i wanted off this ride since i was nine years old

Dare | Jimin (M)


Fluff | Crack | Smut | Bff!Jimin | Policeman!Jimin

word count: 32.6k+

You and Jimin have been playing an ongoing game of dare since the fourth grade, the only thing off limits —much to his disappointment— was daring you to marry him.

A/N: i’m…. so.. ecstatic to be finished with this MONSTROSITY 


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Talks Machina Highlights - Liam’s Quest Part 2
  • This week’s Denise message: “If you were at Wondercon I was right beside you the whole time.”
  • No Talks Machina next week! Brian and Ashley will be on vacation. Marisha hints that there might be “a thing” in place of the show next week.
  • Advance heads-up on the new Vox Machina shirt! Info for buying will be on Thursday.
  • Little segment filmed at WonderCon where Brian quizzed CR cosplayers with a variety of trivia questions, including, of course, “What is Scanlan’s mother’s name?”
  • Travis abandoned the party four times in this episode. (everyone starts singing “True Colors”) The word “sausage” was uttered seven times, and the word “spaghetti” five times. 
  • Brian brings a picture of himself as a teenager to make everyone feel better about their own pictures that’ve been circulating since the episode. Travis: “Is that sharpie on your chin?”
  • Liam started planning this game before Stranger Things came out, so it was a bit more inspired by “It”.
  • A long time ago, Liam sent pictures of himself as a teenager to everyone in the text thread and they all responded by sending their own childhood/teen pictures back to him, but he couldn’t find that thread when he was setting up the oneshot. He had excellent one-line notes he sent to the artist for each of them.
  • Travis: “I might’ve tried to fight something, but I had no weapons. I had an inhaler.”
  • Liam: “I felt like I balanced it really well with a party of level ones and a demogorgon.”
  • The oldest kids in the game were the youngest IRL; it was just a switch.
  • Brian asks how intimidating it was to have Matt as a player. “Answer your question as though he weren’t sitting to my left in pajama pants.”
  • Kid!Liam was the dead body under the tree. The old man was also Liam. The idea was that Liam kept trying to be there with them through the dimensional shift, but there was already one Liam in that particular time, so squish.
  • One of the few places where there could’ve been a big divergence in the plot was if they’d managed to sneak up on old man Liam–he would’ve traveled with them.
  • Liam to Marisha: “Oldest or youngest, you’re still the toughest motherfucker in this group.”
  • Travis running away throughout the episode was true to life: he ran out of The Neverending Story, Jurassic Park, wouldn’t ride roller coasters, and didn’t see an R-rated movie until he was like 15. Marisha mentions that his reactions at Horror Nights are worth the price of admission.
  • Everyone got to pick their classes for the oneshot. Ashley picked rogue because it felt like what she would’ve been like IRL. Liam: “But you surprised us all and smeared yourself in blood and gore and screamed at the devil.” Everyone agrees that there may have been a multiclass there.
  • Unexpected things on Liam’s end: wasn’t expecting Ashley to be as metal as she was. Wasn’t expecting all the bowing to Satan. He wants to keep some of it ambiguous, but the group didn’t behave exactly the way he thought they would at the end. 
  • The crew was in on the last five seconds, but the lead-up defined what those last five seconds would mean. He’d thought about continuing the metaverse thing indefinitely, but with the way it wound up ending, he thought it was a pretty satisfying finale.
  • Marisha: “I’m an utter dumbass–” Ashley: “No, you’re not!” Long pause. Marisha, turning to Travis: “I’m an utter dumbass–” Travis: “Yes, you are.”
  • Ashley and her best friend put a full bottle of dish soap in the fountain outside the courthouse in Burbank. It bubbled up way more than they expected and was on the news. That was the tamest story she could tell from her teenage years.
  • Liam randomly selected which of them would die first in the demogorgon fight.
  • Brian asks Matt whether experiencing a TPK as a character made him less inclined to possibly cause a TPK with the main campaign. Matt, offscreen: “No.”
  • Marisha has a new tattoo on her wrist that’s the death saving throws indicator from the 5e character sheets.
  • Liam describing Marisha’s reaction to being squished: “It was like seven stages of grief… and then the bird over and over again.”
  • Liam got ideas from Neil Druckmann for specific lines to use to mess with Ashley.
  • It was a little over 20 minutes total of the speak-and-spell voice. Liam knew going in that Travis in particular would just lose it, which made it easier to slip in the more intense stuff. He’d had a lingering cough for a few weeks and was worried he wouldn’t be able to do the voice because he knew the scene wouldn’t quite have the same sort of tragicomic punch without it.
  • The crew was cued in on the phrase “Are you guys ready to play?” at the end.
  • Everyone agrees that they would’ve been good friends had they met as kids.
  • Liam on advice for new DMs who are nervous about trying something really off-the-wall. “If you’re scared of something, that’s what you should be moving towards.” Liam missed a window to say something to someone he lost last year, and so this game was his chance to come right out and say what he wanted to say most to these people.
  • Brian talks about Critical Role has always been about choosing your own family, and how that really shone through in the one-shot. “It was brilliant storytelling and execution… and executions.”

Talks Machine in the dark:

  • Liam first did the speak-and-spell voice when he was eight or nine years old. His son can do it, too. Travis tries to do it and goes a little Wookie instead.
  • As a ranger, Travis would have an otter companion because he loves otters so much. Everyone immediately reenacts the cute otter videos they’ve seen.
  • A Youtube ad for cheese dippers starts playing on the screen with the fireplace. Chaos ensues.
  • Marisha has a lot of dreams of the cast getting caught in a tsunami or a flood. Liam and Ashley have both dreamt of the cast just playing D&D.
  • At the next charity stream, Brian will let the cast decide what he should wear for an episode of Talks Machina.
  • Liam on Sam vs. Matt’s respective Vicious Mockeries: “Sam’s are more dopey zingers, and Matt’s… made me really feel bad.”
  • Everyone likes pineapple on pizza except for Marisha and Brian.
  • In terms of fighting classic horror-genre movie baddies, Ashley and Liam want to fight Xenomorphs, Travis wants to fight Freddy, Marisha wants to fight It.
I’ve Always Been Home (Part 2)

I Have Loved You Since One Shots:  I’ve Always Been Home (Part 2 of 2)

Masterlist

(Part 1)

Songs:

“Who are you?” You asked, so quietly, it came out as a whisper. You could feel the tears brimming in your eyes. You had never felt so deserted, so vulnerable, and so useless. “I know you’re not just a friend. You sleep here every night, and every time you look at me you look like I’ve hurt you.”

The tears were now brimming in his eyes. He could see and feel the pain this had brought you. He knew how much you hated feeling defenseless and for so long he let you feel that way. He hadn’t even begun to surface the cause of the accident.

“I’m your fiancé.”

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FIC-REC

Hey y’all, so I’ve been trying to keep this a secret, as it was my guilty pleasure, but now I just want to share with you all the amazing fanfictions I’ve read since my stay in this fandom. Just some warning bc, yea. They are M/M aka male/male fics so yea, you understand. There are boys together. Who kiss and sometimes more cough. Accept that. Also none of these fics are mine, the authors will be linked along with the stories themselves!

SO HERE’S THE WILD RIDE GUYS. Give them a try. These will be my ALL TIME favourite fics so. Quality. ((this is future Lucy hola, i’ve just realised that 7/10 fics are Taekook, soz, even though I’m low-key yoonmin biased it’s really hard to find good of them so yea.))
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10. sountracks by maxx

  Words: 38,877
  Chapters: 1/1
  Pairing: Yoonmin l Yoongi-Jimin hOLY SHIT YES
  Summary: What Yoongi doesn’t say is this: “If only you knew, Park Jimin. Every song I write, and all the words I have to give, will always be yours.”(Or, Yoongi is a famous underground rapper from simple beginnings and Jimin is his hip-hop hating, exceedingly rich boyfriend). *it says smut but i cant remember so just putting it out there that it might have SMUT*

9. because fries and mixtapes by hoars
  Words: 6,644
  Chapters: 1/1
  Pairing: Taegi l Taehyung-Yoongi
  Summary:  Yoongi works the graveyard shift at a fast food restaurant while trying to make it big. Taehyung has insomnia. 

8.  the moon and the stars (are nothing without you) by wowoashley
  Words: 19,179
  Chapters: 1/1
  Pairing: Taekook l Taehyung-Jungkook
  Summary: based off the prompt: “Taekook college AU! The college tour guide raved about the uni’s friendly atmosphere and amicable student body, but wanted a high five from a cute student and all he got was a glare”

7.  it’s you and me (i know it’s my destiny) by florations
  Words: 10,334
  Chapters: 1/1
  Pairing: Taekook l Taehyung-Jungkook
  Summary: Recipe to The Perfect Halloween:
1. Pokémon costumes;
2. Lots of candy;
3. The perfect friendAll of which seven-year-old Jeon Jungkook finds in nine-year-old Kim Taehyung.(Then they grow up, and it’s not quite the same anymore.) adorable fricking hell

6.  pick me up, buttercup by vppa
  Words: 9,272
  Chapters: 2/2
  Pairing: Taekook l Taehyung-Jungkook
  Summary: AU where your soulmate’s first words to you will be tattooed on your wrist when you meet.Which freakin sucks, because Jungkook’s forearm will now forever read “Hey baby, if you were a booger, I’d pick you first.“What the fuck, universe. FRICKING SOULMATE! AU YES

5.  maybe we’re all just fools by airplanewishes
  Words: 52,675
  Chapters: 1/1
  Pairing: Taekook l Taehyung-Jungkook
  Summary:  Jeongguk likes to run. He’s never wanted anyone to run with him before. im pretty sure it took me like half a day to finish this but fucking hell it’s good. really good

4.  Cocoa Puffs by madigraye
  Words: 39,705
  Chapters: 4/4
  Pairing: Yoonmin l Yoongi-Jimin finally my bubs
  Summary:  Somewhere between fake basketball matches and even faker marriages, Park Jimin learns that camp is for fun, and summer is for butterflies.

3.  all the right wrongs by aeterisks
  Words: 34,132
  Chapters: 2/2
  Pairing: Taekook l Taehyung-Jungkook
  Summary:  Jeongguk’s fate seems to have a name, and that name happens to be Kim Taehyung. I’m begging you get tissues before this. I forgot to notice that it’s angst so here’s the warning y’all. *IT’S FUCKING ANGST ALSO BEAUTIFUL, 100/100*

2.  Don’t Let Your Love Go To Waste by krscnl
  Words: 41,032
  Chapters: 2/2
  Pairing: Taekook l Taehyung-Jungkook
  Summary: Taehyung and Jungkook meet on Omegle.


1.   King of the Library, Knight of His Trade by madigraye
  Words: 47,430
  Chapters:1/1
  Pairing: Taekook l Taehyung-Jungkook
  Summary: Moral of the story? Don’t fuck with Jeon Jungkook or else you’ll end up ruining your perfect attendance to chase his coattails. this is utterly perfect oh my god

+  Figuring It Out as We Go by peppermint_wind
 Words: 4,245
 Chapters: 1/1
 Pairing: Jikook l Jimin-Jungkook
 Summary: **Based off of Jungkook covering Troye Sivan’s, “Fools.” - “Jimin’s breathing begins to even, and Jungkook watches his chest rise and fall, steady and slow, like how waves wash up on Busan beaches.”

(y/n)’s Song (Alexander Hamilton x Reader)

Summary: A song fic based on Taylor Swift’s “Mary’s Song (Oh My My My)” watch you relationship grow starting from the time you first met.

Time Period: Modern

Warnings: None really. There is one part that has arguing in it, but it’s not terrible.

Words: 3,400

A/N: Hello! So it’s been so long since I’ve posted, but I’m glad to be posting this story for the first day of my 1k celebration. Anyway, as mentioned, this is inspired by a Taylor Swift Song, so I don’t own any of the lyrics. I hope you enjoy this and have a fabulous day!

Bolded/Italics: Song Lyrics

Italics: Memories

She said, I was seven and you were nine. I looked at you like the stars that shined in the sky, the pretty lights.

You stood behind your parents, trying to make yourself invisible, as your parents spoke to their good friend Rachel Hamilton. A young boy, two years older than you, stood beside and he looked quite bored.

“Mom, can’t I go back inside?” he complained.

“Oh, Alex, why don’t you take (y/n) to the backyard. The two of you can play while the adults talk.” she suggested, giving Alex a push towards you as your parents pushed you to Alex.

Alex grabbed your hand and dragged you to the backyard where a life-long friendship formed. He looked at you and sized you up and hoped you didn’t mind running around and getting dirty. You didn’t.

“I just want you to know that if you try to make me do anything girly, I’ll beat you up.” Alex threatened, as he tried act menacing.

“No you won’t.” you stated, looking into his eyes.

He started at you in shock. “Oh yeah? What makes you think that?”

“You don’t seem mean or icky like the boys at school.” you admitted, smiling slightly.

And our daddies used to joke about the two of us growing up and falling in love, and our mamas smiled and rolled their eyes and said oh my my my.

While you and Alex ran around, playing hide and seek, your parents watched fondly from afar. It was silent until your father spoke up.

“You know, I think I see the beginning of a relationship. I’ll bet you that those two grow up and get married.” you father promised, a fingered pointed at your mother and Alexander’s.

The two women just rolled their eyes and laughed, but they thought about the possibility. It would be a could match. Right?

Take me back when our world was one block wide. I dared you kissed me and ran when you tried.

As that week progressed, you and Alex spent every free minute together. It wasn’t uncommon if you ended up staying for dinner at his house or vice-versa.

One day, the two of you sat inside and were talking about school. Since Alex was in fourth grade, and you were only in second grade, you loved to here the stories of what went on in his classroom. Today, he was telling you had this girl Jasmine kissed a boy named Anthony.

“And then-”

“Alex.” you interrupted and looked straight into his eyes. “Kiss me.” you dared and wondered if he would actually do so.

He sat down for a moment and you thought he wasn’t going to accept the dare. However, you were caught off guard when Alex stepped closer to you, lips puckered. You squealed and ran away from him.

“No, Alex, don’t. Please.” you laughed, while running outside, trying to escape the boy trying to kiss you.

Oh if you could have only stayed in that time when your entire world was a block wide.

Well, I was sixteen when suddenly I wasn’t that little girl you used to see.

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Panic Cord (Bucky Barnes x Reader) Part 2!

Originally posted by whattheendoftheworldlookedlike


A/N: YALL IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK TEN YEars!!! But finally, part 2 is here! I love, love, love the Coney Island Wonder Wheel! If you’ve ridden it, I’m so jealous of you haha! :D I hope y’all like it! ENJOY! - Delilah ❤️

EDIT: I also accidentally posted this on the wrong account lol. Sorry about that!

Warnings: Panic attacks. A lil bit of angst. Fluff? (:


“No way,” you gasped, placing a hand on your heart. “You know Tony Stark?

Bucky let out a small laugh. You really wished you could see his face. The arm that was wrapped around your shoulder tightened as you walked. Even Alfie stopped walking and peered up at Bucky questioningly.

“Tony’s well…he’s Tony. He grows on you after a while.” You nod, still trying to process that this mysterious man who you’ve only known for a week, not only knew Tony Stark -he lived with him in the Stark tower. You’ve never seen it, as you moved to New York long after it was built. But from what everyone says, it’s phenomenal.

“So are you like a cousin or brother of Tony?” you ask, fiddling with Alfie’s leash.

“God, no!” He chuckled. “At least I hope not.”

“Then why are you living with him? If you don’t mind me asking.”

You couldn’t see it, but you could sense the tenseness the question caused. You pulled your hair behind your ear, your cheeks reddening with embarrassment. You had zero intentions of offending him. What were you thinking asking such a personal question?

You turned to him and opened your mouth, prepared to apologize, but before you could get a word out, Bucky cut you off.

“We’re uh…sort of working together.”

Your eyes widened. So…he was an Avenger? You tried to contain your excitement, but you didn’t need eyes to tell you were failing miserably. Somehow you managed to catch a date with an Avenger, despite being blind as a bat.

Being the little chatterbox you were, you found out quite a bit about Bucky Barnes. He was twenty nine years old, quite a few years older than you. His favorite color was royal blue and his favorite food was pepperoni pizza with pineapples. He absolutely adored dogs, much to your delight. Somehow Alfie, who tended to be completely wary of strangers, had warmed up to Bucky in only a few short hours since they’ve met.

However, there were some things that you found out that weren’t from verbal interactions. You pretty much survived on your sense of touch, and you were a master at finding out the hidden facts about him. You discovered that Bucky was at least six feet tall, the way he held you close to him gave it away perfectly. You were able to rest your head on his shoulder perfectly.

Another thing you found out was that Bucky was on the muscular side. Like, really muscular.

When he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind and you leant into him, you could instantly feel the hardness that was his stomach. The guy was built like a brick house, but you were nowhere near complaining! You couldn’t wait to run your hands along it.

The thing you liked the most was his hair.

When he bent down to tie your shoes for you, which was the sweetest thing on this earth, you couldn’t help but run your hand along his hair, taking in each and every strand into your fingers. It was a bit longer than you expected, but that only made him more attractive. You quite liked guys with longer hair, it gave you more to touch, more to see without your eyes.

You concluded in your brain that James Buchanan Barnes was really freaking attractive, and there was absolutely nothing that could change your mind.

xxxxxxxx

The carnival he was taking you to was located on Coney Island.

You’ve been there before, but of course you couldn’t tell without hearing the ferris wheel. You always dreamed of how it looked. Was it as huge as everyone said it was? Did it really light up each night? You always wanted to ride it, but given your grandmother’s protective nature, you were never allowed to as a child. As you grew into an adult, the chances seemed more and more unlikely.

“What’s with the long face, doll.” Bucky whispered into your ear.

You bit your lip to stop the stupid grin that spread on your face. Jesus, you felt like you were in middle school again.

“It’s nothing, really.” you dismissed, feeling Alfie’s tail hitting your legs repeatedly.

“Y/N,” he pressed, placing his chin on your shoulder. “You haven’t stopped smiling the entire time until now. What’s bothering you?” Gosh, were you really that easy to read?

You could feel his hands along yours, playing with your smaller fingers. It was so distracting, jesus, but you couldn’t find it in you to tell him to stop. The fact that his lips were only inches away from yours only added onto your longing.

“I just…I’ve always wanted to ride the ferris wheel, but I can’t.” you admit.

Immediately, you feel one of his hands in yours, gently pulling you away from your spot. What on earth was he doing? You could hear Alfie’s paws hitting the pavement evenly, at least he wasn’t panicking.

“Where are we going, Bucky?” you ask, grabbing onto his shoulder with your other arm.

“To the ferris wheel, kid.” he laughs, continuing to walk with you as if it’s no big deal.

You planted your feet onto the ground, preventing him from taking you any further. You couldn’t go on there! What if you fell off? Grandma would be mortified if that happened. And Alfie, he’d be sent back to the shelter!

Slowly, you felt yourself growing lightheaded, your lungs felt as if they were being filled with lead. You didn’t know which way was up or down. Or even where you were anymore. But you could feel the ground beneath you now. Oh god, did you fall again?

“Y/N!” Bucky called exclaimed.

You felt tears pooling inside your eyes. You just wanted your grandma, she always knew what to do.

“Y/N?” You blinked at Bucky’s voice. It sounded less urgent than before, but you could still detect the fear from it. Bucky placed one of his hands on your cheek, lifting it up slightly.

You knew he was looking into your eyes. But it pained you even more that you couldn’t look into his. Yours weren’t anything, in fact, they weren’t pigmented at all. Everyone always said yours were just a milky grey that took in everything, but gave nothing. It wasn’t fair.

“I-I’m sorry…” You whispered.

“No, I’m sorry,” he said softly. You could feel a hand pull some stray hairs from your face and tuck them behind your ear. “I shouldn’t have pressured you.”

You gave him a small smile, holding out your hand for him to grab. You were expecting the normal, flesh hand that you’ve been holding throughout the day, but instead, you were met with….metal.

You’ve never pulled your hand away so fast in your life.

“W-what…what is…is that your hand?” you sputtered, backing away slowly. What was going on? You never felt anything metal throughout the entire time. Not even when you wrapped your arm around his. Were you hallucinating?

You could hear him inhale sharply.

You frowned, holding your hand out again. Whatever it was, you wanted to feel it again. Maybe it wasn’t metal, but something else!

But no matter how far you reached, you couldn’t feel him. In fact, you were practically crawling before you realized it. You could feel Alfie beside you, nuzzling his snout into your side. Where was Bucky?

“Bucky?” you called out, reaching your hand in front of you.

Silence.

“Bucky, where’d you go?” you called, standing to your feet. You held onto Alfie’s leash tightly in your hand. Oh no, did he leave?

You could feel the tears pooling in your eyes once again. Did he really just leave you? You knew you might’ve reacted poorly, but…you still needed to get home. You had no idea how to get back.

Wiping your tears with the sleeve of your sweater, you pulled Alfie along. It would take hours, but you had no choice.

You just hoped that Bucky was okay.

- FIN!

Tag list of super awesome people (tags are also open!)

@leahxespinosa @scarlettsoldier @ironicallyinspired@psychicwitchphilosopher @kaiyaisbae @ballerinafairyprincess@uninspiredjedi @mylovelyadventures @amrita31199 @buckyshattergirl@answer-the-sirens @rlsebastianbarnes @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x@kaitskennedyy

One-shot Fic: The Chase

PG-13 | Humor | Romance | Skank!Kurt | College AU

Based on the prompt: “I drive to school and you walk and I drive past you everyday and it’s below freezing and you’re still walking please just get in the damn car I’ll drive you” AU

Read on Ao3

Birthday gift for @notthetoothfairy! Yes, bish, I wrote you something smooshing together 3 things I knew you’d like - that prompt, college AU and skank Kurt. And i fucking studied your gorgeous blog for it! Love ya, bish. I’m sorry for the typos, but i couldn’t have my beta look at this one before posting ;)

I hope you like!!!!(I’d put a hugging gif or smtg but that would make the post fucking ginormous)


Kurt likes to think he keeps it classy. Despite the leather, and the ripped jeans, and the dyed hair, and the motorcycle – he keeps it classy. He doesn’t holler at people as he drives by, he disposes of his cigarettes butts properly; he makes sure his bike makes the normal and indispensible amount of sound when speeding up, and he just generally minds his own business. He may be… badass, but he’s kept his class. And, I mean, he’s a college freshman showing up to campus on a sweet ass ride. He doesn’t care what others think (hasn’t since he was a sophomore and discovered the wonders of steel tip boots and detachment), but if he did, he knows they’d think he looks equal parts intimidating and cool. Badass with class.

And that, right up there on the sidewalk walking towards campus, is a great ass he has class with.

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A Bad Day | Jeon Jungkook x Reader | Ficlet

request from impossiblekimpossible:

“Can you do a Jungkook react to when ur having a bad day? Thank you!!”

pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

genre: Fluff

wordcount: 4489

synopsis: It has been an absolutely shit day for you. When you return home from work, you and Jungkook start your encounter on the wrong foot, souring your day even further - however, he quickly remedies the tension between both of you through nostalgic means.

author’s note: I hope you don’t mind, I took it upon myself to create a ficlet instead of a react, since you requested for only one member! And I hope you don’t mind the career I’d assumed for the reader. Please enjoy! :)

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A Royal Surprise

Originally posted by themoontwin

“Congratulations, Adam,” she says softly,” you have a son.”

“A son,” Adam asks, walking on unsteady legs to peer down at the child. It looked so small in Belle’s arms, cheeks flushed a healthy pink and a tuft of dark brown hair matted to its head. His ears hadn’t tricked him, though, it was indeed a little boy his wife was holding. “I have a son.”

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Full transcript of Adam Lanza's 2011 radio appearance
  • BEGIN TRANSCRIPT:
  • (music fades out)
  • Host: Hello! We got the collapsible headphones here, but uh... we're back.
  • Co-Host: (inaudible) we got Greg on the phone.
  • Host: Oh! Greg. Okay. How's it going?
  • Lanza: Hi, good. Um, I'm a fan of your writing.
  • Host: Thank you.
  • Lanza: I'm sorry to bring up such an old news story, but I couldn't find anything that you said about the topic, and it seems relevant to your interests, so I thought I would bring up Travis the Chimp. Do you remember him?
  • Host: I don't.
  • Lanza: Well, um, he was a highly domesticated chimpanzee, who lived in a suburban home in Stamford, Connecticut.
  • Co-Host: Oh, yeah.
  • Host: Oh.
  • Lanza: And he was raised just like a human child, starting from the week he was born. By the time that he was fourteen years old, which would be somewhere around age twenty in human years, um...
  • Host: Uh-huh.
  • Lanza: ...he slept in a bed, he took his own baths, he dressed himself, he brushed his teeth with an electric toothbrush...
  • Host: (laughs) Really? When was this?
  • Lanza: Um... well.. (chuckles) this happened in early two-thousand-and-nine.
  • Co-host and Host: Oh!
  • Lanza: He ate his meals at a table, and he enjoyed human foods like ice cream, and used a remote control to watch television, and liked baseball games... and he even used a computer to look at pictures on the internet.
  • Host: Huh.
  • Lanza: And... (chuckles) it goes without saying that Travis was very overweight; he was two hundred pounds when he should have been around the low hundreds. And he was actually taking Xanax.
  • Co-Host: (laughing)
  • Host: Amazing.
  • Lanza: I couldn't find any information about why he was taking it, but it just seems to say a lot that he was given it at all. And, basically, I think Travis wasn't any different than a mentally handicapped human child.
  • Host: Hmm.
  • Lanza: But, anyway, one day in February 2009, he was acting very agitated, and at some point grabbed the car - his owner's - car keys, and went outside and started leaping from car to car, apparently wanting to go for a car ride. And he was acting very aggressively, so, his owner called her over to get her to help calm him down and get him to go back inside, and once she arrived, he immediately attacked her, and his owner tried to stop him, but couldn't, and she even resorted to stabbing him with a knife, but nothing worked.
  • And she said that after she stabbed him, he looked at her as if to say "Why'd you do that to me, Mom?" Because apparently that was what their relationship was like; no different than between a human mother and child.
  • So, after stabbing, she called the police, who arrived twelve minutes after the attack, at which point her friend was... pretty close to dead. And once the cruiser came up, Travis went over to it, tried to open the locked passenger door. He smashed off the side mirror, went over to the driver's door, opened it, and the cop shot him. He fled back into the house, where he went to his playroom and bled to death.
  • Host: Hmm.
  • Lanza: And... (chuckles) um, it might not seem very relevant, but I'm bringing it up because afterward, everyone was condemning his owner for, saying how irresponsible she was for raising a chimp like it was a child, and that she should have that something like this would happen, because chimps aren't supposed to be living in civilization, they're supposed to be living in the wild, among each other. But, their criticism stops there-
  • Host: Mmm-hmm.
  • Lanza: -and the implication is that there's no way that anything could have gone wrong in this life if he were living in this civilization as a human, rather than a chimp.
  • Host: Ah, indeed.
  • Lanza: Because, uh, he brings up questions about this whole process of child-raising.
  • Host: Yeah.
  • Lanza: Civilization isn't something which just happens to gently exist without us having to do anything, because every newborn child - human child - is born in a chimp-like state, and civilization is only sustained by conditioning them for years on end, so that they'll accept it for what it is, and since we've gone through this conditioning, we can observe a human family raising a human child - and I'm sure that even you have trouble intuitively seeing it as something unnatural - but when we see a chimp in that position, we immediately know that there's something profoundly wrong with the situation. And it's easy to say there's something wrong with it simply because it's a chimp, but what's the real difference between us and our closest relatives?
  • Travis wasn't an untamed monster at all. Um, he wasn't just feigning domestication, he was civilized. Um, he was able to integrate into society, he was a chimp actor when he was younger, and his owner drove him around the city frequently in association with her towing business, where he met many different people, and got alone with everyone. If Travis had been some nasty monster all his life, it would have been widely reported. But, to the contrary, it seems like everyone who knew him said how shocked they were that Travis had been so savage, because they knew him as a sweet child, and... there were two isolated incidents early in his life where he acted aggressively, but... summarizing them would take too long, so basically I'll just say that he didn't really any differently than a human child would, and the people who would use that as an indictment against having chimps live as humans do wouldn't apply the same thing to humans, so it's just kind of irrelevant.
  • Host: Uh-huh.
  • Lanza: Bu anyway, look what civilization did to him; it had the same exact effect on him as it has on humans. He was profoundly sick in every sense of the term, and he had to resort to these surrogate activities like watching baseball, and looking at pictures on a computer screen, and taking Xanax. He was a complete mess.
  • Host: Mmm-hmm.
  • Lanza: And his attack wasn't simply because he was a senselessly violent, impulsive chimp. Uhm, which was how his behavior was universally portrayed. Um, immediately before the attack, he had desperately been wanting his owner to drive him somewhere, and the best reason I can think of for why he would want that, looking at his entire life, would be that... some little things he experienced was the last straw, and he was overwhelmed at the life that he had, and he wanted to get out of it by changing his environment, and the best way that he knew how to deal with that was getting his owner to drive him somewhere else.
  • Host: Yeah.
  • Lanza: And when his owner's... owner's friend, arrived, he knew that she was trying to coax him back into his place of domestication, and he couldn't handle that, so he attacked her, and anyone else who approached them. And dismissing his attack as simply being the senseless violence and impulsiveness of a chimp, instead of a human, is wishful thinking at best.
  • Host: Mmm-hmm.
  • Lanza: His attack can be seen entirely parallel to the attacks and random acts of violence that you bring up on your show every week, committed by humans, which the mainstream also has no explanation for-and-
  • Host: No.
  • Lanza: -and, actual humans... I just- just don't think it would be such a stretch to say that he very well could have been a teenage mall shooter or something like that.
  • Host: Yeah. Yeah.
  • Lanza: And-
  • Host: Wow. Thank you, Greg.
  • Lanza: Yeah.
  • Host: That's quite a story. That's, uh, really apropos, isn't it? Travis the chimp.
  • Lanza: It's just that I'm a little surprised that I haven't heard you bring it up all because... (laughs) maybe I'm just seeing connections where there aren't any, but-
  • Host: Not at, I uh, think not. No, I just... I didn't catch that one. I didn't uh... maybe I was out of the country or something, I don't know, but I missed that it. Thanks very much, man.
  • Lanza: Thank you. Bye.
  • Host: Take care.
  • (Lanza hangs up)
Stripulation (Rafael Barba x Reader)

AN: This … wasn’t how I thought this blog would lose its Barba virginity. But life is funny that way. Anyway, I doubt Barba’s secret in “Know It All” will be anything like this but this was still my take on it. And God am I awful for it.

@ohbelieveyoume I sincerely hope you enjoy because my perfectionism is screaming right now *dies*


Everyone made at least one bad decision in their lifetime. This was something that Rafael Barba, as an attorney, knew as an absolute guarantee. Granted, the poor choices he usually dealt with on a regular basis were either truly heinous acts or ones that just made his job harder, all committed by other people against his warnings or better judgement. Neither of which impressed the attorney in the slightest: He prided himself on being a self-made man who stuck to his guns in the face of chaos, always keeping a leveled head to the point of blatant cockiness.

If not for the fact that you had been dating him (and could therefore assure that, yes, Carisi, hand on the Bible, Rafi is human), you would have perhaps fallen to the oft assumed notion that Rafael was relatively without a dramatically erroneous decision to his slate. This was not to say that he was perfect by any means: Putting cold and calculated logic a step or two ahead of emotion, calling off dates to work on cases, and being so stubborn as to not want to lose even a personal argument were not traits of his that you favored.

But considering that he always made sure to right those wrongs, made you feel like a member of Manhattan royalty when he could, he was practically an errorless outlier compared to a majority of men living in New York.

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Request: “An imagine where reader and Opie have a one night stand and the reader leaves Charming for 3 years and return with a baby that is Ope’s.”

SO MANY EMOTIONS!

———————–

You’d grown up around SAMCRO, considering your father was a first nine member. You grew up with Opie and Jax, all of you trying to juggle being kids of the first nine. All three of you were raised to live the SAMCRO life, never being shielded from anything. While Opie and Jax took their roles and ran with them, becoming prospects as soon as they were old enough, you chose a different path.

You decided to move off from Charming and be something other than a part of SAMCRO. It would always be a part of you, and you loved every member with your whole heart. You were always an adventurer though, and you wanted to experience something other than the life you had been accustomed to. Of course, SAMCRO wasn’t going to let you go off without one last family dinner at Gemma’s house.

           Pulling up to Gemma’s, you could see that everyone else was already there, starting your party without you. You laughed and shook your head as you got out of your car, heading inside after greeting the few members who stood outside. “My baby girl,” you heard Gemma say as she wrapped her arms around you. Gemma was not blessed with a daughter, so you were treated as her own from the time you were born.

           “Hey Gem,” you said, returning the hug before being led into the living room. “The guest of honor is here,” Chibs announced, pulling you into a hug and giving you a kiss on the cheek. Hoops and hollers were heard all around as you were passed around for hugs and kisses. It made you feel a mixture of feelings. These people had been all you knew since you were born, and you were about to leave them.

           The dinner was spent sharing stories about your dad and you, with everyone drinking and eating. After the party was dying down, you walked out to the back of Gemma’s house to get some air. “Fancy seein’ you here,” you said to Opie as you sat down next to him on the steps. You smirked at him while taking a drink of the beer you had in your hand. “When you leavin’?” he asked, looking up at you.

           You shrugged, “Sometime in the morning, no specific time really”

           He sighed before standing up, “Why are you even going, Y/N?”

Out of everyone, he had been the one who didn’t handle it the best, not understanding why you would leave the only family you knew.

You rolled your eyes, “There’s more out there than SAMCRO, Ope. This is my family, but I’m not meant to stay here and be someone’s old lady. I’m just not, I refuse.”

He went to walk away when you grabbed his hand, “No. You don’t get to leave like that. I am not leaving tomorrow with us like this, Ope. I can’t.” He stopped so you continued, “Take me for a ride.”

“Where do you wanna go?” he asked, leading you towards his bike.

You shrugged, “anywhere.”

——–

The reservation didn’t look any different than you had remembered. A lone tree casted shade over you and Opie as you sat together. There had always been attraction between the two of you, and if you were being honest, you’d probably miss him more than anyone.

           “I know you don’t want me to go,” you told him.

           “I don’t, but I guess I can’t stop you,” he said.

           “You can’t,” you agreed.

The two of you sat there like that for what seemed like forever. You couldn’t help but look at Opie and take it in, this being the last time you’d see him for a while. Maybe that’s why you grabbed his face and kissed him with every ounce of passion you had in your body, him returning the kiss immediately. “You sure about this?” he asked you, leaning over you as you laid back. You nodded and he leaned down to kiss you again.

———-

*3 years later*

“Mommy!” Y/K/N screamed from the backseat. You smiled and continued making faces at the toddler in the car seat behind you as you drove past the “Welcome to Charming Sign.” You had gotten the call last night that Bobby had died, and Gemma suggested you come be with your dad and the rest of the crew.

You had left Charming three years ago, and despite a few fleeting phone calls, you never came back to visit really, the reason being in the backseat at the moment. You tried to get a babysitter, but there was no luck, so here you were, headed to the place you grew up.

You felt sick at your stomach as you parked your car and moved to get your child from the backseat.  Walking into Gemma’s house, you smiled at the familiarity of it all but the nervousness was still there as you were solemnly greeted by the SAMCRO men in the living room.

“Hey baby,” Gemma said, eyeing the toddler in your arms before hugging you.

“I know I know I should’ve told you, but,” you paused, “it’s complicated.”

“Mhmm,” she said, “How old’s the kid?” She reached out to hold him/her.

“Three,” you stated only to gasp as Opie grabbed your arm, walking out the back door with you in tow.

“What are you doing?!” you yelled, jerking your arm away from him.

“That kid in there is three years old?” he asked, running his hands through his hair.

Tears filled your eyes, “Yes.”

“Is he mine, Y/N?” he asked.

You shook your head as a sob broke out, “He is. I’m so sorry Ope.”

He nodded his head, “Yeah, me too.” Silence ensued for a long time after that.

“God, please say something,” you begged, tears rolling down your face.

“What do you want me to say?” he asked.

“Say anything, damnit Opie,” you told him.

“You kept my fucking kid from me, Y/N. I told you I didn’t even want you to leave, and you did. Then, you’re gone for three years with MY kid,” he seethed.

“I wanted to get away from all of this, and then the baby came and shit got super complicated. You were eighteen Ope and a prospect for the MC. You couldn’t handle a kid,” you said in an attempt to explain yourself.

Shaking his head, he walked a few steps away from you, “You don’t get to make that decision. That’s my kid too.”

“I was wrong,” you admitted, “but my intentions were good, Ope. I swear.”

“I missed a shit ton of stuff,” he said.

“Well, you don’t have to miss anymore,” you told him.

Wrong Partner

Summary: A trip to Disneyland with Tyler’s family in which you unintentionally spend more time with his younger brother instead of him, striking him to become jealous.

Word Count: 2,084.

A/N: Big thank you to the sweet anon who requested this gem. Sorry for being on hiatus for almost a month on posting any new fics but hopefully I’ll be back on track for things. Hope you enjoy, and as always, feedback would be greatly appreciated my frens.

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Daddy Osterfield pt. 2

Because I got such an overwhelming response to part one and also for Audrey, because she asked and I know she’ll ace her test :P

Warnings: a minor panic attack (I don’t think I wrote it well but yeah)

Word count: 1676

Tagging: @misshollander1 @tomsleftbrow (ask to be tagged if you’d like)

Part 3 here

You got dressed in your favourite outfit, which consisted of ripped skinny jeans and a baggy shirt, scarf and jacket combo. You always received compliments when wearing this so you decided it was a good outfit to go with. Audrey argued until she got to wear her purple batgirl suit that Hannah had once again let her get, if not for the fact that she hadn’t actually seen batgirl in anything apart from the Lego movie you would have not approved of the outfit but Audrey knew you were going to the shops which meant she got to go on the jungle gym in the food court and show all the other kids just how cool she was. Shaking your head you just let her go with it, some fights just aren’t worth it with the kid.

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Puppy - James Van Riemsdyk

A/N: So there isn’t a request for this one, but I wrote it for @carey-pricemas. If you don’t follow her then you definitely should, she is an amazing writer. I hope you like it, Katie!

Word count: 1210

Warnings: none.

Master list

Originally posted by dallas41chicago88

“JAMES, JAMES, JAMES!” I yell from the other side of the hall. “Look at him.”

James comes to where I am and looks at the puppy I am point at. James and I have been dating for a little over two years now and we have decided to take another step in our relationship, getting a dog. We, well I, had done a lot of research to figure out the breed of the puppy, but when James told me that he would like to adopt a dog from a shelter I threw away all my notes and we went for it.

“I’m pretty sure that he is a she, baby.” James laughs, looking at the overexcited dog that didn’t stop barking and jumping all over her cage. “Her name is Bambi.” He says, reading the little card with the dog’s information.

“Wasn’t Bambi a boy?” I ask, confused. “I mean, I think Bambi was a boy. But Bambi is a better name for a girl than a boy.”

James looks at me and then back at the brown-eyed puppy. The card says that she is a nine-months-old mix of golden retriever and cocker spaniel. He reads that she was found at the side of the road in summer, probably abandoned by a family that couldn’t take care of her during their vacation.

“Do you like her?” He wonders, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me close to his body. “She seems pretty active but she will get big.”

I frown a little, thinking about it; size was a big concern for us, since we live in an apartment and we don’t want our dog to feel claustrophobic at home, but Bambi seems to be fine in the cage she is.

“I know… but I really like her.” I confess, getting my hand in between the bars of the cage and letting Bambi smell it.

The puppy seems please with the sniff, because she barks happily and licks my hand, making James and I laugh.

“I think that she has chosen you.” My boyfriend comments and I nod, giving him a look to mimic me.

James looks reluctant about it for a second, but he sticks his hand in the cage and Bambi steps away from me and goes to him, smelling his hand. It takes her a little bit longer that she had before, but she starts jumping up and down to get James to pet her.

“She has chosen us.” I correct James and he nods, scratching the spot behind here ears, making the dog bark happily. “Do you want to come with us, gorgeous?” I ask, squatting in front of her to look at her in the eye.

Bambi stops moving and looks at me back, turning her head like she is trying to understand me.

“Do you want to be our baby?” I ask again and the dog turns her head to the other side, making our hearts melt outta cuteness.

I am about to ask her again when she starts jumping around and barking, and I imagine her letting all the dogs know that she has found a home.

Filling out the paperwork is exhausting; we have to sign what it feels a thousand times, adoption papers, legal responsibility papers, vaccines papers… and after what it seems like forever we are done and we can take Bambi home with us.

A couple of the workers give us a couple tips about how to spend the next hours with her, but they assure us that Bambi was pretty well trained by their previous family and that we shouldn’t have any trouble getting her settled in our home.

“Let’s go, pretty thing.” James says, grabbing the leash the worker is handing to him and starting to walk.

Bambi is good at walking on a leash, we decide as soon as we step outside; she walks by our side and doesn’t pull on the leash once.

“I’ll sit on the back with her.” I say, opening the door and getting on the backseat, scooting over until I’m sitting on the opposite side of the car. “Bambi, come here!”

The dog seems reluctant at first, but after a few seconds of my patting the seat she jumps in and I can’t help it but to let out a happy yelp.

“Sit down, girl.” I tell her and she does, making James laugh while he shuts the door softly so he doesn’t scare her.

The car ride isn’t as smooth as walking to the vehicle, but we can agree that we didn’t expect everything to go perfect. Bambi gets scared a few times and starts barking, but I am quick to pet her and try to calm her down until James parks the car on our spot in the garage and we can get off the car.

“Ready to see your new home, pretty face?” James coos at the puppy and she licks his hand in return. 


I wake up at a big tongue sweeping across my cheek and I pull my hands up, trying to stop the happy puppy from cleaning my whole face. Bambi doesn’t seem amused by my rejection and she walks up to James, laying across his chest and repeating the same actions.

“Merry Christmas, Bambi.” He says, running his hand on her fur, making her wiggle her tail.

If someone had told me that James would spoil our dog so much I would have never agreed to get one in the first place… well, that might be too extreme but James is absolutely in love with his puppy and spoils her rotten, getting her a thousand toys, letting her sleep on the bed and feeding her his own food under the table.

It’s been a month since we got Bambi and neither her nor us could be any happier. She keeps me company while James is away, always lying with me on the couch to watch her daddy’s games.

“I’ll take her out.” James says, rolling to his side and wrapping his huge arm around my waist. “You do it all the time.”

I nod, my eyes still shut; it is Christmas and everything is ready for us to open up presents, but I want to sleep a little longer.

“Take her out and we will open the presents when you are back.” I say nuzzling into my pillow.

The bed feels cold after James has left, but Bambi stays at my feet until James is ready to go, trying to get our dog to wear a rain cape and failing miserably.

I don’t realize that I have fallen back asleep until James calls me after what it seems a minute after he had left.

“(y/n), baby, come on.” He says, shaking me gently. “Let’s open Christmas presents.”

I don’t want to get up but I let James pull me out of bed and guide me to the living room where our tree is set up. There are three piles under the heavily decorated three, one of them much bigger than the other two.

“If we spoil our dog this much I don’t know what we are going to do with our kids.” James says and I can’t help it but to laugh.

lunarry: a summary

probably not the lunarry fic i was planning but here we go, life ruining and all.

(luna is in italic, harry is in bold.)

  • luna hates yelling.
  • and swearing.
  • harry cusses all the time for no reason.
  • like when he walked through the door of their shared cottage in the middle of the woods shouting, “fuck!”
    • “harry please, you don’t have to use that kind of language.”
    • “i’m sorry, love. i had a really bad day.”
    • “it’s alright, i’m going out to the garden.”
    • “i’ll meet you out there.”
  • harry loved watching her tend to the garden outside.
  • it was relaxing for him. he said she looked like a fairy with her curly platinum blonde hair and yellow sundress, while the sun gave her pale skin an ethereal glow.
  • occasionally, he’d give her a little whistle when she bent down to check for weeds around the roots of her dirigible plum trees. 
  • luna tried to ignore his sexual comments, but inevitably giggled softly and turned around shake her head at him.
    • “do you need something?”
    • “i’m bored, give me something to do!”
    • “here, come water the blackberries.”
    • “yes!”
    • “you’re so childish.”
    • “says the woman who tricked me into a kiss using nargles.”
  • she smiled, thinking back to hogwarts.
  • before the battle, when their relationship was only a close friendship.
  • they understood each other. they’d both lost people.
  • harry talked about his parents, sirius, how he missed them.
  • they would sit by the lake as he showed her the few pictures he had of them. she said they were beautiful, like recently bloomed flowers.
    • “they look so happy, but you can tell something isn’t right.”
    • “hmm?”
    • “look in your father’s eyes. he’s sad. he knows what’s ahead. knows he has to fight. and they did. they fought for you, harry potter.”
    • “how do you do that?”
    • “do what?”
    • “read me, like we’ve known each other our whole lives.”
    • “it’s easier to read someone when you feel strongly for them.”
    • “you, feel strongly…for me?”
    • “i would say so. you’re kind, brave, care for others, although you can be a bit oblivious when it comes to feelings and you’re horrible with girls. but it’s charming, in a way. and you don’t make fun of me. you don’t call me loony. that’s why i wanted to be your friend in the first place.”
  • they started visiting hogsmeade together.
  • harry would sneak off from ron and hermione to meet luna near the back of the three broomsticks. 
  • sometimes they’d walk near the edge of the lake.
  • luna liked to watch the water ripple as she dipped her toes in the shallow area, where waves washed up onto dirty sand. harry watched her shoes, he promised he’d make sure the nargles wouldn’t take them. 
    • “protect my shoes.”
    • “from what?”
    • “the nargles.”
    • “alright.”
    • “harry, do you believe in nargles?”
    • “i…i don’t know.”
    • “then why did you agree?”
    • “because if there’s no proof they do exist, then there’s no proof they don’t.”
  • luna gently leaned forward, lightly pressing her lips to his.
    • “thank you. for giving me a chance.”
    • “i- you’re welcome.”
  • he watched her walk back towards the lake, water rushing around her feet. 
  • luna’s hair was pulled into a low ponytail and went down to her waist. she used the shorts she was wearing to her advantage and walked a few more steps into the water. the soft waves now went up to her ankles but she turned around to have a seat on one of the rocks by the shore.
  • harry picked up luna’s black flats and went to sit by her on the stones.
  • he placed the shoes behind them and looked up to face the sun.
  • it was warm. oddly warm for april in scotland.
  • this felt nice. him and luna. 
  • she was short, thin, highly intelligent, and completely herself. she wasn’t afraid to be someone the rest of the world wouldn’t accept. she was beautiful. with her eyes closed and body shifting to lay down on the flat boulder, half embedded in the ground. with her clever mind and odd radish earrings. 
  • before harry had time to look away she opened her eyes, smiling dreamily. he’d been caught. 
  • luna happily took his hand in hers, gently rubbing his knuckles.
  • he blushed and, with all the gryffindor courage he could muster, interlaced their fingers. 
  • but suddenly, he heard a familiar voice shout his name.
  • it was ron, they were looking for him.
  • harry swiftly jumped away from luna, as to appear like they were only chatting. he hopped off the rock and yelled for his friends, saying a rushed goodbye to silver-eyed blonde.
    • “i’m sorry, i-”
    • “i know. goodbye, harry potter.,”
  • luna was snapped back to reality when harry began to water her feet.
    • “honey, i’m not a blackberry.”
    • “you’re as sweet as one.”
  • harry plucked a daisy from her garden and placed it behind her ear. 
  • his past relationships, before getting together with luna five years after the war, hadn’t been like this. those women were giggling school girls. luna was a dreamer, a romantic, and the kindest person he’d ever met. she went vegan at nine because she was afraid the neighbor’s dogs wouldn’t like her anymore if she supported meat consumption. she started recycling from a young age because she thought the clouds of pollution in the sky were ugly. she got him to expand his boundaries by cycling to the farmer’s market and other places close by, instead of apparating. (apparently, it was bad for him to use magic for everything.) she taught him how to prepare nutritional meals, how to ride a bike, hence the cycling, but most importantly she taught him to let go.
  • he didn’t have to save the world to help others. 
  • he could do something as simple as help someone with their groceries or sign a petition for animal rights or maybe even forgive an old enemy.
    • “sweetheart?”
    • “i think you should talk to draco.”
    • “you what?”
    • “it’s been years since, then, and he’s with hermione now…so i think you should make an attempt at friendship?”
    • “…..”
    • “don’t you sigh at me. come on, we’ve got brunch plans in two hours at this lovely little diner in the city.”
    • “you…you already planned something; with him.”
    • “yes, because i knew you would never agree to it on your own. therefore, i did something that’s good for you.”
    • “i’m-”
    • “i’m so happy i have you in my life.”

[miyusawa] the wings of gold

The first time Eijun saw the words messily scribbled across the line of his hip he was nine. The letters were too small to read then, just a squiggle of black, but four years and a big magnifying glass later Eijun could finally decipher the writing.

on the wings of gold

And he loved it ever since. Wings sounded cool even to a kid, and the wings of gold? Double cool.

He was proud and excited, and he could hardly wait to meet his soulmate – the one to possess the mark of Eijun’s golden wings. Every new year when the classes were shuffled new faces replaced the old and Eijun’s expectations grew. He wanted to find his mate, that special someone who would remind him of their wings, someone who would stand out from the crowd, bright and unmatched, and Eijun’s.

And every year he was left to wallow in disappointment.

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Little Accidents // A Phan One-Shot

Genre: family fluff, domestic fluff, slight angst, parent!phan

Words: 1.9k

Relationship status: married

Warnings: broken bones, hospitals

Summary: Dan and Phil’s son breaks his arm while at the park.  

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Honesty (Bucky)

i titled this honesty because i honestly have no idea what i’ve just written. it might just be the strangest mish mash ever and probably should have been 2 diff fics instead of one

enjoy


Buckys hand cupped your ass, squeezing it every so often. You had to stifle your laughter each time.

“Please stop fondling her.” Wanda begged softly, her final attempt before you knew she’d leave the conversation you were having entirely. Bucky frowned at her in playfully innocent confusion, releasing your flesh for a moment before he scoffs loudly.

“I let her go for three seconds and this joker’s eyeing her like a piece of meat.” He snarls quietly, taking a step toward the crowd, only for you to capture him by the belt and pull him back.

“Walk away and someone’ll approach me.” You warn him and he grumbles softly, tugging you against him bodily and Wanda sighs in resignation. Without conscious thought, you melt against him, smiling up at him with heart eyes. When you look back, Wanda is gone.

“Every time.” Steve snipes incredulously and you frown at him, until you realise he’s talking about Bucky, who is watching the surrounding area like a hawk. Patting his chest gently, you slip from his grip and head into the crowd and toward the second balcony. It’s well in view of the party but nearly inaccessible for people without residence clearance. Something pushes at your mind and you relax enough to feel Wandas exasperating over a short of Bucky following after you like a puppy. You can’t help but beam at the sight of all the girls ogling him, and his gaze glued to you.

That’s not what I intended. Wanda whispers through your thoughts sourly and you snicker, sidling out the door and into the cool night air. Below, the city shouts and rumbles.

You sigh softly, your eyes switching from the bright lights to Bucky as he steps past you to lean back against the railing. His eyes trace you and you can’t help standing a little straighter, your chin lifting with a tilt that you can’t help. He says it’s your tell, for when you’re about to make the first move or flirt someones pants off. He’s right.

“What’re you thinking?” He asks softly, his voice a low rumble that barely manages to compete with the sounds of the city below and the music within.

“I’m thinking about…” You begin, ready to lie with some little strange titbit, before you shake your head and meet his eyes solidly. “How you’re wasting your youth.”

He startles at the words, frowning and tilting his head a little, as if gesturing you to go on.

“You’ve just exited cryo freeze. It’s been a year since you did so, and six months since you returned with Steve and the rest to the Avengers here. In the last six months, you met the three new recruits and brought your own, bringing the team up to large enough numbers to part into two full size crews.” You explain, frowning at the darkness above him so you won’t get distracted by whatever you read on his face. “That means we all get more breaks, and less chances at dying. What does an Avenger do with all this spare time? Clint kicks back with his family, since retirement doesn’t suit him he’s able to step in on say, every tenth high profile mission. And Natasha, she volunteers at those ten different youth shelters. Even Steve has taken up the cause of working with the Smithsonian to provide accurate renditions of his time as the Cap.”

You shiver a little, the cold getting to you.

“But you aren’t doing anything.”

“I’m doing you?” He chuckles and you can hear the smirk in his voice. Dirty old bastard.

“I know and I’m wondering if that’s the right thing for you.” You mumble and he goes silent. Hesitantly, you move your gaze to his face, hoping to gauge his reaction, but he’s icy, blank.

“Are you breaking us up?” He whispers, his voice utterly bland and monotone. You can’t help flinching at the words. Biting your lip, you shake your head a little, indecision in the movement and he see’s it. “Then what’re you saying?”

“Bucky, look.” You sigh, pointing across to the other balcony where three girls dance together, their grins wide and their laughter a melody floating just above the music. They’re entrancing.

“What about them?” He sighs tiredly, stepping away from the banister to stand by your side. You’re grateful for the movement as his body radiates heat.

“They’re alive, they’re normal. And I bet they’re amazing in bed.” You explain, still watching the girls. One of them meets your eyes across the distance, curiosity in her gaze as her eyes move between you and Bucky before she’s once again distracted by her friends- or perhaps lovers. “Don’t you ever consider the experiences you’re missing out on? Tinder, sexting, sex in public places? Hell, even grocery shopping with someone you’re in love with?”

“We haven’t been sexting?” He asks, his voice sounding funny and you can’t help the smirk that tips up your lips as you meet his eyes.

“No, darling, that wasn’t sexting.” You tease and he swallows hard, his eyes darkening. For a moment, you’re lost in his gaze, before you remember what you’re talking about and click your fingers in his face. “Focus. Don’t you want those things?”

“Do I want to spend time with a girl I don’t know, who doesn’t know me, and do banal things like sex in public places and grocery shopping?” He asks, his eyes meeting yours with a sharp tension and your shoulders slump.

“I just want… I don’t want you to miss anything. Especially if it means one day you’ll hate me for it, or regret this thing between us.” You sigh, and he sighs with you.

“Y/N.” He groans, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you gently against his chest. You feel the weight of his metal arm as it wraps around you, and you can’t help hugging him back, pressing your face into his shirt. “I ever tell you about the time I made Steve ride the Cyclone on Coney Island?”

“Nine. Million. Times.” You scoff, pulling your face from his chest to rest your chin against it and stare up at him. He smirks down at you, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I like you at this angle.” He flirts and you snort, earning a disgusted scowl.

“Get on with it old man, us delicate women folk prefer to be in bed before ten.” You prod and he rolls his eyes, his palm sliding down your arm until he catches your hand in his and interlaces your fingers.

“I could’ve killed him that day.” He says softly, his voice like a warm fire, and you barely notice the words as he rocks the two of you side to side. Completely out of time with the music, you can’t help but beam at him. “But I didn’t, luckily. It was one of the few memories I had left of that time after I fled Hydra. It’s one of my best memories, even if he was ill the entire time.”

“What’s the moral?”

“That I don’t regret putting my best friends life in danger, and I’d never regret the fun I had that day. Just like I’ll never regret any of the time spent between us. What I would regret would be letting you slip from my grasp because you’re a huge chicken.” He explains and you make a sharp noise of indignation, pursing your lips furiously.

“I’m no chicken.” You growl and he laughs, glancing away like the joke is all too much. Jerk. “Oh, whatever. You’re one to talk.”

“Oh, that’s a joke.” He scoffs, and you shrug, feigning at being cool. “Examples, doll. Give me examples.”

“You can’t even dance with a girl.” You say instantly, the words coming out sharp and excited when you’d meant them to be calm and utterly above it all. He laughs, raising his eyebrows and glancing pointedly at your interlaced hands. “No, you weak creature. I mean that.”

You point toward the three girls, who’ve slowed down, but are still moving together.

“You want to do that?” He asks curiously, the words without any sort of lust like you’d imagined they would hold.

“No, I want you to do that. Go join in, they’d let you.” You command and he stares at you. “I promise they’ll let you, if they ask you about me, just point over here. Go, do it.”

He hesitates, still holding on to you and his eyes dart to the girls almost nervously before he straightens his shoulders.

“If it means I’m not a chicken, and if it gets rid of this doubt, I’ll dance with them.” He says, the words like a declaration before he dives into battle and you stifle your giggle.


The three girls eye him with barely concealed disdain as he approaches them and you can’t help grinning. Girls are something special, really.

Bucky points to you, across the divide and they all glance over. Waving, you smirk at them and nod once. You watch him regain their attention, waving his hand at you a couple times more as he likely explains the situation. The guy has no game. Honestly.

Two of the three grab him, pulling him with an arm each into the centre of their triangle and you can’t help passing your gaze over those around them. Dozens of men, half likely having been ignored when they tried to speak with them, the other half likely too intimidated, eye him jealously. Bucky catches your gaze and shoots you an awkward smile, letting the girls guide him through the dance while his gaze stays locked on you. After a song, you can’t help rolling your eyes and grinning. It’s too painful to watch. Holding up a palm, to tell him not to move, you slip back through the doors and into the crowd.

“Hey.” An unrecognizable male voice says, but you pretend not to hear it. The music is loud enough that you could probably get away with it.

Emerging onto the giant balcony, you slip through the crowds to arrive behind the three girls. Buckys gaze scans the crowd before they lock on you and he slides from their grasp. You watch them pout after him, before they spot you and brighten.

“Hi!” They chirp and you grin, waving at them as Bucky descends on you, his arms capturing you in a tight hold.

“Please never make me do that again. Please rub yourself all over me, too, all I can smell is their sweat and perfume.” He groans in your ear, his palms running over the curves and lines of your body.

“You dork.” You laugh softly, sliding your hands across the smooth material of his shoulders.

“Who’s that guy?” He growls, suddenly going tense and you grumble at him.

“Seriously?” You groan, turning to see where he’s looking, and spotting a man half a foot behind you.

“Hey.” He says and you recognize the voice from earlier, but you’ve never met this man before.

“I wouldn’t.” You warn, meeting his eyes seriously. “He’s crazy.”

Bucky chuckles, nipping at your neck and you know he’s purposely taken his eyes off the man and touched you all at once. Damned posturing. Sure, he can back it up, but does it have to happen at all?

“Girl.” The guy says, more forcefully and you turn around fully, Bucky wrapping his metal arm around your waist. This guy is being weird. Weird like the Terminator.

“What?” You snap, glancing aside to see the three girls have moved closer and are watching the moment with a keen eye. Your eyes return to the man, his bearing lumbering to put it mildly.

“Watch your back with those ones.” He warns, eyeing the three girls critically before he backs back into the crowd and you glance at the girls before returning your eyes to where the man had stood.

“You wanna get out of here?” You wince, wrapping your fingers around Buckys metal wrist tightly and he squeezes you with it once before he’s guiding you through the crowd.


“What the hell!” You scream, gaping at the three girls from earlier in the night. Bucky jolts awake, his arm instantly thrown in front of you as he holds up a gun with the other. “Lights, FRIDAY.”

The lights fill the room, and they’re still there.

“That man was totally right.” You whisper, eyes glued to the three as they stand as still as wax statues.

“Yeah, I suppose so.” Bucky mumbles and you snatch your phone from the bedside table. One of the girls twitches at the movement, but is stilled by a minute gesture from the middle girl.

Unlocking the device, you quickly type out the ambiguously innocent looking warning message, the one that sets off the alarms as soon as it’s typed, and you can’t help relaxing as the call starts to echo through the floor.  As the alarm starts two of the girls leap forward, both of them diving for Bucky, whose guard is down as he shoves you away.

Furious, you can’t help sending a blast of pale purple energy at them, the shot hitting one of the girls directly in the chest and slamming her against the wall.

“You are being reclaimed.” The third girl whispers in your ear as her arm slides around your throat, capturing you in a choke hold.

Grunting, you buck wildly, before giving in and holding her flesh tight and blasting her arm with point blank burning energy. She screams like a banshee, but doesn’t let go, and you’re unsure how much longer you can stay conscious. As black edges your vision, the door slams open and Steve and Sam pour in, the blonde man helping his friend while Sam tackles the woman holding you. Her wrist is torn from the rest of her arm, half of her forearm and hand falling in to your lap and you can’t help but scream.

“Ew!” You shriek, leaping to your feet and tripping sideways as it flies off your lap. Even as you fall, you can’t help keeping your gaze locked on the limb and shrieking again. “Ew!”

“No!” Yowls the leader and you try not to vomit, tearing your eyes from the dismembered piece to Buckys stricken face. On the other side of the bed, Steve holds the other girl tight, the third lying dead against the wall with a charred indent in her chest. Bucky leaps across the bed, slamming against the leader and stilling her in Sams grip before he turns and launches himself toward you. You whimper as he slides to his knees, pulling you tight to his chest.

“Are you hurt?” He whispers frantically, but you shake your head, your gasping breaths slowing.

“What the hell happened?” Tony asks from the doorway and you glance toward him from the shelter of Buckys embrace, noting Natasha as she slips from his side and backhands the woman held in Steves grip.

“Woah.” Steve warns but she shoots him a deadly glare. Rapid fire Russian bursts from her lips and the girl cringes backwards into Steve, who uncomfortably holds her forward and away from him.

“This will not happen again.” Natasha hisses, her eyes completely passing over the leader and you see the previously cocky girl shrink. “I promise.”

Without another word, she stalks from the room, calling after Steve and Sam sharply, who jump, dragging their prisoners with them. Tony eyes the dead body against the wall with distaste before sighing.

“I’ll get someone to pack up your things tomorrow, we’ll set you up in a new bedroom tonight and have your personals delivered before lunch.” He mumbles, jerking his head toward the door and you stumble to your feet. Bucky holds you tight to himself, clinging to you while his eyes dart around every corner and into every shadow. Finally, Tony gestures the two of you into a room, issuing a short bark of commands to FRIDAY before excusing himself.

“She wanted to take me back.” You whisper hoarsely and Bucky sighs, holding you a little tighter. “She wanted to take me from all I have left.”


so weird, amirite????

i didn’t edit this and wrote it between 11.30pm and the current 1.40am sooo yeah