Rebel with a Cause (Pt. 1)
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Since they decided not to delve any deeper into Cassian’s backstory (rude), I decided to make my own.
Character / Person: Cassian Andor
Premise: Cassian is protective over you as you go out on a suicide mission.
1st Person Perspective
Between the two of us, we have killed enough people to be considered an army.
But between the two of us, we carried enough remorse for the entire world.
I did not want this life. Nobody did. In the end, though, we did not have a choice.
Join the fight or die.
Well, join the fight and die anyway. But die for a cause, I suppose.
And that’s what she chose to do.
I met Y/N when she was eighteen and I was nineteen. I had been training for several years, both physically and mentally. Which meant that physically, I towered over her - this scrawny, terrified little girl who flinched if you even looked at her. Mentally, I felt no sympathy. If she wanted any part in the revolution, she needed to grow up. She told me once I was a droid. This wasn’t a job for crybabies, I shot back.
God, did she prove me wrong. Her emotion drove her to fight harder, move faster, think deeper. She surpassed me quickly.
Off the battlefield though, she hurt. I didn’t know why, until the first time she killed somebody - or so I thought it was the first.
We were on a reconnaissance mission on Kashyyyk. We weren’t supposed to have to kill anyone, but we weren’t supposed to get kidnapped either.
Ziton Moj had recognized my ship; he followed us from Mustafar. He had a gun to my head and was seconds from pulling the trigger when he collapsed, bleeding from the head. Y/N stood behind him, one hand holding a smoking blaster and the other over her mouth. I grabbed her and ran before any of Moj’s men could decide to return the favor.
As we flew away, she was staring out the window. She seemed worlds away. I called her name, but she didn’t respond. I lightly set my hand on her arm, and she jumped. “Are you alright?” I asked.
She explained that she had only ever killed one person before: her father. He was an Imperial officer whose hobbies included killing innocent people and occasionally beating Y/N and her mom.
From then on, I tried my hardest to keep her away from missions that could involve killing. She argued about it many times, saying that she had to learn to overcome it if she “wanted to be part of the Rebellion.”
“I want to be like you, Cassian,” she said.
That was the first time I kissed her. I was about to leave on a mission, and everything came crashing down on me at once. This girl was one of the strongest, and I needed someone like that in my life. I needed her balance. Her stability. Her passion and emotion and love. I needed her.
I couldn’t help myself; I kissed her. She was surprised, but in a good way, I’d like to think.
And then it became a matter of me keeping her away from the battlefield so that she wouldn’t get hurt. I felt that if I died, she would be alright. But if something happened to her…I don’t know what I would do.
When I tried explaining this to her, she cried. I asked her why. “Cas…” She whispered. “You’re wrong.” That was all she said.
I couldn’t keep her from the fight for long, however. She was a Rebel, no matter what I did. She took on the mission that nobody else would. That’s where this story begins, and hers ends.
I heard the shower turn off and I subconsciously moved over in my bed. Y/N came out of the bathroom with her pajamas on and towel-dried her hair. I glanced up from my book at her, and she grinned at me. She was beautiful.
She crawled under the sheets in the spot I had just vacated. “Cas,” she hummed. “Read me a story.”
I chuckled, “This isn’t exactly fairytale material.” I showed her the front cover: The Origins of the Clone Wars.
“Sounds fascinating,” she said.
“Alright,” I responded, “Make yourself comfortable.” I kissed her head as she burrowed farther down into her blankets.
She slung her arm around my waist and nestled her face into my side. “Ready,” she mumbled.
“A long time ago,” I began. “In a galaxy far, far away…”
When I woke up the next morning, Y/N was gone. I assumed she was in the dining hall, but she was nowhere to be found and I ate my breakfast. I only heard her name, floating around the room in whispers.
A Selonian and a Kurtzen sat nearby me and cast furtive glances my way every so often. They mentioned something about a mission. Curiously, I headed up to the flight bay to see what was going on.
I found Y/N there in her flight gear, and my heart paused for a moment.
“Y/N,” I called, jogging over to her.
“Cas!” She threw her arms around my neck.
“What’s going on?”
She explained, “Mon Mothma has assigned me to a mission.”
She must have sensed my hesitation. “Hey, Cas,” she said gently as she grasped my hands. “You don’t need to worry about me. Really.”
“I’m not worried.” I lied, and she knew it. “You’re going to do great.” She smiled, but it was tinged with a hint of sadness.
“Thank you, Cassian,” she said. Leaning forward, she kissed my cheek before running off to continue diagnostics on her ship. The second I was out of her eye sight, I took off myself, looking for the Mothma.
I found her, as usual, in the strategic defense room. “Ma'am?” I said hesitantly.
“Captain Andor,” she replied. “I know why you’re here.”
I cleared my throat. “With all due respect, ma'am, what is this mission you’re sending Y/N on? Is she ready for it?”
She nodded. “Yes. I have assessed her, and I believe she is prepared.”
“But - ”
“Captain Andor,” she soothed. “I know your opinion on sending Lieutenant Y/N on missions, but she requested to be put on this one.”
I was taken aback. “She…she said that you assigned her to this.”
“Well, I offered it to her, certainly. I was never going to force her to do anything. It was her decision.”
“Where is she going?” I asked.
Mon Mothma glanced down. “Lieutenant Y/N is going undercover on the Death Star base.”
“As I said, she requested to be put on this. She said she wanted to right her father’s wrongs.”
My mind whirled. “Thank you for your time,” I managed. I started back towards the flight bay.
I could tell Y/N knew as I approached her. “Cassian…” She began.
“What were you thinking?” I exclaimed. “You know how dangerous this is going to be?”
She blinked. “Cas, listen - ”
“No, Y/N, you listen.” I took her by the arms. My heart pounded so loudly my head began to ache from the noise. “If you’re trying to prove something, you don’t have to. Not to me, not to anyone else - we all know that you’re brave enough. I don’t want you risking your life for this!”
Shaking her head vigorously, she said, “No, Cas, it’s not about that. I joined the Rebellion for a reason. I don’t want to sit off to the side, watching everyone else save the galaxy for me. And as much as I appreciate you protecting me - ” She brushed her thumb along my cheek, and it was like fireworks followed her fingertip. I shivered. “I am going to help.”
I pressed my hand to hers against my face. “Y/N,” I breathed. “Please don’t go. If something happened - ”
“We all have to take risks, Cassian. How do you think I feel every time you go out on a mission? It terrifies me. But you always come back to me. Now I need you to trust me to do the same.”
Her eyes were full of sincerity. I searched them wildly with my own. “I love you,” I said quietly.
“I love you too,” she breathed. I kissed her - maybe too roughly, but I was afraid. Afraid that this was the last time we’d ever kiss. Afraid I’d never see her again.
I pressed her as close to me as possible, wanting to hold her forever. But eventually, she stepped back. “I have to go,” she said softly.
“Please be careful,” I urged.
A couple engineers waited to the side to disengage her ship. She joined them and took something from one of their hands. “Here, Cas,” she said, offering it to me. It was a radio. “We’ll still be able to keep in contact. Just…not as often as I’d like.”
I didn’t realize I was shaking until I took it from her. I couldn’t say anything; I nodded.
“Okay.” She bit her lip, staring at me. Then she gave me one last hug.
I watched her climb into her ship and begin the takeoff process. Slowly backing away as she began to roll down the landing strip, I clutched her radio to my chest. “Goddammit,” I whispered, panicking. “Goddammit. Fuck.”
I didn’t know then that I would see her again, but not like either of us had ever expected