i wanted a new desktop background but i ended up taking more than one picture so here

Long Way Home

This is something I wrote at the end of high school when I was suppose to be studying but Calum is so much more interesting…. oops who can blame me? It’s rather long for my second personal post but it’s been sitting on my desktop for so long. Anyways here we go, all aboard the feels train! 

Prelude: You and your neighbour Calum have been friends ever since you were toddlers and you’ve grown up very comfortably alongside one another. However Calum’s newfound fame has caused some barriers in your relationship. 

Words: 2.5k 

Originally posted by hemmo-butt

It’s the middle of a long and stifling Australian summer. Your crappy fan clicks loudly next to you as you lay in bed. You’re wearing the bare minimal; an old pair of Calum’s soccer shorts he’d left from ages ago and a pale, discoloured singlet. You’ve been constantly covered in a light layer of sweat all holidays and you are absolutely sick of it all. Music plays faintly in the background… “Hitting every red light, kissing at the stop signs darling, Green Day’s on the radio…”

Calum’s recorded voice rings clear as a bell, resonating around your room and burying into your brain. You quickly wipe away the small tear that escaped your eye before hitting the ‘stop’ button forcefully. You take in a shaky breath before gazing around your room, every single aspect reminding you of the good old days. The crappy teddy bear Calum had proudly won you from an arcade machine, tickets from an All Time Low concert, a sticky note with the all-too-familiar handwriting spelling your name within a clumsily drawn heart with an arrow through it. The sun streams through your curtains, warming a small square on your bed where your dog is curled up fast asleep. His happy dream-snuffles fill your room and you smile softly. At least someone is enjoying their holidays. Usually you love summer break, going to the beach with friends or buying ice cream at the milk bar was your favourite thing in the world. But take away one person, one certain person out of that equation and the whole thing is ruined.

It’s the first summer holidays where Calum isn’t here. And it feels like an enormous hole in your heart, constantly aching and constantly seizing your attention. Of course you’re unbelievably proud of him and the boys. Everyday you hear news about their successes as they gradually take over the world. Every week, Calum sends you funny texts about what he and the guys are up to or which unbelievably famous person he had met and fangirled over. You use to Skype occasionally, but he became too busy and honestly seeing his exhausted face saddened you. You see his name every time you go on Facebook, you read about his antics every time you go on Twitter and you see his face every time you go on Tumblr. Every time you get one mere glimpse of him, you can’t help but feel desperately and deeply alone…

 You had been neighbours with Calum since you were both two years old, growing up alongside one another and sharing each other’s ups and downs. When Joy had greeted your mum into the neighbourhood, your friendship had begun instantly. Even though you had never met before, you two decided to hug it out right there in the driveway. Two little toddlers, arms wrapped around one another tightly. Your mum managed to capture the moment; the picture now sitting on your bedside table, almost like it is waiting until you two can hug again.

From that first encounter you were inseparable, not lasting more than 10 hours without interacting with each other in some way or form. You would have secret “dates” as Calum amusingly called them, at the bottom of your garden in your cubbyhouse. Sometimes at midday with vegemite sandwiches your mum made and sometimes at 2am where you would cuddle under a blanket and listen to music together. You had bathed together; gone to movies alone together, there was hardly anything you hadn’t done without each other. You remember one night when you two were sitting in this very room, rocking out to Green Day’s new album 21st Century Breakdown on repeat when you suddenly looked over at the clock and realised it was midnight. Calum breathed out a huge sigh, looking between you and his usual entry/exit (your bedroom window) before slumping his head down into your lap like a little tired puppy dog. You laughed under your breath whilst combing his hair affectionately, playing with his thick curls. He suddenly turned his face towards you and said groggily, “I want to sleep with you.” His eyes widened in horror as what exactly he had said dawned upon him and he quickly stammered “No, no wait NO! Not like that! I mean um… I just… I want to sleep beside you so I can wake up next to you!” You laughed loudly at his outburst, as he squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment, his adorable hamster cheeks blushing furiously. You sat him up, pushed all the junk off the top of your bed, turned off the light and briskly patted the spot next to you. He crawled over, slid under the covers and wrapped his arms gently around your waist, pulling you close. He leaned down to give you a light, friendly kiss on your temple before you both drifted off into one of the most peaceful sleeps you had ever had.

Apart from being the boy and girl versions of each other, music is what really kept you close; Calum introduced you to Sleeping with Sirens and you got him addicted to Blink, swapping songs and bands was your favourite activity together. Throughout primary school, you guys hardly made any other friends, you didn’t need any, you were just completely and utterly content in each other’s company. Whilst in high school and after Calum had joined the band, you were still as close as ever. The boys would sometimes get fed up with Calum hanging out with you so much, but Calum didn’t care as long as you were happy. Eventually, the boys started gaining popularity, their YouTube audience growing bigger and bigger. And even when they became so big that One Direction contacted them, Calum stayed by your side. You would love going down to the park to play soccer together, running and laughing for hours and returning home with grass stains on your knees. Eventually Calum starting growing rapidly, developing muscles. Suddenly you weren’t the same height anymore and booting the ball pass him into the goals became harder. He just kept growing and growing until eventually and much to your annoyance, he could use the top of your head as a comfortable armrest. You smile now, remembering the sly grin that would brighten his face every time as he gazed down at you from his place way up there. Whenever he did it, he would always say, “Thanks for the support!” his cheeky expression just asking for a reaction. You would smile sweetly before jabbing him in the ribs, him feigning pain and then it all quickly turning into a tickle fight. You laugh out loud when a particular memory returns to you, when once your tickle fight became so intense you accidentally elbowed him in the cheek, causing him to produce beads of blood and a split lip. You remembered being so horrified but he laughed and ended up comforting you, as you repeatedly told him you were sorry. That night had changed your relationship forever.

 It was only a couple of days before him and the boys were scheduled to head off on tour with One Direction and you were horrified at the thought of Calum having a huge bruise on his face for the start of it. You were determined to right your wrong. Calum had his arm around your shoulder after you insisted he rest some of his weight on you. You staggered down your home street before gently sitting him down on your front step. “Stay here Cal and don’t you dare move!” You warned. “I’m going to go get you some tissues.” He muttered something along the lines of “You’re overacting” but you ran hurriedly inside and grabbed the first aid kit.  You returned and settled down to the left of him, placing the first aid kit on your other side and rustled around to find some antiseptic wipes and bruise cream. Calum quietly hummed some obscure song beside you, watching you intently like a obedient puppy. As you worked, his big brown eyes gazed over you looking from your hands to your brow furrowed in concentration. He grinned at your growing frustrated expression but winced in pain because of the action. “Oh Cal, I’m so sorry. I was being so stupid and getting too into it.” You griped softly. He laughed huskily in response and took your hands, his absolutely swallowing yours up. “I’m okay honestly,” He said, his eyes drowning in sincerity. “You are such a worry wart and you keep forgetting that I’m not that little wimpy, stick-legged boy anymore,” He cooed softly. His face suddenly hardened. “I’m a man!” He growled with a fake deep voice. You threw your head back and laughed at his silliness, as he grinned happily. Suddenly the grip of his hands and tone in his voice softened. “I love the sound of your laughter. I think that’s what I’ll miss most about you when I’m gone…” Your throat suddenly felt thick and your eyes strained. You looked at each other for a long time, gripping at each other’s hands in desperation, as your eyes filled with tears. They betrayed you and suddenly spilled down your cheeks plopping audibly on the pavement. Calum detached one of his hands and using the bud of his thumb, brushed your cheek gently. And then slowly, so so slowly he leaned in and pressed light kisses to wipe away the tears. Previously, you had shared friendly kisses on the forehead, cheeks, hands, but this felt different. This felt new and you weren’t sure how to react. You closed your eyes and let out a shaky breath, your crying becoming more quiet. He continued pressing these butterfly kisses until you calmed down, resting your foreheads together. You stayed silent for a moment until finally Calum whispered. “I don’t know how to say this but… Over these past couple of weeks something has been different between us. I just… I just started noticing this… glow around you and when I make you laugh and you smile that big smile I just-” He paused. “God that sounds stupid. I mean, I think you’ve noticed that I’ve noticed that um” His nervous emotional rambling triggered something within you. He’s right. You have noticed something different; Calum’s gaze holding a little too long, his fingers brushing a little harder across your back. Just little things… but with bigger meanings. You quickly hushed him with a finger to his lips, an action you’ve done countless times in the past but this time you noticed. You noticed the plumpness of his lips, the beautiful fleshy colour and the incredible softness of them. You noticed the way his jaw perfectly curves and how his neck arches beautifully before joining his hard shoulder muscles. His hands still firmly gripping you sent warm tingles up your arm and all down your body. You finally found your way to his eyes, his beautiful chocolate brown eyes that you have always loved. You saw in there that he too had been doing a similar analysis and the same realisation dawned upon you both. The knowledge that you two wouldn’t be seeing each other for several months suddenly smacked you across the face. During the past few weeks, the horrible thought had been niggling in the back of your mind but you didn’t want it to ruin you and Calum’s time together. This feeling had been rolling along and building up inside of you, and only then did you realise what it was. 

You leant in painfully slow, as if your entire time together had been leading up to this moment. And then finally, finally your lips touched. Even though your body cried in bliss, you reminded yourself to be gentle, the slight metallic taste on your best friend’s lips reminding you. Calum seemed to have different thoughts. His arms quickly snaked their way around your back, pulling you over so you were practically in his lap. This newfound hunger in his lips, crushing yours made you realise. He loves you. He loves you with such a passion that it made you gasp softly against his mouth. Because you realised as well that you love him just as much…

You suddenly wake from your painfully realistic dream to the sound of your dog whining and scratching at your closed bedroom door. You must have dozed off in the heat. You quickly let him out before throwing yourself back down on your bed, whimpering into your pillow. After that night, you both decided that the best thing to do was to let it go. It was a horribly difficult decision to make but you knew it was for the best. You two would be terrible at a long distance relationship. You and Calum being such physical people; not being able to touch and hold each other would be unbearable. The boys’ left for the airport very early the next morning and you spent the day crying quietly in your room, hugging Cal’s bear…

All of a sudden you hear your dog barking insanely, his racket making its way through your open window. You hear you younger siblings squeal and yelp joyfully in the front yard. What the hell is going on? You hear the pitter-patter of your mum’s feet down the hall and your door suddenly swings open, her grin extending from ear to ear. “Guess who’s come home early!” She shouts before quickly whipping around and running to the front door. You freeze, unsure if you’re still dreaming. You swallow thickly, trying to hold back your tears. You eagerly make your way towards your front door. You throw the door open and peer fervently outside. You hear Joy’s booming laugh, carrying itself above everyone else’s noise. Mali claps her hands in utter delight and your dog skips and dances around in excitement. Everyone suddenly realises you’re there and whip their heads around to smile warmly at you. You hesitate at first then somehow manage to call out, “Where is he?” The mothers smile knowingly at each other before your own mum says, “He went round the back…” You realise instantly. You pelt back into the house and practically sprint to your room. And there, climbing through your window and flopping on your bed is Calum. You freeze in the doorway, too shocked to move. Something is different… You notice that unbelievably he has grown even taller, his chest and shoulders have filled out and his jawline is much sharper. He looks as exhausted as ever and his hair is a mess, tour life obviously taking its toll. But there’s one thing that remains the same… his smile. His cheeks bulging but his jawline still managing to keep its edge. The way his eyes crinkle in the corners and his eyes shining with happy tears. That smile was a smile you knew all too well. It was a smile he saved for you. 

Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it and it warmed your heart and made you feel all fuzzy. If you liked it and want more PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I’m desperate for human interaction hahah. Also I’d love any feedback or suggestions :) 

Thanks, me lovelies <3