i wanted to be free

okay, i don’t hate kids. i think they’re sort of funny. i like that you can talk to them like an adult and they’ll make sounds like they understand. i taught one kid “phosphorescence” and he looked at me and said, “they could just call it glowing if it means something that glows.” the kid undid the entire science community in one sentence.

but i hate kids.

or really, i hate how they’ve always been expected from me.

when i was five i was given “babies.” i hated the hardness of dolls, disposed of them for dramatic stories between stuffed animals. i knew how to wrap, feed, and care for a baby before i could spell my last name. when i was nine i was already “watching the kids”. i was only four years older than my cousins were. i wanted to go out and play. instead i was expected to have responsibility. by the time i was thirteen all of my friends had told me about how many children they were going to have in their twenties. 

my hips were “child-bearing” hips. my brother was a scientist, or a fireman, or a steamroller. i was going to make a good housewife, or mom, or nanny, or mom, or mom, or mom.

and when my body hurt, i was told it wasn’t really my body, not really, it belonged to my future children. i couldn’t cut or snip or tie anything; i was trapped by the potential energy that hung above me. a boulder, threatening. i couldn’t get tattoos, because what would i tell my children? i couldn’t kiss a girl, because what would i tell the children? i couldn’t be risky or wild or anything but a lady, because what about the children?

and when i said “i don’t want children” - not biologically, at least, not when cancer and depression and a whole other host of terrible things lives inside me - do you know what they said? “it’ll change, wait and see” “it’s not bad” “you’ll get used to it” “when you meet the right man” “you don’t want to be lonely”.

i don’t hate kids. i’m great with them. 

but then i’m told again that my life will be forfeit to them - something in me snaps angry. “wait until you have kids” “you should travel before you have children” “you’ll be more happy.” 

i hate kids! i’ve snarled. i don’t mean it at all. but god. please, leave me alone. i don’t want to be a biological mom. 

it’s like we’re born with a uterus and told “this is your whole life. your singular purpose. your job.” 

i want to be my own purpose. not here for the sake of passing genes on.

4
5

I envy people who are good at keeping Sans on model because personally, nah

Why I love Max Mayfield
  • When Max is introduced you think she’s gonna be a stereotypical tomboy, but she has way more depth
  • Like instead of being the stereotypical guy’s girl who says shit like, “I only hang out with guys cause girls are too much drama,” she walks right up to Eleven, so excited to introduce herself and become friends with this girl she’s heard so much about
  • And even though Mike’s feelings for Eleven are what’s keeping him from letting her into the party, she recognizes that’s not Eleven’s fault and she doesn’t hold it against her (she’s more emotionally mature at 13 than I am now, tbh)
  • She uses words like “presumptuous” and “derivative”
  • You’d think after everything she’s been through with her family, she’d be emotionally closed off, but she’s so vulnerable and honest with Lucas while they talk on top of the bus
  • She straight up stabs her abusive step-brother with a syringe to stop him from beating up Steve (LIKE SHE PROBABLY SAVED STEVE’S LIFE, NBD), not only badass but such a smart move
  • And then she takes her babysitter’s bat with nails and tells Billy that his abuse towards her and her friends ends now. what a brave bamf.
  • She wears pants to the snow ball because it’s what she feels comfortable in and doesn’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks (and she still looks super cute and feminine)
  • She’s played by Sadie Sink, a literal angel
  • In conclusion: Max is amazing and I love her

aLRIGHT AU TIME

Lance pokes fun of Shiro being a merman (not an actual merman unfortunately), and pidge and hunk, defending their father’s honour, dares lance to take some of Shiro’s classes (he teaches people how to become merppl n all that w allura). 

Lance takes the dare and finds out this guy from one of his classes, whom he has a one-sided rivalry with, goes for mermaid lessons as well and *insert oh no he’s hot moment here*

anyway there’s lots of pining and swimming and mermaids and keith being obsessed with the mythical merpeople n lance finding it endearing as hell

[edit:] I’m not planning to write this however I will be building upon this au If you wanna write this or whatever could you link it to me? I wanna see it :D

tbh whenever i see speculation in the kh fandom about whether or not vanitas is gonna be in kh3 and if so what side will he be on in the inevitable clash with xehanort and will he get a redemption arc or not all i think about is how i can’t imagine things with vanitas playing out any other way than

In a world where Symmetra has interactions
  • Zenyatta: You recite the mantra of illusory life and death, yet work for a corporation motivated by physical gain.
  • Symmetra: A mind unburdened is easier to enlighten, wouldn't you say? A cleaner, better world is the first step.
  • --
  • Symmetra: How can someone so hyperactive be quite possibly the most balanced one here?
  • Tracer: Dunno! I just like to let loose and enjoy life, I guess!
  • --
  • Sombra: You should get a life outside of your work.
  • Symmetra: You should live your life entirely outside of yours.
  • --
  • Zarya: Could you make a construct so heavy I could not lift it?
  • Symmetra: I would have to ascertain there is something you cannot lift, first.
  • --
  • Hanzo: I want to ask you: Is the path you walk in life one you know is right?
  • Symmetra: I can only believe it is right. Though even that...
  • --
  • Symmetra: How can you so gratuitously waste money blowing up your mech?
  • D.Va: Chill out, I got sponsor money for days!
  • --
  • D.Va: It's kinda weird chatting with somebody my BFF hates.
  • Symmetra: And his feelings should affect yours because?
  • --
  • Symmetra: ... I mean, a peg leg, really? I could make a prosthe--
  • Junkrat: Don't even think about touchin' me!
  • --
  • Doomfist: It is easy to understand. We cannot attain higher ground if we are complacent, and unchallenged.
  • Symmetra: It is easy to understand. We cannot attain higher ground if we are chaotic, and dead.
  • --
  • Mercy: I know you might not hear this much, but, I truly admire your ideals of a world to benefit all, Ms. Vaswani.
  • Symmetra: But it is your selfless desire to help others that is to be praised, Doctor Ziegler.
autistic trait point system
  • toe walking: +5 balance
  • flappy hands: +5 happiness, -2 stealth
  • jumping: +1 athleticism, -4 stealth
  • pacing: +7 athleticism
  • spinning: -60% from usual hp drain while dizzy
  • echolalia: +5 happy, +7 neurotypical patronization
  • sensory processing disorder: -30 total hp, +100 hp healed per 5 seconds in sensory heaven
  • need to chew: +30 jaw strength, +30 drool strength
  • the autistic artist: +50 self-expression, -200 self esteem
  • picky eater: -50 total hp, -80% hp healed from bad foods, +80% hp healed on favorite foods
  • special interests: -10 focus
  • sarcasm detection machine broke: -100 stealth, +10 neurotypical patronization
  • eye contact machine broke: -70 stealth, +100 eyebrow staring capacity
  • nonverbal: -200 stealth, +20 neurotypical patronization
  • stim toy collection: +50 happiness, -40% wallet
8

‘Joong-Ki and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day’

So I recently got my ultralight wheelchair and smart drive. And in the smart drive like, product video it shows this guy zipping through the grocery store with wheelchair and smart drive and so today I was like “I gotta try that!!!”.

So I was grocery shopping and testing this out, and it was working super well!! So I’m just zooming around the store doing my shopping with my wheelchair and grocery cart and wearing my little mermaid fishscale tights. Because they’re awesome and my favorite and when I sit in the enterprise which is the name of my wheelchair, the little seashells on my knee show up. And I’m going to point out at this point in the story that I have been approached by full grown adults asking me if they were tattoos, so yeah these tights make it look like I’ve got some scales going on.

And then there was this kid in a bright pink Minnie Mouse dress who was staring at me. And I mean SERIOUSLY STARING to the point where the kid was lagging way behind the accompanying adults. And so like, I look little Minnie Mouse straight in the eye, whisper “mermaids really can’t walk that well you know” and wink at the kid. This kid’s eyes get like SUPER HUGE and then suddenly the kid goes tearing around the corner presumably to find those accompanying adults and I’m still cracking up nearly an hour later. It totally made my day omg.

5

When you’re under investigation and unable to act officially but you don’t give a f.. about UN’s orders.
Idk, I just wanted to draw theses two together.