i want your sperm


☾ pt1 | (1/?)

pairing: jimin x reader

genre: fluff, slight angst, eventual smut + expecting parents au

word Count: 4,724

request: sperm donor ex-boyfriend jimin 

↠ description: Okay, maybe in hindsight asking your ex-boyfriend, who you never really got over, to be your sperm-donor wasn’t the brightest of ideas.


“I want to have your baby,” is a particular string of words that is only considered acceptable in a certain number of situations.

Maybe between two lovers getting lost in the moment of their heightened feelings, and somehow the words just slip — that’s probably the most common occurrence of the phrase. Or maybe it’s a night out, alcohol in your system, and the words just sort of spill past your lips to the most ridiculously attractive stranger you’ve ever seen before you can even think to stop them. Even that, can still be considered at least borderline passable usage of the phrase. Hell, even the instance of a teenage girl proclaiming her love for her favorite celebrity with the heavy proclamation is still considered normal for the most part.

These, along with a few far-fetched others, were the only situations you could think of that allowed for the usage of those six words to be passable, yet, here you were, uttering that exact phrase, when you were in absolutely none of them. You weren’t getting caught up in the moment with lust-glazed eyes, you weren’t drunk and spewing nonsense at a bar to some guy, and you most certainly weren’t some star struck teenage girl staring up at her celebrity crush’s poster.

No, you were none of those things.

Instead, you were sitting across from your ex-boyfriend telling him that you wanted to have his baby… Yeah, totally passable usage of the phrase, right?

Keep reading

Be Used (Jason Mccann) (Mature)

The slamming door was an usual, afternoon sound that came around whenever Jason Mccann felt angry, annoyed, aggravated or all of the above combined in one.  

The days were getting too stressful; especially with cops sniffing around, making it extremely hard to work for him and the boys. All the unfinished deals, unwanted people being killed, drugs and guns multiplied - this got to the stage, where it was simply too much to carry on an individual’s shoulders.

Y/N knew. She knew very well how emotionally drained her boyfriend was. All the signs of indisposition, both physically and mentally. He looked tired, exhausted. The bags under his eyes, messy hair, obsessed look as he constantly checked up on any news that the gang could bring in. Still, mostly it was the lack of interest he gave her.

Now, it wasn’t about what she wanted, what she needed, even though she was missing himself more than any words could ever describe. Not mentioning sex, what she craved the most was her boyfriend by her side, laughing, talking. The cuddles, the little ‘I love you’s & more. She ached for feeling him being a different Jason, a Jason that was carefree only with her.

Nevertheless, the sex part was what worried her the most. It was normal by now that Mccann was using her body as a getaway whenever he felt like he needs to. And for Y/N it was not a big deal, mainly because she was too disturbed by the fact that the love of her life could just go out and kill someone as an income of outrageous rage.

The shadow of his body has become now visible, as Jason took himself straight to kitchen, not even once looking around. His girlfriend, of good amount of time now, bit on her bottom lip, only imagining the frightening thoughts that were going through his head. The idea of all the demons he was forced to hold back inside made her really upset. And this was everytime she would see him in such condition. Once again, Y/N mentally cursed herself for overthinking the situation and finding her as a victim of it as well.

A deep, shaky sigh has left the plumpy lips of hers. She stood up, fixing her hair and clothes, just like she would be going to some formal meeting that was suppose to bring a crucial earnings. Her toes made their way to the kitchen as silently as it was physically possible, just in case. A muscular, male posture was turned back to her, focused on something below so badly that no recognition was given to an individual that just appeared.

“Jase? Can we talk?” Y/N asked silently, slightly afraid of the reaction she might receive.

This was a reminder of the days when the two were strangers to each other, when Y/N would be too embarrassed to even look at Jason, which only made him smirk and pay attention to the girl who he never thought would play a role in his future life.  

Good couple of seconds has passed, since the silence was broken down by little, non-understandable whimpers.

“Yeah, what is it?” He answered, looking back at her. There was no specific emotion hidden behind the look he was emitting, just like the two ball-shaped things inside of him lost the purpose utterly.

“Um, I-” She started, looking puzzled, just like her mind. Jason raised his eyebrows in confusion, looking at the body of his girlfriend carelessly. This never happened. Usually, he was being so nice, he was always being nice to her, unless they had a misunderstanding. But, even then. So bloody nice.
“I know how you feel. I cannot actually relate, but I understand completely. I know you hate talking about the emotions, that’s exactly why you are having cocaine on our counter, I’m not mad, like I said - I get it.” The sentence finally left her mouth, as Jason slid to the right, covering the illegal image that his girlfriend spotted. “I get it so bad, I am not here to make you talk or cry or complain or whatever. Just, um, let me help you, we both know what will help you, we can do it.” Her head nod, as the speech she gave had a more confident sound half way through.

“No, no way, I told we won’t fuck when I’m this angry.” He said almost instantly, shaking his head. “I’m all good, this baby will make me feel better and we can lay down later and watch you favourite, sappy shit, just give me time, I need that.” He mumbled, ignoring her presence by turning back around, guess it was just easier this way.

“Yes, we will, because you want it and I want it.” She said aggressively, getting annoyed with yet again - no interest she was given. Next thing she knew was her hand grabbing Jason’s one harshly, pulling it, to make him look at her and for once, be serious when it came to the stuff that came out of her mouth.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, huh? Fucking get off my dick!” Jason screamed out in frustration, not because of what Y/N did, but because he was just about to bend over and let the magic powder do its wizardry thing.

“You are so fucking irritating. Don’t you get it? You always fuck me when you feel angry, just because you feel extra angry doesn’t mean I can’t take it. Jason, I’m being for real, this is getting out of hand. I can’t have you slamming the door, breaking things, pretending I’m not here, I can’t do it anymore. I feel like fucking shit, you are all I care about and yet, I cannot help you. If you won’t let me be your therapist, just let me be your fucking slut.” The words came out with such great meaning behind them, showing how the struggle of one person can easily affect his closet ones.

“I don’t wanna use you.” Jason whispered, as soon as Y/N’s hands started to touch him up, scrolling through his chest, down to his pants, as she undid the belt.

The only reason he did not stop her was because of what she said, she made him feel as she is soon about to leave if the things won’t change, and that was not in his control at all. Yes, he was aware of the fact his girlfriend that he loved so dearly didn’t even come across to the thought of hurting him and it was his own, messed up thinking that made him believe in that.

“I want to be used.” She whispered back, as her shaking hands slipped down around his tight. Her chin moved up, looking at the face of the boy she loved, looking for answers. She was just too good to simply start with more without getting the permission, just like he would when he wanted to.

He looked at her with such an empty expression. Was it a yes, was it a
no? Y/N slowly, very slowly, stared going down on him, which made Jason furrow his eyebrows in such shock. As soon as he came into realisation, he grabbed her arm, pulling her little body up.

“If you wanna help me, jack me off. I didn’t have a time to do it myself.” He said firmly, sticking up to a plan he created in his mind. Mentally, he punched himself so hard, as he had a girl he adored trying to suck him off and he just declined.

“But, I-”

“No. You want to be my slut? Fucking be one. Shut the fuck up and do what I tell you to do. I don’t want your fucking cunt or you mouth or whatever, jack me off. Make me cum and then fuck off.” He spat, looking at her with no further feeling, which in some weird way had her turned on. She quickly just nodded, hating herself for the fact she enjoyed it. It was a first mini sexual interactions they had in so long, it felt like forever.

Y/N slipped both her hands slowly inside his boxers, massaging his length that was quick to become harder and harder, out of the total lack of touch he has been receiving recently. She looked down, licking her lips, as the tips of her fingers were making rounded moves on the tip of an impressive member, while the other hand landed on a pair of balls, caressing them intensively.

“Fuck, I’m actually close.” Whimpers hit Y/N’s sight, surprising the both of the two, as Jason was never the one to be at his pick point quickly.

“You’re so fucking big.” The moans came out, which made her boyfriend raise the corners of his lips, forming the smirk that was not welcomed on the handsome face since the start of all of his issues.

“Hurry the fuck up.” He muttered, feeling himself getting hot, as he moved his eyes onto a set of hands, satisfying him.

He regretted not fucking her now. What he would do to her. It’s probably what he wouldn’t do to her - that was a real good question. “Oh my-…Faster, harder, I want you to feel me, I want to feel my sperm landing right on your beautiful, tiny hand. Fuck, and you know what you will do later? Lick it all of so nicely, you will get what every slut is waiting for, is daddy fucking right?” He moaned out, restlessly moving his hips to signalise he needs and demands more.

She did as she was told, stroking his dick, up and down as her fingers pressed more force onto his balls, tugging them. The characteristic sound of moans fulfilled the kitchen, as the hands slipping on Jason’s dick made him ready to release and make himself feel better. He was so in the moment, so vulnerable in such state.

“Daddy, I want all of your cum, I’m so ready. I want you to see me tasting you. P-please.” She sobbed, letting out a moan in desperation, as her panties got soaked more and more with every minute.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” A loud, deep groan hit all the corners of their house as the Jason’s hands tightened on the counter behind him. his head threw back and his body became tremulous, when all the juices left his body, accompanied by his moans. Y/N bit the inside of her cheek, feeling the sticky substance on her fingers, slowly taking herself out of dark blue jeans. She waited a minute for Jason to recover and look back. Gently, the tongue was pressed onto fresh skin licking and sucking of all the white cum.

“So fucking hot.” He howled, pressing his thumb on Y/N’s chin, taking the little drop of his sperm left over, as he pressed it against her soft, warm lips. He sighted quietly, annoyed with the fact that he had so much love for this girl. That he loved her and he was tied up to her. That much, that he would happily just let her in. Because, there was a trust the boy had in her.

“You deserve my attention, I will tell you all that bothers me.” He said finally, smiling gently. He now felt bad for the insults and the attitude that somehow covered up the love he was having.

The girl didn’t need apologies to read it from his face. She quickly wrapped her hands around his neck, feeling the sudden relief that both of them really needed at the end. And even through, nothing was going to be easy in any way, she could sleep calmly from now on, knowing she was being a shoulder to cry on.

Fighting to Conceive

Happy imagine based on the request:

“Can you do an imagine where the reader is with Juice or Happy and they decide they want to start a family and she is having trouble getting pregnant, making them fight and ending in fluff and a bun in the oven? Thanks!!”

You groaned at the negative pregnancy test in your hand, throwing it in the bin and leaving the bathroom. You combed your hand through your hair, wondering why you couldn’t get pregnant.

You and Happy had been married for four months, and had been trying constantly to conceive, not that it was much of a chore, but the stars were against you. You just couldn’t get pregnant.

You both desperately wanted a baby, and you knew it was a process and it could take months, but with every negative results your heart shattered just that little bit more. Happy wasn’t helping either, both of you frustrated, secretly blaming the other for not getting the result you both wanted.

You’d been giving the go ahead by your doctor, Happy’s swimmers being perfectly active and your body being a suitable environment to carry, so you just didn’t understand why it wasn’t happening. You rested your head in your hands, willing yourself not to cry, not to be defeated.

You hear the door open downstairs, heavy boots being heard on the laminated floor. You stand up taking a deep breath and leaving the bedroom to go downstairs. As you reach the end of the staircase, you see Happy in the kitchen, eating a leftover piece of pizza.

“Hey, babe. How was the run?” you ask, leaning against the counter with your arms crossed across your chest. He shrugs his shoulders, chewing his food. You close your eyes, the noise of his chewing driving you insane, your mood on the edge.

“Could you please shut your mouth when you’re eating? It’s disgusting.” Your tone is snappy, shocking even yourself but you’re too pissed off to apologise.

“Who pissed in your breakfast?” He retaliates, opening the fridge door and grabbing a beer. You feel yourself getting angrier, the negative pregnancy test looming in the back of your mind.

“Are you seriously drinking already? It’s not even lunch yet. No wonder I can’t get pregnant, your sperm are probably all drunk.” You want to take the words back as soon as you say them, the expression on Happy’s face a mix of anger and hurt.

He slams the bottle down on the counter, grabbing his kutte from the chair and heading for the door.

“Hap-” He slams the door behind him, the strength of it vibrating through the house. Your eyes fill with tears, your chin quivering as you begin to cry. Water streams down your face, sobs escaping from your lips as you slide down to the floor. You bring your knees to your chest, hugging them as your body aches all over.

You feel disgusted with yourself, blaming Happy for the result you didn’t want, when in fact you know he wants this just as much as you do, if not more. He’s already told you about how he wants a little princess to cherish and protect, a little baby boy to dress up in tiny biker boots.

You stay on the floor weeping for what feels like forever, before dragging yourself upstairs, hoping that maybe a hot shower might help. You think about ringing your boyfriend, but decide it’s probably best to give him more time to cool off.

You stand under the stream of water, letting it shelter you as you cry. Cry for yourself, for Happy, and for the unborn baby that you both desperately want.

You look at the clock on your phone. It was currently nine at night and Happy hadn’t been home since you fought. He was usually home by now, and if he wasn’t he usually texted to tell you what time he would be home.

Just when you were thinking of calling one of the SAMCRO boys, you hear the door unlock, Happy stepping through. You look at him, standing from your seat as he locks the door behind him, slipping off his jacket and hanging it on the hook behind him. He turns to face you slowly, a blank look on his face.

You cross the room, throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. You feel his arms slip around your back, holding you to him.

“I’m so, so sorry Happy.” You muffle into his shoulder, squeezing him. You pull back, looking into his eyes, wanting him to know your words are completely true. He kisses you deeply on the lips, a weight being lifted off your shoulders knowing he forgives you.

“Don’t be, baby. I know hard this is on you, and it’s hard on me too, but we need to stick together.“ He tells you, moving a stray hair from your face and tucking it behind your ear. You nod, still feeling guilty as sin, before kissing him again, cupping his face in your hands.

“I love you.” You smile, him kissing you on the forehead and repeating your words back to you. You know things will happen in time. What will be will be.

It’s been just under two months since you argued with Happy. Sure, you still had your little tiffs, but nothing serious. You’d both decided to just have sex when you wanted to have sex, without the pressure of wanting to make a baby everytime. It’s made things so much better, so much more relaxed for the both of you.

However, this month, your period hadn’t came. You’d been feeling really tired lately, and Happy had been giving you more back massages than usual. These were all signs of being pregnant, so here you were, you and Happy, sitting in your bedroom, waiting for the timer to go off so you could check the test.

The second it bleeps you turn it off, blowing out a deep breath and looking at Happy. He kisses you on the lips lovingly, smiling at you.

“No pressure, baby. There’s plenty of time for us to have a baby.” Your heart melts, his constant caring nature being one of your favourite things about him.

You stand up, grabbing the test from the nightstand. You turn it around, having to look and blink a few times to register the result in your head.

Two lines. Positive. Pregnant.

You squeal, jumping up and down, Happy’s face beaming as he stands up, pulling you into his arms and holding you closely.

“I’m going to be a dad.” He says, a smile plastered on his face, his eyes glistening with tears. You bring your lips to his, pouring all of your love and excitement into your movements.

“Yes you are, baby. We’re gonna be parents.”

Originally posted by lovegoods

A/N - I hope you guys liked this fluff imagine! I felt like this took me longer to write than usual, I had a bit of a block but it happens to us all I guess :) I’m going to post either a Negan imagine next or an SOA one, I’ll let you know! Thank you for reading and thank you for all the love you show on my imagines, it means the world to me :) xxxx

anonymous asked:

Can you do a KBTBB headcanon like the one for HLITF where the MC doesn't want protection because she wants to get pregnant?

I will assume that the bidder and MC are married as well. I also add in Luke this time.

Eisuke busy working with his laptop in the study room. You put on your sexy lingerie and walk to behind him. You wrap your hands around him and starts kissing his neck.

“Eisuke, today is my ovulation day. Do you want to go in raw?” You whisper as you bitting his earlobe.

Upon hearing that, Eisuke stop moving his fingers on his laptop and turns to look at you. “Well, I definitely won’t reject such invitation. However, don’t expect I will let you sleep tonight.” He smirks before sweeping you off the floor and carries you to the bedroom.

After placing you down on the bed, he strips himself naked. You also take the opportunity to remove your lingerie, as if you can’t wait anymore. You pull him down and start kissing him. He glides his fingers all over your naked body and return your kiss passionately. You can feel his hard member position at your entrance and he penetrate deep inside you. You moan and arch your back in pleasure as he thrust his member back and fore inside you.

“Your inside…is darm wet and hot. It tightening …my member inside. I don’t think I can hold..on much longer. I going …to cum soon.” He pants as he still oscillating his hips. “One time is not enough….I need more.” He continue.

“Eisuke…Mmm… I not letting you out …either. Cum inside…me..ahh.” You moan and cross your legs around his waist, refusing to let him out of your womb. He increase his pace and keep rubbing your womb with his hard member.

When you step out of the bathroom, you saw Soryu resting on the bed. He is only in his bathrobe after his bath. You walk over to him and straddling his laps. He wakes up when he feel your weight on him. You rub your clitoris against his crotch and lean down to kiss his neck.

“Soryu, today is my ovulation day and my womb is waiting for you to go in raw today.” You whisper softly into his ear.

He immediately roll you underneath him and remove the towel that wrap around your body. He kisses you passionately over your body and thrust his hard member inside you. He starts oscillating his hips roughly on you until you arch your back and moans his name loudly.

“This is..amazing..it is so wet and hot. My hips can’t ….control itself …but wanted to move…faster. Don’t blame me..if I too rough…and forget about..sleep tonight.” He pants as he increase his speed at his hips.

You moaning sound fill the room and you wrap your legs around his waist. You grab the bedsheets as you goes into ecstasy.

“I want…you to..be…rough on me. Mmm.. Do what..you want with me…Ahh…” You panted as you tighten your grip on the bedsheets.

Ota is admiring a portrait of you which he draw sometime ago. You walk behind him and wrap your hands around him.

“Ota, why don’t we draw kids of ours.” You asked.

“We don’t have kids yet. I can do that next time.” Ota replied casually.

“Why don’t we make one now. Today is my ovulation day and you can go in raw if you want.” You said shyly.

He turns around and look at you before breaking into a smiles. He pushes you against the wall and kiss you passionately. You feel his hands work on you dress zipper and it drop to the floor instantly. He then remove your bra and panties before stripping himself naked as well. He moves his kisses to the nape of your neck, and you can feel his hands caresses your naked butt.

The next thing you know, he lifts you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. His member is position at your entrance and he penetrate deeply inside you. You arch your back in pleasure while gripping hold on him. He starts oscillating his hips roughly and your body move up and down with his movement. His every thrusts touch all your sensitive spots and you moans his name loudly.

“It is..so good. So hot….and wet. Mmm…. It tightening..my member. I going to cum….soon but I don’t want…to stop. I need more….of you….ahh…” He whisper in between his kisses.

“Mmm…. Your member is …..kissing deeply inside…. my womb… Mmm…. I feel so high….I don’t want to stop too. Please…don’t stop..” You moans as you kiss him back.

Luke is busy reading his medical materials as usual when you wrap arms around his shoulder. He seems to be reading research relating to ovarian cancer.

“Luke, I am wondering what is it feel for a man sperm to go into woman ovarian. And how is it feel to have a raw member rubbing inside the womb.” You whisper into his ear.

“Well…want to give it a try? It is your ovulation day, right? You will know when I insert my member in and blow my sperm inside you.” He smirks as he turns to look at you.

He then get up and carries you over to the bed. He strips himself naked and quickly remove your clothes. He places his member at your entrance and rubs it up and and down.

“Oh my. You already wet below.” He smirks. He then leans down and kiss your lips and move his lips down to your collarbone. He keeps kissing your collarbone until you feel like he is marking you. He penetrate deep inside you and starts oscillating his hips roughly on you. You moan and arch your back in pleasure while he still kissing your collarbone.

“Mmm…So how do ….you feel? Ahh…I can feel your wetness ….and hotness wrap …..around my member. Mmm…It is so amazing…. It is so ….tight that I could cum anytime. Ahh… I want to fill your ovarian….with all my sperm ….until it overflow…..” He pants and whisper in between his kisses.

You wrap your hands and legs around him and moan his name loudly. You are so high that you basically give all yourself to him. You can feel his speed increasing as you cling tightly to him.

“Mmm… Fill it up..with your sperm… Ahh.. Your member is…..so hard… I don’t want…you to pull out….ahh.” You pant as you moan.

  • Safu: Shion, there's something I'd like you to give me.
  • Shion: S-sure. If it's something I can do before you leave.
  • Safu: Your sperm.
  • Shion: ...
  • Safu: Did you hear me? I want your sperm.
  • Shion: Uh... er... Safu, uh...
  • Safu: I want to have sex. I want to have sex with you.
  • Shion: Uh... well... Just hold on.
  • Safu: Right now.
  • Me:
  • Me:
  • Me:
  • Me:
  • Me: What the fuck am I watching?

“I want your sperm.”

This… awkward scene.

It’s even worse in the light novel. I couldn’t help but think Safu is… a lil obsessed….

“Shion, I want to ask something from you.”

“Sure, if I can manage to get it to you in time…”

“Your sperm.”

Safu looked Shion in the eyes as she said those words. She didn’t blink once. Shion gaped at her open-mouthed.

“Did you hear me? I want your sperm.”

“Uh― what? Safu… um―”

“Out of all the people I know, you would probably be the most superior sperm donor. Your sperm and my ovum. Don’t you think it would produce the most perfect child? I want it, Shion. I want your sperm.”

“Artificial insemination needs permission from the city,” Shion answered cautiously.

“Getting permission would be easy. The city encourages artificial insemination between people who possess excellent DNA and superior skills.”



Safu mumbled something, but he couldn’t catch it. He bent toward her slightly so he could hear better.

“I want to have sex with you.”

Her words rang clear in Shion’s ears.


“I don’t want your sperm. I don’t want artificial insemination. I don’t care about having kids or not. I want to have sex with you. That’s it.”

“Wait, uh― wait a minute… Safu, I―”

“Right now.”

anonymous asked:

i gotta know more about the weird shit hux and ren order on space amazon especially if pranks are involved


-Space Amazon AU

As I said before, Mitaka as an assistant has to go through Hux’s mail every day.

His life is not an easy one, what with all the weird shit they order from Space Amazon.

List of some things Mitaka had to see, touch or return for various reasons:
-A couple of rainbow wigs
-Glittery lube (returned, Hux was allergic to it but sent back because it was used)
-A set of war paint, old fashioned combat uniforms and military rations (they went camping in the wild okay)
-A picture of Mitaka’s mom, framed and dedicated to “My dear Kylo”.
-Sexy dice, but with things like “Do the dishes” or “Make the bed” on one, and random sexual favors on the other.

-CAVEMEN AU (Don’t judge me I’m legally out of my mind and come up with these while cooking)

Hux is the son of the local chieftain.

He fucking hates the other clan that lives a few hours from there, they can barely talk and groan whenever they are unhappy with something and are really secretive, nobody ever sees them.

One day, Hux is off in the wild, looking for pigments for his cave painting of the village that he’s been working on for a long time. While he’s busy collecting his paint materials, he get attacked by a saber-tooth tiger oh no!

Luckily, Ren, had been tracking the beast, having been tasked to kill it to prove his worth to the his adoptive father, clan leader, Snoke.

Hux is badly injured but Ren manages to save him, using his knowledge about medicinal plants. It takes two days to stop Hux’s delirious fever but when he finally wakes up, he’s not too happy to be at the mercy of that unrefined man.

Since he’s stuck there anyway until he can walk back to his village, and dependent on Ren bringing him food and water, they try communicating and Hux realizes that they are not idiots but just speaking a slightly different language (Ren uses a strange word when referring to Hux, and we learn later than it’s the name they give to the setting sun, Ren’s people live during the night and sleep during the day, favoring the darkness to hunt their preys).

Anyway, Hux gets better and fuck off back to his village.

When he gets back, he finds the tiger’s prized teeth in his little backpack, that Ren put in there for Hux to remember him by and went back to his own village empty handed and was probably shamed for failing his trial. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Some random AUs we talked about today and that tell a lot about our mental state:

-The Force knows

What if little 10yo Kylo saw 14yo Hux for the first time, and since he had never seen orange hair before he, being his grandfather’s grandson, asked if he was an angel? And Hux laughed right in his face so Kylo went back home to his mother crying lol.

I have that little headcanon that Force users always know at first glance who they’re going to like forever so Hux’s rejection must have hurt like a bitch.

What if Kylo always thought he was the only Skywalker and that he’d meet a cute girl like Padme and know she’s the one, because Anakin, and then he meets Hux and tries to convince himself that there’s been a mistake, the Force got it wrong, look at that noodle how can he even pass down his genes to make future Skywalkers fuck ups with that?

So he denies his feelings and tries to look for what’s probably his “real” love. And then he learns about Rey and her boyfriend Finn and he’s SO GLAD he breaks Hux’s door down and bends him over the couch.

Making little Skywalker fuck ups is Rey’s problem now

-Cracked finds an add with a funny typo, it gets turned into an AU (everything can turn into an AU if you’re not vigilant. Be careful kids)

Hux works as a phone receptionist for whatever company.

Kylo keeps calling.

“Hello is this the sperm bank?”

(Cracked): Hux in his prim and proper voice and clothing LMFAO

“I have a sample you might like to add to your collection. You will need to collect it yourself as I can be a very messy boy.”

“I DON’T WANT OR NEED YOUR SPERM SAMPLE” *Cue Hux’s colleague laughing, because it’s -that- guy again.*

(Cracked): Does he send Hux anonymous flowers in a sperm-shaped vase?
Every Tuesday? Also chocolates….with cream filling.

Does Kylo even know what he looks like? I bet he called once by mistake and decided he liked his voice.

(Cracked): He has no idea what he looks like.

“I’ll be waiting for you in front of the Starbucks you will recognize me, I’m wearing a t-shirt with– “WITH SPERM RIGHT I GET IT” “-Little Neko Atsume cats…”

-Hux gets paid vacation time

Does General Hux get paid vacation time?

Where the fuck would he go
Do they all have to deal with unsupervised Kylo Ren when he’s away?

Is Kylo in fact very good at commandeering the ship and they kinda want Hux to leave more often because everything’s more relaxed when he’s away because Kylo doesn’t give a fuck about your uniform being pressed and things being done perfectly on time, and still everything’s going smoothly

(Cracked): Hux wouldn’t take a vacation if you paid him.

Is everything going super smoothly but when Hux opens the door to his quarters he falls under an avalanche of reports waiting to be filled that Kylo just pushed under his door hoping they’d disappear if he can’t see them?

And then he discovers that it was tacos Tuesday every day for 14 days and everybody’s now overweight.

(Cracked): Except Kylo who can eat 14 tacos an hour and not gain an ounce.

Kylo won the Tacos eating competition ever day. Mitaka came second but almost died on the third day so Phasma took his place.

Hux visits him in the medical bay and Mitaka looks like he’s seen some shit he’ll never recover from.


Secret Motel Room Sessions

Characters: Dean x Reader and Sam Winchester

Plot: After doing some investigation on the demon case, Dean and Reader decide to have some fun. ;)

Word Count: 1,892

Warnings: Alot of smut… and by alot I mean ALOT, swearing, dirty talk, Dom!Dean, bondage, kinky sex, the basics around here lol,

A/N: ALRIGHT LOS ANGELES!!! (That’s how I’m gonna start off every A/N from now on, Idk why it’s funny). Part 3 is HERE, and in under a week!! Be happy lol. Update frequency for this series may go down slightly due to the fact I’m starting a NEW SERIES!! A sneak peak will be up within the next week or two. It was suggested by a reader and I wanna thank her for doing that. XD AND THANK YOU GUYS FOR 130 FOLLOWERS!!! AHHHH! I’ll shut up now, ENJOY!!!:

Part 1: http://sam-dean-moose-squirrel.tumblr.com/post/145080113920/late-night-research-sessions
Part 2: http://sam-dean-moose-squirrel.tumblr.com/post/145278838160/steamy-impala-sessions

After Sam had caught you and Dean in the backseat of the Impala, he cussed you both out.

“Really, IN THE CAR!!” Sam shouts, his voice full of anger and annoyance.

“Oh before me I know there was a few girls back here! Did you bitch at them like us?” You challenge,  arms crossed. Sam always treats you like a child. You hated it more than (least favorite genre) music. And you hate that crap. 

“No, he didn’t.” Dean says from the driver’s seat. Sam gives him the signature bitch face and does the same to you in his sun visor mirror. 

You stick you tongue out and flip him off. You think about everything Dean did to you. Every touch, every kiss, every spank. You loved every single minute of it. You cross your legs to avoid rubbing them together. You need to feel his touch again. Dean looks at you though his sun visor and grins. He already knows what he’s going to do to you in the next hour. 

He pulls up to the motel and shuts the car off. You three get out and walk in the motel room. You all had spent the rest of the day interviewing and reading over the files at the police department. After you had interviewed the families, Dean had pulled you in the bathroom. He ate you out  on the sink counter until some on came in. He quickly pushed you in a stall so you wouldn’t be seen.

Dean walked into the motel and took his jacket off.

“DIBS ON THE SHOWER!” You shouted, running towards the bathroom while trying to unstrap your heels. 

Sam rolled his eyes and said, “Whatever, I’m going to go get pizza. Do whatever but NOT on that bed!!! There’s only one in this room with no couch and I don’t want to sleep in the car or in your sperm, Dean.” Sam warns, taking the keys and walking out the door.  

You overheard Sam and now you’re laughing like you’ll never laugh again. Dean comes in the bathroom and finds you on the floor clenching your stomach and struggling to breathe. He laughs at the sight and helps you up. 

“You laugh at everything don’t you?” Dean giggles, kissing your forehead. 

“Yeah I do.” You laugh, kissing his lips. 

“How about I run a hot shower and get you out of those clothes.” Dean smiles. “Alright,” you say. 

He pushes you against the wall and slowly unbuttons your shirt while you do the same to him. He kisses you roughly, and says “Don’t move,” He walks over to the shower and turns the hot water on. He adjusts the temperature to make it just right. 

While he’s doing this, you strip down to just your bra and panties. He turns around and his eyes widen. “I thought I said to not move?” He smirks. He walks over to you and grabs your wrists and pins your arms above you. 

“Oh sweetheart,” Dean says, his tone soft yet firm, “you look so sexy in that. Too bad I’m gonna have to rip it off.”  His tone hardened. You grind your hips against his and a grunt escapes his lips. “You shouldn’t have done that.” He picks you up and sets you on the sink counter. His hands snake around you and unclasps your bra.

“Mmmm.” He mumbles. He kisses your neck and bites at it, leaving purple marks everywhere. You throw your head back and moan as he starts licking your breasts. He starts kissing them, leaving purple marks there too. He licks your nipple and begins biting it. 

“I can’t take it,” Dean mumbles. He picks you up and walks over to the bed. He throws you on it, then straddling you. He smashes his lips onto yours. The kiss is hungry and needy. His hands explores every inch  your body, his touch feeling like electricity. His lips trail down your chest, stomach and then your waist. He bites the silk fabric of your panties and slowly pulls them off with his teeth.  

“Mmm, sweetheart, I can’t wait to taste this soaking wet pussy.” He says, his voice dark and low. He lowers his head down towards your sex. You feel his hot breath on you and start to squirm. He pushes down on your hips, half pinning you to the bed. 

“I’m gonna have to tie you up aren’t I, Y/N,”  Dean says, his voice demanding. He gets up and walks over to his bag. He pulls out some red rope and other stuff. He walks over to you and yanks your hands above your head. 

“Don’t move them.” He says. He wraps the rope around your wrists and then ties the rope around the little thingys on the headboard. 

“Now are you gonna move, Y/N,” Dean asks, crossing his arms. 

You were so turned on while he was tying you up. It was hard not to move. “No, Sir. I won’t move. I’ll be good.” You say. Dean gives you a small smile. He takes his shirt off kind of roughly. You knew then not to disobey him or else you would get a spanking. 

“Good girls get rewarded, bad girls get punished. Always remember that.” Dean says softly. 

“Yes, Sir.” You say, your voice serious. He smiles at you again. He places one finger on your clit. The touch makes you move just a slight bit. He rubs your sex with his finger, causing more friction. He gets back on the bad and lowers his head once again towards your throbbing wet pussy. He licks a single stripe up you. 

He swirls his tongue around and around , again and again, keeping up the torture. You’re losing all sense of self, every fiber of your being concentrating hard on that small, potent powerhouse at the apex of your thighs. Your  legs go rigid , and he slips his finger inside you, and you hear his growling groan.

“Mmmm you’re so tight baby.” Dean mumbles. He twists his finger around inside of you. 

“D- Sir,” you moan. He inserts 2 more fingers and starts pumping in and out of you. Ecstasy and pleasure runs through your veins.

You get closer to you climax as he continues fingering your pussy. “Sir, I’m close, fuck!” You moan, almost a scream. He pulls his fingers out of you. 

“Taste how sweet you are.” He says. He puts his three fingers that were just inside you in your mouth. You suck on them, tasting yourself. You stop when your can’t taste any more of your juices. He takes his fingers out of your mouth and stands up. He takes his jeans off and underwear. His dick springs out, coated with pre-cum. You want to lick it off so bad but you can’t because you’re tied up.

“Does my princess want my cock?” Dean teases. He starts stroking himself.

“Yes, Sir, I do. I want to suck your sweet cock.” You say, your tone drenched in lust. Dean crawls on top of you and lines himself up with your mouth. 

“Open. ” Dean demands. You open your mouth as wide as you can. He shoves his dick inside your mouth. You wrap your lips around him as he fucks your mouth. 

“Fuck like that, baby.” He moans. He’s now hitting the back of of your throat. You’ve lost your gag reflex after all these times of Dean doing this. You moan, sending a vibration through Dean. 

“Yes, y/n, yes!” Dean half screams. He edges closer to his climax every time you moan. He pulls out before he can cum. 

“You’ve been such a good girl, Y/N. I think you deserve a reward.” Dean say, trying to catch his breath. “Lets reward you.” He smirks. He unties your hands, freeing you. Your wrists have rope burns on them. Dean lines himself up at your vagina and rubs his tip on your clit. 

“So wet for me.” He mumbles. He shoves himself inside you balls deep. You let out a loud moan at the feeling. He pulls out of you and slams back in. He quickly picks up a hard and fast pace. Your legs are like jelly, as Dean thrusts in you.

“Sir- Sir, I’m close!” You moan, almost pornographic. He quickly flips you two over so now you’re on top of him. 

“Ride me, Princess.” Dean says, a smirk plastered across his face. You lower yourself on top of him. You go up and down, you both getting closer to the edge.
“D-Sir, I’m close.” You say, your voice quiet.

“Go ahead, cum with me, cum with me, Y/N,” Dean half moans.

You both release, Dean’s seed spilling inside you. You both come down from your highs and lay beside each other. 

Suddenly, you two hear the door unlock. Dean grabs your hand and pulls you to the bathroom. 

“Dean, y/n, I’m here! And I brought you your ( insert favorite pizza)!” Sam looks over to the bed and sees its all messed up. The rope is still tied around the headboard. 

“DEAN! Y/ N!” Sam basically screams. You and Dean try to contain your laughter but fail at doing so. 

“How many goddamn times are you going to do something I thought I told you two not to?!” Sam says his voice harsh. You grab your panties and Dean’s white button up that are still in the bathroom and put them on. Dean grabs a towel and wraps it around his waist. 

You two walk out with obvious sex hair. “Yeah?” You ask, innocently. Your innocent voice always gets you away with stuff. 

“Really, what the actual fuck?” Sam says, crossing his arms. 

“We can just switch rooms, Sammy.” Dean says, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

“No, I’m switching rooms, you two are sleeping here.” Sam declares, taking his bag and a box of pizza with him. 

“Now we’ve got the place to ourselves.” Dean brags, taking a slice of pizza and handing it to you. 

“Yup,” you say, taking a bite. 

“So whatcha wanna do?” Dean asks you. 

“Netflix?” You offer, taking another bite. “I need to get caught up on Orange Is The New Black." 

"Ok, we’ll watch that.” Dean says, wrapping his arms around you and kissing your forehead.


Tagging: @roseringleader13 @fault-in-our-chaos @supernatural-jackles

Cameron swung open the front door, revealing a pale, petite woman with raven hair. “Can I help you with something?”

The woman took a step back as she studied him, wringing her hands nervously. “Are you Cameron Noir?”

Cameron crossed his arms across his chest as if to protect himself from whatever this woman wanted. “I am.” He tilted his head to the side. Judging by the accent the woman spoke with and the way she held herself, she was clearly in an unknown place. “Is there something you want from me?”

“Have you ever heard of a man named Atlas Erasmus?”

Cameron took a step back, bumping into the door. “We’ve met - once. That was enough. Why? Is he hiding behind a tree out there or something? Is that what this is? Listen, I don’t want -”

“He’s your father, right?”

“Sperm donor.”

The woman’s face bore signs of relief as she pulled on her braid a few times, biting her blood red lips. “It’s really you, isn’t it? It has to be. I’ve searched for you for so long…”

“Searched for me? I don’t understand… why?”