i wanted to make this because i got no sleep last night because of this

Rare Collection of 100 Introvert Quotes That Will Make You Feel Understood

Originally posted by water-aesthetics

Dear introverts, it’s difficult to understand you. Many people don’t comprehend that solitude and feeling alone are different things. As an introvert, you know that your solitude is a sacred space where you can recharge. We encourage you to have a look at these amazingly thoughtful and profound quotes, which will resonate with all introverts.

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So let me tell you about this cat.

Anyone who knows me personally knows that in February of this year I was kicked out by my parents. This extremely nice family (the parents of an ex I dated almost 8 years ago who I’m still friends with. Go figure!) Took me in and I’ve been living with them ever since.

They have three dogs, which I’ve known for years. I only learned that they had a cat when I came to live with them.

“When did you get a cat?” I asked them.

“Oh, we’ve always had her. She’s just not very social.”

This is Snuggles (ironically named bc she was assumed to be the most un-snuggly cat).

I’ve never owned a cat. My mother was allergic so we always had dogs in the house. So, having a cat in the house was foreign and exciting for me. Whenever I would see her, I would try so very hard to interact with her. For the first few months I lived here, she avoided me.

The vacant bedroom that soon became mine used to be a storage room where she would prowl and sleep. So when I started to inhabit her space, she was kinda pissed. She would enter the room and find a place to chill, and just stare at me with these ‘this bitch’ eyes.

The family said she was just like that, so I tried not to let it get to me. The dogs liked me just fine.

Things slowly started to change. I first noticed it when I would come home from work, usually around 11 or 12 at night (I worked night shift at a fast food joint). Snuggles is an indoor/outdoor cat because she doesn’t like litter boxes and she knows how to use the dog door. She spends the day outside and comes in at night.

She began greeting me at my car when I would come home from work. She would come outside and sit halfway between the front door and the mailbox, and meow at me until I greeted her back. She wouldn’t let me pet her, but she would go inside the house with me.

Then, I would be cooking in the kitchen, and she would hop up on the counter and watch me. This is when she finally started to let me pet her. She has a jar of cat treats so I started to give her treats. She would meow and meow until I gave her treats.

After this, when she would greet me at my car, she would flop onto the cement and let me pet her outside. Only a little, though, because then she’d use her claws or nip at me.

Then, she began investigating me in my room.

She would hop up on the bed and wander around, smell my things, stick her head in my drinking glasses on the bedside table. I would come home from work and find her curled up in my blankets on my bed if I left my door even slightly open.

When I would close my door, she would meow or push herself against the door until I let her in. Then she’d jump up on my bed and make herself comfortable at the foot of my bed.

She didn’t start to actually snuggle with me until a month ago when I lost my job and my depression got really bad.

Every night she comes to my room and demands entrance so she can sleep with me. During the day or night she wants to be cuddled up with me in my room. She makes herself comfortable in my lap while I use my laptop or play with my 3DS. She’ll curl up behind my knees if she can’t get in my lap.

But just last week, she started doing something new.

When I sleep, I sleep on my side. I tuck a thin pillow between my legs for hip support, and I have a large, squishy, fluffy pillow I hug to my chest. I cannot sleep if I don’t have both of these things.

I was sound asleep one night, Snuggles curled up behind my knees, when I felt her climb up on top of me. She moved to the side of my belly, where it met my hugging-pillow, and she kneaded my side until she was content, and she curled up on top of me like I was a large cushion to sleep on.

Now, every night, she sleeps on top of me like so.

I’ve never owned a cat. I’m awkward with cats. This cat was previously unfriendly and aloof, but she knew that I needed her companionship. Knew that I needed a friend and love that I wasn’t getting elsewhere. This cat adopted me. This cat loves me. You can’t convince me otherwise.

R E A D Y F O R I T: is a more of a warning than a question. a sign of things to come. a simple warning shot before the gunfight. to let you know that something is about to happen. telling you to prepare yourself. it’s just the beginning in the over all story. 

E N D G A M E: is for the lovers who, despite the odds, believe they can make it through this crazy game called life. it’s wanting to break your reputation of bad endings and make this be the one that lasts forever. it’s adrenaline rushes and planning your whole life out with someone. 

I D I D S O M E T H I N G B A D: is for all the witches they were unsuccessful at burning. it’s lit fireworks crackling in your rib-cage and fiddling with the laces of your warn out combat boots and already ripped fishnets and applying perfectly winged eyeliner without trying and bright red lipstick to match the blood of your enemies.

D O N T B L A M E M E: is for the passionate, reckless, fearless lovers. the ones who fall in love without hesitation and without permission. they dive in head first without looking back. they don’t care if it makes them seem crazy because they would rather be crazily, passionately in love than live an indifferent and emotionless life. it’s for when you find that one person you would risk everything for. 

D E L I C A T E: is for the doubt that takes residence in your head and in your heart when you finally get the courage to dust yourself off and fall for someone new after you got your heart broken. it’s terrifying and temporary and fragile and beautiful because it’s fleeting. it can never last forever, or so you have been led to believe. it’s for the cautious dreamers. the damaged lovers who have been left for dead too many times to count. 

L O O K W H A T Y O U M A D E M E D O: is for the defeating moment when you finally take the blame just to ease the heat. it’s for when every one thinks that they finally buried you but like a phoenix, you rise from the ashes reborn. it’s taking a lighter and burning every thing to the ground. it’s finding out just how good revenge can feel. 

S O I T G O E S: is nights at bars and restaurants and films and parties and weekends that you know can’t possibly last forever. it’s silk dresses and high heels and smudged lipstick and scratches on your lovers back. it’s cashmere jumpers and messy hair and dark circles beneath your eyes because lately life has been so freeing, sleeping seems like a waste of time. 

G O R G E O U S: is for the endless summer nights and repeatedly making eye contact with the stranger across the bar. it’s starry eyes, rosy cheeks, and quiet seduction. it’s drinks in blues and pinks and tiny cocktail umbrellas and having so many you quit counting. it’s finding someone so physically flawless you can’t help but hate them, simply because you can’t have them. 

G E T A W A Y C A R: is for all of the lovers on the run from all of their past mistakes and rebounds. it’s for when they find someone with similar baggage and decide to find distraction in each other. it’s for seeking a fresh new start. it’s secretly kissing in diner booths, holding hands under the table, and kissing each other with recklessness on your lips. it’s knowing that this is temporary, but that’s what you love about it.

K I N G O F M Y H E A R T: for the boys and girls who make a key to their heart and give it to each other. it’s the truth and vulnerability one must have to be able to do that. it’s for the five am rooftop conversations. it’s getting dressed up just to dance with each other around the living room. 

D A N C I N G W I T H O U R H A N D S T I E D: it’s nights spent dancing with each other around the house. it’s lips that taste like safety, and that’s something you haven’t had in so long you’ve forgotten what it taste like. It’s the drop of your stomach just before you jump. This is for the desperate but hopeful lovers. 

D R E S S: is his drink in your hair, on your lips, in your hands. it’s crumpled bed sheets. it’s when the sun rises in the morning and your eyes meet the same sleeping lover beside you. it’s lace bra-lets and knee-high boots. 

W H Y W E C A N T H A V E N I C E T H I N G S: is for when the hurt and betrayed turn into the unforgiving and unafraid. it’s when your mouth is filled with unforgiving teeth. it’s reaching a point of anger, you can’t help but burst into laughter. you can’t help but joke about the whole thing. it’s shards of broken glass and anger to the point of apathy. 

C A L L I T W H A T Y O U W A N T: is for the lovers who find comfort and validation in one another. they don’t have anything to prove. it’s hand written lovers and blankets under covers. grinning from ear to ear alone in your room. the promise of something bigger than this. a taste of forever. it’s cups of tea in the morning and wine at night. it’s the kind of love that could inspire classic romance novels. 

N E W Y E A R S D A Y: is for when every one else has gone home and you are the only two remaining. when the party is over, but the best part of the night has yet to come. it’s time standing still when it’s just you two. it’s air kissed curls and deep two in the morning conversations on kitchen counters. it’s wanting to stay forevermore. 

something i want to happen

- all the boys teaching el to play d&d

-maybe even max if she doesn’t know

-maybe even steve joins one night cuz why not (plus he’s grown way attached to these kids)

-so they all pile into mike’s basement which is decked out with a bigger table to play on

-i mean they’ve got 3 new players they need room

-and the little cubby where el stayed is still there because mike and el will sit there and talk after school

-anyway so mike planned this campaign so well!!!! he wanted to make sure it was perfect so that el, max & steve have a fun first time

-it takes them ALL day and they still aren’t even finished but that’s okay because it’s saturday and they can come back to it

-and because it’s late and they all trust each other 100% now they all stay in the basement for the night

-they push the table to the side and gather up all the extra pillows and blankets they can find or that mrs. wheeler will let them take

-so they set up a huge area to lay on and they put a movie on

-not horror because they’ve had enough of that for the time being

-maybe raiders of the lost ark? or a star wars movie

-and they try their hardest to stay up and watch the whole thing but they just can not do it

-dustin knocks out first, then probably lucas and max (who are laying next to each other, kinda shyly)

-mike and el are next to each other too but they’re holding hands

-everyone eventually drifts off but el and steve are the last ones. steve has to make sure his children all fall asleep peacefully

-and el pretty much wants the same thing

-steve gets up and turns off the movie before laying down and going to sleep as well

-next morning mrs wheeler makes a LOT of food for breakfast (11 people is a lot to cook for but steve helps willingly)

-after the kids all finish they return to their game and they kill all the monsters and save whomever needs to be saved

-it lasts almost all day but they finish in time for dinner!!!

-after dinner everyone starts heading out

-jonathan takes will home because joyce still doesn’t want him biking or walking home alone at night

- hopper comes to pick up el but makes sure to say hi to everyone and gives them hugs

-steve gives dustin, lucas and possibly max rides home

-and mike and nancy see everyone off, staying out on their driveway until everyone is out of site and then going inside because there’s school the next day

-yeah that’s it i’m just soft and want them to be happy with normal lives at least a little bit

Mine (M)

Prompt: 💕 + Jungkook + “You have no idea what the fuck I’m capable of, babygirl.”

Pairing: Mafia boss! Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Warnings: bondage, slapping, killing (a little blood), Sir kink, humiliation, Dom! Jungkook, degrading names, begging, orgasm denial

Notes: For my (very late, i’m sorry) 3k present <3 I hope it’s good enough. 2.2k Words

Originally posted by jeonbase

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#teddy #auror #unresolved sexual tension

Prompts: @foxesandwands
Author: @queenofthyme

If you had told Harry Potter, back in his first year of Hogwarts, that he’d be sharing custody of a child with Draco Malfoy, he would have laughed. Loudly. But here he was, fifteen years later, and one of Teddy Lupin’s two legal guardians.

When Harry had accepted Remus’s offer to be Teddy’s godfather, although in the thick of war, he still never considered he’d actually have to raise someone else’s child. Teddy’s grandmother, Andromeda, had taken care of Teddy originally, which Harry was glad of - a 17 year old did not a father make. Still, he made sure to visit often. He knew what it was like to grow up without parents.

Harry wasn’t surprised that Draco visited just as often. Andromeda was his aunt after all, making Teddy his first cousin once removed.

Harry didn’t make a fuss the first time they’d bumped into each other at Andromeda’s, even though the last time they’d seen each other had been at Hogwarts, in the middle of a war, on opposite sides. He trusted Andromeda, and if she, as fiercely protective as she was, trusted Draco around Teddy, that was enough for Harry to do the same. Although, he still watched closely, curious to understand Draco’s behaviour.

Years past and Andromeda grew weary. She had already raised one child, and she was far too old to be chasing after another. As godfather, Harry knew it was his responsibility to take over as Teddy’s guardian, and no longer a teenager, he felt like he was ready. But Draco had insisted that it was he who should become guardian, as a blood relative.

They had argued like they might have back in their Hogwarts days, with taunts and snide jabs, even a  few hexes, before Andromeda put a stop to it. “How do either of you expect to raise a child if you still act like children yourselves?” She had yelled at them both, her words striking home as always.

Shared custody was Andromeda’s idea, but they both agreed it would be the best option for Teddy. He had already grown attached to both of them, and they both loved Teddy as if he was their own. On that, they were in agreement, if nothing else.

These days, they saw a lot of each other. Teddy made sure of that. They hadn’t quite reconciled all their differences, but they were civil, even polite to each other. They had to be for Teddy. But there was such a coldness to their interactions sometimes, that Harry wondered if it would be better if they just went at it, like they really wanted to. Said what they were really thinking.

Like that time when Draco dropped Teddy off at Harry’s office in the middle of a work day because he had an appointment, and Harry said, “Of course, no problem Draco. Please take your time,” but what he’d really wanted to say was, “You couldn’t have given me some warning so I could plan my day around this, you inconsiderate prat?”

Or the time Draco had taken Teddy on holiday and returned a day later than expected, and Harry said, “That’s okay, Draco, I’m glad you’re both back. I’m sure Teddy had a great time,” but what he’d really wanted to say was, “I thought you were both dead you selfish jerk, you never thought to owl ahead to let me know?”

Or last week when Draco had to reschedule their agreed custody routine because he had a date on Thursday night and Harry said, “Hope you have a lovely night,” but what he’d really wanted to say was, “I hope your date throws wine in your face and leaves you with the bill.”

It’s not like Teddy didn’t know what was going on. He was a perceptive kid. The whole situation was ridiculous.

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Eight Months.

Even eight months after the break up, Harry still felt the overwhelming urge to check up on you and your life. He would check your social media accounts a few times a week, more so before going to bed when thoughts of you plagued his mind. It felt naughty, wrong in a way; after all, it was him who ended your two year relationship.

*

“It’s never going to change, Harry! Things will always be the same! You ‘forgot’ my birthday and you spent the day with Kendall. You ‘forgot’ our date night and you spent the evening with Cara. I know it’s what the media want and expect from you, and I know management want you to do this, but I think you want to as well” you sigh, the words you had held for so long in your mouth now finally spilling out.

“You’re joking, right? That was a joke? You seriously think I want to spend any spare time I have with Kendall or Cara over you? Management need me to do this, if I don’t, I can kiss goodbye to my pay cheque! Half the things I do in this job is for you! How the fuck else would you get the latest handbags and purses and shoes?! Who else is going to pay for your education? Because I don’t see you or your family offering to cough up!” he spits almost bitterly.

You gasp in shock at his words. He knew your financial situation at home and that your parent’s worked so bloody hard to provide for you, but it just wasn’t enough. Your future career depended on your qualifications, and those qualifications could only be acquired in higher education in which Harry had offered to pay for, before he knew anything about the money side of things.

“Really, Harry? That’s how you feel? You think I’m with you for the money? I don’t give a damn about the shoes or bags and purses or latest fashion trends. I love you because you’re my boyfriend and I see myself living the rest of my life with you. I don’t love you because you’re Harry Styles from One Direction!” you spit back, your words truthful.

“I’ve heard that one before” he tells you, his eyes averting to the floor.

“So now you’ve got trust issues with me? Other girls may have treated you like that in the past, but I’m not like other girls, Harry. Two years we’ve been together and you really think that of me? When you guys broke up as a band, and you didn’t know what was going to happen to your music career, who was the one sitting up with you every night holding you whilst you cried? Other girls would have run a mile because of the uncertainty of your future. I love you even if you have nothing!” you shout at him.

Harry shrugs his shoulders and bites his lip. “Look, it’s not even just this causing arguments. They’ve been going on for a while and maybe having Kendall and Cara as friends is something you can’t handle. But I can’t live my life like this anymore. I’m done arguing with you all the time” he tells you softly.

“You’re making it sound like I don’t want you having friends, which isn’t true. I want you to put me first, like you did at the start of our relationship. You would have done anything back then for me, Harry. I hate arguing with you too. Maybe if we arrange some sort of schedule and arrange dates in advance to see each other?” you suggest.

Harry shakes his head. “I think it’s too little too late, (Y/N).”

You frown, your bottom lip beginning to quiver as you ask the dreaded question. “Are you breaking up with me.”

Harry’s eyes avert to the floor once more and the silence between you both speaks more volumes than words ever could.

*

Your Instagram account had been almost inactive for the first month after the break up, with only the occasional bog-standard photos of new make-up purchases and Starbucks coffee. But no selfies and nothing that indicated any happiness in your life. After three months, your social media accounts portrayed some happiness returning to your life as you took selfies with friends on regular nights out, but Harry knew as well as anyone that social media is one massive cover up for reality. Were you really actually happy? Were you living or were you just alive?

It seemed to him that your life continued to appear happy, but after four months of opening the app, he noticed someone by your side. Photograph after photograph, upload after upload, this person would be stood next to you. You had a side when taking photos with Harry, but now somebody else was standing on Harry’s side, taking his place, standing where he should be standing. Then tagging each other on Twitter began taking place. Simple things such as “coffee dates” and memes.

Five months after the messy break up, Harry sighted a picture of the two of you kissing; you and your new beau, as it was publicised. Your lips on his, no doubt his tongue down your throat and he wanted to vomit. It didn’t make social media, but it made the headlines in the news. The media had left you alone a little while after the break up, but of course, a new relationship for you meant gossip amongst the public, especially One Direction fans and Harry girls, and the tabloids couldn’t resist the opportunity.

Upon reaching seven months, Harry noticed another change in you on social media. You were becoming more and more inactive by the day, rarely replying to tweets and the amount of photographs posted reduced. Anybody else would put it down to business in studying and spending time with loved ones, but Harry knew how much you had loved your interactions on social media, and something didn’t sit quite right with him. But then he remembered that he’s not yours and you’re not his, and you have someone else taking care of you now.

*

Eight months later, and Harry still had you on his mind almost every minute of the day. He would awake in the morning with the help of his alarm but your hair wasn’t sprawled across the pillows as he would expect; he no longer bothered eating breakfast in the mornings; gone are the days when he used keep something warm on the stove for you, for when you awoke, ensuring you had something warm for your hungry tummy in the mornings; he had nobody to send a morning text to. His routine was completely out of sync and nothing over the last few months made it any better.

He would come home every evening to an empty apartment. He had nobody to cook dinner for. He had nobody to talk to about his day. He had nobody to snuggle up to at night. He had nobody to kiss. He had nobody to love and he had nobody to love him.

Some nights would be simple; Harry would climb into bed and flick on the television, watching a favourite film in which he no longer got pleasure out of. He’d check his social media, and then check yours, before setting his alarm and falling asleep, his dreams of you haunting him throughout the night.

Other nights, he’d yearn for you. He loved you, still loves you, and wants nothing more than to hold you whilst you sleep and keep you safe in his embrace. But he would yearn for you in other ways too, awakening in the night from happy dreams of you, his cock hard for you. He would lay awake between the sheets, grinding his hips into them and rubbing himself vigorously as he imagined being inside of you. He would let himself go completely when he could imagine the moans that would leave your lips, the breathlessness you would encounter, and it was as though he could almost feel you come around him.

He hadn’t been in another relationship since the split, but there had been a couple of one night stands. In a way to get over you, ironically, he would fuck others that had similar traits to you. The same hair colour, the same laugh, the same smile. But neither of those girls were you. He didn’t really want them, they just happened along with the alcohol consumption of both parties involved. After two girls, he stopped. He wasn’t sure if it was the reality of the situation that made him stop, or if it was the slap he received one night.

*

The music was pounding against the speaker, the DJ’s were screaming out and giving shoutouts, mostly for people’s birthday’s and other celebrations, bartenders were leaning over the bar in an attempt to actually hear what the customers were ordering in the club, and everyone was like sardines, squashed together, but everyone seemed to be enjoying it and having a good time. Everyone except Harry.

He occasionally moved around and shuffled his feet in an attempt to dance, but he felt so lost without you there. He kept an eye out to see if you were around, almost forgetting that you didn’t go there together. He always used to keep an eye on you, making sure you were safe on the dance floor and that no drunken men took advantage of you. He was your protector. 

“What’s your name?” a young blonde asked. That was the only thing that was same about the two of you. You’re blonde and so was she. But she wasn’t you. Harry wasn’t too sure if she was just acting oblivious to the fact that he was the most famous, most well-known person in the club, or whether she was just so drunk that she barely knew her own name, let alone his.

“Harry” he told her, placing his hand on the small of her back and pulling her closer so as they could hear each other’s spoken words over the thumping music.

The girl nods. “Louise” she tells him. “Fancy getting out of here?” she asks. 

Harry nods. He realises she’s not as drunk as he thought she was, but taking in her features, she looked a few years older than him. Maybe she really didn’t know who he was.

“Mine or yours?” she asks as they stumble out of the nightclub and onto the streets of London. Louise quickly hails a taxi as Harry replies, “yours.”

Whilst his own place seemed more appealing as he wouldn’t have the awkward ‘leaving after a shag’ stage, he didn’t want to take her, or anyone, to his bed. Only you got the privilege to be in his bed. He didn’t fuck anyone else in his bed, only you. He didn’t want anyone else to come in the sheets besides the two of you together and for each other.

The taxi ride back to hers was soon over and they stumbled through her apartment, his lips pressed to hers. Their eyes remained closed as he thought about you. Undressing you. Running his hands up and down your body and caressing your breasts as you laid all bare for him, for his eyes only.

Harry breathlessly pulls aways as he lifts up the miniskirt. They both quickly realise this is nothing more than sex up against the wall. She’s not taking him to bed either, and Harry wonders if Louise is also getting over someone. Within the next thought, he doesn’t care. He does’t love Louise. He loves (Y/N).

The blonde grabs at his belt, unbuckling it and unzipping his trousers, his length exposed to her. He quickly reaches into his back pocket before letting his trousers drop and rips open the packaging. Covering himself with the latex, he soon pushes himself into her. She gasps, taking him in, before moving quickly against him.

They’ve both been drinking and he knows his performance will be affected greatly, so he’s not surprised when he quickly comes inside of her, moaning her name. She gasps and he withdraws from her quickly. Before even getting the chance to dress himself, her hand collides with his cheek.

“Louise! I told you my name is Louise!” she yells at him angrily.

And in that moment, he realises that he moaned your name when he came.

*

He arrived home from the studio and continued his evening rituals. No work the following day meant he could have a later night and whilst he was glad to be able to sleep in later and not have the demands of an alarm clock, he knew from experience that on a day off where he lacked a busy schedule, you would be on his mind more than ever.

The night passed with Harry doing nothing more than eating his evening meal and lounging around in front of the television, flicking through channels to find something to entertain him for a few hours. He occasionally reached for the bottle of whiskey, pouring himself small measures each time. Whilst the drinking had become a regular habit a few months back, Harry had realised that drowning his problems with alcohol helped nobody, not even himself, and he kicked the habit almost as quickly as it had started. No amount of alcohol got you out of his head.

The comedy shows provided some entertainment, and whilst there were a few forced laughs, Harry did find some of the jokes genuinely funny. He couldn’t remember the last time he laughed properly.

Tapping his watch with a yawn, he checked the time. Flicking off the television set, he threw the remotes back on the sofa and picked his body up from the position he had been in for hours. A loud, repeated knock on the door made him jump slightly. The banging got harder and more frantic and he could only wonder who would be calling in on him at this hour. “Alright, I’m coming!” he yelled in frustration. Couldn’t his unwanted and unwelcome guest wait two minutes?!

Heading into the hallway, he unlocked the door, pouting his lips to express his emotion, making sure the person on the other side of it knew he was angry at the disturbance and the complete lack of respect for him and his property. As far as they were aware, he may well have had work the next morning. Swinging the door open,  he gasps, taking in the demeanour of the person standing in front of him, the sight almost killing him as bile rose in his stomach and a nauseous feeling took control of his body.

safe haven

Summary: Eggsy’s safe haven is in the last place he would’ve thought to look.

Pairing: Eggsy Unwin x Reader

Warnings: Language, angst

Word Count: 1.7k

A/N: This is somewhat rushed, but I just had to get this out, especially after seeing K:TGC. Hopefully you all enjoy this! | masterlist


Originally posted by just--a--figment


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If MCR Songs Were People

This probably already exists but I spent two hours doing this instead of sleeping. Tell me which song you’re most like.

Welcome to the Black Parade: has a flair for the dramatic, doesn’t know how to do a smoky eye, was in the marching band in high school, daddy issues.

Sleep: has insomnia, PTSD, nightmares, is self deprecating, just wants to go the fuck to sleep

Destroya: probably gay, moans like a bitch during sex, pretty fucking hardcore, shit immune system though, lives for anarchy

House of Wolves:
will burn in hell (or believes they will), is a bad mother fucker, has a sister who should be scared, pyromaniac, “Catholic”

Vampire Money: all over the place, drinks a lot but parties like a beast, has a Bowie obsession, likes driving fast and loud music

Na Na Na: really artistic, pansexual, likes to scream lyrics, rebel at heart, probably still wears bandanas, sunglasses and boots all day every  day, fuck the government

Cancer: is dying, will die, all of your friends will die, actually doesn’t have any friends, really depressed, in pain, martyr

S.I.N.G: activist, owns jeggins, would join an underground gang if they had the balls, likes neon things for some unknown reason

Early Sunsets Over Monroeville: loves zombies, probably owns a Hawaiian   shirt, really quiet and doesn’t talk much, hangs out in shopping centres/malls but never buys anything

Demolition Lovers: is probably part of an underground gang, has to go away for “work” a lot, has a shotgun in the trunk of their car, teal,  unrequited love

Helena: recent death in the family, super fucking dramatic, lots of makeup, always wears black (maybe some red), nail polish is always chipped, imagines/fantasises things that will never happen all the time

Teenagers:
super punk, goes to concerts all the time, will break shit just for fun, has authority issues, probably friends with a lot of delinquents, is a delinquent, doesn’t read books, drinks a lot

Famous Last Words:
is constantly having an existential crisis, really   committed when it comes to relationships, cowboy boots, goes outside at midnight for no reason

I Don’t Love You: always heartbroken, never cuts hair, plays guitar,  goes on road trips when things get difficult, super emotional, cries a lot

I’m Not Okay:
is still in high school, I don’t care if they’re 39  they’re still in high school, hates high school, does stupid shit all  the time because fuck it, high school, is not okay, is friends with  weird people, high school

Mama: PTSD, self deprecating, mama’s boy/girl/person, has a sick sense of humour, laughs manically for no reason, cutthroat

You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison: probably gay, went to prison, had a fuck tonne of bitches (I’m kidding, they were actually the  bitch to a fuck tonne of other people), can’t adjust, has issues with  family

Headfirst for Halos: epic, is not okay, always trying to think  positively but is screaming inside, thinks about doing stupid shit all  the time (i.e. Putting a gun to their head)

Vampires Will Never Hurt You: screams a lot, has a vampire fettish, hates Twilight with a passion, has never gone outside, wouldn’t mind dying if I was a wooden stake to the heart, sucks dick

The Ghost of You:
fought in WWII, had a pretty girlfriend, wears round glasses with gold rims, is tall and lanky, has a brother, gets shot in  the chest, screams, dies

The Light Behind Your Eyes: is finding ways to deal with severe depression, cries a bit but quietly, reads a lot of books, all their friends are dead, trying to stay strong despite the fact they’re dying inside, sings like an angel

Give ‘em Hell Kid: lives life fast, probably has killed someone, wears red and like khaki green, shouts a lot, belongs in a 2005 MTV short, lives life on the edge, fatalistic

To The End: has read Dante’s Inferno, is a mafioso, fatalistic, has  probably organised the death of many people, likes to drink cyanide, sleeps a lot, owns diamond jewellery, likes cake

The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You: has no faith in life, likes western movies, will yell at you, has  applied for a license to kill, likes to sleep with people (like nap I  mean)

Thank You For The Venom: likes snakes, has probably almost OD’d, hates  the doctors, is stubborn, death obsessed, has probably stabbed someone, wears striped long sleeve t-shirts, hates running, hopes to be shot one day

Hang 'Em High: is death obsessed, clinically insane, screams a lot,  always makes a lot of aesthetic statements about things with black and  white connotations, Catholic, fuck off

It’s Not a Fashion Statement It’s a Fucking Death Wish: swears in front  of their parents, wears their mum’s clothes, is obsessed with killing  enemies, is always predicting their death to be soon.

Cemetery Drive: all too real, has a girlfriend, likes to hang out in  cemeteries, girlfriend has issues and ended her life, now has issues  because of it, drinks a lot, really fucking depressed

I Never Told You What I Do For A Living: is 100% a serial killer, sociopath, also has OCD, scary as shit

The End: is dying, but isn’t too sad, wishes to attend their own funeral  as a ghost, has no self confidence, can’t be fucking bothered growing  up, doesn’t give a shit, is very chill, wears yellow accessories

Dead!: Is dead, is having a party about being dead, wondering if all the  assholes in their life are in hell, no one actually likes them, laughs  at inappropriate moments, is a great dancer

This Is How I Disappear: really fucking dramatic, will be upset and   disappear if you break up with them, dramatic, is a part time satanist, will make a voodoo doll of you if you fuck with them, candles

The Sharpest Lives: goes out late at night, never showers, drinks   heavily, would probably go cannibal if it was legal, always in pain,   lives life on the fucking edge, will burn large objects, has sinus   issues

Disenchanted: is constantly torn, never actually cries, writes books,  likes to take chances, likes birds, got in trouble with the police for  some stupid but really fun shit, friends need to get their shit together  and learn a lesson

Bulletproof Heart: Gravity doesn’t mean to much to them, has self  confidence but not enough to stop running away, runs away a lot, wears  really funky colourful clothing, is very kind but misunderstood

Planetary GO!: goes to a lot of cool night clubs, knows how to fucking  party, is still very punk on the inside, sweats a lot (bc they dance a  lot), jumps up and down for no fucking reason

The Only Hope For Me Is You: is obsessed with being remembered, only has  one friend, is kinda depressed and really needs someone to hold onto,  but is also really questioning life and society, wants to run away to a  more aesthetic place

Party Poison: speaks fluent Japanese (cough I mean Weeaboo), watches a  lot of anime, loves Kpop and Jpop fashion, will party but goes to the  weirdest parties, dyes their hair, fuck the bullshit meaning of life  they do what they want

Save Yourself I’ll Hold Them Back: is a badass, known for being a  badass, stole your mum’s car and took you on the best date ever, wears a  lot of leather, ready for a fight, probably gets into a lot of fights  anyway, probably once looked like Danny from Greece

SCARECROW: is probably on LSD, smokes a lot of weed, is really chill,  too fucking chill, wears psychedelic t-shirts, is actually a  philosophical genius, reads a lot of poetry

Summertime: they might go outside if it’s summer, listens to music with  headphones on full blast, goes on the train a lot, likes to walk around  listening to music and pretends they’re making the aesthetic parts of  the music video they’re listening to, soft kitty

The Kids From Yesterday: is constantly nostalgic, loves Star Wars and  Queen, always having flashbacks, wears yellow and read things, feels  misunderstood, trying to figure out the meaning of life

Honey, This Mirror Isn’t Big Enough For The Two Of Us: likes Fall Out  Boy when they had long song titles, has issues, a lot of issues, ugly  screams a lot, doesn’t care, wears dark denim jackets, hates this girl  who fucked their brother

Drowning Lessons: has a lot of anxiety, constantly worried, always  running away from problems and situations, can’t swim, always has  regrets, has pink things

Our Lady Of Sorrows: was in a gang once, loves to get into switchblade fights, is really scary and bloodthirsty, believes in pagan gods, but   will protect you, blood blood blood.

Skylines and Turnstiles: saw 9/11 happen, life was changed because of  it, decided that they wanted to be in a band, made a band with brother  and his fren, got some dreadlocked weed smoking fanboy to join, the  drummer is an asshole x3, breaks up after 12 years, deems it to be a  good idea, scared of butane

This Is The Best Day Ever: this is the worst day ever, has no rhythm, is  really confused with what is going in, went to hospital a lot and hated  it, screams a bit, is a bit scared of needles, studded belts, suck dick

Cubicles: will die alone (or at least they think), hates their job, the  only thing that entertains them at work is people gossiping at the water  cooler, is actually having a severe existential crisis

Boy Division: is friends with people who would have a fucking rocking  funeral, stalks school girls, looks dead but only dresses that way,  likes to sing about California, paranoid all the time

Tomorrow’s Money: fell in love with a vampire, slightly aggressive, can  surf, stopped screaming three years ago, wants to be a doctor, hates   people who are thought of as heroes, ruined converses

AMBULANCE: screams in an aesthetically pleasing way, thinks you know  nothing, super weird, goes out after dark, likes to drive big cars,  wouldn’t mind driving, is super reliable even when they let you down

Gun.: was probably conscripted into the military, actually hates   violence and guns, wants to stay at home all the time, likes to call the  shots, owns an old uniform that they’ll never throw out

The World Is Ugly: likes Blade Runner and fairy lights, thinks weird  people are very beautiful, insanely observant of other people’s  behaviours, wears knee high socks and converses, hates the world because  it’s terrible

Kiss The Ring: belongs in an alternate universe where it’s still the  medieval time but rock bands exist, is probably a contract killer, likes  to overthrow the king every five years, has really fucked up logic  about why it’s okay to kill a lot of people, cutthroat

Make Rooom!!!!: probably goes to discos, does not panic at them,  actually has some self confidence but always gets into stupid situations  and flails, wears the tightest pants in the world, wears earrings with  crosses on them

Surrender the Night: constantly lonely, likes to drive long distances to  think, lost a loved one, has cool patches on their jacket, has been to  hospital twice, likes to listen to you, always keeps secrets unless you  fuck with them

Burn Bright
: likes going to the city just to look at all the lights,   walks around and thinks that certain things would look nice on Tumblr,   unstable, can be aggressive, very in tune with their surroundings, kind of a Buddhist

Common People: your average person, always struggling financially, wears  a lot of blue, always falls in love with shallow rich girls for no  reason, really just wants to live however the fuck they want

Every Snowflake Is Different: loves children’s TV shows, goes to the  snow every year, loves winter and hot chocolate, will cry if you take  their toys away, will be a good parent, too busy having fun to give a  fuck

Desolation Row: got beat up at school, is now in a cutthroat gang, spits  a lot, wears a lot of eyeliner, likes Grease but is also super punk  rock, hates wearing underwear, likes to break shit all the time

Desert Song: is recovering from a drug addiction, is still in a really  dark place, trying to stay strong, is questioning the meaning of life,  probably had teal roots at some stage

Black Dragon Fighting Society: drinks juice when they’re killing because  it’s fucking delicious, really likes dragons, reads too much, hates  society, would run away but that would mean no books and no juice so no  fucking way, likes hot pink and black

Zero Percent: hates everyone, would kill everyone, really hates people,  does whatever the fuck they want, will kill everybody, will put zero   effort into school or work, does their own thing.

Mastas of Ravenkroft: worried about growing old, has no self confidence,  will only have sex if the lights are turned off, feels very old at a  very young age because of shitty bones, also has no fucking chill

F.T.W.W.W.:
fuck society, is super digital, but also really retro,   always tells people to kiss their ass, lives in a futuristic society,   likes robots, has a licking fettish, likes to destroy shit, will   probably spit randomly

We Don’t Need Another Song About California: Summertime’s long lost  twin, really doesn’t give a shit about California, but likes the sun,  probably lives in Florida, hates magazines, probably has a fake name,  thinks that nothing matters

All The Angels: is dying, has minutes left, girlfriend has issues   because she’s a little risky, everything has gone wrong, everyone is   upset, probably died three years ago, never went to heaven, likes pretty  flowers and dead things

Romance:
a complete and utter 1800s Romantic, has probably ready  Frankenstein, wants to go on epic journeys, never showers, likes spices,  old fashioned, would probably get into the steampunk fashion thing

Blood: is forever in the 1920s, was a war hero but hates themself,  laughs manically sometimes, has a thing for blood but hates vampires,  90% human wreckage, 23% awful fuck, 8% bad at math, 14% clueless

13.05 coda

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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The sun sets early this time of year. The sky starts to change color as Dean pushes the Impala along towards Meadows’ house of horrors; the violent orange of the sunset gleams across the chrome lining the windshield and gilds everything over. Dean glances away from the road for a second when the glare hits him in the eye. Sam had his head turned towards the window, but he looks over when he feels Dean do so, too.

“So, uh,” he says, clearing his throat. “You ended up at the Clam Dive after all.”

Dean’s mouth quirks for a second, but it doesn’t last. “Mm.”

Sam taps his fingers against the door. “Worth the four and a half stars?”

Easing the Impala around a corner plunges the driver’s side into shadow. Dean ticks his head away from the light. “Don’t let the name fool you. That is one classy joint.”

Sam scoffs. “I’m sure.”

Dean doesn’t reply. The sun dips lower on the horizon.

“So, you’re. You’re working through it, then,” Sam says, unable to stay quiet. “Business as usual. It’s… working.”

Dean clenches his hands on the steering wheel and hopes that Sam doesn’t notice. The first stars of the night have started to come out, visible just beyond the stained-purple clouds.

“Yeah. See? Totally fine.”

He doesn’t tell Sam that most of the time he spent at the Clam Dive was at the bar. He doesn’t tell Sam that he only sat by the stage once he was drunk enough to start seeing double. He doesn’t tell Sam that he didn’t have any fun even though he tried all his old tricks and every cheesy line in the book and even pushed some of his boundaries a little farther than usual. He doesn’t tell Sam that he drove the Impala full-blown wasted and didn’t even care because why would it even matter if he ended up –

He doesn’t tell Sam about the death sentence he keeps in his duffle bag. He doesn’t tell Sam that he tried to crawl into bed once he got back to the motel but the thought of doing so made him so lonely that he’d actually rather sleep on the floor.

Point is: there’s a lot he doesn’t tell Sam.

Keep reading

She is…

A Harry Styles imagine

Based on this request:

Hey could you plzz do an imagine of you not feeling well throughout the day and Harry comes hone and is kinda pissed at you for some reason and you suddenly faint while you arguing. After in the hospital he feels so bad and is worried and it ends with fluff

Enjoy! Requests are open!

~

Ever since you woke up this morning, you’ve been feeling a bit…off. Not the “I’m getting sick” or “something bad is about to happen” kind of off, but there was something that tied a knot in the pit of stomach that has remained there ever since. When you first woke up, you noticed Harry, your boyfriend of almost one and a half year, being gone, even though he was supposed to have few more days off to spend with you before going to do his shows in Australia. You at first hestitated to text him, but you did anyways, asking him where had he gone, but received no reply. Deciding against doing something more or less productive while waiting for Harry to return, hoping he had only ran out to catch some take out, since you had been craving it during the night, even going as far as waking your him up in hopes that he might go and fetch you some, but without a luck. As you tiptoed down the downstairs, the cold floor hitting your bare feet, a sudden feeling of dizziness took over you, making you grip the shelves on the wall next to the stairway, accidentally knocking over a few of Harry’s old childhood pictures, most of them gifted by Robin on his last birthday. Seeing the pictures lying on the floor with shreds of glass around them made you even more dizzy, as Harry had been having a hard time coping with the sad news ever since he passed away. Once you had gained your ability to walk and see straight, you wasted no time in trying to clean the mess up, hoping to fix the broken frames before Harry notices something being out of place, seeing that these were somehow similar to the frames you had recently bought and still had in spare. But the recent mishaps seemed to be following you around as you went, and, as you were picking up the last small pieces of the remaining shreds, a sudden bolt of the door shutting startled you, making you accidentally cut yourself in the palm of your hand. Harry’s heavy boots echoed though the otherwise empty and quiet house, making you inwardly curse to yourself for being so clumsy, knowing a storm is about to hit you.

“(Y/N)! Where are you? I bought some food I thought you might like, to make up fo- what is this?!” He asked in disbelief, at first not noticing you crouched over the broken frames.

“Harry, I-I can explain, I’m so-“

“Sorry? You are sorry?! You broke them!!! With the pictures Robin himself gave me as a present!! How could you be so heartless?? You know how much they mean to me!!” He raged, kicking the bucket full of scraps, sending them flying across the floor. He bent down, trying to pick up the pictures himself, with you trying to help.

“Leave it, you have done enough already” he spat, gripping your wounded hand in order to stop you from even touching them, making pain shoot right through you.

“Harry, I said I’m sorry, it was an accident…” you breathed out, silent tears sliding down your cheeks.

“No. No, (Y/N). Don’t start this. At first you cancel our last night’s plans, because you “just felt like staying in”, even though we were not the only ones going and I had to find a silly excuse as to why, then you wake me up god knows how early just to tell me that you want food, and now this! What is wrong with you?!?” He fumed, but his rant became more distant with time and once again the feeling of dizziness took over you, this time sending you in the depths of darkness, making the shards of glass pierce your skin as your body hit the floor.


Harry’s POV


I was livid. The last few days have been a mess - so much to do, yet so little time. Not to mention the lack of sleep. The making of new music, arranging the new additional tour dates and interviews, making sure I get everything done before I take off to Australia was taking its toll on me. And her. (Y/N). God forgive me for leaving her like this the whole time. I’ve missed her so much, and the thought of me leaving her has been driving me mad. Especially this time, even though I cannot fully understand why. Every minute spent together with her has been leading me to the edge of breaking, either in tears or rage, and this time rage took over. It’s not like she has done anything wrong, no. It’s just that the more time we spend together alone, the more I don’t want to leave, making me consider postponing the tour, to which my management would never agree to. And the fans…

Last night we were supposed to go out for a nice dinner with my team, making it important to actually show up, since I was the one who initially came up with the idea. Having to lie made me angry, not because I could not understand that (Y/N) was not feeling her best, but the fact that she realised that only an hour before the actual meeting, making me look bad infront of important people. Even though I was more than glad to finally get a good night’s sleep, (Y/N) decided otherwise, which is the reason for my cranky mood today, since I had refused to get up, guilt eating me, as I felt her shuffle further away from me, mumbling a “sorry” as she did so. Waking up this morning, however, was when I decided I cannot keep up my behaviour and took a drive to the nearest take out place, knowing very well she would forgive me for being a massive dick. I don’t even want to talk about what happened when I arrived home. Something inside of me just snapped…

Seeing her fall, however, was the worst feeling I’ve felt in a long time. Watching the love of my life fall on top of a layer of scraps that I had initially scattered there in the fit of rage I was having, made me sick in my stomach, and seeing her unconscious and bleeding just about broke my heart. I rushed towards her and craddled her in my arms, shaking her for the dear life, hoping to see her beautiful eyes look up to me, telling me that this was all just a bad dream, and that everything is alright…

Once I took her to the hospital for the doctors to take care of her and find out what caused the fainting, praying to myself that I was not the reason behind it, I couldn’t help but to fear the worst. I kept repeating everything I said to her in my mind, wincing at how rude and unnecessary that was. I couldn’t help but to sob next to her bed, praying for her to wake up and forgive me, to hold me the way I’m holding her now and to tell me that everything is okay. That it will be okay… It will, right?

When the doctor came in, I couldn’t help but to jump up from my chair, asking him to give me the answers I oh so desperately wanted to know.

“Mr.Styles, you have got to calm down. The stitching was done professionally, so the scaring will be little to none with the right precautions taken. The fainting, however, is something I am more concerned about..” the doctor trailed off, making my heart sink.

“Wh-what is it?” I sniffled, not caring about anyone noticing my current state.

“Well, she has been lacking on the intake of vitamins, which, in her case, has lead this far, thus harming her immune system, not to mention the stress, but with the right diet and excercise, they should be fine.”

“I-I’m sorry, did I hear correct? They?”

Oh, yes, they. She is pregnant!

Emmett’s Top Surgery Guide

Alright so a few people have asked me to do this so here we go-

(I hope I covered everything)

What do I need to prepare for?

  1. Get clothes together. You will probably not have the energy or motivation to change, so have some sweat pants and a few shirts. I recommend zip up hoodies because buttons are too hard sometimes. Really, zippers are the best. You can deal with buttons 2 weeks post op when it’s easier.
  2. Prepare food. This is especially important if you’re gonna be alone a lot or if you’re stubborn like me and don’t like asking for help. Cooking is gonna be hard, so get easy things. Ramen, other microwaveable soups. You can do it stovetop too if it’s not too high for you to reach (I’m 5'2" and it was a bit hard for me). Chips and pretzels and crackers and cookies are also good because it’s tasty and good to just have by you for if you get nauseous and need a quick bite or if you jsut can’t make yourself get up. I know it’s not healthy but let yourself live a little. I also bought some chicken tenders and stuff like that to throw in the oven because do have a freezer that’s on its own so I could reach all the stuff. I love coffee but the coffee pot was too far back for me to reach and the mugs were way too high so I bought some of the cold pre made Starbucks and dunkin donuts coffees. Also have money to order food possibly depending on how long you’re laid up and what you can do.
  3. Have things to drink. A good water bottle or Styrofoam cup is important. Having water and tea and other liquids is important because the pain meds and antibiotics can dehydrate you and you will be a bit dehydrated from surgery in general. Hydration can also make you feel more energetic too.
  4. Queue up some movies and shows. Netflix (or recorded shows or on demand shows or dvds or blue rays or whatever) is amazing. I watched a lot of parks and rec and also paranormal survivors. You’re gonna have a lot of time and you’ll be sleepy and it might be hard to focus so easy things to watch are good
  5. Have a place to sleep. I slept on a recliner in my living room for about 2 and a half weeks post op. I did try to sleep in my room but I kept rolling over and it hurt so much. I wasn’t able to sleep on my stomach a whole night until about 3 and a half weeks post op. The recliner was amazing. If you don’t have that, lots and lots of pillows to put on 3 sides of you work too. My headboard has shelves built in so I couldn’t use pillows to prop myself up, but my grandmother got a surgical wedge for me and putting blankets and pillows around that helped when I moved back to my room
  6. Have help scheduled. If you’re alone most of the time, have a visiting nurse or friend or family member come check on you and help you out for a couple hours. Having someone with you all day is ideal, but you don’t have to, and I know that’s not possible for everyone.
  7. Have a mental health care plan. This is important whether you’re mentally ill or not. Top surgery brings up a lot of emotions and many people experience mood swings and depression after surgery. This happens because surgery is trauma to your body, even if it’s good. Your mind is trying to understand why there is missing flesh and all of that can be overwhelming. The pain meds don’t help with that either.
  8. Get a long phone charger. As long as possible. You’re gonna be sitting and laying in some weird positions and you’ll be bored out of your mind, so you’re gonna wanna have your phone. If you don’t have a long phone charger or can’t get one (or if you’re breaks 1 day post op like mine did) you can use an extension cordd or a power strip to make it longer
  9. Have other things to do. Maybe a book or a sketch pad or coloring or clay. Just something else to keep you busy for when you are tired of Netflix
  10. Trim your body hair. I suggest trimming your armpit hair a little, if not all the way, because the ace bandage will pull on it and it will be uncomfy. Also if you do anything with your hair elsewhere, do it pre op
  11. Also if you have pets that need their habitats cleaned, do that the day before surgery. I have fish, a turtle, a hermit crab, 3 geckos, a guinea pig, and a dog. I changed bedding and cleaned tanks for all of them except the dog admit was worth it. It would’ve been way too hard post op.
  12. If you take any medication be sure to call the hospital and check if you should stop it or keep taking it. I stopped T and my vitamin supplements and all oral steroids 2 weeks before and you’re not supposed to take nay medication the morning of, but the hospital told me I could because it’s psych medication and I’m better on it than off

What do I do the day of surgery?

  1. Go to the hospital!! Your surgeon (or someone from their office) eill give you directions to the hospital and a list of what you need. I needed my ID, my insurance card, pre-op paperwork, and all of my meds. I ended up needing none of those things, but I was told to bring them so I did and I suggest you do the same.
  2. Anxiety is 100% normal the morning of. I was very anxious and so was my dad and we ended up screaming at each other. My way of coping with the anxiety was to text my partner, and I also Facebook live streamed a couple time sin the car (it’s 2 hours from my house to the hospital)
  3. When you get to the hospital go with the flow. I was called on my way and told to get there asap bc there was a cancellation. I told them that wasn’t happening because of how far I live and I was already on my way but I would be there in time for my surgery slot. When I got there, I checked in and everything was okay. Until they mixed me up with two seperate patients and I got really anxious. But my surgeon came to meet me and calmed me down and it was okay. They let one of my parents stay with me until I went to the OR which was also nice
  4. The OR is scary. There are a ton of people and the table is cold and everything is moving fast and you just lay there. I actually somehow felt calm though? I think I hit the point of being anxious where I was in stress nirvana and nothing registered anymore. I just breathed deeply and said that whatever happened was gonna happen and then they told me to keep breathing the oxygen in and that they were giving me the medicine to make me sleep.
  5. Rely on whatever you believe in and whatever helps you. I had play doh with me and my favorite stuffed animal in the car and I kept it in my bag at the hospital. That helped me stay calm a lot. I also am spiritual in the sense that I believe that things happen the way they happen and that’s that, and we should go woth it and tackle it as it comes. If you are religious, praying or worshipping however you like can help in the money’s and days leading up to surgery too.

What’s it like waking up?

  1. It’s weird. It’s really fucking weird. I was very sleepy and confused. I don’t remember a lot of it. I remember asking for my partner (they couldn’t be there because they had class) and I remember being sleepy. Apparently I asked for Adrian so much that my mom called them and I talked to them. Apparently i said that they are wonderful and that I’m in love with them (which is true) and tbh my parents still make fun of me for it. I don’t remember doing that at all. I also remember needing to per and the nurse asked me if I could get up or if I wanted a bed pan and I said I was gonna get up. I did, and I was so stumbley and dizzy. I remember getting confused about toilet paper and it took me forever. I also got tangled in the wires and tubes from the IV. This happened 3 more times while I was in the recovery room
  2. I also had a very hard time breathing. I was coughing and my oxygen saturation was in the 60’s which I not good. They gave me albuterol and oxygen which helped a lot.

Night 1 in the hospital

  1. I spent 1 night in the hospital. I know some surgeons do more, some do less.
  2. It was an interesting night. I was on a lot of pain medication and I was starving. I ate a lot of banana bread my mom gave me.
  3. My dad stayed the night with me which was also nice.
  4. Instated on oxygen most of the night until I was breathing better on my own with the help of a spirometer every hour
  5. The hospital however was not good about giving me my meds. Hospital are notorious for fucking up when someone should get meds. I take a lot of medication, mostly for psych stuff, and I absolutly need all of it. The one in particular they weren’t giving me was my anxiety medication, which also stabilizes my blood pressure. So of course my BP is high and they are asking why and saying they can’t give me my meds because it’s not in the system.
  6. So long story short I didnt get my meds but it was fine because it was only one day
  7. In the morning, I got to go home. They gave me one last dose of pain meds and I was ready for the 2 hour car ride back to my house
  8. Before I left however, my surgeon saw me and I got to see my chest. I didn’t expect to see it so soon. The only other time I felt so at peace was when I was high. I also got my drains out that morning because I wasn’t draining much so my surgeon didn’t feel like they were needed

Being home

  1. It is hard. I slept for the first 3 days most of the day. I was on a lot of Percocet. I needed it. I literally just slept on the recliner all day. I woke up to pee and to eat and watch a little bit of parks and rec.
  2. Speaking of peeing. The anesthesia basically stops everything and peeing is hard after surgery. It’s like you can’t make yourself do it, you just have to let it happen
  3. Also pooping. This is TMI but for the love of fuck have stool softeners because pain meds and antibiotics fuck that up and the last thing you need is a tummy ache along with your chest hurting. I took stool softeners in the hospital and when I got home and it still took me 5 days to shit. I know that’s gross but really, love yourself and buy stool softeners.
  4. Okay last bathroom thing I promise. Wearing underwear that are kinda tight is not a good idea. The elastic is gonna be too hard to pull down and you’re gonna get tired and frustrated. I know how absurd that sounds but that’s really how it is. I just didn wear any for a couple days.
  5. Every single thing is difficult. I was so weak I could barely lift a mug. Everything was really hard. I needed a lot of help.
  6. Post op you will cough and need to take very deep breaths. Your lungs are paralyzed during surgery and it takes time for them to sort their shit out once you wake up. I coughed a lot and I coughed up blood and it was gross. I also was at a very high risk for pneumonia so I had to watch that
  7. As the days went on it got easier. I could do more things. I could cook more, I could get up and do things. 4 days post op my partner and my friends and an old teacher came over and saw me and hung out which was nice. Having support is really important and honestly those people made me so happy.
  8. Having someone to help you is so important and also having someone to give you positive vibes and love and support makes all the difference
  9. Emotionally you might be a mess. That’s okay. Go with it. Make sure to take time to self care and do things you enjoy. And don’t be afraid to ask for help
  10. You will get back to normal in time. Recover at your own pace.

What it looks like

  1. When you first see it, it’s gonna be blue and purple and green. All bruised. The stitches look angry and jagged. And it only looks worse as the days go by for the first week or so. That is normal. Your chest went through a lot and it’s gonna bruise and look swollen and gross.
  2. The bruising does fade and the stitches will fall off (if they are the kind that does that). It’s gonna be weird. Don’t pull them, don’t fuck with them. I know how tempting it is, but just don’t.
  3. The swelling lasts for about 3 weeks, then it looks pretty much how it’s gonna look. Remember it’s not gonna be completely flat, it has to match your body
  4. Also you’ll have to wear a surgical binder for at least a month post op

Showering

  1. Wash up. Washcloth and soap or wipes are your friends. You can’t shower head to toe unless you wrap your chest with plastic wrap, which is really hard. I do not reccomend it. Wash your hair in th sink if you want, but only if you have help. Moving your arms like that is gonna be hard.
  2. Once you can shower head to toe, it’s amazing. And your stitches will fall off faster. It’s just really nice. But be gentle because your chest is still tender.

Things I didn’t expect

  1. I’m psychotic so I normally have some hallucinations, but the pain medication made it so intense that I couldn’t function. I thought I was being watched constantly, I was screaming and crying and panicking. It was really scary and really bad. If you’re psychotic, please keep this in mind and share concerns with your doctor. I stopped my pain medication early because of this.
  2. If you have body related trauma, surgery might bring that back up. No one told me this and I was not prepared. I was raped and I have trouble not being in control of my body. I wasn’t even thinking of that until I was on the table seconds before I fell asleep. I would never know what happened during surgery (aside from the obvious) and that scared me and tbh it still does.
  3. I didnt expect how hard it would be to sleep. I slept on the recliner in my living room for almost 3 weeks. I sleep on my stomach and I just couldn’t because it hurt so much. Once I was a month post op I could though and thats what I do now
  4. Infection. I was expecting it to happen as soon as i went off antibiotics but it happened around 3 weeks post op. The nurse at the surgeons office told me i was crazy and she was really rude so I sorted it myself but it was unexpected at that point.
  5. Emotionally it really was hard. Some of that was my mental illness but some of it was post op mood swings and depression. I knew it was a possibility, but I didn’t expect it to be that bad.

Okay so that’s it I think. If there is anything I forgot or if you have questions feel free to ask!!

andromedasstars  asked:

hi your andriel 'I hate Neil Josten and his pretty face' headcanon is beautiful and pure and wholesome and has healed my soul and i was hoping you'd be open to expanding on Neil's 'revenge' calling out Andrew and being dorky in the process?

Hi! Sorry for the late reply! Thank you so much and, sure, here you go!

  • Andrew is waiting for it
  • he knows Josten’s too much of an actual child to let go of the video
    • no matter that he solved the coming-out problem
    • and made Renee and Reynolds a tonshit of money
    • fucker never knows when to back down, does he?
  • so really
  • he’s not that surprised when Nicky sends him a link to some live streaming website
  • there’s 10-reasons-to-hate-Andrew-Minyard-by-Neil-Josten in the page name so it’s not hard to guess what’s going to happen

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Submit To Me - Dylan O’Brien

Author: @mf-despair-queen

Characters: Dylan O’Brien/Reader

Word Count: 15,061

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Public Teasing, Public Masturbation, Teasing in the car and in the bedroom, pleading, seduction, striping Dylan because he’s sexy as fuck, dry humping, thigh riding, hand jobs, face riding, handcuffs, blindfolds, 69 (aka oral male and female receiving), overstimulation, praising, orgasm denial, female riding male (regular and reverse cowgirl), whiny Dylan, mentions of dominant Dylan, A lot of submissive Dylan, BREATHY MOANS

Notes: I will make this short as I am writing this pool side from hell. I’m so sorry this took forever. I have no excuses. But hopefully it was worth it. I honestly don’t know if this is my best writing for what you guys wanted from this. I promise the next thing I write won’t take as long. 

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BTS REACTION : another member complaining about how the two of you were “loud”


JUNGKOOK :

-”Jungkook ? Y/n ? We need to talk…” said Yoongi, approaching the two of you.

*Jungkook already guessed what Yoongi was going to say and started laughing*

-”Jungkook, this isn’t funny, I couldn’t sleep last night because of you two!” Yoongi added before turning around to face you “ The only thing I could hear were your moans, all night long… I’m not saying you guys shouldn’t have some fun, but keep it quiet next time !”

*Jungkook just kept laughing, clearly not giving a single fuck*


YOONGI :

Namjoon was complaining about how he didn’t get enough sleep. As soon as Yoongi heard that, I small smirk appeared on his lips.

-”Why didn’t you sleep ?” asked Jimin

-”I don’t know… You should ask Yoongi and Y/n…” replied Namjoon in a sarcastic tone.

As soon as he said that, Yoongi got up and raised his hand as a warning that he was going to hit Namjoon.


HOSEOK :

The boys were filming a behind the scenes of the Highlight Reels. Jimin was being filmed and explained that his eyes were puffy due to him having  a hard time falling asleep last night because of the “noise” Hoseok and you were making last night. Hoseok just nervously laughed.


NAMJOON :

The next morning, all of you were around the dining room table, eating breakfast.

-”Hyung ? What did you guys do last night?” Taehyung innocently asked to Namjoon and you.

-”Trust me Tae, you don’t want to know…” Jin answered

- “Were you hitting Y/n? She kept screaming your name… You shouldn’t hit women you know?” Taehyung added

*All of the members started laughing, except for Taehyung. You and Namjoon were embarrassed*


SEOKJIN :

You and Seokjin were just talking, alone. Jungkook walked by the two of you.

-”Hyung ! Be less rough to her next time ! I could hear you guys all night long !” Jungkook shouted before coming closer to the two of you “Honestly though, how do you guys have this much energy? You literally went for like 2 hours!”

*acts like nothing happened*


JIMIN :

You were just chilling with Jimin. The two of you receive a notification on your phones, at the same time : It was Hoseok, sending a message in the groupchat.

Hoseok : Was Y/n being murdered or was she just having fun with Jimin ?”

*Jimin looks at you*


TAEHYUNG :

You were all just chilling in the living room.

-”What did you guys do last night ?” asked Seokjin

Taehyung innocently replied

-”Then why was the bed making so much noise? Why were you two moaning? Taehyung, don’t lie to me, it literally felt like the two of you were fucking in my room” Seokjin boldly added

Taehyung shouted, shocked by the oldest member’s statement


gifs : [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]

I Think I’m In Love With You

Author: ceruleanbucky

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

WARNINGS: SMUT, cursing, oral (male and female receiving), UNPROTECTED SEX, fingering, sexual tension, fluff, and overall sin.

A/N: guy’s I’ve updated twice in like a week and a half what is happening?!?! I mean, it’s not necessarily bad. Also, this fic is hella long, and I;m not going to lie, I’m really proud of it. Hope you guys like it! Part two of “Seven Minutes In Heaven” is coming next week.


You wake up with a start, breathing heavily and covered in a thin sheen of sweat. You tried to recall what it was you were dreaming about, but to no avail. You eventually give up, thinking that it was another nightmare.

You glance at your alarm clock, wondering about the time. Seeing that you have two more hours to sleep, you gladly roll over and go back to sleep.

When your alarm goes off, you feel even more tired than you were earlier. You still manage to drag yourself out of bed, and start your day. It’s then when you smell the bacon, and the coffee. Perking up at the idea of a good breakfast, you put on some more decent pyjamas, and head to the kitchen. Most people are still asleep, seeing as the sun is only just rising, so you wonder who is in the kitchen. You step in, and find Bucky cooking up a storm.

“Sad, or mad?” You ask as you walk in, knowing it’s one of the two. He looks at you with confusion, so you rephrase.

“Are you cooking because you’re sad, or because you’re pissed off? Because I know you, Bucky, and it’s only one of those two.” You smirk at your friend, earning a smirk back.

“Neither actually.” He side-eyes, adding to your curiosity.

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Our Little Secret - Part Thirteen

Summary: Your and Dean’s fight hits you hard, you don’t know how to fix it, you don’t know how to talk it out and now you have to work a case that hits a little too close to home.

Series Masterlist

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Kink(s)/Square Filled: Touch Starvation for @spnkinkbingo

Word Count: 6500

Warnings:language, fighting, angst, smut, oral, feels

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. I’m really loving these character and this series. Thank you for your wonderful responses. I also love the debate that this made last night, it’s so special to see people invested enough in these characters that they pick sides. A special thank you to the people who looked this over for me @atc74 and @sylverminx

This is unbetaed, all mistakes are my own

***THE TAGLIST FOR THIS SERIES IS CLOSED**

The tears stream down your face, hot and messy, you don’t bother to brush them away. You don’t know where you were planning on going, your feet are stuck here in the dimly lit parking lot as your eyes search, brain on overdrive trying to think of something, anything to make this better.

A hand on your shoulder makes you fling around, scared, you hadn’t heard Sam walk up behind you, “Y/N?”

You don’t say anything, just wrap your arms around your friend and let him pull you against him as he tells you that everything is going to be alright.

His arms loosen and he pulls your face up, “Where are you going?”

“I-I don’t know,” you sob, the words tumbling out.

“Come on,” he wraps his arm around your shoulders, “nothing’s open now anyways.”

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BTS Reaction to: Waking up next to you for the first time

Author’s note: This is just very soft. Also gifs aren’t mine. x 

Seokjin: 

He couldn’t help the smile forming on his face as he saw you peacefully sleeping beside him. Yesterday you two had your weekly movie night which ended at midnight. Seokjin didn’t want you to walk through the dark so he offered to let you stay the night instead. He brushed some of your hair out of your face as his soft lips found yours. He initially wanted to give you a quick kiss but when he felt you tangling your hand in his hair and pulling him back in, he happily accepted. His lips moved perfectly against yours as you pulled him closer, making him laugh.

“Hm, I can get used to waking up like this.” You mumbled sleepily as he pulled you into his chest, chuckling at your words.

“You better get used to this princess, because it will happen more often.”

You two laughed at his words before getting out of bed and making breakfast. Seokjin was very happy that you said you could get used to this, because he could too.


Yoongi: 

He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes a he took in his surroundings. That’s weird. He wasn’t in his room. When he turned on lay on his side he saw you peacefully sleeping next to him. A soft smile formed on his face as he reached his hand out to gently caress your soft skin. He thought you looked like an angel sleeping next to him. Yoongi still couldn’t believe that you trusted him enough to let him near you when you were in your most vulnerable state, but he was so glad that you did. You leaned into his touch as a happily smile spread across your face.

“Morning baby.”

Your cheeks turned pink at the nickname, making Yoongi laugh. He pulled you against him as he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck. You giggled at the feeling of his hot breath tickling your neck.

“I love you Yoongi.” His heard fluttered at your words as he smiled against your neck.

“I love you too baby girl.”


Hoseok: 

This sunshine boy wouldn’t be able to control his excitement as he saw you snuggled up against him. He gently brushed his thump over your lips, trying to resist the urge to kiss you. Instead of kissing you on the lips, another idea came to mind. He smirked before pressing kisses all over your face, slowly waking you up.

“Hobi, what are you doing?” You mumbled as you slowly started to wake up. Snuggling closer to him in the process.

“I wanted to see your pretty smile baby.”

You smiled brightly at him before giving him a kiss on his lips. He did the same as he brushed his nose against yours, making you laugh again.

“Hobi, I can get used to this.” You told him.

A warm smile appeared on his face as he said, “Me too baby. Let’s cuddle some more, yeah?”


Namjoon: 

He’d get so soft. Like really soft. As soon as he saw that you were still asleep he’d wrap his arms around you and hold you even tighter. He tangled his legs with yours as he pressed kisses against your cheek, neck and shoulder.

“Morning Joonie.”

He blushed at the nickname as he held you tighter.

“Morning baby girl, did you sleep well?”

You turned around in his arms so you were facing him before pressing a kiss against his lips. He smiled against your lips as he gently traced patterns on your side. He really liked waking up next to you. Probably more than he’d like to admit. Little did he know that you felt the exact same way. You didn’t want to wake up without him anymore and neither did he. 


Jimin: 

You’d wake up before he did. You smiled at the sight of him peacefully sleeping beside you. He’d been so tired when he got home last night and asked you to stay the night so he’d still be able to cuddle with you. Your heard melted at his words and of course you stayed. You gently ran your fingers through his hair as you pressed a kiss against his lips. Not wanting to wake him up you turned around to get out, only to be pulled back by him. He turned you around, flashing you a tired smile as he pulled you close again.

“Why did you want to leave?”

“You looked so cute that I didn’t want to wake you up.”

He chuckled at your words as he moved so his head was resting on your chest. He moved his body so he was lying on top of you as you happily played with his hair. You couldn’t help but laugh at your boyfriend’s adorable behavior. He was just so damn cute. Especially in the morning. From that on you decided that you would stay the night more often, and Jimin couldn’t be happier with that.


Taehyung: 

He’d be the actual definition of clingy. He’d hold you the entire night. No matter how much you moved, he always had some part of him wrapped around you. So when you woke up it wasn’t a surprise that he was holding you, still. His face was pressed against your neck as soft breaths escaped his parted lips. His arms held you tightly as his legs were tangled with yours. Your heart warmed at the feeling of your boyfriend holding onto you so tightly, almost as if he was scared that you’d leave. Being in his arms was very comfortable, however, you really had to go to the restroom. So you gently took his arms and removed them from your waist. You untangled your legs from his and sat up. Once you made it to the edge of the bed you felt his arms wrapping around you again as he pressed his face against your back, making you laugh.

“Hm where are you going?” He asked in his deep morning voice, causing shivers to run down your spine.

“Tae, I’ve to go to the restroom.”

“No, just stay here.”

You rolled your eyes at his words before trying to get up again, only to be pulled back. “Tae, c'mon just let me go. I’ll be back soon and then we can cuddle as much as you want, okay?”

He pouted as he thought about your suggestion. He didn’t want you to leave but he did like the idea of cuddling as much as he wanted. So he gave in. Taehyung let you go to the restroom in peace, but as soon as you got near the bed he pulled you on it and wrapped himself around you again. You laughed at his cute behavior before pecking him on the lips, getting ready to spend the entire day cuddling in bed.


Jungkook: 

As soon as you woke up you felt a little uncomfortable. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Jungkook holding you, it was just that his grip on you was so damn tight. It’s not a secret that your boyfriend is very strong. What you didn’t know however, was that he was just as strong in his sleep. You sighed deeply as you tried to pull his arms away, but it was impossible. The only thing you could do was wake him up. Sighing deeply you used all your strength to turn around. Surprisingly you managed to do that, but as soon as you were face to face he pulled you even closer, making you whine. Jungkook brushed his nose against your cheek as he started laughing. Right then you realized he had been awake this entire time.

“You’re so mean Kookie.”

“Well good morning to you too baby.”

He pressed a kiss against your cheek as he loosened his grip on you, giving you a little more room to move around. You let out a happy sigh as you pulled him down for a kiss, smiling against his lips as his fingers tickled your side.

“Jungkook” You whined, making him laugh again.

“What? I just like seeing you smile.”

You blushed before snuggling up to him again. Jungkook smiled at the sight of you being so close to him and realized that he wanted to wake up like this every single day from now on, with you in his arms.

Halloween Candy (Steve Harrington x Reader)

Summary: Steve comes to your door on Halloween night looking completely distressed, and you have no idea what to do.

Word Count: 1690

Warnings: None, maybe OOC Steve again because I’m not too sure how to write a sad Steve 

Note: A note for all my future imagines, if the gender isn’t specified in the title it’s neutral! Also, I guess this more of like minor Steve/reader. Anywho Enjoy my second Steve imagine :) 

Originally posted by glowgurl

Halloween was probably one of your favorite times of the year, you loved the feeling, and seeing all the trick or treaters in their costumes. It was also the only night of the year you got to be home alone to just relax and hand out candy while your parents went out to an office party that usually lasted until about 2 am. You wondered how they had so much energy.

As the night went on, the trick or treaters were starting to thin out. But you knew very well that some kids stick around because some people handing out candy would get tired and just pour the rest of their candy into their candy bags.

You weren’t that kind of person. It wasn’t everyday you could get your hands on so much candy, and those children have enough anyway. So you kept it hidden behind the door as you gave the rest of the trick or treaters a candy or two so they wouldn’t see just how much your parents had left you with when they left for their party.

I mean, you had a party too,Tina had literally invited the entire school, but like the last year you didn’t attend it because you’d much rather stay home, even though your friend, Jonathan Byers, had told you that if you go, he will. You doubted he’d even go, so you didn’t even bother telling him you weren’t. You preferred to stay in then go to a party with pissed-drunk teenagers.

So, you laid on the couch, some horror film playing on the screen. It was late now, passed curfew late, so you decided to turn off the porch light, blow out the candles in the pumpkins, and call it a night for Halloween.

After you turned off all the lights, and took the bright orange bowl half full of candy, there was a sudden knock on the door. You paused in your step, thinking “did I just turn off the lights on a bunch of kids” You turned around, eying the small window on your door before there was another knock. You could see a shadow, a tall shadow, and you safely assumed it wasn’t a kid.

Taking precaution, you stayed still and silent, whoever it was would go away…you hoped. You watched the shadow try to look through the covered window, before knocking again, this time more than three knocks.

You hear someone curse, then knock again, this time harder. You jumped slightly, before frowning and setting down the bowl on the side table to answer the door and tell whoever it was to go away and that if it was a prank you were definitely going to call the oh so great cops of Hawkins.

“Look I don’t know what you want but trick or treating and pranks are-” you cut off your words as you realized who it was at your door this late at night. It was Steve Harrington. You knew Steve through mutual friends, which is basically you knew Jonathan, and Jonathan knew Nancy who was dating Steve.

You also knew that Steve was supposed to be at Tina’s Halloween Party.

“Oh-Steve…what are you doing here?” You asked, noticing that he looked a bit…well for a better word drunk and upset. You looked around him, seeing if you could find Nancy or Jonathan, but it was just his car parked in front of your house.

“I was just in the neighborhood,” was all he said before his eyes went straight over yours to take a look in your house, “…no I lied…I need someone to talk to, and you were the first person I thought of (y/n),”

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