i want you to let go of all your insecurities

i never want to be a distraction
you say as
you’re unashamed and naked
i feel ok
all over
void of all composure
and i know this may sound
i like the lips you kiss with
but i want to wear your lipstick
cuz it means i got to kiss them
you say
you like the sound of cigarettes after sex
and I say,
“yeah, yeah, yeah”

one, two hits
her lips
and bad behavior
i’m in danger
three, four a.m.
the feeling’s getting stranger
i’m in danger
bad behavior

and i don’t have time for your feelings
you told me
you’re insecure but don’t be
stay soft
but don’t be gentle
it’s all together mental
let’s go to a place where
we can forget
we haven’t left the room yet
you eloquently
that leaving’s overrated
you say
you like the sound of cigarettes after sex
and I say
“yeah, yeah, yeah”

i inhale you in small doses
and adore you like the roses
when you’re bad for me
yeah you’re bad for me
you medicate me with your poses
i’m a lush I know you notice
you’re bad for me
you’re bad for me
you’re bad for me

I got you dude. I’m not the skinny type, I’m thick and I got a bit of a stomach. I know it’s not really “ chubby ” but I’m tired of all the constantly skinny, perfect MC so let’s go Broski. I don’t really know what to do for Jaehee right now so bare with me. I’ll post hers later.


»Absolutely adores it

» This lil baby just wants games and cuddles

»Never really understood why you got so insecure.

» He loved all of your curves, every little stretch mark was beautiful to him

» After falling asleep in his arms he would lightly trace them with his finger tips, all your perfect little imperfections.

» He constantly studied your body and whenever you questioned it he went off about how beautiful you were.

»He constantly would compliment you, making sure that you always had a light in your eyes.

» Regardless of your body type, Yoosung mainly fell in love with your personality.


»He understood since he actually fuckimg lived off of junk food.

» He was constantly with you whenever you wanted to lose weight

» And whenever you were you were being insecure about your weight, he just told you it was all just more to love.

» When you felt stress because people were beating you down, he’d let you cuddle up in his lap when he was working.

» He was also really turned on by all of your curves cause damn bitch you fucking work it

Jumin whenever I type Jumin it auto corrects to humongous I think my phone wants to say something

» Jumin completely never got it.

» When you wanted to loose weight he would hire weight loss trainers

» When you wanted to eat better he would hire some top qual chefs.

» Once he figured out that you needed more love, he was all over you

» The moment he got done with work he would pull you close and hold you.

» He’d let you cry on his shoulder about how people were rude about your weight.

» When you didn’t feel beautiful, all he did was compliment you, cherish you, sometimes he’d make good ass love to you.

» Every once in a while he hired fashion designers that could give you a make over and absolutely made you feel like, and look like, a goddess.

» That’s what you were to him. A curvy goddess.


» Zen always high key hoped that his narcissism rubbed off on you.

»Sadly it never did. You were always so insecure about your body and your weight.

» Zen slowly adverted all of his attention to you.

» Every once in a while, he would brag to the press about how much he loved you and how gorgeous you are.

» At home, he was a lot like Yoosung, holding you close and studying every little detail of your body.

» It also highkey turned him on to see how curvy you are


» God this man loved your curves.

» He thought you were an actual angel sent down from heaven just for him like holy fuck.

» Ever since he got his vision back he just fell harder for you.

» He would flaunt you in public, buy you whatever his money could afford

»He just spoiled the hell out of you and made you feel so fucking loved

» All of the attention he gave you was washing most of your insecurities away because he was all you needed.

» He was your universe.


» Saeran always had trouble sorting out his emotions so you never truly felt like he loved you.

» But one day he found you crying in front of a mirror due to all of your insecurities.

» Every day since then, he put all of his power into making sure you were cherished.

Emo fuzzball knew what it felt like, he does that same thing but he couldn’t have you feeling the same emotions

» Saeran wasn’t sure about many of his emotions but one he knew for sure was that he loved you. A lot. So he spent every second of every day making sure you knew it.

the maine / bad behavior / lyrics

i never want to be a defection
you say as
you’re unashamed and naked
i feel okay all over
void of all composure
and i know this may sound narcissistic

i like the lips you kiss with
i want to wear your lipstick
cause that means i got to kiss them
say you like the sound
of cigarettes after sex
and i say (yeah, yeah, yeah)

we’re two kids
her lips are bad behavior
i’m in danger
three, four am
the feelings getting stranger
i’m in danger
(bad behavior)

and i don’t have time for your feelings
you tell me
you’re insecure but don’t be
stay soft but don’t be gentle
it’s all together mental
let’s go to a place where
we can forget
we haven’t left the room yet
you eloquently stated
leavings overrated

you say
you say you like the sound
of cigarettes after sex 
and i say (yeah, yeah, yeah)

we’re two kids
her lips are bad behavior
i’m in danger
three, four am
the feelings getting stranger
i’m in danger

(oh, oh, oh,)
the way you’re hanging
(can’t understand a few lines here)
cause you’re bad for me, yeah
but you’re bad for me, yeah
you medicate me with your poses
(another few line i can’t understand)
you’re bad for me, yeah
but you’re bad for me, yeah
(oh, oh, oh)
and i say (yeah, yeah, yeah)

we’re two kids
her lips are bad behavior
i’m in danger
(yeah, yeah, yeah)
oh, when we go to bed
her bids (?) are muse and savor (again, ?)
and i’m in danger
(yeah, i’m in danger)
(oh, oh, oh)

i think i know that you’re bad for me
oh, i think you’re bad for me
(oh, oh, oh)

Social Media Insecurities Are On The Rise

Please remember who you are and that your true self worth is not in ‘how many’ social media likes, comments, friends and followers you have, lose or don’t have.
Keep shining your light and being true to you; with zero cares (nicer word than I wanted to use) given as to how many likes and followers you are attracting.
The more you let go of all that and just be YOU in all your realness and glory, the higher you’ll vibrate and the right people will be lead to you and will resonate with you and your message and/or brand.
Social media has began to cause many people to feel a sense of insecurity over all of this and I just want to remind you to take it easy and know that regardless of whether you have10k followers, 200 likes a post or 20….YOU ARE JUST AS DIVINE.
If you have a message or gift to share with world, SHARE IT….don’t let numbers distract you…..please, please, please. Share it anyway.
Your consistency, dedication, care-free approach and light hearted mind-set will attract your tribe (a.k.a. the right people) to you and weed out all the others.
I’d rather have 100 authentic friends/followers on social media, who truly resonate with my page and allow me to be 'ME’, than 100,000 followers who don’t. May we all keep things in perspective here and honor our worth, honor our voice, honor our light and appreciate the people who do show love and resonate with us. Wishing you much peace and authenticity daily. You are beautiful. Stay in the gratitude and high vibrational zones! Muah!
Sending love to you always. Enjoy your day!  
-Lalah Delia | Vibrate Higher Dail

✿The signs as Melanie Martinez songs quotes✿

Aries- “I know my a-b-cs yet you keep teaching me, I say fuck your degree, alphabet boy- Alphabet Boy

Taurus- “Round and round like horse on a carousel. We go, will I catch up to love? I can never tell”- Carousel

Gemini- “Ashes to ashes, time to go down. Ooh, honey do you want me now?- Milk and Cookies

Cancer- I wanna ride my bike with you, fully undressed, no training wheels left for youI’ll pull them off for you”- Training Wheels

Leo- “If they say to kill yourself then you will try it. All the makeup in the world won’t make you less insecure- Sippy Cup

Virgo- I’m tired of being careful, tiptoe, trying to keep the water warm. Let me under your skin”- Soap

Libra- “Someone told me stay away from thing that aren’t yours. But was he yours if he wanted me so bad?- Pacify Her

Scorpio- “I’m not a piece of cake for you to just discard while you walk away with the frosting on my heart. So I’m taking back what’s mine, you’ll miss- Cake

Sagittarius- “I’m nuts, baby I’m mad. The craziest friend that you ever had- Mad Hatter

Capricorn- “Whoever said I give a shit ‘bout you? You never share your toys or communicate, I guess I’m just a play date to you- Play Date

Aquarius- It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to. Cry if I want to (cry, cry, cry)”- Pity Party

Pisces- Your heart’s too big for your body, that’s why you don’t fit inside. You pour it up where anyone can see”- Cry Baby

It has been a rough couple of months but things are starting to look up. You breaking my heart then stabbing a knife through it broke me hard enough for me to get some strength to leave. I let go of all the doubts, insecurity, and hurt you caused me and I feel happier than ever. Freedom from your attachment made my sight blurry at first but I see the world clearer now. I am indeed better without you. I am starting to forget the warm color of your eyes when I used to could describe it with an plentiful of words. I moped around the first couple of weeks. I let sadness took over me before I decided that I don’t ever want to feel this way again. I’m never going to feel like I’m not good enough anymore. So I turned my focus on myself. I stopped doing you and I did me. I went out and made myself happy. I strengthen my relationships with my friends. I became a better person and less selfish. I got hired at my dream job. And all these things I have a control over. What I didn’t have control over is you loving me. And I depended on that to make me happy. I realize my mistake and I accepted that we’re not meant to be and I’m so happy with my life. It does get better. Sitting on the floor with a bottle of vodka glued to my lips that night, I would have never guessed I would be able to find happiness in myself. I thought I needed someone to numb the pain. But all I needed was me. I’m enough.

Insecure - Nate Maloley imagine

Anonymous said:Could you write an imagine where your dating Nate and you have smallish boobs like a B cup and your insecure about it and he makes you feel better?? Thank you 

(i’m just going to do her being insecure about her whole body, hope you don’t mind.)


“Baby, c’mon let go out to the pool, it’s hot out, we shouldn’t stay inside all day. Everyone is outside.” Nate said walking into the room that we share, already wearing his swimming trunks, obviously planning on going to the pool whether I wanted to, or not. I just gave him a tired look, already trying to figure out what I could say to tell him that I didn’t want to go. 

“Eh, I’m kind of tired Nate, I really don’t feel like going to the pool. I really just wanted to get some rest today, after the busy week I had, I just wanted this day to be relaxing.” I said, avoiding Nate’s eyes, hoping that he would let it be, and just go by himself. I wanted to go, I just wasn’t too confident about my body, and having to hang around girls who had the body that I envied just made things completely worse. Of course when Nate said ‘everyone’ that also included, Emily, Taylor, and Stassie who basically had perfect bodies, and compared to me, I looked like absolute crap.

“Why not? Babe, we can relax at the pool, we don’t have to swim or anything we can just sit by the poolside, we don’t have to do anything else, you can still rest.” Nate same over and sat down by me, wrapping one arm around my shoulder, leaning over and kisses my head gently. “Why don’t you want to go, yn? I know there’s something more serious that you’re thinking about. Whenever we hang out with Stassie, or Taylor and it involves a beach, or going to the pool, you never want to go. Do you not like them? Or they mean to you, because I swear to god y/n-” I cut him off, by moving myself from under his arm, walking over to the other side of the room leaning my back against the wall.

“That’s not it, I like them, it’s just. Nothing.” I sighed out loudly, knowing I should’ve just stopped what I was saying, because now I know Nate will end up getting the truth out of me. He got up, and walked over towards, a look of concern, and confusion taking over his face. He raised his eyebrows, and cocked his head slightly to the left.

“y/n. What’s wrong? And don’t say nothing because I know that there’s something wrong. You can tell me baby. Why don’t you want to go?” He wasn’t going to let this go, and I knew that so i figured I might as well tell him.

“I’m not confident of my body.” I quickly mumbled out, looking down at the floor, not wanting to look him straight in the eyes, embarrassed of what I had just confessed. He didn’t quite hear me, so he made a face that basically asked me to repeat. I took another deep sigh, before looking straight into his eyes this time.

“I said, I’m not confident of my body, Nate. That is why I don’t want to go, because I’m basically insecure about everything/ When we hang out with Taylor or Stassie, or Emily and they flaunt off their perfect bodies, I feel even worse about my body, that’s why I never want to go.” I slid my thumbs into my pockets, and stayed silent, I didn’t want to say anything else, I looked at Nate, and he just stared at me with a blank face, not letting any expression come out. I closed my eyes, and just leaned my head back, feeling horrible for sounding so silly about my body. I was caught off guard when I felt Nate grab my hand from my pocket and pulled me towards the bathroom.

“Nate what are you doing?” I asked started to get anxious as his sudden actions. Once we got into the bathroom, he placed us both in front of the mirror. Knowing where this was going, I kept my eyes closed, not wanting to go through this self torture.

“I wish you could see the beauty that I see whenever I look at you, y/n. You are so beautiful, and you’re body is so beautiful, you shouldn’t be insecure about your body, you should be extremely confident. Please open your eyes, y/n. Please.” Nate rested his hands on my waist, I opened my eyes slowly to see him looking directly at my face. “You’re so beautiful, and your body is amazing.” He gave me a kiss on the lips between every word, before finally leaning in, and kissing me passionately.  No matter how I was feeling, Nate always found a way to make me feel better, and I loved him so much for this. “And if it makes you feel any better, I’ve heard Stassie say how much she wishes she had your body, everyone thinks you’re hot baby.” Nate added on giving me his famous smirk, before giving me another kiss.

“Thank you Nate, this was well needed, I just need to start gaining some confidence that’s all. You don’t understand how much you mean to me, I love you.” I gave him a warm, pushing some hair behind my ear.

“And I’ll be here to make sure you get that confidence baby, I love you too. Now go put on that bathing suit, cause we’re going to the beach.” He returned the smile and then smacked my butt playfully, before walking out of the bathroom, I followed him out and went straight to the closer to get my clothes together, letting a small laugh escape my lip.

“You’re a wild one, Maloley.”

love knows no language

the first time I laid with her she spread my legs opened like wings
and for the first time I swore I was flying..
my back arching to the movements of her tongue,
her hands gripping my breasts like they were mountains,
like my body was the last vertex she would conquer,
her fingers dipping into the peaks and valleys of me,
coming out covered with the rivers my ex never discovered,
her arms wrapped beneath my legs,
my pelvis moving up and down to the sound of her moans -
silence could only last so long before the conversation between our bodies got louder, and I -
I for the first time didn’t think about what people thought,
I for the first time didn’t care about being loud,
I for the first time didn’t care if anyone knew you weren’t just my “friend”..
I wanted to come -into your mind and let go of all my sexual insecurities.
the weight of shame left my body leaving me breathless .
This was the first time someone took the time to open my thighs like I was a book they were eager to read,
and because you-
because you studied my body,
you learned the language of it,
and I will loudly speak to you in our language of love even if no one understands it- and no one has to. Because when your body meets mine, love knows no language.

-Lakota Fae
06/17/2015 -2:39 A.M

You Perve!

“Babe let me see the dress” You heard Luke’s voice from outside the door. You stared into the mirror again and sighed. This dress is awfully slutty

External image

You didn’t think you looked too good in it, feeling insecure. 

“Umm, I don’t like it…I think I’ll go with the first dress” You called out and all of a sudden the curtains in the changing room opened and Luke is standing there gawking at you. 

“Get this one babe, if you don’t want to wear it out you could wear it around the house” He stared at your cleavage and boobs. 

“Get out, you’re not supposed to be in here” You laughed 

“No one else is here except for the workers, we could do a little something don’t you think?” He smirked 

“You perve” You giggled trying to push him out but suddenly he grabbed the hand you pushed him with and smiled evilly. You face became still as he backed you up and held up both your hands above you head and smashed his lips on to yours. He trailed his kisses to your neck and back up to your ear. 

“Be a good little kitten” He whispered and nibbled your earlobe, you let out a small moan and that’s when he pushed your leg open with his own and your hands went down and unzipped his pants. You unbuttoned his boxers and his dick practically shot out as hard as a rock. He sat down on the little stool they had for you and you sat on him putting your hands on the mirror. You bounced hard and bit your lip keeping the moans in. His hand firmly on your back and one rubbing your clit. He picked you up and you wrapped you rlegs around him and he slammed you against the wall and fucked you hard. You turned your head staring into the mirror as he fucked you. His hair messy and lips attached to your neck. His hips pounding against yours. All these thoughts made you feel the rush coming on and you whispered

“I’m gonna cum" 

"Cum baby” And you did at the same time he did. He put you down and fixed himself. You changed into your regular clothes and he started laughing.

“What” You raised an eyebrow 

“I’m just glad you got on birth control last month” You shook your head and giggled thinking of the panic that he’d go through if you weren’t. 

“Kinda wanted to see you panic” You laughed and thought of the last time he did…that wasn’t fun….who are we kidding yes it was. 

Low and meek one, lift up your head.
Beloved I call out to you but
your heart is abrasive towards me.

Your heart feels unsought. Feeling insignificant,
the words of many have knocked you down. Insecure. Weary. Broken. Distraught. Out of all the people in this room, yes, I want you.

You have let go of my words because
you may think they are too good to be true,
but verily I say unto you, my grace is sufficient.
Today, let go of doubts and trust in me.
Don’t hold back any longer. Open your hands to receive joy. Receive Grace. Forgive yourself and let go. Though you feel undeserving. Accept my abundant love. Stop fighting.

You are beautiful in my eyes. You are wanted.
You were worth the pain and bloodshed. You were worth every nail, the jeering and the scourging.
Believe I have more in store for you.
Your life isn’t over yet and I’m not finished with you.
Let go, and receive grace Beloved.

—  Nearer, nearer
How He Reacts to the Breakup Part 2


“No Calum,” I say to him through the phone.

“Why not?” He asks back.

“Why do you think?”

“Okay, first of all, don’t you dare sass me. And second of all, you guys need to talk at some point.”

“I can sass you all I want. Don’t tell me what to do. And don’t you think if I wanted to talk to him I would?”

“Okay, I see your point, but you guys still need to talk. You’ve been together for almost 6 years. You’re really going to let that go over some stupid fight?” I can tell Calum is starting to get a little frustrated.

“Calum, would you like it if someone threw your insecurity in your face and then told you it would be better than staying with you?” All I can hear right now is complete silence, well not complete silence. I can hear a female voice in the background. “Thought so.”

“Hey, Calum? Who are you talking to?” The same female voice says. A very familiar female voice, who was once a second mother to me.

“Uh, (Y/N)?” He says it as a question.

“How is she?” Liz asks.

“Why don’t you ask her yourself? (Y/N) I’m putting you on speaker.” ‘Please don’t’ I think to myself.

“Hi (Y/N),” Liz says, and I can literally hear the smile in her voice.

“Hey, Liz, how are you?” I ask politely.

“I should be asking you that.”

“Oh, uh… I’m…” I stumble over my words. I can hear two other male voices whispering to each other, not very quietly and I know it’s Michael and Ash. They have never been good at keeping their voices low. I hear a door creak open and then everyone goes silent. Then all I hear is Luke.

“What? WHAT? I can’t stand you guys looking at me like that. I’m not a doll. I’m not some piece of China. I’m a human being. I can feel like this, I’m entitled to it. You want to know why we broke up? I’ll tell you. We got into a huge fight over God knows what. Something about females and clubs,” he laugh humourlessly. God I missed his voice. He then continues, “a deadly combination those two. And before you start, no I did not cheat. She was afraid. Afraid that one of those times I was clubbing, I’d forget I was in a relationship and do whatever the hell I feel like. I told her she was stupid, that I love her too much to do that. Then the argument got heated and I threw that insecurity in her face saying that maybe, just maybe I would go out and do that. I said that it would be better than staying with her. I can never forget the look on her face when I said that. Or the choked sobs that fell from her oh so perfect lips. It’s like a broken record playing on repeat in my mind over and over again. That is when she told me she can’t stay with me. That is when she grabbed what she could and walked out of this goddamn apartment. I had a ring you know? I was going to purpose to her on our 6th year anniversary.” He’s crying and I can hear it. I can also feel that I’m crying and that I am one hundred percent speechless. I never knew he had a ring or that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.

Luke sniffles and says, “Calum. Hand me the phone.” My whole body stiffens. I didn’t want to talk to him, but before I can hang up, I can hear shuffling and then a door close. I figure it was Calum who left the room and I let out a sigh.

“(Y/N).” Defiantly not Calum. “(Y/N), please listen to me.” Time to pull the big girl panties up.

“Why?” I can hear him suck in a sharp breath. This is painful for both of us.

“Because I need to talk you, that’s why.” He says.

“First of all, don’t you ever speak to me as I am a child! And second of all, didn’t you say everything you needed to say to me that night?” He makes me fucking livid.

“I didn’t mean any of that and you know it. You didn’t mean any of the things you said either.”

“Some of it was true, like, I dunno, you’re an inconsiderate asshole?” I ask him. He starts to chuckle and I can’t help, but smile. I miss that sound.

“I am an inconsiderate asshole. I will admit that. I was also admit, that I am an inconsiderate asshole who loves you. I never meant to say any of those things to you that night. I would never go out to a club and forget I was in a relationship with you. How can I, when you’re all I think about?” He sucks in a sharp breath as if remembering something, “I’m also assuming you heard my confession?”

“You mean the one where you said that you had a ring and was going to propose to me on our 6th year anniversary?” I ask.

“That would be the one,” he confirms.

“I may have heard it, may have not,” I giggle.

“God,” he sighs, “I’ve missed your laugh so much. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too. It’s so different with being with you for 6 years to not being with you. It was a real change. Especially when I’ve grown so accustomed to our routine.” I confess.

“It can go back that way though. I mean.. If you want?” He asks me, and I can hear the desperation in his voice.

“Luke, I love you, and you know that…-”

“Please don’t say what I think you’re going to say. I know I broke your trust and that’s going to be very difficult to get back, but I don’t care as long as I’m with you. We’ve been together 6 years, and I want to be with you for many more. Please (Y/N). Please baby. This fight was a one time thing. We’ve both learned from our mistakes, so that they won’t happen again. And I swear, that I will never, ever, bring up an insecurity of yours ever again. And if I do, I give you permission to yell at me for it. Just please, don’t give up on us. Don’t give up on me,” he whispers the last sentence. “Plus, we can have amazing makeup sex,” he says laughing.

“Lucas!” I laugh with him.

“What baby?”

“I agree to marry you.”

“You’re not supposed to say yes now. You have to say yes when I ask you. You can’t do this! You’re not even supposed to know. You ruined it,” he says whining.

“Shut up you dork,” I say laughing.

“On one condition,” he says.


“Come home.”

“On my way.”


“Why does he have to be such an asshole? I mean, does he have so little trust in me to think that I would do that?” I say angrily to Shawn, my best friend from public and high school.

“I mean, if that was to happen to me, I probably would’ve asked questions first and then freak out. Not accuse you,” he responds. I’m about to respond to Shawn, when I hear a knock on my door.

“Who the hell could that be?” I ask to Shawn, but he just shrugs his shoulders. I walk to the door and open it. Just as I get a glimpse of who’s behind, I start to slam it shut, but a hand stops me from doing so.

“(Y/N),” Calum says.

“What?” I say rudely.

“Can we talk?” He asked politely.

“Why? So you can just accuse me of other things? No thank you,” I say and start to close the door again.

“Can you just stop for one minute and let me talk? I made a mistake! I’m human! Humans make mistakes! Hell, you make mistakes! Yes, I accused you of cheating, and I know that was wrong! But what was also wrong was not giving me a heads up saying that there would be pictures of you with some guy and that it was just your best friend. This could’ve have never happened if you could’ve told me.” I go to open my mouth to say something, but he interrupts me. “No, you don’t get to say anything. You know what I don’t understand about this whole thing? Is that you know I’m afraid you’re going to leave me for another guy. You know every time I hop on a plane, I’m afraid you’re going to find someone who will be there for you all the time, you can always answer your calls, and can always fall asleep next you you. You know that. And that’s what made me so pissed. You could’ve given me a heads up.”

“So now you’re turning this all around on me?” I say sharply.

“You know what? You’re fucking impossible. Enjoy your fucking life. Oh, and Shawn right?”

“Uh, yeah?” Shawn asks confused.

“I’d run while you can, before you can’t get out,” Calum says and looks at me with a glare and turns away.


“Michael?” I hear her voice behind me. I slowly turn around to see (Y/N) looking at me with a smile.

“(Y/N,” I say with a glare.

“How are you?” She asks me.


“Aw, why the one worded answers?” She smiles sweetly. God, I hate her. I go to respond when I feel hands wrap around my waist.

“Hi, Mikey.” I turn around and see my girlfriend Stephanie. I can see (Y/N) look at her questionably and so I kiss her.

“Hi, baby.”

“Whose this Michael?” (Y/N) asks.

“(Y/N), this is my girlfriend Stephanie. Steph, this is (Y/N).” I introduce them.

“Oh, you mean cheating ex-girlfriend (Y/N)?” Steph asks.

“That would be her,” I confirm smirking. (Y/N) is looking rather uncomfortable, and I’m loving every minute of it.

“Umm, well… I have to go, but make we can catch up some time Mikey?” (Y/N) asks making Steph frown.

“Most likely not,” I respond and Steph and I walk away.


I’ve lost Steph at this stupid party, we decided to come to. My eyes are scanning the room trying to find her when arms wrap around my waist and thinking it’s Steph, I turn around. Definitely not Steph. (Y/N) smiles up to me. “Hey Mikey.”

“Leave me alone,” I say and unravel myself from her.

“But, I miss you.” (Y/N) says, wrapping her arms around my neck. She then starts slowly grinding her hips into mine. I’ve had a couple of drinks, so I’m not thinking clearly. (Y/N) starts to kiss up my neck to my ear, where she then whispers, “how about we go upstairs huh?” Logic suddenly goes out the window as I nod my head yes. (Y/N) takes my hand and leads me to a bedroom where she closes the door and pushes me onto the bed. She climbs on top of me and starts to circle her hips making me groan. “Ugh, Michael,” she moans as she tugs on my hair. The sound is so hot, that I instantly grow hard. (Y/N) attaches her lips to mine and starts kissing me roughly. My hands have moved to her hips, guiding her, and applying more pressure making me groan. The door creaks open and I hear a gasp. I’ve never looked up so fast in my life.

“You know Michael, you know how it feels to be cheated on. I just didn’t think you’d be the one to cheat,” Steph says to me, with tears running down her face as she runs out of the room.

“Steph, wait please,” I yell after her. As I go to try and find her (Y/N) grabs my arm.

“Mike, baby, let’s finish what we started.”

“No, fuck off. I never wanted to become you, but apparently now I have! Steph was good to me, but because of you I fucking lost her,” I say fuming and leave the room. There’s no way I can ever get Steph to forgive me, so there’s no point, in even trying to find her. Instead, I head to the kitchen to get something to drink. You never win anything in life when cheating.


“Have you even spoke with Ashton since you told him?” Darrien, my best friend asks me.

“No, I fucked him up pretty bad. I mean have you seen the tabloids? He’s fucking everything with a pulse.” I say walking by yet another store with a magazine with Ashton and some whore on the cover.

“The sex must be good though right?” Darrien asks.

“Fuck, it was so good. His long fingers holding your hips down as he fucks you, ugh, soo good,” I moan to her.

“Then maybe you should’ve told him the truth and not lie to him?”

“What, you mean, where I actually am in love with him and I only needed to win the bet so I could get the money to pay for rent?” I say, still ashamed of what I did.

“Yeah, maybe he’ll understand?” She says.

“I highly-” I’m cut off as I’m knocked to the ground.

“Fuck,” a grumbly voice says, “I’m sorry.” My eyes go wide as I recognize the voice. Ashton.

“That’s okay,” I say still on the ground as I refuse to get up.

“Are you going to get up? Or stay on the ground all day?” He asks rudely. I really must of damaged him.

“I, I’m getting up,” I say quietly. When I’m fully on my feet, I make eye contact with Ashton for the first time since I left. As he recognizes who I am, he sucks in a sharp breath.

“(Y/N),” Ashton says and I’ve never heard him sound so disgusted.

“Hi, Ash,” I say and tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

“Don’t, don’t call me that. You lost the right to do that when you told me I was a bet.”

“Can I be honest with you?” I ask him.

“I don’t know, can you? I mean you weren’t exactly honest with me in the first place,” he says and I can hear how he’s struggling to keep is facade up.

“I needed the money. That’s why I did it. I was getting kicked out of my apartment and my friends decided to bet me that if I could get you to fall in love with me within 8 months, they would each give me $300. Halfway through, I realized I was starting to fall in love with you. You don’t know how many times I wanted to back out and tell you, but then I wouldn’t have had anywhere to live. Please Ash, I never meant to hurt you,” I say crying. I can see the shock on Ashton’s face, but he doesn’t say anything. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you so bad, and turned you into this monster,” I say referring to all the sex.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He said pulling me into his arms.

“I was afraid of the outcome. I was afraid if I told you, you would still hate me. Then I wouldn’t have anywhere to live and I would’ve lost you.” I confess.

“Well, that alternative is better than completely breaking me,” he says.

“I’m sorry, I know that now,” I say back. “I do love you though.”

“I just, I need time,” he says and sighs.

“I know, you’re going to need a lot of time to forgive me, but please, don’t push me away.”

“I’ll try not to.”


today I would like to do something with you. i’d like to spread self love and positive feelings. you can participate by posting a selfie of you with your natural face and hair (no makeup, no hair product!) (i’ve nothing against those things, I use them every day and I love makeup, but today I want us all to appreciate ourselves the way we naturally are!)

use the tag “nomakeupmeetup” to post your selfies (as many as you like!), and then go through the tag and meet new friends and compliment each other!! see lovely pretty faces!

it’s okay if you’re nervous or insecure! i hate my natural hair, and that’s part of the reason i’m doing this today. let’s ALL go into 2015 loving each other and ourselves just the way we are!