soft glowing stunning breathtaking smile that smile that you only have the privilege of seeing someone have one in a million times in your life, the kind of smile that could change the world
  42. the way he looks in a choker the way he looks in a choker the way he looks in a chok-
  43. okay !!!!!!!!!! but his cute squishy tiny nose so kissable n someone please bop it and pinch it and it’s soosososo cute 
  44. the way he gets his hands inky and dirty every single fan sign every single darn one !!!!!!!!!!!! why are they dirty? what is he doing ?????
  45. THE AUDACITY HE HAS TO WINK AND BITE LIPS AT CAMERAS THE SHEER AUDACITY
  46. the way his arms look in sleeveless tops his arms !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  47. the way he looks in snapbacks mmmmmmmmmmmm
  48. that time on running man when everyone was supposed to have as many boxes as possible and he literally got his box snatched from his hands and he tripped over nothing he’s the dorkiest softest boy -
  49. SAILORMON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  50. that time he wore the army khakis and outfit and i just ://////// oh my god
  51. his side profile his perfect gorgeous beautiful angelic side profile !!!!
  52. his obsession with ryan and how happy he got when jimin got him a ryan cake for his birthday fkdsfhgfd
  53. legs for days !!!!!!!!!!!!!
  54. that time namjoon was a minion for halloween 
  55. “I had to dance to survive in this cold, cruel world.”
  56. his cute outfit in the baepsae dance practice video :((((((((((
  57. he looks sosoososososo unbeliveably beautiful bare faced i just love him so much 
  58. that time during the hyyh prologue shooting when all the members were piling onto him and he yelled ‘MY BALLS, MAN’
  59. his fucnkgn !!!!!!!!!! puma photoshoot binch !!!!!!!!!!!
  60. the fact that he sang expensive girl and took the fact that he didn’t get a grammy for it like a man :///
  61. that time they won their first award in 2015 and he was cleARLY CRYING but denied it like “i’m not crying”
  62. THAT TIME HE LITERALLY DESCRIBED HIS ERECTION ON LIVE RADIO AIR IN ENGLISH 
  63. that one time !!!!!!!!!!!!!! bts had an outdoor performance and his white shirt got sososososooso sweaty it was basically stuck to him and see through if you don’t know what i’m talking about then goodbye
  64. those RARE times when he smiles and sticks his tongue out at the same time !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  65. that time he was complaining about jungkook and the fruit flies and the weird as shit way he pronounced ‘vaccuum’
  66. his messy friendship with jackson 
  67. the fact that he apologized for the mistakes he has made in the past and made no excuses about them 
  68. award for having the world’s cutest and flattest tushy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  69. i don’t know if anyone noticed but the way he holds his fingers when he’s explaining something like he puts them in awkward bent angles and they’re really long and expressive i just looooovvveeeee
  70. that time he was doing a duet with this female singer for a show and he picked her up from the airport and held a sign with her name and got shy around her he’s the biggest gentleman DDDD:
  71. deep husky voice like shots of pure liquid gold sends shivers down my spine ://////////
  72.  KIM DAILY
  73. that time he held a tiny itty bitty baby frog on his index finger i dont know why it was so cute of him i just !!!
  74. sweaty namjoon when namjoon sweats the sweat namjoon produces 
  75. that time he tried to twerk but ‘something keeps dangling’
  76. when !!!!!!!!!! he wears tight pants and his thighs are almost bursting out of his pants jdfkkhkj
  77. the way he says ‘baby’
  78. EVERY ‘WHAT AM I TO YOU’ PERFORMANCE HE’S EVER DONE
  79. that time he was asked to pick between solo and bts and didn’t hesitate for a microsecond before saying bts
  80. THAT TIME NAMJOON DID THIS GUITAR ACOUSTIC WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND HE RAPPED SO SWEETLY MY HEART OVERFLOWED
  81. taught himself english by listening to 10 english dvds 10 times over 3 years 
  82. special thank you to every namjoon stylist who made him wear low cut shirts
  83. THE WAY HE LOOKS WEARING A MASSIVE HOODIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  84. ‘and i’m sexy like a porn star’
  85. accepts and settles for being the least popular bts member
  86. the way he looks when he wears headbands 
  87. when his sleeves are super long so he has sweater paws and his pretty fingers stick out slightly jdsfkshgkjfmncvb
  88. sub par body rolls that can still make you squirm and cry :////////
  89. once when he was the first in a lineup in a fan sign he told a fan ‘now you’ve practiced on me, you can do this in front of your real bias’
  90. got to write in “힙합하다 1” (‘This is Hip Hop 1: South Korea, Hip Hop and Life’) which is a hip hop book for 42 top korean hip hop artists
  91. THAT TINY MOLE BELOW HIS BOTTOM LIP THAT YOU CAN ONLY SEE IF HE SMILES REALLY WIDE
  92. the way he looks in a tie ohohohoohohoho my gosh !!!!!!!!!!!!!
  93. that time in the ariport the cameraman said ‘the girls love you guys’ and namjoon was like ‘thanks, we love you too’
  94. the way he wrote about the sunset in his diary when he went to dubai 
  95. HE HAS BENDY ARMS !!!!!!!!! NO REALLY I SWEAR THEY BEND BACKWARDS 
  96. he once told a fan ‘sorry’ when she told him she got him photocard
  97. he said that he wanted to know what it was like going to college and sometimes he feels like he missed out on that experience :///
  98. can you believe namjoon invented having pretty hands??????? Amazing
  99. he cares sosooso much about other people he’s always wondering how his fans are doing, what they feel like, always giving advice, always learning and growing, never stopping
  100. “I’m still existing, still breathing. Even though I keep looking forward and run, sometimes I still look back. The path in front and behind are still far, but even so, if the people who look at me are still dreaming and picking up their strengths, that alone makes me feel good. It’s okay to live this way, breaking down, getting hurt and looking back at the past. I will live. I am living like this. Me. Us.”

People were interested in me doing a thing like this, so here we go! I figured I’d do a short little blurb about each writer, including one or two of my favorite works by them. So, in no real order (like, I literally randomized the list) here are some of the most talented people* whose art I’ve had the pleasure of reading:

*Please note that some of these people haven’t written for bellarke in a while! That doesn’t mean you should pester them about it! Appreciate the heck out of what they have written instead. Cool? Cool.

1. Maria @rebelprincebell AO3

Maria’s written a good variety of longer and shorter fics, and each of them is excellent. (She’s also an amazing human/friend, but that’s more of a side perk.) She’s currently writing Things We Shouldn’t Do which is what everyone wants out of a multi-chap, fake-dating, actors AU. Or for something shorter, check out T.O.P. S.E.C.R.E.T. for some friends-with-benefits/feelings-reveal goodness. And maybe if she loves me she’ll finish Let’s Go to the Mall but it’s nbd.

2. Steph @ofhobbitsandwomen AO3

I read The Squire (multi-chap, medieval AU) when I was pretty new to the fandom, and I’m still completely in awe of it. Steph’s also written a million other amazing bellarke fics, like this fluffy-af youtubers AU (and, recently, some fucking amazing Jyn/Cassian stuff, if you’re into that) so make sure to check out all of her incredible writing.

3. M @ahmren AO3

M’s writing is magical. At the risk of sounding cliche, it wraps you up and carries you to another world. I could survive on nothing but her collection of soulmate AUs for years to come. 

4. Chash @ponyregrets AO3

Chash has written a million and one amazing fics, so obvs read everything she’s written, but one of my particular faves is Some Cheese With That Whine. It gives me all the best-friends-to-lovers feelings. Amazing. Plus she likes all my posts when I’m flailing about ffx <3

5. Katelyn @nathenmiller AO3

Secrets is the only arranged marriage fic you ever need to read. Period. I also love this fluffy lil childhood-friends-meet-up-ten-years-later AU. Plus, on top of all the fantastic writing, K’s one of the incredibly hardworking ladies behind bff. What a girl??

6. Lana @marauders-groupie AO3

Lana’s another one of those writers where I know I’ll like everything she publishes. She’s like, the queen a soulmate AU’s. Her most recent one is here–a cool iteration where you feel whatever pain your soulmate feels. As with all the other authors here, don’t forget to check out all her other stories!

7. Kacka @katchyalater AO3

I discovered Kacka this summer, and her stories saved me from boredom on the countless train rides I was taking across Europe. By which I mean you should just read through everything on her AO3 page, like I did. Everyone loves a good coffee-shop AU, right? Check out Got to Find Those Extra Cups to Fill. She’s a fantastic, inspiring writer and an even lovelier human being.

8. Emily @prosciuttoe AO3

Emily had the nerve to make me cry by posting a canonverse fic, Hold This Heart Steady, today. So do yourself a favor and read that. Other Emily faves include: Your Heart Is Your Own (So Build Me A Home) and Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic (for all your Hogwarts AU needs).

9. Brianna @jvnscass AO3

Bri’s another one of the authors I first read when I joined the fandom! She doesn’t write much bellarke anymore, but it’s all still up on her AO3 along with a ton of quality Jyn/Cassian fics, if that’s your jam!

10. Nai @hiddenpolkadots AO3

Want canon-verse smut? Nai’s got u covered: Mouth Like Heaven, Kisses Like Stars. Or for something on the fluffier/hurtcomfort side, try the light that sits at the bottom of your chest. You literally can’t go wrong. She writes Jily too!

11. Kayla @kay-emm-gee AO3

Kayla’s the first person I ever considered my “favorite fanfic author” and the title still fits, even if I do have about a million “favorite” authors now. Full Circle is an older, post s2, fic of hers, but it’s undeniably still one of my faves. A more recent fave is: this is your heart (can you feel it). These are both canonverse, but she writes amazing modern AUs as well. <3

12. Meghan @bellamyfrecklefaceblake AO3

I feel like Meghan writes the best epic-feelings-reveal scenes?? Some faves are: A Drunk Mind Speaks A Sober Heart and You Won’t Get Rid of Me Without a Fight. I want to live in the feelings at the end of these fics pls and thx. (Also, hope your hand is doing better!!)

13. Mel @caramelkru AO3

Is it getting old for me to keep saying I like everything insert-name-here writes?? I’d stop, except that it’s TRUE. Mel is fantastic. Her last installment in Good Times Gonna Come is so cute I can’t actually stand it. Something In The Air (That Night) is also super good. (She also writes Sethkate and Jyn/Cassian!)

(Okay I’m running out of time for these last few–gotta get to class–so I’ll just do one fic rec from each writer, BUT they’re all such fucking talented authors. Everything they write is amazing.)

14. Katie @dreamingundone AO3

take a running start

15. Jazz @hooksandheroics  AO3

Out of All the Gin Joints

16. S @kinetic-elaboration  AO3

Since There’s No Place To Go

17. Amber @bilexualclarke  AO3

asleep in the bathtub (also, like… her blog title doesn’t lie)

18. Emily @kieraknighted  AO3

Walk With Me

19. Annie @clarkescrusade  AO3

those broken and delicate things

20. Julia @enoughtotemptme  AO3

Aurora Borealis

21. @queenofchildren  AO3

But We Fight For Roses Too

I also asked for some lesser known fic recs, so check these out!

Lay It All On Me by @peetaspikelets

The Thing About Pre-Med by theprincessandtheking

In My Dreams We Are Always Together by andsowemeetagain


OKAY PHEW. I think that’s everything. As a last note, don’t forget to appreciate your favorite authors! A comment or reblog here and there goes a long way. Kudos and likes are lovely, but not quite as tangible as comments and tags.

Happy Reading!

How Pink Diamond was shattered

It’s all coming together.

So lets start off with this.

This is what started the rebellion, the first act of treason from Rose Quartz, but here’s the thing, we’ve already seen the scene directly after the act of poofing pink diamond. (I specified ‘poofing’ and not ‘shattering’ for a reason, bare with me)

This is it. Right here.

If you’ve watched Rose’s Scabbard as many times as I have (so many, too many) then you know how this scene goes.

Rose: “Pearl, I’m going to stay and fight for this planet.”

This dialogue is so, so important. They’ve reached a breaking point (ha) here. Something that Rose just did has pushed them both into needing to make a choice. There’s no going back. Rose chooses to stay.

It’s important to notice her expressions here.

The first thing that strikes me is that for a few frames she’s looking away from Pearl, looking back. What exactly is she looking at? The evidence of what she’s just done? Pink Diamond’s Gem?

But it’s her eyes that really do it for me.

She looks haunted.

Then the urgency of the situation comes in through the dialogue, and here’s why I think this just happened.

Rose: “You don’t have to do this with me.”
Pearl: “But I want to!”
Rose: “I know you do. Please, please understand, if we lose we’ll be killed, and if we win, we can never go home.”

She’s done something punishable by death, so she gives Pearl the option of leaving. She still has time to give Pearl the option of leaving.

This, if nothing else is proof that Homeworld doesn’t know that Pink Diamond has been poofed yet, that the act of treason has just been committed. They are the only  gems who know what has happened, we know this because not only does Eyeball confirm that there were witnesses to Pink Diamond’s shattering but, in the beginning of “The Answer” when Pearl and Rose first attack, the Ruby guards can be heard crying out:

Who are you?!”
“Show yourselves!”

At that point all Homeworld knew was that there was a rebellion, they didn’t know who had rebelled, who attacked Pink Diamond.

Back to Rose’s Scabbard.

If Pearl returns to Homeworld now it’ll be without consequence, she won’t be blamed because nobody knows what just happened, Pearl can lie, claim no involvement, anything. Rose knows this, tries to protect her by offering her a means of escape. (It’s obvious by her body language, her hesitation, and her resignation that she wants Pearl to stay but she would never ask that of her, but that’s another post entirely ;D )

Pearl declines, of course.

(Rose looks so relieved and happy and ajshgjakhgs)

We’ve just witnessed the start of the rebellion and the birth of the Crystal Gems.

Now this. This is where and how Pink Diamond was shattered.

The rebellion is underway, a thousand year war. The Crystal Gems are outnumbered, outgunned, and it all comes to a head in the strawberry battlefield where it seems that White Diamond has been sent in to finish them off once and for all.

This mural has always reminded me of something straight out of Sailor Moon.

And I believe the same scenario played out here. The odds were stacked against them, they were facing total defeat. So Rose, like Usagi, uses her last resort, her strongest weapon.

In this case, that’s Pink Diamond’s Gem.

And this is what happens.

She never meant to shatter her.

🎶🎶When You Collect Records🎶🎶
  • Hipster: *moves dusty old boxes out of the way* Whoa, an old record player. It looks like it's in working order too! *runs outside*
  • Hipster: Yo, dad!
  • Dad: What?
  • Hipster: We're getting rid of all of poppop's stuff, right?
  • Dad: There's something you want, isn't there?
  • Hipster: There's this old stereo record player in the attic.
  • Dad: What do you need a record player for?
  • Hipster: My record collection.
  • Dad: I didn't even know they still made those things. Can't you just listen to music on your phone?
  • Hipster: Dad, there's a big difference between listening to music digitally and on record.
  • Dad: Fine, I don't wanna get into it with you right now. You can take the record player. You just have to get someone else to take it to your place for you. My truck's full.
  • Hipster: Thanks dad! *smooches dad on the cheek*
  • *later at hipster's apartment*
  • Friend: So, like Patch Adams ends with Patch Adams half-naked in front of a ton of people. I don't know if it was meant to be funny or like a weird sex thing, but like the movie was just a deeply disturbing character study. I can't stop thinking about it.
  • Hipster: That sounds boring. *unlocks door to apartment* Ta-da! Here it is! My new record player!
  • Friend: New? Looks fucking old to me, dude.
  • Hipster: Well, it is old. That's the appeal. And we're going to listen to the new Sufjan record on it.
  • Friend: Is that actually how you say Sufjan? Apparently, I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time.
  • Hipster: Well, you won't after this record. There's an entire track where he just says his name for four minutes. It's amazing. *plays records*
  • Record Player: *coughs* Hello. Hello! Where am I? Doctor? Hello! Why is it so dark...............................Can I breathe? I can't breath. Oh god, I'm not breathing! Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! I.....................................
  • Hipster: Uh, that's not Sufjan.
  • Friend: It totally isn't. Is it some guest vocalist? I like the new direction he's going in. No instruments or singing, and long stretches of silence. Very experimental.
  • Hipster: *stops record player* I think maybe we should do something else for now.
  • Friend: Fucking lame! I wanted to listen to more Sufjan.
  • *days later at the record store*
  • Hipster: Yo, I think the Sufjan Stevens record I bought from here might be some kind of mispress.
  • Store Clerk: Really? It's a pretty major album. I doubt there'd just be a mispress like that.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but listen to it. It's not Sufjan at all. It's some girl talking.
  • *hipster and clerk listen to a completely normal Sufjan Stevens album together*
  • Store Clerk: What are you talking about? This is definitely Sufjan Stevens.
  • Hipster: Okay, but it wasn't like that when I listened to it at home! I even listened to it with my friend and he heard the same thing!
  • Store Clerk: Maybe there's something wrong with your record player.
  • Hipster: Hmm, maybe there is.
  • *back at the apartment*
  • Hipster: *turns on record player and just listens*
  • Record Player: ...I'm awake again. Why did I black out? Did I even black out? God, I'm not breathing, but it doesn't matter. Why don't I need to breathe? Am I even alive?
  • Hipster: Can you hear me?
  • Record Player: Doctor. Doctor! DOCTOR! Why can't I move? Why can't I feel anything. Keep yourself together. It'll all make sense soon. Calm down. Just breathe deeply. Fuck, I can't breathe! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I CAN'T BREATHE! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! HELP! HELP ME, PLEASE! I'M STUCK! I CAN'T MOVE! PLEASE HELP ME!
  • Hipster: *turns off record player* It's just a recording, I bet. I can't believe I talked to it like an idiot... *nervously turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: I blacked out again. I blacked out. For how long? Is there even time here? Hell. This is hell, right? Did I go to hell.........................................
  • Hipster: *listens to the record player for hours*
  • Record Player: Negative 6893 bottles of wine on the wall! Negative 6893 bottles of wine! Take one down, pass it around, Negative 6894 bottles of wine on the wall... fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
  • Hipster: *keeps listening*
  • Record Player: Soul of Christ, make me holy, Body of Christ, be my salvation. God, please forgive me. I'm sorry for all of my sins. Please free me. I'm so sorry. Please. Please. Please.
  • Hipster: *still listening*
  • Record Player: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! SHITTY DOCTOR! FUCK YOU! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! *sobs intensely* FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK EVERYTHING! Please just let me go.
  • Hipster: *nervously walks up to record player and lightly taps on it*
  • Record Player: ...A knock. A KNOCK! PLEASE HELP ME! I'M STUCK! PLEASE! *record player begins shake violently*
  • Hipster: *backs away in fear*
  • Record Player: HELP! HELP! HELP ME! PLEASE, IF SOMEONE'S THERE, HELP ME! HELP ME! I'M STUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE!
  • Hipster: *unplugs record player*
  • Hipster: *gets hammer from the closet and begins to break apart record player*
  • Record Player: *drips red*
  • Hipster: W-What? *cracks front of record player open*
  • *rotting viscera falls from the record player*
  • Hipster: O-Oh... *stuffs viscera back into the record player and duct tapes over it*
  • Hipster: *turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: ...I can feel. It hurts. Why does it hurt now? Why does it hurt? Why? Why? Why? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? *spurts blood through it speakers and begins to gurgle*
  • Record Player: *hops forward* Please just let me go. Please... please. I'll do anything. I just want to see you again. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I asked for. I'm so sorry. *hops forward again and comes unplugged*
  • Record Player: *tips over, bleeding heavily onto the carpet*
  • Hipster: *silently cleans up the mess*
  • *some time later*
  • Hipster: *calls dad* Hey, dad. Oh, nothing. Uh, I just need to borrow your truck, If not tonight sometime this week. I just need to get rid of something. No, no, that's fine, I can do it myself. Yeah, tomorrow morning is perfect. Thanks Love you too. Bye.
  • *the next afternoon*
  • Dad: So, what did you need to get rid of this morning?
  • Hipster: Nothing important. Just some old junk... Dad, what kind of person was poppop?
  • Dad: Well, he was only the greatest man I've known in my life. Really caring, dedicated to his family. When you were born he loved you so much. He was a bit of a loner, though. It took a lot to get him to open up. Even around me and your grandmother. He was a bit like you. Always a huge music lover.
  • Hipster: I see. Was he ever a doctor?
  • Dad: That's a weird thing to ask. Nope. He hated doctors. Didn't trust modern medicine one bit. It's ironic. His cancer probably wouldn't have gotten to him if he did. But, your poppop was always so stubborn.
  • Hipster: Oh, okay then.
  • *some days later*
  • Friend: New carpet?
  • Hipster: Yup, old one was ugly wasn't it. It was time for a change.
  • Friend: That's what I've been telling you! I'm glad you finally came to your senses. What happened to your record player, though?
  • Hipster: That thing? I threw it away. It was busted.
  • Friend: That sucks. Are you gonna buy a new one?
  • Hipster: No.
  • Friend: But you won't have anything to play your records on.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but I buy records because I want to support the artists. They're not really for listening. Besides, lossless is better. FLAC is the future.
older ace story

I’m 29, and I just wanted to share somma my thoughts and experiences as an older ace guy.  kinda long but you may enjoy it

highschool I started noticing I felt attraction towards the same sex like I did the opposite sex.  it wasn’t til my feelings for someone I knew of the same sex continued on through college that I really started reflecting on what was going on inside me.  after a lotta work, I realized I must be bi, though I kept this to myself

in college (~20 years old) I learned about asexuality and tried to imagine what it’d be like to not feel sexual attraction.  I couldn’t.  and about a year later, my sister linked me to a vid on asexuality, thinking it might apply to me.  I watched it and thought “that’s not me”

the biggest problem with a lack of visibility and understanding around asexuality is a lot of people who ARE ace pass it right by.  we have no frame of reference to realize that what we feel isn’t sexual attraction.  we naturally associate the feelings we do get with the feelings everyone else does.  how could we think any different?  that’s the difficult part

but fact is, we do sense something different in ourselves we can’t reconcile.  things we interpret as people exaggerating, or being funny, or having active imaginations, in fact stem from them experiencing a type of attraction we don’t have access to.  feelings of inadequacy, or confusion, or incompetence, stem from the inability to experience a type of attraction others do

I thought I knew what I wanted back then, and I did.  I wanted love, affection, tenderness.  that was only possible through a relationship.  so naturally, that’s what I wanted.  but, I’d constantly find myself worrying whether I’d be able to handle the sexual part.  I spent a lot of time bargaining with myself.  a lot.  I avoided people in general, cuz I knew in my heart I wouldn’t be able to handle it if it grew to that level

being ace opened a lot of interpersonal issues for me.  I felt I couldn’t relate to anyone anymore.  more accurately, that no one could relate to me.  I felt no one felt how I did.  and yet, I felt sexual attraction.  I wanted this.  so why did I feel alone?  why couldn’t I handle it?  why?

it wasn’t til way past college (~26 years old) that I realized that sexual attraction refers to SEXUAL ATTRACTION.  not the feeling of butterflies.  not the feeling of wanting to hold someone’s hand.  or wanting to see someone smile.  it’s specific.  and refers to sexuality, cuz it’s important to people.  and EVEN THEN it took another year to realize the “sexual” suffix in sexual identities ALSO refers to this sexual attraction.  it sounds stupid, but that’s the position a lotta of aces find themselves in their lives, suddenly

by this time, I’d already come out to a few people as bi.  I was comfortable with it, sorta attached to it.  and I had people in my life I could directly relate to cuzza it.  I liked myself as a bi person.  but with the realization of what bisexual really meant…

I had to ask myself.  do I feel sexual attraction towards multiple genders?  at first I thought yes, but I constantly reminded myself what sexual attraction actually was.  so the answer was no.  then I asked, is there even the slightest chance I’d be okay with having sex?  with anyone?  regardless of gender?  I knew the answer was no.  but it took months to get to that answer.  I’m pretty sure there’s even a post here of me bargaining with myself on the topic of sex a few years ago.  I knew it would close so many doors for me.  I didn’t want that to happen

when I finally realized I must be ace, I thought “okay.  all those issues I have around sex make sense now.  but I still get crushes on more than one gender, so I’ll say I’m a biromantic ace”  it was nice cuz I got to keep somma my bi identity

just like sexual attraction, I thought for sure I felt romantic attraction.  in a way, realizing the difference between romantic feelings and platonic feelings was even harder than with sexual feelings

I knew about aromanticism but didn’t think much bout it til last year, when I saw a list of things an aro person might not be into.  I started thinking “what makes these romantic in the first place…?  I could do these with a friend” which quickly spiraled into “what’s the difference between romantic and platonic feelings??”  

I spent so much time trying to figure it out.  that prolly shoulda been a dead giveaway that I was aro, but lolol.  tbh I still don’t understand the difference.  maybe someday I’ll understand.  but it’s okay if I never do. 

everything I feel is platonic, and I love it.  finally everything makes sense.  I feel happy and healthy and like myself.  I love being ace and I love being aro and finding the type of love I always wanted… my life is so so full

anyways, thanks for reading.  I hope it can help someone!  and I hope to see more ace experiences and positivity as we continue forward

Aubrey tells Beca about Chloe's toner:
  • [BECA is walking out of an elevator and makes her way down the hallway. Her phone begins ringing and she frowns at the caller I.D. before answering]
  • BECA: Aubrey?
  • AUBREY: Hi Beca. How's L.A.?
  • BECA: Um yeah...good...thanks...?
  • *pause*
  • BECA: So...this is a surprise. I mean, you don't often call me. In fact, you've NEVER called me. Ever. And it's, what *pulls phone from ear to quickly check the time*...3am where you are? Is everything ok?
  • AUBREY: *sighs* No, not really. I called about Chloe.
  • [BECA gets to her hotel room and stops, unlocking the door]
  • BECA: Why, has something happened to her? Is she okay?
  • [BECA steps into her hotel room, closing the door behind her]
  • AUBREY: No, Beca, she's not.
  • [BECA freezes]
  • BECA: Oh my god. What happened?!
  • AUBREY: You did.
  • BECA: What?
  • AUBREY: You happened. Chloe was perfectly fine until you happened.
  • [BECA swallows loudly as she walks over to her hotel bed and sits on the end of it heavily]
  • AUBREY: I've known Chloe for ten years. I'd never seen her look at anyone else the way she looked at you. The way she STILL looks at you.
  • BECA: I don't-
  • AUBREY: *sighs* -Beca, I know you and I haven't always seen eye-to-eye. But there IS one thing that's important to both of us and that's Chloe's happiness, right?
  • BECA: Um...yeah.
  • AUBREY: So why is it since you left I've been having to take care of a mopey Chloe?
  • BECA: Um...
  • AUBREY: She barely eats, barely talks, NEVER laughs...
  • BECA: Aubrey, I-
  • AUBREY: ...it's been three days and you've barely texted her!
  • BECA: Woah Aubrey, I asked her if she was alright with me going and she said yes!
  • AUBREY: Oh WAKE UP Beca!! She never wanted you to leave but she told you you should because she wanted to support you!
  • *pause as AUBREY catches her breath*
  • AUBREY: *sighs* Beca, I promised Chloe I wouldn't tell you this but I can't bear to see her unhappy anymore so...
  • *BECA strains her ears, desperate to know what AUBREY will say*
  • AUBREY: ...Chloe broke up with Chicago before you left.
  • BECA: What? Why didn't she say anything?!
  • AUBREY: Because she believed that this LA thing was your big break. She didn't want to risk telling you and for you to decide not to go and miss out on your dream.
  • BECA: Oh...
  • AUBREY: I just thought you should know because *sighs* Beca I'm not an idiot. I've seen the way you've looked at her during this tour. When she's been with Chicago? That's not the look you give your friend when you dislike the guy she's seeing. BELIEVE me I know, I never liked Chicago either. But not because I was jealous of him.
  • [BECA brings a hand to her face and pinches the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes as she tries to process what has just been said]
  • AUBREY: Beca this is your life. I'm not going to tell you what to do or how to live it. Just...remember what's important okay?
  • [AUBREY hangs up and BECA places her phone on the bed, looking down at her feet.]
  • ---------------
  • [14 hours later. AUBREY is in her hotel room gathering final strands of her hair to place in an already established 'up-do'. There is a rumble of thunder and heavy rain sounding from outside the window. AUBREY hears a fast knock on the door. She opens the door to see BECA stood on the other side, soaked from the rain, clearly cold, gasping to catch her breath.]
  • AUBREY: Beca wha-
  • BECA: -Where's Chloe?
  • AUBREY: She's gone down to the dressing rooms alrea- hey, wait!
  • [BECA has already begun running off and AUBREY watches as BECA dashes down the hall and through a door that leads to the stairwell.]
  • ---------------
  • [CHLOE stands in front of a long mirror in the dressing room that is situated at the side of the stage where they will be performing their final show of the tour, smoothing down the front of her black dress with her left hand, then glances at her phone in her right. She sighs as she sees she has no message from BECA.
  • FAT AMY clears her throat beside her and CHLOE furrows her brow, looking to her right at FAT AMY and CYNTHIA-ROSE. She sees them nod to the mirror, their eyebrows raised expectantly, presumably to make her look in it's reflection.
  • CHLOE looks back at the mirror and sees in it's reflection BECA stood in the doorway, soaked and breathless. CHLOE turns on the spot and is clearly speechless.]
  • CYNTHIA-ROSE: Um...me and Fat Amy have somewhere we need to be.
  • FAT AMY: We do?
  • [FAT AMY sees CYNTHIA-ROSE's facial expression and clocks on]
  • FAT AMY: Oh RIGHT. Yeah. Let's...go to that place...that we have to go to.
  • [FAT AMY and CYNTHIA-ROSE make their way out of the dressing room, grinning at BECA who gives them both an awkward polite smile before they close the door behind them.
  • BECA begins to slowly walk towards CHLOE who is clearly nervous and surprised.]
  • BECA: So...you broke up with Chicago?
  • CHLOE: Uh...yeah...who-?
  • BECA: Aubrey called me.
  • CHLOE: I told her not to say anythi-
  • BECA: I know. But I'm pleased that she did.
  • [BECA pauses a couple of yards from CHLOE, not bothered that she is still soaked from head to toe.]
  • CHLOE: Your job-?
  • BECA: -Doesn't matter. None of it matters. LA. My dream. None of it. Not really.
  • [BECA slowly takes a few steps forward so she is now mere inches from CHLOE]
  • BECA: But you...
  • [BECA and CHLOE hold eye contact, but it isn't weird. They have looked at each other this intensely before. In that shower cubical at Barden six years ago when they sang 'Titanium' together.]
  • BECA: ...Chloe you matter. You REALLY matter to me.
  • [Tears appear in CHLOE's eyes]
  • BECA: On the flight over here I realised I could live my life just fine without ever becoming a Music Producer. But my life wouldn't be worth living if I didn't have you in it. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner-
  • [BECA's sentence is interrupted as CHLOE brings her hands to BECA's face and pulls her into a deep kiss. BECA immediately wraps her arms around CHLOE's waist pulling her tighter to her. Their faces rock gently from side to side as they intensify the kiss, inhaling deeply. Before long CHLOE opens her mouth wider, inviting BECA's tongue into her mouth which takes CHLOE by surprise and elicits a small squeak from the redhead when BECA begins rolling her tongue with hers. They mutually, reluctantly, break the kiss, grinning. CHLOE bites her bottom lip. BECA keeps her hands in CHLOE's hips.]
  • CHLOE: I...don't know what to say.
  • BECA: Have I mastered the impossible and made the great Chloe Beale speechless?
  • [CHLOE lets out a small giggle then her face turns serious as her blue eyes inspect BECA's face nervously.]
  • CHLOE: I don't want to say how I'm feeling in case I freak you out.
  • BECA: Chloe...?
  • [BECA smiles softly, leans her face closer to CHLOE's face, and keeps CHLOE's eye contact with her own eyes.]
  • BECA: *whispers* I love you.
  • [A smile spreads on CHLOE's face as she takes a deep breath]
  • CHLOE: *whispers* I love you too.
  • [BECA and CHLOE kiss again, this time gently.]
  • FAT AMY: *outside the closed door* Can we come in yet?
  • [BECA and CHLOE part their lips, holding each other's hands as they lean their foreheads against each other. BECA closes her eyes clearly frustrated with FAT AMY's timing.]
  • FAT AMY: *outside the closed door* It's just...Aubrey's out here and really wants us to finish getting ready - OW!!
  • [BECA and CHLOE pull their faces apart. CHLOE giggles quietly as BECA rolls her eyes at FAT AMY getting into trouble with AUBREY.]
  • FAT AMY: Okay FINE, Aubrey says take as long as you need - OW!!
  • *pause*
  • FAT AMY: Look, can we just come in before I get battered again? - OW!! Aubrey what now?!
  • [BECA looks to CHLOE apologetically and CHLOE gives her a wink with a sweet smile. BECA quickly leans back to CHLOE and places a brief kiss on her lips before turning her head to the door of the dressing room.]
  • BECA: Alright Amy, you can come in.
  • [The door of the dressing room swings open and FAT AMY, AUBREY, and CYNTHIA-ROSE stand in the doorway with expectant looks on their faces, the rest of THE BELLA's stood behind them with similar expressions. They all squeal in excitement at the sight of BECA and CHLOE grinning whilst holding hands and everyone outside the door tumble into the dressing room to congratulate BECA and CHLOE.]

pandasubaru  asked:

AU Ideas: 4 (with Artist Steve?? that'd be amazing) or 13 or 15

  • 15: My friend made me a grindr/tinder profile without me knowing and you liked my profile and then sent me a message which just said ‘Bees?’ and I’m a little confused but intrigued.

— —

Steve’s phone buzzes.

“If this is another Grindr notification, I swear to God—“ Steve starts.

“That you’ll answer it and go get laid?” Sam says. Natasha snickers.

“That I’ll kick your ass,” Steve says.

Sam raises an eyebrow. “Will you?” he asks.

“Yes, I will!” Steve says.

“He’s very scrappy,” Natasha says. “He once managed to scratch me.”

“Check your messages,” Sam says.

Steve sighs, rolls his eyes, and pulls out his phone. He reads the notification from wintersoldat3255. It says, Bees? and nothing else.

He holds the phone up to Sam. “See?” he says. “See the weirdos who message me because you made this profile?”

Sam takes the phone from Steve, reads the message, and snorts. “Okay, well, maybe they’re not all winners. Let’s see what he…” he trails off, eyes going wide. “Shit, those are some pectorals.”

“Oh, pass it here,” Natasha says, taking the phone. Even Natasha — who is rarely impressed — raises her eyebrows. “Maybe you should see what this guy has to say,” she says, passing the phone back to Steve after a long moment.

“I’ve seen what he has to say, and what he has to say is ‘bees’, apparently.”

“It was a question,” Sam says. “You should change your intonation.”

Steve exhales. “Bees?” he asks, exaggerating the raised end of the question. “That better?”

“Very,” Sam says. “Now let’s look at your other prospects.”

Steve gets up to get another round of drinks.

— —

He doesn’t know why he goes back to Grindr that night, after he’s back home and has had a few drinks. It’s not that he wants to get laid — honestly, he doesn’t want to get out of bed — but he’s sort of curious about who saw his photos and thought ‘yeah, I’d hit that’.

He scrolls through a few generic messages, then sees the one from wintersoldat3255.

Bees?

What the fuck.

So he types out, what the fuck? and sends it back to the guy.

He doesn’t expect an answer — the guy messaged him hours ago — but it only takes a minute or so before he gets a response:

You say save the bees in your profile, which is noble and everything, but I know for a FACT that you’re allergic to bees.

First of all, Steve is a little heartened knowing that Sam knows him well enough to include the fact that the bees need to be put on the endangered species list and should be protected on his dating profile. But then he realizes that this guy… somehow knows that Steve is allergic to bees, which is creepy as hell.

No I’m not, Steve lies, calling the guy’s bluff.

No, you are. I’m the one who shoved an Epipen in your thigh after you got stung during Gilmore Hodge’s birthday party and his mom was too freaked out to do anything about it.

Steve stares at the message, then shakes his head. It can’t be right! The person who stuck the Epipen in his thigh during Gilmore Hodge’s birthday party was Bucky Barnes, and this guy can’t be Bucky Barnes.

Can he?

Steve quickly clicks over to his profile. He scrolls through the pictures, but there aren’t any of his face, just abs and pecs, which makes Steve roll his eyes a little. When he goes back to his messages he has another from wintersoldat3255:

Yeah Steve, it’s me.

Steve’s eyes go wide.

Bucky? he asks.

Long time no see.

Can’t actually see your face, so I don’t really know it’s you.

A photo appears. It’s of Bucky Barnes, mugging for the camera with a toothy grin.

You wanna catch up? Bucky writes.

Sure. Where are you? Steve asks, heart beating fast.

It’s Grindr. The whole point is that you can see.

Steve rolls his eyes, they make plans to meet-up at a local 24-hour diner in a half hour, and Steve saves the photo that Bucky sent him, just in case.

— —

Bucky is already sitting in a booth when Steve walks in. He perks up, grins, and waves. “Steve!” he calls.

Steve straightens up a little, takes a breath. He shouldn’t be so nervous; it’s not like there’s anything riding on this. He’s just seeing his childhood best friend for the first time in over ten years. No big deal.

Doesn’t help that Bucky was Steve’s first crush, but no big deal, either.

He walks over, and Bucky’s just grinning at him, like he’s the best thing he’s seen in years. “Hey Buck,” Steve says.

“Steve,” Bucky says, kind of breathy. “Wow, you look fantastic.”

Steve shrugs. “I look like me,” he says. “Don’t have abs like you do, apparently.”

Bucky laughs, ducks his head. “I’ll be honest — my friends made that profile for me. I thought Peter was taking pictures for his art class of me at the gym.”

“Why didn’t he include his face?” Steve asks. “It’s not like your face is a bad one.”

Bucky laughs. “Thanks for that, I think.” He pauses, starts playing with the edge of the plastic menu on the table in front of him. “And it’s because I’m out but I’m not out out.”

“Okay?” Steve says, a little confused.

“Anyhow, what have you been up to? How’s life? Do you still like pancakes? Because this place has the best pancakes.”

— —

It’s weird how easy it is, reconnecting with Bucky. Steve never spent much effort trying to find him after they lost touch. He just assumed that Bucky thought he was too cool for him when they got to high school, and it was almost a relief when he moved away during the summer before their junior year, just so Steve wouldn’t have to be reminded of the best friend he lost.

He wants to ask Bucky about it, but he doesn’t have to. Bucky just opens up during their second round of milkshakes.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“For what?” Steve asks.

“For when I stopped talking to you during high school. I know that it must’ve made you feel like shit.”

Steve fidgets. He doesn’t want to answer that.

“You know my parents were in a bad place.”

“They got divorced, right?” he asks.

Bucky nods. “But the last two years were… really bad.” He pauses, clears his throat. “I wasn’t hanging out with a great crowd. And I think I justified not talking to you because I didn’t want you to get involved with that crowd. But I more just think that I didn’t want you talking me out of the bad shit I was doing.”

Steve remembers the way that Bucky walked down the halls with his friends, rolling his eyes at Steve when he tried to talk to him. Of course, Steve tried to talk to him, tried having a showdown of some kind, but Bucky would just… walk away. He never bothered listening.

It hurt.

“And then my parents got divorced and my mom and I moved in with my Uncle Pierce, and…” He trails off.

“That’s the uncle who I met that one time, right? Who said I should be sent to a pray away the gay camp?”

“We had no money,” Bucky says.

“How was it?”

“I joined the Army as soon as I could,” Bucky says with a weak smile.

“Shit,” Steve says.

He shrugs. “I’m out now, and I’m doing pretty well for myself. Got my issues, but everyone else does.” Steve nods. “And besides, I’m free to do whatever I want now, so.”

“So you’re spending your time on Grindr?” Steve asks.

“You are, too!” Bucky says.

“My friends made me a profile!”

“No, Steve, you can’t take that excuse. I already used it.” He’s laughing, and Steve kicks him underneath the table.

“It’s true!”

“Yeah, yeah, Steve Rogers.” He stops laughing, just smiles. “Steve Rogers,” he repeats, quieter.

“That’s my name,” he says. The ‘don’t wear it out’ is implied.

He glances down at his shake, and stirs it with his straw. “I wanted to find you again for a while,” he admits, still looking down. “I debated about sending you a message for about an hour before I did.”

“I’m glad you did,” Steve says. “I’ve wondered a lot about what happened to you.”

“Do you think…” Bucky starts, looking up. He clears his throat. “Do you think that we could meet again sometime? I just… I feel like this is a second chance, and I don’t wanna mess it up.”

“I’d like to see you again,” Steve says, stomach tingling, and not from the milkshake.

“Cool,” Bucky says, and Steve feels his foot shift against his. He doesn’t move it away.

Steve doesn’t mind, just presses his own foot closer to Bucky’s, and looks forward to their future together.

Dog Days Are Over

Summary: You were already having a bad day, and then in walks Mr. Perfect and his best friend’s puppy. Oh, and he needs you to hurry because he’s got a blind date tonight, and he’s really nervous.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2,993

Author’s Note: Do you know how long this has been in my drafts? Anyways, here’s more fluff. Sorry I’ve been the Ebeneezer Scrooge of fluff, but I can’t help it that I’m a cynical, angsty bitch who likes to make people suffer.

Originally posted by thespoilerwitchblog

There were certain rules to being a veterinary technician.

Number one, waterproof mascara and eyeliner always! When the customer cries, you cry. Number two, carry a lint roller on you at all times; it’s best to get the pocket-sized one, because Mr. Twinkles sheds a lot! Number three, iron your scrubs! And it’s probably best to keep an extra pair in your car, because Mrs. Comier’s Jack Russell likes to pee on people.

Even though you knew these rules by heart, and you followed them every single day of your work-life, today was an exception. It was just one of those days that absolutely nothing- no matter how hard you tried- was going right. You were covered in fluffy cat hairs, Mrs. Comier’s Jack Russell peed on your leg twice, and you had run out of waterproof mascara; so when Mr. Langley brought in his thirteen year old Labrador to put her down, he cried, and so you cried, and in the end you looked like the raccoon that liked to sneak into the office dumpsters at closing.

Today just wasn’t your day.

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